RisenPhoenix Blah blah blahs

[sarakingdom]

Bitch, we are going to Zen.  Get your ass over here and do some crazy aikido breathing shit.

[RisenPhoenix]

I mean, is there anything else that you could transfer yourself over to doing for this company? Anything to get out of the rut and spice things up again?

 

This was the thing I was reflecting on on the way to work this morning.

 

All of the training my boss 'promised' me are things that definitely would help keep my mind engaged.  But when I thought about it more, there was one glaring issue I had with the plan:  Everything they want to train on makes me more valuable internally, but confers practically no benefit externally.  And on top of that, everything the boss wants to train me on are proprietary assays, but they all boil down to the same thing:  Seed cells, treat them for X hours, stain using antibodies.  And know what?  I can do that.  I can do that easily.  Yes, certain cell types are a bit more sensitive and you need to tweak how you handle them.  But ultimately, I'm learning nothing new but what internal experiment uses what internal antibody.  All of the potential skills I could transfer out (primary cell line work - which are very different from other cells, more regular assay development work, more responsibility in reports, etc etc) are things that were targeted for the start of NEXT year.  If we're lucky and things go according to plans.  Yes, companies should try to train people to make things better internally, but when your employee writes in his review that he's not mentally engaged.... that should be a warning sign.

 

Now, the baseline argument is "Well, you don't have much experience."  Which is true, in the sense that I haven't been given much training on anything for the past year.  I got stuck doing two experiments, and that was it.  But the graduate degree and the 5-ish years on the bench don't amount to "not much" in any sense of the phrase (at least in the context of I'm stuck doing work someone with significantly less experience could do.  You know, like a monkey).  But really it comes down to "Do I trust the company to train me on all the things they say they will?"  And I don't.  Not by a long shot.

 

Add in the fact that this job ignores 2/3rds of my skill set (my preferred skill set, no less, even with hopes of expanding out to molecular biology work), and it's starting to make more sense why I'm miserable. 

 

Sorry, that got ranty.  My day just keeps getting more miserable. :/

 

Bitch, we are going to Zen.  Get your ass over here and do some crazy aikido breathing shit.

 

Yes ma'am.

 

Breathing while standing is weird.  Maybe I should try to find some guided meditation podcasts or something...

[QuothTheDragon]

This was the thing I was reflecting on on the way to work this morning.

 

All of the training my boss 'promised' me are things that definitely would help keep my mind engaged.  But when I thought about it more, there was one glaring issue I had with the plan:  Everything they want to train on makes me more valuable internally, but confers practically no benefit externally.  And on top of that, everything the boss wants to train me on are proprietary assays, but they all boil down to the same thing:  Seed cells, treat them for X hours, stain using antibodies.  And know what?  I can do that.  I can do that easily.  Yes, certain cell types are a bit more sensitive and you need to tweak how you handle them.  But ultimately, I'm learning nothing new but what internal experiment uses what internal antibody.  All of the potential skills I could transfer out (primary cell line work - which are very different from other cells, more regular assay development work, more responsibility in reports, etc etc) are things that were targeted for the start of NEXT year.  If we're lucky and things go according to plans.  Yes, companies should try to train people to make things better internally, but when your employee writes in his review that he's not mentally engaged.... that should be a warning sign.

 

Now, the baseline argument is "Well, you don't have much experience."  Which is true, in the sense that I haven't been given much training on anything for the past year.  I got stuck doing two experiments, and that was it.  But the graduate degree and the 5-ish years on the bench don't amount to "not much" in any sense of the phrase (at least in the context of I'm stuck doing work someone with significantly less experience could do.  You know, like a monkey).  But really it comes down to "Do I trust the company to train me on all the things they say they will?"  And I don't.  Not by a long shot.

 

Add in the fact that this job ignores 2/3rds of my skill set (my preferred skill set, no less, even with hopes of expanding out to molecular biology work), and it's starting to make more sense why I'm miserable. 

 

Sorry, that got ranty.  My day just keeps getting more miserable. :/

 

Ugh, that sounds so gross. Sorry that you're dealing with that :/ 

 

Maybe a perspective shift may help though? Feel free to ignore me, it's just something that helps me out from time to time. I'll even put it in spoiler tags in case you don't want to read it lol.

 

You should realize that you're not approaching the job hunt from a "damn-I-need-a-job-I'll-take-anything!" starting point. You said it yourself: you have a graduate degree and 5 years of experience. That's pretty damn awesome. Be proud of it. Know that you're job hunting from a "I'm-a-badass-with-experience-and-you-totally-need-me-for-your-company" starting point. Plus, being currently employed is super attractive to potential employers, so you have that going for you too.

 

So, when you look at job postings, instead of "Would they maybe hire me?", it should be "Do I want to work for them?"  The confidence will show in your resume, phone interviews, and in-person interviews. If that feels weird, just fake it till you make it! That may or may not be how I ended up in my field.

 

Also, don't stress if you have to think about moving outside of your comfort zone. Know that there are Nerds everywhere and Nerds are the greatest. You'll have a support system no matter where you go. 

 

In the end, burnout is no fun. Don't feel bad if you need to ignore the world for a bit. If you need to do it, you need to do it. Self-care is the best.

 

I will leave you with a cute Shiba puppy gif.

 

[Kyellan]

Ugh, burnout sucks. I'm currently in a similar boat... stuck with the same responsibilities for 18 months now, lots of promises... so far nothing materializing. It's kind of driving me nuts.

 

You're in Boston, right? I'm pretty sure there are a couple of biotech firms up here by me (Portsmouth NH)...

[RisenPhoenix]

Ugh, that sounds so gross. Sorry that you're dealing with that :/ 

 

Maybe a perspective shift may help though? Feel free to ignore me, it's just something that helps me out from time to time. I'll even put it in spoiler tags in case you don't want to read it lol.

 

You should realize that you're not approaching the job hunt from a "damn-I-need-a-job-I'll-take-anything!" starting point. You said it yourself: you have a graduate degree and 5 years of experience. That's pretty damn awesome. Be proud of it. Know that you're job hunting from a "I'm-a-badass-with-experience-and-you-totally-need-me-for-your-company" starting point. Plus, being currently employed is super attractive to potential employers, so you have that going for you too.

 

So, when you look at job postings, instead of "Would they maybe hire me?", it should be "Do I want to work for them?"  The confidence will show in your resume, phone interviews, and in-person interviews. If that feels weird, just fake it till you make it! That may or may not be how I ended up in my field.

 

Also, don't stress if you have to think about moving outside of your comfort zone. Know that there are Nerds everywhere and Nerds are the greatest. You'll have a support system no matter where you go. 

 

In the end, burnout is no fun. Don't feel bad if you need to ignore the world for a bit. If you need to do it, you need to do it. Self-care is the best.

 

I will leave you with a cute Shiba puppy gif.

 

 

It is all very, very true.  The burnout is making me feel extra wonky, and it's definitely sleep related.  I took a 20-30 minute nap yesterday before aikido and woke up feeling so much better than I had when I went to sleep.

 

And yea.  Nerds are everywhere.  And the internet makes most things everywhere.  Except my dojo.  And that kills me a little on the inside.   Planning on talking to Senpai about his thoughts on career-based moving and moving away from the dojo.  Mainly because he did it.  He clearly came back.  But I'd like someone else's perspective (especially someone who kept practicing after they moved).

 

Ugh, burnout sucks. I'm currently in a similar boat... stuck with the same responsibilities for 18 months now, lots of promises... so far nothing materializing. It's kind of driving me nuts.

 

You're in Boston, right? I'm pretty sure there are a couple of biotech firms up here by me (Portsmouth NH)...

 

Yea.  My trust level right now with the company is nil.  On the plus side, I've taken on a small side project.  Based on some of my grad school work, but it's interesting enough to me that I can keep myself entertained for a bit.  Huzzah, making my own mental engagement (pretty sure my coworker was half expecting me to not have any thoughts on why something went the way it did in her experiment, and instead got a good 15 minute brain dump on the topic and why things may be appearing as they are in the data).

 

And no jobs in Portsmouth for an infectious disease-researching microbiologist.  I checked.

 

 

 

So.  Yesterday was a giant ball o' shite (see previous posts).  Today is looking much better (see: Mental engagement at work).  Also, today starts week 3 in the 5/3/1, and my morning felt pretty damn solid.  Battle log has the whole schpeel, plus my thoughts.

 

Food yesterday was pretty decent, though today is a bit of a shit show.  Our lab manager bought bagels.  No way I'm resisting them.  I had one yesterday (cinnamon+raisin with cream cheese), though it was pretty much my sole snack for the day, and this morning I had half a sesame seed bagel with cream cheese (I did use my willpower here, and glad for it).  And then.... someone brought in a blueberry walnut poundcake.  Newp.  All of it.  In my face.  OM NOM NOM NOM.  Add in the fact that I had cereal for breakfast (Honey Bunches of Oats w/ Almonds made with CARAMEL PROTEIN POWDER SHAKE MILK!!! Actually it was a bit too sweet for my liking...), and I'm nommed a lot of carbs today.  I'm surprisingly okay with this.  Between my lifts this morning and two-plus hours of aikido tonight, I'm down with lots of free, abundant energy in my system.

 

Class last night was fun.  Sensei is gearing up for the Japan demonstration.  I feel part of this leads him to use me a lot for demonstrations in class to get me to improve my ukemi.  Not 100% sure, but I feel like it has some bearing.  Also, it feels really strange to walk into class, look around the room, and realize before we even start that I am 1) one of the most senior people there, 2) that I'm probably going to be called up a fair amount, and that 3) I'm likely to get thrown from break falls - a lot.  Seems Sensei likes using me for the breakfall demonstrations these days - even if senior students are around.  Thankfully a cat nap yesterday before class made me feel amazing, so I was down for pretty much anything.

 

I also seem to have picked up a "pet project" in the form of a newer student.  He's just amazingly fun to work with.  He listens to advice pretty well, and is mostly okay with me making out-loud notes to myself when I do techniques.  And he does a lot of the same things wrong as me.  So I can verbally help him by pointing those things out and then cement them in my own brain.  And every now and again the lightbulb clicks on techniques when I make a correction for him.  In this case, last night's example was duing iriminage and how the positioning of the hand (palm facing nage vs palm away from nage) influences what muscles are activated and why turning over the hand at a certain point 1) makes the best use of the arm by not using the bicep by the lats and tricep/"extension" muscles of aikido and 2) the turning when connected helps unbalance an opponent further.

 

At least that's what I saw.  And what I said.  And then talked about how everything I say should be taken with grains of salt.

 

And then after class I was trying to help him with ushiro tekubitori sankyo.  I'm not good at Sankyo.  At all.  It's always... too loose.  I don't connect my center to the uke's center very well, partially because the grip is so awkward for me.  I can do it, but the amount of effort it requires from my brain is not ideal.  So practicing with this guy is helping me.  It was also one of the big techniques Sioux advocated knowing well enough to teach a new student, because it is so tricky.  So I find myself going over the classes she taught it in my mind over and over, trying to find the big major points she focused on and what tips I can dredge out of my memory.  It's been.... calming, in a way.  So much lost over all, but I feel like if I can teach this better with her highlights, I can at least pass her memory on a bit more, and she can touch more people's lives even if she's long gone. Dunno.  Not a depressing thought, but not exactly a happy one, either. (Of which, her memorial is the end of April.  Already RSVPed to go.) 

 

Anywho.  Time to do some more paper research.  Yay, mental engagement!

[pwallace]

So I have the perfect place for you to test out your zombie virus. It is a residential housing unit for children. teh staff there would be MORE than happy for you to experiment on the little terrors that are there. What you think? cut me in for say 30% of the profits and i will facilitate you with this testing ground..

 

 

30% and a katana to go after the kids that is haha

 

sorry things have been rough lately. I know how you feel. they do get better eventually. Good job with the pet project. hope it keeps going well

[RisenPhoenix]

Just talked with my parents. Apparently our dog has a malignant cancer in his mouth ad nasal passage. On the assumption that they won't be able to do surgery, the vet gave the dog about two months to live.

Yup. These past few weeks have been great.

Making the trip to the folks during easter weekend to say my goodbyes to the little fella. Bugger all.

[Kishi]

Geez, if it's not one thing it's another.

 

[Mistr]

yeah, what Kishi said. My sympathy on the sad news about your dog.

 

I'm glad you found a project for mental engagement at work. I personally have zero tolerance for being bored. I hope some good prospects show up soon.

 

Also take advantage of your network. Maybe you've already done this, but ask around at the dojo and NP for leads on companies that might be hiring. Another option is to work with a recruiter. They may know about positions that never get posted publically. You now have that coveted industry experience on top of your PhD. As Quothy said, you are a hot property.

[Everstorm]

My condolences, man. That sucks.

[joedog]

I finally get out of my own head to go check on my friends and find many of them having crappy times. I hate that the blahs have been hitting you so hard. I'm not filled with good advice but I have lots of hugs. 

[RisenPhoenix]

Thanks, everyone.  Today hasn't been a great day.  Probably partially a self-fulfilling prophecy.  Everything seemed to break or cause trouble for me today.  Sigh.  I'm going to go hide for a bit.  Also back up to 219 for weight, and my gut increased back up to 37.75".  So that didn't exactly help my self esteem levels.  One step forward, two steps back for everything in life I feel for the past few weeks.

 

Sigh.

 

Cross posting my Battle Log because I'm lazy but did lift today.  Hiding behind a spoiler tag.  Contains a bit of a rant/ramble at the end.  Which is probably good, since I haven't even had the energy to rant all day.  Which is never a good sign for me.

 

OHP:

55# x5

65# x5

80# x3

95# x3

110# x3

120# x3  (1+ set)

 

DL:

155# x5

195# x5

230# x3

290# x5

330# x3

365# x4 (1+ set)

 

 

DB Rows (per side)

35# x10

35# x10

40# x10

 

DB Curls (per side)

20# x10

20# x10

22.5# x10

 

Upped the DB weight in the last sets because I have no idea how DB weight progressions should go.  Either way, I'm glad I did the increase.  Weights felt just right after the previous 2 sets (enough weight that I felt like I had to work, but not so much I worried about being unable to finish the set).

 

Good Mornings:

45# x10

45# x10

45# x10

 

Kinda the same deal here, no idea how the progression on this should go.  Any tips out there? (Besides "Go slowly" because the exercise isn't meant for crazy weights.)

 

Dips:

10, 10, 10

 

Over all, a pretty solid-feeling gym session.  I do need to watch the form on the deads, making sure I'm activating dem hammis.  The last set I really focused on making that happen.  Wish I could have gotten 5 pulls from that, though.  Oh well.

 

Next week is deload, which will be interesting.  Every other time I've done a deload I've been rather haphazard with it.  This is already defined and ready to go.  And looks sooooo light.  Only thing I'm not sure of is if I should 'deload' my DB weights.  Thinking not, because it's not like I'm using 100# DB weights or anything.  And it's accessory work.  It doesn't matter like the main lifts do (in this instance, at least).

 

Also frustrated as all hell about my weight at the moment.  While not ideal, I weighed myself twice this week (before my usual weigh in day) in the mornings before work.  Apparently I'm back to 219.  Which makes little to no damned sense, given that's a 2-4 pound increase in a few days with me still being under my caloric goal for the most part most days (by a decent margin, no less).  Keeping steady at my weight would make sense, but gaining makes no sense.  And my gut was up a half an inch.  Less surprising there, because I flucuate a lot in my stomach.  But it's frustrating, since I've actually been eating better this week than last week.  Only slight differences are I have had a lot of salt (sunflower seeds, jerky, and a very salty corned beef), so there's hope that it's just a lot of water weight, and I've had a bit more carbs this week (in the form of using Honey Bunches of Oats as a breakfast item).  But even with the cereal, I've been VERY wary to keep it to only a serving or two (130-260 calories).  Even if I assume that I'm missing some calories from mindlessly snacking (which I doubt, but hey, good to take all potential weirdness when things are going on), I doubt it was 14,000 calories worth of snacking.  If it was, I have bigger problems than I thought.

 

But anyway, this weight issue is feeding into my not-great mental state that's been hovering over me the last week or two.  I'm just tired.  I can see my damned goal, and I'm trying to be patient, and after 2 and a half years I'm kinda pushing my patience limits.  It's really strange being less satisfied with a clearly more-fit body than I've ever had (ever, not even in my adult life, just flat fucking out ever) than I feel I had when I was 250+ pounds.  And I know that part of it was having briefly been at the 200# mark and then losing it because of getting laid off.  And then a little over a year later gaining back what was almost half my lost weight.  And yea, a decent chunk of that is muscle.  I don't have illusions about that.  But even with my altered goal of getting down to 18% BF (as opposed to a goal of a weight of 200 pounds), I seem stalled.  I should probably change things up, but I'm not sure how to yet. 

 

Don't mind my ramble.  I'm just feeling tired of fighting at the moment.

[StarGazer]

I'm sorry to hear about your dog sucky.

In terms of feeling down about your weight. Stress and anxiety can absolutely mess with that, though. I know it doesn't help or make it go away and in fact it can feed into itself (weight gain despite eating well because you're stressed, then stress about the weight which brings you right back to start), but don't let it get to you enough to stop working hard. When you break through the stress, when life starts to get back on track, you'll be in a better place. Do what you can, but don't run yourself ragged.

[raptron]

I'd give Beyond 5/3/1 a look-see soon if you are enjoying the 5/3/1 format. The recommended deload time gets moved to every 2 cycles instead of after each cycles. A full deload once a month is a bit overkill for most people, so you can definitely look into deload once every 8 week instead if you find this underwhelming. 

 

Re: other stuff If you've increased salt, increase water to big, big levels for a few days and see what happens. 

[PinkNinja]

I kinda just want to give you a really big hug.

 

Oh, and tell you Protein powder & cereal?! You're a genius.

 

Just curious, what brand do you use? Did you say & I miss it? Sorry.

 

Again, *hugs* I hope you find some relief with work. Job burn out blows and seems to have the power to drag down so many other parts of life.

[RisenPhoenix]

Hi.  I still exist.  Something like this is going on:

 

 

Then stupid people things happen, and I go like this:

 

Not the mad at myself part.  Just the Zuko-rage.  Seriously though.  My temper has been on edge for the past few weeks.  Don't ever recall it being this short.

 

Kind of just been padding my way through life.  Looking forward to my vacation in two weeks.  And being able to unwind without any major worries.  Too much to ask?

 

Challenge has been going well enough.  Still not meditating enough, even though I did a bunch more because of the dropping it down to 2 minutes only for the mini Challenge Kishi posted.  Definitely should do that more.  Also my weigh in on Sunday was 216.4.  Up from last week, down from the early weigh ins, so better than nothing.  Also ate like crap Sunday at a party.  Ended up playing Stone Age with people, which was really fun.  Ended up winning the game - I am always a fan of resource management games.  But I was also right next to the snack table.  Ugh.  And this weekend I'll be going to my folk's house, which means crap food everywhere.  So I think I need to stock up on an emergency snack kit for while I'm there.  This is a really stream-of-consciousness post, sorry guys.  Between keeping my head afloat and the experiment I did today at work, my ability to form a cohesive narrative is limited.  Also my eating has been crap today.  Someone left a large pile of Easter candy next to the coffee pot in the office kitchen.  Okay kids, here's a tip - eating several small bits of candy can rapidly add up into a 500+ calorie binge.  I'm going to regret it later, I'm sure.  Don't do it, it's bad.

 

Okay, here's an attempt at a cohesive narrative, and blah blah blah, and an aikido tidbit.

 

Practicing in aikido (and I imagine similarly in other grappling arts like Judo, but I do not know) is different in that you literally can't practice techniques without another person attached to you.  Yes, you can pantomime the movements and the steps, but the anatomy attached to you gives a whole lot of clues (though I suppose if you were extremely well versed in anatomy and physiology AND excellent in spacial awareness you might be able to get things alone without a partner.  I doubt it.  But it's possible).  Now, this creates and interesting dynamic.  When the attacker (uke) is launching towards the person who is going to be throwing and performing the technique (nage), the uke already knows what attack is coming AND how they should best fall for the technique.  The trick is that the uke has to pretend that they have no idea what's about to happen to them.  They should have the mind of only an attack meant to hold or harm nage (within reason here, of course).  Furthermore, the trick for uke (especially when engaging in a multiple-attack scenario) is to be connected enough to the nage that any move the nage does (that would cause an anatomical shift) will move uke appropriately.  This is important not only because a committed attack gives nage the force to work with something, but because the connection uke will feel from nage can/will/does protects uke from falling incorrectly.  This is one of the reasons why people say aikido looks like dancing/fake - you get a good, committed uke who can fall well and a practiced, experienced nage and it looks like nothing happens but the uke falling over by themselves.  Which I suppose from a certain point of view is truth, just not as the viewers interpret it.

 

And why do I bring this up?  Because yesterday I was saddled with (one of the) crappiest ukes at my dojo.  A pompous, egotistical ass who will throw you with all his might and muscle (which is wrong in so many ways) and then barely touch you or give you anything to work with when he attacks.  Normally, suffer through his ego by just not helping him.  He's proven any suggestion or tip I offer/try to pass along will be ignored.  So why waste my breath?  But last night... Well, I was really close to harmonizing my fist with his face.  One of our ending exercises (Kokyuho - literally "Breath method") requires someone to grip your wrist and bear forward a bit while both parties are kneeling.  As nage you should/can get their elbows up and with minimal effort move forward with your center and push them over to the side.  Note I said "Grip the wrists."  This guy has two habits when doing this exercise.  Either he barely grips and willow branches himself around your movement (good doing a technique, but doesn't impart energy if you need to throw) or will lightly grip and then SLAM down on you when you're about to toss him over (it's an exercise about energy redirection, a sudden change in form is fine if you're experienced and, you know, friendly with people, but full on rip a person's arms out is not acceptable - it's just plain dickish).  Anywho, I was doing the technique with him, barely getting him to fall over because his willow-ness (again, good for when you're nage, shitty for when you're uke) and having to muscle things, defeating the purpose of the practice.  But when I was trying things, it was taking a while (cuz, you know, nothing to work with).  When I gave up trying to do actual aikido and just freaking pushed him, the egotistical twat under his breath in not in a quiet manner uttered "About time."

 

My past couple of weeks have sucked.  It was probably a good thing that we were also working with a 5th dan who I respect enough to not punch him in the fact.  But it was damned near close.  Harmonizing energy, mother fuckers.

 

(After class I worked with a senior student to try the exercise again.  Had no issues with it beyond the ones I'm trying to tackle.  Also had this rant with her.  She laughed.  A lot.)

[Kishi]

Seriously, bro, you should come mix it up with strikers or something. A lot of this angst could be dealt with just by wrecking and being wrecked.

 

Also, dude, if it wasn't for the fact that I have practice fighting tempting food, I'd probably be in much the same place regarding food and holidays and stuff. It's hard, man. You might need to pull some epic prep make sure that things don't go totally off the rails for you this weekend.

[Kyellan]

Kishi's right--it's a pretty awesome catharsis to just haul off and hit somebody =) Especially when everybody's padded and it's all in good fun.

 

Sorry to hear about your dog... I love dogs. It's not quite the hardest thing in the world to say goodbye to a friend like that, but it's damn close.

 

FYI, my school is coming down to Cambridge for a Kung Fu tournament on May 3rd, in case you happen to be in the area...

[RisenPhoenix]

Seriously, bro, you should come mix it up with strikers or something. A lot of this angst could be dealt with just by wrecking and being wrecked.

 

Pffft.  Throwing someone pretty damn hard into a mat works really well to release angst, too, you know.

 

Speaking of....

 

Like, two people who read this will get this, but last night we did a lot of tricky/advanced/dark magic techniques.  I want to try and write down my interpretations for three of them so maybe I can come back one day and flesh them out.  They were weird enough that I can't imagine seeing them too frequently.  There were two that had 'actual' names (iriminage and kotegashi), but ultiamately those names mean little since the difference was the execution of the technique and not the 'end point' of the technique.  And given my inability to really translate these into anything meaningful beyond mental hints to myself.... uh... sorry guys.

 

Tsuki Iriminage - "The Superman waza" - Slight irimi with a small hip turn to avoid the punch.  Rear arm flies upwards at a ~45 degree angle to induce uke's head backwards and off center.  Stepping in slightly behind uke and straighten hips to take space and uke's center.  Action point is more in the hip contact and the taking of space rather than unbalancing at the neck.  Incredibly direct, and if done correctly uke essentially slips on the upraised flying arm and falls under it.  Need to be "Not nice" and actually get the head up and over, and keep the flying arm raised.

 

Tsuki Kotegaeshi - Yamada Sensei Kotegaeshi - Slight irimi, and 'karate chop' uke's elbow with your forward arm to start unbalancing.  With the rear arm, grab the wrist of uke (palm facing upwards).  No outward irimi is necessary for distance, instead blend and extend along the elbow with the karate chop arm to lead the uke forward.  When uke is moving forward, grip at the elbow and the wrist, and perform a tenkan, imagining you are using the uke's hand to slap their own face.  This torques the uke into the typical kotegaeshi fall without using the wrist joint, and instead rotates around the entire forearm.   While no extra distance is needed before the tenkan, a large opponent can be taken further off balance with a step outwards.

 

Tsuki kokyunage - "Don Quixote waza" - Slide forward, with both arms raised up as a typical iriminage entry.  However, the rear arm (which can be thought of as a distracting atemi instead of a striking one) flies past uke's head, and beings to "windmill" forward (windmill/swimming/throwing a baseball, etc - that type of movement).  The goal is to use the forward momentum of that circle to sweep under uke's arm, catching them at the elbow.  The windmill effect continues, and if the uke's elbow is caught properly then this continued motion should turn their body forward.  Continuing the arm sweep past their head and down again can unbalance uke, and if not falling over at the bottom of the revolution you can grab uke's leg and continue upwards to flip them over (alternatively a very mean atemi to the groin).  Two full arm windmill revolutions should occur with this technique.  Possible to end this on knees instead of keeping standing (I think).

 

 

And that's all I got.  Probably more helpful for me than anyone else.  But the mat.  One of the happiest places I can be.  (Also these were second class, where I was used a lot for demonstration.  First class I was tossed aside and told to work on my 2nd kyu exam with a shodan, a first kyu, and then eventually a 5th dan who made it to class.  Miles to go to polish that stuff to where I'd be comfortable with showing it off, but the basics I got pretty well.)

[RisenPhoenix]

FYI, my school is coming down to Cambridge for a Kung Fu tournament on May 3rd, in case you happen to be in the area...

 

Oh look, I can take a single bus and get into Cambridge like it's nothing.  Tossed into my calendar.  Lemme know the exact details when it gets closer!  Like, where in Cambridge.

[Kyellan]

I'm about 98% sure this is the place, but I'll confirm with my Sifu tonight just to make it 100%.

[RisenPhoenix]

I'm about 98% sure this is the place, but I'll confirm with my Sifu tonight just to make it 100%.

 

If it is, it's literally 15 minute away from my apartment.

[sarakingdom]

Tsuki Iriminage - "The Superman waza" - Slight irimi with a small hip turn to avoid the punch.  Rear arm flies upwards at a ~45 degree angle to induce uke's head backwards and off center.  Stepping in slightly behind uke and straighten hips to take space and uke's center.  Action point is more in the hip contact and the taking of space rather than unbalancing at the neck.  Incredibly direct, and if done correctly uke essentially slips on the upraised flying arm and falls under it.  Need to be "Not nice" and actually get the head up and over, and keep the flying arm raised.

 

This is the kind of shit I love.  You can do it full-contact, and it's satisfyingly rough, but you can also do it so subtly it's like magic.  You just flow around them and they're down.  And both ways are fun.  There's, like, no wrong way to have fun with that one.

 

Also things like shomen uchi sankyo and the like, because I love just holding an uke in a ridiculously vulnerable position they can't get out of till I say so.  Yeah, uke, you can stay down there for a while, we'll just hang out here with my hand on your neck.

[Teirin]

Just caught up.  *hugs*  So sorry about your dog.  Losing a pet is so very hard.  Hope you can spend some good time with him beforehand.

 

Stress has a way of messing with weight one way or the other and you're under a lot of that right now.  I bet that having an effect.

 

Vacation is soon?  You really need this.

 

Glad you're getting some mat time in to help you de-stress some, at least when you're not working with that guy.  You are correct, Judo is exactly the same way.  You can do turn-ins but they're just not the same as working with a partner.   Throwing people is a good way to vent a bit as well.  I like groundwork better because you can pretty seriously brawl with someone and everybody's safe in the end.

[RisenPhoenix]

Just caught up.  *hugs*  So sorry about your dog.  Losing a pet is so very hard.  Hope you can spend some good time with him beforehand.

 

Stress has a way of messing with weight one way or the other and you're under a lot of that right now.  I bet that having an effect.

 

Vacation is soon?  You really need this.

 

Glad you're getting some mat time in to help you de-stress some, at least when you're not working with that guy.  You are correct, Judo is exactly the same way.  You can do turn-ins but they're just not the same as working with a partner.   Throwing people is a good way to vent a bit as well.  I like groundwork better because you can pretty seriously brawl with someone and everybody's safe in the end.

 

Thanks.  Things are slowly looking up across the board.  Dog still isn't looking too hot, but at least according to my parents he's happy and not seemingly in pain.  They have an appointment today to see if it's possible to have surgery to fix the dog.  My breath is not being held on that one, though.  I expect to give him lots of hugs and belly rubs this weekend.  And couch snuggles.  As much as my mother hates the dog being on the couch.

 

Yea, stress can bork with weight, but I think eating like an asshole as of late has been a bigger issue.  This week at the office the snacks have been especially bad - for some reason we seemed to have foregone fruit and berries and seeds and straight to the cookies and chips category of snacks.  Normally I can wade myself out of a cookie by having a piece of fruit, but this week I've been grabbing crap left and right.  AND we had Easter candy left out.  I was just gorging myself on that crap.  And this weekend at my folks will be terrible.  Unless I plan really, really well.  And even then, that's gonna be hit or miss. (Though we do plan on having an Easter-ish dinner at a really nice seafood place that is my parent's favorite restaurant and that I've taken Company to.... and maybe used the food to taunt a particular Giant.)  Early weigh-in for my this morning was not looking too good.  Hoping the next day or two I can drop down a bit more.  Thinking of doing a fairly serious cut before my vacation, since it's been on my mind and I've been reading Waldo's Battle Log.  Quick estimates have my TDEE at 3090 calories per day for weight maintenance (~119,000 calories over six weeks, plus 10,500 calories for 3 pounds of weight lost - which is where it's looking like I'll be at the end of this challenge).  Since I'm therefore running a deficit of only ~250 calories per day (take note kids, this is why diet impacts your weight more than your exercise) through food and exercise, I want to greatly increase that gap.  If I buckle down tight, I should be able to do it.  I think it may involve having to buy a great deal of snacks myself, lots of lean meats and berries, and give myself a pre-set list of "allowed items in moderation."  Actually, Alton Brown did a Good Eats episode about his weight loss, and he had a method of items allowed per week.  Maybe I should do something similar (though his weight loss diet looks nothing like mine has historically - notably in that he eats a lot of fish and skipped the red meat a lot).  Anyway, plots and plans to tackle.

 

Vacation VERY SOON!  Thirteen days, to be exact.  Not that I'm counting.  Looking forward to actually flying to see Company rather than having her schlep up here for once.  And then a month after I get back I go to Japan!  ALL THE VACATION!

 

Yea, the Mat really has been my major destress area.  A good lift session can do wonders, but they are so early in the morning for me that I'm rarely annoyed to use that as fuel (I am the ultimate "let me sleep it off" guy.  A decent night's sleep and all is more-or-less forgiven with me).  But the end of the day?  I'm usually all bound up and anxious.  Keeping moving and fluid helps me get my mind off of things.  Some days it works better than others, but ultimately I always walk off the mat happy.

 

 

 

Also if you guys can't tell, I'm starting to feel better.  You can tell by the walls of text.  Only took most of this challenge.