RisenPhoenix Blah blah blahs

[Everstorm]

ALL THE VACATION!!!! ALL OF IT.

Seriously, you need one as much as anyone I know. Have a blast.

[Mistr]

Like, two people who read this will get this, but last night we did a lot of tricky/advanced/dark magic techniques.  I want to try and write down my interpretations for three of them so maybe I can come back one day and flesh them out.  They were weird enough that I can't imagine seeing them too frequently.  There were two that had 'actual' names (iriminage and kotegashi), but ultiamately those names mean little since the difference was the execution of the technique and not the 'end point' of the technique.  And given my inability to really translate these into anything meaningful beyond mental hints to myself.... uh... sorry guys.

 

Tsuki Iriminage - "The Superman waza" - Slight irimi with a small hip turn to avoid the punch.  Rear arm flies upwards at a ~45 degree angle to induce uke's head backwards and off center.  Stepping in slightly behind uke and straighten hips to take space and uke's center.  Action point is more in the hip contact and the taking of space rather than unbalancing at the neck.  Incredibly direct, and if done correctly uke essentially slips on the upraised flying arm and falls under it.  Need to be "Not nice" and actually get the head up and over, and keep the flying arm raised.

 

Tsuki Kotegaeshi - Yamada Sensei Kotegaeshi 

 

Tsuki kokyunage - "Don Quixote waza" 

 

 

And that's all I got.  Probably more helpful for me than anyone else.  But the mat.  One of the happiest places I can be.  (Also these were second class, where I was used a lot for demonstration.  First class I was tossed aside and told to work on my 2nd kyu exam with a shodan, a first kyu, and then eventually a 5th dan who made it to class.  Miles to go to polish that stuff to where I'd be comfortable with showing it off, but the basics I got pretty well.)

 

Hey, I totally get it.

 

I like that Tsuki iriminage. I usually think of it as "talk-to-the-hand" atemi. Nage takes the center line. Uke has to slide under it or get hit in the face. A couple times of not taking ukemi fast enough will teach a person to move out of the way. Not a technique for beginners. The style you describe sounds a little softer, with nage's arm going past uke's head and shoulder instead of straight towards the face. 

 

The tsuki kotegaeshi from Yamada sensei is not a style I've seen much. It makes sense. Redirect uke's punch in a tight vertical spiral and throw from the whole arm. I've been working on doing all my kotegaeshis as shoulder controls. Get uke stretched out and then run the torque all the way up the arm to the shoulder. Gentler on uke's wrists and much more effective.

 

I like your description of the Don Quixote throw. It looks so unlikely and works so well when done correctly. Good connection practice.

 

I hope life eases up on you. Or if not, that you get to go to lots of aikido classes and throw your friends around.

[sarakingdom]

I like that Tsuki iriminage. I usually think of it as "talk-to-the-hand" atemi. Nage takes the center line. Uke has to slide under it or get hit in the face. A couple times of not taking ukemi fast enough will teach a person to move out of the way. Not a technique for beginners. The style you describe sounds a little softer, with nage's arm going past uke's head and shoulder instead of straight towards the face.

 

I think our official way is softer, though we play around with the in-the-face way. The softer way, you've already got them a little torqued from the hip check, so they're arched slightly away from their center to make room for the nage, and going around the outside of the head to move the head a little closer to the nage (who's on a diagonal from the uke, behind that shoulder a bit) torques them out further away in the same direction.  (The arm can flow over their head, similar to the straight atemi in bar form rather than point form, or sometimes the head gets pulled close to the nage's chest to really arch the uke out.  Sort of a flowing hands-off, or a very hands-on.)  So the nage's on the center line, but really no part of the uke is anymore - instead of having two of their three tripod points under them (with the nage assuming the third behind them) when the force comes at their head, the uke is tilting out on a diagonal arc, with only one point of the tripod under them solidly, because their center of balance is not only behind them but off to the side.**

 

The fun bit, though, is it's one of those techniques you can do in a way where it's almost an embrace as much as a throw.  You can wrap your arm around their head very, very gently, and brush your arm over their head, and they come down as fast as if you did a hard atemi, because they're just spiralling away from their center of balance, and it only takes a small bit of control over the head to torque them out further - the weight of the arm or the suggestion of a pull closer to the nage are plenty.  So RP says you need to be "not nice" on this one, but it can also be done... deceptively affectionately.  If only you weren't trying to force them to the ground.

 

** Caveat: I am relatively junior and a little out of practice, and none of this might be right.  But I think it is.

[Kishi]

Yeah, those indulgences. You will miss them. Permit them while they are still permissible.

 

I have no idea what to tell you as far as diet goes. If I had any good insights, I'd probably have used them on myself by now. By and large, eating like an asshole means you're being an asshole to yourself, and that's just not productive, man. I'm honestly inclined to think that it might not be bad to just reset. You have a guesstimated TDEE, but it sounds like you don't actually know if you're expending that much energy or not. So... why not just eat at that rate for about a month or so, then take stock from there?

 

I mean, it doesn't sound fun, and it might set you further back then you like, but so what? You're not getting the progress you want now as it is anyway, so why not try a different direction?

 

Ah, vacation. Sounds like a good time. Enjoy!

 

Glad to hear that things are getting better.

[RisenPhoenix]

Hey, I totally get it.

 

I like that Tsuki iriminage. I usually think of it as "talk-to-the-hand" atemi. Nage takes the center line. Uke has to slide under it or get hit in the face. A couple times of not taking ukemi fast enough will teach a person to move out of the way. Not a technique for beginners. The style you describe sounds a little softer, with nage's arm going past uke's head and shoulder instead of straight towards the face. 

 

The tsuki kotegaeshi from Yamada sensei is not a style I've seen much. It makes sense. Redirect uke's punch in a tight vertical spiral and throw from the whole arm. I've been working on doing all my kotegaeshis as shoulder controls. Get uke stretched out and then run the torque all the way up the arm to the shoulder. Gentler on uke's wrists and much more effective.

 

I like your description of the Don Quixote throw. It looks so unlikely and works so well when done correctly. Good connection practice.

 

I hope life eases up on you. Or if not, that you get to go to lots of aikido classes and throw your friends around.

I think our official way is softer, though we play around with the in-the-face way. The softer way, you've already got them a little torqued from the hip check, so they're arched slightly away from their center to make room for the nage, and going around the outside of the head to move the head a little closer to the nage (who's on a diagonal from the uke, behind that shoulder a bit) torques them out further away in the same direction.  (The arm can flow over their head, similar to the straight atemi in bar form rather than point form, or sometimes the head gets pulled close to the nage's chest to really arch the uke out.  Sort of a flowing hands-off, or a very hands-on.)  So the nage's on the center line, but really no part of the uke is anymore - instead of having two of their three tripod points under them (with the nage assuming the third behind them) when the force comes at their head, the uke is tilting out on a diagonal arc, with only one point of the tripod under them solidly, because their center of balance is not only behind them but off to the side.**

 

The fun bit, though, is it's one of those techniques you can do in a way where it's almost an embrace as much as a throw.  You can wrap your arm around their head very, very gently, and brush your arm over their head, and they come down as fast as if you did a hard atemi, because they're just spiralling away from their center of balance, and it only takes a small bit of control over the head to torque them out further - the weight of the arm or the suggestion of a pull closer to the nage are plenty.  So RP says you need to be "not nice" on this one, but it can also be done... deceptively affectionately.  If only you weren't trying to force them to the ground.

 

** Caveat: I am relatively junior and a little out of practice, and none of this might be right.  But I think it is.

 

Oh look, the two people I said would get it got it.

 

Re: Kotegashi as shoulder control.  Really?  How?  I've always used the wrist as the rotation point, and transfer to the shoulder only after the pin.  I do rather enjoy really stretching people out, though.  My legs are longish, so I can really yoink people along pretty far the help unbalance them.  Though now that I think of it, I wonder if that's how one of the resident 5th dans does his Kotegaeshis.  Because his are just freaking amazing.

 

Re: "Don't Be Nice."  That was really a cue to myself, because my instructor literally walked up and said "I see you're problem.  You're too nice."  I was keeping the head arm too low (about collar bone level), just below the throat rather than raising it up more to the typical/correct iriminage position.  Partially because I'm always paranoid of clothes lining someone, and partially because I was worried my partner couldn't take a quick fall that quickly safely.  But ultimately I was proven wrong when I both managed to not clothesline him AND he didn't die.

 

I have no idea what to tell you as far as diet goes. If I had any good insights, I'd probably have used them on myself by now. By and large, eating like an asshole means you're being an asshole to yourself, and that's just not productive, man. I'm honestly inclined to think that it might not be bad to just reset. You have a guesstimated TDEE, but it sounds like you don't actually know if you're expending that much energy or not. So... why not just eat at that rate for about a month or so, then take stock from there?

 

I mean, it doesn't sound fun, and it might set you further back then you like, but so what? You're not getting the progress you want now as it is anyway, so why not try a different direction?

 

Ah, vacation. Sounds like a good time. Enjoy!

 

Glad to hear that things are getting better.

 

Honestly, I need to remember when I set this challenge up I knew it was going to be a "set up" challenge.  I wanted my TDEE experimentally, and this I think gave me a good idea.  I haven't really been super strict with my diet, I've been pretty consistent with my workouts, and I've made a few really interesting food choice discoveries.  And really, while the last few days have been sugar-heavy, they ultimately fell on days where my body needed the energy - Tuesday (Lifting + 2 hours aikdio) and Wednesday (Stairs + 1 hour aikdio).  So determining my TDEE is ~3100 calories a day (spread over a week, since Tuesdays and Wednesdays I definitely eat more) with my current activity level is actually really solid - because my estimated TDEE when doing absolutely nothing is ~2400 calories.  I'm essentially working my body and need to fuel it an extra 700 calories per day OVER my BMR.  That's a nice hefty rate.  But ultimately working out will only make me stronger, it won't give me the deficit in any large enough quantity to really warrant focusing on that.  It all comes back to what NF says - weight loss is 80% diet.  Yea, I could amp up a few more workouts, but how do you amp up an aikido class?  How do you amp up Stadium sprints?  Or Lifting?  The answer is more, but at the moment the only way to up that energy expenditure is more volume, which I don't have the time for.  But that's okay.  A few solid and committed food shifts and I can keep my intake for a bit at ~2300 calories per day and still be solidly fed.  Maybe a bit grumbly.  But solidly fed.

 

As for not getting the progress I like.... I was reading one of the success story threads over at MFP's forums.  The guy went from 315# to 195# and a six pack.  Doing it the RIGHT way.  Lifting.  Solid diet understandings (ice cream gainz and bacon, people).  Patience.  And one thing he talked about in the thread is this:  when people say they are not seeing results, they typically say "I was losing 2 pounds a week.  Over the last month I only lost 4 pounds.  I've stopped seeing results."  And his reply was this:  You are seeing results.  They just aren't as fast as you would like. 

 

And it's true.  I am seeing results.  In 6 week I'm looking at about 3 pounds lost.  And my gut has definitely shrunk back down to ~37.5".  So I've lost 3 pounds and half an inch - and I wouldn't be terribly surprised if when I visit Company she mentions some other physical trait I don't think about as filling out or becoming more defined.  Do I want more?  Hell yes.  I just need to refocus on a few things.  Like not eating cookies at work.  Or bags of trail mix.  Or gallons of salt.  I did it before, I can do it again.  The real challenge for me I think will be how to do the cut and keep performing fairly steady.  Which means I need to think a lot more about pre-workout and post-workout fuel.  Which is something I've never really thought much about, particularly the pre-workout meal (which really influences aikido more than the lifting or Stairs).  So.  I have plans.  Big, big plans.  Just a matter of accepting that life changes and goals sometimes need to be reborn.

 

And yes.  Vacation will be amazing and definitely needed.

 

 

 

 

And for those of you at home wondering about the Puppeh, apparently my parents are putting him on an anti-inflammatory drug that has been shown to impede this cancer in dogs, and give him 4 chemo treatments.  Because surgery was crazy expensive and couldn't guarantee anything anyway.  So we shall see.

[RisenPhoenix]

Alrighty then.  This challenge is more or less wrapping up for me.  I did my weigh in this morning (instead of tomorrow afternoon like I normally would) because with being at my parent's place this weekend, everything will be way too tough to track.  And I'm likely to eat a lot of crap.  Cutting corners?  Maybe.  But I think my early math stands pretty solidly, since I would likely get down to 217 even in another 2 days anyway.  So.

 

Final Weigh in: 220# --> 217.2#

Stomach measurement: 38.8" --> 37.25"

 

Now.  Couple a things I want to ruminate on, since I had my freakouts not too long ago.

 

Losing three pounds over six weeks, while not ideal for what I would like, is still pretty damned good.  I mean, seriously.  That's about a 1% decrease in my weight over 6 weeks where I wasn't really actively trying to cut calories.  I mean, restrain myself a bit, yea, but not really my usual go-to "I will eat X amount of calories this challenge" challenge.  With a relatively small amount of tweaking I can increase my daily deficit to ~500 calories per day or more, and then hopefully lose even more and get back to where I was previously.

 

But a crazier number, now that I'm looking at my before and after measurements, is my gut.  Holy hell people, I apparently lost an inch and half.  Around my stomach. 

 

Now, I bloat up pretty damn easy, but this is a big deal for me.  I haven't measured my gut this actively in a while.  Last July I was at 36".  I want to get back to that.  Or lower.  But a 36" gut means I'm looking at roughly an 18% body fat calculation.  A little lower would be better, but I'll cross that bridge soon enough.  Really, I want to get down that low so I can seriously think about bulking.  I think I'm at a point where that is a viable - and wise - decision.  Because a bulk would help both my strength training and likely my physique.  And dammit, I want to look better nekkid.

 

*Ahem*

 

Anyway.  I think I'm going to do a fairly steep cut the week and a half before my vacation to go see Company.  She and I agreed we'll do steep cuts for the week and a half, and then not worry about the vacation.  At the very least, losing a bit of weight before the vacation where I'll likely gain it back is okay in my mind.  But the steep cut attempt will let me see if my math was correct - if I aim for ~2500 calories per day, I should lose a pound in a week.  So I think easy days (single workout days and rest days) I can get away with more likely 2300 calories.  My super heavy workout days likely will need more fuel.  I'm just going to need to be super strict with myself, which I haven't really done in a long, long time.  Probably will make a "weekly" allowed list and then see if I can carry it through to the next challenge.

 

Which, uh, might be with the Warriors.

 

 

 

DON'T HATE ME.

 

I'm not quite sure yet.  But it's a distinct possibility.

[sarakingdom]

Which, uh, might be with the Warriors.

 

[SevenFootGeek]

Which, uh, might be with the Warriors.

 

 

 

DON'T HATE ME.

 

I'm not quite sure yet.  But it's a distinct possibility.

 

 

I already did.  You may need to be upgraded to loathed.

[catspaw]

Which, uh, might be with the Warriors.

Ugh, I hate the warriors. Buncha meatheads. >.>

[Kishi]

Ah.

 

I see.

 

So that's how it is.

 

No, no, no. I understand. I know how it is. You have to go off and do what you gotta do. I get it. Wish you the best if you do it.

 

...

 

Oh, what? What's that? You wanna know why I'm sharpening a sword and swinging it aggressively?

 

 

Aw, dude. I just want some watermelon.

 

Nothing to read into there at all.

[Teirin]

:-)  It's a logical next step.  It's also not like you're completely abandoning us.  Right?  RIGHT?

 

I cannot trump the theatricality of the above posts. 

 

Good perspective on the last 6 weeks.  You are doing awesome and you know very well that the scale lies.  You're making more progress than it says.  Though knowing it and feeling it are two different things.  A cut before vacation and then not worrying about anything while on vacation sounds like a good way to balance things.  You two make very good plans :-) 

[RisenPhoenix]

 

 

I already did.  You may need to be upgraded to loathed.

 

Lies.  I got a lovely card (and maple sugar crack) from you and your wife and she was kind enough to translate your emotionally constipated message to me.

 

Ugh, I hate the warriors. Buncha meatheads. >.>

 

 

Ah.

 

I see.

 

So that's how it is.

 

No, no, no. I understand. I know how it is. You have to go off and do what you gotta do. I get it. Wish you the best if you do it.

 

...

 

Oh, what? What's that? You wanna know why I'm sharpening a sword and swinging it aggressively?

 

 

Aw, dude. I just want some watermelon.

 

Nothing to read into there at all.

 

Awww man.  You should really have some cactus juice.

 

 

 

:-)  It's a logical next step.  It's also not like you're completely abandoning us.  Right?  RIGHT?

 

I cannot trump the theatricality of the above posts. 

 

Good perspective on the last 6 weeks.  You are doing awesome and you know very well that the scale lies.  You're making more progress than it says.  Though knowing it and feeling it are two different things.  A cut before vacation and then not worrying about anything while on vacation sounds like a good way to balance things.  You two make very good plans :-) 

 

How could I abandon you guys!  I, uh, might also be plotting to have a monk-talk thread in here.  Because a Guild Leader can break bend the rules (Rulebending?) and have challenges going in two Guilds, right?  >.> <.<

 

 

Also, fun story guys.  I'm injured.  I don't know how, but I'm injured.  I'm having massive amounts of swelling just above my right knee to the posterior section of leg.  Like, right where my hamstring connects to my knee.  Weird parts?  It just suddenly showed up.  There is no pain.  There is no impact to my mobility.  It's just..... there.  Maybe a bit throbby now and again.  Been icing it and soaking in a hot tub, but doing my best to not do anything on it.  Easy when I'm here at my parent's place.  Harder when I get home tonight.  Noticed this Friday morning at the gym (hence me knowing it doesn't really effect mobility), and it's slowly going down, but if it's not much better by tomorrow I need to get it looked at.  Between my trip next week and Japan in a month, knee issues are not kosher.

 

And in other news, my/my parent's dog is adorable, but totally a lumpy cancer-face.  I'll throw some pictures up when I get home, because even with a lumpy face he's adorable.  And spoiled.  Dear gods is this dog spoiled...

[Teirin]

Again?!  Good grief.  You might want to get it checked out anyway, if you can.

 

No pullups on the rafters this time?

 

Nothing wrong with spoiling him :-)  Hope you got lots of couch snuggles in.

[RisenPhoenix]

Again?!  Good grief.  You might want to get it checked out anyway, if you can.

 

I KNOW.

 

What bothers me more about this one is all of my previous injuries had very evident points where I could look back and go "Yea, I did XYZ and it's caused my issues here."  This one literally appeared over night.  And more confusingly, it showed up in Thursday night (you know, my rest day where all I did was lounge around and eat).  And like I said.  It hasn't really bothered me.  Little tight right now after hiking in the parent's back woods (uh, totally restful hike, yea, suuuuure), but that's really it.  I don't get it.

 

I'll wait and rest a few days (HOW AM I GOING TO STAY CALM WITH NOTHING TO DO?), and if it's not better by Wednesday I'll get a doctor to look at it.  Um.  I just need to find a doctor...

[pwallace]

I'll wait and rest a few days (HOW AM I GOING TO STAY CALM WITH NOTHING TO DO?), and if it's not better by Wednesday I'll get a doctor to look at it. Um. I just need to find a doctor...

1) that is why they invented video games, if you have xbox live add me and we shall game

2) found this guy out in the rain waiting for you

[sarakingdom]

found this guy out in the rain waiting for you

 

[pwallace]

Sent from my phone, through the banging of weights, to the chimp translators aboard the tardis powered by the dylithiam crystal flux capacitor.

[TeaKwonDo]

Happy last day of challenge! Hope your knee is doing better, fingers crossed.

[sarakingdom]

[BlackTezca]

My goodness!  So much has happened in this thread and I feel just so lost!

 

I'm sorry I missed it!  From what I read, you really deserve your vacation!  I mean seriously!  Also, I would love to see pictures of the spoiled poochy, though I also really hope all goes as well as possible for him...poor thing .

 

Also...I...I thought...I just joined the monks and you're...you're leaving? I...I thought we were friends..

 

 

Nah, just playing!  If you wanna focus on lifting and strength training, I'm sure those crazy meatheads will help you out .

 

Also!  I HOPE YOU GETTER!!!  That sucks that you got injured!  Definitely rest up and I hope the doctor is able to help..this...that's their job and all .

[Mistr]

Congratulations on losing 3 pounds and >1.5 inches!  As someone who did not lose at all this challenge, I would love to have your results.

 

You have had good results with moderate cuts before. I think your plan to be strict for a couple weeks then not worry during your vacation is a good approach. I'll bet you and Company will be active enough to burn off those extra calories.

 

To do the kotegaeshi: Instead of pushing the back of the hand towards the wrist, gently pull on the wrist and twist (using the standard hand grip) so that the twist catches the elbow, then the shoulder. Practice from static with a friend. Watch to see where your friend moves (or just ask for feedback). You should feel a connection from your hip through your hand, up uke's arm and past uke's shoulder to her center.

[Shotokan]

Wow! An inch and a half off your waist is awesome!! Good job!!!

[sarakingdom]

To do the kotegaeshi: Instead of pushing the back of the hand towards the wrist, gently pull on the wrist and twist (using the standard hand grip) so that the twist catches the elbow, then the shoulder. Practice from static with a friend. Watch to see where your friend moves (or just ask for feedback). You should feel a connection from your hip through your hand, up uke's arm and past uke's shoulder to her center.

 

Yeah, I think of the twist on the forearm in kotegaeshi as the grip, it's what gives you control to twist the rest of the arm, but the shoulder is the actual pivot for the fall.  It's sort of a move where you're taking all the slack out of the uke's joints one by one, till you get to the shoulder and they fall.  Like you say, get them stretched out, then have the torque start at the forearm and work back to the shoulder.

 

Tsuki kotegaeshi is... let's see.  There is the intial irimi and the atemi with the arm closest to the uke, then an immediate tenkan, sticking very close to the uke, as you grab the wrist with the outside hand, so when you've turned it's the hand next to them gripping the forearm/wrist. There's no pulling the hand back, it's all torque, so their forearm is twisting out towards you.   (You reach over with the outside hand and grab their inner wrist/forearm as you start to turn tenkan, which turns the inner forearm out to you when you straighten out.)  As you finish the tenkan, pull that hand down towards the floor - you're taking their forwards momentum and using it to pull them forward and down, to take their balance, often with a little extra forward pull to make them fall slightly forwards - and sweep their hand out away from their body as you come up, sort of along your center line, pulling it back towards you.  (After the tenkan, you're sort of alongside, just by or behind their shoulder.)  Their arm is fully extended, you've got some torque on their forearm, then elbow becomes locked, because it's a two-direction joint and can't deal with that diagonal side-sweep and the twist being put on the forearm, and when you hit the limit of the shoulder to handle backwards motion, you've taken all the slack out of their arm and they fall when you apply downward pressure to the wrist.

 

I was going to say that's not very like what RP described, but I think actually it is very, very similar, and I was just confused.  I didn't recognize the second irimi you mentioned RP, but you said that wasn't part of this technique anyway.  IIRC, we don't drive the uke's hand into their face on this one, but keep it under control by having it closer to our center line and nowhere near theirs - at any point, I should be able to put downward force on their arm from my center of balance, with their arm out as a lever - and it's not uncommon to sweep the hand actually fairly far from them, sort of in a circle away from their body, pulling them off balance.  It's probably more official to stay close - that's generally preferred in my style, to stay very close to the uke.

[Kyellan]

Hope your knee feels better... that's a weird and random injury, but I've had days like that too... minding my own business and suddenly "WTF?"

 

Also, regarding the Kung Fu tournament on May 3rd, I had the school right but it turns out they are moving to a new facility LITERALLY the day before. Still in Cambridge, though. Their new address is 180 Fawcett Street in Cambridge, MA. Here's their competitions page: http://www.wudaokungfu.com/workshops/competitions.php. If you can drop by, it would be pretty cool!

 

Good luck with the Warriors--you shall return to us stronger than you left! =)

[RisenPhoenix]

Thanks, everyone!  Got a doctor's appointment on Thursday, and that'll determine where I go.  If he nixes lifting for solid reasons (as in he has an actual diagnosis that is "lifting will injure you severely" as opposed to "Just stop doing everything you normally do") then I'll likely do my challenge with the Monks.  If no issues arise and I can lift with little issue, I'm going to go over to the Warriors.  Either way next challenge will be short for me.  The back half of the first week I'm on vacation with Company.  Last half week I'll be in Japan.  So, we shall see.  Might even skip a challenge this time just to not worry about it and get some ducks in a row instead.  We shall see.

 

Also, the requested Cancer Dog photo:

 

That lump on the right side of the dog's snout (kinda hard to see) is the cancer in question.  But the fella was happy to see me.  And allowed me to take the photo. (My brother complains that the dog lets me engulf him and do things like this, while the dog whines and complains if my brother tries the same.)  The dog has already had one chemo treatment, and his drugs should be arriving soon.  Also I thought the dog couldn't get any more spoiled, but I was so, so wrong.

 

And while we are talking about lumps:

 

Yea, that bump on my right leg just above and to the side of my knee?  It should not bump.  That's what I'm getting checked out on Thursday.  Really wish I had a better story to tell the doctor besides "My body shouldn't have that there but otherwise it's not impeding me too much."

 

Ah well.