Bearlee Dreaming

[Bearlee]

My name is Bearlee and I've been trying to lose weight and become more healthier for a little over a year now. During that time I've lost nearly 80 pounds to go from 388 lbs to 310 lbs. I've also recently had a physical and my blood pressure has gone down from 123/92 to 111/62. I'm still waiting on my blood work lab results but will post them when I get them.

 

So far this year I've been kicking ass and I've lost 10 pounds so far. More importantly I've gotten back into my grove of doing my exercises and eating right. Currently I'm doing body weight exercises 3 times per week, stationary biking 5 days a week, and walking 5+ miles with 10 flights of stairs 5 days per week. Actually I currently have a 22 day streak of biking going on, but I'm focused on getting at least 5 days in per week.

 

My eating habits have been good last challenge also. I've been doing 1 lean protein, 1 fruit, and 4 vegetables 5 days of the week. On this also I have a streak that lasted all of last challenge minus a few days last week missing a few servings of vegetables. I also drink 100 oz of water everyday and have a streak of that going for several months now.

 

Even though I've been doing well I've been feeling restless. I read lots by people like Steve Kamb (founder of Nerd Fitness), Chris Guillebeau (author of The Art of Non-Conformity), Matt Harding (of Where the Hell is Matt YouTube videos), and Kevin Smith (director, podcaster, and author of Tough Shit ) and they all say follow your dreams. The problem is I don't know what my dreams are. Last week for work we had go to a class and at the beginning of class we had to do introductions and state what our hobbies were. All I could come up with was movies and reading. While there is nothing wrong with those hobbies I want to do something more substantial and productive. So during this challenge I want to focus on what it is I want to do and how I'm going to do it.

 

Goal 1: Maintain I've been kicking butt this year and I don't want to tinker with what I've got going on now. So I want to maintain what I've been doing by doing 3 BW exercises per week, 5 days of biking, 5 days of walking, along with my eating habits.

 

Goal 2: Lists Last challenge I had started to do lists and I was getting a lot done. However as the challenge went on I stopped looking at my list and instead of writing done tasks I wanted to do or did I instead just made a mental note. That was not as effective nor as satisfying. So this challenge I want to make a physical list I keep up to date with. Ideally I would like to do one item on my list everyday. The tasks don't need to be large or difficult just something to keep me focused. At the same time I don't want it to be things that should be done anyway like "do the dishes" or "do the laundry". I want it to be items that I've put off.

 

Goal 3: Attitude of Gratitude I've been meaning to getting around to thanking people for things they have done or even just to send a nice thank you out of the blue to people I care about. So for this goal I want to send a special thank you to one person each week for a total of 6 people thanked. No texts or emails will be acceptable. Actual hand written letters to be delivered by mail.

 

Lifetime Goal: Dreaming This challenge I want to do something a little different and maybe some would say weird. I want to focus on dreaming. I've always been concerned that I don't seem to dream when I sleep which may be true since I used to have sleep apnea. However I sleep better now and over the past couple of weeks  I've actually had a couple of dreams and they really put me in a good mood. I want to capture that feeling more and maybe explore what is happening in my subconscious. Maybe I can sort my dreams out by dreaming. In order to do this I'm going to keep a dream journal beside my bed and update it whenever I have a dream. But in case I don't have dreams I'm going to supplement this challenge by meditating for 5 minutes 5 days of the week.

[Sloth the Enduring]

I thought I'd find yoga in here, or is that part of your BW exercises?

 

Looks good, keep on keeping on my man.

 

In the spirit of gratitude, thanks for pushing my lazy ass along.

[Shello]

Hi.  Sorry about flaking out at the end of last challenge.  Looks like you did marvelously though.  I'm subbing for some dream weaving.  

[Sloth the Enduring]

www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZKuzwPOefs

[Shello]

That's exactly what I was thinking.

 

Although I find that video a little disturbing.  Is it just me?

[Bearlee]

Hi.  Sorry about flaking out at the end of last challenge.  Looks like you did marvelously though.  I'm subbing for some dream weaving.  

 

Thought I was going to have to join U.N.I.T. or Torchwood to track you and the Doctor down. Wasn't too worried though, you were killing last challenge.

 

 

www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZKuzwPOefs

 

That's exactly what I was thinking.

 

Although I find that video a little disturbing.  Is it just me?

 

Was trying to find a clip of Dreamweaver from Wayne's World. Didn't find it though.

 

Work has been making it difficult on me for the past two weeks. Last week the changed my schedule so I could go to classes during the day and I also had a couple of doctors appointments. This week had my schedule changed again so I could go to another daytime class. I've really been lacking in sleep on weekdays but I've been determined to make things work.

 

Sunday this week was unusual for me because I got 5 miles of walking in. Today, Tuesday, was the day my schedule got changed and I started to think "I got a 5 mile day in on Sunday so I can slack today and still get my five days of 5+ miles". Then started to kick myself for such thinking and manned up and got my five miles in. Fortunately the day I had off was not an exercise day so I can still get my 3 days of exercise in for the week. I've got streaks to maintain! So current streaks are 5 days of walking 5+ miles each week since at least the beginning of the year (actually think since before even Thanksgiving), BW exercises 3 or more times every week since the beginning of the year, and 26 consecutive days of biking.

 

With the biking I set a new record on Monday by doing 6.6 miles in 30 minutes. My usual is 6.0 miles. Think the reason I do better on Mondays is because that is the day the new episodes of Yowamushi Pedal comes out. A biking anime to get me pedaling faster. Here is the opening for season 2:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQjW-U74GwU

 

I've been having fun with my Lifetime Quest also. I did 5 minutes of meditating on Monday and couldn't believe how fast the time flew by. I didn't have any dreams on Monday though. Tuesday I haven't meditated yet but I did have two dreams! The first one I didn't journal very well because I woke up in the middle of the night and didn't want to wake myself up to be too detailed. The second I journaled better since it was the time I was suppose to wake up. I felt very happy after both of my dreams and that has carried over into my attitude during the day. Haven't gained any insight but was just glad to actually have a dream. Looking forward to more this challenge.

[Taijibum]

Lifetime Goal: Dreaming This challenge I want to do something a little different and maybe some would say weird. I want to focus on dreaming. I've always been concerned that I don't seem to dream when I sleep which may be true since I used to have sleep apnea. However I sleep better now and over the past couple of weeks  I've actually had a couple of dreams and they really put me in a good mood. I want to capture that feeling more and maybe explore what is happening in my subconscious. Maybe I can sort my dreams out by dreaming. In order to do this I'm going to keep a dream journal beside my bed and update it whenever I have a dream. But in case I don't have dreams I'm going to supplement this challenge by meditating for 5 minutes 5 days of the week.

Lots of good dreaming resources out there, especially on lucid dreaming. Castaneda is my favorite, but all the "Toltec" stuff is pretty good. I'm sure a quick google search will net you some great stuff.

[Bearlee]

Lots of good dreaming resources out there, especially on lucid dreaming. Castaneda is my favorite, but all the "Toltec" stuff is pretty good. I'm sure a quick google search will net you some great stuff.

Thanks for the advice. Part of the reason I thought about doing this challenge is an article I read on Facebook from The Mind Unleashed. It was an article about lucid dreaming but for now I would be happy with just having dreams. Once I get that down I will explore going into lucid dreaming.

Speaking of dreaming I have been having fun with that. This week I've had three dreams that I can recall. The odd thing is that they are all juvenal based dreams. First one I was a character in a video game me and the kid have been playing. Second was a field trip to a sad zoo/petting zoo with my kids teacher as the group leader (Steve Kamb made an appearance as a condor wrangler). In the third I was a middle school/ high school student in chemistry class. Perhaps in another couple of weeks I'll get up to my own age.

[Bearlee]

Tuesday was a rough day for me. Only got 1.5 hours of sleep in and had to work 16 hours. 8 hours of class time and 8 hours of regular work. Class was not that helpful to the work I do, a fall protection class. Was demoralizing because we were suppose to wear harnesses for the training and mine would not fit and they are only rated for 310 lbs total including tools. Well I'm 310 lbs without clothes or tools so the harness won't do me any good anyways. Just goes to show how much further I have to go.

The regular work was something I don't like to do. I had to get on top of a locomotive to change out an antenna. Strange coincident that the same day I take a fall protection class that I need to use fall protection. Fortunately I got to use what we call conventional fall protection which is a large mobile scaffolding that provides stairs and hand rails to allow you to walk up to the top and protect you from falling off. Should have been a 15 minute job, but since the bolts were rusted on it turned into a big ordeal. 4 hours later and climbing on top of the locomotive 12 times I finished it with a lot of help from a metal worker (okay he did most of the work of grinding, drilling, and tapping).

So only 1.5 hours of sleep, boring class, and over complicated job that took up a lot of time. I was about ready to plunk down and call it quits. But for some reason I got up and did my BW exercises and got some walking in. Figured I got half of my walking in during the inefficient repair job and all of my stair climbing. Wasn't the best workout I've ever done but it did get done. Went home, passed out, got up and did my biking. I'm now back to my normal schedule. Thankfully today is a rest day because I'm still out of sorts but think I can finish the week out strong.

[Shello]

Tuesday was a rough day for me. Only got 1.5 hours of sleep in and had to work 16 hours. 8 hours of class time and 8 hours of regular work. Class was not that helpful to the work I do, a fall protection class. Was demoralizing because we were suppose to wear harnesses for the training and mine would not fit and they are only rated for 310 lbs total including tools. Well I'm 310 lbs without clothes or tools so the harness won't do me any good anyways. Just goes to show how much further I have to go close I am and how far I've come so far.

 

well there, fixed that for you.  Considering your starting point and you are only the weight of tools and clothes away from harness safety I'd say I would focus on the positive.  What would that training had been like back at the beginning before you lost anything?  You have given anything to be where you are now.  

 

And kudos for still getting some BW exercises.  That takes strength.  

[Bearlee]

well there, fixed that for you.  Considering your starting point and you are only the weight of tools and clothes away from harness safety I'd say I would focus on the positive.  What would that training had been like back at the beginning before you lost anything?  You have given anything to be where you are now.  

 

And kudos for still getting some BW exercises.  That takes strength.

Thanks for the edit. That's the mindset I try to have but sometimes you get caught off guard.

Forgot to mention last week I'VE WALKED OVER 1000 MILES SINCE JUNE 3. I've also been doing well physically this week. I've gotten 6/5 days of walking 5+ miles per day in, 3/3 days of BW exercises, and my biking streak is up to 28 days.

My eating however has taken a drastic turn for the worse. For some reason on Sunday I bought a 5 inch cube piece of cake and ate it all in one sitting and ever since I've been having some kind of bad carb or another every day. Tuesday while at class for work I ate half a large pizza, Thursday was 2 raspberry filled bismarks with a 20 oz cup of latte, and today has been another 20 latte with 2 large white chocolate macadamia nut cookies. On top of all that I've been stealing a lot of my kid's chips. The result so far, up at least 4 pounds. Not a good way to start off a new challenge.

Time to turn it around and make sure I have another positive loss for this challenge. I'll shoot for the same as I did last challenge which is two pounds. That will put me at the lowest I've been so far in a long time. The last challenge put me back to where I was at right at Halloween so any more now will be new territory.

[Sloth the Enduring]

You've built your exercise habit; I think that's the most important one. Now on to the food habits. I'll suggest picking one thing to change - drinking calories, eating sweets, eating fried starches, ???- and tell yourself, "I don't eat X". Which is a different mindset from I can't eat X or I'm on a diet. Make substitutions if you need to; I drink plain ice tea instead of soda for example. Just one type of food at a time is easier and more likely to bring about a permanent change.

Gretchen Rubin has some short videos on habit change that I think you'd like. I'd link a couple, but I'm on my phone.

[Bearlee]

You've built your exercise habit; I think that's the most important one. Now on to the food habits. I'll suggest picking one thing to change - drinking calories, eating sweets, eating fried starches, ???- and tell yourself, "I don't eat X". Which is a different mindset from I can't eat X or I'm on a diet. Make substitutions if you need to; I drink plain ice tea instead of soda for example. Just one type of food at a time is easier and more likely to bring about a permanent change.

Gretchen Rubin has some short videos on habit change that I think you'd like. I'd link a couple, but I'm on my phone.

 

Thanks for the advice. It's about the same thing that habit blogger James Clear says. Nice to get a reminder though because I've forgotten about that technique which really helped me when I began. I think a combination of lack of sleep and cold weather is partially responsible for this break. And when the dam broke it really broke. Did better today. Was thinking about stopping at a place called Small Cakes to get a couple of cupcakes. I decided however that I didn't want them and passed it by.

 

I was excited today because I got a call from the doctor's office and they said my test results look "perfect". What does that mean? So asked for a copy of my lab results and that is what it says on the paper perfect. I was dissapointed in the lab report though because it didn't have the test results that I really wanted namely LDL, HDL, VLDL, and triglycerides. Do I have to ask for these tests when I'm getting a physical done? I got them last year. Perhaps this will give me the opportunity to find a new doctor and doctor's office and get my blood tested again.

[The Most Loathed]

...- and tell yourself, "I don't eat X"...

I've had luck with this. When cravings really hang on I've tried thinking of really gross thing when the craving hits. For example, if I think a soda sounds really good, consciously thinking of the flavor of the soda but thinking about how disgusting and unnatural it tastes. There's probably something wrong with me, but it works.

 

...Do I have to ask for these tests when I'm getting a physical done? I got them last year. Perhaps this will give me the opportunity to find a new doctor and doctor's office and get my blood tested again.

Your insurance likely won't pay for you to get new tests, I don't recall what basic blood labs cost for cash payment. Your doctor's office is legally require via HIPAA to provide a full copy of your records within, I think, two weeks if you ask. The two weeks may be wrong but they requirement is right. I'd ask again and be specific. Depending on your doc's idea of info security you may be able to just call and ask a nurse or you may have to show up and present and ID .

[Bearlee]

Rough week for me this week. Dentist appointments and other things have really chopped into my sleep time this week. I've only been getting 4.5 to 5.5 hours of sleep on average this week. Plus the weather has sucked. Tired and cold is not optimal for doing well. February 1st was hard also because I did my monthly measurements and they were less than ideal. 1 pound lost for the month and no changes in measurements. Very little change in measurements since Halloween . So for that day had a mental break and just wanted to walk away. Then I remembered this scene from The Matrix.

 

 

I know where that road leads to, me at 380+ pounds and unhappy. So after a day of self pity I finally got my head right. Thanks mostly to all of your guys threads. Seeing TML's consistency and KB Girl's post on his thread. Sloth doing his thing and getting remotivated. LadyShello killing it on her thread. Plus others I've been browsing.

 

I also had a bit of a scare on Tuesday. After eating an eclair and piece of strawberry shortcake my hands turned red and my finger joints stiffened up. Made me wonder if maybe I have celiac's disease. I have been eating too much carbs lately and it hasn't been making me feel well. I have some of the symptoms but one I don't have is weight loss. So not sure. But it is a good excuse for me to cut back on carbs.

 

Wednesday night I got an extra boost from watching the Nerd Fitness Academy's Q&A. Love how Steve and Staci can always make people feel great. I even got up the courage to ask Steve a question.

[The Most Loathed]

It sucks when life gets in the way. Keep practicing the habit of moving and eating better even if it's just little bits at a time.

[Shello]

Glad you decided on the right path.  It's not an easy path for sure but we're all in it together.  

[Bearlee]

I've done a complete 180 from where I was Monday. But think it was good to have that setback to take a closer look at what I'm doing. I've decided not to cut out all carbs but to try to cut as much gluten as I can. It has really helped me think about what I'm eating. I've gotten a lot more fruits and vegetables in this week.

 

I checked out a website that Steve mentioned during his Q&A called Gold Medal Bodies. It might be a little advanced for me but it has given me some ideas. I also like this picture:

 

Here is their website: http://gmb.io/

 

It got me to thinking about having more fun and just move. I just got back in from playing outside with my kid blowing and chasing bubbles. It was fun running, jumping, and squatting to reach and pop bubbles.

 

I've also got my biking streak up to 37 consecutive days.

[Bearlee]

Was going to post this earlier but I got bummed out. But I'll do it now. It's my log for biking from the month of February.

 

[The Most Loathed]

GMB is a great resource and I really love the attitude of the guys on that site. They do a monthly challenge where there will send you a video of a movement each day for a month. Elastigirl and I both did it. My programming is so set that it didn't do a lot of good for me but as I recall she really enjoyed and benefitted from it.

[Bearlee]

So not a great challenge for me so far. Haven't done anything for a list yet. And in the first two weeks I haven't done a single thank you letter to anyone. I have the cards and the stationary to do it, just haven't done it yet. My maintenance has also been so so. I waffled on workouts last week but have managed to continue with the walking and biking so not a total loss. Oddly the setback has also given me the chance to re-evaluate what I'm doing.

Finding the Gold Medal Bodies and thinking about play as exercise has really helped me the past couple days. Me and the kid have been playing with bubbles outside and we've actually racked up quite a few steps. Sunday I actually got close enough to 5 miles that I dedicated myself to get the last 2,000 steps to meet that goal. So I should be 6/5 this week for walking. Also the kid and I have been doing a new game where he takes his toys to the top of the stairs and races them to the bottom. Got 15+ flights of stairs in that way.

The one thing I've been doing well and have been having fun at is my lifetime quest of dreaming. Everyday except for two I've had dreams. That is more than I can remember having in my entire lifetime. And they're so fun. It's surprising how little odd bits manifest themselves into dreams. One example is when I took my kid to his speech therapy I asked the office clerks why there were so many people at the school the night before. They told me that there was a math-a-lon and that their school got first in one category and second in all the others. So the following day in my dream I dreamt about the olympics and the team I was competing against got 1 gold medal and 7 silvers and I got 2 gold medals and 6 silvers. Don't know why I dreamt I got more gold than the other team but that's part of the fun. I should maybe try to move on to lucid dreaming but I'm happy where I'm at now and will try it for the next challenge.

[Sloth the Enduring]

It actually sounds like your exercise is going pretty well, basic movement every day is the most important thing.  Everything else is details.

 

There's a soundtrack available for your dreams.

[Bearlee]

So I've been trying to focus more on my diet and it seems to be working. My weight is finally moving in the direction I want it too. I've actually been trying out some new recipes I've found also, some with success and other with mixed results. First item I tried was sweet potato chips. I didn't have a mandolin in which to slice the potato and instead tried using a peeler with okay results towards the ends of the potato but had too large of a diameter to pass through the peeler, plus almost took off the tip of a finger nail with the peeler. The parts that were sliced uniformly turned out nice, the thicker ones were cooked but not crisp. I'll have to try it again after I get a mandolin so I can have uniform cuts. Until then I found a recipe for sweet potato wedges that I want to try next.

I also tried a high protein rice pudding that I liked. It involves using one cup cooked brown rice with a scoop of protein powder, 1Tbsp of coco powder and 2 Tbsp of almond milk. Was a little thick and maybe needed another Tbsp or two of milk but I really liked the taste.

Third new recipe I tried was a protein pudding. 1 cup low fat cottage cheese with 1 scoop protein powder and 1/4 cup almond milk. I liked this one also but was too runny so maybe next time I'll stick it in the freezer for a while to see if it hards up some.

I've been moving a lot. I've been getting my 5+ miles in every day so far this week, so should be 6/5 this week. I've also got my biking streak up to 40 days. I got PR up today to 6.8 miles in 30 minutes while watching the newest episode of Yowamushi Pedal anime. And with my kids new favorite activity of racing toys down the stairs my flight of stairs climbed has doubled or more, so I've gone from 10 to 20+ every day. I haven't been getting the strength training in and I don't know how I feel about that. I feel good and my weight is going in the right direction so perhaps maintain this until I need to make a change again?

Warm weather and sleep has also really helped me this week. I've been trying to get the kid outside everyday to enjoy the sunshine. He got to play with bubbles with the neighbors kids and we've done it a couple of other times since. We've even been playing chase the leader or doing sprints in the front yard. Somehow he always keeps winning . It's probably only 50 feet or so, but do it several times in a row and I get gassed.

I've been debating about an event I want to go to. It's called Planet Comicon and it's held in downtown KC. I think I would like it but don't know how the kid would handle it. But the thing that gives me more reserve is that I hate driving in traffic and always worry about parking. Sad that a person that wants to travel gets hung up on things like that. Sometimes it hard for me to get over these mental blocks.

[Sloth the Enduring]

"I haven't been getting the strength training in." Sounds like you don't want to win our PVP anymore.

Seriously though, do what you enjoy and can make a habit of. There's no shame in being a cardio bunny or even a Yogi.

I've never been to a con, I don't know how kid friendly they are. But whenever I start talking myself out of a new experience like that, I try to take it as a sign that it's time to man up and do something new.

[Shello]

That's sort of the point of challenges - to find the right combination of goals that work for you.  It seems like you are still being really active and keeping the kid involved.  All good things.  keep it up.  

 

I say give Planet Comicon a chance.  You can always leave early if it doesn't suit you.