Monk taunted a pig now she has bacon.

[monk]

So today is the first day of the rest of my -I hate that quote.

So I learned a lot from my previous challenge. I learned that maybe just maybe, I wasn't eating enough. It's still funny, I think, that I can't just stop eating completely and the fat go away. It almost feels logical- food = fat so less food = no fat. But the science behind it makes that completely false. I started eating more to lose weight, I started walking and continuing my body weight workouts. The ONLY thing I changed was the started walking and the amount of calories I consumed. I went from 267 to 261. I had energy up the wazoo.

Could it be that I found my miracle? Possibly. I found an old journal from when I lost weight the first time. I didn't have a cell phone then, so no MFP to go off of. But I talked a lot about eating and didn't include calories. I DID however include that I was "so damn full" -to quote myself- and maybe that's one reason why I lost so quickly and felt better.

So this challenge I'm going to do 2 new things.

1. Walk. I used to walk practically every day. Rain, cold, sun I was out walking. 15 minutes on my break is what I did around the parking lot. Back then I was in an apartment and I didn't even do any workouts at all except that and occasionally dance central 2. I may lower my lifting to twice a week, and go back to dancing Friday nights to DC3 (they need to make a damn sequel already).

2. Eat to feel full.

I hate eating. It fills me with anguish and frustration that I even deserve to eat considering I'm a fatty. I hate eating in public for this reason. But I have learned that I have to eat. It's apparently necessary. So even though I feel terrible for doing it, I've increased my calorie intake to 1900 and I'm going to try to meet that every day. I'm still going to keep my carbs low, not ketogenic low, but around 50, and see where that gets me.

The last thing I'm going to do isn't new, really, but I'm going to include other things with it. at the beginning of the year I said I was going to start doing things just for me. To quit sitting in my chair feeling like crap and hiding because I'm fat. I'm going to be 35 if I make it to that point this year and while I know I have issues with the fact that I'm no longer in my 20s, I have to let that go and move on. So I'm going to do fun things. I'm going to continue to meditate 3x a week like I enjoy doing. I'm going to probably be more ritualistic about it, and incorporate some Tai Chi in the mix. I wanted to get to start my Wing chun class but the car said that he needed brakes instead so there goes that. But it's not a lost cause, just a delayed one.

To round this out I'm:

1. Walk at least 3 times a week (weather permitting)

2. Lift 2-3 times a week

3. Eat more fewd

4. Relax and do more fun things

That's it!

[SevenFootGeek]

Hey Monk.  Hey.  

 

Being 35 isn't so bad.  It hasn't killed me yet.

 

Eat your food.  Food is key.  Nerds are fond of the expression that you can't outrun your fork.  But, at the same time, you need that fork if you want to be able to run.  I recommend some time in the Monastery Kitchen for ideas of things you can eat until you're full and not feel guilty about it.  Or just fry some brussel sprouts in bacon fat.  With bacon.  There are a lot of nerds with some pretty spectacular skills in the kitchen.  Steal shamelessly.  Because they're pretty tasty.

[sarakingdom]

This challenge looks amazing.  Eating more can be a huge mental challenge for long-term dieters, and I know it's an emotionally big issue for you, so I'm incredibly glad you're taking this on.  It's a big challenge to change emotional responses to food, but incredibly good for mental and physical health.  You do deserve to eat.  You deserve all of the things that make your body healthier and stronger, and that includes good nutrition as much as workouts and exercise.  It's so easy to feel like food is the enemy, but it's not.

 

(I get that way about "deserving" to sleep.  It's very tough to change those emotional responses, too.)

[Teirin]

Walking is great exercise and so is dancing.  All of your goals look great and sensible.  You really do deserve to enjoy food, be happy and do fun things.  Good for you for taking care of yourself :-)

 

I really hope that this setup works well for you.  Will be cheering, as always!  I am also a member of the almost-35 club.

[Kishi]

Eating more and relaxing are the two new recommendations given for women who are looking to recompose their bodies, and it's the advice as given by female coaches and athletes. You're on the right track here, I know it.

 

This challenge looks good. Good meditation, good walking, good food.

[TheAccountant]

I'm not an expert on bodyfat, nor by looking at me would you want to take any advice on the subject. But as a former soldier, I can tell you that your body will eat your muscles before it eats your fat. Every field soldier knows the smell of muscle burning, it gets in the cloths, and you can't shower it off. There is nothing you can do about it if you have to keep moving, except eat whenever it's an option.

Now that I am not *required* to move long distances I will stop immediately if I start getting that smell.

[zare]

Reading your goals I see a lot of similarities with things i've struggled with,   looking back on it, extreme dieting not only forces your body to "feed" on your muscles first (as wyrmmaster said above) but it also puts a great amount of stress on you, which is no good for weight loss either. 

 

overall I like your goals, i'll be rooting for you.   Just take one step at a time

[RisenPhoenix]

Glad you are figuring out the food stuff, Monk.  Eating more is definitely counter-intuitive, but it can work, especially if you've been under eating for a long while.  

 

But I second the use of the kitchen to get food ideas!  We like food here at NF!  Ask and ye shall receive great recipes and food ideas!

[Lou_be_Lou]

How's your challenge going?

It sounds great - especially eating more and doing fun things!  Brilliant.

[monk]

I have actually been doing well. I haven't been able to walk, but I did shovel some of the 6 inches of snow that we received over the week, so I'm going to consider that an alternate. In addition, I did work out twice last week like I said. I went and picked up some asparagus, carrots, green beans and Brussels sprouts and I'm going to have those along with dinner this week to try to increase my calorie intake.  I'm also re-reading Mark Sisson's Primal Blueprint book that I have, and really going back to basics, in addition to reading the Whole9 website.

 

Which reminds me, I ate cake and ice cream on Saturday. I had been craving, really craving, a slice of chocolate cake. For like 2 weeks. So I said to myself, "Look dragon, if you want a chocolate cake so badly, lets just have a really good week and on Saturday, literally go to the store, buy a piece of chocolate cake, and savor it." So that's literally what I did. So that week prior I had found this (Whole9's Guide to Nutritional Off-Roading) and it worked WONDERS for me. I don't have a clue as to why. But my brain memorized that chart and now it's like I have the power to say no to stuff.  Like before when I would get frustrated, I'd have a huge fight with myself in the kitchen over my boyfriend's snacks in the cupboard. He is 100% NOT paleo and has oatmeal bars up there. Something would trigger me, and bam I'd go straight for it. Last week though with the help of that chart (and some help from the Force) I was able to not have it at all. Then on Saturday when I went and got my cake slice, I ate it all with one of those little tiny tubs of ice cream, the snack sized one that I guess is a taste tester or something? Either way it was the perfect size for one slice of cake. Not only did I love it, but I cut it in half and gave my boyfriend half of it. I do not feel one ounce of guilt about it either.

 

Now the two days a week workout thing I'm not sure about. I feel like I'm cheating if I don't do more than 2 days for a strength workout but I'm going to keep at it. I think my body needs time to readjust, and throwing weights at myself isn't going to help much, especially if my food is out of whack. But I did my 2 last week, and I'll do it again this week. 

 

All in all it's going well, I don't feel like I've done horribly by now, I just have to force myself to not look at the scale and freak out if it doesn't move for a while.

 

 

 

On an unrelated note:

LLAP...RIP Mr. Nemoy.

[Teirin]

There was a whole lot of good in that update. 

 

Shovelling is great exercise (am Canadian, can vouch).  If you're doing well on strength training twice a week right now, why worry?  Try it for a few more weeks and re-evaluate.  You could find that twice a week is fine or decide to increase to three times/week.  It has to fit with the rest of your schedule too.

 

Love that chart!  Deciding to have a good week and then go out and get a small but very nice treat and enjoying it without guilt is *perfect.*    You picked really good vegetables too.  All yummy and full of good nutrients. 

 

Primal Blueprint was a really good read.  I liked his exercise pyramid a lot.  Any particularlty good parts for you?

[Kishi]

YES.

 

Well done. You ate like you should have, controlled when you broke from it, enjoyed it without guilt, and I presume that you're back to being on target. That tracks with just about every piece of advice I've ever heard from female athletes for female athletes.

 

Terrific. Job well-done.

[RisenPhoenix]

Which reminds me, I ate cake and ice cream on Saturday. I had been craving, really craving, a slice of chocolate cake. For like 2 weeks. So I said to myself, "Look dragon, if you want a chocolate cake so badly, lets just have a really good week and on Saturday, literally go to the store, buy a piece of chocolate cake, and savor it." So that's literally what I did. So that week prior I had found this (Whole9's Guide to Nutritional Off-Roading) and it worked WONDERS for me. I don't have a clue as to why. But my brain memorized that chart and now it's like I have the power to say no to stuff.  Like before when I would get frustrated, I'd have a huge fight with myself in the kitchen over my boyfriend's snacks in the cupboard. He is 100% NOT paleo and has oatmeal bars up there. Something would trigger me, and bam I'd go straight for it. Last week though with the help of that chart (and some help from the Force) I was able to not have it at all. Then on Saturday when I went and got my cake slice, I ate it all with one of those little tiny tubs of ice cream, the snack sized one that I guess is a taste tester or something? Either way it was the perfect size for one slice of cake. Not only did I love it, but I cut it in half and gave my boyfriend half of it. I do not feel one ounce of guilt about it either.

 

This is a whole lot of epic.  Treats are okay in moderation, and sometimes the best way to beat a craving is to give it a deadline and then let your body have it.  Freaking awesome work!

[Teirin]

How's the week been?

[monk]

I don't know.  I feel like I am missing something but I don't know what.  Previously when doing my paleo most of the time thing, I lost SO much weight so damn quickly it was almost like I was sick. I could tell from week to week that I was losing it. Now, I don't know. I feel like my thighs have put on weight, and I feel heavy. I know I haven't moved much, with the weather being absolute crap, but they say it's 80% food, 20% exercise. I have been doing resistance bands but...bleh. 

[Kishi]

Well, okay, so. Let's analyze. Assuming you were about the same weight now as you were before, what's different?

[RisenPhoenix]

Well, okay, so. Let's analyze. Assuming you were about the same weight now as you were before, what's different?

 

This.

 

 

Also, could you be trying to bite off more than you expected and getting a bit of a burn out?  That lack of motivation/exhaustion might be the cause of you feeling "heavier," even if it's just a mental state.

[sarakingdom]

It's very rare (and not incredibly healthy) to lose weight so fast you can tell.  So that's not necessarily something wrong, even if losing weight more slowly is mentally tougher.  I'd recommend a tape measure and weekly measurements.  Feeling heavier could be anything from being heavier, to being a certain time of the month, to being an illusion based on mental state or winter blahs.  Better to have the numbers and know - and a tape measure is a better measurement of changes in body composition than the scale.

 

I know they say weight loss is 80% food, 20% exercise, but I'm starting to question that, at least for people whose food is generally pretty controlled.  I think that's advice that's mostly aimed at overeaters, and that's not all overweight people.  I suspect that for undereaters, who've had a metabolism hit from their calorie levels, part of getting their metabolism to work normally is more food and more movement.  Not stressful movement, necessarily, which has its own issues, just frequent enough doses of gentle movement to keep their metabolism revved up a little.  (I have no proof of this, and I'm still figuring out how to experimentally determine if it's true, but I have suspicions.)

[monk]

Everyone says that you have to lose it slowly. I just wish it wouldn't go so slow. If I could even get 2lbs a week that's 8lbs a month...if I could even manage that right now. I have figured out (through reading past journals) that I am missing my walking every day. I was doing that every single day, rain/sleet/snow/whatever. So I'm going back to doing that as well as the Dance Central time. When I got down to 213 (my lowest since I was probably 10 or 12) I had added in bike riding for 2 miles twice a week, basically sprinting. I hated it, but I was seeing results so I was doing it up until the cold hit, then I became unemployed and couldn't afford a gym.

 

I was supposed to be doing my Dance Central today, and I still might but I have become incredibly depressed by something which should have been fun that I was looking forward to doing for well over a month: boot shopping. I needed a new pair of motorcycle riding boots as the ones I had been using I had for well over 10 years and I had been saving and planning for weeks to buy new ones. Come to find out that I have to buy mens boots because the ones I could find for women stop at size 9. 

 

Imagine that, something else that I can't put on because a part of me is too big. My motorcycle jacket is a men's jacket because my boobs are unreasonably too big to fit into a petite lady's jacket and after my boyfriend took picture of me on my new motorcycle I discovered that I look like a sasquatch. Luckily, I have not resorted to eating to quell the pain (although really hot coffee is hitting the spot for me for some reason...not sure why, I just put coconut milk in it and that's it) but the pain of being fatter than your average girl is really taking its toll on me today.  I never thought in all those years when I finally got from a 24 down to a 16 that it wouldn't be enough.

 

Going to drown my sorrows, kiting some ghostly humans in Guild Wars 2 now.

[Kishi]

That really sucks. I'm sorry. You were looking forward to this great, validating experience, only for it to become anything but. That's neither cool nor fair, and I'm sorry that you didn't get what you wanted from it.

 

FWIW, this whole quest we're all on to be the best versions of ourselves is really and truly that - a journey. Fact is, even if you had gone from a 24 all the way down to a 12, you'd still be finding things that you couldn't fit into. It's just a fact.

 

Look, you're a story in progress. All of us are. And you're not where you want to be yet. That's fine. That's to be expected, actually. You'll find, as you go, that you'll get to these places, and you'll think to yourself that it was where you wanted to be, but the person you became in getting there totally wants something different, now that you did the thing. You got from a 24 to a 16, and you thought that was what you wanted, but the person you are now isn't finding what she wants here, so she has to go further.

 

It's a process. It really, truly is. You'll get down further yet. You totally can. Start walking again. You can do this.

[RisenPhoenix]

Kishi said it best. 

 

It sucks.  No way we could tell you otherwise, because we're not in your mind.  And the sad reality is that we will always find something we want to "Fix" in ourselves even after coming a long way (because dropping from a size 24 to a size 16 is a HUUUUUUGE way).  But it's okay to see stuff we want to fix in ourselves.  The idea if, as Kishi said, to keep moving on the journey.  Stopping is the only way to fail here.

 

Take a deep breath.  You'll get there.  Find things you like doing and do them, like the walking.  You got this.

[monk]

Monk has a hernia.

Monk can't lift weights, or do anything else stressful on her body until further testing is done.

Monk has thrown in the towel.

[Kishi]

You don't have to throw in the towel yet. Not at all.

 

Remember, we're all here to level up our lives. We are not our bodies.

 

So you can't train and you can't go hard on anything. Okay, then. You can control how you eat, and you can control how you think. Meditation's as good a thing to work on as anything else, and controlling your stress does have links to better health outcomes.

 

Take it easy and have some freaking self-compassion. You don't have to quit at all. It's just that forward looks a little different now.

[sarakingdom]

You don't have to throw in the towel yet. Not at all.

 

Remember, we're all here to level up our lives. We are not our bodies.

 

So you can't train and you can't go hard on anything. Okay, then. You can control how you eat, and you can control how you think. Meditation's as good a thing to work on as anything else, and controlling your stress does have links to better health outcomes.

 

Take it easy and have some freaking self-compassion. You don't have to quit at all. It's just that forward looks a little different now.

 

This.  Things happen that slow down your pace, injuries or illnesses or life things.  Okay, yes, frustrating, but there's always a next thing that can be done.  A diet challenge.  A mental challenge - stress, or body image.  A rest challenge.  Recovery and sleep are both really underestimated elements of fitness.  Are walking and light stretching totally out?  If so, bummer, but if not, simply walking is surprisingly good for fitness, and flexibility will help you later.  You don't need to be as physically stressful on your body to make progress.  In fact, for some people it helps to back off, because they've been pushing too hard. 

 

Converting the rest of the challenge to self-care is totally legit.  A lot of us do it when we're injured.  There are lots of ways to level up when our primary activity is off the table, and some of them are surprisingly beneficial.  This is something you can work with.  You can adapt and get some benefit out of this.

[RisenPhoenix]

Yup, exactly as Kishi and Sara said.

 

I've hit walls mid challenge, and been forced to change how I approached things.  Injuries don't mean an end to all activities (usually, there are of course exceptions).  Mental challenges are definitely something you can do, and diet challenges are something that can be done always.  Because weight loss is 80% diet and you can't outrun your fork.  Take an entire challenge dedicated to fixing how you look at food.  And not only that, it gives you the ability to focus on ONE thing instead of several.  Which means you're more likely to succeed. 

 

Quitting isn't going to help you reach the goal you want, and is the only way you'll fail.  Working towards your goal may be slow progress, but slow progress is still progress!