Every super hero needs an origin story...

[Sardoni]

Fair warning this will be a wall of text, but I want to get this all out just so its "real" and I can then commit.  I signed up for the mailing list a week ago and throughout the emails and managing those milestones I was made to take the time to stop and think.  Thinking can be dangerous.  I went back over some choices in my life.

 

So here's my origin story.

 

I am a 32 year old middle class white male and I've always been overweight/chubby for as long as I can remember.  Mentally I've never seen it as a bad thing.  I want to expand that point further before we move too deep.

 

I'd always been picked on for being fat in school.  It never actually hurt my feelings though.  I've always been told I have an "old soul" by grown ups, but all people making fun of me did was narrow down my social ladder.  If people would make fun of me because of how I looked I just wouldn't worry about what they thought.  I was a bit of a weird kid or too mature for my age I suppose.

 

In kindergarten a girl turned around and puked on me in the lunch line.

 

Instead of freaking out and screaming and throwing puke all over everyone else in a panic; I put down my tray, asked her if she felt better, and patted her on the back.  The teachers were stunned.  In second grade three boys walked up to me on the playground and one of them socked me in the eye.  I just looked up confused and asked if we could talk about it.  They backed up slowly (and never messed with me again).  The most traumatizing thing was that the teacher sent home a note in cursive handwriting explaining the situation to my mom.  So I came home crying thinking I was in trouble because I couldn't read cursive handwriting to know what the note said not because of the black eye.  My mom was upset because of the contents of the note and then laughed when she found out I was crying because I couldn't read not because I was punched.  She then sat down and started teaching me how to read cursive handwriting.  As a kid, I rode my bike everywhere and even though I was addicted to my Atari, Nintendo, Sega (Sega channel ), etc my mom was the kind of mom that kicked us out of the house to go play with a stick.  I recall we ate a lot of junk food though because it didn't require much effort to cook and it was generally cheap.

 

My dad was military and deployed sporadically.  Well I remember sometimes when he came home from deployment he'd offer me something like $5 for every pound I lost while he was gone.  He'd offer to weigh me before he left and then weigh me again when he got back.  He'd also offer to take me to the gyms on base or programs like that when he was home.  This happened all throughout middle school and high school. 

 

I remember in middle school I thought swimming could be a good way to lose weight.

 

I took swim lessons on the base.  I didn't know any of these folks since it was another town.  When I took off my shirt all the kids laughed at me the first swim lesson for being fat.  So rolling forward I just wore a shirt.  Didn't help the instructor didn't tell them to stop ("kids being kids" mentality).  So immediately my mentality of dismissing people because they made fun of me just applied to this whole setting.  After swimming you'd go take a shower to wash off the chlorine.  I'd usually wait in the kiddie pool until all the kids were done before going in there because the first day all they did was make fun of me again.  This time it was when there weren't any grown ups around so it was crueler.  Long story short I flunked those lessons and still can't swim to this day.

 

After that every time my dad made that bet I'd ask him if he thought I wasn't happy with the way I looked.  He'd always say that he just wanted me to be happy and healthy.  So mentally I had this sort of road block built up.  He was my dad, but he kept focusing on my weight.  I had always just written people off who made my weight an issue but those people were always making fun of me.  It was very hard for me to process that.  I never took him up on the offer.  I realize he never did it maliciously, but I had a hard time processing the situation.  I also never explained that to him (might have to do that later) since that has been a recent discovery.

 

In high school I always wore Hawaiian shirts just because no one was wearing them. 

 

The shirts didn't force me to fit into any cliques (also they were usually cheap).  So I could hang out with the goths, the jocks, the nerds, the geeks etc.  I had a 4.4 gpa, student body vice-president, and more clubs and officerships than I care to bore you with.  In middle school those bullies that punched me in second grade actually had my back in middle school and high school, so not many people ever picked on me about my weight.   I sort of "embraced my fatness" if you well?  If that makes sense at all.

 

Starting in sixth grade and all the way through my senior year; before Christmas vacation (on the last day of school) I would dress up as Santa Claus.  In November I would ask each of my teacher's for a class roster of the other student's names.  I would ask my mom to take me to the dollar store and we'd buy those packages of Christmas cards that were a buck.  Every night I would sit there and go through the roster and find something nice to say to each classmate or comment on something we had in common.  I'd also pull out old yearbooks to put a face with the name if I couldn't remember them.  If I couldn't think of something; I would try to get to know something about them before Christmas time.  Then I would draw on the cards (sometimes just simple doodles) but I personalized every single one of them as best I could.  I also did one for each teacher.  Then I passed them all out dressed up as Santa. 

 

At first everyone made fun of me, but then it just kind of caught on as something people looked forward to.

 

I had a giant santa sack (with mini-bags inside separated by class).  Classmates got their card and a small candy cane.  Teachers got one of those big single stick candy canes and their card.  I always found something to thank the teacher for teaching us (or tell them a certain style they had that I appreciated.).  I'd like to think it made people's day, but I never expected to get anything in return.  I think I sort of built barriers up by being too nice to be made fun of by people I had classes with.  As a result it also created peripheral barriers.  People would tell their friends not to mess with me because I was a nice guy.  I remember my junior year one guy came up to me mad that he didn't have a class with me that semester because he wanted a card and candy cane.  So my junior and senior year I tried to make sure I did one for every one in my graduating class (223 people).  I also carried around blank cards and candy canes to duck behind a corner and try to come up with something clever if I passed by people who seemed to need their day brightened that I might not know.

 

In college I carried around a stuffed moose head to every class.  It was sort of one of those riding horses with the stick.  If people approached me to talk about the moose head I figured these were people that didn't let looks bother them.  Some thought it was a pledge prank, but nope... just me being me.  I did the santa thing in college and people were stoked more for the free candy .  There was a gym on campus free to alumni and students.  I was stoked.  They even had indoor swimming pools so I was excited to try and do that again.  I was still overweight.  I went to the gym during the second week of college and didn't know how to use any of the equipment.  I kept looking for an instructor or someone to ask what might be a good way to start.  This was in 2001 and still relatively before the advent of "useful internet."

 

I asked one of the employees at the gym how to use one of the machines and she lied to me.

 

She went over and joined her friends in the corner.  I had a walk-man with me and put in the ear plugs but didn't turn it on yet.  Then I heard her say to her friends how she had told me the wrong way to use the machine and to get ready to watch this guy mess up bad.  I took out my earbuds, stared at her, gave her a disapproving look, and then grabbed my towel and left the gym.  Never went back.  In college I started smoking cigarettes pretty hard to manage the various stresses.

 

Flash forward to moving across the country to Portland, OR.  For a while I worked at Subway and ate relatively healthy.  Got a huge bag of rice and lived off that for a while.  But the big thing is that I walked everywhere.  For the first time there were sidewalks.  Every where.  Never lived in a place that had so many sidewalks (and mostly pleasant weather... NO HUMIDITY).  So I took advantage of that.  I think around this time I picked up the Power 90 program to try and lose some weight.  Then my room mate at the time busted into my room while I was trying to work out with a video camera and was laughing and making fun of me.  Needless to say my efforts sort of stopped there.  I lost some weight, but my eating habits were terrible.  I was still over weight but I was comfortable in my skin (if that makes sense).  Then I started working at a call center.  Through a series of buyouts and mergers and confusion I got promoted and worked my way up to a decent management level.  Also this is where I started drinking heavily both energy drinks and alcohol.  I'd always eat out either with the client or co-workers.  No one made my weight an issue (to my face at least) but the setting was different since I was a partial boss to almost 1,000 people at one point.  I always created recognition contests and celebrated milestones, birthdays, performance, etc.  I'd be running around the site motivating people, cheering them up, encouraging them to do better so they made more money and had happier customers.

 

I would sometimes have four diet rock stars a day (...I know) to keep up my energy.

 

Things took a turn at that job and I decided to quit my job and move back home to Mississippi to help take care of my family and also to write a book.  My life lately has been very sedentary.  This is where I can share some good news things though because it's been a pretty weird roller coaster so far if you've stayed tuned:

 

• 5 years ago in May I quit drinking.  Haven't touched alcohol since.  I was up to seven AMFs (long island ice teas with blue croc) and able to walk a straight line.  Not in the "I got it bruh trussss meh" manner.  Like really.  It was scary.  I realized I had to change that.  I didn't do a 12 step program or AA or anything like that.  I just walked away from the bars and stopped.  I also stopped drinking energy drinks at the same time (well after I drove from Portland, OR to Mississippi).

 

• 3 years ago this month I quit smoking.  I was up to 2 packs of cigarettes a day (I know... yikes right?).  I had always pestered my parents not to smoke, so instead of being the pot calling the kettle black I decided to lead by example.  They still haven't quit, but I also haven't started back up.  I still have half a pack of cigarettes on my desk from when I looked down and just decided to stop.  Again I didn't do the gum or smoking cessation techniques or the electronic cigarette.  I just stopped.  For a while I did put a pen between my fingers (and I chewed on my fair share of pen-caps) but beyond that I didn't stray.

 

• This past February I stopped drinking soda.  I used go through six diet cokes a day (and that would be the only thing I would drink).  Now I've switched almost mutually exclusively to water.  The only exception is orange juice (and no not sunny delight the one with lots of potassium!).  Eventually I'll try to kick out the orange juice, but for now it's almost my only liquid vice.

 

 

Now last week I found this site.  Not sure how... it might've been something I saw on Imgur.  Started reading things and snickered about leveling up your life.  It made sense.  Then I started reading about how small changes are the better way to go instead of crash diets.  A lot of this stuff made sense, but not in the brain-washy sense that some infomercials try to trap you with.

 

So then I saw the Beginner Body Workout Routine.  I watched the video while I was eating my morning cereal and looked over at the cat and said "Hey, I bet I can do some of that."  I rearranged the room to see how many moves I could do.  I even grabbed the jug of milk from the fridge ready to go.  After I started to do the lunges I thought my legs were going to snap in half.  I was nearly collapsed on the ground climbing up to sit on my bed in tears.  I realized then that something needed to change.

 

For the first time EVER I felt like a prisoner in my own body.

 

Since I've given you some back story already; I had created this romanticized image in my mind that if someone could fall in love with me for who I was then that would motivate me to lose weight and get healthy for them.  Maybe that sounds insane or naive, but all around me I'd see my friends that were "in shape" fall in love based on looks and then have it all fall apart once they got to know one another.  For me it logically made sense to reverse that process.  So this site at the very least has made me shatter some of my own walls that I've put up around me.

 

I also managed to get a commitment from my mom to try this paleo diet with me.  She's always been saying she wants to lose weight and fit into all the clothes she had shoved between three closets, but never does anything about it.  That being said we have cupboards full of pasta, cereal, breads, basically all the no-nos on the paleo... and we got them in spades.  We'll be deciding tonight if we give that stuff to other family members or give it to charity in some way.  I'm ready to jump in feet first but I think my mom won't give up her pasta and breads without a fight    I'm really hoping eating all of it before moving to the diet isn't in the cards, but the simple solution for me is just that I won't eat that stuff.  I told her I'd just make some vegetable stir fry with chicken and portion it for lunch over the week for us and she just kind of said "every day for a week.  No variety?"  I'm aright with that but we might have to work out some details for her.   Regardless, I will be doing something for me.

 

And so here we are at my cross roads.

 

I haven't weighed myself in forever.  Easily ~400 pounds at this point.  I have very little exercise period.  I don't eat a lot, but I eat the wrong things.  I can eat a lot (I could eat a whole pizza if it was put in front of me and I didn't manage my self control) but I maintain some portion control.  Yesterday I skipped breakfast had a toasted tuna fish sandwich on wheat with some broccoli and cheese for lunch (we have these healthy choice things).  Crackers with peanut butter was dinner.  And I've been snacking on unsalted mixed nuts.  All while only drinking water.

 

So my long term commitment/challenge/goal that I want to put in writing is to be happy with my shirt off by the time I turn 35.

 

For those keeping track that will be 2 years from this coming December.  When I pull that off it will be both a physical and mental victory.  I thought about tagging myself as an Assassin because the idea of being adept at working out anywhere really eliminates any excuse I might try and create for myself.  For now I'm an Adventurer until I establish the best possible routine for me.  If I'm honest I'd prefer to be something of a Scholar class to also set book writing goals (and I'm usually a healer/mage type in MMOs ), but I'm going to take this all one step at a time.  The one step at a time mentality is something I've already been doing with my other vices and I already know that it works.

 

Somethings gotta give.  And I sure don't want it to be my legs again.

 

I'm also committing right now to stop with the junk food.  I usually get the baked lays "because they're better for you," but I'm not going to buy those things anymore.  If they happen to make their way into my house I'm going to ignore them.  Considering I'm running out of vices to kick this one might be a bit tricky (there's even a tray of brownies in the kitchen I'm ignoring right now lol), but I need to look at food the way I look at crafting in  MMOs.  If I need to craft something for myself I always get the best possible quality materials to make the best quality product.  If I keep shoving low quality food into my face I will never make anything but a low quality product.  I need to have the same expectations for myself that I do in game.

 

If I have to find 8 hours in the day to devote to fitness in some way shape or form I'm going to find the time.  I know all the things on the site say you only need ~45 minutes.  I want to find a smart way to do things so I won't be cursing my body's sudden yet inevitable betrayal again.  I also don't want to over do it , burn out, and walk away.  I've got to find a happy medium.  I don't have a full plate schedule at the moment so now's the perfect time for me.

 

I'm debating buying into the Academy program for help with a meal plan and reasonable work out routine that I can do at home.  I have to assess some finances, but I'll find a way.  Once I'm more comfortable in my own skin we happen to have a 24/7 gym in my town with a sauna that I could easily drive to that's just a few streets away.  I've got to shake off the stigmas first that have built up over the years.  Being comfortable in my skin is step one.

 

I've got to find the batteries for my digital camera and I'll be taking a few pictures somehow.  Those aren't for me.  Those will be for the people reading this in a few months.  Something to help get them motivated.  To get through this I'm going to focus on where I want to be, but live in the now.

 

This is just the first page of my new chapter.

 

If you've stuck with me this long; thank you for listening to my story.  I know how fortunate I have been to stop many of the vices cold turkey that I already have.  I know alcohol and cigarettes and even caffeine is a struggle for a lot of people.  If I've already conquered all that I'm committed to conquering my weight.

 

Failing the beginner body workout routine was the first time I recognized my weight as a vice.

 

But I need help.  I am NOT the kind of person to ask for help.  I've been a hermit these past couple of years and it's time for me to start changing how I feel about myself and rejoin the world.

 

This week the goal is to target smarter groceries (paleo centric) and to keep making time to walk.  I want to do that Beginner Body Workout Routine, but it's clear that I need a path to bridge me from where I am (which is literally no where) to there.  So that's my first short term goal.  If I keep researching too much I'll never actually do anything, so I might just go walk around in my backyard for a bit.  Ugh, I hope there are no fire ant hills.

 

I was about to create this post almost a week ago and I got a phone call that my great uncle passed away.  That tossed the world around for a bit.  Then I got a phone call that my cousin won a contest so her wedding reception was now at a nicer place (completely paid for).  So as karma keeps ebbing and flowing I've got to stop waiting for things to happen and influence what I need to change.

 

I've got to take charge of my life.

 

If you've read this whole thing I hope my story makes you appreciate the strides you've made in your own life even more.  Or realize there's someone else out there just starting out too.

 

Thank you for your time and your attention to this matter,

Paul Blanchard a.k.a. Sardoni

[StoneMonkey]

I didn't read this in as much detail as I'd like to, but one thing is absolutely clear: you've got everything you need for the start of your journey. The people in this forum are great; I've only been here for a week or so but I've already received excellent advice regarding my all time biggest vice, candy. It is apparent that you have the drive to succeed and you've come to the right place! 

 

Now go out there and take charge. I'm sure you'll own it!

[Eleanorsbee]

Wow !!!!! ...  what an epic 1st post.

 

And so incredibly well written, you had me hooked from the 1st to the last word ... it was funny, yet humbling, sad but hopeful ... I loved it, especially your childhood stories.

 

you really are one radioactive snail bite away from being a proper superhero !

 

You have certainly found the right place, everything you need is here from support, advice, knowledge and the tools to help you keep on track, motivated and accountable.

 

I will certainly be following your progress, keep typing !!!!

[Sardoni]

I know I wrote a wall of text already but I have a mini-update that might be hilarious for some people.

 

We don't use the patio or the backyard much at all.  However, I didn't think it would be an epic quest to go out in the backyard and just walk.  As I opened the sliding door I was greeted first by about six spiderwebs.  Those spiderwebs had many more than just six spiders.  I just kept muttering "nope nope nope nope" and grabbed a broom and began attacking all the spiders and spider webs to clear a path from the sliding glass door to the patio door.

 

Mission successful made it outside.  As I was walking through the yard I had to dodge... EIGHTEEN fire ant hills.  Also half the yard was... "marshy" with weird grass I'm afraid might be poison ivy.  As I stepped through that area it was either mosquitoes or daddy long legs that swarmed up and around.  If you were spying on me from the distance you'd have probably thought I was crazy slapping around.  I don't think I have the first aid knowledge to detect poison ivy so I decided to head to the drier ground.  So I bobbed and weaved through the marsh and the fire ant hills to the drier side of the yard.  There I walked for ten minutes.

 

Sadly, I think I have to burn that broom now... might need to burn the clothes too... perhaps the whole patio.  At the very least I need a shower to get rid of the heebie jeebies lol.

 

Regards,

Paul Blanchard a.k.a. Sardoni

[Luciana Valerosa Culming]

I'm new here to and I sign, what Mandrill wrote. Here's the right place for what you search. Now let it happen

And I read your whole post. Impressive story and well written. Took me 20 minutes. What kind of book do you want to write? What have you been doing, since you dropped out of your job? I'm a little curious. Oh and since you now know so much about me ^^

I'm 28, female and I have written my own introduction somewhere here. My whole family is overweight - only me has kind of a good start. So I can sympathizise with you. I also would like my mother, sister and father to start this journey with me. Always when I call my sister, I tell her about small changes I made.

Lunges and planks are really hard at first. I'll think about something my mother would be able to do and write it down for you. She weights 110 kg and is 160 cm tall.

Exercises:

Walking is a good exercise for the beginning. And if you choose different paths, you can see something new every day.

Perhaps you can try cycling.

I hope you'll be able to learn swimming one day, because it can be a lot of fun. Perhaps this is something to look forward too.

When you feel more comfortable, you should try out the sauna as well. I remember my mother doing this, when she had lost a lot of weight. (Unfortionatly she gained it all back, after quitting smoking.)

Mhh, I think there is a thread somewhere for this topic. Good luck with your journey and best wishes.

Kate

[AerialTriceratops]

That was awesome, I loved your story! (I'm sitting on a quite boring lecture and forgot my book, so it's a lifesaver)

Go for it, you can make it. Besides, your willpower is amazing and inspiring. I'll be taking notes (because I suck at it).

[AerialTriceratops]

I posted the same message twice. So I'll use this one to tell you that I really like the idea of repeating something till nobody laughs at it but actually waits for you to do it. You could use it in fitness, but I have no idea how.

[Sardoni]

Thank you all for the kind words!

 

I'm new here to and I sign, what Mandrill wrote. Here's the right place for what you search. Now let it happen

And I read your whole post. Impressive story and well written. Took me 20 minutes. What kind of book do you want to write? What have you been doing, since you dropped out of your job? I'm a little curious. Oh and since you now know so much about me ^^

I'm 28, female and I have written my own introduction somewhere here. My whole family is overweight - only me has kind of a good start. So I can sympathizise with you. I also would like my mother, sister and father to start this journey with me. Always when I call my sister, I tell her about small changes I made.

Lunges and planks are really hard at first. I'll think about something my mother would be able to do and write it down for you. She weights 110 kg and is 160 cm tall.

Exercises:
Walking is a good exercise for the beginning. And if you choose different paths, you can see something new every day.
Perhaps you can try cycling.
I hope you'll be able to learn swimming one day, because it can be a lot of fun. Perhaps this is something to look forward too.
When you feel more comfortable, you should try out the sauna as well. I remember my mother doing this, when she had lost a lot of weight. (Unfortionatly she gained it all back, after quitting smoking.)
Mhh, I think there is a thread somewhere for this topic. Good luck with your journey and best wishes.

Kate

 

I had to bust out the metric conversion charts.  We here in the states usually break out in tears when people don't use pounds and feet.  I weigh approximately 181 kg and am 190.5 cm tall.  The height I'm more certain of truth be told.  We don't own a scale.  I'm not rushing to buy one but we'll see what's in the cards.

 

To sum up the book, it's a story of a young woman from the country of Moldova told through the perspectives of people all around her.  You as the reader get exposed to back-stories that don't get told to my characters.  The good, the bad, the ugly.  Just like in real life.  There are people we know (or don't know) that have been through horrifying and amazing things that have shaped who they are.  Example her mother goes through her life believing she was raped.  She never vocalizes it, lies to the daughter about who her father is up until she is on her deathbed.  Then she tells her that her real father is still alive.  So then the daughter seeks out the father only to find out he is in a coma.  So you as the reader get to see his whole back story as experienced by these other characters the daughter meets.  We never talk ill of the sick or the dead so she doesn't really get the whole picture.  Then I let him explain himself and how the intimacy shared between him and the mother, in his eyes was consensual.  So you get her side of the story and his side of the story and you as the reader are left to decide who you believe... if either.  It's not graphic either and I don't go into detail.  It isn't necessary for the story telling.  That's just one piece of "controversy" I guess.  More and more I see people jump on a bandwagon just because it's a bandwagon.  My goal is to get people to think for themselves.  I took people that I have met in my own life that I didn't understand and tried to put their personalities under a microscope.  Not the demean them (and definitely not to call them out names changed and all that) but to understand them

 

Sadly I need to nail down how to piece everything today.  I have snippets of stories that need to be wrangled together coherently since I don't want this to be a steam of consciousness thing.  And then I have another idea for a fantasy themed book that keeps jumping into the forefront my brain but I keep telling my brain to settle down and focus on the first idea or we'll never get anywhere.

 

If it doesn't get published that's fine.  I just need it to get out of my head for now

 

I look forward to any tips and tricks you might have!

 

That was awesome, I loved your story! (I'm sitting on a quite boring lecture and forgot my book, so it's a lifesaver)

Go for it, you can make it. Besides, your willpower is amazing and inspiring. I'll be taking notes (because I suck at it).

 

I have a simple motto that I've already tried to live by.

Regret what you do; not what you don't; just do it.

 

I'd rather look back and go "Man that was stupid" then look back and go "What if...."  Up until this point I'm pretty proud of myself of not accumulating too many regrets.

 

In high school I volunteered at a nursing home for Key club.  There would be a lot of sob stories and people regretting choices they had made in their life.  I remember one woman (can't remember her name) she'd always grab me and say "DON'T LISTEN TO THEM! Get in here!"  She'd always tell me how she outlived her family, but she had a good life.  She lived each day one moment at time.  She didn't want to waste the present looking back.  She also didn't want to waste the future because she never looked ahead.

 

She was my inspiration.  I was fortunate to have her wacky advice so early in my life.  My goal was to be a crazy old person that told people to live their lives and not mope around.

 

It's only as easy as you let it be.  A lot of times we create our own road blocks or allow ourselves to develop bad habits.  Just as we develop them we can... undevelop them?  I don't think that's a word but we'll go with it.  Sometimes we need help; sometimes we just need to take initiative.

 

To quote Mr. T: If you can believe it; you can achieve it!  And if you don't know who that is... boy am I really getting old now.

[AerialTriceratops]

Notes taken, sir! My mum says "live here and now" but I'm still figuring out the meaning of it.

Also, I adore Mr. T. I have for like 20 years now.

Also, your craftsmanship in writing makes me humble and intimidated and I try not to overuse words like "love" or "awesome" or other words I tend to overuse and it's kind of hard. Now that last sentence was embarrassing.

[Sardoni]

Notes taken, sir! My mum says "live here and now" but I'm still figuring out the meaning of it.

Also, I adore Mr. T. I have for like 20 years now.

Also, your craftsmanship in writing makes me humble and intimidated and I try not to overuse words like "love" or "awesome" or other words I tend to overuse and it's kind of hard. Now that last sentence was embarrassing.

 

I hate to say writing comes naturally, but it usually always has for me.  If I had to pretend I didn't have a way with words and try to find out how to develop one...

 

Hmm... -Wayne's World dream sequence hand motions-

 

Ahh my junior and senior year in high school (many moons ago) both my English teachers would have a "word-a-day" challenge.  Instead of saying you were excited you'd have to say you were ebullient (lovely word by the way).  They'd stop class and substitute words and we'd bust out the dictionary and such.  That forced me to sort of acknowledge that other words could mean other things.  So as I gathered that knowledge base of words slowly I sort of trained my inner voice to have fancier words too. 

 

I also did competitive speech and debate in high school (Yay Forensics... not the study of dead people) and broke into Semi-finals at national competition for Impromptu (they would give you three words/phrases and you'd have to pick one and develop a speech and then present).  You'd have seven minutes total.  So if you took 3 minutes to prep and 4 minutes to speak.  or 2 and 5.  Up to you.  The judges based it on how you presented and how confident you sounded; not strictly the accuracy of what you were saying.  So professional BSing.  Loved it.  I drew the same word as I did in the second round and tried to recreate that speech instead of risking anything new so I ruined it for myself.  But I still had fun.

 

So that might be a way to crash course/self train on writing.  Try to learn a new word a day (I'm sure dictionary.com has something free) and challenge yourself to develop an impromptu speech and present to your mirror.  Just look around the room and make a speech about an object you see.  I used to do it while walking around campus.  I'd see dog collar with no dog and quickly right a speech in my head about where it came from or why it was there, etc.  Just do it all in my head.

 

Off the top of my head those were the most influential things that shaped my way with phrasing and words themselves!  (I also get really nervous speaking in front of people but I got really good at faking it).

[LadyGrey]

1.) Nice profile pic. 

2.) Sega channel FTW!

3.) Welcome to NF!

[Jett]

Hey, dude! You seem like a cool person. Welcome to the Rebellion!

 

It's good that you've recognized your weight as a vice - there are so, so many health problems that come with being obese. Even if you can adapt yourself to being happy with yourself as you are, you owe it to yourself to craft a body that will let you do anything you want! Being happier with how you look is also a good added bonus!

[Luciana Valerosa Culming]

That's a cool concept for a book. Thanks for sharing.

[Aquamom]

I'm impressed that you are so incredibly self-aware. That will serve you well on this journey. You can do this!

[AerialTriceratops]

Thank you for the good advice I enjoy playing with words (and using somewhat forgotten ones) in my native language, english is a different story though. Expressing myself clearly and in a interesting way is, um, on the verge of totally impossible. Mostly because I use only those language structures I'm 94% sure how to use correctly, and these are, well, most common.

[Strickland5]

Just remember ...

 

[Sardoni]

So had a hard boiled egg, 3 pieces of bacon, and 2 carrots for breakfast. 

 

Went to traverse the back yard again.  It rained last night so the yard was more mud than solid ground.  I had to fight two spiders this time (I guess the other ones have learned).  I picked up the pace and did another 15 minute walk around the backyard.  It's a long walk to the end of my street, but I just remembered there's one side walk in my town.  One.  And it starts at the end of my street.  The locals call it "the side walk to no where" (since there isn't anything along the way... there's a funeral home and a few houses).  It also doesn't even connect to another sidewalk at another intersection.  So I think I'll work up to walking to the end of my street and seeing how far that sidewalk goes over the next few days.

 

I just made a vegetable chicken stir fry (chicken, broccoli, cauliflower, and carrots) and I'll be portioning that out for lunch for the remainder of the week.  No fancy spices just some lemon pepper on the chicken and some onion powder over the veggies.  I think I might cook with some soy sauce next time, but I've been trying to lower my sodium intake and this didn't taste horrible.  Hmm maybe I'll do garlic next time.

 

I'm impressed that you are so incredibly self-aware. That will serve you well on this journey. You can do this!

 

Thank you!  At the risk of sounding conceited I try not to brag about it.  A lot of people struggle with their own identities, so I usually downplay it.

 

Thank you for the good advice I enjoy playing with words (and using somewhat forgotten ones) in my native language, english is a different story though. Expressing myself clearly and in a interesting way is, um, on the verge of totally impossible. Mostly because I use only those language structures I'm 94% sure how to use correctly, and these are, well, most common.

 

Never be afraid to express yourself.  Just remember words like "selfie" and "swag" didn't exist 10 years (some people think they still shouldn't exist )  You never know when you might just create a new word by accident!

 

Just remember ...

 

 

I hope they make another Incredibles, but I also hope it doesn't turn out to be one of those sequels we want to pretend never happened.

 

Now you've got me thinking about what my super hero costume might look like.

[Sardoni]

So I skipped dinner last night but I didn't feel hungry... so I guess that's fine.  I've also been drinking about 4 large glasses of water a day (and that's been my only liquid these past two days).  I think my stomach wanted more to eat but I honestly felt like had enough calories, so I just ignored it.

It made me laugh as I was falling asleep that I wasn't daydreaming about like hamburgers, cheesecake, or brownies, but I trying to come up with recipes to use black beans and Italian sausage (and some other paleo friendly things I know I had in my kitchen).  So I think my brain is on my side at least at this point even if my stomach isn't!

 

For breakfast this morning I had 2 hard boiled eggs and more sweet potato fries than I should have.  They were baked and not fried at least.  And the other good news is that now depletes the french fry stock in the house that I won't be replenishing.  For lunch I think I'm going to use the black beans and Italian sausage to make a soup.  Ohh I can get some onions and celery and then make a bean dip with that.  Then I can take a cucumber and slice it up and pretend they are crackers.  That might be good.  Huh.  Well I think I figured out lunch!  For dinner I'll be having that chicken stir fry I made... or maybe I'll do the bean dip soup/pretend cracker for dinner.  We'll see after I get done with my walk.

 

I'm waiting on my laundry before I go walking.  Gotta get my workout sweatpants out of the dryer.

 

Nerd milestone: I hit 6,000 entertaining in the Repopulation's alpha test (new sandbox MMO) so yay to that!

 

Mentally I think I'm ready to commit to working out more, but I've gotta find something I can do in the comfort of my own home for now.  I'm going to give the beginner workout challenge another go.  I might wait until tomorrow and just focus on walking for today.  One step at a time right?

[ShortStrider]

One step at a time, exactly.  We all have to find our own path, the one that works for us.  Balance that with enough "Just Do It" as a disposition and next thing you know you're doing it!

 

Nice work, sir!  Nice work!

[AerialTriceratops]

Right but don't push it too hard physically at the beginning. well, actually don't push it too hard physically at all. your body is a newbie, treat it leniently (no idea whether I used this word correctly or not). It's good especially for the joints.

[Sardoni]

Right but don't push it too hard physically at the beginning. well, actually don't push it too hard physically at all. your body is a newbie, treat it leniently (no idea whether I used this word correctly or not). It's good especially for the joints.

 

Yeah I'm going to stick with changing my eating habits and continuing to walk.  I might work on some warm ups, but at my current fitness level warm-ups are almost work-outs themselves lol.  EDIT: And the word usage was correct

 

I had the chicken stir fry for lunch yesterday (as planned) and skipped dinner again.  I wasn't hungry and I don't feel like I'm starving myself.  I think I've started to notice when my stomach is just bored.  I think I'll get a thing of celery and just snack on that when my stomach thinks he's the boss of me.

 

For breakfast this morning I had 4 scrambled eggs with 1/4th of a cucumber, 1/4 of a white onion, 1/4 of a green pepper all diced up in it, and 4 pieces of bacon (mainly because I cooked up a lot of bacon and it was hard to resist (stored it the rest for later in the week ).  I did have a large glass of orange juice, but I was happy to read on the label it just had water, and orange juice concentrate.  I think I'm happy.  I could pronounce all the things on the label!   I only put in some black pepper, white pepper, and a pinch of chili power (just to make myself wonder why I did that).  Tasted good.  I don't usually cook with cucumber in that way but it rounded out the flavor decently.

 

I figured if I'm going to keep skipping dinner I might as well have a hearty breakfast.  Rolling forward I will just reduce the bacon and eggs to 2 each and keep the vegetable intake the same.  I have had 2 large glasses of water today so far so woot!.

 

For lunch I'm going to finish of the chicken vegetable stir fry I made on Sunday (broccoli, cauliflower, carrots).  No rice just chicken and veggies.  Very little seasonings.  Lemon pepper is the only thing I put in it.

 

I nixed the black bean idea because (after researching and reading debates) legumes aren't really paleo... or they are but they aren't... radda radda.  I have other things to eat so I don't mind not eating it.

 

In case I skip dinner again I'm going to whip something up just to have ready for lunch tomorrow since I'm low on stir fry.  Might do an italian sausage vegetable stir fry.  I've got some broccoli and cauliflower I need to consume soon-ish.

 

It's pouring down raining, but I'm going to do my 10 minute walk today (might have to do it later than I like)... I'm hoping it starts to die down a bit.  I live along the gulf coas,t so when it rains it's not mist.  It's "walk-to-the-end-of-your-driveway-to-get-your-mail-and-get-your-umbrella-blown-out-your-hand-and-you're-completely-soaked-from-head-to-toe" rain.

 

My brain is ready to do some of the body-weight exercises, but I have to let my body catch up.  I may just have to stick to stretching and walking for a few weeks just until my body can handle the stress.  At least the food I'm shoving in my face is going well over the past four days!

[Sardoni]

Well I just did a 20 minute walk and I'm exhausted.  I guess that's what I get for being sedentary mainly for 3 years.  According to google maps I went .6 miles.  And what's funny is I was dreaming off a glass of water to get me home faster.  I think my brain is on the same page as me now.  Time to get this body in line.

 

I think what I may try to do over the next few days is walk that route once in the morning and then once in the afternoon.  I don't want to burn myself out, but I'm sick of sitting around.

 

The long term goal will be to make it to that sidewalk, but without rest I don't have the stamina to make it that far.  At least I can acknowledge that and set stretch goals.

 

I'm sore so I guess that counts for something.

 

I also forgot about lunch getting my haircut and walking.  I'm not even hungry.  I wonder if that's my body just eating all this fat I've stored up.  I sure hope so.  I don't want to eat for the sake of eating (especially since I'm trying to lose weight).

 

I wonder if I should have stretched to go walking.  Running yes, but walking... hopefully I don't end up pulling something.

 

EDIT: And now I need to buy more comfortable shoes.  This healthy thing is getting expensive

 

EDIT 2: Just bought a scale.  417 pounds.  That number was eye opening.  Now we put away the scale for a few weeks and keep focusing on the goals.  Out of sight; out of mind.

[Sardoni]

I did finish off the chicken sty fry last night and went to bed.

 

I woke up this morning and made scrambled eggs, with cucumber, green peppers, onions and some of the bacon from the other day chopped up.  Added in some black pepper and a bit of cumin.  Made it for the family (even though some doused it in ketchup but hey baby steps all around!).  Had a glass of orange juice with it because there was a chocolate cake on the counter staring at me.  I think I may just replace the urge to eat something like cake with a fruit juice of some kind.

 

I felt the uncontrollable urge to take a nap right after eating and it turns out I'm sick.  I think I got the stomach virus thing going around.  I'm walking around my house for the 5 minutes today but I don't think I'll be attempting anything strenuous (despite my want to do something strenuous).  I did go up to the market and pick up this Odwalla strawberry and banana smoothie (only one ingredient I can't pronounce).  I figured it was something liquid I could keep down.  It tastes pretty good surprisingly (I'm not usually a big fruit fan).  If I can't exercise I'll at least keep to the better food plan!  I want some soup but the only "easy soups" in the house are ramen and chicken noodle.  Trying to avoid the pastas.  I'll be fine with my fruit juice for now.

 

So lunch was some turkey lunch meat and this smoothie and if the pattern continues I won't be having supper.  Also I'll be going back to bed because I want to get over this thing as quickly as possible.  Can't get sick during the week has to be a weekend huh body?  Bah lol.

[AerialTriceratops]

Sorry to hear about your viral infection. Hopefully it'll pass soon. Also, I dig the idea of keeping food & workout diary in a form of storytelling. In fact it's so nice I think I'm going to steal it (:

 

I noticed that reading this now is for me like a real-time adventure story with the possibility of interacting with the main character. Also, you're from America, and thus have a different mindset than I do, what makes it even more exciting. America is so distant for me that it may very well be Shire or Death Star or the Final Empire (the Mistborn one).

 

I have no education in fitness, but stretching your legs before taking a walk won't hurt, I guess (:

[Sardoni]

So Sunday.  I had a hard boiled egg and a 2 pieces of bacon for breakfast.  I had some ham and turkey (probably enough to make two sandwiches) but just the meat along with cauliflower, carrots and broccoli (spiced with lemon pepper, garlic powder, and onion powder).  I really still wasn't feeling well so I did a zombie walk around my house for I think 5 minutes but I didn't time myself.  I promptly crawled back into bed.  I did drink a glass of orange juice and 3 glasses of water.

 

Today I started out feeling better.  I had two hard boiled eggs and two pieces of bacon for breakfast.  I had a can of french style green beans (drained and replaced with new filtered water for less sodium) for lunch with 3 slices of turkey deli meat.  Only to find out that beans are vaguely paleo maybe depending on who you ask maybe.  But I still look at it as a victory since it's a vegetable!

 

Today is one of my scheduled body weight exercise days (M,W,F).  I still feel like blah from being sick, but I'm still going to do the warm-up at least then go for a walk around the block.  For those that haven't been keeping track the warm up for me is a work out in and of itself.  I think I'll do the cool down when I get back from the walk.  I haven't committed that stuff to memory, so I still have cheat sheets lying about.

I actually booted up Watch_Dogs on my PC and started playing for a half hour (got it on a steam sale).  While I was sprinting around and jumping over fences I thought to myself "Self: I should probably just go out and start walking, so I'll be capable of doing this stuff one day.  Not going to lose weight by playing video games."  So I begrudgingly agreed with myself, but decided to post an update here first since I neglected to do it yesterday.

 

And if you want to laugh I found this on Imgur and laughed at it.  Korean women trying a few different American snack foods.  Having had most of those I actually concur with a lot of their first impressions. 

 

It actually made me realize how little I'm missing junk food.  It was also a bit scary when she said that she didn't like but she found herself still wanting to eat it.  I took a step back while I was sick yesterday and tried to recall the things I had eaten 4 weeks ago.  When I couldn't recall anything I realized that all that matters was whether it was "good for me" or not.  If I keep shoving junk food into my face I won't be jumping over fences any time soon.  So forward thinking me is coping with cutting out the junk food far better than I thought. 

 

I looked in the deep freezer and there was a cheese pizza, bacon egg and cheese hotpockets, and bean and cheese burritos.  My brain cataloged all the contents and realized I don't eat that stuff anyone.  But it wasn't like a negative catalog (if that makes sense).  It was just like I was at the grocery store walking down the aisle and ignoring the things I didn't plan on buying.  It was that kind of mentality.  I took out some hamburger meat and broccoli for dinner.  I figured I'd look up something later to do with the meat.

 

If I'm honest the food I think I miss the most (here at week 2) is hum bao and sushi.  But I haven't had hum bao in YEARS since there doesn't seem to be a dim sum place in my area (and I don't own a steamer).  I love sushi but decided to stop eating rice.  I'm not a huge seafood fan to begin with usually so meh.

 

Off to walk before this becomes another wall of mess!

 

Sorry to hear about your viral infection. Hopefully it'll pass soon. Also, I dig the idea of keeping food & workout diary in a form of storytelling. In fact it's so nice I think I'm going to steal it (:

 

I noticed that reading this now is for me like a real-time adventure story with the possibility of interacting with the main character. Also, you're from America, and thus have a different mindset than I do, what makes it even more exciting. America is so distant for me that it may very well be Shire or Death Star or the Final Empire (the Mistborn one).

 

I have no education in fitness, but stretching your legs before taking a walk won't hurt, I guess (:

 

Feel free to steal my style!  If it helps you along on your own journey that's even more exciting.  I never actually thought of myself as a character in a story, but maybe that's something to process.  I'll have to decide if that helps me along my journey or if that might distance me too far from the process.  Either way, if it helps you and that's what you got out of it... I'll just let it happen!

 

Just typing it out like this helps make it real for me.  I can go back and read it later on and see how far I've come.  I thought about doing a blog or something, but you guys will probably help keep me more accountable for now.  Like all things... baby steps.

Also my camera is busted and I have yet to acquire another one.  I can't find the battery to the other one.  My camera phone just died as well.  I asked to borrow my mom's camera phone and when she brought it over it was disk read error.  So of all the things I may have given up on so far during this journey it's getting a photo lol.  As much as I want to capture a before photo it doesn't seem to be in the cards.  I'll ask if my dad's camera phone works and email them to myself I guess.  They'll be potato quality probably but at least there'll be a record.