Thrillho Posted September 14, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 14, 2015 It recently completely took over my Facebook feed, and... it makes me giggle. 1 Quote The cancer was aggressive, but the chemotherapy was aggressive, as well. There was aggression on both sides. Link to comment
Bullroarer Took Posted September 18, 2015 Report Share Posted September 18, 2015 Showing up to the gym in ankle socks and remembering its deadlift day... Quote "For us, there is no spring. Just the wind that smells fresh before the storm." Just remember that Scooty Puff jr sucks! Link to comment
Raze Posted September 18, 2015 Report Share Posted September 18, 2015 The prime CTR PM micromanaging everyone on the contract to include those who work for the sub. This is despite having a GS and a Capt as my first level leadership concurrent with my PM (the sub)..... Quote Level 1 Nord Epic Quest STR 3 | DEX 3 | STA 2 | CON 3 | WIS 3.5 | CHA 4 Original Challenge | 1ST | 2nd | joining the bebop | Return to the rangers | Spoiler "They wouldn't mind a corpse of you. Now, you can luxuriate in a nice jail cell, but if your hand touches metal, I swear, by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you." - Mal Link to comment
Murphy's Roommate Posted September 20, 2015 Report Share Posted September 20, 2015 http://www.nytimes.com/2015/09/20/us/marine-battalion-veterans-scarred-by-suicides-turn-to-one-another-for-help.html?_r=0 Read this, and wanted to smite badly. I get that there is real discussion over the wars, I get that there is disagreement over the ways, ends, and means... When an organization who's sole purpose is to support veterans cannot muster a single Doctor to talk to a veteran who just attempted suicide? Smite doesn't cover it. - Murphy's Roommate Quote Link to comment
Cherry Poppins Posted September 20, 2015 Report Share Posted September 20, 2015 Work. Other people running late = me running late. Grrr. 1 Quote I aim to misbehave. Battle log Link to comment
SevenofSeven Posted September 20, 2015 Report Share Posted September 20, 2015 I would like to smite my Mother into oblivion with a ray gun. 2 Quote Wait! What............? Link to comment
sylph Posted September 22, 2015 Report Share Posted September 22, 2015 I've needed this one, recently. Sigh. 2 Quote Link to comment
Mark D Posted September 22, 2015 Report Share Posted September 22, 2015 Things Mark is not allowed to do at work: After learning that the operator in the data center doesn't know how to do a job restart, suggest that he'd like to speak to someone with an IQ higher than room temperature. Mention that we never have time to do things right the first time, but always have time to redo them. Hum the Scarecrow's tune from The Wizard of Oz during staff meetings. Answer the phone "Psychiatric Center, which nut would you like to speak to?" Hand a tissue to the office apple-polisher and suggest he wipe his nose. Hand chap stick to same. Suggest that there's a better way to do things. Especially if there is. MOST especially if we've always done things this way. Ask a co-worker what it was like to ride the short bus to school. Suggest consanguinity as the reason for someone's behavior. Use this song: as his new-e-mail notification. Change his computer start-up tune from the Window's jingle to Johnny Paycheck's Take This Job and Shove it Suggest that the gene pool needs more chlorine. The proper response to learning that a co-worker is expecting a baby is "Congratulations", not "Great, now I'll have to do my job AND yours." Speculate on whether a lobotomy is a requirement for promotion. The correct response to someone's suggestion is "I'm not sure that would work", not "Whatever you've been drinking, I want some". Ask the Fire Safety Director why he didn't perform the daily test on the PA system on your floor that day (when he did). During orientation, ask if the insurance payment for Accidental Death and Dismemberment is paid for EACH dismemberment, or only the first (actually done at a former job, but not by me). March down the hall singing the cadence his father (a former Marine) taught him that begins "I knew a girl from Jersey City..." Or pretty much any other cadence from that source. Begin an e-mail with "Hello Muddah, hello Faddah". Conduct a detailed search of the office. When asked why, say "I'm looking for the video camera Scott Adams installed". Refer to his cubicle as "The Box". Refer to the people he leads as "Mark's Problem Children". When asked to comment on someone's strengths, state "He'd make good fertilizer if you ground him up small enough." When asked to evaluate software, suggesting that it's so buggy the company should merge with Raid may be true, but it's not helpful. Refer to users as "Houseplants". Suggest that someone has the IQ of a mentally deficient cockroach. Tell a manager she need not fear that he'll shoot her, if he were really upset with her he'd take more satisfaction from strangling her with his bare hands than shooting her. Upon learning of a manager's scheduled vacation, reply "Good, I can get some work done". Call in dead. Arrive at work the next day dressed and made-up as a zombie. Ask his manager if she bought stock in Sam Adams, because she's driving him to drink. When a co-worker asks what he should do, reply "Your job". Remind people that you can't hear them when they shake their head in reply to a question while on the phone. Suggest that the Screw-up Fairy has visited. Suggest that The Office is a documentary. Place rubber roaches in people's coffee cups. Place real roaches in people's coffee cups. Name the cockroaches. Name the fruit flies Name anything with six legs Name the spiders. Suggest to two co-workers that if you multiplied their IQs together they STILL couldn't qualify for Mensa. 6 Quote My character: https://www.nerdfitness.com/character/58572/ Current Challenge:http://rebellion.nerdfitness.com/index.php?/topic/83683-mark-d-walks-up-to-a-barbell/ Previous Challenges: 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Link to comment
Nedwin Posted September 24, 2015 Report Share Posted September 24, 2015 Getting a 45 on my College Mathematics CLEP (minimum passing score is 50) 1 Quote Level 2 Furyan Ranger You keep what you kill STR 3 | DEX 2 | STA 3 | CON 2 | WIS 2 | CHA 36.1 | 6.2 | Duolingo | Daily | Fitocracy Spoiler Captain Hammer: Have I seen you at the gym? Billy: [smiles] At the gym! Captain Hammer: [to himself] I don't go to the gym, I'm just naturally like this... Link to comment
insanity Posted September 24, 2015 Report Share Posted September 24, 2015 Getting a 45 on my College Mathematics CLEP (minimum passing score is 50)I went through three months of a class, ended the semester with a 69.... It was a bad class for me, and I busted my ass to get that 69..... passing was a 70. I saw the same teacher the next semester.... that became a running joke in the class after that. Quote "Insanity - you make my world a better place man, you really do! That shit is awesome! :D" - Guzzi- My first challenge My battle Log: Insanity: Warrior Monk Honorary Ranger dubbed by DarK_RaideR, 1000 Pound club (875 of 1000) Link to comment
Thrillho Posted September 24, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 24, 2015 Sympathy-smites: texting with my wife who is in her second year of environmental engineering and management... three people are currently crying in the road engineering class, which just started on Tuesday. Quote The cancer was aggressive, but the chemotherapy was aggressive, as well. There was aggression on both sides. Link to comment
insanity Posted September 24, 2015 Report Share Posted September 24, 2015 Sympathy-smites: texting with my wife who is in her second year of environmental engineering and management... three people are currently crying in the road engineering class, which just started on Tuesday. hahahahaha.... That's awesome... Quote "Insanity - you make my world a better place man, you really do! That shit is awesome! :D" - Guzzi- My first challenge My battle Log: Insanity: Warrior Monk Honorary Ranger dubbed by DarK_RaideR, 1000 Pound club (875 of 1000) Link to comment
Mark D Posted September 24, 2015 Report Share Posted September 24, 2015 Client installed a new version of the database software. Didn't bother to test the application before implementing in production. What could possibly go wrong? Lots and lots. Spent 2 1/2 hours last night fixing programs that have worked for DECADES, all while Operations calls me every 15 minutes to find out if I'm done yet because the stalled job is delaying the cycle. This, boys and girls, is why you TEST. I've spent 30 years as a programmer with a policy of "If it hasn't been tested it doesn't work. If it has been tested it probably STILL doesn't work, but at least you get the low-hanging fruit." 1 Quote My character: https://www.nerdfitness.com/character/58572/ Current Challenge:http://rebellion.nerdfitness.com/index.php?/topic/83683-mark-d-walks-up-to-a-barbell/ Previous Challenges: 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Link to comment
Tanktimus the Encourager Posted September 26, 2015 Report Share Posted September 26, 2015 Sympathy-smites: texting with my wife who is in her second year of environmental engineering and management... three people are currently crying in the road engineering class, which just started on Tuesday. 2 Quote Current Challenge "By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath Link to comment
Bullroarer Took Posted September 27, 2015 Report Share Posted September 27, 2015 Everytime google shows me an advert for a down jacket that isn't $400 it's only available in XXL, small or radioactive yellow. Quote "For us, there is no spring. Just the wind that smells fresh before the storm." Just remember that Scooty Puff jr sucks! Link to comment
Sylvaa Posted October 8, 2015 Report Share Posted October 8, 2015 Smiting that I can't grasp the English language today. Quote Sylvaa's BattleLog Sylvaa's Tracking Spreadsheet Link to comment
Thrillho Posted October 8, 2015 Author Report Share Posted October 8, 2015 Engineer: "Is there a reason you didn't do [thing]?"Me: "You didn't ask me to."Engineer: *sigh* "I suppose I didn't make myself clear."Me Thinking: "Yes. That is literally the one single fact binding together EVERY FUCKING THING YOU'VE EVER ASKED ME TO DO. HOW ABOUT THAT?!!?" 1 Quote The cancer was aggressive, but the chemotherapy was aggressive, as well. There was aggression on both sides. Link to comment
Raincloak Posted October 8, 2015 Report Share Posted October 8, 2015 I really should've entered this contest I'm judging, because 3/4 of the entries are total shit and there's cash prizes. Unfortunately, it's too late. Quote Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future. Hylian Assassin 5'5", 143 lbs. Half-marathon: 3:02It is pitch dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue. Link to comment
Fearkiller Posted October 10, 2015 Report Share Posted October 10, 2015 Note to self: During random surfing, when you see something that really inspires you,take a note. Url, name of the site, download it, whatever. Do it.Because you will not be able to find it later.Arrgghhh!!! Edit: Yes! Found it! *happy dance* Quote "There is beauty in hardship / There are poems in grief" -Assemblage 23, Damaged | STR:2.25 | DEX:2.25 | STA:2 | CON:1.25 | CHA:3.25 | WIS:7 | A place I will collect my woots - if I remember Challenges | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 15.1 | 15.2 | Milythaels' HOoRAY for which I am grateful | Today, right now, I am alive. And that is good. It is amazing the power of those small gestures of love and kindness have on our lives. <3 - Liberator "I myself am made entirely of flaws, stiched together with good intentions." - Augusten Burroughs, Magical thinking:True stories "Pick up the pieces and keep going, one painfully slow step at a time." - Hiraedd the twice-risen, hamadryad. "Spread love and understanding. Use force if necessary." - Leon Trotsky "Let me think about the people I care about the most, and when they fail or disappoint me, I still love them, I still give them chances, and I still see the best in them. Let me extend that generosity to myself." zefrank1, An Invocation for Beginnings "I don't feel guilty for wanting. That's like being mad because you have to breathe or pee. It just is." Someone in Reddit "If you do strange things, strange things will happen!" "That's it! Now go make something beautiful." -Jake Parker Link to comment
Raincloak Posted October 10, 2015 Report Share Posted October 10, 2015 Note to self: During random surfing, when you see something that really inspires you,take a note. Url, name of the site, download it, whatever. Do it.Because you will not be able to find it later.Arrgghhh!!!Use the bookmark button? Quote Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future. Hylian Assassin 5'5", 143 lbs. Half-marathon: 3:02It is pitch dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue. Link to comment
Fearkiller Posted October 10, 2015 Report Share Posted October 10, 2015 Use the bookmark button?Or... Yeah. That. Quote "There is beauty in hardship / There are poems in grief" -Assemblage 23, Damaged | STR:2.25 | DEX:2.25 | STA:2 | CON:1.25 | CHA:3.25 | WIS:7 | A place I will collect my woots - if I remember Challenges | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 15.1 | 15.2 | Milythaels' HOoRAY for which I am grateful | Today, right now, I am alive. And that is good. It is amazing the power of those small gestures of love and kindness have on our lives. <3 - Liberator "I myself am made entirely of flaws, stiched together with good intentions." - Augusten Burroughs, Magical thinking:True stories "Pick up the pieces and keep going, one painfully slow step at a time." - Hiraedd the twice-risen, hamadryad. "Spread love and understanding. Use force if necessary." - Leon Trotsky "Let me think about the people I care about the most, and when they fail or disappoint me, I still love them, I still give them chances, and I still see the best in them. Let me extend that generosity to myself." zefrank1, An Invocation for Beginnings "I don't feel guilty for wanting. That's like being mad because you have to breathe or pee. It just is." Someone in Reddit "If you do strange things, strange things will happen!" "That's it! Now go make something beautiful." -Jake Parker Link to comment
Guzzi Posted October 20, 2015 Report Share Posted October 20, 2015 Call in dead.Arrive at work the next day dressed and made-up as a zombie.Sir, I salute you! Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk which is a pile of shite Quote Make Life Rue The Day Turning back the clock Recipe book 14 Life is far too short to take seriously Link to comment
Mark D Posted October 20, 2015 Report Share Posted October 20, 2015 How does anyone manage to make THAT much of a mess in the men's room at work? How did they get poop not only on TOP of the toilet seat, but on the toilet BEHIND the seat AND on the (expletive deleted) wall the toilet is attached to????? Did you not complete the task of sitting before you ejected, or are you one of those germophobes who just must HOVER while evacuating your bowels? If was truly Lovecraftian. I felt sorry for the poor soul who had to clean up that mess, and I seriously expected return to find the stall door locked and a sign stating "Out Of Order" rather than having it cleaned. Quote My character: https://www.nerdfitness.com/character/58572/ Current Challenge:http://rebellion.nerdfitness.com/index.php?/topic/83683-mark-d-walks-up-to-a-barbell/ Previous Challenges: 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Link to comment
SevenofSeven Posted October 20, 2015 Report Share Posted October 20, 2015 Maybe his butt is attached to his lower back and not between the crack?Chilli for dinner?Believe me some women's bathrooms can be just as nasty! Quote Wait! What............? Link to comment
Ahyar Dreamspark Posted October 21, 2015 Report Share Posted October 21, 2015 Construction on the way to work this morning. This has been going on for months now, but this morning the light was green for my lane and yet the looooong line of cars in the opposite lane just kept coming. And coming. And coming. And coming. The line of cars in the lane I was in ended up not moving for two entire green lights. WTF. Quote Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.