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Teros - XV - The Purge


Teros

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I just... I don't even... I can't... I mean, like...

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YEAH YEAH YEAH-YEAH OHHH-

YEAH YEAH YEAH-YEAH OHHH-

YEAH YEAH YEAH-YEAH OHHH-

 

 

Mainly just really old and dirty. Vacuum all you want, shampoo all you want, you will never get all the dirt and dust out. Pull up an old carpet and marvel at the dirt that fell through to the floor. And then wonder about all the dirt that's left in what you pulled up.

 

Well I ask because I have a couple of rugs that are really really short- to the point that they don't seem dirty at all. I've never walked around on them and had my socks start to look dingy, ya know?

 

Hi, friend

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What is up with you?
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Weird headspace right now. Yesterday I was feeling down in the dumps and I couldn't shake the feeling. Spent a lot of time with Heidi. Kept the emotions at bay; but once it was dark out I starting getting that...itch.

 

How many of you know when depression is coming from a mile away? And when it's getting closer, your brain wants to fight it but at the same time is kind of getting anxious because you're not sure what to do in this situation.  It's like dreading a needle shot or something.  Even if you don't physically cringe, mentally you can practically feel yourself wincing and wanting to just move. Go somewhere. Anywhere.

 

That's where I was last night.  I brought my phone, my laptop, and a flashlight (Slenderman, obviously) and proceeded to walk for a while. Not very far- maybe a mile.  There is a trail called the 'greenway' which is right outside Heidi's place. This greenway runs partially parallel with

 

*break*

 

Made Viv some ravioli.

 

Anyways, the greenway runs partially parallel with a big river. It's pretty cool looking.  After I had walked around a little bit, I decided to set up camp. I was texting a little bit since there were actually bars on my phone (VA apparently has crap reception and plenty of dead zones).  I got around to writing about what I was feeling and the reasons why.  I won't go into detail with it yet because that's not the weird headspace, oddly enough.

 

Fast-forward to today.  Everything fine and dandy. Heidi got great news, we hung out and ran some errands (along with morning workout where I used some freeweights instead of a

 

*Ok, now viv is literally choking herself with the top of my laptop and her head is in front of me writign.  *

 

Um, I guess I'll tryt o do this without any mistakes. Let's see how many I make without editing because there's a human head in my way .

 

*nvm- moved*

 

I used freeweights instead of a medicine ball and did some shrugs, bicep curls, overhead press, and some pushups while Heidi did yoga on her mat.

 

Everything with today has been just fine.  Watched a new show which was surprisingly good (Daredevil), got to a bunch of threads (but there's always more to check out), and ate great.

 

The headspace time happened just a few minutes ago. I was sorting through a bunch of documents and I stumbled across a message from 9/28/09.

 

 

*viv just took my mouse. sec*

 

*Ok. I got the mouse back.  Viv says, "I want you to keep me company!" I asked, "So do you want me to sit on the couch with you instead?" *

 

*nods*

 

Continuing to write on the couch. I see a message from sept 2009.  And the weird thing is, I was writing about the-

 

*I'm..... being hit in the leg with a flower.   "I'm dusting!"  Sure Viv. Sure.

 

Why is it that when I'm going to write something big this happens?  I guess it'll have to wait.

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I am loving the image of Viv dusting you with a flower.  Sometimes kids are hysterical.  Stay positive.  You put so much good energy out into the world.  Don't let the little things pull you down.  Unless  they are dusting you, that is different.

  • Like 4

Cathelas the Level 3 Half-Orc

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It is a scientific fact that being dusted by a child can cure head space issues.

 

in reality - while your posting is now going to make me sit up all night waiting for the rest of the story - appreciate the Viv time!  I am sure she will help pull you out of any funk! *Also, she is super adorable and now I want a little girl*

  • Like 5
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"Why is it when I'm going to write something big like this happens? " wait, you've been dusted with a flower by a viv before?

I am in a weird head space too...and I've not been able to write either.

Yes, I smell depression a mile away. Sometimes it's like a sad that starts with no reason, then grows in I don't take care of it when it's a little sad.

Thinking of you bro! Remember relationship theory at this time. ..do not shut out those that love you!

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In His hands and Under His wings, Phil 4:13; Is 40:31; Jer 29:11
 Adventurer by choice

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seriously one of the cutest things i've read. she just wants her teros time.

hope the head space gets clear

 

  • Like 5

LEVEL: 7 Furyan Ranger - Battle Log - in lieu of this challenge

don't look back, we aren't going that way:

Rebirth - Wrestlemania Dark Raider vs KZacher

From Tartarus with Love - Wrath of the Furyan - it's a secret! - FIGHT! - You can go your own way - The Rational Gaze - Rise from Death to Knife this Beast(part 3-the agony) - Demonized(part 2) -  By Demons Be Driven(part 1) -

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So time-line wise; I didn't write last night.  Viv and Graeme stayed up late watching vids with me.  While I went to the bathroom and Heidi came out to make sure everyone went to bed.  It was late at that point so I crashed as well.

 

This morning everyone seemed to sleep late...except me. Never can. Don't think I ever will.  Heidi sent Viv out and then we worked out together for a bit. I did a little extra once she left. I *think* 60lb curls, 95lb chest press, 60lb overhead press- couple sets each after my cardio with Heidi *bow-chicka-wow-wow*.  The soreness inmy left knee is mostly gone now, which I'm assuming is from all the walks.  I have roughly 3 miles (slight incline) done for the week's mini and hope to get the majority done after tomorrow.  I'm not including nature walks since I have no idea about distance. I'm only counting treadmill uphill walks.

 

---

 

So where was I?

 

Two days ago I was feeling a wave of depression coming from a mile away.  Went for a walk, brought my laptop, and wrote a bit.  The weird headspace came the following day.  I was organizing some files and I came across some old writings of mine. Pre-NF, I used to have a journal. My penmanship is shit, always has been, always will be. It's close to Dr's chicken scratch.  The reason is because I can't get the words out of my head and onto paper fast enough. I think a thousand-times faster than I could ever write. Text though.... typing up things are able to come pretty close to how fast I speak. I haven't ever really checked my words per minute, but I can safely assume that it's on the higher end compared to most people.  For instance this paragraph took about a minute to write.

 

(Testing: I re-wrote the above paragraph and it took me 1 min, 30 sec. What's that in wrp?)

 

Sidetracking- my point is that I have always typed once I learned how because 1) It's neater than my writing so I can actually read it afterwards (yes, sometimes it's that bad) and 2) My hands can keep up.

 

I stumble across a message I wrote dated from 9/28/09.  The freaky thing - I was writing about the exact same subject as the night before. It had to deal with trust, honesty, showing your true self, and the consequences of such actions.  It blew me away.  I usually have a shorter range of what I consider 'starter topics' and then my train of thought goes off the rails and I write about more interesting stuff.  However this particular subject isn't one that I write much about. The juxtaposition (fancy-shmancy) of the same content made me feel a bit off.

 

In both texts, I write about why it is so difficult for people to face their true selves and simply talk to people with honesty instead of veiling truths and deflecting information. Sometimes what people don't say is just as important as what they do say.  Why did it take so long for a response? Why was something else answered indirectly?  Non-verbal cues when talking about subject matter.

 

I can recall how I felt back in September 09. I felt the emotions course through me once again as I read my own writing.  I think because I don't try to impress and literally put down words in the moment, I can reconnect that instantly and feel precisely how I felt during the time of writing.  What's even more eerie about this is when I lost my place and read something afterwards, I wrote this exactly, "i'm sick of talking and writing this but i know i'll need it one day".  Exact same subject just hours ago that I never write about, random chance from 6 years ago, and as I reflect on it, my past self knew that I would eventually need this.

 

Sometimes I freak myself out.

 

In re-learning about the information that I wrote; it's got the hamster wheel running.  If by completely random f#cking chance I found the exact same rare writing discussing this- how long have I been thinking it in my life? Obviously it's been well over 6 years since I was annoyed enough to write about it then. I tend to have ideas float around in my head; but they won't manifest until a trigger occurs.  I wrote about the trigger in Sept'09 and what's even more messed up was that it was the same trigger from the other day.  Wheel spinning faster.  What other instances do I have of this?  When else would this have bothered me to this extent?  I excavate.

 

 

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When I was with my ex, I felt like this and even had talks about it. When was that? That's age 18. 2003
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Perhaps grade school?  6th grade about I can recall being told about how I have to be 'civilized' and act a certain way.
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There is a general vagueness as I try and pinpoint anything more than that.  I have feelings of never thinking I was good enough. Feelings that me being myself, my true self, should be shunned.  Considered a weirdo from a multitude of people. Offbeat.  Outcast.  'Thin line between genius and insanity'  If anyone ever gave enough of a shit to let me explain my logic, it made perfect sense.  "People are just supposed to act that way."
 
I learned that shutting myself off and pretending that I'm someone else was the safer route. It was the one that spared me pain....
 
But has it? Has trying to keep up a facade ever truly helped me in the long run? Sure, in the short-term it makes sense since avoidance means you don't get a chance to fail or to fuck up.  There's no bad 1st impressions if there is NO 1st impression ever. That's a 100% success rate.  Stay closed off. Don't laugh when you want to. Don't sing when you want to. Don't be yourself when you want to.
 
And everyone is playing this game.  It's all some sort of elaborate lie that we grew up learning about - don't talk about X, Y, or Z. Don't do this. Don't do that.  Don't discuss this with this person.  Don't bring up sensitive subjects. Don't act 'out of line'.  Don't be yourself.  Because somehow, some way, yourself just isn't good enough.  It's taught that it's better to pretend just like everyone else is pretending.  "Oh you like this stuff?  I do to"  Lie.  Your stuff is STUPID.  "That's a real nice ___ you have."
It's not nice. It's ugly and it's dumb.
 
That's not acceptable. Not agreeable. Disagreement means you're an asshole.  That means noone likes you.
 
-I have a friend and he never likes anything and he never hates anything. He just agrees with what's being said. It's maddening. I'll purposly play devil's advocate with him and see if he's bullshitting me. He is. He has no interest in being interested in anything.  Despite knowing him for.... 15ish years, if you asked me questions about his interests, his family, anything really pertaining past water-cooler chit-chat; I'd have nothing for you.
 
He's the friend hub. Everyone knows him. If people are hanging out, he is invited and he invites others.  People are connected to each other via his knowing, but no one actually knows him.
 
Isn't that tragic? Isn't that so f#cking weird when thought about that this person really couldn't be more generic about anything in life; surrounded by people, but completely alone since no one even knows him?
 
Before it's asked- I've tried to learn. Just like with playing devil's advocate.  There's nothing there besides some comic book stuff and some tech gadgets.  When I challenge either of those subjects, he gives up. He shrugs, doesn't 'get' what I mean when I think it's pointless to have a few hundred gigs because I don't have some sort of insane library.  "But it has a couple hundred gigs"  like somehow saying the exact same sentence will make me realize, "YOU'RE RIGHT! I DO NEED THIS!"
 
 
People don't like the real you if you're just pretending to be someone else, right?  If we're just pretending, hiding, building walls.
 
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Yet I am being me, here on NF.  And look what's happened.  I've only not gotten along with.. erm...4ish people. 1 needed some serious medical help and refused to discuss things. The other 3 hated the discussion of my stance on Adventurers (Hint- Non-Adventurers).  Besides that, I mean....I've talked to hundreds of people on here and I haven't lied about stuff.  So then what is the fear of not being oneself coming from?
 
This is why I love all of you and truly mean it.  I'm myself. Just myself. And I realized I'm worth something and when I talk to a lot of you in your threads (or moreso in PMs).... you're all worth something and awesome too.
  • Like 10
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I know exactly what you mean, friend. Unfortunately, I got hated regularly and often for being who I am. Still better than lying.

I think you're pretty amazing just the way you are.

Sent from my KFAPWA using Tapatalk

  • Like 3

&Heidi
Amazon of the Way

Gypsy Druid Paladin

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I know exactly what you mean, friend. Unfortunately, I got hated regularly and often for being who I am. Still better than lying.

 

I've talked to you about this in person and listen to me Heidi; those people you dealt with are scumbags and assholes and don't deserve someone special like you to be in their life.  You're beautiful and worth more than you give yourself credit for. Understand?  Their hatred is unwarranted and a sick perversion for their own insecurities and failures as people.

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I've talked to you about this in person and listen to me Heidi; those people you dealt with are scumbags and assholes and don't deserve someone special like you to be in their life. You're beautiful and worth more than you give yourself credit for. Understand? Their hatred is unwarranted and a sick perversion for their own insecurities and failures as people.

Totally going on my positivity wall.

Sent from my KFAPWA using Tapatalk

  • Like 5

&Heidi
Amazon of the Way

Gypsy Druid Paladin

Ranger Year 1: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 

Druid Year 2: 8 | 9 | 1011  | 12 | 13 |Year 3: 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |Year 4: 1920 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 |Year 5: 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 |Year 6: 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 |Year 7: 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53| 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 |Year 8: 61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 |

Local Foods Guru | Financial Freedom Fighter | Minimalism Yoda | Smaug-Slayer
Heidi Chronicles My NF Character Sheet | @theheidifeed | Amazon of Awesome | MySlashdotKarmaIsExcellent

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I'm way late, but I just caught up on your adventures this challenge. 

 
In the spirit of being real, I'm going to share a story with you that I don't share often.  
 
I had a roommate. This roommate was supposed to be my best friend. We were very close, but we were a completely awful influence on each other. We'd go out and get black out drunk which resulted in a lot of poor decision making. We'd then console each other through hangovers and justify our bad decisions to one another.  Lather, rinse, repeat.  
 
Because this relationship turned me into such a toxic person, my other friendships dwindled. Also, as my roommate became part of my social circles, I found out through her that many of the people that I considered close friends were talking about me behind my back. Slowly I became more isolated and my roommate became the only person I thought was there for me. 
 
Our relationship started to turn sour, as most relationships that anchored in alcohol, partying, and bad decisions will. I felt trapped in my own home and escaped whenever I could, but since most of my friendships had dwindled down to non-existence, I had nowhere to escape and nobody to confide in.
 
The problems came to a head one night when we had been out drinking. It's a long story, but it ended with me being locked out of my apartment with no cell phone. I was forced to call my mom as her number is one of the very few numbers I know by heart. With the encouragement of my parents, I moved out the next day and moved home. 
 
I was mortified by the entire experience and knew that my roommate was spreading horrible and embarrassing information around about me. I could have done the same, but that simply isn't me... I don't have a vindictive bone in my body and seeking revenge only makes me feel worse. Instead, I went dark. I ignored phone calls and IMs from friends and started sliding into major depression. 
 
Prior to this, I had made plans for a weekend getaway with a newer friend that was a mutual friend of roommate and that was to take place a few weeks after I moved out. The night that things came to a head between roommate and I, roommate told me that this new friend had said some pretty abysmal things about me. I believed her. New friend called me to confirm those plans, and I told her I really wasn't up to it and that I was aware what she really thought of me and it was cool, I understood, but I didn't want to go on the trip knowing the truth. New friend informed that she had never even spoken to roommate on the phone and that she only tolerated roommate because she thought I was awesome... she couldn't even understand how roommate and I were friends. 
 
Slowly, I learned that roommate had been lying to my friends. (I want to note here that they really were MY friends... she brought no friendships to the group and these were all people I was friends with long before I met her.) She had been lying to my friends so that they thought I was talking shit about them and lying to me so that I thought they were talking shit about me. While this should have made me feel better, I was angry at myself for being so blind and my life fell into even more of a mess... my parents live in a rural area outside of the city and living there meant I was even more disconnected from friendships that were already fractured and hurting from all of this mess. 
 
(New friend was a friend I met through an internet music community, by the way. Part of the reason I decided to share this story is because I see a bit of a parallel between the importance of NF to you in times of darkness and the importance of the amazing connections I made through internet music communities through this experience and beyond... some of these people remain my pillars in life to this day and this story is circa 2004.)
 
Well, a couple of things happened over time that were vital in me overcoming this mess. First of all, new friend became a good friend, and many years later became my best friend. We went on that weekend trip and I was able to pour my heart out about everything that transpired between roommate and I, including the many things I was not proud of about myself in that whole mess. She listened, gave me perspective, and loved me even when I did not love myself. Over time we shared a lot with each other about moments in time we were not proud of and it was so very cathartic to share those experiences with someone in order to let them go. 
 
Secondly, I was low for a long time after all of this transpired, but there was one particular day in which I was so low I didn't know if I would ever recover. Looking back I wouldn't say I was suicidal, but maybe I was and time has healed me enough that I can't quite recall what it was even like to be there. I'm not even sure how it became known that this day was as bad as it was for me... maybe I posted somewhere or maybe I talked to friends individually. That's not important, really, but what is important is two friends that I have through music, neither of which live locally to me and neither of which know each other (two separate music communities) reached out to me on that day. They each sent me an mp3 (this was back before every song known to man could be found on youtube), and they each shared with me that this was their own, personal "bad day song". 
 
I cannot tell you how many times I listened to these two songs in the coming days, weeks, and months. I cried my eyes out the first time I listened to each... that someone would share something that was so deeply personal with me in order to lift me up was both uplifting and hard to understand. I hated myself so much that it was really difficult to accept love from others, but that day I found it within myself to accept this gift from these two friends. These songs remain in my heart to this day. It may seem like a small gesture, but this was truly the beginning of my healing... I began to learn how to be loved again. 
 
With that, I give you the gift that was given to me many years ago. This is my "bad day song". 
 
 
 
Edit: Holy crap I didn't realize what a wall of text this would end up being. Also, I'm an idiot and cannot figure out how to embed the youtube video. Fail! 
  • Like 9

There is a road, no simple highway,
Between the dawn and the dark of night,
And if you go no one may follow,
That path is for your steps alone.

 

Respawn. | #1 | Current Challenge.

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IThis is my "bad day song". 

 

 

Just copy/paste the URL.  When you click the address bar and it highlights the whole thing? Just CTRL+C and then CTRL+V that and you're good to go. (At least for me.)

 

I'll respond more tomorrow, but I would like to point out that I listened to that about 3 days ago.  There's so much depth in that song.  It gets so specific and meta at the same time.  There's a reason the garbage-man by my house has said, 'Uncle JERRY!'

 

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Right- Me.  Left - Mick Foley/Mankind.

 

If EricMN wanted to start a meme right now like he said he was going to, he could post my 'success' pic that he liked which is a more updated picture of me.

 

(P.S.I also have glasses that I never wear. Definitely more Jerry-like.)

 

(Edit- someone remind me of VA beard love. It's frigging weird.)

  • Like 6
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Just copy/paste the URL.  When you click the address bar and it highlights the whole thing? Just CTRL+C and then CTRL+V that and you're good to go. (At least for me.)

 

I'll respond more tomorrow, but I would like to point out that I listened to that about 3 days ago.  There's so much depth in that song.  It gets so specific and meta at the same time.  There's a reason the garbage-man by my house has said, 'Uncle JERRY!'

 

 

I did that, but it didn't work. I guess I'm just not meant to embed videos... I don't think that post needed to be any longer anyway (uhh, sorry for all the scrolling I added to your challenge thread...)

 

It's so funny how you describe that song... I actually spent about 20 minutes trying to tell you WHY that song means so much to me and I just couldn't put it into words because it honestly depends on where I am at emotionally at the moment I am listening. It means so many different things to me that I could write another post the length of the last one and still not adequately cover it. I love that you already know and love the song... no wonder I like you so much! Seriously, not everyone can listen to a song like that and get the layers of meaning in such seemingly simple lyrics, and I love that you get me in that way. So cool! 

  • Like 2

There is a road, no simple highway,
Between the dawn and the dark of night,
And if you go no one may follow,
That path is for your steps alone.

 

Respawn. | #1 | Current Challenge.

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 I love that you already know and love the song... no wonder I like you so much! Seriously, not everyone can listen to a song like that and get the layers of meaning in such seemingly simple lyrics, and I love that you get me in that way. So cool! 

 

*checks for write-up i did for the song a few months ago*

 

AHA!

 

The lyrics:

If my words did glow with the gold of sunshine

And my tunes were played on the harp unstrung,

Would you hear my voice come through the music?

Would you hold it near as it were your own?

It's a hand-me-down, the thoughts are broken,

Perhaps they're better left unsung.

I don't know, don't really care

Let there be songs to fill the air.

Ripple in still water,

When there is no pebble tossed,

Nor wind to blow.

Reach out your hand if your cup be empty,

If your cup is full may it be again,

Let it be known there is a fountain,

That was not made by the hands of men.

There is a road, no simple highway,

Between the dawn and the dark of night,

And if you go no one may follow,

That path is for your steps alone.

Ripple in still water,

When there is no pebble tossed,

Nor wind to blow.

You, who choose to lead, must follow

But if you fall you fall alone.

If you should stand then who's to guide you?

If I knew the way I would take you home.

------

 

The breakdown:

"If my words did glow with the gold of sunshine

And my tunes were played on the harp unstrung,

Would you hear my voice come through the music?

Would you hold it near as it were your own?"

 

If you were to hear the goodness in this music and replay it; whether it be to remake it, or to listen to it; would you truly understand the message that I'm trying to convey?  Would you get this message and embrace what I'm speaking about as a philosophy on life and make this message your own message that shapes yourself?

 

(Told you this was good.)

 

"It's a hand-me-down, the thoughts are broken,

Perhaps they're better left unsung.

I don't know, don't really care

Let there be songs to fill the air."

 

This is probably a similar message that has been told before; which means that you may not get the whole message. Maybe, it's better off if you don't understand this song because only understanding some of it might be a bastardized version of the message.  I don't know for sure and ultimately it doesn't matter.  I need to be selfish and tell this story for myself so let song fill the air.

 

(It's a song about a song.  It's already music inception. It gets way better.)

 

"Ripple in still water,

When there is no pebble tossed,

Nor wind to blow."

 

Here is where some religious imagery starts to take place.  Ripple in still water without any 'source' of the ripple is like humanity. It exists, it lives, it dies, and is disappears. Much like the term 'ashes to ashes, dust to dust.'  This also challenges the idea of there being a creator. Now, it wouldn't seem like there is that much info in this short bit; but when looking through the rest of the song, this can be deduced.

 

"Reach out your hand if your cup be empty,

If your cup is full may it be again,

Let it be known there is a fountain,

That was not made by the hands of men."

 

Again, some religious imagery about god making sure that his people will be given what they need in life, but maybe not what they want. A non-religious way can be taken by saying that he just hopes everyone has good fortune/luck.  The singer is saying that if you don't have what you need, you will get it eventually. Those with good fortune, he hopes will continue to get good fortune. Here is where we see the heart of this story. No matter where you are in life, he is wishing you the best for you.  The 'fountain'/hands of man, is a reference to the fountain of youth, I believe- which can be tied with there being a richness and life beyond what we know.

 

"There is a road, no simple highway,

Between the dawn and the dark of night,

And if you go no one may follow,

That path is for your steps alone."

 

The entire 'road' in this is talking about life. No one's life is a simple straight highway. It is a winding and dangerous road with a whole set of obstacles.  Dawn/Dark is life/death.  So over the course of your life and death, you have a full and varied life with all of it's ups and downs.  No one may follow the same path, because we are all unique. If we followed someone else's life, it wouldn't be our own. Our road/path is for us only- no one else can walk it. We are all unique in this journey that we are embarking on.

 

"Ripple in still water,

When there is no pebble tossed,

Nor wind to blow."

 

Reaffirmation. Also note that flicking of the piano to sound like ripples of music. Awesome.

 

Here we go. This is why I love the song...

 

"You, who choose to lead, must follow

But if you fall you fall alone.

If you should stand then who's to guide you?

If I knew the way I would take you home."

 

You, whatever ideology or school of thought that you decide to follow, go for it.  However, if you make a mistake on that long road of light and dark, since this is your path alone; no one else can help you. Ultimately, you are alone in this journey.  If you decide you still stand and not follow someone else, then who is supposed to guide you? How are you supposed to navigate if you have no moral compass or ideology to ascribe to?

 

If I knew the answers on how to help you in this journey, then I would help you. I would take you home.

 

-----

 

Now think of the song in it's entirety.  He has a message and hopes the person does not misconstrue it, but there's no way to tell if telling this story/message is good or bad (again, linking to the very last lines. He can't make you follow this school of thought. He can't guarantee that you won't have missteps and falls along your unique path.)

 

Whatever the case, this is a song from legends past being retold with a personal touch.  May whatever fortune that you have been dealt on this road, there is wishing for the best possible outcome and a bit of good luck.

 

This path if yours alone and I can't show you the way, but if I could; then I would because I want the best for you and consequentially, all of mankind.

----

 

Just for good measure, this is the version that I have bookmarked:

Link to post

*checks for write-up i did for the song a few months ago*

 

AHA!

 

 

I had an extremely rough morning... reading this helped turn my mood around. I love your interpretation - I have never thought about the theme of religion (or non-religion, which in a way can be its own religion) before so it was fun to listen with your thoughts in mind. Robert Hunter really was a lyrical genius who, in my opinion, has no equal. 

 

The version of Ripple you linked is one of my favorites - just what I needed on this particularly bad day. I miss Jerry. 

 

When I have some time (if you're interested) I'll share some of the personal meaning I take from the song. That's one of my favorite things about Hunter/Garcia songs... there's a story being told that can be interpreted objectively in so many ways, but there are also layers of meaning that can be absolutely different depending on what the listener is bringing to the experience. As an example, when I was in LA in 2013 to see Furthur I had this extremely happy blissful moment during Black Peter:

 

See here how everything

lead up to this day

and it's just like

any other day

that's ever been 

Sun goin up

And then the 

Sun it goin down

Shine through my window

and my friends they come around 

 

It was sunset. I was there with one of my best friends and the person who introduced me to the Grateful Dead. And even though I know these lyrics are about death, I had a moment where they spoke to me in a different way: the stars aligned for me to make this perfect moment happen in this beautiful venue (see here how everything lead up to this day) but it's just a brief moment in time (and it's just like any other day that's ever been). That's okay, though, because it's sunset, and I'm with friends near and dear to my heart (sun goin up and then the sun it goin down... and my friends they come around). 

  • Like 2

There is a road, no simple highway,
Between the dawn and the dark of night,
And if you go no one may follow,
That path is for your steps alone.

 

Respawn. | #1 | Current Challenge.

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Ok, Ok. I'm listening to the song.

(and yes, it's awesome already.)

&Heidi
Amazon of the Way

Gypsy Druid Paladin

Ranger Year 1: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 

Druid Year 2: 8 | 9 | 1011  | 12 | 13 |Year 3: 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |Year 4: 1920 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 |Year 5: 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 |Year 6: 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 |Year 7: 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53| 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 |Year 8: 61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 |

Local Foods Guru | Financial Freedom Fighter | Minimalism Yoda | Smaug-Slayer
Heidi Chronicles My NF Character Sheet | @theheidifeed | Amazon of Awesome | MySlashdotKarmaIsExcellent

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So it's been an amazing day, and Teros got to watch the weirdness that is two alpha chicks talking at pace without caring about who hears them.

It was pretty cool.

:)

  • Like 6

&Heidi
Amazon of the Way

Gypsy Druid Paladin

Ranger Year 1: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 

Druid Year 2: 8 | 9 | 1011  | 12 | 13 |Year 3: 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |Year 4: 1920 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 |Year 5: 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 |Year 6: 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 |Year 7: 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53| 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 |Year 8: 61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 |

Local Foods Guru | Financial Freedom Fighter | Minimalism Yoda | Smaug-Slayer
Heidi Chronicles My NF Character Sheet | @theheidifeed | Amazon of Awesome | MySlashdotKarmaIsExcellent

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