Heidi: Surrender

[Heidi]

I'm going through a really rough patch, emotionally.
I'm cleaning up a bunch of messes, and that's never fun, often overwhelming, and in this case there is plenty of drama too.

So I am trying to find focus and balance, a calm within the chaos, peace within the storm.

Legal Stuff: There is a list of Horrible Things that I have to do, that simply must be done for my own well being and that of my family. This list was begun last challenge and will likely continue on through this one. STA +5

• Filings - not necessary! Complete
• ​Restraining Order - not necessary
• Endangerment - not necessary

[*]​Hearings:

• Restraining Order - 4/22 Dismissed
• Recognizance - 4/28
• ​Custody 4/24 - 5/4: I stopped fighting. Ethan now lives with my mother and I wish them both all the best.
• Visitation - 5/4 complete. First visitation is scheduled for June 
• Guardian ad litem - complete 4/19
• Support - 7/22
• Garnishment (might not happen until after this challenge, but there is work to do in the time leading up to this hearing) preliminary settlement complete. Hearing will be a formality now. 4/17 to sign paperwork. Hearing is in early June.

Hearth & Home: I worked my tail off the last few weeks of last challenge to straighten up the home, and it looks pretty good. There are a few things remaining to do, and of course there is always maintenance that is a daily necessity. CHA +5

• Vivian's Bunk 4/10/2015 complete
• My Office 4/16 complete
• ​Side Table - to storage 4/18 complete
• Sort and store paperwork 5/4
• Organize current legal filings 4/15, 5/5 complete
• Organize work projects - 4/17 - project complete 4/24

[*]​House & Stuff

• ​Donate books - 4/15
• Return books to PH -- give to my Mom since they are Ethan's
• Return cello to PH -- Ooops! Still here!
• Clean out Ethan's Room -- DONE! (Thanks Teros!)
  • ​Loft
  • Bookcases
  • Footlocker
  • Clothing
• ​Reorganize Girls' Room - 5/14 complete
• Clean up Computer
  • remove extraneous programs - 5/15 complete
  • Set up backup drive and program - 4/10 complete

[*]​Fruit & Vegetables

• ​Clean out fridge every Monday or Tuesday before Vegetables come -- totally on track with this! (go me!)
  Week One - complete
  Week Two - Complete
  Week Three - complete
  Week Four - Complete
  Week Five - Complete
  Week Six - Complete
   
• Cook good food every day
  Week One 7/7
  Week Two 7/7
  Week Three - kinda lost my footing this week 4/7
  Week Four 5/7
  Week Five 5/7 (the other two days we ate leftovers)
  Week Six - 7/7
   
• Final Payment for Fruit & Vegetables -- pending for next challenge

Mind, Body & Soul CON +5

• Attend therapy as scheduled by the transition team- complete, as this is now part of Ethan's management file at my mother's
• Doctor appointments as scheduled - Great work on this all challenge so far.
• Annual Exam 4/14
• Mammogram
• Therapy - 5/13
• B12 shot monthly (twice during this challenge) -- oops. Missed this once.
• D3 weekly
  Week One - complete
  Week Two - Complete
  Week Three - Complete
  Week Four - Complete
  Week Five - Missed
  Week Six - Complete
• Kung Fu when possible
  Did workouts in weeks two and five, but no kung fu.
  Steps are up, and food choices are excellent, since I went Whole30 starting week five.
   
• Meetings daily
  Week One: 7/7
  Week Two: 7/7
  Week Three: 6/7
  Week Four:7/7
  Week Five:7/7
  Week Six:7/7

Also, I started a new job as a paralegal, and have finally made a career change. Bonus, I love the firm and the type of law they practice. I need to keep my center enough to be as good an employee as possible. This is kind of pass or fail, as I either find my footing and succeed or flail around and lose their confidence in me. WIS +5

Week One: Not enough progress. Need to focus and find time.
Week Two: Delivered project piece on Monday. 85% of project one.

Week Three: Delivered Project.

Week Four: Delivered several small project pieces.

Week Five: Got a beautiful huge assignment and wonderful feedback on the quality of my work!!

Week Six: Motivation and time management fail -- need to pull this one up by the bootstraps

[Heidi]

Today's Stats:

Weight: 146.5

 

Other Measurements pending.

[astormofsparkle]

I cannot imagine how much emotional weight that puts on a person, but just know that your NF friends and family will help you along the way as much as possible. <3

[Sunmage]

Hey,

 

Glad you are back and doing well!

 

You will be fine!

Good luck!

[DarK_RaideR]

Signing up for random support. For the Rebellion!

[Jakkals]

Good luck.

[Ahyar Dreamspark]

...Wow. The mess you have to clean up after is one of epic proportions. I hope everything goes as smoothly as possible!

[LittleTurtle]

Goodness, I'm sorry to hear about the rough patch!  The good news is: you can't control the outcome, but you can control your actions.

 

 

Good luck, friend!

[Heidi]

Vivian's loft is complete.

Sent from my KFAPWA using Tapatalk

[DarK_RaideR]

Looks amazing!

[LittleTurtle]

She looks so happy!  

[Heidi]

Went to group tonight, and it was very centering. I am glad I have folks to talk with as I'm going through all this crap. It can be emotional and overwhelming.

The house is clean, the laundry is done, and Vivian hopped into the shower with me this evening. She is playing in her lift while I read.

Today's cooking adventure was beef bones in broth for barley and vegetables. It was very yummy and satisfying.

[jaex]

Looks like you've had a rough go as of late.  Here's hoping things get better soon my Kung Fu friend!

[T2sarahconnor]

Here for you as needed. I have been going through it too and as always will look to you for guidance. Still working on custody of my step kids. Horrible battle and so emotionally draining.

When are we moving to that farm?

[Heidi]

I like that we both overhead press more than we clean. That's not normal.For me, the hardest part of cleans is whipping my wrists underneath the bar after the shrug. Well, that and not clocking myself in the chin or throat with the bar. How's your form coming along?Also, doing lunges with two 50lb dumbbells is flipping sweet! Way to be a tank!

Not soon enough! Honestly, T2, I'm struggling on all fronts, to the point that I am making decisions hour to hour.

Small bites for the win!

Sent from my KFAPWA using Tapatalk

[T2sarahconnor]

Not soon enough! Honestly, T2, I'm struggling on all fronts, to the point that I am making decisions hour to hour.

Small bites for the win!

Sent from my KFAPWA using Tapatalk

Not like you at all! Been there. Make sure you take time for you, nourish your body and mind. I finally slowed down a little this weekend and took a little time for me each day even if just 15 minutes. You will get your center back.

I am trying to channel my stress into exercise. We will see how it goes.

I am jealous that I am not on a train on my way to Virgina.

[deepdarkgreen]

I have been through that list myself, it sucks. One day at a time, you'll get through it!

[Heidi]

Not like you at all! Been there. Make sure you take time for you, nourish your body and mind. I finally slowed down a little this weekend and took a little time for me each day even if just 15 minutes. You will get your center back.

I am trying to channel my stress into exercise. We will see how it goes.

I am jealous that I am not on a train on my way to Virgina.

I am jealous of that, too!

Let's figure out how we are getting together in 2015.

Sent from my KFAPWA using Tapatalk

[Heidi]

I have been through that list myself, it sucks. One day at a time, you'll get through it!

Thanks for the love and support!

The list looks long, but there are 42 days in a challenge, right?

Sent from my KFAPWA using Tapatalk

[Heidi]

The kids and I picked up Teros last night, had some awesome chicken wings and then collapsed when we got back to the flat.

Today was lovely and supportive, filled with tea (thanks, Kit! I love it!) And talk and laughter and lots and lots of honesty.

Bank account ransomed.

Had a revelation about the filings: I will let my mom make an ass of herself without any interference on my part. So that's taken care of.

Went to group tonight and have been knitting quietly, feeling calmer than ever and lucky to have my Nerd Fitness family.

Sent from my KFAPWA using Tapatalk

[Heidi]

Made simmered chicken after dropping the kids off at school. Walked and talked with Teros, and now am resting and knitting before picking Vivian up.

Life is good.

Sent from my KFAPWA using Tapatalk

[Heidi]

Another meeting and more knitting. The air is static-y; it needs to break into a raging thunderstorm. Very warm today, with enough sunshine to make you remember that sunscreen exits.

Graeme is being awesome and clearing up the kitchen - Teros and I made a new paleo chocolate pudding recipe that was absolutely amazing - and then I will go make dumplings to go with the simmered chicken.

In a minute.

One more row.

Sent from my KFAPWA using Tapatalk

[LittleTurtle]

Paleo chocolate pudding?  Yes, please!

[Heidi]

Mash an avocado in a bowl.

Stir in 1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder, 1 Tablespoon raw honey, and 1/2 - 1 Tablespoon Almond butter.

Mix well.

Serve topped with raspberries, chocolate chips, white chocolate shavings, or just as is. Fudgy, rich and satisfying.

[Heidi]

Last night, Graeme broke his collar bone working on a dive roll.

It's a clean break with no soft tissue damage, so he has a sling, immobilization and rest, as well as Lortab for a couple days.

We were up all night, and then caught a nap this morning.

Had the second meeting with the guardian ad litem, and it seemed to go well.

Ran Ethan and his friend to a new comic store and back, then cooked chili and made bread and a salad before heading to the night's meeting with Vivian in tow.

Really tired now.

It has been a good week.