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Ithil's journey to recovery


Ithil

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This is my first challenge as a scout and I am happy to be here! I used to run long distances (10-20 km) but after a football accident during my teens my ankle never recovered and a couple of years back I had a surgery to fix a bunch of broken ligaments in it from that accident. The injury still left me with nerve damage (and I suffer from pain-causing diseases as well) so running was left behind for all of those years before the surgery and also after the surgery. This challenge is though about preparing myself to get back to it but due to my old ankle injuries in both legs I need to start from zero, which is killing me. I think I’ll use couch to 5 k as a general guideline but I might have to switch to exercise biking if my ankle can't handle it yet before I get my special shoes made to correct my weird ankle position while walking.

 

My general big goal in this challenge is to get my exercising back on track after all those injuries and issues. It won't be easy but I'll achieve it with these things:

 

1. To run/walk/exercise 20-30 minutes three times per week (anything from running, walking, exercise biking or other type of exercise counts)

 

100% = 18 times total = 3 STR + 2 STA

75 % = 14 times total = 2 STR + 2 STA

50 % = 9 times total = 1 STR + 2 STA

25 % = 5 times total = 0,5 STR + 0,5 STA

 

2. Do 5-10 min warm-up and cool-down before exercise (I am bad when it comes to remembering this especially when exercise biking, when it's in my living room it's far too easy just to jump on it when excited to get some exercise)

 

100%=18 times total = 4 CON

75 %=14 times total = 3 CON

50 %=9 times total = 2 CON

25 %=5 times total = 1 CON

 

3. Do physiotherapy 3 times per week (I have a shoulder injury also which needs recovery time so this is work towards that).

 

100% = 18 times total = 3 CON

75 % = 14 times total = 2 CON

50 % = 9 times total = 1,5 CON

25 % = 5 times total = 1 CON

 

4. To support my exercise routine I also want to drink 6 glasses of water per day as well as eat a fruit per day

 

100% = 42 times total = 3 CON

75 % = 32 times total = 2 CON

50 % = 21 times total = 1,5 CON

25 % = 11 times total = 1 CON

 

In my life I had a bad burn out last month and also suffer from PTSD since it was largely caused by my master's instructor. This is why I want to do the exercise things above since it will give me the endorphins which help me recover from the great trauma I suffered and also give me something I can work towards to get my life back on track after those injuries and all those issues from the burn out. I though struggle with giving myself time to recover so:

 

5. My life goal is to every day read, watch tv or do something that makes me feel good for 30-45 minutes because it will help me recover mentally and also help me reach my exercise goals by making me feel like I can accomplish anything I want again.

 

I'll later add the numerical values and points for these in terms of now much points I get from each level of success but this will do for now in terms of goals before I have time to do that tomorrow or the day after that.

  • Like 2

LV 2 Elf Scout


STR: 3 | DEX: 1 | STA: 7 | CON: 8 | WIS: 2 | CHA: 3


Challenges: 1, 2


Running/biking 30-60 min: 0/12


0%
0%

Yoga or flexibility practice: 0/15


0%
0%

Physiotherapy sessions: 6/96


6%
6%

1 h reading: 3/42


7%
7%
Link to comment

Hey ithils! Welcome to the Scouts.

You have a solid plan here. As a PTSD survivor and current only the foot injury bench, we seem to share a lot! So PM anytime, hang out in the Scout Tavern and join the mini challenge if you like.

You're gonna build a great new foundation!

  • Like 1

The Way

Better Now than Back Then

Better Now than Later On

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You have a solid plan here. As a PTSD survivor and current only the foot injury bench, we seem to share a lot! So PM anytime, hang out in the Scout Tavern and join the mini challenge if you like.

You're gonna build a great new foundation!

 

Thanks for the kind welcome. I am bit concerned about did I take up too much but we shall see, these are still though good goals which help me with the recovery too so this is a solid plan in that sense. Thank you also for that PM offer, the mini challenge sounds good since accountability is never a bad thing to have and I seem to have found my way in the Scout Tavern as well. Slowly but surely I'll find my way around here better.:D

  • Like 2

LV 2 Elf Scout


STR: 3 | DEX: 1 | STA: 7 | CON: 8 | WIS: 2 | CHA: 3


Challenges: 1, 2


Running/biking 30-60 min: 0/12


0%
0%

Yoga or flexibility practice: 0/15


0%
0%

Physiotherapy sessions: 6/96


6%
6%

1 h reading: 3/42


7%
7%
Link to comment

Some physio done yesterday, the shoulder was acting up a bit so I stayed away from the resistance band training and just did the gentle motion range ones. It makes me really happy that I am now able to get my hand up normally since before I got it from 90 degree angle (if you think an angle between my hand and legs) and it was the most it goes. The strength isn't still there which I found out today when lifting some boxes filled with labcoats at work, ok they were big boxes in terms of my size but it was a reminder that there's still way to go. When I get to 20-25 repeats with each band exercise (I am now somewhere between 10 and 15) I graduate from exercise bands to 1 kg or 2 kg hand weights.:D Yes, this sounds lame even in my head but well, this isn't really weight training since it's just recovering from a really nasty tear with autoimmune disease infecting my joints and slowing the process (as well as the fun fact that it might be part of what caused the tears since it makes ligaments less durable).

 

In terms of fruits, water drinking and leaving time to relax I am on track too but my first exercise is still waiting until tomorrow. I am still bit recovering from a cold I had for 1,5 weeks and tomorrow is the first day I actually feel like there's been long enough break in between that I am not getting a nasty rebound infection as a reward from my exercise. I can still get 3 exercises with a day in between for this week so it's a solid plan, doing it that way makes most sense in my head. I also have an important future study program interview tomorrow too and the PTSD made me have a rough day today (I went back physically to the workplace for half a day) and well, after that I have needed the whole day for breathing since the stress caused by going back and the interview were quite much especially since it's an English-speaking programme so there's the added stress of being able to communicate.

 

  • Like 1

LV 2 Elf Scout


STR: 3 | DEX: 1 | STA: 7 | CON: 8 | WIS: 2 | CHA: 3


Challenges: 1, 2


Running/biking 30-60 min: 0/12


0%
0%

Yoga or flexibility practice: 0/15


0%
0%

Physiotherapy sessions: 6/96


6%
6%

1 h reading: 3/42


7%
7%
Link to comment

Your weight progression sounds good actually, especially with the physio exercises that really work stabilizing muscles and joint protection.

 

Good work getting to work and back. Those kinds of successes are important to remember. Do you have a few go-to activities that you can do when you get home to curb the stress some? I personally do the music thing: rap or heavy metal are my choices to help me deal.

  • Like 2

The Way

Better Now than Back Then

Better Now than Later On

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Your weight progression sounds good actually, especially with the physio exercises that really work stabilizing muscles and joint protection.

 

Good work getting to work and back. Those kinds of successes are important to remember. Do you have a few go-to activities that you can do when you get home to curb the stress some? I personally do the music thing: rap or heavy metal are my choices to help me deal.

Music works for me (heavy metal, rock..) and I used to play flute and piano as well but since our apartment can't fit a piano (and flute is something that would get us probably evicted since neighbors wouldn't love it). Currently it's tv and books in addition to my fiance that keeps me sane after work.

  • Like 2

LV 2 Elf Scout


STR: 3 | DEX: 1 | STA: 7 | CON: 8 | WIS: 2 | CHA: 3


Challenges: 1, 2


Running/biking 30-60 min: 0/12


0%
0%

Yoga or flexibility practice: 0/15


0%
0%

Physiotherapy sessions: 6/96


6%
6%

1 h reading: 3/42


7%
7%
Link to comment

On 15th I had the interview and it went great, after that everything has gone quite badly. I worked from home yesterday as planned+had to stay working from home today since I wasn't just able to go. Both yesterday and today the stress has been high and nothing has worked but my panic attack meds which pretty much in their highest dose knock me to sleep. I also haven't been able to lower the stress hormones via the exercise since the flu has lingered so I am behind in my exercise goal and stressed+grumpy about it.

 

Great thing is that I've still been able to continue doing stretches in physiotherapy so that is in order, as is my water/fruits goal and my life goal. I've taken the time to relax but my body has just not co-operated, most likely because the situation at work has been worse when I've gone back and tomorrow there's a meeting related to that where I basically have to tell that hey, things are really not fine this way for my boss and his boss.

 

Okay, maybe things are in order pretty much since every non-exercise related goal is in order as I've been able to do light physio stretches and I need to get over the cold before I can exercise again or do any warm-up. So stopping to beat myself up because of this would benefit me, this worsening phase of burn out and depression is hard enough as it is. Why I know it in my head but can't feel it?

  • Like 1

LV 2 Elf Scout


STR: 3 | DEX: 1 | STA: 7 | CON: 8 | WIS: 2 | CHA: 3


Challenges: 1, 2


Running/biking 30-60 min: 0/12


0%
0%

Yoga or flexibility practice: 0/15


0%
0%

Physiotherapy sessions: 6/96


6%
6%

1 h reading: 3/42


7%
7%
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Can you imagine a river, having grown deep and fast over the years, being able to hear, or be affected by, a small brook trying to change the course of the behemoth river? That is what change is when the survivor techniques we have had in place for so long that we think that's all there is in life is survivor mode. Living life just seems too far out there in normal land for us to reach it. But we can with time and patience. Get your gold star stickers and track every good, decent, and not bad event everyday. 

  • Like 2

The Way

Better Now than Back Then

Better Now than Later On

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Okay, maybe things are in order pretty much since every non-exercise related goal is in order as I've been able to do light physio stretches and I need to get over the cold before I can exercise again or do any warm-up. So stopping to beat myself up because of this would benefit me, this worsening phase of burn out and depression is hard enough as it is. Why I know it in my head but can't feel it?

 

You can't feel it because depression is mean. You're doing really good just by continuing to try. It would be so easy to just give up because of being sick or a bad interview or whatever, but you're not, you're still trying, and that's awesome! 

Lv 1 Wood Elf, 

A New Beginning C1:  A Rough Start, b=But Still a Start

Lv 7 Wood Elf Ranger

STR: 15 | DEX: 8 | STA: 12 | CON: 11 | WIS: 14 | CHA: 12
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Can you imagine a river, having grown deep and fast over the years, being able to hear, or be affected by, a small brook trying to change the course of the behemoth river? That is what change is when the survivor techniques we have had in place for so long that we think that's all there is in life is survivor mode. Living life just seems too far out there in normal land for us to reach it. But we can with time and patience. Get your gold star stickers and track every good, decent, and not bad event everyday. 

 

Thank you. I have to cut myself some slack and allow time to heal. The weekend has gone mostly gaining strength but also every bit of relaxing I am able to do is progress forward getting better slowly.

  • Like 2

LV 2 Elf Scout


STR: 3 | DEX: 1 | STA: 7 | CON: 8 | WIS: 2 | CHA: 3


Challenges: 1, 2


Running/biking 30-60 min: 0/12


0%
0%

Yoga or flexibility practice: 0/15


0%
0%

Physiotherapy sessions: 6/96


6%
6%

1 h reading: 3/42


7%
7%
Link to comment

You can't feel it because depression is mean. You're doing really good just by continuing to try. It would be so easy to just give up because of being sick or a bad interview or whatever, but you're not, you're still trying, and that's awesome! 

Thank you for this. I really needed to hear it from somebody else as sometimes the intellectual part of my brain aren't able to over-ride the depression side. I am now happy that I had a good interview and I can't get over a cold any faster by willpower so some things just aren't something I can control.

  • Like 2

LV 2 Elf Scout


STR: 3 | DEX: 1 | STA: 7 | CON: 8 | WIS: 2 | CHA: 3


Challenges: 1, 2


Running/biking 30-60 min: 0/12


0%
0%

Yoga or flexibility practice: 0/15


0%
0%

Physiotherapy sessions: 6/96


6%
6%

1 h reading: 3/42


7%
7%
Link to comment

I still have had the remains of the cold which has driven me crazy, there's though nothing to be done about it to heal faster so yesterday I decided that okay, there was no exercise this week but it really had to be that way to keep myself getting worse. Now my goal is to exercise bike tomorrow, I finally feel back to normal. So big yay for being finally okay even if that it meant no exercise during the first challenge week at all which is disappointing.

 

My fruit eating goal+water drinking is still back on track as well as relaxing, the only goals that haven't gone as planned are the exercise ones. Since I can't cure flu any faster I have to accept it as a part of life that this just happens.

 

I am also feeling much better otherwise, the stress and panic attacks still are daily but I can better accept that okay, now I need to occupy myself by doing something totally relaxing and not push forward. So I am getting better, despite having two exams in bit more than a week I think I can handle it and have been able to use the weekend mainly for resting.

  • Like 2

LV 2 Elf Scout


STR: 3 | DEX: 1 | STA: 7 | CON: 8 | WIS: 2 | CHA: 3


Challenges: 1, 2


Running/biking 30-60 min: 0/12


0%
0%

Yoga or flexibility practice: 0/15


0%
0%

Physiotherapy sessions: 6/96


6%
6%

1 h reading: 3/42


7%
7%
Link to comment

Sounds like you're making great progress despite getting sick, way to go!

  • Like 1

Lv 1 Wood Elf, 

A New Beginning C1:  A Rough Start, b=But Still a Start

Lv 7 Wood Elf Ranger

STR: 15 | DEX: 8 | STA: 12 | CON: 11 | WIS: 14 | CHA: 12
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Finally progress with exercise! I was able to exercise bike with warm-up and cool-down yesterday, it was really nice to read a magazine and put automatic hard program on. I needed those endorphins, it seemed really help with anxiety and I slept better. My throat hurt a bit afterwards, I have to see if it was connected to the flu or not next time I exercise. This made me realize how much I've missed exercising, my ankle didn't hurt which is great and also fibromyalgia and autoimmune didn't get worse.

 

My other goals are also going well, hardest thing has been remembering to buy fruits enough since fiancé wanted to join in the challenge as well. It's fine for me but yesterday resulted into zero fruits in the house. Well, I'll eat two today so then I am back on track without any issues.

  • Like 2

LV 2 Elf Scout


STR: 3 | DEX: 1 | STA: 7 | CON: 8 | WIS: 2 | CHA: 3


Challenges: 1, 2


Running/biking 30-60 min: 0/12


0%
0%

Yoga or flexibility practice: 0/15


0%
0%

Physiotherapy sessions: 6/96


6%
6%

1 h reading: 3/42


7%
7%
Link to comment

That's fantastic! It's amazing the impact exercise can have on things like anxiety and sleep patterns. :D

  • Like 1

Lv 1 Wood Elf, 

A New Beginning C1:  A Rough Start, b=But Still a Start

Lv 7 Wood Elf Ranger

STR: 15 | DEX: 8 | STA: 12 | CON: 11 | WIS: 14 | CHA: 12
Link to comment

That's fantastic! It's amazing the impact exercise can have on things like anxiety and sleep patterns. :D

 

Oh yes, the next day I though went in and out of panic attacks all day but I blame the fact that I got to the other master's program I've been trying to get into for past two years (and which interview I nailed). It's a great thing, don't get me wrong but I wasn't able to enjoy it at all since my recovery from burn out goes too slowly that I must postpone starting it in 2016. Big boo for that but now I can again enjoy it at least a bit and yesterday was good again.

  • Like 1

LV 2 Elf Scout


STR: 3 | DEX: 1 | STA: 7 | CON: 8 | WIS: 2 | CHA: 3


Challenges: 1, 2


Running/biking 30-60 min: 0/12


0%
0%

Yoga or flexibility practice: 0/15


0%
0%

Physiotherapy sessions: 6/96


6%
6%

1 h reading: 3/42


7%
7%
Link to comment

Yay! Exercise. Love those endorphins and with no flare ups, you must be really loving it.

Congrats!

 

Yep I love it, it's good for the burn out symptoms and also it helps that the trickiest one to manage (since nobody knows really what fibromyalgia actually does despite theories so the treatment is basically trying everything) seems to like moderate exercise so it helps with managing the physical health mess as well.

  • Like 1

LV 2 Elf Scout


STR: 3 | DEX: 1 | STA: 7 | CON: 8 | WIS: 2 | CHA: 3


Challenges: 1, 2


Running/biking 30-60 min: 0/12


0%
0%

Yoga or flexibility practice: 0/15


0%
0%

Physiotherapy sessions: 6/96


6%
6%

1 h reading: 3/42


7%
7%
Link to comment

Congrats on getting into the program! What kind of masters are you going for? I completely understand freaking out about being accepted to something like that, as awesome as it is, it's a huge thing to take on and mad intimidating. But you know what? You got this!

  • Like 1

Lv 1 Wood Elf, 

A New Beginning C1:  A Rough Start, b=But Still a Start

Lv 7 Wood Elf Ranger

STR: 15 | DEX: 8 | STA: 12 | CON: 11 | WIS: 14 | CHA: 12
Link to comment

Bit of a tricky week in terms of panic attacks but at least I was finally able to get some studying done after them and yesterday I got six hours studying done thanks to no attacks so at least I got some exam reading done.

 

Challenge-wise in between the diet goal with fruits and water I have been right on track and today is exercise and physio therapy day. Most likely it's going to be exercise biking since the ankle is acting a bit up and it's the most gentle activity on that. I might have to modify the warm up a bit if it causes issues but we shall see about that when I get to it.

 

Physiotherapy today will be with exercise band since I want to get to the hand weighs if possible within May (looks realistic). There's nothing wrong with the band itself but my physiotherapist suggested the weights as soon as I can realistically do those things without sliding back since with the band the resistance varies each time as you never stretch it the same each time and after a certain limit no much you switch into a band with more resistance in itself the progress just doesn't happen like with weights. Still probably I'll have to go with 1 kg weight since no matter how much heavier things I can lift with both hands we are talking about now only using the problem hand and doing several repeats with several different exercises. This will tire it no matter how much force in one movement I use when lifting a box off the shelf, in physiotherapy it's the repeats and long-term movement that counts.

  • Like 1

LV 2 Elf Scout


STR: 3 | DEX: 1 | STA: 7 | CON: 8 | WIS: 2 | CHA: 3


Challenges: 1, 2


Running/biking 30-60 min: 0/12


0%
0%

Yoga or flexibility practice: 0/15


0%
0%

Physiotherapy sessions: 6/96


6%
6%

1 h reading: 3/42


7%
7%
Link to comment

Congrats on getting into the program! What kind of masters are you going for? I completely understand freaking out about being accepted to something like that, as awesome as it is, it's a huge thing to take on and mad intimidating. But you know what? You got this!

 

The one I got in now is for translational medicine so it's sort of related to my old one in a sense that I am staying within the same general field of science. I though applied into genetics as well which I haven't heard back from, it's my old dear love as well but maybe I stick to these two master's since after them I will get to the phD which is also a long term goal of mine.:D  I know I got it, it's just the fact that I have to move it to fall 2016 instead of starting this fall, it makes me mad that this burn out is not in the end making it possible to enjoy the program I have been trying to get into two years a row. If I could I would just wish it all away but as I can't make it disappear like that I have to actually give myself a year to mainly recover. It will all good then, I just know that if I'd go this fall I'd crash and burn since I am in no place to study or work full-time. I just have to hope that they accept my doctor's note about switching the starting year thanks to this, if not then I just have to do some introductory courses in the fall and do a couple of others in spring.

  • Like 1

LV 2 Elf Scout


STR: 3 | DEX: 1 | STA: 7 | CON: 8 | WIS: 2 | CHA: 3


Challenges: 1, 2


Running/biking 30-60 min: 0/12


0%
0%

Yoga or flexibility practice: 0/15


0%
0%

Physiotherapy sessions: 6/96


6%
6%

1 h reading: 3/42


7%
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Link to comment

I've never heard of translational medicine, sounds cool! And hey, there's nothing wrong with taking the time you need to recover. :D

  • Like 1

Lv 1 Wood Elf, 

A New Beginning C1:  A Rough Start, b=But Still a Start

Lv 7 Wood Elf Ranger

STR: 15 | DEX: 8 | STA: 12 | CON: 11 | WIS: 14 | CHA: 12
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How's your weekend shaping up?

 

It got worse in terms of PTSD and that stuff but now I am again feeling better. I've still kept on top of my challenge goals which I am happy about but since I wasn't active in here for a few days I have to get my trackers back on track so it's time to actually figure out at what date and what week we're on. I've just counted that I've had enough water etc to stay on top of my diet goals and counted my exercises to have enough exercise but I have no idea at what day we are actually on.:D I have to do some serious calculating based on today's date and the date when this challenge started..

 

Today was supposed to be the day when I start my C25K but yesterday I started to feel bit sick, now it seems that it was just a short thing caused by migraine rather than anything like flu but I will have to see. I am still stuck in physiotherapy with the resistance band but I hope I get the weights by the end of the month. There's been though some pain in my joint but only in rest and it isn't connected to my physiotherapy days so I assume it's the autoimmune talking. In a couple of weeks I have my doctor's appointment and he always ultrasounds every possible joint so if there's an infection I shall see. I can't get to him any faster as the queue is several months and this is just my regular check-up so I'll do light stretches until that and in other was as well stress it as little as possible. In terms of fruits I'm bit bored, I have to either figure out new kinds that I can eat with my allergies or figure out new ways I can eat them (now I've just eaten them rather than making them into smoothies or anything like that). Yesterday I just stared at my banana for a while without wanting to eat it at all so coming up with a solution to continue eating them and thus getting all the vitamins is needed.

  • Like 2

LV 2 Elf Scout


STR: 3 | DEX: 1 | STA: 7 | CON: 8 | WIS: 2 | CHA: 3


Challenges: 1, 2


Running/biking 30-60 min: 0/12


0%
0%

Yoga or flexibility practice: 0/15


0%
0%

Physiotherapy sessions: 6/96


6%
6%

1 h reading: 3/42


7%
7%
Link to comment

Fruits are a strange hassle for me as well. I wonder if we could bake them? Or like, roast them. IDK. Of course you can always slice up your banana nice and thin and plop it down in a spoon full of peanut butter!

I think this is Day # 25 or if you do it this way, it's Week 4 Day 4.

I like your observations on the team thread about skipping the paper trail part of tracking. I often found it easier to really 'notice' things I think or do or react to that are causing issues. So I'd say you're on to something good with that.

  • Like 2

The Way

Better Now than Back Then

Better Now than Later On

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