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Confession and in need of advice!


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I have recently noticed that I am not the only one feeding but I am the gatekeeper of my mouth. I confess I am, like a lot of us, can’t have just one biscuit.  I have been sneaking them past myself by instead of sitting with one packet. I will eat biscuit one from packet one put it back.. Then eat biscuit 2 from packet 2... And so on. I have realised this, will be stopping this and counting every calorie.

 

I NEED ADVICE though, I have just started a no cakes in the office rule at work. I'm not pushing it on anyone else. It's just me doing it. (The only chance of cake at a weekend is from  my BF mum, it’s not very often and they are homemade beautifully and a good portion size of generally healthier cakes as she likes to cut out sugars)

 

Day 1 of no cakes, my friend comes up and says she has bought in cakes. I said thanks but no, she responded with  "o it's only a little one, it won’t hurt" I reaffirmed my no and she went away, I thought that would be the end of it. 

 

Half hour later she comes back and  pops a suspicious sized thing wrapped in tissue on my desk. I complained to her about it as she walked away grinning. It is far away from me on my desk still and am currently not looking at it. I’m not feeling tempted by it either right now (which I’m happy about).

 

I have also been told, "If you don’t pay for it, it's free calories" " close your eyes! If you can't see it, you can’t count it." .... all the normal ones

 

I need advice on how to tell my work "mates" to take a long walk off a short pier and to take their ruddy cakes with them. My will power has been low lately but I can feel it getting stronger again as I haven’t eaten the cake and I can’t find a way to get rid or bin it without her knowing.

 

Other than screaming at her or saying I can't be around you because you are the cake devil!! I don't know what to do, I have tried explaining what I’m trying to do and still more cake! Help!

 

Anything's possible if you've got the nerve. - J.K Rowling

 

Full circuits of beginner bodyweight without effort- can complete 3 but it is effort! (7.5.15)

did my first full bent knee push up  :pride:  

 

 

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Tell her no thank you.  When they come back to give you cake, take the cake graciously.  Then promptly dump it in the trash with them watching.

 

If they get mad, you can explain that you've already stated your position, and since you're not paying for it, you're allowed to do whatever you want with those "free calories," even throw them out.  Rinse and repeat until they get the idea.  Other people's feelings aren't worth it if it sabotages your own goals (within reason - a birthday cake now and then for special occasion is one thing, office cake because it's a Monday is not one of them).

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RisenPhoenix, the Entish Aikidoka

Challenge: RisenPhoenix Tries to be Normal

 

"The essence of koryu [...is] you offer your loyalty to something that you choose to regard as greater than yourself so that you will, someday, be able to offer service to something that truly is transcendent." ~ Ellis Amdur, Old School

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Next time they wrap it in tissue do one of two things if you've already said no thank you. 

 

1. Throw it out. They may think this is rude and wasting food but after the first few they'll get the point. 

 

2. Put it back on THEIR desk or the common area. 

 

I used to bring in chocolates and fill the chocolate bin. It was expensive but I ate a lot of it so I thought it was ok. I started to cut out the junk in my diet and stopped filling the bin. People questioned it (some were rather rude about it too, no more free chocolate=I turned boring and mean.....even though I'm by far the most junior person here and making WAY less than everyone else and I was paying for it out of pocket). 

 

People started bringing in cupcakes and cake pops and all sorts of things to make up for the lost chocolate(free bagel Wednesday too). After turning enough people down, ordering healthy options from menus when going out, I'm known as the 'healthy' one now. Every time someone gets on me about sweets I start talking about my races and mud runs and ask them if they'd like to train with me for my next 5k. I mean, one little 5k won't hurt :P 

 

Also, I may have an office enemy now, every time I said no thanks to a treat and she'd keep pushing I'd estimate the caloric content of w/e was being offered (usually 300-500 calorie cupcake/danish/sugar something from Panera) and say 'Nah, I'd have to run an extra 4-6 miles to work that off tonight and I don't have the time. Maybe on Friday.' After a couple of times she stopped pushing it :D I've also started bringing in mixed fruit bowls and raw nuts though not many seem to really get into those as much as the chocolate sadly. 

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Spaz Ranger

BATTLE LOG

You can have results or excuses. Not both

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Oh that's hard :( That really is, because they're basically spoiling for an argument or an excuse to start slagging you off. I hate people like that. They're only doing it because they've run low on things to say to others and need more material "So, Lilmidge won't eat cake anymore, gossip gossip gossip." And with it being in the workplace, it makes it a lot harder to make a stand, be firm or stand up for yourself, or you find yourself in a disciplinary having 'words' about your 'unteamlike attitude' or 'resistance to team cohesion'. Ugh. I have to admit, if I was back in the office, weight loss would be ten times harder.

 

I get some crap from family about my fitness, but I'm tougher about it these days (and there's no risk of a disciplinary.) The other day my mother smirked and dumped two bags of opened Haribo sweets on my kitchen counter. "I'm not eating these, they make me fat," she said (she absolutely MAINLINES these things, she's never without a bag in her hand and is chain-popping them in her mouth.) I said I didn't want them either and she could take them home and throw them out, but she refused, and I threw them out when she left. I was really annoyed at her obvious attempt to tempt me into eating them. So what? She could have a good ol' sneer afterwards? Ugh. People.

 

With it being the workplace, tread carefully. Just say no, turn your head back and keep repeating a really calm 'no' over and over. Even better, remember that if you eat the cake, SHE wins and they'll get the gossip they so crave. "She finally ATE it, ha, we ruined her diet." If anything else, you will SO never eat her cakes again. Don't give her the satisfaction. Next, reassess if she's really a friend. She's being a bit of a bitch. Cute jokes about the cake devil and things will only make her think it's a game, a fun bit of banter between the two of you, so keep your word short and to the point. "No" is a full sentence!

 

I used to find it really hard to say 'no' to cakes because I didn't want to seem rude and I'm usually eager to be liked by the cake offerer. But I've gotten better at it. And I don't explain why either. "No, I'm on a cut", "No, I'm dieting", "No, I'm counting calories right now," "No, I have macros" - meaningless to most people, they don't wanna hear it, they don't need an excuse. Just a good ol' No cuts the conversation dead and normal people put the cakes away. Mean bitchy people start leaving them on your desk with grins - I am REALLY annoyed at that! Can you tell? - or your kitchen counter, and then you just hold your head high and don't let them win.

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warrior : level 8

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''Difficult' and 'impossible' are cousins often mistaken for one another, with very little in common' - Locke Lamora

 

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I get some crap from family about my fitness, but I'm tougher about it these days (and there's no risk of a disciplinary.) The other day my mother smirked and dumped two bags of opened Haribo sweets on my kitchen counter. "I'm not eating these, they make me fat," she said (she absolutely MAINLINES these things, she's never without a bag in her hand and is chain-popping them in her mouth.) I said I didn't want them either and she could take them home and throw them out, but she refused, and I threw them out when she left. I was really annoyed at her obvious attempt to tempt me into eating them. So what? She could have a good ol' sneer afterwards? Ugh. People.

 

You are so much nicer than me.

 

If my mother tried that I'd toss them in the bin right then with a "Now we both won't eat these so we both don't have to get fat!"

 

That being said, I'm notorious for hating people.

RisenPhoenix, the Entish Aikidoka

Challenge: RisenPhoenix Tries to be Normal

 

"The essence of koryu [...is] you offer your loyalty to something that you choose to regard as greater than yourself so that you will, someday, be able to offer service to something that truly is transcendent." ~ Ellis Amdur, Old School

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That is definitely a problem, and it's not normal (too common, but not normal).

 

With a coworker, I would suggest you politely refuse the cake, and if she insists on dropping it off anyway, put it in the trash out of sight if possible, or give it away if you can.  Or if the box of cakes is in the break room, just put yours back with the rest.

 

If the problem persists, talk to your manager or to human resources.  It is their job to deal with staff bullying you, harassing you, or discriminating against you on the basis of medical conditions.  (And being overweight or intolerant to sugar are medical issues.)

 

I would phrase the problem in milder terms to start with, but "harassment" and "discrimination" are key words which should prompt some serious action, because those things can lead to lawsuits.  Be confident and don't whine, but use those words if the manager does not appear to be taking the problem seriously.

 

Pressuring someone to break a diet is just as bad as trying to get them to violate their religion, a court order, an allergy, or their doctor's orders.  It crosses the line from teasing to bullying, and it is not acceptable.

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Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.

Hylian Assassin 5'5", 143 lbs.
Half-marathon: 3:02
It is pitch dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

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I think with some people it's more about them than you. If you eat the cake it will make them feel better about themselves. Seeing someone else trying to be healthy highlights their own diet and lifestyle.

 

Just stick to your guns and remind yourself why you're doing this. Eventually you might even inspire others to join you.

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"To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and, whatever you hit, call it the target."

 

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I used to be a monster at the work potluck lunch... After everyone got at least one serving, I'd go crazy and have plate after plate. One day, when I decided to diet, people noticed the change, of course, and gave me a little friendly teasing about it. After a while (and a lot of lost weight), they pretty much know that I don't participate with cake (statistically, it's like someone's birthday every week here), and it's old news to them. It will hopefully get better if you just deal with them firmly and seriously.

Another word of advice: don't say stuff like, " I really want to, but I can't ", as that can sound like you're trying to be convinced to break

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 Azotus

Human Assasin

My Assasin 6WC

"Ask not for lighter burdens, but for stronger shoulders"

 

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Thank you so much for all the advice, it's very different for me to feel like there are people who understand what I'm saying. It went in the bin without her knowing.

 

I think with some people it's more about them than you. If you eat the cake it will make them feel better about themselves. Seeing someone else trying to be healthy highlights their own diet and lifestyle.

 

After reading this, I think this is right on the money as I noticed a few bits of diet food packets around her desk for the last week or so.

 

 

 (statistically, it's like someone's birthday every week here)

 

I am in the same kind of office, they are always around. There is one today so my bum is currently glued to my seat, if I cant see them I'm not tempted.

 

 

That is definitely a problem, and it's not normal (too common, but not normal).

 

With a coworker, I would suggest you politely refuse the cake, and if she insists on dropping it off anyway, put it in the trash out of sight if possible, or give it away if you can.  Or if the box of cakes is in the break room, just put yours back with the rest.

 

 

 I will keep the above in mind for if it happens again

 

Thanks again, I do really appreciate it.

Anything's possible if you've got the nerve. - J.K Rowling

 

Full circuits of beginner bodyweight without effort- can complete 3 but it is effort! (7.5.15)

did my first full bent knee push up  :pride:  

 

 

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