NAXIUS ASCENDING (Part 2: Time Management)

[Ahyar Dreamspark]

Weeeell, the inter-challenge challenge NAXIUS ASCENDING (Part 1.5) was a complete fail. This probably happened for two reasons: 1) it was my birthday week, and 2) let's pretend that I was getting all the fail out of the way before NAXIUS ASCENDING (Part 2)

 

This challenge will have a heavy focus on time management. As a result, the initial post is mostly a copy/paste job from the last challenge, because I'm lazy efficient.

 

I'm usually more on the ball when there are cosplay-related things at stake. Is it a bad thing that the act of pretending to be a (usually terrible) fictional character gives me greater motivation to be healthy than my own well-being does?

Don't answer that.

It turns out that my only successful challenge so far, the one from the newbie area where I needed the body of a God had similar cosplay motivations. I wanted to lose 10 lb of fat so that I would make a better Loki. This involved eating more fruits and veggies, and greatly limiting bread and beer. Limiting bread and beer made me sad, but I got some freaking results!


 

And by "limiting beer" I really meant that I switched from beer to whisky.

Those of you who've seen my tumblr (or know me in RL) are probably aware of my newest obsession: Jupiter Ascending. This movie was filled with action, cheesiness, amazing costumes, and The Mary Sue describes it in the following manner:

"This movie is like if [The Matrix, Dune, Star Wars, and The Fifth Element] plus the music video for the Backstreet Boys’ “Larger Than Life†and the really weird parts of the Mass Effect trilogy all got really drunk at a party and had a massive orgy while H.P. Lovecraft filmed it."

Epic, no? Unfortunately, the critics wrecked Jupiter Ascending before it even came out, the marketing for the movie was done wrong, and the movie was considered a failure as far as money goes. I bet it'll make enough money back by the end of the year to break even, but whatever.  My obsession with this movie specifically centres on one glorious, twisted, entitled space asshole of a character: Balem Abrasax.
 

 

I can haz money, power, and ripped abs?

(Never fear, the Loki obsession has not gone away. I just can't wear the Loki cosplay for a while because of a recent surgery and associated looooong recovery time. My Loki game will end up much greater in a few months, though! I'll also be making an Agent of Asgard Loki costime for Animaritime this year (JUNE 26! DEADLINE! PANIC!) because fuck wearing several layers of leather in a summer heat wave.

Personality-wise, Balem will be much harder to roleplay than Loki, whose character pretty much came naturally to me. Both characters have some psycho in them, but Loki actually has a sense of humor and makes frequent use of snide remarks. Balem, on the other hand, is typically serious ALL. THE. TIME. Oh, and he whispers everything he says...when he's not hysterically rage-shouting, anyway.

(Pic 1)

(Pic 2)

Top: calmly threatening someone. Bottom: FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU

EDIT: IT'S NOT LETTING ME USE GIFS AND I AM RAGE-SHOUTING RIGHT NOOOOOOOOOOOWWWW!!!!11!111

I am not very good at being serious, so I will need to get some practice with that before November, which is when I want to have this costume done. The hysterical rage-shouting I can definitely do well, because I do it all the time when 1) the internet is slow, 2) this video is not available in my country, 3) I get stuck behind a dumbfuck driver in traffic, and 4) I attempt to prepare an under-ripe avocado.

The bottom line is that, besides wanting to become a wizard, I also seem to have a desire to become an evil space lord who wears awesome clothes. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing. First came Darth Maul, then there was Loki, and now there's Balem. (There will eventually be a Ronan, but let's not get ahead of ourselves.)

So, what will I be doing to overlordify myself over the course of the next six weeks?


1:  Regeneration/rejuvenation!



Because I'm vain. I've had a vanity-based challenge goal before, which I stuck to moderately well because priorities. Now I'm going to do it again, except better, and for a different reason: I want to be as healthy as possible for surgical healing purposes. Then I can hopefully hit the gym again sooner and start working on getting ripped abs. The rejuvenation aspect and associated good looks is merely a nice bonus.

 

I'm not sure if I want the abs for cosplay or just for the sake of having them. Why not both?

In Jupiter Ascending, the entitled take baths in a substance called RegenEX. One tube (seen below) is refined from about 100 people.

 

If I can get my hands on a long, hexagonal bottle like this, I'm pretty sure that 4 parts vodka to 1 parts Hypnotiq will make a liquid with the same color.

Unfortunately, I am 1) not an entitled or a royal being in real life (yet!) and 2) RegenEX doesn't exist in real life. Oh, and 3) the whole thing about RegenEX being made of people would probably not fly in real life, either. So I need to get a similar (but lesser, obviously) rejuvenation effect by using more mundane methods.

1.1: Minimal coffee use. Pass/fail.

I will have no more than one cup per day. Coffee interferes with collagen production, and apparently that's important during healing. I'll post more on this later, but I'm not sure how much later. Probably toward the tail end of the challenge.

1.2: HYDRATE! Grade from 0.0 to 1.0

5L of water per day, or more. Simple enough, right? Especially if there's less room for coffee. My addiction to having a drink in my hand should make this doable.

 

This was done successfully last challenge with 3L, now I'm upping it. I considered making this pass/fail, but I've noticed rather quickly that getting 5L of water in me in one day is not that easy. I don't want to fail if I only manage to drink 4.5L because that would be demoralizing, so I'll give myself 0.2 points for every litre I drink. Max in one day is 1 point.

1.3: Tweak my diet, have one BIG-ASS SALAD every day, or LOTS OF VEGETABLES. Not graded.

I did well with the salads in the last challenge, so now I'm going to make this work for every type of vegetable. I enjoyed having the salads, but ever since I got sick during the week between challenges (wheeee, Norovirus!) I haven't wanted salad AT ALL. Opening this part of the challenge to all vegetables should still be easy because there is no cooking involved. I've also figured out that if all I bring to work are veggies and nuts, I actually eat my vegetables.

As an aside, it was mentioned to me that the optimal diet for healing was a raw vegan diet. I have no problems with the raw part since it involves less effort, but the vegan part makes me a bit sad because I rather enjoy eating dead animal pieces. When it comes to cruelty, ingesting dead animal pieces pales in comparison to bathing in a pool filled with liquid refined from tens of thousands of people, so all is good.

The protein powder I normally use is labeled raw vegan, so that should work. It's also the elitist, pricey type of protein powder, which is good for two reasons. First, it fits well with the "I am going to cosplay an elitist jackass" theme. Second, the higher price ensures that I won't be over-indulging with it because I am not that much of a rich elite in real life. YET!

I also have to look ripped in order to fully complete the Balem Abrasax look, but that'll be tough since my workouts are a bit limited right now. Next challenge, fo' sho'!

tl;dr version: EAT GOOD FOOD, BECAUSE SPACE LORDS DO NOT EAT TRASH.


2. I can business!

Seriously, I know NOTHING about anything even remotely finance-related, or business-related. I hate being ignorant, especially when it comes to something like money. Money sort of makes the world go 'round these days, and not knowing anything about it seems counter-productive to, well, everything I want.

How does this fit with the cosplay theme? Well, it turns out that Balem Abrasax is an epic businessman, or at least that's what the movie hints at near the beginning. Unfortunately, he seems to be more and more mentally unstable as the movie progresses, so we poor viewers don't actually get to witness his l33t busine55 sk1llz--although I suspect it involves a lot of coercion, harsh negotiating, and threats. And probably murder.

All fictional character shenanigans aside, though, I really do want to have more of a clue about how to deal with money in several aspects of life.

Disclaimer: the Earth will not be harvested in the course of this challenge.

2.1: Basic financial literacy: watch (and UNDERSTAND) at least one video per night. Pass/fail.

I signed up for am "Introduction to Finance" class on coursera. It started on June 1st, and I don't meet some of the pre-reqs (how do I economy? I can haz accounting? Derp? Very statistics!) so I'll have to read up on things. The professor who gives the video lectures has mentioned several times that the course will be hard work, especially for an introductory course.

2.2: Number cruncher! Pass/fail.

This will involve Lumosity Raindrops. I know that Lumosity was a spectacular fail last time, but maybe if I focus on just ONE GAME (Raindrops) then maybe I can succeed. This isn't totally related to finance or business, but being able to work with numbers more efficiently certainly can't hurt.

Being better at math might also help me get rid of the feeling that I'm a fucking idiot.

Knowing more financial things and being better with numbers may result in me having more money in the future, and/or result in me obtaining money faster.  Filthy rich space royals need to have money, otherwise they wouldn't be space royals. Life is a game, and the game is pay2win. I want to fucking win.

And when I have a lot of money, I can pay someone else to prepare my vegetables for me

 

Won't have time for Raindrops this round, unfortunately. Will add it back in the next challenge. The Intro to Finance course involves math and stats, so I'll be doing my number crunching there instead.


3. Mindfulness. Again.

3.1: Five minutes of mindfulness, every day. Pass/fail.

I'll just keep this in my challenges until I stop failing at it. It's got to happen at some point.

3.2: Hand control. Not graded.

Being able to look like an aloof, arrogant space lord while walking around on a convention floor is only going to be a side benefit of this. The main reason for controlling what I do with my hands is to keep my hands away from my face. I've tried to tackle this terrible habit in the past, and failed every freaking time. There are obviously some psychological factors at stake that I am completely unaware of, and it's a shitty habit I've been doing since I was in elementary school. Right NOW is the time to give breaking this habit another shot, though, for two reasons:

- I will begin taking hormone injections during week 2 of this challenge, which will increase the likelihood of me having shitty skin. It's like second puberty, and I fucking swear if I end up getting acne I'm going to hate my face so much... Having my hands on my face all the time will greatly increase the chance of me developing skin problems, and thus DO NOT WANT. I won't be able to cosplay anything with a half-red, pus-oozing, crater-filled face.

- I had a surgery last month, which left me unable to raise my arms (or hands) much for several weeks. This was the perfect power-up to begin this quest. I've been doing great at not picking at my face so far, and I want this to continue.

Right. Hand control. While in the midst of enlightening research (read, while fucking around on Tumblr) I've stumbled upon these things called Mudras, which are basically like hand yoga and apparently there's benefits to doing this. I'm still rather clueless about it all, so I'll just paste a thing that came up when I typed "mudras" on tumblr:
 

"HAND MUDRAS:
Those familiar with reflexology know that by stimulating certain pressure points in your hands and feet, it is possible to revitalize and balance energy in different parts of your body; including your organs and glands.

For instance, pressing a specific part of your thumb can relieve a headache. Massaging areas of your pinky finger can relax your neck and shoulders.

Hand mudras work in a very similar fashion. The word “mudra†translates to seal orgesture. A hand mudra is both a symbolic and therapeutic gesture mainly performed with the fingers. By positioning our fingers in various postures, we can influence how energy is channeled inside of us.

Think of it as opening an electrical circuit inside your body. Touching two fingers together can direct the flow of internal energy to where it’s needed and create healthy benefits and a mind/body balance.

For more posts like these: http://yogamimi.tumblr.com"

Goggle also showed me this web site for mudras. And then it showed me other sites with the same hand gestures and different effects that they're supposed to give and...??? I'll figure this out as I go along, but so far I've memorized the all the one-handed ones on the Kundalini site (the one with the link at the beginning of this paragraph).

I'm not sure how much I buy into the part about the energy flow and purported benefits, but those will be an added bonus if they do happen to work. I don't have anything to lose by trying the mudras out, anyway. Also, if anyone wonders how this part of the challenge fits with the pretend-to-be-a-finctional-character and cosplay theme, see for yourself:

 

I don't know if he's actually mudra'ing, but close enough.

Won't I look foolish steepling my hands like an evil villain in real life, doing day-to-day activities? Nope! Because unless it's gym time, I hardly ever leave the computer's side and thus nobody will see me. Other activities involve driving, or watching TV at friends' places, in which case nobody pays attention to where my hands are anyway. I can be a dramatic evil villain in a stealthy manner.

 

UPDATE, Part 2: Since I cannot use my arms at the gym for a while, I've been finding myself steepling my hands like an evil villain while on the stationary bike and while doing core work. It happens without me noticing it, and...it's awesome and a bit creepy.

3.3: Epic fingernails. Not graded.

 

LOOK AT THE PERFECTLY DONE FINGERNAILS, and not at the Backstreet Boys-like hair disaster!

Bonus quest: maintain long and perfect fingernails. This will deter me even further from face picking, mainly because picking at my face with pseudo-claws will probably cause damage and be a little painful.

If I pick at my face with long nails, I'll have to clean my nails, too. Effort. Ugh!

This isn't being graded because long and perfectly manicured fingernails aren't quite compatible with my workout and crafting habits, so it's inevitable that some of the nails will get smashed, chipped, or broken.

UPDATE, Part 2: I DID NOT BREAK ANY NAILS DURING PART 1. NOT EVEN WHILE GOING TO THE GYM REGULARLY.

 

Wait, wasn't this challenge about time management?

 

 

4. Time Management

 

I was hoping to do the Intro to Finance course after my current degree was all done, but sadly this did not happen and now I'm doing this on top of the final preparation for my thesis defense. I will therefore be a hermit until June 22nd, which is the day of the defense. Did I mention that I also have to make a new cosplay before June 26 also? Yeah. Fun times.

 

4.1 - Thesis defense prep.

 

6h per week.

 

4.2 - Cosplay prep.

 

4h per week.

 

^ I'll make goal #4 more interesting to read later. For now it's fairly self-explanatory. Besides, I'm saving time by not writing!

 

To reiterate:

1.1 - Cut down on coffee
1.2 - Hydrate
1.3 - Vegetables
2.1 - Basic financial literacy
2.2 - Number cruncher

3.1 - Five minutes of mindfulness
3.2 - Hand control
3.3 - Epic fingernails

4.1 - Thesis defense prep

4.1 - Cosplay prep

Now, for the ones that are actually being graded:

1.1 - Cut down on coffee:
1.2 - Hydrate EVEN MORE:
2.1 - Basic financial literacy:
3.1 - Five minutes of mindfulness:

4.1 - Thesis defense prep:

4.2 - Cosplay prep:

Re-writing this here is mainly to encourage further laziness, because then I can just copy/paste this entire list for update posts. I realize that I have several goals that aren't being graded, but it's kind of tough to grade something like hand control :\

[Ahyar Dreamspark]

Aaaand we're off!

 

I think I'm shooting myself in the foot by doing the coffee cap goal again. Yesterday I had a second coffee in the afternoon--just a small coffee with no extra strength or anything--and I actually managed to do things in the evening! I went to bed way too late, but it was the first time all week that I was productive. It's like the old feeling that I used to get whenever I had coffee: increase in focus and ability to actually get shit done. I hope I can still do things in the evenings without it.

 

I'll do my best to limit myself to one per day (mainly because I know what the effects of overdoing it are), but it's good to know that caffeine and I can now work together again just in case I ever need it.

 

Speaking of times where I may need coffee, my thesis defense is on June 22.

[Jittersthe.Clown]

Aaaand we're off!

 

I think I'm shooting myself in the foot by doing the coffee cap goal again. Yesterday I had a second coffee in the afternoon--just a small coffee with no extra strength or anything--and I actually managed to do things in the evening! I went to bed way too late, but it was the first time all week that I was productive. It's like the old feeling that I used to get whenever I had coffee: increase in focus and ability to actually get shit done. I hope I can still do things in the evenings without it.

 

I'll do my best to limit myself to one per day (mainly because I know what the effects of overdoing it are), but it's good to know that caffeine and I can now work together again just in case I ever need it.

 

Speaking of times where I may need coffee, my thesis defense is on June 22.

[Teirin]

You will indeed be fine for the thesis defense.  You could maybe run an experiment with the coffee?  Go with the 1 cup goal for the first two weeks, track productivity, increase for the following week and compare?

[Silvergamma]

Hey there fellow coffee goal buddy (also trying to reduce to one cup per day)! Good luck with your goals and your defense!

[Jittersthe.Clown]

How's it going Nax?  

[Ahyar Dreamspark]

Here. Mostly. Drowning in things and to-do lists x_x Will post...soon I hope?

 

It's like, I'm not even slacking and I'm constantly way behind on everything. I need a whole week off work or something. I did tell one of my friends that I could not do a thing on Saturday, though, so hopefully that will free up some time?

 

Will also post grading edits for this challenge next time I make a post.

[Ahyar Dreamspark]

Allright, finally finished editing the original post.

 

 

You will indeed be fine for the thesis defense.  You could maybe run an experiment with the coffee?  Go with the 1 cup goal for the first two weeks, track productivity, increase for the following week and compare?

 

I might have to. That' what I should have done during the break in between challenges ;P

 

I would be more productive in the evening if I had a coffee in the afternoon as well as in the morning, but then I wouldn't be asleep early enough to go to the gym before work. So I'd have to go after work, and that eats a good 2h out of my evening :\ Damned if I do, damned if I don't.

 

I've been a bit more productive lately, mainly with the finance class that I am still behind on. I've done a bit of thesis defense-related things, but not nearly enough if you ask me. Cosplay things have not been touched.

 

I set a Google calendar to help me out, but it seems to be more of a hindrance than anything so far. The reminders NEVER. FREAKING. STOP. It's like fucking Navi the Fairy in Zelda: Ocarina of Time. HEY! HEY! HEY LISTEN! HEY! Shut the fuck up, Google calendar. I know that I have to go to work in 30 minutes. I know that I blocked off a 30 minute time slot to account for the drive to work. No, you do NOT have to tell me that I need to get ready to drive to work 30 minutes before I drive to work. Just shut up. Shut. Up. It wouldn't be so infuriating if it didn't shove the calendar and a popup in my face that doesn't go away until I click on it. Makes watching the finance class videos and taking notes REAL interesting. Especially when it's a reminder that I need to be watching finance class videos.

 

Other things I've done in terms of challenge goals during the last few days:

 

1. Removed Lumosity Raindrops goal. No time. There's math in the finance class anyway, so I'll still be doing a certain extent of number crunching.

 

Speaking of Raindrops, I think that doing it semi-consistently last challenge helped. Not necessarily with numbers, but with perfectionism: toward the end, I didn't care as much when I got some of the problems wrong, and I think that this recent case of whatever-itis has spread to other areas of my life. Didn't get the entire to-do list done at work before 4 PM? Whatever, I did all I could. Didn't get 5L of water for the last few nights? Whatever, I had 3L, and that's better than nothing.

 

If I can't answer some of the questions at my thesis defense? Whatever. I probably can't answer ALL of them, but I do want to be able to answer most of them. I've never been this stress-free before, and it's awesome. So yes, Raindrops will definitely return next round.

 

2. Changed the hydrating goal from pass/fail to a grade system, mainly because I had no idea how difficult it was to up my water intake to 5L. I don't want to fail myself if I only manage to drink 4.5L.

 

3. Added a certain amount of hours to do thesis defense tasks and cosplay tasks. I probably need way more hours, and I'm considering scrapping the grading of these goals entirely just because I don't want to be bothered tracking work time. We will see how this develops. As long as I work on one thing per night, maybe? So far I worked on the finance course every night, mainly because it's learning and it's fun...and it's less pressure ;\

 

 

Hey there fellow coffee goal buddy (also trying to reduce to one cup per day)! Good luck with your goals and your defense!

 

Hey hey! /highfive

 

I hope your coffee reduction battle is going well also. The caffeine dragon can be vanquished! Thanks for the encouragement, too

 

 

How's it going Nax?  

 

Mad busy! I thought of some productivity hacks to help me have more free time in the evening, such as surfing Tumblr at work during file scans (this way I don't have to look for the good posts at home lol). Work has been busier than normal in the last few days, though, and my file scanning downtime was eaten away by e-mails. Curses!

 

I also managed to secure this weekend for myself. Hopefully I can get a ton of shit done.

 

To do by Sunday night:

 

- Thesis defense powerpoints

- A few thesis defense practice runs

- Potential questions list

- Reaction mechanisms to know list

- Cut out all the cosplay scales

- Cut out armor panels for cosplay

- Finish applying Worbla to cosplay crown

 

Tonight: two finance courses and then either PowerPoints or cosplay scales!

 

 

In other news (awesome personal stuff below)

 

Some of you may know that I'm a transgender guy. I gave the "this is a thing that I need to do" letter to my family in January, and it's been a mad fast roller coaster ride ever since--the type of roller coaster where you're doing loops and you have your hands up in the air and a face like XD as you scream YEEEEAAAAA at the top of your lungs. I say it was mad fast because I was expecting to wait for months (if not years) to go through the waiting list rigmarole, but ended up getting launched right into things much faster than I expected.

 

I had top surgery last month (<3 the McLean Clinic, who will actually do this surgery without all the bullshit red rape) and every medical professional I've seen so far said everything looked great and was healing A+. Everyone at my current workplace is either supportive or indifferent, and mom is slowly coming around to the idea of me being a guy. I don't know about dad since he doesn't really like to talk about these things, but I hope all will be okay. In other words, everything is awesome now (aside from the triple deadline) and it's like this year is the opposite of last year. I ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT OPTIMISM FEELS LIKE NOW, for the first time ever.

 

Anyway, today was my first day without the compression garment and gauze over my chest since the surgery. I was just...wearing a shirt. No sports bra, no binder, no nothing. Just a shirt. It was the greatest feeling ever. I finally get what people meant when they said to be grateful for the small things. Good health, the privilege of being born in a fairly well-off family, not getting evicted or disowned, and being allowed to live at home--which allowed me to squirrel away enough thousands of dollars to pay for this surgery, and for my cosplay shenanigans. All things considered, I'm fucking lucky.

 

Oh, and "Naxius" might end up on my new birth certificate.

 

Off to do finance things and have some decaf! And shower. Intervals on the stationary bike today was FFFFFFUUUUUUUU...

[Ahyar Dreamspark]

Did not do too much finance videos last night afterall because the first video I watched said to do the assignment before proceeding to the next chapter. Did 8 out of 10 questions. Will do the other two tonight, along with the more tedious cosplay things.

 

I will also attempt to work on the thesis defense potential questions list while at work today. I just hope it's not as ridiculously busy like it was for the last few days.

 

Got gym out of the way at 6:15 AM and holy fucking shit, there were more bike intervals and they were worse than the ones yesterday and dsfsdgfhfshfhgdg.

 

Completely unrelated note: there was a small article in this month's Scientific American: MIND that linked body-focused repetitive behaviors (like, say, compulsive face-picking) to perfectionism. In the last challenge I managed to become less of a perfectionist and also managed to pick at my face less. Maybe the fact that I attacked both of these problems at the same time had a part to play in my success?

 

I need a method to drink 5L of water in a day. I keep capping out at 3L all the time. It's 60%, so it's a pass, but I want moooooore!

 

 

EDIT: Oh, and last night I re-added deadlifts (with the trap bar) to the list of things that I can do again. 115 lbs 5 x 5 hooray! It wasn't terribly difficult, but I don't want to too much weight too quickly, just in case. Next week, 120 lbs!

 

Also, doing the 5 mins of mindfulness as a break between finance videos seems to be working so far.

[Jittersthe.Clown]

Glad you're doing well up there, Nax.  I'm happy for your progress in all things.  Keep kicking so much ass.

[Silvergamma]

I totally dig the cosplay based goals! When my husband is done with school, it's on my list of things to try my hand at. I love sewing and sculpting -> I drool over all the cool costuming out there!

I can also super relate to the messing around with ones face too much (I've had bad skin since I was a teenager, so some unconscious actions there for me as well). You are the second person I've seen recently mention hand mudras. I hadn't heard about them before, but am totally going to read up on them. Maybe for my next set of goals.

[LittleTurtle]

5 liters of water per day?!  Teach me!  Show me the way!!  I get about 2 and my poor little bladder (which I'm fairly convinced is the size of a kumquat) can harder keep up!

 

Pass or Fail - You. Are. Amazing!!!

[petefeet]

Didn't realize you had two threads going kiddo, following along

[Jittersthe.Clown]

Nax?  

 

 

Nax!?  
 

 

NAX!?

How's it going up North?

[Ahyar Dreamspark]

Nax?  

 

 

Nax!?  

 

 

NAX!?

How's it going up North?

 

 

It goes like AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGG DO ALL THE THINGS NOWNOWNOW DSGADSDGAFGA.

 

It's ok, I got this. Kind of sort of mostly. I think lol.

 

I've been working on the Big Three (thesis defense, online course + assignment, cosplay) consistently and prioritizing as best as I can. The time-saving trick that I developed at the very beginning of the challenge where I check tumblr and/or review things during chunks of downtime at work is no longer a thing because work has been a little more rushy-rush-rush lately. Still blazing through tumblr posts as fast as possible although, honestly, I might just make a post soon that says "I AM NOT KEEPING UP WITH THINGS UNTIL JUNE 22". I only consistently check like 3 or 4 blogs anyway.

 

Coffee-wise, I had to bite the bullet and up my cap to two per day, just because it increases productivity like holy shit. I was sort of starting to panic and stress out a lot because I couldn't focus, and then found myself picking at my face more and more. And more. And more... Face-picking is a shit habit that I managed to beat last challenge, and it took me pretty much all last year of trying and failing before I was finally successful--mainly because I couldn't lift my arms/hands for a while. I won't get this chance again. Compare this to the coffee goal from the last challenge, where I was able to stay at one coffee per day within only one challenge. Or compare with the alcohol challenge from last year where I cold-turkey quit that shit for 33 days.

 

In other words, getting back on the no-coffee wagon will be much easier than getting back on the DON'T-PICK-AT-FACE wagon. In fact, since I'm upping my coffee cap to two until all the deadlines are met, I'll make it a point to not have coffee at all for an equal amount of days where I had two coffees, so it will still work out to one-a-day ;P I'm already tracking coffee usage in a Google sheet.

 

 

I totally dig the cosplay based goals! When my husband is done with school, it's on my list of things to try my hand at. I love sewing and sculpting -> I drool over all the cool costuming out there!

I can also super relate to the messing around with ones face too much (I've had bad skin since I was a teenager, so some unconscious actions there for me as well). You are the second person I've seen recently mention hand mudras. I hadn't heard about them before, but am totally going to read up on them. Maybe for my next set of goals.

 

I am so going to make cosplay a part of my next challenge, since I'll actually have free time. Hell, I'll even make it more of a part of this challenge once my thesis defense is over with. The upcoming convention I'm going to has a workshop on pattern drafting and ERMAHGERD I CAN'T WAIT.

 

Crap, the mudras...I keep forgetting to do more research into them. I tend to stick to the one where my hands are together. I don't remember what it does, but it keeps my hands out of my face lol.

 

 

5 liters of water per day?!  Teach me!  Show me the way!!  I get about 2 and my poor little bladder (which I'm fairly convinced is the size of a kumquat) can harder keep up!

 

Pass or Fail - You. Are. Amazing!!!

 

Oh, I haven't found the way myself yet, haha! I can never seem to get past the 3.0L or 3.5L mark.

 

One thing that I've noticed helps is the meal replacement shake powder I've been having at lunch lately. It's essentially pouring half a litre of water into me (within like 30 seconds because fuck self-control) and having a meal at the same time. Having said this, I have a feeling that juicing might be a good way to go for increasing water intake. Some of my co-workers do the juicing thing regularly, and I see them walk into the office with a 2L jug of juice. I have a juicer at home (well, okay, mom has a juicer) but I haven't had the time to use it yet.

 

I try to be amazing XD

 

 

Didn't realize you had two threads going kiddo, following along

 

Ayup! I have clone threads XD Except this one is less of a failure so far lol.

 

 

In other news, I've hardly had time to check forums lately, and probably won't make another post until my defense is done. Or maybe I'll make small updates during studying breaks, who knows. More studying also results in more mindfulness breaks, which is another thing I've been slacking on lately X(

 

All-in-all, I'm a bit off-track, but am generally handling the stress way better than I would have been last year. Or the year before. Or all the years before, actually.

 

Oh, and I had my first hormone shot yesterday. Took a pic for comparison purposes. ONE EPIC RACK OF ABS, COMING UP SOON!

[Ahyar Dreamspark]

OMGGGGG I STILL CANNOT DO ABRUPT ARM MOTIONS AND THERE IS A MOSQUITO IN THE ROOM AND I CAN'T SWAT AT IT AND FUCK FUCKING FUCK.

 

 

EDIT: If I'm doing 5 minutes of mindfulness and a mosquito lands on me, am I allowed to crush it?

[petefeet]

 

 

EDIT: If I'm doing 5 minutes of mindfulness and a mosquito lands on me, am I allowed to crush it?

Yup, or sick the cat on it, that's what I do.

[Ahyar Dreamspark]

I like how my brain just refuses to work when deadlines approach and things start to matter.

 

I used to love academia, and now all it does for me is trigger one breakdown after another. Confidence is always that feeling I get before I truly understand a situation.

 

I probably won't pass my defense. I wonder if I should look into what happens if one fails, or if I should keep this information as a surprise for Monday afternoon.

[Luciana Valerosa Culming]

I like how my brain just refuses to work when deadlines approach and things start to matter.

I used to love academia, and now all it does for me is trigger one breakdown after another. Confidence is always that feeling I get before I truly understand a situation.

I probably won't pass my defense. I wonder if I should look into what happens if one fails, or if I should keep this information as a surprise for Monday afternoon.

"I probably won't pass my defense." Why? Is this the anxious probably that keeps us from giving our best or is it the one, where you know there are points to improve. Perfectionism is a hard burden. It keeps me from drawing, because the white paper is intimidating. I loved drawing. What's wrong with you girl!? (Me to myself)

Now I really hate it, that we don't have the Babel Fish yet (hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy). I would really like to tell you some things in a more coherent way. And yes, it doesn't help, that an oral exam in English is coming up which is making me feel anxious about my English, too.

Before test or important times there are a few things that help me. 1) get down from coffein a few days before. No option here, but coffein seems to increase my nervousness. I'm a black tea junky, but I guess coffein in coffee can have a similar affect, when you drink to many cups. 2) getting things done and tell yourself, that you did all, that you could without getting ill. And that's the hard part. Telling oneself, that it's ok too not keep working non stop. 3) Talk with people about the topic. And if you don't find some human being that can fake interest, one can talk to the dog or a stuffed animal. 4) Get help or at least social contact. I know this sounds crazy, but sometimes it can help to take some time off to get your mind cleared. This one is really optional. I know people that would get even more nervous. 5) soothing morning rituals. I enjoy drinking tea. Perhaps you have something similar, that can help you relax before getting back on tasks. Doesn't have to be a morning thing. Can also be a five minute thing before getting back on your thesis (it's a little late for establishing new rituals before your defence now, but perhaps you already have one)

6. take a deep breath. "You can do it." You can even look in a mirror and say it out loud. If you aren't used to talk positive to yourself it can help to imagine somebody, who has been supporting you.

Sorry, if this doesn't help at all. I wish you well for your defence. It helps me to create back up plans to realize, that the world isn't ending if I don't pass. "Just" (*haha :/) overthink and get enough sleep. That's the hard part.

[petefeet]

I like how my brain just refuses to work when deadlines approach and things start to matter.

 

I used to love academia, and now all it does for me is trigger one breakdown after another. Confidence is always that feeling I get before I truly understand a situation.

 

I probably won't pass my defense. I wonder if I should look into what happens if one fails, or if I should keep this information as a surprise for Monday afternoon.

 

 

I think we've all that those moments of dread in our lives when we get the cold sweats, the belly cramps, the feelings of impending doom etc... While it might not make your situation any easier kiddo, just know that you're not alone, you have a large support base behind you cheering you on.

 

My best advice (at least PG-13 rated <g>) is to get a really good nights sleep tonight so you're clear headed and alert for Monday.

 

As always, I'm just a text away.

[Ahyar Dreamspark]

"I probably won't pass my defense." Why? Is this the anxious probably that keeps us from giving our best or is it the one, where you know there are points to improve. Perfectionism is a hard burden. It keeps me from drawing, because the white paper is intimidating. I loved drawing. What's wrong with you girl!? (Me to myself)

Now I really hate it, that we don't have the Babel Fish yet (hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy). I would really like to tell you some things in a more coherent way. And yes, it doesn't help, that an oral exam in English is coming up which is making me feel anxious about my English, too.

Before test or important times there are a few things that help me. 1) get down from coffein a few days before. No option here, but coffein seems to increase my nervousness. I'm a black tea junky, but I guess coffein in coffee can have a similar affect, when you drink to many cups. 2) getting things done and tell yourself, that you did all, that you could without getting ill. And that's the hard part. Telling oneself, that it's ok too not keep working non stop. 3) Talk with people about the topic. And if you don't find some human being that can fake interest, one can talk to the dog or a stuffed animal. 4) Get help or at least social contact. I know this sounds crazy, but sometimes it can help to take some time off to get your mind cleared. This one is really optional. I know people that would get even more nervous. 5) soothing morning rituals. I enjoy drinking tea. Perhaps you have something similar, that can help you relax before getting back on tasks. Doesn't have to be a morning thing. Can also be a five minute thing before getting back on your thesis (it's a little late for establishing new rituals before your defence now, but perhaps you already have one)

6. take a deep breath. "You can do it." You can even look in a mirror and say it out loud. If you aren't used to talk positive to yourself it can help to imagine somebody, who has been supporting you.

Sorry, if this doesn't help at all. I wish you well for your defence. It helps me to create back up plans to realize, that the world isn't ending if I don't pass. "Just" (*haha :/) overthink and get enough sleep. That's the hard part.

 

I mainly worried about failing because that last post was written through a waterfall of tears after like the 4th consecutive breakdown that day, It just...happens sometimes. Then I blame myself because I didn't spend every waking minute with my nose in the books/notes, which is not realistic. Still doesn't make the panic stop though lol.

 

And then I txted one of my friends about how I was all like PANIC MODE and really worried, and the response was:

 

"Then relax! You cannot fail this unless you want to."

 

^ Ladies and gentlemen, THE worst possible thing to say to someone in this situation.

 

Anyway. The defense is in just a little less than 3 hours. I can't even feel anything right now lol. Just numbness and complete apathy. It's like walking toward the chopping block and hoping the axe misses your neck, but knowing in the back of your mind that it might not, and there's nothing you can do about it.

 

(And if the axe does strike true, then more axes will fall when I get back home and make the announcement. Fun!)

 

 

I think we've all that those moments of dread in our lives when we get the cold sweats, the belly cramps, the feelings of impending doom etc... While it might not make your situation any easier kiddo, just know that you're not alone, you have a large support base behind you cheering you on.

 

My best advice (at least PG-13 rated <g>) is to get a really good nights sleep tonight so you're clear headed and alert for Monday.

 

As always, I'm just a text away.

 

Not clear-headed and not very alert, but I've done presentations in states much worse than this in the past, I suppose.

 

Will hopefully not fail. I just do. Not. Want. This goddamn thesis looming over my head anymore.

 

BBL with some pass/fail news...

[Ahyar Dreamspark]

IT'S DONE.

 

 

 

[Ahyar Dreamspark]

And it looks like the cosplay thing is not happening. The con starts Friday and the costume I wanted to make is nowhere hear ready. Thankfully I still have the Loki one (and ordered a wig just in case this ended up happening), but wearing that costume in the summer time is painful lol.

 

I wonder if I can make a last-minute costume in the next 2 days. I somewhat started it last night, and I have an idea for doing this costume relatively easily and cheaply, but the previous costume I was working on was also theoretically easy and cheap to make, so everything may go to shit nonetheless. I also need to go shopping for some cheap base clothes to modify, and there's no guarantee I'll find the things I need :\

 

I want coffee so bad right now and the coffee pot is just sitting right there outside my office. Aaaaargh! And there's still 3 hours left in the day. I think I'm at 33/42 for coffees for this challenge right now, and I'll most likely hit 42 during or after Animaritime this weekend. After that, I am going to be very sad and cranky.

 

I have a feeling that the next week will involve getting back on track when it comes to the water and caffeine goals, and then catching up on the finance class videos, and there's also some final thesis corrections to do.

 

...FFS IT'S LIKE I'M JUST AS BUSY AS I WAS LAST WEEK

[petefeet]

...FFS IT'S LIKE I'M JUST AS BUSY AS I WAS LAST WEEK

 

Be that as it may, you seem to be handling it much better than when I first met you a year ago kiddo!

[Ahyar Dreamspark]

Define "much better" ;P I just about had a tearful rage-fit last night while working on costume-related bullshit. I swear, there is nothing more frustrating than putting an overwhelming amount of effort into something and having it not work/fall apart.

 

I'm going to make a list of cosplay rules/facts:

 

1 - If a thing should realistically take a week to do, plan 6 months to do it.

 

2 - If it's the day before the convention, things will break or not work.

 

3 - The items you ordered from the Internet will not get to you on time.

 

4 - Your sewing machine will break shortly before the deadline.

 

5 - Need a cheap shirt or pair of pants to modify for your costume? You will be missing one of these items, especially if you've already bought all the other materials for the costume and the deadline is within 5 days.

 

5.5 - Okay, so maybe you can make your costume work without that one piece. If you believe this is true, refer to point #2.

 

6. You will not sleep more than 3h per night during the week of the convention.

 

I'll add more later, because I still have one night left to work on things ;\