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Hiraedd: one tiny step at a time


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What's going on? Good, bad, shitty, wonderful?

 

As much as we can, we will be here with you, for you.

 

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And that we will lead ourselves out of the darkness..

 

:love_heart:, Fearkiller

 

"There is beauty in hardship / There are poems in grief" -Assemblage 23, Damaged

| STR:2.25 | DEX:2.25 | STA:2 | CON:1.25 | CHA:3.25 | WIS:7 | A place I will collect my woots - if I remember

Challenges | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |  6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 15.115.2 |

Milythaels'  HOoRAY for which I am grateful | Today, right now, I am alive. And that is good.

It is amazing the power of those small gestures of love and kindness have on our lives. <3 - Liberator

"I myself am made entirely of flaws, stiched together with good intentions." - Augusten Burroughs, Magical thinking:True stories

"Pick up the pieces and keep going, one painfully slow step at a time." Hiraedd the twice-risen, hamadryad. 

"Spread love and understanding. Use force if necessary." - Leon Trotsky

"Let me think about the people I care about the most, and when they fail or disappoint me, I still love them, I still give them chances, and I still see the best in them. Let me extend that generosity to myself." zefrank1, An Invocation for Beginnings

"I don't feel guilty for wanting. That's like being mad because you have to breathe or pee. It just is." Someone in Reddit

"If you do strange things, strange things will happen!"

"That's it! Now go make something beautiful." -Jake Parker

 

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Wow.  Thank you so much for the love.  It is so appreciated!:love_heart:

 

So...I didn't make the 9 weeks until summer that I talked about in April.  On May 20th I had my father take me to the emergency room for suicidal thoughts that wouldn't stop.  I was seen by a psychiatrist that night who tripled my medication and released me with the additional diagnosis (on top of major depressive/generalized anxiety disorder from March) of emotional exhaustion.  I now have a team of 6 professionals (family doctor, psychiatrist, psychologist, dietitian, exercise specialist, massage therapist) working with me to try to help me find a new normal, and I only have to pay for 2 of them (psychologist, massage therapist).  God Bless Canada's healthcare system.

 

I am on paid medical stress leave from work.  I am doing lots of projects around home and am working through books that the psychologist has recommended.  I can't do groups or crowds but am still getting together with friends in small doses and my psychiatrist is confident that by August I'll be able to do public places again.

 

Yeah.  So...it is what it is, I guess.  I'm glad to be alive.  I'm sleeping about 6 nights out of 7 and I actually have energy during the day.  I am no longer a sloth, or even a turtle (which was my default speed).  And hopefully by September I'll be healthy enough to return to work.

  • Like 2

Hiraedd the Twice Risen:

Hamadryad; Pilgrim

battle log

 

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I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. I'm very happy you were able to get some help and have people working with you. I fully believe you are going to be able to come back from this.

Current Challenge

"By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath

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On 19.6.2016 at 0:42 AM, Hiraedd said:

Wow.  Thank you so much for the love.  It is so appreciated!:love_heart:

 

So...I didn't make the 9 weeks until summer that I talked about in April.  On May 20th I had my father take me to the emergency room for suicidal thoughts that wouldn't stop.  I was seen by a psychiatrist that night who tripled my medication and released me with the additional diagnosis (on top of major depressive/generalized anxiety disorder from March) of emotional exhaustion.  I now have a team of 6 professionals (family doctor, psychiatrist, psychologist, dietitian, exercise specialist, massage therapist) working with me to try to help me find a new normal, and I only have to pay for 2 of them (psychologist, massage therapist).  God Bless Canada's healthcare system.

 

I am on paid medical stress leave from work.  I am doing lots of projects around home and am working through books that the psychologist has recommended.  I can't do groups or crowds but am still getting together with friends in small doses and my psychiatrist is confident that by August I'll be able to do public places again.

 

Yeah.  So...it is what it is, I guess.  I'm glad to be alive.  I'm sleeping about 6 nights out of 7 and I actually have energy during the day.  I am no longer a sloth, or even a turtle (which was my default speed).  And hopefully by September I'll be healthy enough to return to work.

Heyy it's you! :wub: ^-^ :love_heart: :lol:

:P

 

Suicidal thoughts? :( ..shit.

Those suck. They're frightening, whether there's the intention to act on them or not.

 

"God Bless Canada's healthcare system." Yes yes yes ^_^ 

Good to know there's someone helping you. 

Give them a hug from me too^_^

 

"There is beauty in hardship / There are poems in grief" -Assemblage 23, Damaged

| STR:2.25 | DEX:2.25 | STA:2 | CON:1.25 | CHA:3.25 | WIS:7 | A place I will collect my woots - if I remember

Challenges | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |  6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 15.115.2 |

Milythaels'  HOoRAY for which I am grateful | Today, right now, I am alive. And that is good.

It is amazing the power of those small gestures of love and kindness have on our lives. <3 - Liberator

"I myself am made entirely of flaws, stiched together with good intentions." - Augusten Burroughs, Magical thinking:True stories

"Pick up the pieces and keep going, one painfully slow step at a time." Hiraedd the twice-risen, hamadryad. 

"Spread love and understanding. Use force if necessary." - Leon Trotsky

"Let me think about the people I care about the most, and when they fail or disappoint me, I still love them, I still give them chances, and I still see the best in them. Let me extend that generosity to myself." zefrank1, An Invocation for Beginnings

"I don't feel guilty for wanting. That's like being mad because you have to breathe or pee. It just is." Someone in Reddit

"If you do strange things, strange things will happen!"

"That's it! Now go make something beautiful." -Jake Parker

 

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Thanks, guys.  

 

And Fearkiller, I'm sorry that you know how it feels but at the same time I'm relieved that I don't have to make you understand it.  I had no intentions of acting on them which is why I went to the hospital but they were still hands down some of the scariest things that have happened in my life...and that's saying something.

 

I am continuing to work at it and have respawned.  You can find me in the druids, although I'll still be updating here too. :)

 

There are not enough words for my thankfulness for your care and support through this. 

  • Like 2

Hiraedd the Twice Risen:

Hamadryad; Pilgrim

battle log

 

Link to comment
3 hours ago, Hiraedd said:

Thanks, guys.  

 

And Fearkiller, I'm sorry that you know how it feels but at the same time I'm relieved that I don't have to make you understand it.  I had no intentions of acting on them which is why I went to the hospital but they were still hands down some of the scariest things that have happened in my life...and that's saying something.

 

I am continuing to work at it and have respawned.  You can find me in the druids, although I'll still be updating here too. :)

 

There are not enough words for my thankfulness for your care and support through this. 

I'm following the hell out of that challenge.

  • Like 1

Current Challenge

"By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath

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10 hours ago, Hiraedd said:

Thanks, guys.  

 

And Fearkiller, I'm sorry that you know how it feels but at the same time I'm relieved that I don't have to make you understand it.  

 

Oh, it's mostly alright now ^-^ 

But thank you for your concern <3 

:( ...

Thank God for friends, though.

 

10 hours ago, Hiraedd said:

I had no intentions of acting on them which is why I went to the hospital but they were still hands down some of the scariest things that have happened in my life...and that's saying something.

 

That's good.

I.. can imagine what it must've been like.

*plenty of hugs*

 

*and then some*

 

10 hours ago, Hiraedd said:

There are not enough words for my thankfulness for your care and support through this. 

I think that covers it quite well ^-^

*more hugs*

 

*Goes off to find your challenge!*

(Excitement.)

"There is beauty in hardship / There are poems in grief" -Assemblage 23, Damaged

| STR:2.25 | DEX:2.25 | STA:2 | CON:1.25 | CHA:3.25 | WIS:7 | A place I will collect my woots - if I remember

Challenges | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |  6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 15.115.2 |

Milythaels'  HOoRAY for which I am grateful | Today, right now, I am alive. And that is good.

It is amazing the power of those small gestures of love and kindness have on our lives. <3 - Liberator

"I myself am made entirely of flaws, stiched together with good intentions." - Augusten Burroughs, Magical thinking:True stories

"Pick up the pieces and keep going, one painfully slow step at a time." Hiraedd the twice-risen, hamadryad. 

"Spread love and understanding. Use force if necessary." - Leon Trotsky

"Let me think about the people I care about the most, and when they fail or disappoint me, I still love them, I still give them chances, and I still see the best in them. Let me extend that generosity to myself." zefrank1, An Invocation for Beginnings

"I don't feel guilty for wanting. That's like being mad because you have to breathe or pee. It just is." Someone in Reddit

"If you do strange things, strange things will happen!"

"That's it! Now go make something beautiful." -Jake Parker

 

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