Annyshay Becomes the Hero of Time

[annyshay]

7/24

Fairy - meditation and quiet time

Sword - elements day 5

Shield - three mindful meals tracked, 124gm carbs, drank a TON of water since it is so hot... May as well start that academy quest too

Stay cool, rebels!

[annyshay]

7/25
Fairy - quiet time and completed the 30 day sleep pack on headspace, w00t

Sword - Elements day 6, so much hip opening

Shield - 3 mindful meals of simple deliciousness, 97gm carbs, and two days in a row that I have decided wine was not worth it, great success

Since I've reached 40 rupees, it's time to LEVEL UP!

 

New challenge starts Monday, over here if you haven't found me yet.

[Lara]

You've got your shield!! Congratulations!

[annyshay]

You've got your shield!! Congratulations!

Why thank you!  I'm sure that I'll need it in the dungeons to come. 

[annyshay]

It’s been an interesting year and a half for me in terms of my health.  I’m really grateful for all the rebels that have supported me through this time. Check under the spoiler if you want to hear about what the process has been like.

 

When work and my brain conspired against me to create a deep depression in April 2014, my focus immediately shifted from weight loss to making my brain safe again. I am extremely proud of the ways that I worked to overcome depression – counseling (with an idiot that I later got rid of), learning mindfulness, taking medications, working through books to learn CBT, and generally revamping the way that I dealt with stress. This was all tied in with that was a lot of learning around self-love and self-care. I’m happy to report that my brain has been a safe place for me for many months despite a LOT of recent life and work stress. Clearly, some of the habits and skills I have developed are helping!
In the past, it has taken a LOT of effort for me to consistently lose weight (nobody else has had this experience, I am sure ). When weight loss is not my priority, I have gained weight back to a point where I feel uncomfortable in my clothes and start to judge myself pretty harshly for “failing†again. My weight is at that level currently. I feel uncomfortable in my clothes. But, my mental chatter is different this time. The same horrible self-judgments bounce through my head now - “you just can’t keep a healthy weight†- etc etc. Some combination of the habits above has developed my ability to question these thoughts and reject them.
I do not want to make excuses for the fact that my weight is up. Neither do I want to neglect the very real progress that I have made in many domains. I have improved my mental health, sleep habits, paleo cooking skills, mindfulness around food, enjoyment of multiple types of movement, mental approach to learning new skills, and developed an awesome support system. I am more flexible and strong than I have been for most of my life. I love my body. I’m willing to post photos and pictures on the internet of my silly attempts at fitness. These are not small things and they are NOT made any less real by the fact that my weight is up.
Despite all of that, I want to decrease my weight and improve my body composition. And that is ok. Working to decrease my weight is not always shallow and DOES NOT mean that I have to abandon the skills, habits, and self-love that I have worked so hard to gain over the last few years. In fact, healthy sustainable weight loss is a core reason that many of us join the rebellion. So, I will refocus on improving the composition of my physical body WHILE following the rules of the rebellion.
1) We don’t care where you came from, only where you’re going.
2) When you join, you’re in for life.
3) We train as naturally as possible.
4) We understand that you can’t outrun your fork.
5) We understand that fat is not the enemy.
6) We train with conviction and intelligence.
7) We exercise because it’s fun.
8) We never leave our wingmen.
9) We question everything.
10) We take care of business.
11) We take pride in ourselves.

 

All the philosophy aside, I am ready to make a commitment to myself and to all my rebel supporters. I am going to improve my body composition. I am most comfortable with my weight as a benchmark, but I will also use pictures, measurements, and body fat percentage to help me follow my progress.  What gets measured gets improved, right?

So, my main quest?

 

I will weigh less than 160 pounds by Easter (3/27/2016).

 

It’s terrifying to put that in writing, which is silly, since it is almost always the goal in my head.  It’s time to be honest with myself about my goal and start formulating steps for success.  Who’s with me?

 

[Lara]

You have walked a long path, and it's nice to see someone changing her life in so many ways. I can't, unfortunately, be with you with the weight loss, but you got all my support. I hope you will achieve your goal and that you will celebrate it with us! (with pictures in dazzling new clothes?!).

 

[Elastigirl]

Love it! Can't wait to see all the awesome progress you will make.

[Mera Curry]

I love Zelda and Link. 

 

Keep going, you're awesome.

 

Mera

[annyshay]

You have walked a long path, and it's nice to see someone changing her life in so many ways. I can't, unfortunately, be with you with the weight loss, but you got all my support. I hope you will achieve your goal and that you will celebrate it with us! (with pictures in dazzling new clothes?!).

 

Of course.  I am so glad that you're walking with me.

 

Love it! Can't wait to see all the awesome progress you will make.

 

I love Zelda and Link. 

 

Keep going, you're awesome.

 

Mera

No, you're awesome.

[Mad Hatter]

I had forgotten the rules of the rebellion, but it was a great reminder of how awesome this forum is.

 

Looking forward to see you rock your goal!

[annyshay]

I had forgotten the rules of the rebellion, but it was a great reminder of how awesome this forum is.

 

Looking forward to see you rock your goal!

Exactly. I was like... wow, that sums up the awesomeness that is NF... oh, right.

[elsfaire]

Wholeheartedly supporting you (though that support may show up intermittently). You have made awesome progress so far, and here's to your continued growth (shrinkage? )!

Using awesome technology to communicate from anywhere.

[annyshay]

Wholeheartedly supporting you (though that support may show up intermittently). You have made awesome progress so far, and here's to your continued growth (shrinkage? )!

Using awesome technology to communicate from anywhere.

Both! Both is good!

[annyshay]

Alright nerds, let's try a spreadsheet!!!

 

Spreadsheet of Progress

[annyshay]

My main quest is to improve my body composition dramatically by Easter of next year.  Currently, I have it written as a weight loss goal, but that feels incomplete to me.  I want to be happy, healthy, and look awesome... but that's too vague to achieve (not vague = did I slay that dragon?).  I've been thinking and reading a lot about how to measure since I decided to really focus on improving my body composition a few weeks ago.  Steve's article is helpful and reminded me that weight is not usually the best measurement of improvement.  This quote (aimed at my yoda    Elastigirl who hit an AWESOME PR this week) also moved me to re-think whether a weight loss goal is precisely what I'm after:

 

It is hard to not always feel like we should be dainty little china-doll women, until you have a deep conversation with yourself and realize that that is not you, and you just happen to be a badass instead 

 

I've been told that I'm a badass.  It surprised me, but on thinking about it... it's true.      I never want to be dainty.

 

So, I'm trying to figure out how to measure whether or not I have become the badass with healthy body composition that I am aiming to be by next Easter.  Do you guys think an outcome measure is even helpful (ie, <160 pounds, <25% body fat, normal BMI, etc)? Can you think of other ways that I could decide on Easter whether I have or have not slain my body composition dragon?  I'm really interested in your thoughts, so don't think these are rhetorical questions!!! 

[annyshay]

All right, here's the new baseline...

 

Photos taken and stored for posterity

[elsfaire]

It is hard to not always feel like we should be dainty little china-doll women, until you have a deep conversation with yourself and realize that that is not you, and you just happen to be a badass instead

I've been told that I'm a badass. It surprised me, but on thinking about it... it's true. I never want to be dainty.

So, I'm trying to figure out how to measure whether or not I have become the badass with healthy body composition that I am aiming to be by next Easter. Do you guys think an outcome measure is even helpful (ie, <160 pounds, <25% body fat, normal BMI, etc)? Can you think of other ways that I could decide on Easter whether I have or have not slain my body composition dragon? I'm really interested in your thoughts, so don't think these are rhetorical questions!!!

I wonder if this post by my dear friend Jenn might help. She is a crossfitter and paleo and QUITE the badass. She loves to talk fitness, and teaches crossfit too, so she would probably love to talk with you about some alternate goals and how to measure.

http://rationaljenn.blogspot.com/2014/03/this-is-what-real-crossfitter-looks-like.html?m=1

Using awesome technology to communicate from anywhere.

[annyshay]

I wonder if this post by my dear friend Jenn might help. She is a crossfitter and paleo and QUITE the badass. She loves to talk fitness, and teaches crossfit too, so she would probably love to talk with you about some alternate goals and how to measure.

http://rationaljenn.blogspot.com/2014/03/this-is-what-real-crossfitter-looks-like.html?m=1

AH! I've read that post before!  Reading it again was really helpful.  I'm continuing to muse with the help of my dear NF'ers.  I love that you guys won't let me ignore all my badass and beauty just because of stupid numbers.  Thank you, and please thank Jenn for posting that!

[annyshay]

A lot of you have reminded me that awesome looks different depending on what my goals are.  I've been really struggling with what exactly my goals are.  Here's the article where Steve describes the Triforce of Awesome.  I think I've been falling into the trap of trying for all the goals all at once.

 

 

I want to be an outdoors woman.  The Adirondacks got in my blood early.  Hiking, kayaking, snowshoeing, and backpacking. Mountains, lakes, tall trees, and waterfalls.  Some day, I will thru hike.  I have the basics already.  I survived the Presidential Traverse in mid September.  I've kayaked along the coast of Maine.  I have an excellent hiking buddy (even if she lives far away). Fall is some of my favorite hiking time.  Winter will be an excellent time to get a crazy strong foundation.  Next year... I'm going after all sorts of state parks.  Minnesota has a hiking club and passport club around their state parks.  Plots plots plots.

[annyshay]

Ok... very nervous, but I am posting before photos.       I know you kids got my back, but this is still hard.

 

Here is what I look like this morning.

 

 

 

Here are my measurements from this morning.

 

 

Also, last weekend, I went to have my body fat measured at a BodPod.  Basically, I wore skimpy clothes into a tiny spaceship pod and had air blown at me.  From that, height and weight, the computer gave me a print out with all kinds of information.

 

Body Fat % - 40.7

Fat Mass - 75.629 lbs

Fat Free Mass - 110.366 lbs

Body Mass - 185.995 lbs

 

So, this is where I'm starting.  Let's see where I can get to.  

[Mad Hatter]

You look adorable. 

[annyshay]

You look adorable. 

   You're a peach!  

[Lara]

You are brave for posting the pictures! It is NOT easy at all. Now we want to see the change on the next ones! It is going to happen, do not doubt it!

Brava!

[annyshay]

You are brave for posting the pictures! It is NOT easy at all. Now we want to see the change on the next ones! It is going to happen, do not doubt it!

Brava!

awww, thanks Lara.

[karinajean]

oh, friend. this first snip - I am SO with you on this, and SO with you on how hard it was to get to this point where I can say the same thing.

Despite all of that, I want to decrease my weight and improve my body composition. And that is ok. Working to decrease my weight is not always shallow and DOES NOT mean that I have to abandon the skills, habits, and self-love that I have worked so hard to gain over the last few years. In fact, healthy sustainable weight loss is a core reason that many of us join the rebellion. So, I will refocus on improving the composition of my physical body WHILE following the rules of the rebellion.
 

...

 

All the philosophy aside, I am ready to make a commitment to myself and to all my rebel supporters. I am going to improve my body composition. I am most comfortable with my weight as a benchmark, but I will also use pictures, measurements, and body fat percentage to help me follow my progress.  What gets measured gets improved, right?

So, my main quest?

 

I will weigh less than 160 pounds by Easter (3/27/2016).

 

It’s terrifying to put that in writing, which is silly, since it is almost always the goal in my head.  It’s time to be honest with myself about my goal and start formulating steps for success.  Who’s with me?

 

 

 

and for this second part! yay, I'm with you!