Stronkey Kong Posted March 27, 2014 Report Share Posted March 27, 2014 Moose protector? I laid out my diet plan on my battle log in more detail, but in essence, the world will be less by several chickens next month. I hope the heart thing is nothing serious. What you describe does remind me of the times leading up to when I flipped out. I'm meeting with a doc about meds next week, we'll see. Anywho, congrats on making it through your detox and, 10 lbs! WOOT! This message was generated by a room full of monkeys typing randomly--as you can see, they are far from producing Shakespeare. Quote ===================================================================================================== --Stronkey Kong-- Link to comment
Jaelen Posted March 27, 2014 Report Share Posted March 27, 2014 Hey. Welcome back! Sounds like you've been going through a lot lately, so I wouldn't be surprised if anxiety has been causing some of your problems. Your body can feel the effects even when your mind thinks it has a handle on everything. Either way, we all rooting for ya. I've been back in lurker mode, myself. Got signed out..forgot password...to much effort to reset...blah blah blah. But anyway, I had to come back and say we're glad you're back. Good luck. @Darwin - I like your diet plans. Chickens are bastards. They have it coming. 1 Quote "When I say 'Ascend to a higher level of consciousness'...you say 'HOW HIGH, SIR?!'" - B Katt Level 2 WarriorChallenges - 1 - 2 Link to comment
llsoszynski@gmail.com Posted March 30, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 30, 2014 Moose protector? I laid out my diet plan on my battle log in more detail, but in essence, the world will be less by several chickens next month.I hope the heart thing is nothing serious. What you describe does remind me of the times leading up to when I flipped out. I'm meeting with a doc about meds next week, we'll see.Anywho, congrats on making it through your detox and, 10 lbs! WOOT!This message was generated by a room full of monkeys typing randomly--as you can see, they are far from producing Shakespeare. lol i sleep with a stuffed moose. he protects me from my monsters... lol. I'm starting to think the heart thing was nothing serious, and just anxiety, since its dramatically slowed down and is almost back to normal unless I start stressing about something/drink. Glad you're seeing a doc, I'm gunna talk to mine about switching my meds. aaaand yeah 10lbs!.... but then had a breakdown on friday/saturday and just ate like crap and drank pretty much two days straight. I got a gym session in on Sat tho and I hit it today pretty hard (might again tonight).. but yeah, this weekend was a bust. oops! I'll definitely check out your log, sorry I've been MIA the last few days! Hey. Welcome back! Sounds like you've been going through a lot lately, so I wouldn't be surprised if anxiety has been causing some of your problems. Your body can feel the effects even when your mind thinks it has a handle on everything. Either way, we all rooting for ya. I've been back in lurker mode, myself. Got signed out..forgot password...to much effort to reset...blah blah blah. But anyway, I had to come back and say we're glad you're back. Good luck. @Darwin - I like your diet plans. Chickens are bastards. They have it coming. Hey dude! Good to see you around. Lol sounds like the lazy way "ohhh well I don't have my PW...." haha. Atleast you're in lurker mode though, better than nothing feel free to lurk around these parts! Quote Anything is possible for him who believes. (Mark 9:23)"The wise man sees in the misfortune of others what he should avoid." -Marcus AureliusCurrent challengeMy TrainingSTR-10 DEX-6 STA-9 CON-4 WIS-16.5 CHA-5 Link to comment
llsoszynski@gmail.com Posted March 30, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 30, 2014 So lets post workouts then I'll explain the mental breakdown Thursday- 3 mile run in the morning, DL 185 5x5 (coming off the detox I was weak as --), absFriday- rest day, ate like crap, drank alotSaturday- ate like crap, drank alot, BUT did powercleans up to 155! like nothin then a BW circuitToday- ran a mile, snatches up to 110, felt pretty good, then alot of upper body stuff (DB rows, 15lb t-pushups, pullups), abs Today my sweat at the gym smelled like tequila, mcdonalds, and shame So lets start with the mental breakdown on friday. No idea what the trigger was, it was a sunny day, warm, I had slept the night before, didn't drink, had a good morning with a friend, then all the sudden BAM hey depression whats up!! It kicked my ASSSSSSSSSSS. HARD. So I was having a super anxiety attack on my way home from my friends (~hr drive), and couldn't shake the feeling of wanting to run somewhere, so against my better judgement I got home, packed my stuff, and got a hotel room down in plymouth. I proceeded to invest in a case of Sam Adams and a bottle of shitty whiskey with the intention of relaxing, doing school work, just chilling, being alone. But I got a few beers in and just vegged out, tv, balcony, talking to people, I went swimming, and (shame) ordered chinese food. AND stuffed my face with it. Depression got the best of me that night and I fell asleep/passed out after taking a few (alot) of my anxiety pills. Had the intention of sleeping though the weekend but unfortunately I woke up at 6, got a coffee and did school work in the morning till check out. Got home, anxiety again, fell asleep for a while. Drove around, ended up saying fuck it and I went to the gym, sweat my brains off and beat the shit out of those weights. Felt better, went to dinner (my "birthday dinner" even tho my bday was in Feb.. better late than never) w the fam, ate too much again. Got a call from my cousin, went over there and hung with her, my aunt and uncle and his son and they know how to bar hop. And they know all the owners of all the bars. They were feeding me shots, and in my fuck it mindset it was whatever. Then they got mcdonalds, aaaaaaand I had nuggets and a cheeseburger lol. At 2 in the morning. Passed out on the couch, woke up, and went straight to the gym. Luckily today I feel like I'm snapping out of it. Maybe I'm still drunk, idk. I had a really shitty couple days thanks to this wonderful mind of mine, but I just went grocery shopping and got tons of chicken and veggies and intend on eating just that for the next however long I'm here till NC. Then do the same thing in NC. I also decided I need to move out. BAD. So 1) if the job falls through, I'm applying to police depts up this way, and moving out 2) i'm applying to UXO jobs/EOD instructor jobs and leaving the country for a year 3) I haven't gotten this far yet.... I'm also ranting/venting/thinking out loud/just let it happen I can't shake the massive amounts of anger I've been feeling lately. It went away last week during the detox but this week its back and its strong. So the workouts are a beast of their own nature these days, and I'm thinking of setting a schedule up for 2-a-days if I can't get out and run in the morning or evening. I know I've said this before but I as much as this anger is destroying me, is as much as the gym helps in a therapeutic way and makes me feel good again. At least lets me get the frustration out. So this weekend is also drill weekend = living in army barracks for 3 days eating shit food and not sleeping alot cause they like to go out, i'll work with it. then I have a week off, then its 2 weeks of army shyte, in barracks, crap food, no gym. I'll research it and make it work. So goals for soon 1) eat well2) chillax3) water4) prep meals, cook chicken5) write up gym schedule6) research gyms near barracks7) catch up school work8) try not to drink as much as I did this weekend9) eat clean10) eat clean11) eat clean12) try sleeping again (i got so good at it before!)13) get ahead on school work so I don't need to worry about much at AT14) read over some EOD stuff15) map out the route for AT16) finish this list so i can start going17) i need to pee Quote Anything is possible for him who believes. (Mark 9:23)"The wise man sees in the misfortune of others what he should avoid." -Marcus AureliusCurrent challengeMy TrainingSTR-10 DEX-6 STA-9 CON-4 WIS-16.5 CHA-5 Link to comment
Stronkey Kong Posted March 30, 2014 Report Share Posted March 30, 2014 GMDA-great minds drink alike. I also had some McD's on Friday -lol. Sorry about the anxiety though. Though, that sounds rough. Glad you got some of it out at the gym. This message was generated by a room full of monkeys typing randomly--as you can see, they are far from producing Shakespeare. Quote ===================================================================================================== --Stronkey Kong-- Link to comment
llsoszynski@gmail.com Posted March 31, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 31, 2014 i lost a real good friend yesterday. surreal. a whole different wave of feelings. trying to be strong for him cause he'd slap me if he saw me crying and slipping. so charlie mike, boys, charlie mike. before i found out yesterday, i was working on setting up workouts so if i do two-a-days i won't keep overlapping things. I got 4 base workouts (snatch, PC, squat, and DL) and 4 supp workouts i'd do at the end of the day that are cardio and toning based. ima need alot more chicken though if im gunna do this. the anger i've been feeling so long has definitely been temporarily muted because of what happened. I'm kind of on autopilot and hoping i can turn the depression into anger and motivation to work harder and get more done. maybe i'll bribe my gym to get me a new kettlebell and put a trx anchor in the ceiling so i dont need to steal the powerrack every time i wanna hook them up Quote Anything is possible for him who believes. (Mark 9:23)"The wise man sees in the misfortune of others what he should avoid." -Marcus AureliusCurrent challengeMy TrainingSTR-10 DEX-6 STA-9 CON-4 WIS-16.5 CHA-5 Link to comment
Stronkey Kong Posted March 31, 2014 Report Share Posted March 31, 2014 Damn Laini. Sorry. Stay strong, but don't forget to grieve. Quote ===================================================================================================== --Stronkey Kong-- Link to comment
llsoszynski@gmail.com Posted April 1, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 1, 2014 Thanks, John. True words of wisdom. If you don't grieve, you bottle it up, if you bottle it up, it explodes at some point. Have to say I've been on autopilot and don't really remember the last two days of what happened or what i did. I do know that yesterday I went to the gym for a normal back squat day, got there at 930.. finished my "scheduled" workout, but as I was finishing it a new burst of anger and grief hit me HARD, and I just kept going. I did a little bit of everything, and towards the end i was just on the row machine pulling as hard and as fast as i could till i had to stop before i puked. Delayed leaving the gym as long as I could.. but had to leave eventually, so at 1230 I left, aaaand i lost it real good. after that i didn't eat till later, had a HUGE BLT burger and sweet potato fries. Ate the whole thing, but thats all I ate yesterday. that and an adult beverage periodically throughout the day. Not to the point of being drunk, but constant buzz i guess. tomorrow i see my shrink, gunna ask about meds i can take that will not alter my productivity throughout the day. todays gym session: Barbell bench- 45 x1065 x10, x585 x5 x595 x5 105 x5 x565 x10 OHP65lb 5x7 cable tri pulldown 90lbs x5 x5cable row 100lbs x5 x5 dips x5 x5 stretchedtoast done oh. yesterday was legs, aaaaand so my legs are shot and upperbody will be shot tomorrow, ima be so useless last night i tried to sleep not drunk and without meds, i literally have never felt so awake in my life. every time i closed my eyes i just thought of my friend and the last things going thru his mind.. i can't think about it, but its all i think about. I finally fell asleep at 6am only to wake up screaming about spiders and after that every time i felt the drift off to sleep my body would jolt awake in anxiety. so I got like 2 hrs of sleep last night. I havent crashed yet, either, so im wondering when and how hard that will be Quote Anything is possible for him who believes. (Mark 9:23)"The wise man sees in the misfortune of others what he should avoid." -Marcus AureliusCurrent challengeMy TrainingSTR-10 DEX-6 STA-9 CON-4 WIS-16.5 CHA-5 Link to comment
llsoszynski@gmail.com Posted April 2, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2014 another sleepless night of eating my heartbeat and not being able to stop thinking. and terrors. todays workoutdeadlift135 x5 x2155 x5 x2185 x5205 x5225 x5 x2245 x5265 x3 x2275 x1 x2285 x1275 x1225 x5 135 x5 5 cycles of15 closehand pushups15-20 incline bench situps stretched done went to the doc she gave me a new medication to try that may help with my heart. who knows. eating time Quote Anything is possible for him who believes. (Mark 9:23)"The wise man sees in the misfortune of others what he should avoid." -Marcus AureliusCurrent challengeMy TrainingSTR-10 DEX-6 STA-9 CON-4 WIS-16.5 CHA-5 Link to comment
Stronkey Kong Posted April 3, 2014 Report Share Posted April 3, 2014 Awesome workout! Hope it helps you sleep. This message was generated by a room full of monkeys typing randomly--as you can see, they are far from producing Shakespeare. Quote ===================================================================================================== --Stronkey Kong-- Link to comment
matty_mcfly Posted April 3, 2014 Report Share Posted April 3, 2014 Your deadlift makes me jealous! Hopefully you're getting sleep preferably peaceful sleep Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk Quote "I can. I will. I must." 3rd Challenge - The One Where I Pretend To Be a Strongman; Spoiler 2nd Challenge - The One Where I Pretend To Be a Triathlete; 1st Challenge - The One Where I Move North of Vag; My Daily Battle Log Link to comment
llsoszynski@gmail.com Posted April 3, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2014 thanks guys I will say though my back is not happy today haha slept last night with the help of alcohol and a good amt of melatonin.. lol oops. least it worked. body hurts so bad haha buuuut its PC day, gunna make it into a cardio day too Quote Anything is possible for him who believes. (Mark 9:23)"The wise man sees in the misfortune of others what he should avoid." -Marcus AureliusCurrent challengeMy TrainingSTR-10 DEX-6 STA-9 CON-4 WIS-16.5 CHA-5 Link to comment
llsoszynski@gmail.com Posted April 8, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 8, 2014 welp its been a minute since i posted round up-been fighting hardcore depression but working through it with help of people that noticedbeen still working outhad training last weekend so i drank a bitwent thru a few days of not eating and just drinking but i'm getting over ithave Jake's funeral tomorrow so i'm kind of freaking out eating a big old plate of shrimp and veggies snatch day today up to 120 solid! went to the doc about my heart, at the third appt i finally got some answers and he told me it was most likely pleuritis, just an infection of the sack that holds the heart, and it probably filled with liquid which makes it hurt and hard to breath. happy that its not an extreme heart issue and i just need to let it fight itself off Quote Anything is possible for him who believes. (Mark 9:23)"The wise man sees in the misfortune of others what he should avoid." -Marcus AureliusCurrent challengeMy TrainingSTR-10 DEX-6 STA-9 CON-4 WIS-16.5 CHA-5 Link to comment
Stronkey Kong Posted April 8, 2014 Report Share Posted April 8, 2014 Glad to see you post. I was getting worried. Also glad to see you got some answers on your heart problem. I think my mom had that several years ago. You should be fine. Are you gonna do the next challenge? Quote ===================================================================================================== --Stronkey Kong-- Link to comment
llsoszynski@gmail.com Posted April 27, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 27, 2014 Woo! and I'm back! Just had 2+ weeks of steady army shyte, worked a range clearance and the boston marathon as EOD support so that was cool. Finally catching my breath now. Our meals were catered, but we did have access (most nights) to a gym on base, so I worked out a few times when time allowed, and ate well when I could. I went two weeks straight of absolutely no drinking, and last week I drank three nights, and now I'm working towards no drinking, PALEO diet from tomorrow (monday the 28) to may 10th at a minimum. I have drill and a police test on the 10th, hence why the deadline. Did a quick session at the gym today Bench up to 105 x3 x5OHP 65lbs 5x5BB row 95lbs 5x5 3 rounds15 pushups30 situps done now eating brocoli and chicken because I'm ready to be healthy again finally. Quote Anything is possible for him who believes. (Mark 9:23)"The wise man sees in the misfortune of others what he should avoid." -Marcus AureliusCurrent challengeMy TrainingSTR-10 DEX-6 STA-9 CON-4 WIS-16.5 CHA-5 Link to comment
matty_mcfly Posted April 27, 2014 Report Share Posted April 27, 2014 Happy to see you coming through the other side of everything. Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk Quote "I can. I will. I must." 3rd Challenge - The One Where I Pretend To Be a Strongman; Spoiler 2nd Challenge - The One Where I Pretend To Be a Triathlete; 1st Challenge - The One Where I Move North of Vag; My Daily Battle Log Link to comment
Stronkey Kong Posted April 27, 2014 Report Share Posted April 27, 2014 Woo! and I'm back! Just had 2+ weeks of steady army shyte, worked a range clearance and the boston marathon as EOD support so that was cool. Finally catching my breath now. Our meals were catered, but we did have access (most nights) to a gym on base, so I worked out a few times when time allowed, and ate well when I could. I went two weeks straight of absolutely no drinking, and last week I drank three nights, and now I'm working towards no drinking, PALEO diet from tomorrow (monday the 28) to may 10th at a minimum. I have drill and a police test on the 10th, hence why the deadline. Did a quick session at the gym today Bench up to 105 x3 x5OHP 65lbs 5x5BB row 95lbs 5x5 3 rounds15 pushups30 situps done now eating brocoli and chicken because I'm ready to be healthy again finally. Hey! Welcome back! Two weeks without a drink... that's still pretty damn good even if you had three drinking nights the following week. (Two weeks is about my limit) Quote ===================================================================================================== --Stronkey Kong-- Link to comment
llsoszynski@gmail.com Posted April 27, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 27, 2014 I was so proud of myself!! My team leader decided to do it with me, so having him with me when we all went out and him ordering soda definitely made it alot easier for me Now to do it again! 1 Quote Anything is possible for him who believes. (Mark 9:23)"The wise man sees in the misfortune of others what he should avoid." -Marcus AureliusCurrent challengeMy TrainingSTR-10 DEX-6 STA-9 CON-4 WIS-16.5 CHA-5 Link to comment
Stronkey Kong Posted April 27, 2014 Report Share Posted April 27, 2014 Yeah. Having at least one sober person to remind you that the whole world has not gone intolerably insane helps a lot. Quote ===================================================================================================== --Stronkey Kong-- Link to comment
llsoszynski@gmail.com Posted April 29, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 29, 2014 lol it most defnitely does. unfortunately we both have to go back to our real lives and i no longer have his companionship along this tough journey, so its all on me own. yesterday was supposed to be day 1 of everything, but depression and anxiety beat my ass instead. I still ate well, save for the bow of goldfish for dinner, and I had a small drink of whiskey and energy drink to try to enhance some focus on my finals that are due today (oops) but it didn't help. I didn't work out either. I was running around getting xrays of my heart and having docs say "just take ibprofen... oh youre taking 2000mgs a day? stop taking that much even though its not working!" oh okay doc, whatever you say. ecocardiogram on monday. god i can't wait for it to stop killing. despite my chest pain i went to the gym cause i figured sanity and pain is better than pain and insanity. legs day (ouch)1.7 mile run back squat95 5x3115 5x3135 5x3 3 rounds40lb ea hand standing lunge x1012lb t-pushup leg press 135lbs x5 x5 3 rounds10 x incline bench situp10 trx pushups done took it easy cause of my heart infection now cooking up chicken, and eating a bowl of eggs and broccoli mmmmmmm maybe i can do some school too Quote Anything is possible for him who believes. (Mark 9:23)"The wise man sees in the misfortune of others what he should avoid." -Marcus AureliusCurrent challengeMy TrainingSTR-10 DEX-6 STA-9 CON-4 WIS-16.5 CHA-5 Link to comment
Stronkey Kong Posted April 29, 2014 Report Share Posted April 29, 2014 Sucks your sober buddy is gone. If you're trying to avoid it and want to talk you can message me. I'll be trying to have more sober evenings myself. 2000 mg doesnt' work! Ouch! Is it okay to exercise even... damn. In my opinion, the whiskey is healthier than the energy drink. Quote ===================================================================================================== --Stronkey Kong-- Link to comment
llsoszynski@gmail.com Posted April 30, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 30, 2014 Haha, yeah, it doesnt work, but take less!! Doc, you are a genius. I'll def send you a message more often than usual, though, thanks for the offer! And yes, I agree the whiskey was prolly more healthy than the energy drink, buuuut mental-wise, the energy drink was probably healthier. I wonder why I have these mental battles. So yesterday wasn't bad. I ate clean up until the nighttime where I was having wicked anxiety and just wanted to go drink more than anything else. So in my mad attempt to not drink I took some melatonin and anxiety meds around 7, and by 730 I was passed out.. not my intention, but it worked, and I didn't drink! Today I woke up at 830..... sooooooo i got alot of sleep (finally!!) and Immediately after waking up I went to work.. as in, calling all sorts of people, getting all sorts of stuff crossed off my to-do list, and I'm still going and its almost 1! That's got to be a new record. I hope yesterday was the hump I needed to get over in order to get my shit together cause I've been an absolute mess. I dont know about gym yet today, legs are super sore and I have one more essay to write before I can call this term over. Off to get that done! 1 Quote Anything is possible for him who believes. (Mark 9:23)"The wise man sees in the misfortune of others what he should avoid." -Marcus AureliusCurrent challengeMy TrainingSTR-10 DEX-6 STA-9 CON-4 WIS-16.5 CHA-5 Link to comment
Stronkey Kong Posted May 1, 2014 Report Share Posted May 1, 2014 On one of my last visits, I told my doctor I started smoking e-cigs. He started talking about the cancer risk. I told him nicotine is not a known carcinogen. He said, "I'll look this up." Gets on the internet. Is it pubmed... Nih?... Mayo clinic?... Some actual medical reference? Nope... That's right... Wikipedia... He looked at wikipedia to confirm what I remembered from high school health class. This message was generated by a room full of monkeys typing randomly--as you can see, they are far from producing Shakespeare. Quote ===================================================================================================== --Stronkey Kong-- Link to comment
Stronkey Kong Posted May 6, 2014 Report Share Posted May 6, 2014 Hmm... Too busy with finals to work out? Quote ===================================================================================================== --Stronkey Kong-- Link to comment
Stronkey Kong Posted May 28, 2014 Report Share Posted May 28, 2014 Poke... This message was generated by a room full of monkeys typing randomly--as you can see, they are far from producing Shakespeare. Quote ===================================================================================================== --Stronkey Kong-- Link to comment
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