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Creating Rituals (JMitch)


Jett

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I love when stories give you scenes from different points of view.  It really helps engross you more in the story - especially in a case like this, where the witch seems awful from Jym's point of view, but once you get in her head the witch turns into more of a grey character.

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Level: 4 - Backhand Specialist Halfling Adventurer


Stats:     STR: 3.5    DEX: 3    STA: 4    CON: 10    WIS: 8.5    CHA: 5.5


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Jym was standing somewhere familiar. She couldn't have said where, exactly, but it was comfortable here. That was strange, in fact, because she'd never really felt comfortable anywhere in her waking life. Ah, that was it. She must be dreaming.

 

A flicker of light, off in the distance, drew her eye. It was coming toward her, a line of fire on the ground. It got close enough that she could see it was something actually made of fire - a snake? - that burned continually without burning itself out. Fascinated, she tried to get closer to it, but whenever she took a step forward, the snake moved that distance away. It seemed to be trying to communicate with her, but she could barely hear it, and could not understand its words. Finally, it gave up and went away.

 

A little confused by that experience, Jym wandered through her mindscape. Most of it looked like the tunnels of the Underdark near her home. She found herself in a maze-like passage, and continued until she came to a dead end. When she turned around, the tunnel behind her had disappeared, too, leaving her in a small hollow in the earth. Panicking slightly, she felt the walls, looking for a way out. Her hand touched a portion of the rock that moved, then resolved into a face. With a gasp of alarm, she jumped back. The rock-face spoke to her, but like the fire snake, she couldn't understand what it was saying. It seemed to get annoyed, and a faint purple mist began to pour from its mouth. Jym's head filled with buzzing, and her vision distorted. Faerzress! The untamed magic that came from the rocks themselves! How she hated it.

 

Jym covered her ears with her hands, but the buzzing was inside her head and could not be blocked. She felt tears start to roll down her cheeks, but before she could go into a full on panic attack, somebody grabbed her by the shoulder and pulled he up through the rock. Now she was standing on the mountainside where she had first exited the Underdark, with a beautiful starry sky above her. She felt comfortable again - in dreams, her agoraphobia did not exist. Standing with his hand on her shoulder was a male drow. He looked vaguely familiar; in fact, he felt like someone she had known for a long time. That was impossible, however, as she had never been allowed near male drow. His must be the face of a guard she had glimpsed in the halls.

 

"Who are you?" she asked, hearing a touch of the automatic hauteur that female drow use when dealing with males. She hated that she'd spoken that way. So many bad habits, learned from her family...

 

"I am Ith'zelee of house Hune," he said, polite but not subservient. The name surprised her a little.

 

"House Hune? Then you are of my house. Why do you not kneel before your princess?" Shit, there it was again. How could she turn off years of ingrained habit?!

 

Ith'zelee smiled, amused and not at all intimidated. "That hardly seems like the way to speak your ancestor, little princess. Didn't your mother teach you any manners?"

 

Jym was confused, and not sure how to react. No male spoke that casually of a female drow, especially not one of his own house. A male ancestor was not honored, or even remembered in the house records unless he had been of great service to the house. But... maybe it hadn't always been that way. Just how old was Ith'zelee? Could he be from a time when males held higher status in drow society?

 

She opened her mouth to ask him, but a dark shadow blotted out the stars above them, distracting them both. Before either drow could react, a shark loomed over Jym and dove down on her, biting her on the back.

 

---

 

Alright, that catches Jym up to where I am now. It's the end of week 2, and I need to do some evaluation.

 

Last week, I got really thrown off by the rapidfire phone interview days, which ultimately didn't profit me at all, but that's how it goes. Week 2, though, I didn't have any any such disruptions. Despite that, I failed to keep most of my "daily" habits. The break room at work got a fresh pile of snack foods, so I was snacking like crazy all week. My morning and evening rituals were hardly followed at all, and certainly not at the times they should be. I'm making better progress on the discrete goals, the wardrobe, website, and ancestry. But those are things that I could do any time - getting good habits into place is more important.

 

The evening ritual is actually fairly solid, other than that I'm not always starting it when I should. My habits of avoiding bright lights and screens after 9:00 and doing something in dim light until I'm sleepy seem to be finally established from the last challenge. My dear husband kindly bought me an "adult coloring book" of mandalas to color; unfortunately, they're all very intricate! I have been having trouble with working on them for only a reasonable amount of time. Once I start one, I feel compelled to finish it, but they seem to take an average of 3 hours! I'm trying to limit myself to only using 1 color per night, or maybe I just need to straight up time myself and put it away after 30 minutes.

 

The morning ritual may need to be altered - or, more accurately, I need to establish it in stages. Morning showers are still a little uneven. Some mornings I take them, other mornings I decide to sleep in instead, resulting in an evening shower that throws off the cycle. Everything else about the morning ritual has pretty much been ignored, so far.

 

For Week 3, my goals will look like this:

 

Morning Ritual:

1) Wake up at 7:00 am (no snoozing).

2) Take a cold shower.

 
I can either have breakfast before I go to work, or one mid-afternoon snack. Not both!
 
Evening Ritual:
1) No bright screens after 9:00pm
2) Make tomorrow's lunch and set out outfit before getting ready for bed.
3) Get ready for bed by 9:30.
4) At 9:30, do a quiety activity in dim light, such as a sudoku, a coloring mandala, etc.
5) Around 9:50, meditate until sleepy/mind is quiet. Then try to fall asleep by 10:00 (hopefully!)
 
My focus will be on doing the evening ritual in order and on time, and waking up on time without snoozing. If I can do well with that, maybe I can start adding in some more of the morning ritual next week.
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It was only week 2 of the challenge, so it's completely understandable that you haven't completed all your goals yet. It's great that you've put so much thought into your rituals and are working towards establishing them. 

 

It's cool that you got an adult coloring book (I've been thinking of getting one for helping me with stress). I can definitely understand how much time it can take up--once you begin, you get drawn in (no pun intended, haha) and want satisfaction by finishing it. Another idea is to listen to music or to an audio book and stop drawing when the song or chapter ends. 

 

Good luck on week 3 :)

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"Don't trade what you want most of all for what you want in the moment." 

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Maybe you could make some mini-mandlas, or find a simpler coloring book.  One color a night or setting a time-limit is good.

 

And it takes time to establish a habit.  I think it averages 21 days for most people, twice as long for people with ADD.  Stepping into the foundation of the habit and adding more later should help.

I have conditions that affect my social awareness.  If I am rude, tell me what I could do better.

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I work best if I have all my next day rituals planned out the night before. I make my lunch, organize I work bag, know what clothes I'm going to wear etc... If I DON'T do this, I find I'm laying in bed thinking about what I have to do when I get up.

 

I never really thought of it as a ritual before reading your issues, I just do what I have to do in order to make it easier to fall asleep peacefully.

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I like that you're streamlining your goals based on how the challenge is going. Also I think timing yourself for coloring is probably a good idea!

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Ugh, need to vent.

 

Had the usual conference call this morning with my boss-type guy (the hierarchy is a bit complicated, but he's the guy who signs the check and tells me what he wants done, so he's my boss in all ways that count). As far as I know, I'm supposed to be wrapping up work on one last item that's nearly done, and then researching how to accomplish their next project, so that I can leave my notes for whoever will be taking my place. A nice, easy wrap-up for when I leave at the end of the month. But on the call, he starts talking about some new functionality that has been suggested/requested by his new boss (they just did a lot of department restructuring). From what he's describing, it sounds like a pretty major project. And then, the kicker: He's like, "Oh, I have these $50,000 that I need to use by the end of the year, because that budget is getting cut next year. So I was thinking, we can have Jennifer stay to the end of her original contract, and then maybe train up a new guy? I wasn't going to use the 50k because I didn't know what new projects would need to be done, but now blah blah blah."

 

I was just sitting there, thinking, 'You cut my contract abruptly short because you said you had no funding, but you were just sitting on 50k the whole time?!' That's plenty to see me through the next two months. If you didn't want me to continue my work, that's fine, but you can't drop me and then pick me up again a week later because you suddenly realized I might be useful. I'm not just a tool to be put down and picked up when it's useful. This job is how I pay my bills. I don't appreciate it being yanked out from under me on a whim. So, no, I won't stay until the end of my original contract. I had no say in the original modifcation, but I tried to take it with good humor. You have no funding? That's something you probably should have planned for, but oh well, what can you do? But it turns out that was just a shitty excuse. You obviously don't care about me. So why should I care if you're left without a competent developer right when you decide you want to impress your new boss? As soon as I get hired by someone else, I'm outta here, and you getting stuck up shit creek is not my problem.

 

Whew. All the things I wanted to say to my boss, but couldn't! :tongue: I feel a bit better now.

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Woooow that's shitty! Did he really think that treating you like that was okay? Ugh!

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STR: 15 | DEX: 8 | STA: 12 | CON: 11 | WIS: 14 | CHA: 12
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Jenn that is some major bullshittery on your bosses' part and I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. He's got a lot of nerve to ask you to stay till the end of your original contract AND train your replacement. What a dick move. 

 

I'm glad you vented here! You are a person of great value and he has NO RIGHT to treat you (or really anyone) that way. 

 

Hugs!

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level 21 magic cat druid, doodlie for life

sucking at something is the first step to being sort of good at something

past challenges: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 Current

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Wow, that was totally clueless and rotten of him! You just reminded of the other reason I work for myself. As tough as it is sometimes, I never have to listen to that kind of B.S.

 

Unfortunately, boss-types get away with attitudes like that because so many people are so desperate for work. I would love to live in a world where we all had the ability to walk out when treated like that with a blithe, "You know what? Given that attitude, I'm out of here right now! I am no one's tool."

 

 I am glad you vented and I hope your next gig is fabulous in every way!

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All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity:

but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible.

~T. E. Lawrence

 

When we contemplate the whole globe as one great dewdrop, striped and dotted with continents and islands,

flying through space with other stars all singing and shining together as one, the whole universe appears as an infinite storm of beauty. 
~John Muir

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I was just sitting there, thinking, 'You cut my contract abruptly short because you said you had no funding, but you were just sitting on 50k the whole time?!' That's plenty to see me through the next two months. If you didn't want me to continue my work, that's fine, but you can't drop me and then pick me up again a week later because you suddenly realized I might be useful. I'm not just a tool to be put down and picked up when it's useful. This job is how I pay my bills. I don't appreciate it being yanked out from under me on a whim. So, no, I won't stay until the end of my original contract. I had no say in the original modifcation, but I tried to take it with good humor. You have no funding? That's something you probably should have planned for, but oh well, what can you do? But it turns out that was just a shitty excuse. You obviously don't care about me. So why should I care if you're left without a competent developer right when you decide you want to impress your new boss? As soon as I get hired by someone else, I'm outta here, and you getting stuck up shit creek is not my problem.

 

 

 

This is so very wrong Jenn, this person had no right to treat you this way (as you know). Now that you've vented and cooled down for a minute, is it worth voicing these concerns to somebody in the company? An HR person? I'm curious if this is the first time this person has done this?

 

Not suggesting a course of action, you need to do what's best for yourself.

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Race: Halfling     Class: Rebel

 

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Thanks for your comments, guys. I knew it felt super shady, but it wasn't until after I posted and you replied that I decided it really was something that shouldn't stand. As I've mentioned before, I work as a contracter for a tech staffing agency - the bank has a contract with them, and I have a contract with them, and they do the interfacing. I've not had any personal issues with the bank until now, but the staffing agency is supposed to act as an HR buffer layer. So, I emailed my recruiter with the agency and told her about what he said. I don't know if they can or will do anything, but at least I'm not just lying there and taking it. :P

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Thanks for your comments, guys. I knew it felt super shady, but it wasn't until after I posted and you replied that I decided it really was something that shouldn't stand. As I've mentioned before, I work as a contracter for a tech staffing agency - the bank has a contract with them, and I have a contract with them, and they do the interfacing. I've not had any personal issues with the bank until now, but the staffing agency is supposed to act as an HR buffer layer. So, I emailed my recruiter with the agency and told her about what he said. I don't know if they can or will do anything, but at least I'm not just lying there and taking it. :tongue:

 

"Slow clap, slow clap, slow clap, slow clap, slow clap" 

 

That should make getting to sleep easier tonight!

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Race: Halfling     Class: Rebel

 

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Catching up!  Loving the story of Jym, including Baba's point of view!  Intriguing and oo I love how things are tying into the ancestry tree as well :D.

 

I will also echo others here- WOW!  What an ass your boss is!  That's not a very great way to treat anybody and I'm glad that you emailed your recruiter about that 'conversation'.  It's awesome that you're not gonna take that crap cause that is crap! 

 

Hope you're sleeping well!  I need to get my ass into bed too :D

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Wow, unbelievable.  You can't waffle on someone's employment after you've already given them notice like that.  Jeez.  Glad to hear you're being assertive and bringing it to your recruiter's attention.

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Level: 4 - Backhand Specialist Halfling Adventurer


Stats:     STR: 3.5    DEX: 3    STA: 4    CON: 10    WIS: 8.5    CHA: 5.5


Challenges and other threds: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4Current | Presea's Recipes


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The recruiter came back with "This kind of thing happens all the time," and "They probably didn't have access to the money until very recently."

 

I know that. I expect that, to a point. But I also think that companies should honor their contracts. I was fine with it when I thought they'd honestly run out of funding, but if the only reason to end the contract early was to save a few thousand dollars out of 50k they had and weren't using, that's just shady. It would be different if I worked for the company regardless, and could be moved around from one project to another. That would be perfectly fine. But if I'm not working on this project... I'm not working. And if I'm not working, I can't buy food or pay my rent. So it's extremely inconsiderate to chop off the end of my contract and then expect me to be on board with extending it out again. Rgh.

 

I'm going to continue looking for a new job, and when I find it, I'm going to give my notice and leave. If that happens by the end of this month, great. Otherwise, I will at least have a few more weeks of work to support me while I continue to look. Instead of letting the company take advantage of me, I will take advantage of them. :P Hah.

 

---

 

Anyway, in actual challenge-related news, I've been doing moderately well so far. I'm not sure if what I did yesterday counts for 'no snacking'. I had a number of various items, like chocolate-covered raisens and fruit, which were my "lunch", but I kind of nibbled on them all afternoon instead of eating them at once. I kept a close eye on the calories, though, and made sure not to eat more than I should. So it feels like cheating, but I guess it counts. :P

 

Morning and evening ritual are still happening later than they should. I guess this week is primarily about a slow schedule shift.

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I know this wasn't the answer you were looking for from the recruiter, back at least it's an answer and you can move on to better things in the future. Better than dwelling upon it.

 

Slow but steady progress with your rituals is better than now progress at all! <g>

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Race: Halfling     Class: Rebel

 

Recruit 1st 2nd 3rd 4th  5th 6th  7th  8th 9th 10th  11th 12th 13th  14th  15th

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Writer's Guild

 

Fictionfirst Used Books (Feel free to like my page!)

 

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I know this wasn't the answer you were looking for from the recruiter, back at least it's an answer and you can move on to better things in the future. Better than dwelling upon it.

 

Slow but steady progress with your rituals is better than now progress at all! <g>

this! You're making progress in-spite of the bullshit you have to deal with and that is amazing!

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level 21 magic cat druid, doodlie for life

sucking at something is the first step to being sort of good at something

past challenges: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 Current

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I've got a code sample to finish tonight, so I'm gonna be up way later than normal. If it impresses (or at least appears adequate to) the hiring manager for Ally Bank, I'll get an interview. This experience is a good thing, 'cause it gives me a chance to show that I know what I'm doing (since my resume is a little sparse on actual front-end development jobs), and it's reminded me how much I really do enjoy this work. Even if all else fails and they don't give me an interview, I can modify the code sample a bit and use it in my portfolio. But, it's good work. I'm pretty certain I will at least get an interview.

 

I've noticed that when I'm in the "zone" for coding, I like to listen to hip hop and k-pop. Tonight, it's G-Dragon's Coup D'Etat:

 

ETA: I didn't do any snacking today! :D Two non-snacking days in a row so far.

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Good for you - whip up that code sample and I hope you get an interview and a job so you can kiss that other one goodbye!

 

Glad that it is reminding you how much you like the dev work, too. That is powerful stuff to know what you really like so you can navigate towards your dreams.

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All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity:

but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible.

~T. E. Lawrence

 

When we contemplate the whole globe as one great dewdrop, striped and dotted with continents and islands,

flying through space with other stars all singing and shining together as one, the whole universe appears as an infinite storm of beauty. 
~John Muir

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I've noticed that when I'm in the "zone" for coding, I like to listen to hip hop and k-pop. Tonight, it's G-Dragon's Coup D'Etat:

 

 

Omg I love this song! That and 'One of a Kind' and 'Heartbreaker'! Do you like kpop generally, or just that specific song/album?

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Lv 1 Wood Elf, 

A New Beginning C1:  A Rough Start, b=But Still a Start

Lv 7 Wood Elf Ranger

STR: 15 | DEX: 8 | STA: 12 | CON: 11 | WIS: 14 | CHA: 12
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Omg I love this song! That and 'One of a Kind' and 'Heartbreaker'! Do you like kpop generally, or just that specific song/album?

I like some kpop. Most of the members of Big Bang have put out some pretty decent stuff, and my favorite kpop band is Block B. I definitely favor the kpop that sounds like hip hop. The ballad-style songs and the really poppy songs are not for me. For this reason, I don't like most female kpop groups. (I also just don't usually like the sound of a female singing voice, for some reason.) An exception is F(x) - but Amber is their rapper, and she's very androgenous, and their main singers have deeper-than-normal voices. I also like some of 2NE1's songs.

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I like some kpop. Most of the members of Big Bang have put out some pretty decent stuff, and my favorite kpop band is Block B. I definitely favor the kpop that sounds like hip hop. The ballad-style songs and the really poppy songs are not for me. For this reason, I don't like most female kpop groups. (I also just don't usually like the sound of a female singing voice, for some reason.) An exception is F(x) - but Amber is their rapper, and she's very androgenous, and their main singers have deeper-than-normal voices. I also like some of 2NE1's songs.

 

Yeah, I'm with you on the female artists. 2NE1 has some good stuff, but that's about it as far as I've found. I haven't heard of Block B before, I'll have to look into them. 

Lv 1 Wood Elf, 

A New Beginning C1:  A Rough Start, b=But Still a Start

Lv 7 Wood Elf Ranger

STR: 15 | DEX: 8 | STA: 12 | CON: 11 | WIS: 14 | CHA: 12
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