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Teros XVII - (Project Pheonix)


Teros

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Don't worry folks, the beard is safe. Just a little manscaping.

I was actually thinking more hair than beard but I could be wrong

Sent from the handheld device that holds all of my friends :)

  • Like 3

RES...and I want to live days worth dying for

Current: RES: CUTE adjusts

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Magickal, Eclectic, Goddess, Level 68

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|My Character Page | Tracking Spreadsheet | My Blog |

Growth happens when you care more about the well being of your future self than the comfort of your present self!

"Pass on what you have learned. Strength, mastery. But weakness, folly, failure also. Yes, failure most of all. The greatest teacher, failure is." -Yoda

 

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Don't worry folks, the beard is safe. Just a little manscaping.

Yes, it's entirely pubes. It's basically an entire lost jungle civilization down there pre-man-scaping.

 

I'll purposely not being taking any selfies (because that was a compulsion of mine, obviously...) for the time being.  At least until the rest of step #4 is done.

 

School:

 

So today is day #1 of school.  I'm equal parts terrified and....excited?  That's a first for me.  Growing up, I hated school with the white-hot passion of a thousand dying suns.  I can't stand the books, the note-taking, the quizzes, the tests, needing a pen, backbreaking backpacks, having to sit still and pay attention, the homework, all of it.

 

Except learning. Learning is f*cking awesome.  I fully embrace the term of NerdFitness.

 

192332_700b.jpg

 

I have a serious problem with authority and people telling me how and what to do.  Rubrics? Syllabuses? Or syllabi? I don't know.  I can't stand any type of situation where I have to follow rules and be constantly judged by them.  Need freedom.

 

 

If on day one of a class, the instructor said, "Hey, this book has the information. Understand it and we'll have a conversation at the end of the term." I would be ecstatic.  Showing comprehension, to me, isn't multiple joke and fill in the goof.  It's the reason why in my history classes in college, I would get 112-116 routinely on tests.  He didn't obsess about dates - he said to treat it like the 'story of the world' and he had us simply write papers in class.  Those extra 12-16 points were all the extra credit being done as well.  People failed that class. I literally couldn't do any better and I barely tried.

 

So with school starting in oh, about 4 hours, I just got home from work and have some more reading to do (PMs will be answered on Thursday once I'm done with my 2nd class.  Sit tight.).  I should, for all intents and purposes, be in a seriously bad place mentally right now. I should be swearing under my breath and sighing over-dramatically.

 

But I'm not.  I'm actually ok right now.   Again, when I kept telling people 'just wait just wait' for the Project and how this would be life-altering; I meant it. I purged it all and my satyr-cave is coming along f*cking fantastically, as you all can see.  I'm going to make an appointment soon for part of step #4.  I have a schedule. I have a plan. I'm executing said plan.  I am a different person now. I'm who I want to be. And that massive burden that has been crushing me for 25+ years is finally gone. It's like having an entire lifetime of having the flu, then one day you're fine.  It's jarring.

 

Sometimes in the middle of the day, I'm just smiling like a doofus.

84413621.jpg
 

 

I get hit with some panick or haz a sad, but I would say that my primary emotion is Happy.  With this looming threat of school, all I can think is, "Well, I'll just get it done.  Whatever." I'm doing the Leo Strut.

 

 

 

Now if you'll excuse me, my chicken is done. Reading and lunch until class.  Love ya'll.

  • Like 9
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I literally lol'ed in my office after the first paragraph, and several coworkers had to check and see if I was okay...

You're awesome and you've got this...:) love ya!

Sent from the handheld device that holds all of my friends :)

  • Like 4

RES...and I want to live days worth dying for

Current: RES: CUTE adjusts

Spoiler

Magickal, Eclectic, Goddess, Level 68

|1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13|14|15|16|17|18|19|20|21|22|23|24|25|26|27|28|29|30|31|32|33|34|35|36|37|38|39|40|41|42|43|44|45|46|47|48|49|50|51|52|53|54|55|56|57|58|59|60|61|62|63|64|65|66|67|68|69|70|71|72|

|My Character Page | Tracking Spreadsheet | My Blog |

Growth happens when you care more about the well being of your future self than the comfort of your present self!

"Pass on what you have learned. Strength, mastery. But weakness, folly, failure also. Yes, failure most of all. The greatest teacher, failure is." -Yoda

 

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I call that a "French Bus" mood - you're in such an inexplicably good mood that if this was a French movie, you'd get hit by a bus. French movies are weird.

Which sounds sinister, but is actually a good thing! Good moods like that need to be advertised to the world! Yaaay!

Post back about how you like the class, the nosy among us (so. . . me) need to know.

  • Like 5
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I hate waiting for pictures.

tumblr_mks7bm9JRV1r93xiko1_500.gif
 
So do I.
 
---
 
Ok, I just got home. Holy balls that took forever.  This class is HBDO, which had a few chapters due, as well as reading the code of ethics. If you want to bore yourself to tears, have a read for yourself:
 
 
I'm fairly proud of myself with how I acted, but I know I can do better. Story time.
 
The class is a bunch of big tables and fold-out chairs strewn about. We move them all and basically make a giant semi-circle. A couple people are sitting sideways and on the 'inner' part of the circle, while most are at the 'outer' part and using the desk.
 
20 women. Me and two other guys.  ....a bit intimidating.
 
I am sitting in the corner piece with my laptop.  The teacher says that we should get to know our classmates so pick three people near you to talk to.  The girl to the left of me is sitting more diagonal so I see her right half and most of her back.  I'll leave her be.  I pull this move:
 
"You, you, and you. You're the three."  I point to a blonde girl across the table (inner circle), one of the 2 other guys, and the shy girl to my immediate right.  They're all cool with it. I just made a group.  There are 4 questions that we're supposed to answer: Name, the pronoun we identify with, our job, and what we do for fun.  Since I basically picked these people, I start.  'Mike. A guy. I work at a shitty grocery store doing nothing important.  I just bought a ps4 which is totally awesome.  You?'
 
First up is shy girl.  She has super thick glasses, like coke-bottle sized. "Amber. She. I wrrrkkk *cant hear*. I love big brother."
 
Is it wrong that my first thought was 1984 and not the weird reality show that I never saw?
 
The guy pipes up. Dan. He. Worked at a bank but it between jobs.  He loves to travel.
 
The blonde girl with the tank top and lots of tattoos is last.  Amanda. She. Works as a bar tender.  She also loves to travel.  I bring up something in step #9 of the Project. -Big Omission-.  Dan and Amanda are interested and start asking questions. I'm talking. TALKING.  We get into a convo. I would like to include shy Amber but she's just sitting there with one arm crossed and the other on her face. You know, very obvious reserved nonverbal cues.
 
Ok, time to now go person by person and introduce ourselves to the class. God, I hate doing this so much. I hate it ihateitihateitihateit!  *phew* You can do this, just be all fucking cool about it. No biggy that you're in a room of 20 giggling girls and you look like someone from Middle Earth.  Gets to be my turn.  I don't even know why I had this attitude, but I start talking with authority.  I point at the screen that has the questions.
 
"ME? *point* Mike. *point* He. *point* I work at a grocery store."  Then I decide that I'll mention more about me spontaneously. I think it was a good idea.  I say, "So I don't have a social work like job or anything, but I did volunteer work at an Alzheimer's center.  I have two pugs and I used them as therapy dogs. Little Franklin is 15 pounds and so he would be the lap dog and I would have the patients pet him. Chuck likes the laser pen and chases it so I would have him do flips and be a goof."  The entire time that I'm saying this, I get a choir of 'AAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"s
 
331814339_awww_answer_2_xlarge.jpeg
 

"And I just got a ps4 so I'll be playing that a bit, ya know, when I'm not getting lots of school stuff done."

 

A few minutes later, blonde Amanda says to our 'group', "So I work at *name I wrote down in my notes* so you should come and see me. Get a drink and stuff."

 

My brain:

not-sure-if2.jpg
 
--
 
Rest of the class is uneventful. We recap the chapters in the book, go over the syllabus, explain the essays that are due and the group project, and read over an article.  Ok, fine, whatever.  The material is dry as hell, however the teacher seems to be ok.  Wants to keep everything casual and doesn't seem snooty.  Down to earth - I need that kind of teacher.  Drags on for 3 hours. There's a fly in the room that wants to kill me. I name him Gary.  I'm debating bringing a fly swatter to school next week.  I....despise Gary...
 
The only other thing to mention is the break in class. Teacher gives us about 10 minutes. I see a bunch of people file out, but not Shy Amber.  She's just sitting there and looking at the book.  I was going to say something but I didn't know what, exactly.  I mean, Big Brother? I know jack shit about that.  I'm thinking that if we stay in the same seats, I'll like to try to get her to talk a little. I'm not, like, interested or anything. I just know how hard it is to be shy and want to say something but never actually do it.  Maybe if I think of some stuff to ask her for next week, it'll be a good thing.
 
I'm home now and I'm starving. I badly wanted to get chicken nuggets for some reason. Late night = nuggets for me.  Resisted and so I'm going to have some chicken.  I did batch cooking for this weekend, but I need to make more variety.  Even one more meal in the mix would be very helpful.  I won't have time tomorrow.
 
I've decided that Step #5 needs a rehaul and deserves higher priority on my action list.  I should launch into this pronto. So many things to do, but I've got it under control.  I'm surprisingly cool, calm, and collected.
 
Also, next challenge is already figured out. The Project was started, but it's ongoing - it's got 10+ steps and will span over a year so I have a solid 5+ challenges of things to do.  I'm not taking this lightly.  All my step # naming will be written out and explained a bit more during the next challenge.  For now, it's a hodgepodge of numbers that I'm throwing around.
 
Ok, starving.  Laundry is started and it's time to eat something and sleep.
  • Like 11
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http://stupideasypaleo.com/2013/08/09/paleo-chick-fil-a/(they're wonderful, trust me!)

 

Speaking of wonderful, so are you...so proud of you!!

 

Don't think my insomnia is bad enough for that link...

 

and

I hate waiting for pictures.

 

^^this^^ goes double for me...  :playful:

  • Like 2

RES...and I want to live days worth dying for

Current: RES: CUTE adjusts

Spoiler

Magickal, Eclectic, Goddess, Level 68

|1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13|14|15|16|17|18|19|20|21|22|23|24|25|26|27|28|29|30|31|32|33|34|35|36|37|38|39|40|41|42|43|44|45|46|47|48|49|50|51|52|53|54|55|56|57|58|59|60|61|62|63|64|65|66|67|68|69|70|71|72|

|My Character Page | Tracking Spreadsheet | My Blog |

Growth happens when you care more about the well being of your future self than the comfort of your present self!

"Pass on what you have learned. Strength, mastery. But weakness, folly, failure also. Yes, failure most of all. The greatest teacher, failure is." -Yoda

 

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Me reading that post:

 

The blonde girl with the tank top and lots of tattoos is last.  Amanda. She. Works as a bar tender.  She also loves to travel.

Sounds..... yummy. You should totally hook up. Maybe go for a drink, if it's not awkward that she'll be working at the time

 

 

A few minutes later, blonde Amanda says to our 'group', "So I work at *name I wrote down in my notes* so you should come and see me. Get a drink and stuff."

 

My brain:

not-sure-if2.jpg

 

Aw_Yeah.png

  • Like 3
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What's your PSN name friend? I must add you.

 

 

 

The blonde girl with the tank top and lots of tattoos is last.  Amanda. She. Works as a bar tender.  She also loves to travel. 

 
...

 

A few minutes later, blonde Amanda says to our 'group', "So I work at *name I wrote down in my notes* so you should come and see me. Get a drink and stuff."

 

My brain:

not-sure-if2.jpg

 

1402679037906101283.jpg

  • Like 3

Level 5 Viking Berserker

Str: 10 | Dex: 10 | Stam: 8 | Con: 15 | Wis: 18 | Cha: 12

Battle Log || Current Challenge Log

 

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Twitter | Xbox Live: ravnos13 | PSN: CrawlingChaos13

Nintendo ID | Steam ID | Battle.net: ravnos#1547

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Ok. If you keep posting more pictures of the Rock, my cover boy, than I will lay off pictures of you.

Sounds like you were really welcomed in your class when you stuck your neck out to be assertive. There are always going to be some people who won't like " assertive you" but remember....be yourself and be,comfortable in your skin. Even though you want to still change things about you, be real with people and then you attract people who like what you like and do what you do. That is what is important at this stage of your journey. Does that make sense?

  • Like 7

Level 36 Ranger Sorcerer 

 

Current challenge 

 

 

 

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Class starts in 5 minutes. God, why are both of my classes in spooky unfinished basements....

Inspiration?

Sent from the handheld device that holds all of my friends :)

  • Like 4

RES...and I want to live days worth dying for

Current: RES: CUTE adjusts

Spoiler

Magickal, Eclectic, Goddess, Level 68

|1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13|14|15|16|17|18|19|20|21|22|23|24|25|26|27|28|29|30|31|32|33|34|35|36|37|38|39|40|41|42|43|44|45|46|47|48|49|50|51|52|53|54|55|56|57|58|59|60|61|62|63|64|65|66|67|68|69|70|71|72|

|My Character Page | Tracking Spreadsheet | My Blog |

Growth happens when you care more about the well being of your future self than the comfort of your present self!

"Pass on what you have learned. Strength, mastery. But weakness, folly, failure also. Yes, failure most of all. The greatest teacher, failure is." -Yoda

 

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*checks imaginary watch*

 

10pm.  I'm home.  Got out of class at 8pm but then I had to kick things up a notch and get ready for step #5.  That apparently took 2 hours.

THpEMUP.gif.gif
 
So I had my other class tonight. The instructor is like the previous one - very laid back and doesn't seem like a tightwad.  In that class, I am the ONLY guy.  I thought that there being 2 guys and about 20 women was somewhat intimidating for my other class. This one is a sea of ladies and a lone yeti.
 
The instructor wants us to go around the room (another giant half-circle setup) and say our name, education, job, social work experience, and if the world was perfect; what would we do instead of be a social worker.
 
I was on the opposite corner so I went last.  Said my name is Mike, bachelor's in psychology, no social work job, but I did volunteer work with my pugs in an alzhiemer's unit.  Same exact response - choir of 'awwwwws'. The woman about 2 seats away from me does dog therapy with people that have mental disorders and depression. She frigging lit up and wanted to talk to me after I said my piece. Lastly, I said if not in the SW career, I would want to be a teacher or write.  There is overlap between me and everyone else. Out of the 20 ladies, 6 wanted to also be teachers and one wanted to be a creative writer.
 
Class was standard fare - went over some basic terms, went through the syllabus, and only when 10 minutes was left of class did he 'start' to 'get to the meat of the class'.  So those 4 chapters that I was freaking the fuck out about reading in time? Yeah.... didn't even matter.  *sigh*  I forget that teachers do this - they assign way way too much and then never bother with half of it. I need to chill the hell out with school instead of thinking that I'm falling behind.
 
I also need to rework my step #3 situation.  After an hour of reading, I turn into a zombie because of how dry this information is.
 
Between both classes, I GET it.  Be aware of biases. Equality. Treat others with respect. Understand what stereotypes are and don't judge people on them. Scientific method for testing research.  Yadda yadda.  Both classes have promised that we will get into 'serious stuff' that might offend, challenge people's worldviews, and make people extremely upset and create arguments. GOOD. GOOD! Can we maybe skip all the horseshit and skip straight to the heavy topics? I want to debate. I want to have people vehemently defending or fighting something.  I'm itching to get into an argument or 'challenge someone's worldview'.  C'mon c'mon C'MON!  I know what the fuck inductive reasoning is!  At certain parts of the class I was squirming in my seat because I wanted to yell out about a topic that was only grazed upon.
 
The workload, in terms of essays; it reeee-fucking-diculous.  The reading, apparently, barely matters so I shouldn't stress about that.  There's links to supplemental reading on TOP of the chapters every week.  Week 3 has a reflection about a topic so I think I need to stay on top of reading until then.  After that, the essay are about our topics that we choose and our grade stems from that.  I'm guessing I need to cram for a couple weeks and then I can relax a bunch.
 
Ok well, I'm heading to bed after I have some apple juice. Goodnight everyone. Tomorrow I have work but after that I can start getting other things done on my list.  OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooo! Also, a package was delivered yesterday but it needed to be signed for so it's at the post office.  My socket plate came today so it's not that, meaning it's something else....
 
Excited%2BRon%2B.gif
  • Like 8
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Both classes have promised that we will get into 'serious stuff' that might offend, challenge people's worldviews, and make people extremely upset and create arguments. 

 

You had to tell me this?? Now I want to take more classes in a completely unrelated field to what I'm currently in...

  • Like 2

RES...and I want to live days worth dying for

Current: RES: CUTE adjusts

Spoiler

Magickal, Eclectic, Goddess, Level 68

|1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13|14|15|16|17|18|19|20|21|22|23|24|25|26|27|28|29|30|31|32|33|34|35|36|37|38|39|40|41|42|43|44|45|46|47|48|49|50|51|52|53|54|55|56|57|58|59|60|61|62|63|64|65|66|67|68|69|70|71|72|

|My Character Page | Tracking Spreadsheet | My Blog |

Growth happens when you care more about the well being of your future self than the comfort of your present self!

"Pass on what you have learned. Strength, mastery. But weakness, folly, failure also. Yes, failure most of all. The greatest teacher, failure is." -Yoda

 

Link to comment

You had to tell me this?? Now I want to take more classes in a completely unrelated field to what I'm currently in...

:)

 

Sounds like you had a productive day in class. I can't wait for the update though. I am finding myself weirdly obsessed with that mass of pubes in the earlier photo. 

 

Stare longingly at them... lovingly at them.

 

They do have to make sure everyone is on the same level, I think it is important for everone to challenge thier own prejudices before they can begin being able to help people. Cool to hear you ar ready for the next stage though.

 

Yup! Basics. I can't wait to get to what I would consider the 'good' stuff though. :P

 

--

 

So today was relaxing. RELAXING!?  I went to work and I consider today relaxing?  It feels foreign. I kind of want to start a project right now but 7:00pm is a pretty crappy time to try and start anything except dinner.  So I'll be eating in a little bit and-

 

Ok, Franklin has to sit on my lap because he's been acting kind of weird. Bobbing his head and not sleeping. It looks like he wants to sleep but can't.

 

Ugh, this is what happens when I can't supervise my dogs all the time.  I swear this won't turn into a rant.  My mom doesn't pay attention to them. Let's them piss and shit all over the house (not where I am - I've decided since rebuilding the satyr-cave to lock all my doors from now on because I'm sick of coming home to the trashcan bathed in a puddle of urine...) and get into whatever mischief two dogs living in in a hoarder's household can get into.  She's not like.... newpapers stacked up to the ceilings or anything, but she does have an entire room filled with cardboard boxes that are filled with.... more cardboard boxes and papers.  There's random furniture strewn about and boxes of food lying in the middle of the living room.  Over the years, I've tried to salvage some of this and even help her. I went item by item with her. "Look, you have a sweatshirt from 25 years ago that doesn't fit and you think is an ugly color. Can we fucking PLEASE donate it?"  It's in a heap in the corner of a side room right now.

 

This might be why the entire purging by fire was such a big deal. To a certain extent, I was like that. I kept way too much stuff and I desperately clung onto it to try and have a few pieces of goodness in my life.  I sorted and salvaged and reduced.  I went from my entire life being in a grand total of: 19 containers to now 3.  Half of one is comprised of Legos. I have my priorities, people...

 

Oh and sidenote: some people messaged me about the wastefulness of burning clothes - a lot of them were donated.  I tried burning a pair of khakis... they uh, are freakish in their burning pattern.  For some of the other things, like papers and selling my comics:

 

tumblr_mcup1sPER91qizglzo2_500-message.g
tumblr_inline_nsahntTXWg1tqxodg_500.gif
 

 

Indeed it does.

 

"So Teros, what's on deck now that your classes this week are over? Only a few days left of the challenge!"

 

Look, get off my back. YOU'RE IMAGINARY!   In all seriousness, tomorrow is my day off and I'm going to be swamped. 

 

Some may have noticed that I answered PMs this evening so the last 6 have been all caught up.  I'm waiting on replying to one because I'm using it as a reminder - they wanted to know when the next challenge started so I'm keeping it tagged as 'new' so I don't forget to let them know in a few days.  There's no letting up with homework so today was my relaxing day, meaning I need to get back into it tomorrow. I'll try to space some reading out, batch cook for the next few days, general cleanup, and probably tackle some of those mini-projects.  The week off from the challenge, I'll get a few more mini projects done, as well and figure out a game plan for contacting all of you lovelies.  I'm trying to balance: workouts, work, school, nf, projects, irl socializing, and de-stressing activities like playing a game or uh.... *secret new thing I'm trying in a few days and am really excited for* *squeeeeee*

 

Ok, time to eat something because my stomach is growling.

  • Like 5
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Stare longingly at them... lovingly at them.

 

Naturally. Anyone who can consider that many pubes to be surplus is a winner in my book. 

 

 

  I went from my entire life being in a grand total of: 19 containers to now 3.  Half of one is comprised of Legos. I have my priorities, people...

 

 

I think you're my favourite.

  • Like 3

It's the hyperman set

Profile picture credit : NF's resident super artist - NinjaKitten

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You leave me no choice

You're so wrong for that...LOL

  • Like 3

RES...and I want to live days worth dying for

Current: RES: CUTE adjusts

Spoiler

Magickal, Eclectic, Goddess, Level 68

|1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13|14|15|16|17|18|19|20|21|22|23|24|25|26|27|28|29|30|31|32|33|34|35|36|37|38|39|40|41|42|43|44|45|46|47|48|49|50|51|52|53|54|55|56|57|58|59|60|61|62|63|64|65|66|67|68|69|70|71|72|

|My Character Page | Tracking Spreadsheet | My Blog |

Growth happens when you care more about the well being of your future self than the comfort of your present self!

"Pass on what you have learned. Strength, mastery. But weakness, folly, failure also. Yes, failure most of all. The greatest teacher, failure is." -Yoda

 

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