Teros XVII - (Project Pheonix)

[Teros]

Ughh.... I'm wide awake.

 

So I wake up and my dog, Mr Franklin, is sitting on the bed next to me.  I don't know why the hell he's there because I put him to bed before I went to bed.  I see that the hall light is on and I hear rummaging around.  I make a guess that my mom came downstairs and unlocked the crate for the dogs.  I decide that I'm going to play a prank on her, since she thinks that I'm still asleep. I go into the bedroom closet with Mr. Franklin and I know that she'll eventually look for him. When she comes into the bedroom, I'll jump out of the closet and scare her.

 

I wait inside the closet and then jump out and scream.

 

But I can't scream.  I scream again and again but there's no noise coming out when I do it.  I then feel like I can't scream but I'm whimpering and flailing my arms around.  Then somehow I'm back in my bed and something is hovering over me and I'm trying to yell at the top of my lungs but my body just isn't f*cking responding.  Then I realize I'm still f*cking asleep and I don't know who the hell was in the house.

 

Then I wake up and realize that my waking up and everything I just wrote so far was the dream. Seriously, that was a dream within a dream. I just had f*cking Inception.  So, was I just trying to scream while asleep and I couldn't and that's what woke me up? So was something watching me?

 

I feel groggy as hell right now and all I want is cheeseballs.  It's f*cking 4am right now...

[petefeet]

*grabs you by the collar and slaps you around a bit*

 

Pull yourself together bro! We can wait, you have more important stuff to deal with. You're making leaps of progress in extremely short time. LEAPS! Don't let the NF stuff add to your stress and feeling of "needs to be done"

 

Still love ya tho, despite the slaps. Sorry bout that, but I had to knock out the cobwebs and put some things into perspective

 

What he said buddy.

 

I know I'm late to the party so to speak, but I wanted to offer my congrat's about the Project Phoenix getting underway, I know it's been weighting you down for a while now, good to see it started.

 

I would like to encourage you to keep your options open when it comes to your Father, regret can act like a cancer slowly eating away at you. I'm not saying you should rush right out there and introduce yourself right this minute, but maybe consider writing him a letter a couple months from now introducing yourself. Ok, enough about that.

 

Trying to clean and re-organize after somebody moves out can be very weird, a simple empty spot in a room or dresser can bring back a flood of feelings (I know), I think you making your place into your own so soon is the best idea, time to remodel the batcave! 

[ChristArtist]

I hate it when you try to scream and can't. ..and it's a dream!

You are going to have to come down and help me organize the new house! Between you and jim and my ideas. ...we could whip this house in shape!

Sorry I'm not in rpg this time. ..i miss ya'll, but, I'm doing my own phoenix. ...a rebirth.

Oh. ..hey....i love you!

Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk

[GingaNinja]

Yeah hope making the space your own is a nice experience. I wish I could assist with anything that needs a lick of paint

[Teros]

Fell back to sleep for about an hour.  Took care of the couch this morning.  I'll be dropping the cat off at 5pm tonight.  My sleep is really f*cking me up.  In the past 48 hours, I've gotten a 5 hour nap, and a couple of 1.5 hour naps.  I noticed a few minutes ago that I was having dizzy spells.  It's pretty rare. I think it's because of what's going to happen this weekend.  I'm sick to my stomach and it's not because of eating anything bad.  Hopefully I'll have more when I don't feel like this.

[Terah]

Sleep deprivation can do that to you.

Turn off your computer, telephone or anything else that can distract you and please go to sleep. When you wake up call friends/family/neighbors to help you.

I know the feeling and things can get dangerous, please take care of yourself! 

[Teros]

IT STARTS

 

[Countess D'If]

w00t!!

[GingaNinja]

Double Woot of epic corruption

[ChristArtist]

Triple woot? Can I say that?

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[sassyfrassy]

Reading through this thread was like reading through one of the most epic and thrilling mystery novel. The whole time I needed to know what was going to happen next, when it was going to happen ... slkfjas;lkdjfasl;dkf;sald (keyboard smashing ten times over!)

 

I'm here, so deal with it.

[petefeet]

Reading through this thread was like reading through one of the most epic and thrilling mystery novel. The whole time I needed to know what was going to happen next, when it was going to happen ... slkfjas;lkdjfasl;dkf;sald (keyboard smashing ten times over!)

 

I'm here, so deal with it.

 

The Butler did it... <g>

[RES]

*grabs you by the collar and slaps you around a bit*

 

Pull yourself together bro! We can wait, you have more important stuff to deal with. You're making leaps of progress in extremely short time. LEAPS! Don't let the NF stuff add to your stress and feeling of "needs to be done"

 

Still love ya tho, despite the slaps. Sorry bout that, but I had to knock out the cobwebs and put some things into perspective

Why are you doing my monthly to do list in one day? Lol

What DarK_RaideR said!!

We you will wait as long as it takes!

Yes, what they said

 

I understand that "MUST DO ALL OF IT NOW" feeling that comes over you, and while that is good to start with the momentum and get yourself going in the right direction, take care you don't launch yourself into the sun and burn out with all of it

 

<3 you

Was awesome to meet you

[Teros]

I'll keep this brief because I have to.  Step 1 is almost done and it's exhausting.  There's no real way to go at a slow or even pace, doing what I'm doing.  My brain won't let me sleep, despite my body fighting it the entire time.  This is how I got so far in the Amnesbury spartan race - though my body was begging to quit; my mind wouldn't stop. Well it's in that 'mode' again but this isn't some sort of thing that gets done in a few hours- this has taken days now.  Since my mind won't switch off, I have barely slept, which means when I do work on this again; it's slower than I would like.  I had a second wind. And a third. And a fourth.  I've been doing prepwork for 2 days prior and last night with my latest post; that was the official 'start' of step one. I didn't get to sleep until 11:30 and I woke up at 3:30 am with my brain screaming at me to get more of step 1 done while I had a time frame.  I've been going at it since 3:30 this morning and it's a little after noon. 

 

The reason I'm not writing more is because I physically can't:  With all the stuff I've been doing, my hands have been blackened and the skin feels worn thin from thousands of scrapes.  It would be like using a nail file and just grinding your fingertips for hours.  To give a reference - every finger hurt when I untied my shoe. 

 

My hands and fingers ache and are raw. I'm pretty sure I have the start of a couple callouses on my feet.  I just ate something besides the sausage at 4am - I had some shaved steak with peppers and onions, and some chunky peanut butter and apple juice.  Thank god I was smart enough to do batch cooking before this project started.  That food was amazing.  Mostly the pb - I had chills go up my spine 4 times as I was eating it - like my body was thanking everything that's holy that I was finally taking a break and treating it right.

 

Ok, my hands are stiff and I think my brain is fading which means I might be able to sleep.  I'm getting a lot done just, it's exhausting.

[GingaNinja]

You don't have to slow down you progress, just swtich gear and ease into the changes you are making, don't burn out, you need that energy to fight the other bumps that might try knock you over. Keep steady.

 

Jeeezzz why are you still typing GO TO BED!

[DarK_RaideR]

I understand that "MUST DO ALL OF IT NOW" feeling that comes over you

Welcome to RangerWorld ™

 

This is how I got so far in the Amnesbury spartan race - though my body was begging to quit; my mind wouldn't stop.

One of the words for "Beast" in greek is "Teras". Coincidence?

[ChristArtist]

You are the beast...just not blue!

You will be free to sleep. ...love yourself! We love you!

PS...i hope you are asleep!

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[DarK_RaideR]

Promises are made to be kept. I made a public commitment on one of your past challenge threads, so it only feels fitting to post this here and thank you for being one legendary source of inspiration.

 

AROO!!

[Countess D'If]

Lolz, I went to the last challenge thread and said happy Monday in there. WTF? Good morning!

[Teros]

You don't have to slow down you progress, just swtich gear and ease into the changes you are making, don't burn out, you need that energy to fight the other bumps that might try knock you over. Keep steady.

 

Jeeezzz why are you still typing GO TO BED!

If you knew what I was doing and the time span that I have to get it done, it would make way more sense.  Again, sorry for being vague but this shit should have had the past 3 months to do all these things and instead I have more like 3 weeks.

 

Part of this is establishing a schedule (Step 3 actually) and trust me, I'll calm down then.  Until then, I need to keep moving, whether my body wants it or not.

 

As for going to bed - didn't.  Couldn't.  I instead stayed up a while longer and crashed at a REASONABLE time (10pm) but I woke up at 4am.  That's progress for sleep in my book.  I feel like I'm back to a normal day/night sleep schedule.  So for example tonight I will try to go to bed at around 9:30 and I'm hoping I'll still wake up around 4am-ish.

 

 

 

Promises are made to be kept. I made a public commitment on one of your past challenge threads, so it only feels fitting to post this here and thank you for being one legendary source of inspiration.

 

AROO!!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeVWbczUUZw

 

 

 

You gonna be awesome.  A Super eh?  Considering the weight I was carrying; this might be even in difficulty.

 

 

You are the beast...just not blue!

You will be free to sleep. ...love yourself! We love you!

 

so....

 

Kelsey Grammer

 

 

Lolz, I went to the last challenge thread and said happy Monday in there. WTF? Good morning!

Good morning.

 

 

---

 

So as I just mentioned to LL in the above post (adorable new photo btw); I didn't get to sleep.  I stayed up and I *think* that I'm back to normal-ish in terms of sleeping.  Didn't really have a choice since I had to go to work today.  I got way more done and I've decided to make a change to Step #2 on my grand master plan.  Step #1 is STILL not done and it's frustrating; but it's about...hrm... I guess 85-90% done?  So the big reveal about why I've been so secretive will be explained shortly.  I'm just dealing with a lot of roadblocks. From time of day to weather to people being around - I'm having to wait and then strike as soon as I get an opportunity and then wait more; which means I need to backtrack, which then, paired with crap sleep, means I'm putting in more effort than I should be gettin this shit done.  No matter, come hell or high water; this is happening.  There's a reason that I've been called 'bull-headed' my entire life and being a double Taurus rings true for that (regular and chinese zodiac).

 

Hmmm... so what can I tell you right now?  Well I've been doing a lot of errands.  Today went as follows:

 

-Wake up way too f*cking early at 4am.

-Shower/Get ready for work

-Go to work

-Come home and change clothes

-Go food shopping

-Go to hardware store

-Pick up ex

-Go to library

-Go to J.C.Penny to do a return

-Go to another store to buy something

-Get a lemonaide (for ex)

-Drop off ex

-Found and washed the crockpot

-Put on crockpot:  Currently cooking is a package of pork ribs with 2 thick-chopped onion, minced garlic, some beef stock, and a seasoning blend of 'earthy' herbs.  That will be dinner tomorrow with a head of cauliflower.  Tonight is ground chicken with pearl onions and mushrooms and some broccoli (after I finish this leftover chunky peanutbutter and feel like moving...)

-Did some.... 'decorating' *eh-heheheh*

-Swept

-Washed something

-Took a break and I'm eating some peanut butter and realizing that I've barely eaten anything today so I'll do that.

-After I'll do a load of laundry

-There's one big thing that I wanted to do today but that might have to be put off seeing as how it will take a couple hours and it's already 7pm.  *UGH* This is irritating. 

 

Right now the sensible side of me is saying, 'Dude, you did enough today and the world's not going to end if you put this this off by one day.' 

 

The other side of me is saying:

"

"

 

...ok, as I'm sitting here and writing this, I feel myself crashing.  I think the sensible side is going to win today.  Maybe since my body aches so much I'll write up this week's mini.  Sorry RPG Fanatics - I have half of the story written but it's hard to think.  Hopefully tomorrow when I know I should have some free time. (I f*cking better...)

 

Oh, speaking of body aches: The back of my left leg(directly above my kneecap) feels like it's freezing up.  Like it's super mega ultra tense to the point of pain when I try to stretch it. It doesn't feel like DOMS and I don't know why it would be there and only in 1 leg but I don't know.  I also have a big welt/bruise on my other thigh, a brand new corn on my foot, and a scratch on the inner part of my elbow that goes along lengthwise down my forearm - the direction, length, and red blood all over there makes it look like a failed suicide attempt that was way too high on my arm.  At least my fingers don't have that painful raw feeling anymore.  Progress.  My ex saw all of this today and asked if I was getting into fights with random people.  My mom also accused me of being 'mentally unstable' a couple hours ago.  So, ya know... there's all that.

 

Listening to this during a lot of this Step #1 for the project feels good.

 

[Clarys]

Oh boy, that is a lot!!

Listen to your body, even with wake up in the middle of the night, it is better than wait to crash.

Random soreness can be because of lack of rest, your body is trying to yell at you!

Take care!

[petefeet]

 

So as I just mentioned to LL in the above post (adorable new photo btw); I didn't get to sleep.  I stayed up and I *think* that I'm back to normal-ish in terms of sleeping.  I'm glad to hear this, as a shiftworker I know what going without a normal wake/sleep cycle can do to a body. It ain't pretty.

 

-Did some.... 'decorating' *eh-heheheh*  I'm guessing it's not flowers and kittens? <g>

 

-Washed something  If you wash what you're wearing while you're wearing it, that makes more free time right?

 

   At least my fingers don't have that painful raw feeling anymore.  Progress.  My ex saw all of this today and asked if I was getting into fights with random people.  My mom also accused me of being 'mentally unstable' a couple hours ago.  So, ya know... there's all that.  Ah.. what do they know!

 

I'm not going to say that I'm not a little concerned that you might be burning yourself out buddy, but I TRUST you to know your limits and stay within them.

 

 

 

[DarK_RaideR]

My ex saw all of this today and asked if I was getting into fights with random people.  My mom also accused me of being 'mentally unstable' a couple hours ago.  So, ya know... there's all that.

 

Even in darkest of times, against the grandest of obstacles, you are beasting it like no one has beasted it before. You are as inspirational as it gets

[T2sarahconnor]

But isn't it nice that you don't have someone criticizing everything you are doing? You are doing all this stuff because you want to. Liberating feeling.

[GingaNinja]

It might be muscular imbalance in your leg from your muscles compensating when you injured your ankle. Same thing happened to me and it is quite common.