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tourennatrix

Tourennatrix joins the Knight Sabers

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Not-Quite Training Log
 
So I've been doing some soul-searching these last few days, largely in part to some really awesome stuff that happened on Wednesday, which I'll include here under a spoiler tag because it's some pretty heavy shit (and may be triggering to some folks) that I've been dealing with since... oh about the first week of the last 6WC.  
 
Warning: Wall of text commencing in 3... 2... 1...
 


So back on June 12, there was a shooting at a mall. Not a mass shooting into the crowd or anything, but a rather specific, and extremely public, targeted shooting. I don't like the M word right now. My therapist uses it because that's what it was, but it sounds so much more personal and just... no. I'm not quite to the point where I can use that word without getting a little freaked out. And the reason why this particular shooting was (is) such a big deal? I didn't know either of the people involved, but I was there. I was on the far end of the food court when it happened, but I was there. 
 
I had wrapped up a therapy session (a rare rescheduled-to-Friday session), had milled around the mall for a bit, my friend had just arrived and we were waiting for the line to go down at the ice cream shop in the food court, when the gunshots went off. We weren't sure what had happened at first, it couldn't have been what it sounded like, it was probably just someone dropping their tray of food really loudly and then the deafening silence that follows that sort of awkward (mortifying) life event. But then there were the screams, the scraping of chairs as everyone ducked under tables and surged in our direction- the doors away from the gunshots. 
 
We got the hell out of there. I awkwardly texted my therapist, telling him that there were shots fired at the mall and he shouldn't go if he had been randomly planning on going. It was meant to inform him that I had been there, but in my understandably frazzled state, I left that part out. And then rode the adrenaline high for at least an hour before I felt calm enough to attempt the drive home.
 
I didn't make it 5 minutes before I was bawling too much to drive. I ended up having my husband on speaker phone the whole way back (over an hour of driving). When I finally made it home, I spent the next couple hours trying not to sleep- I sent an email to my family telling them what happened and to not all try to call me freaking out, I sent an email to my therapist, this time actually letting him know that I was there, I read the updating news feed and had a complete meltdown when I saw the victim had died, and more than anything, I just drank a lot of port and cried. 
 
The next evening, my therapist called and we chatted a bit; he convinced me to not go to my family reunion scheduled for Sunday, partly because I didn't feel like being around people, and partly because I didn't want to be alone in a car for 4 hours with only my thoughts to keep me company. We've been talking about this event, in one fashion or another, since then. 
 
In the past month or so, I've been trying to go back to the mall primarily to prove to myself that I could do it without having a complete breakdown right in the middle of the food court. However, it hasn't been much of an option- not because I was so much afraid (though that was a valid concern), but because this place is an hour away from home, there's not enough time to take a trip to the mall on therapy days, and it's freaking gas money to go up to Iowa city an extra trip during the week. There just wasn't time to go. 
 
After my session on August 12, I had the opportunity to go to one of the pilot stores after the main part of the mall had closed... but it wasn't enough. It was that ultra-frustrating almost-but-not-quite, close but no cigar situation and it left me in quite a state. I was so frustrated that I hadn't been able to go into the food court and face it. So this last Wednesday I requested to leave work even earlier than usual, grabbed Husband, and we went to the god damned mall. 
 
And you know what happened? Not a whole heck of a lot. I had a bit of an anxiety spike when we walked past the welcome desk where the shooting happened, there was someone working at the desk talking to a security guard. That didn't remind me of anything in particular... But really, aside from that... it wasn't so bad. I didn't have horrible ptsd flashbacks, I didn't break down crying... it was okay.
 
Shortly after that, I went to my regularly scheduled session, told my therapist of my success, and we spent the next hour talking, yawning, laughing about yawning, and generally learning quite a bit about my inner workings in a short amount of time, and I think I was more comfortable than I had ever been in the 8 months that I've been seeing him. It felt amazing

 
 
 
So anyway, this soul-searching thing. I mean, I've been doing it in one way or another since I started going to therapy in January, but this week I've been looking at what we're calling the "self improvement" part. A part of me that says "If you put your mind to it, you can do anything!" and "I'm going to help you boost your confidence from the outside-in!" This part is a huge motivator for me to come up with awesome goals (like do an awesome bodyweight workout 4x/week on top of running 3x/week, and make 2 of those runs have sprints and 1 of them should be 5k!). However when other "parts" get in the way- parts that worry about what other people think (keeping me from working out at the playground), parts that are just really good at distracting me (You don't need to exercise, you need to finish this book. And start this other book. And browse the internet for hours), and just general fatigue- this self-improving part can have a hard time getting its footing and having its voice heard. 
 
And so while I was super excited that I identified this part and was totally ready to "make friends" with it... since I hadn't done anything earlier in the week, Thursday and Friday were spent reading and pouring thoughts and analyses into my journal. And the fatigue, trying to rear its ugly head once more... this week, I finally had my schedule switched back to start at 10am instead of 8, and that has certainly helped me in waking up rested (even before my alarm), but with this change I've now identified one of the reasons I get so tired: work is just damn noisy. I'm not quite sure what steps I can take to mitigate this, beyond ensuring that I milk my breaks for all they're worth as far from the commotion as possible, but it is definitely something I'd like to brainstorm on. 
 
Funny thing is that through all of this exhaustion and 'losing my footing' over the last few weeks, when my actual workout times have been taking a serious hit, I've only actually missed 1 run. I've skipped sprints and long runs, mostly due to sore legs, wobbly knees, and tender... other parts, but I've made the effort to go out for every scheduled run except for the one time I (thankfully) said "Screw it, I'm sleeping!"
 
I did manage to do at least a short workout this afternoon, and I'm hoping with this new-found excitement I will be able to plunge back in in an almost-as-good-as-week-1 fervor.

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Training Log

 

Let's play a bit of catch-up shall we? 

 

Despite my slightly better outlook on the upcoming week, looking back on this past week is a little tough to digest. I had 3 days where I did absolutely nothing (only one was scheduled to be that way), I only managed my French practice during times when I didn't have a choice, and I manged one whole body weight workout the entire week. However, I did get all 3 of my runs in. 

 

Q1: Hacker Fingers

     Epic fail here. Aside from occasional moments of stretching at work, I have hardly given this quest a second glance. My weights have been sitting on the corner of my desk all lonesome like, and I just haven't done any dedicated stretching or flexibility work. I have a set of baoding balls sitting right next to my computer and I don't use them because when I'm at the computer I "need" both of my hands for typing and navigating purposes. Sigh... I'll get this sorted out one of these days...

 

Q2: Linna's Speed

     This is my crowning glory of the last week. My first run was pretty mediocre, which I can confidently attribute to PMS related symptoms. My second run felt about a million billion times better and included 2 15 minute sprints at the end. My third run was a solid distance run. The weather has been dry enough the last few days that I decided to brave the county park, so I got a few good long stretches of running in (with some longer, strategically placed walks interspersed). I did a pretty good job, crossing 5k at 45:25.

 

Q3: Priss the Tank

     Almost epic fail. I did manage one body weight workout on Saturday. I was planning on pulling off another on Sunday but circumstances happened and I had a bad afternoon, so I mowed the lawn instead. 

 

LQ: Sylia's Creation

      Like I said, I only practiced my french when I couldn't get away from it. We had lunch with the in-laws on Friday and dinner on Sunday, and I mostly sat quietly and tried to keep track of the conversation. Hopefully now that I've gotten through Skin Game and You're Never Weird on the Internet (almost) I can pick up my french bande dessinée again. But there are these Bone books that we borrowed from a friend months ago...

     I did do a little creativity work, though I had almost forgotten about it. On Saturday night Husband and I were playing some Final Fantasy XI with a friend and having many a drink, and when I have many a drink I get two urges: dance and draw. They don't usually mix very well, but we ended up blaring some awesomebad 90s dance music and I made a drawing between smashing creatures in the face.

 

mithrafish.jpg

 

Onward, as they say. Let's see if I can pick up the pace again and finish these last 2 weeks with a bang!

 

**Cumulative Scoring**

Q1: 7 | Q2a: 11 | Q2b: 3 | Q3: 10 | LQa: 4 | LQb: 9

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Training Log

 

Today I came up with a new verb. And then I used that verb like a boss. And because of using that verb, I had some of the most fun I think I've had in quite a while. 

 

Steve calls it the "20 seconds of courage." I call it "Brave little toastering." Seeing it out in print makes me realize that it could be abbreviated to "BLT" but I'm going to resist that. It's "brave little toastering" or "toastering" because that just sounds so much more fun and quirky. Even though "BLT" suggests bacon which is superior to toast. Whatever. It's not BLT.

 

Today I Brave little toastered myself out to the university rec center and joined the capoeira class. On my own. New place, new people, no friends to back me up. Best. Decision. Ever. I got done like 2 hours ago and I'm starting to get sleepy but I'm pretty sure I'm still glowing (and that's not just code for being sweaty as all get out, though there was a lot of that too). We spent about an hour of them running me through the basics, (thankfully with a few breaks because I'm pretty sure my quads grew a couple sizes tonight), they started teaching me a few of the instruments. Because apparently in addition to dance/sparring, we also play instruments and sing. 

 

When I got out to my car after we were done, I proceeded to have about an hour of gigglefits and occasional guffawing sobs. I'm so happy.

Also, the instructor is named Girafa and he was calling the other student "Astronaut." Swear to God.

 

Of course, my quads are going to be so sore when I get up in the morning, and my big toes feel like I ripped giant holes in them, and tomorrow is a scheduled running day. We'll see how this goes...

 

Q3: Priss the Tank

     Because yes.

 

 

**Cumulative Scoring**

Q1: 7 | Q2a: 11 | Q2b: 3 | Q3: 11 | LQa: 4 | LQb: 9

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Training Log

 

Despite how amazingly sore my legs were, (and how raw my poor little toes were), I managed a run on Tuesday morning. And run, I did. I did a pretty solid 3/1 run/walk pattern and was pretty stoked when my pace came in at under 9 min/km. Woot woot and stuff. I also managed to do some (short) upper body work before bed to help balance out the insane amount of legwork done on Monday. 

 

Today was a pleasant rest day, and now I am faced with crazy schedule changes. Next week we'll be trying capoeira on Monday and Wednesday, and therapy on Tuesday. Life just got even busier, and this doesn't even take into consideration my 'seasonal job' (making scarves and hats and gloves for the winter markets) and, y'no, making sure Husband doesn't get neglected in the process. Oh balancing acts...

 

Q2: Linna's Speed

     a: 30 min / 3.43 km

 

Q3: Priss the Tank

     Short upper body work

 

 

**Cumulative Scoring**

Q1: 7 | Q2a: 12 | Q2b: 3 | Q3: 12 | LQa: 4 | LQb: 9

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Training Log

 

Things are definitely looking better. 

 

Thursday started out with another fairly excellent run- 2 of my best running times this week. I don't generally pay too much attention to the pace, since half the time I will pause my run for a quick stop at the park for some inverted rows, which kill my running time, but the Zombies, Run! app calls out the time at each KM mark, and both of these runs averaged at less than 9:00 min/km pace for a solid 3km. Totally excited about this. However, between these 2 awesome runs making my legs a little sore, and switching up my schedule next week (more on this later), my 3rd run for the week is getting skipped. Ah well. On Friday my arms were itching for some work, so I did a bit of core and upper body work to start my day. And then, as my sole form of French practice this week (for shame) I had lunch with the in-laws. Maybe tonight I can convince my brother-in-law to watch a French movie tonight (do they have French movies on Netflix (U.S.) anymore?).

 

Q2: Linna's Speed

     a: 31 min / 3.71 km

 

Q3: Priss the Tank

     CORE day 11 

     Upper body work

 

LQ: Sylia's Creation

     b: Lunch w/ in-laws

 

So in the light of this week's discovery of Capoeira, I have started formulating how the next challenge will be working, and, more urgently, how the last week of this challenge will work. It took some doing, but I think I've figured it out. It is going to make for a lot of activity on M-W-F and a lot of rest on Tues and Thurs, and the weekend is open for whatever sort of activity (or rest) I'm itching to do. I'm hoping that I'll be able to maintain appropriate energy levels so I'll be able to wake up early enough that I'll have time to do some post-run work, such as proper hip strengtheners and/or yoga for flexibility while my muscles are good and warmed up. The run-days can probably be tweaked a bit, but I think I would rather run the morning before Capoeira, rather than the morning after... We'll see how this goes and change as needed. Everything is flexy :)

 

SCHE.png

 

We (finally) got rid of the couch in our living room, so we've liberated the futon that was in my craft room/workshop, and once I get that cleaned up I'll be able to lay down the fatigue mats and have a sizeable workout space in a room that is properly heated and air-conditioned. The only things I'm missing are a bar to do inverted rows, a pull up bar, and my resistance bands. I know what to do about the last 2 (just need to find some dinero), not quite sure what to do about a bar to use for inverted rows... Also the room needs to be cleaned really badly.

 

**Cumulative Scoring**

Q1: 7 | Q2a: 13 | Q2b: 3 | Q3: 13 | LQa: 4 | LQb: 10

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Ah it's so cool you started capoeira!! The best decisions are done on a whim. ;) what are the basics that you've been working on? My knowledge of capoeira is extremely limited but I do know that nicknames are a thing and everyone gets one after some time. I wonder what yours will be. :)

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Ah it's so cool you started capoeira!! The best decisions are done on a whim. ;) what are the basics that you've been working on? My knowledge of capoeira is extremely limited but I do know that nicknames are a thing and everyone gets one after some time. I wonder what yours will be. :)

 

They showed me the ginga (the sidestep movement), then proceeded to do that for a solid hour (ok, like 2 ten minute breaks). Also covered esquiva lateral (side dodge), and negativa to... i think a role? I think remembering what the moves are is going to be harder than remembering how to do them just because I have such a poor memory for names XD particularly with foreign languages I usually need to see and hear the word together to get it to stick, which is why I spent so much time over the weekend trying to find the moves online so I wouldn't feel like a dunce going back today :P

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Training Log

 

Good Gravy. So the gym is not air conditioned. There are a bunch of giant doors that were opened to allow airflow (the place used to be a warehouse) but today and all of this week it's going to be super hot and muggy. Also, the one lonely little fan in the gymnastics area was broken. Capoeira was warm. I admit that I sweat, but I don't generally drip. Girafa and Astronaut drip. I dripped today. I feel like I sweat like 5 lbs off. No I'm not checking, I just ate.

 

Ew.

 

Also I passed my first Capoeira rite of passage. A bit early for that you say? Nonsense! I just ripped a nice thick layer of skin off my big toe. Had to ask for a bandaid to keep it in place. Protip: If it feels like you might be getting a blister, you probably already have a blister, and should maybe change what you're doing. Once I decided I was probably done practicing the various esquivas (twisting your clammy feet on clammy floor when you're already tearing your skin to shreds...) and some meia lua de frente, we decided to do handstand practice, which consisted of doing nice, wimpy kick-ups... which ended with me landing hard on the balls of my feet where my beautiful new blisters were forming. Awesome.

 

So I got home, hobbled around on the outsides of my feet for an hour while I cooked up some protein and showered and went  up and down the stairs 20 times because I kept forgetting things and filling a bucket with hot water and epsom salt and hauling said bucket to the office and now I'm almost done soaking and I'm really glad I decided to do my runs the morning before Capoeira rather than the morning after. I think I will be cleaning my running shoes and wearing them to class on Wednesday. I can't really think of any other way to make it the whole way through class until this first bout passes.

 

We'll see how I feel about all of this when I'm trying to get dressed in the morning, or when driving to work (driving home hurt) but right now I'm pleased as punch to be working through my first wounds of battle.

 

Tomorrow is rest day, and we'll see how my feet feel Wednesday morning when I gear up to run. 

 

Pleased as punch.

 

BGC_13.gif

 

Q2: Linna's Speed

     a: 29 min / 3.48 km - another awesome pace- I might be ready to start working on 4 blocks run/1 block walk once my feet heal up

 

Q3: Priss the Tank

    CAPOEIRA OMGz.

 

**Cumulative Scoring**

Q1: 7 | Q2a: 14 | Q2b: 3 | Q3: 14 | LQa: 4 | LQb: 10

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Training Log

 

*sneaks back in* Ohai... Let's do another recap shall we?

 

Tuesday was a nice rest day. My feet hurt really bad, and I made it a point to not walk quite so much at work, but by the end of the day I was popping ibuprofen like nobody's business. I then had to drive for an hour (used the side of my left foot for the clutch and more toes than the ball on my right foot). Good times, good times.

 

Wednesday I straight-up skipped the run, but was fully intending on going to capoeira in the evening. I'm sure that between games, Girafa would be filling my head with knowledgedumps and we'd maybe spend some time doing music practice. Unfortunately, other life stuff came up and I ended up missing class anyway. Poo :(

 

Thursday morning I ordered shoes. The closest I have to gym shoes are my running shoes, and they're a bit big and clunky for throwing kicks (and built for running rather than twisting on the balls of my feet). I honestly can't remember what else happened on Thursday so I'm just going to assume that I wasn't fully conscious for most of the evening.

 

Friday I decided that sleep was more important than running, even though the extra half hour of sleep didn't really do any good. But I did get my shoes in the mail and spent the evening making sure I liked them. I'm pretty sure I like them (and with how much I tested them last night I'm pretty sure I am required to like them now). I spent about 45 minutes refreshing myself on what Astronaut was trying to teach me on Monday while my feet were falling off. Hint: I'm much better at pivoting when I'm not so concerned about ripping off layers of flesh. 

 

Q3: Priss the Tank

     45 min at-home capoeira training

 

Today and tomorrow are way super duper hot, so I'm not sure if I'll be able to get in one last run before the end of the challenge. Possibly if I wake up obnoxiously early tomorrow. I'm hoping to squeeze in another BWW this weekend as well, because I really need to continue working on my core and upper body to make sure I (first) don't hurt myself when I launch into doing capoeira twice per week and (second) make sure that I progress at a reasonable rate and don't hit a wall too early in my training.

 

I'm also getting excited again to get my next challenge set up. And really curious about how the timing will intersect with my trip to France.

 

**Cumulative Scoring**

Q1: 7 | Q2a: 14 | Q2b: 3 | Q3: 15 | LQa: 4 | LQb: 10

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Training Log

 

Saturday and Sunday proved the weatherman right (which has been pretty rare this season in our area). When I woke up and checked the weather on Sunday morning I saw 71*F and went "oh that's not so bad" and checked it again a couple minutes later after it had updated and it said 79* and went "NOPE".  But that's ok because it meant I could do my run today and be 'on schedule'. Husband and I spent the day refusing to do any adulting (never mind all the dishes I washed just because I had the cleaning bug...) and spent the majority of the day playing Mice and Mystics (which I highly recommend). I did get a pretty compact core workout in, and we braved the sun and heat for a 45 minute (round trip) walk to go get ice cream. We may have burned about 1/8th of the calories we consumes off of those ice creams. Maybe. But hey, It's holiday time, or something. 

 

Q3: Priss the Tank

     Core & Upper body (but mostly core)

 

Challenge wrap-up on the way

 

**Cumulative Scoring**

Q1: 7 | Q2a: 14 | Q2b: 3 | Q3: 16 | LQa: 4 | LQb: 10

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** Final Report **

 

BGC_11.gif

 

So the theme on this challenge seems to be "start strong, and try to not fail at all the things by the end of the challenge. My first week was awesome, but after that things started going down hill. The good news (I guess?) is that the things that I missed the most were not the things that I've been working on in previous challenges. So adding new things to adopt as habits didn't get in the way of my Big Important Things, they just... didn't really get the attention they themselves needed. Which means I pretty much missed a solid month of valuable French practice and I'm going into crochet season terrified of carpel tunnel. DERP.

 

But let's take a minute to look at the wins:

 

For Running, I had 3 weeks where I ran 3/3 days, 2 weeks of 2/3 days, and 1 week of 1/3 days. And the last one had a pretty valid excuse of not wanting to explode my Capoeira blisters. Even during the week where I was a complete emotional wreck I managed to get out of bed and go for runs all 3 days. Sprinting got dropped pretty quickly, but I think for the next challenge I'll be turning the zombie chases on in the Zombies, Run! app, which will integrate sprints (or at least unpredictable speed increases) in the middle of my runs. My default jogging speed is obnoxiously fast, so the zombie chases will be that much worse. Oy.

 

For bodyweight training, I managed 3/4 for every week except the one where I was totally off-kilter. While I never reached a full 4/4, I have to say I did a damn  good job at this. Next challenge will have a little more structure in this area (in that 2 of my workouts should be Capoeira training, and I'll have time for 1 or 2 extra later in the week to focus on core and upper-body strength.

 

Lessons learned from my "less successful" quests: When working on "smaller" goals, try to tie them to other, bigger, habits. This sort-of worked with the sprints at the beginning, but will probably work better with the zombie chases in the middle of the run. Hand/wrist/forearm work will be integrated into a separate, larger, mandatory quest next time around. And I'm not really sure what to do about the French... That... That just takes willpower.

 

On to the scoring!

 

Q1: Nene's Hacker Fingers

A = 2 DEX | 1 CON

Score: 23% : 1 DEX

 

Q2: Linna's Speed & Agility

 

Q2a: A = 3 STA

Score: 77% : 2.25 STA

Q2b: A= 1 DEX

Score: 25% : .25 DEX 

 

Q3: Priss the Tank

 

A = 4  STR

Score: 66% : 2.5 STR

 

LQ: Sylia's Creation

 

LQa: A = 2 CHA

Score: 66% : 1.25 CHA

LQb: A = 2 WIS

Score: 45% : 1 WIS

 

** Bonuses **

 

Nerdiprise weapons & shields:

I only logged 3 PRs, which really I should be proud about, but I didn't really feel like I was contributing much to the mini this time around. I'll still take 1 STR of the 3 offered for participating in the challenge. 

 

BGC_06.gif

 

*** LEVEL UP***

 

**Tourennatrix**

 

Halfling | lvl 4 | Assassin

 

STR: 9.25 | DEX: 4.75 | CON: 2 | STA: 8.75 | WIS: 6.75 | CHA: 7.75

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