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I like how your stove being broken is actually helping you.  And I think the mini is good timing for you.... but I wouldn't hold your breath for that +100 CHA.  Focus on what you can do this week and get it done.

 

Your meditation experience is interesting.  I would definitely try a different focus if this one made you feel worse.  

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I like how your stove being broken is actually helping you.  And I think the mini is good timing for you.... but I wouldn't hold your breath for that +100 CHA.  Focus on what you can do this week and get it done.

 

Your meditation experience is interesting.  I would definitely try a different focus if this one made you feel worse.  

 

Good news! The oven just got installed today and hopefully we can have an actual dinner. The fatherlord was complaining how no one (that means me and only me) was picking up the torch for cooking for the fam. I was hoping for a home cooked meal tonight, but Maleficent wanted to go eat out again. I forgot to say no this time. It was greek food and I had the gyro plate with a greek salad minus all the pita bread all the meals come with.

 

The only way I would get that +100 CHA would be if I was disowned and kicked out of the house for being a non-cis-hetero atheist  

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baby steps

 

DAY 09 & 10

 

I spoke too soon. I thought I was on a roll. I thought I was eating good. I thought I had things figured out. But I got burnt out too quick. But you gotta take things in baby steps. I know that not eating breakfast is a trigger for me to make bad food choices later in the day. I also know that eating out is a trigger and hazard since it's so difficult to judge potion sizes let alone find something healthy that tastes palatable. Well I made a lot of bad choices today. And now I'm also stuck in an emotional rug. It's just all downhill from here. 

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Exercise

 

I did some yoga today for half an hour. And it felt weird. I didn't want to do it for some reason, I felt out of zen or something, and it just didn't feel right. But I persevered. I focused on the poses and breath and I was done. Maybe if I had started the day off with some meditation and a hot cup of joe things would have turned out differently.

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Eat 

 

I hate eating. Why are bad things so readily available and good things never in sight? 

I was toted around today in regards of eating. I woke up and want to cracker barrel and was about to have a chicken pot pie when the waitress said they ran out, so we had to wait for over half an hour for our food. I made the rash decision to say "I'll have whatever she [mini-me] is having." So lunch was chicken and dumpling, fried okra, and fried apples. Or in layman terms carbs with a microscopic portion of protein, vegetables gone to the dark side, and fruit bakes in sugary sadness. For dinner I was hoping to have a home cooked meal since we just got the new oven to work. But no. We went for greek food. Which was fine since I had a meat plate minus the gargantuan amount of pita bread they throw on the side. I was just bummed at the day I had so I made the mistake of running to the fridge and eating almost half a container of ice cream. Not my best work. My body is not happy about that. 

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Sleep

 

Well I got my eight hour of sleep. Begrudgingly. I laid in bed this morning using my new pillow as a muffler as best I could to drown out the bombardment of sound from the fatherlord. The orchestra that is the fatherlords lack of inside voice, tearing or cardboard and Styrofoam, and moving of heaving machinery went on for a good half hour before I finally got up. 

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Mini

In lu of continuing this weeks mini I googled "bravery is..." the quote that stuck out to me the most is one by Robin Sharma. "bravery is the solution for regret." If you have regrets the solution is to be brave to overcome them. Or in my case wait them out. I regret that I'm still living with my parents and lack the resources to do anything about it. The solution is to be brave and continue job hunting and screw anything that Maleficent has to say about it since it is physically impossible for her to day anything positive. I regret that I'm stuck with a worthless degree and dealing with campus staff that couldn't care less. i'd have to be brave in demanding a new adviser and patience in dealing with the financial aid and the empty monotonous responses of not wanting to deal with the system or lift a hand to show any resources that can help. I'm regret that I'm still being friends with this one guy since everyone else knows we both like each other and he's to shy to ask out anyone. I don't think I'm in a proper emotional or stable (living) state to even consider popping the question of a date, but I'll be brave and ask once I'm done dealing with everything else. 

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It must be difficult in your living situation but I think you're coping as best you can. Do you have any idea when you might be able to get out of there? Anyone you could room with?

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You definitely had a rough day.  But that day is over.  You also have the bravery to make better choices today and keep trying everyday because you'll achieve everything you want with enough bravery and perseverance.   And you did manage to avoid all the pita bread so that's one win for the day.  

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It must be difficult in your living situation but I think you're coping as best you can. Do you have any idea when you might be able to get out of there? Anyone you could room with?

 

There are a few friends who have offered but I still need a job just for food and gas. I don't want to be a financial burden on them since most of them have their own jobs to worry about as well as paying for their rent, electricity, water, food, gas, and tuition. All I can do for now is keep applying for jobs and scholarships and hope that I find something. I promised myself I'd move out by next summer, but if things get worse I'll do it by spring semester (guess you can call that a late xmas give to me.)

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You definitely had a rough day.  But that day is over.  You also have the bravery to make better choices today and keep trying everyday because you'll achieve everything you want with enough bravery and perseverance.   And you did manage to avoid all the pita bread so that's one win for the day.  

 

Some days are better than others. I had the bravery to say no again today to another family outing. It gave me some time alone at home. That's the best time for me. I've eaten so well today and made my daily protein goal while staying under my carb limit. So that's a plus for me. 

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Things are looking better

 

DAY 11

 

Another day down. I'm glad it was uneventful. it gave me some thinking time. I spent the day at home, and since the fam wanted to get out, I had the place to myself. I used that time alone to finish off my dailies on habit rpg. Being leader of a party is fun and now that they have an app that is more user friendly than both their webpage and previous app, it's easier to get things done. I even got my first weekly email from them giving me my stats on how well I did through out the weak, what I accomplished, and what I could to better. This thing gives a lot of accountability and if your active enough, high level enough, or in a big enough party it's even better with all the bosses you have to face off. I decided to be a rogue since they get the most loot and one of those loots being pet eggs. I really want to hatch and raise every possible type of pet there is available. Right now I got myself a pink cotton candy panda mount with a shadow panda pet. They're so cute together! And I look fierce with my panda duo. 

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EXERCISE

 

More yoga for me today. It went a lot more smoothly. I tried out something called street yoga where you can do the exercises in public without attracting too much attention since they're basic stretches. It was shorter than most sessions but relaxing none the less. I did some self meditation that morning so I was completely zen for the rest of the afternoon. 

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EAT

 

I stayed home for the day which meant more choices to eat. More healthy choices at least. I had oatmeal, greek yogurt, and a cup of coffee to start the day off. Some sirloins for snack. And finally, at long last, a home cooked meal from the oven. We had green enchiladas. While the fatherlord and mini me were away I boiled the chicken for an hour, let it cool for another hour, deboned the entire thing, shredded the meat, and rolled it into the corn tortillas. The fatherlord did help with cooking the tortillas in oil so they were not brittle when rolling. Maleficent said they were the best home enchiladas she's had yet. She then tried retracting her statement after learning that I had done most of the work. I wasn't in the room when she said it and she didn't know I was within earshot when she delivered the compliment. We're most likely gonna boil another chicken tomorrow for king ranch chicken casserole in 'celebration' of Lilith's return from camp. 

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SLEEP

 

Yay. More sleep. I got all the hours in. It could have gone better. I woke up in a panic attack, flailing my limbs around trying to get out of the covers. I scrambled for my phone to check the date only to see that it was not the day of my final. I laid my head back down and listened to my heart still trying to beat its way out of my chest.  

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This will always be my go to image for my sleeping problems

 

MINI

 

So far so good for being brave. I had to say no to the fam again for more foodings and outings since I needed to cram for my final and I didn't want to eat out. 

 

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Good job for turning around that bad day and following it up with a great day.  It looks like you hit all your goals and except for that sleepy panic attack it's all good.  Stressed about your finals?  

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Good job for turning around that bad day and following it up with a great day. It looks like you hit all your goals and except for that sleepy panic attack it's all good. Stressed about your finals?

I am stressed for some reason. I don't know why. Even if I get a twenty on the final I'll still make a B. I wish I had just a panic attack after waking up. Last night I tried falling asleep, but my mind kept racing with dark incoherent thoughts while my heart pounded in my eardrums. I tried focusing on my breadth and relaxing my muscles. If I could describe what it normally feels to relax muscles it would be a soft blue, but all I could see was a sickly yellow bronze color. after over an hour of that I had to put on my sleepy meditation app. I didn't sleep much. When I did wake up it was two hours before my alarm was suppose to go off so I nodded off to uncomfortable dreams about fumbling with my phone and turning off all the alarms until I had to actually do so.

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Hmmm.  Has this happened before?   I wish I had some really good advice for you.  How about a calming activity?  Have you seen those calming coloring books?  Other than that I think you need to find the source of the stress and deal with that.  It doesn't sound like it's actually the finals.  What's going on when you finish school?  Are you ready to start another semester right away?  

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Hmmm.  Has this happened before?   I wish I had some really good advice for you.  How about a calming activity?  Have you seen those calming coloring books?  Other than that I think you need to find the source of the stress and deal with that.  It doesn't sound like it's actually the finals.  What's going on when you finish school?  Are you ready to start another semester right away?  

 

If there was advice for everything, there wouldn't be any problems in the first place. I'll look into those calming coloring books and print out a few pages for myself (and invest in some good coloring pencils.) 

The source of my stress was never my final. I memorized the midterm portion that made up half of the final exam. I was the first to finish, made a passing grade, and an A in the class. 

 

My stress is in my future. 

I never had the fortune of having friends that had the right experience or knowledge about working around the system. 

I never had the fortune of having family that supported others in pursuing their dreams rather than shaming hobbies and interest in attempts to replace them with empty academics. 

I never had the fortune of having the courage go out of my comfort zone and find something I enjoy. 

 

Now I feel stuck in my situation. 

I feel like I'm stuck on a campus where the staff couldn't care less about their students.

I could go to my adviser, but they'd tell me I dug my own hole and am stuck with a meaningless major that will get me nowhere and I might as well suck it up, graduate, and get it over with.

I could go to see a campus counselor and tell them about my stress and possible depression, but I might up with a graduate student who has no degree and only analyzes students for their personal research paper. Said non-counselor graduate will tell you that others have it worse and therefore your issues don't matter and neither does their time with you.

I could talk with the staff at financial aid, but I'd be given misinformation about how my tuition may not be covered and need to fill out lengthy paperwork that has nothing to do about my current situation that would need further paperwork to sort out later because of their negligence.

I could talk to my folks about my situation, but be either ignored or misheard and deal with being a disappointment  in my lack of finding a degree in a timely manner that would  'open doors for well paying occupations' and deal with being an embarrassment for being that student that wastes everyone's time and money pursuing nothing. I mean, they brag to their friends about me. "O, our daughter is going to be an engineer or an accountant." "She's doing great things in college and going to be so successful." "She's gonna have a six figure job and have an amazing house with a guest house in her 10 acre backyard that we can live in when we retire so we can mooch off of her since we've raised her into the perfection she is today."

 

I am not ready to start a new semester. I don't even thing I can with the hold I have right now. I don't think I even want to continue. I'm tired of being mislead by everyone and having to put on airs for everyone else. 

 

I don't know if you mean finishing the summer semester of school or finishing school entirely. I've finished the summer semester already and have to spend the next week scrambling around getting holds removed and enroll in meaningless classes. In terms of finishing completely, I just get a degree and hope I can find any job in this economy. 

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humorous quip

 

DAY 12 & 13 & 14

 

I don't think it's worth the effort to put any content here. And yet, here it is. Maybe I'll throw in some funny gifs so all of this is more comical and relateable to you. Or I'll just go over how the past two days have been. Not much. Barely slept for the final, aced the final, owned the club officer meeting, went home and read/ watched netflix/ ate/ slept/ breathed/ waited for night to approach... the usual. I did sleep in the following day. I spent that day doing things. I spent it at the neighborhood pool, and at a friends house for a ramen party, and at another friends house for a board game party, and writing this mess.  

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EXERCISE

 

I did some yoga yesterday. I don't think that stuff will ever get tiring. There's too many stretches and combinations. Plus it's nice to connect breathing and movements. It's one of the few ways it keeps me centered. I haven't done any meditation. Well I did a five minute mindful guided audio bit, but there were too many external distraction that had me constantly pausing the audio to deal with those issues. I haven't hiked this week. And I doubt I will in this weather. If I don't wake up and get done and hour after sun rise I'll probably die from heat exhaustion since we're breaking heat records for the hottest days of summer in the triple digits for the rest of the week. 

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EAT

 

I started stress eating again. There goes the three pounds I worked off in the previous week. I still took down my breakfast, lunch, and dinner intake on MFP but was too ashamed at my late night binges to even try putting it into the system. So I don't know how well the count show or how many days I went over the limit. 

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SLEEP

 

I got about five hours for my final, still managed to finish first and make an A int he class and go to an officer meeting right after. I slept in the next day but still felt tired, exhausted, groggy, weak, etc. You name it, I feel it. If today's science is so great, why haven't they invented a better alternative than sleeping?

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MINI

 

Being brave. I get it. We need to step out of our comfort zone and do something new. or whatever. I' never in a comfortable zone. If anyone could point me in the direction of where it is that would be a great help. Heck, even writing constantly on this thread and oversharing my issues and problems is out of my comfort zone. I must be oozing with charisma with the rate at which I'm going. 

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Good news, I didn't really put on any weight. I still lost some and I'm the lightest that I've been in months. I've lost four pounds since this challenge. If I start to plateau I'll just go on more hikes. If I can keep this pace up I'll be at my ideal weight by Xmas. Happy Christmas to me.

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You had me at ramen party.  That's a thing?  It sounds amazing.  How does this work?   I once wanted to have a grilled cheese party.  Alton Brown did a thing with one of those cages you use for bingo balls.  He put pieces of paper in one that had types of breads, types of cheese in another, and different flavors jams in a third.  Then in a dramatically random way, meaning it looked random but clearly was a TV show, picked one from each and made a grilled cheese.  I think having a grilled cheese party where everyone brings a different kind of bread, cheese, and jam and then set it up randomly would be amazing.  

 

As for your comfort zone, IMHO, I think your comfort zone sits pretty heavily in the arena where you are honest about who you are and are no longer putting on airs for other people.  I mean, you likely are when you are here but I mean IRL.  If you were able to be truly centered and be honest in your every day life about who you are and what you want then all the other stuff that is actually outside of your comfort zone you could do with strength.  I realize this would not be an easy thing to do.  The younger you are, the harder this is.  That's one of the greatest treasures of growing old (did I say old? I'm not old...) is being more comfortable with yourself and caring less how other people feel about it.  You would likely get some backlash from family.  But you would be strong enough the bear it.  They would eventually get used to the new/real you and come to respect you for it (probably some mean spirited exceptions here but you shouldn't care about those anyway).  The world and adulting still have a lot that sucks - school folk, etc but you could deal with all that without living underneath some shroud.  

 

*steps off soap box*

 

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Good news, I didn't really put on any weight. I still lost some and I'm the lightest that I've been in months. I've lost four pounds since this challenge. If I start to plateau I'll just go on more hikes. If I can keep this pace up I'll be at my ideal weight by Xmas. Happy Christmas to me.

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See?  That wasn't so bad.  

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You had me at ramen party.  That's a thing?  It sounds amazing.  How does this work?   I once wanted to have a grilled cheese party.  Alton Brown did a thing with one of those cages you use for bingo balls.  He put pieces of paper in one that had types of breads, types of cheese in another, and different flavors jams in a third.  Then in a dramatically random way, meaning it looked random but clearly was a TV show, picked one from each and made a grilled cheese.  I think having a grilled cheese party where everyone brings a different kind of bread, cheese, and jam and then set it up randomly would be amazing.  

 

As for your comfort zone, IMHO, I think your comfort zone sits pretty heavily in the arena where you are honest about who you are and are no longer putting on airs for other people.  I mean, you likely are when you are here but I mean IRL.  If you were able to be truly centered and be honest in your every day life about who you are and what you want then all the other stuff that is actually outside of your comfort zone you could do with strength.  I realize this would not be an easy thing to do.  The younger you are, the harder this is.  That's one of the greatest treasures of growing old (did I say old? I'm not old...) is being more comfortable with yourself and caring less how other people feel about it.  You would likely get some backlash from family.  But you would be strong enough the bear it.  They would eventually get used to the new/real you and come to respect you for it (probably some mean spirited exceptions here but you shouldn't care about those anyway).  The world and adulting still have a lot that sucks - school folk, etc but you could deal with all that without living underneath some shroud.  

 

*steps off soap box*

 

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See?  That wasn't so bad.  

 

Ramen parties are fun. Everyone brings some ramen, we cook it all, add some extras like eggs or chives, and dig in. That grilled cheese party sounds fun. Any kind of food party is a good party. 

 

You hit it right on the nail with the comfort zone thing. It kinda sucks being young since others (older family members and their acquaintances) have a higher standard for you or at least want to to achieve one. I'd love to be more comfortable with myself and less about what others think. I get backlash from my stepmom for just stepping out of my room. I've grinned and bared it this long. I can last a little longer. Mini-me and the fatherlord would be in full support of whatever I did/chose to do or be. 

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WEEK 2 RESULTS

 

This week has been interesting. I never know how well I've done until I tally everything up. And since I give a two day leeway for eating and sleeping I've still made those goals. If there weren't those two off days I would have bombed. But all in all it's been okay. 

 

A exercise(4/4)

hiking (1/1)

yoga (3/3)

A eat (5/5)

A sleep (5/5)

? mini (still reading)

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Just another one of those ups and downs, right?

 

DAY 15 & 16

 

Weird. Today feels good. Sorry I've been in a funk for a few days. I was in too close of a proximity from the dementors that are my stepmom and stepsister. The fatherlord will be out of town on Thursday and will be back the next day to work for someone else and work for himself then following day. So I'll have to figure out what to do for those four days so I don't get back into that sad funk.  Seriously, someone remind me to run for the hills. I don't want no more close calls of those 'kiss of death' deals. I'll make up some thing fake schedule that I have school duties or meetings with friends. 

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EXERCISE

 

yay. exercise. I've done it. Yep. I went hiking today, alone, by myself, like a big girl. I woke up early to beat the heat and walked three and a half miles. It was hard at first since the at less then half a mile in there is a steep incline where you have to almost climb to get to the top. My legs felt like they were gonna cramp up after that climb but I kept going forward. I only saw one dude on the hike and he was runnning like a cray cray person while jamming out on his head phones. 

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EAT 

 

Yay. food. I've been keeping track of all that intake. I haven't gone over the past two days **high fives self** and I hope to keep this up. I've been snacking on chips and salsa which is good in moderation. I had made cookies over the weekend and had a few, but had to hide them since diabetic lil Lilith kept eating five at a time. She hasn't voiced her opposition to this yet since I made it look like the fatherlord ate them or put them away. (hehehe)

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SLEEP

 

yay. Sleeping. There weren't any early morning obligations to do so I got to sleep in. I went to bed early last night to wake up early. I had to lay in bed this morning and try to get an extra hour in so I could make the goal. The sunshine likes to wake me up early as is and I wasn't gonna take no solar beam nonsense from the sun. 

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MINI

 

Still reading. And I'm so close to finishing the first book of this challenge. Only eighty more pages to go. Then on to the four other library books I checked out. And then +20 more that I will be buying from the library cellar tomorrow. I;m glad that's a thing. It's a shame for libraries to toss out their old books. The one in my town sells them downtown. Hopefully I'll find one that is on my +600 to read list on goodreads. 

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I finally finished my first book of the challenge! I'm going to continue reading the "Protector of the Small" series by Tamora Pierce. It's been a big goal of mine to finish her entire collection, but one step (or book) at a time.

I've got a lot to do today and the fam plans are cutting into that, but I can manage. I still have to

- do yoga

-drop off/ pick up library books

- wash and hang clothes

-wash bed sheets

-clean room

-vacuum

-clean office(ish) desk

-clean closet

-reorganize bookshelf

-recount how many more steps I've taken towards mordor

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I'm too tired to post my daily biz so I'm gonna regurgitate my day in unfiltered word form instead.

I had a weird dream this morning where I was in an orphanage with mini me and there was this lady headmistress person that refused to let us leave. At some point this nice gentleman distracted her while I grabbed mini me, tossed her into a big ass truck, and we drive away. We got to the highway but it was really dark and the headlights were a little wonky. Eventually the roads got really twisty and turny and loopy and covered in tall grass. At that point the dream started melting into vines and men's and screaming dear and doges.

Mini woke me up with news that the Fatherlord was coming in less than ten for evacuation towards the foodening. I looked like a mess but managed to make it to the mission on time. We had Chinese food with my grandpa (I'll call him Iroh since he's just as cool.)

I got most of my list done today. Turns out mini me misscheduled an exam she had to take downtown so I didn't have any reason to go there and but all the books from the library cellar.

Good news though. The fam had things to do so I took mini me to go shopping instead. We went to a new thrift shop close to the house and I left with some nice goodies. I finished it off with a trip to old navy where I introduced my sis to a friend of mine. I always talk about her to my school friends and they were starting to think she was made up (only the rest of the fam is hehe)

I tried doing some yoga today but couldn't get into it and only made it twenty minutes through the video. I blame the lack of morning meditation as the culprit.

I got to do a bait and switch at the library and get the book I needed to finish the series in reading. I would have read it today but was too busy catching up on NF posts. And boy have those threads gotten weird. I wish I had the skill to talk with the level of vague and weirditude that these other rebels have mastered. It seems to get replies. It's starting to make me think the link to my thread is broken or being filtered so only the lovely lady shello and dashing deftona can see it.

I tried cleaning my room today with what little time I had. I reorganized my bookshelf and now have too much space in it for those would have been downtown book buys. I still want to sell half of the books on my selves anyways. I only wanted to clean the rest of my room since bugs have been getting through the floor because of the heat, drought, and now sudden rains. I had to move my bed away from the wall so no ants decided to investigate it. And I had to kill a beetle with a picture frame I had lying around that I hadn't gotten to hanging up yet.

I'm still managing things with the habit rpg app. The only reason I'm still using it is because I'm party leader and running a bunch of quests and having to deal with messages about how other members have been inactive and their unattended dailies are affecting the group and I'm having to manage it and communicate with everyone without looking like a bad guy and while doing all this I try to get all these cool pet eggs so i can be the animal tamer.

(Ugh I did all this from my phone so everything looks so choppy and non linear. Don't even get me started about misspells. )

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I don't think it's that 'vague weirditude' (as you put it) gets replies, it's more that I have been here two years and you pick up friends being here this long. I get a couple of new people to my threads every challenge but for the most part, it's the same people that follow me each time because we're going through it together and they are my super internet friends. 

 

As for the books, do you have a book swapping site in the US? We have one here and it's great, you register a book to be swapped and someone tells you they want it, you look through their books to see if there is anything you want and you agree to a swap. You pay the postage and so do they, but you get an almost free new book, like a private internet library. Check it out, I've got some great stuff from my swapping site.

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I hope to be here long enough to be known as a veteran, or at least as legendary as you guys. I guess I'm still a little hidden since I got a name change this challenge. I like the ring of "super internet friends." They should be a catch phrase.

I haven't looked for a book swapping site online. I'll have to look into that. I've got a lot of keepsake books but recently accumulated a lot of what looked like good stories based on the ratings of goodreads. I go to goodwill a around town and scan books that look good with the app and it it has above 3.5 stars I get it. It hasn't hurt my wallet since they're fifty cents a pop , but my book shelf sure if feeling it. I'll go find the swapping site and start right away.

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4135497-korra.jpg

I'm getting real tired of your shit, life. 

 

DAY 17 & 18

 

I don't know what to make of today. It started off nice. And it ended completely opposite. I woke up with just my sister. We had breakfast together. Afterward we decided to not be cooped up in the house, so we were gonna head out. As we were pulling out of the drive way Maleficent pulled up. The timing was uncanny. Almost as if she knew we were leaving. After that uncomfortable encounter I took my sis to the grocery store for some goodies. She was going to get a postre, but she got so worked up and nervous just having to deal with Maleficent that she didn't get one. She wasn't hungry for the rest of the day. We came home and I enjoyed some gummi worms and arroz con leche in peace while I caught up with NF posts and youtube videos. I colored one of those "color me calm" pages. I think it took me two hours to do. It looks like a rainbow pinwheel.

I dreaded the time after Maleficent got home. She never has anything postivie to say about my cooking, can't even cook a meal herself (unless you count sandwiches or cereal), and is in a pissing mood with the Fatherlord about wasting money eating out all the time. I made the mistake of leaving my room when everyone was out of theirs. Lilith slapped an apple out of my hand and as a reflex hit her on the arm. I got a scolding from Maleficent for acting like a child. She even threatened to call the police for touching her demon spawn. Last time she did that was when I refused to do her math homework when her spawn was in middle school. I didn't want to have to explain myself to her. She is the one that corrects me for nothing everyday and scolds me for what she assumes I do but her demon spawn does. If I would have opened my mouth I probably would have started crying and I although I had some choice words to tell her, knew to keep my mouth shut since I would have to explain myself to the Fatherlord later when he got back home. If anything like this happens tomorrow I will flip my lid and all cards are on the table. I'd love to tell her that she wouldn't care that if I died tomorrow, she'd only cry at the funeral since she'd be the one who would have to cook all the meals and clean house. That's what she did when I got in a car accident and ended up in the hospital. I doubt her mind has changed about that since it's happened. 

 

EXERCISE 

 

I did some yoga yesterday but wasn't getting in the groove so I stopped a little soon. I didn't feel like doing any exercise today so I didn't. I'm gonna sneak out of the house early in the morning tomorrow and go hiking. It seems to be one of the things I can enjoy and is a great way to get away. 

 

EAT 

 

Still counting those calories. There really hasn't been any consistency in my eating except for breakfast. I had my normal breakfast this morning. Dinner is different. Since the Fatherlord is away, Maleficent has taken it upon herself to make sure there's no fam dinner. Everyone fends for themselves. good thing there are leftovers are in the fridge. It doesn't help that she bought so much processed food for her precious Lilith (and only for her.) No one is allowed to eat any of it but her. Most of the food that is bought for her she hates by the end of the week, so I have to wait until then to swoop in.

 

SLEEP

 

Sleep is good. I'm starting to remember more and more of my dreams. Last night I dreamed I was Korra. I was with Mako and Bolin running around some sort of hotel/ mall. The building was so big and there was so much to do, but I can't remember why we were there, what we were suppose to do, or if we were looking or chasing someone.  

 

MINI

 

I didn't see this weeks mini until today. I'm not a fan of jumping jacks, but I've used them in my workouts in the past challenges. Meh. I'll do some tomorrow. 

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