Blaidd needs something to happen!!

[Blaidd]

I hope it gets better soon.

Thanks.  Feeling much better today.  Still some residual muscle soreness, but otherwise in good shape. Managed most of dinner last night and managed all of my lunch today (which was really leftover dinner with extra salad). And a lot of chocolate.  Hehe.  I shared with my assistant of course, but yeah otherwise way too much

[Sambalina]

Jax sounds like one awesome guy, AB. The way you two are supporting each other is kind of an inspiration.

And yeah! I'm totally keen to share about TESOL. I'm currently on the road to transitioning to coaching full-time, but it's going to take some time. I'm very happy to offer whatever help I can.

On the binge eating front- how's it going? Low self esteem is a definite trigger I've seen (and experienced). Any ideas on what to do?

[Endor]

Sorry to hear about the stomach pains, that's nasty.

 

How was week 3 for you? Are you still struggling or maybe had a few small wins?

[Blaidd]

Jax sounds like one awesome guy, AB. The way you two are supporting each other is kind of an inspiration.

And yeah! I'm totally keen to share about TESOL. I'm currently on the road to transitioning to coaching full-time, but it's going to take some time. I'm very happy to offer whatever help I can.

On the binge eating front- how's it going? Low self esteem is a definite trigger I've seen (and experienced). Any ideas on what to do?

He is fantastic, Sam!!  I found my prince  He has made my life a breeze.  We have our moments (mostly me) when we want to have a go at each other, but even then we do keep reminding each other that we love each other, but need to vent our feelings a little. It's all very healthy.  Makes me realise how many toxic relationships I have been. 

 

Thanks.  The TESOL stuff at the moment is all just brain numbing, lol, but we're working our way towards classroom plans and goodies and my uncle owns a English school in Hong Kong, so he's also offered me a few pointers, but be sure, I will ask.

 

My low self esteem is all in my head.  I need to work on myself, but I've been journaling it and speaking to Jax about it.  He has a slightly hard time understanding why I feel these ways cos as far as he's concerned, I'm great.  I have been speaking to my best friend about it more and more often (without feeling that I am encroaching on her time) and she's offered some great insight.  She has similar problems with her self esteem (although you'd never say that when you meet her) and seeing her perspective on something is really encouraging. 

 

Sorry to hear about the stomach pains, that's nasty.

 

How was week 3 for you? Are you still struggling or maybe had a few small wins?

I'm doing well, thanks for asking.  

 

It's been a lot busy on this side.  I've had my uncle and his family down from HK for the past 2 weeks, so I've been trying to see as much of them as possible (we're only 5 years apart in age so we're more like siblings than uncle and niece - we even lived together for a while when we were both studying). I've also been getting home later than usual (for various reasons) and I need to get to my studies by 8pm otherwise I don't get to bed in good time (or don't get all my studying done, if I do) so reporting back here has been a little hard. BUT I'm doing fantastically!!

[Blaidd]

It's been a busy week.  I saw the doctor on that Friday, he thinks it's gall stones (because I have been able to pinpoint the epicentre of the pain) and they're getting bigger (hence the increasing pain every episode), but I have to phone him immediately if it happens again so that he can refer me for scans etc to confirm.  

 

While I was seeing him I had a chat to him about the binge eating.  I brought it up because I wanted his opinion on whether I should see someone or whether it's something he thinks I can manage without seeing someone. He gave me a a suggested diet (very much low carb, low fat, high protein diet) and just said that I need to increase my output vs input calories.  Nothing restrictive and nothing way out there.  He said I should monitor my calories (sigh, i hate calorie counting) and try to slowly increase my daily activity just to have a deficit of 200kcals. He feels that anything more than that and I might start (psychologically) feeling deprived and it won't work for me - he knows me well.  

 

We've spoken about it a few times now and he has decided that it is no longer a suggestion, he is prescribing an appetite suppressant to help me along. So since Tuesday I have been on Duromine. I have always said no when he has suggested it because I didn't want to go that route but after my complaints of binge eating and the pain from the gall stone, it is no longer a suggestion. It's only a 60 day course and he has made it very clear that it is only being prescribed to let my body readjust and to curb especially the sugar cravings.

 

I must say though, that it has been a great help!  I have only eaten my three main meals, there's no urge to snack (and on the rare occasions that I do feel that way, I have managed to talk myself off that ledge). I haven't had a single sugar craving - NONE! - not even when I have actually had cake and chocolate put down right in front of me. I've also had no related carb flu either.  Not even when the previously managed triggers have presented themselves - I find myself going for a walk and chatting to random staff/neighbours to manage those triggers instead. I just feel a lot more energetic too. 

 

Another thing I have noticed is that I can't eat as much in my normal meals as I was doing so before, so it's actually helping me with portion control.  I'm literally getting to a third of my meal and I'm starting to feel full and by the time I've reached half way through my meal I'm uncomfortably full. It's causing me to eat less at each meal, which is a good thing because I was almost matching Jax in portions and portion control is the one thing, I've been most concerned about.  I'm still figuring out the caloric impact that this is having, but last week I was still forcing myself to eat the bigger portions and was averaging more calories in than calories out, so I think it will make a good impact, but we will see over the next few weeks. I will keep you informed

 

Last thing, I have to go dry.  Although nowhere in the literature mentions that there is a contra-indication with alcohol, my body doesn't like the two together. I had a cocktail on friday and within minutes my world was spinning.  I thought it might be something else (because there isn't a contra-indication) but then I had a small glass of wine at lunch on Sunday and it happened again.  No alcohol for 60 days!!!  That can only help though, lol. 

 

I had an interview today (the first one for this challenge) and they loved me, plus the job sounds perfect.  I mean perfect!!!  I hope they want me as much as I want to be with the company. I was with the recruiters for over 2 hours. Although 45 minutes of that was doing 2 assessments (which I got 88% and 100% for, FYI).  The rest was all just chatting to the recruiters and telling them about myself and chatting about the company and the position. I hope that the auditors (who will conduct 2nd round interviews) will give me a call back.  If I'm successful with that then I meet the MD and go for a psychometric assessment.  And if all that goes well then the job is mine  I'm more than confident that it is mine, because really this job was made for me (or vice versa) because it matches my competencies 100% and there's still room to learn more as well.  I don't even care that the salary is a lot more, I didn't even ask about the salary (they remembered we hadn't discussed a package when I was practically out the door).  I'm going to ask you all to pray to whomever it is you believe in for good vibes and success for this position.  Please send all the positive energy you can spare this way.

 

So I'm doing ok, just really busy and getting here to report back to you fantastic supporters has been a little crazy, but as always it doesn't mean that I'm not doing something to go forward.  It's starting to happen!!

[Blaidd]

PS. I LOVE you folks.  Every time I pop into NF I'm reminded about how many people are on this cruise and when I pop into my thread I'm reminded again how many of you have my back. 

 

 

I hope to be popping in more often this week.  My uncle flies back home on Wednesday (if he gets the passports in time - they've had to come all the way home to renew their passports, otherwise all of them lose their citizenship (despite being natural born citizens).  Stupid new visa laws in SA are a real cock up - yes everything you might have read on the news is true). 

[Endor]

Will be interested to see how the treatment works out. Glad you are feeling more positive about things

 

Good luck for the job! I played some Japanese Ska especially for you

 

[Blaidd]

Will be interested to see how the treatment works out. Glad you are feeling more positive about things

 

Good luck for the job! I played some Japanese Ska especially for you

 

haha, that's awesome thanks

[Blaidd]

Hello everyone.  In the past two days, I have continued to monitor myself. After Monday's interview, I haven't heard anything back from them.  They haven't even called my references yet - i know this because of one of our line manager's is a reference and she says she hasn't been called. I'm a little anxious about that.  Does it mean that they're not interested in me?  I thought I was impressive.  They were talking like they wanted me as much as I wanted to work there. I was super confident about the position.  I guess I was wrong.  And people want to know why I might have self esteem issues re my work, lol.  

 

I haven't binged although the temptation to have the chocolate Jax offered me last night was high, I declined. And the resultant discomfit from overeating has stopped me from even attempting it.  So I've avoided binge eating because of this trigger (trust me it was there).  Of course to take my mind off of it, I decided to begin my application for my degree next year (the application period opened on Monday). That started with mild anxiety about not meeting the minimum requirements for entry (which is based on my matric maths - not even previous studies) as they had changed their application process to an automated one in order to weed out those who they think won't make it or something (they're trying to be more selective than in the past where everyone who applied was giving entry to various courses). So I called up the admissions administrator for the faculty that I want to do my degree through and she pointed me to a calculator on their website that will tell me my score based on my matric results and how they compare to the points needed for admission to my degree.  Turns out the maths that I thought was awful is actually quite high compared to current standards and I am well above admissions requirements.  So all stress for no reason.  Now I just have to hold thumbs that the other automatic indicators won't disadvantage me because of race, gender, age and socio - economic circumstances (they literally ask you where you live, what your household income is, where you studied, what your parents do/did as a living etc).  I kid you not when I say that I am rather disadvantaged being a white female, wanting to get into the university's most applied for program. I do think, though, that being a "mature" student would work in my favour, so we will see. I am waiting for my transcripts to come in from UCT so that I can complete my application and then it's a waiting game. 

 

I've been monitoring my calorie intake and it's a little concerning.  I'm not aiming for 1900cals, but I'm not even reaching 1500 at the moment.  My carbs however are higher than the 90gr I am aiming for and I need to figure that out.  I am able to eat more in the mornings, so I need to try and pack more protein/fat (and calories) in there, but I don't like dairy products so I am trying to figure out a way.  My average breakfast is eggs and toast, peanut butter on toast (soy and linseed, yum) or muesli and joghurt. I could try and add sausage or bacon, but I can't imagine eating bacon with muesli and joghurt, lol.  HELP!!!  does anyone have a suggestion for me. I am not snacking, just because I don't feel like it.  Adding protein to lunch and bringing down carbs isn't too hard and I'm still able to have an average sized meal.  By the time dinner comes, I am barely able to get through a half of an average portion (even harder if it's a protein heavy meal). 

 

So that's where we're at.  Still have an awful taste in my mouth from the meds, i think, and I really wanted a nice glass of red wine this evening.  Maybe I should have it just before bed so that dizziness isn't something I need to worry about

[Jakkals]

Good luck on the application.

 

My cousin spend months battling to be registered because for some very strange reason they refused to register her until she could show them her divorce papers from 20 years ago. In person.

[Gobnait]

For breakfast, you could add the sausage and bacon to the egg days and just write off the yogurt days as dips in the average.  Or you could add protein to your lunch on museli days.

 

One of the good habits I used to have was to save a portion of dinner to have for breakfast.  (When I was cooking more regularly, I could cook a meal in quarters.  Two quarters were for hubby, one was for me immediately, the other was for one of my next day's private meals.)

 

Interviewing is frustrating and dehumanizing, but taking it personally just lets it get inside. 

[Endor]

Do you like Avocado? Avo and Bacon is nice with eggs and toast or even just on this side. My wife uses Avo instead of butter sometimes.

 

Maybe add some extra chopped Macadamias to your Muesli, they're high cals and good fat too.

 

Biltong is pretty high cals as well if you can snack on some during the day.

[Blaidd]

Do you like Avocado? Avo and Bacon is nice with eggs and toast or even just on this side. My wife uses Avo instead of butter sometimes.

 

Maybe add some extra chopped Macadamias to your Muesli, they're high cals and good fat too.

 

Biltong is pretty high cals as well if you can snack on some during the day.

I love avos, but unfortunately they're not awesome at this time of year (hard and not tasty).  Another month, they'll be perfect and I can gorge myself on them.  Problem is that they're pretty high in carbs too. Thanks for the macadamia nuts idea.  It's actually a brilliant idea.  Maybe brazil nuts instead (not that i'm against macadamia, just lower in carbs ). 

 

Good luck on the application.

 

My cousin spend months battling to be registered because for some very strange reason they refused to register her until she could show them her divorce papers from 20 years ago. In person.

Thanks.  And that doesn't sound cool. I hopefully won't struggle that much, although I do have to get an RPL (recognised prior learning) in order to get credits on my course and that could take a while. 

 

 

For breakfast, you could add the sausage and bacon to the egg days and just write off the yogurt days as dips in the average.  Or you could add protein to your lunch on museli days.

 

One of the good habits I used to have was to save a portion of dinner to have for breakfast.  (When I was cooking more regularly, I could cook a meal in quarters.  Two quarters were for hubby, one was for me immediately, the other was for one of my next day's private meals.)

 

Interviewing is frustrating and dehumanizing, but taking it personally just lets it get inside. 

I do something similar, but I have mine for lunch.  I should probably have it for breakfast instead and something lighter for lunch. 

 

Oh I hate interviews

[Blaidd]

I didn't get the job.  Apparently one of my references "contradicted my CV and my interview". I spoke to my references and neither of them had received telephone calls/emails.  So I wonder who on earth they spoke to. But whatever, I can't be worried about that, cos clearly it wasn't the job for me. 

 

I'm really not stressed about the job hunting thing anymore. Jax has decided to postpone his MBA for a year, in order to give us time to save more.  He wants to make sure that he has his fees as well as matching my income for the year. He also needs to time to sort out what is going to happen with his business/clients (whether to sell or hire a paralegal to assist in running the business while he is on sabbatical). It gives me more time to find the perfect job.

 

On that note, I have been working on my triggers and we have two on the list now - Boredom and Self Esteem. Luckily at the moment, I don't have a problem with the triggers because I'm just not hungry and get yucky feelings in my tummy when I eat when I'm not hungry. 

 

Still on 90gr carbs, but more like over 100gr at the moment, but i'm trying to push up my calories and it's slightly pushing up my carbs.  Although if i push up protein and healthy fats then I should be able to bring up calories and keep carbs down. I am averaging less than 1400 calories.  It's not good.  I need to push it up. I managed to push it up from 1100 because I ate just seafood for two meals over the weekend. LOL

 

Anyway keep trucking...

[Luciana Valerosa Culming]

http://nomnompaleo.com/post/91332244628/spicy-tuna-cakes

I recently tried these and was suprised. You can easily store them in the fridge and eat them as snack or breakfast. And they have protein.

Good luck with the job hunt.

[Endor]

I didn't get the job.  Apparently one of my references "contradicted my CV and my interview". I spoke to my references and neither of them had received telephone calls/emails.  So I wonder who on earth they spoke to. But whatever, I can't be worried about that, cos clearly it wasn't the job for me. 

 

I'm really not stressed about the job hunting thing anymore. Jax has decided to postpone his MBA for a year, in order to give us time to save more.  He wants to make sure that he has his fees as well as matching my income for the year. He also needs to time to sort out what is going to happen with his business/clients (whether to sell or hire a paralegal to assist in running the business while he is on sabbatical). It gives me more time to find the perfect job.

 

On that note, I have been working on my triggers and we have two on the list now - Boredom and Self Esteem. Luckily at the moment, I don't have a problem with the triggers because I'm just not hungry and get yucky feelings in my tummy when I eat when I'm not hungry. 

 

Still on 90gr carbs, but more like over 100gr at the moment, but i'm trying to push up my calories and it's slightly pushing up my carbs.  Although if i push up protein and healthy fats then I should be able to bring up calories and keep carbs down. I am averaging less than 1400 calories.  It's not good.  I need to push it up. I managed to push it up from 1100 because I ate just seafood for two meals over the weekend. LOL

 

Anyway keep trucking...

Sorry to hear about the job, these things usually do workout for the best. I worked my ass off through 5 interviews for a previous job and realised it had been a big mistake taking it after 2 days in the role....interviewing is really hard to get right for both parties.  Hmm might be time for a different reference though? Not to be paranoid but could one of them be giving you a poor reference and not telling you the truth? 

 

Perhaps you could eat an extra small meal in there somewhere? I've been baking chicken legs and noming on those when I get hungry....the old boiled eggs can be useful too.

[Blaidd]

Sorry to hear about the job, these things usually do workout for the best. I worked my ass off through 5 interviews for a previous job and realised it had been a big mistake taking it after 2 days in the role....interviewing is really hard to get right for both parties.  Hmm might be time for a different reference though? Not to be paranoid but could one of them be giving you a poor reference and not telling you the truth? 

 

Perhaps you could eat an extra small meal in there somewhere? I've been baking chicken legs and noming on those when I get hungry....the old boiled eggs can be useful too.

Yeah I'm glad it didn't get that far.  That would've been devastating for me.  I'd feel like I sold my soul.  I'm sorry that you had that experience though. 

 

Funny thing is that I'm not really snacking these days.  I just don't feel the need to and it's not like I'm going hungry from the food I am eating (actually I'm full most of the time after i've eaten).  I am just worried about not fueling my body to cover its needs.  The appetite suppressant is really a problem in that way, and that's why I'm trying to push my calories up.  I don't want to be in a situation when I reach the end of my 60 days and I am no longer able to sustain the full feeling on this number of calories, and then the binge eating starts again.  So rather get all of that sorted out now while I'm still on the appetite suppressant and then I won't stumble once I'm done. Maybe I'm just thinking about this wrong?  I like the chicken legs idea though. 

 

I've bought some brazil nuts and some macadamia's and crushed them up in my muesli this morning - nom nom nom, made the muesli 1000000 times better. I love nuts.  This morning I had peanut butter on toast with a cup of tea (which really is fast becoming my favourite breakfast) and had a small container of the cocktail sausages to boost that a little. I was actually thinking I should maybe add a handful of nuts to the PB toast mornings too - upping healthy fats doesn't hurt anyone, least of me. 

 

http://nomnompaleo.com/post/91332244628/spicy-tuna-cakes

I recently tried these and was suprised. You can easily store them in the fridge and eat them as snack or breakfast. And they have protein.

Good luck with the job hunt.

I love tuna and always have tuna in my desk at work.  It's surprisingly good when mixed with boiled egg and a teensy bit of mayo on rye toast. I bought little bitty sausages to nibble on. 

[Kairiel]

must be a good appetite suppressant! 

I hope you do find that sustainable balance for when you finish. 

Macadamias make everything better.

[Blaidd]

must be a good appetite suppressant! 

I hope you do find that sustainable balance for when you finish. 

Macadamias make everything better.

It's ok, i guess. I wasn't really up for it and it took a lot of convincing, but it's working for me at the moment.  It's really helping me set things up for when it's done.  I've already picked up some nifty tricks

 

We have an awesome nuts store, that sells their goodies at wholesale prices (like 75% of the price) and we're heading there this weekend because Jax also wants macadamias

[Luciana Valerosa Culming]

So how was your last week? I hope it still was fine for you and the suppressents don't have any nasty side effects.

[Blaidd]

So how was your last week? I hope it still was fine for you and the suppressents don't have any nasty side effects.

Hey Luciana, the past week has been pretty difficult.  At the end of week 5, a close family friend of Jax (his childhood best friend's mum) passed away from a struggle with cancer and we flew up country to spend time with him and Jax' family.  When I got back I was thrown into a chaos at work (literally everything that cold go wrong went wrong and I spent the week fixing things because of that) and supporting Jax at home too and trying to study in between it all.  I actually cancelled all my plans for this past weekend, so that I could catch up on all the sleep that i've been missing.  It's hard work.  

 

As for the challenge, I wasn't doing too badly.  I didn't achieve all my goals, but I certainly didn't stray from them even when poop was flying in all directions.  I definitely do feel like I have developed some really good habits this year and I am very proud of the progress I have made. 

 

Q1:  I didn't get down to 80gr, I unfortunately stagnated at 90gr.  I am however still less than 100gr, so I'm not too worried about that.  I focused more on making sure I didn't drop below 1700 calories since the shock of the first week average being less than 1200cals and that at times meant bringing in a few more carbs. So I can live with that. 

 

Q2: I've identified a few triggers, worked out a plan for some of them and still need to figure out how to manage the rest.  Just have to keep my head in these situations.  I have almost completely stopped snacking while making dinner (I'm wondering whether this is a by-product of the suppressants though, rather than myself stopping myself). I've been so busy that boredom doesn't register on my radar at the moment, so I need to still work on that one. I"m craving veggies!!  Big Time!  I want veggies, lots and lots of veggies, of any variety. 

 

Q3: Meh this became way less urgent after Jax' decision to postpone his MBA.  It's given me time to consider what the best way forward actually is for me.  I'm studying next year so do I look for something more challenging that will demand more of my time, or do I stay where I am and focus on making it through the difficult year of studying (one of two before I write my Honours Thesis). There are a lot of questions I need to answer for myself here, so it has been pinned to the future-not-right-now board. 

 

Q4: I failed this in my first few weeks, and it was especially bad last week when I didn't have time to cook dinners (and thus lunch was non existent).  I made a few runs to the local salad bar, and fish store (they don't just focus on fish and chips. I was eating things like fish curry, peri-peri fish with butternut and spinach, salmon salads, sticky tuna and noodles).  I ate a lot of fish last week and I don't mind at all

 

So basically I failed this challenge and that means I don't get my stationary bike (or at least I don't think I do), but I didn't fail at life in general and although I failed at meeting my goals, I feel like I accomplished a lot this challenge. So yeah I am happy. I will most likely be joining the Druids again next challenge, because there's a lot of mind health (and introspection) that still needs to happen over the next few months. 

[Blaidd]

In retrospect, what did happen was not what i was expecting

 

Also my spelling might be shocking, but i somehow managed to injure my left wrist - i haven't a clue how or when it happened - and because i've had to strap my thumb to my hand (so that it doesn't move to cause more pain) I'm having a hard time typing. LOL