Chris-Tien Disarms the Self-Destruct Mechanisms

[Chris-Tien Jinn]

I'm an adult child of 1) an alcoholic and 2) a chronic over-eater.  This has left me with no real idea of how to handle stress (and I'm under ALOT of it right now ... see prior threads .....) other than by using alcohol or food as self-soothers.   My upbringing left me with this BIG self-destruct button that is ALWAYS waiting to be pushed when things get rough. 

 

This challenge is going to focus on taking apart that self-destruct mechanism.  Realistically, I won't be able to completely trust that it is gone for good.  But I can at least pack it off again for a while so it is not RIGHT THERE saying, "Push me ... you know you want to....."

 

Cue the Mission Impossible Theme ......

 

 

Goal #1 - DisARM the button!! (+2 STR, +1 STA)

For my daughter's wedding, I'm going to wear a lovely capped sleeve dress.  So, by October 9th, I want to have really nice-looking arms.  I have made some nice progress toward that goal, but I'll keep working it hard for the next two challenges. 

 

Hence .... upper body workout 3 x per week.  Grade by simple counting workouts and divide by 18 for a percentage.  I'll post the workout below as soon as I work it out. 

 

Goal #2 - Lose 3 pound by counting calories (+3 CON)

I have been using LoseIt to count calories and keep protein high.  I'll revisit IIFYM to get a recommendation on number of grams of protein and number of calories per day.  While I hate counting calories, I realize that I don't yet have a good sense of how much I can eat in a day and lose or maintain weight.  And if I'm not counting, I can get into mindless eating in a hurry.

 

Grading ... simple .... one point CON for each pound I lose from 168.2 lbs.

 

Goal #3 - Zazen meditation DAILY (+2 WIS, +1 CON)

As a preventative measure, I'll meditate daily and grade it by counting days divided by 42 for a percentage.  In the past, meditation has been very helpful, and I regret getting out of the habit.  It's worth the 10 to 20 minutes!!!

 

Goal #4 - Use a destressing technique from the list daily (+3 CHA)

In addition to the meditation daily, I'll pick one of the items from the list below - at least daily.  I'll either use my D&D dice or random.org to pick one.  I'm a much nicer and more effective person if I have my stress under control.

 

Grade it by counting days divided by 42 for a percentage.

 

Goal #5 - Remove major stressors and barriers (+3 WIS)

This one is really hard .....

 

There are some things that have badly affected my ability to cope for the past year. 

 

1) We've been trying to find jobs in our home town.  It hasn't worked yet, and we've been living apart, which really stresses me out.   So, we need to buy a house near hubby's work and sell our current house.  These are stressful events in their own right, but I think it is worth it in the long run.  I already have job interviews in the area where we are house hunting .... a big improvement over our current predicament.  

2) I've been having a really hard time with under or unemployment.  I don't do well as a housewife, and so I'm working at finding a professional job.  Got nibbles already and feel much better about myself already!!!!

3) This is really, really, really hard.  We need to put our dog down.  I've been nursing her along for the past year, but she's not comfortable.  And I have to come to grips with that and let her go.  But it will also reduce my stress alot once we get past that point ... this week or next probably.  She's licking all 4 limbs raw, and I can't see keeping her in a cone for the indefinite future. 

 

Grading .... one point per objective complete. 

[Chris-Tien Jinn]

Challenge Summary 8/5/2015

 

Strength workout (1/18)

6%

6%

 

Weight loss (2/3)

66%

66%

 

Zazen (5/42)

12%

12%

 

De-stressors (6/42)

14%

14%

 

Remove major stressors (0/3)

0%

0%

[Chris-Tien Jinn]

A list of self-soothers, stress-busters, and self-care ideas that I will use to replace alcohol, sugar, and binging. I WELCOME suggestions!!!!

 

1. Meditation
2. Color in my coloring book
3. Get a massage (schedule it and then pick ANOTHER tactic for right now)
4. Yoga class
5. Martial arts class/practice
6. Walk in a park
7. Music

8. Read fiction

9. gratitude journal

10. talk to family or friends

[Elastigirl]

Looking forward to your challenge!

[Chris-Tien Jinn]

Ok, getting ready to rock this challenge!!!!

 

I picked up a book on paleo smoothies, ordered a book on basic bento lunches, and sat down and prepped strength workouts that focus on arms. 

 

Workouts .....

 

Gym Day

• Assisted Pull Ups
• Leg Press
• Assisted Dips
• Bench Press
• Shoulder Press (dumbbells)
• Curls (dumbbells)
• Triceps extension (dumbbells)
• Elbow plank

Kettle Bells

• 1 Arm clean
• 2 Arm swing
• 1 Arm swing
• Clean and press
• 1 Arm press
• 1 Arm row

 

Dumbbells Power 18 (Darebee)

• Bicep curls
• Lateral raises
• 10 second hold
• Shoulder press
• Tricep extensions
• Upright rows

 

Legs kinda take care of themselves with my walking (and running) habit.  

[Son of Rylos]

Totally subbed in for support and awesome successes!!

[petefeet]

Following along to help dismantle the self-destruct mechanism!!!

[seth.e.shaw]

It is not our past that defines us; our current choices do. You can overcome! Job hunting, relocation, and losing a pet are all really difficult but it looks like you have a good plan in place! Good luck on the hunt!

[annyshay]

Oh no stress! It is the WORST... Especially the list you are facing. Big boss battle of a button...

BUT... You have a secret! NF rebel back up!!!

We're here for you chica. Also, you plans look excellent. I'm happy to listen about doggie stuff or whatever if you want to vent in a PM. BIG HUGS.

[Swampling]

Sending lots of good thoughts your way! 

 

HUGS! 

[Mrs Van]

I'm an adult child of 1) an alcoholic and 2) a chronic over-eater.  This has left me with no real idea of how to handle stress (and I'm under ALOT of it right now ... see prior threads .....) other than by using alcohol or food as self-soothers.   My upbringing left me with this BIG self-destruct button that is ALWAYS waiting to be pushed when things get rough. 

 

This challenge is going to focus on taking apart that self-destruct mechanism.  Realistically, I won't be able to completely trust that it is gone for good.  But I can at least pack it off again for a while so it is not RIGHT THERE saying, "Push me ... you know you want to....."

 

Cue the Mission Impossible Theme ......

 

 

Goal #1 - DisARM the button!! (+2 STR, +1 STA)

For my daughter's wedding, I'm going to wear a lovely capped sleeve dress.  So, by October 9th, I want to have really nice-looking arms.  I have made some nice progress toward that goal, but I'll keep working it hard for the next two challenges. 

 

Hence .... upper body workout 3 x per week.  Grade by simple counting workouts and divide by 18 for a percentage.  I'll post the workout below as soon as I work it out. 

 

Goal #2 - Lose 3 pound by counting calories (+3 CON)

I have been using LoseIt to count calories and keep protein high.  I'll revisit IIFYM to get a recommendation on number of grams of protein and number of calories per day.  While I hate counting calories, I realize that I don't yet have a good sense of how much I can eat in a day and lose or maintain weight.  And if I'm not counting, I can get into mindless eating in a hurry.

 

Grading ... simple .... one point CON for each pound I lose from 168.2 lbs.

 

Goal #3 - Zazen meditation DAILY (+2 WIS, +1 CON)

As a preventative measure, I'll meditate daily and grade it by counting days divided by 42 for a percentage.  In the past, meditation has been very helpful, and I regret getting out of the habit.  It's worth the 10 to 20 minutes!!!

 

Goal #4 - Use a destressing technique from the list daily (+3 CHA)

In addition to the meditation daily, I'll pick one of the items from the list below - at least daily.  I'll either use my D&D dice or random.org to pick one.  I'm a much nicer and more effective person if I have my stress under control.

 

Grade it by counting days divided by 42 for a percentage.

 

Goal #5 - Remove major stressors and barriers (+3 WIS)

This one is really hard .....

 

There are some things that have badly affected my ability to cope for the past year. 

 

1) We've been trying to find jobs in our home town.  It hasn't worked yet, and we've been living apart, which really stresses me out.   So, we need to buy a house near hubby's work and sell our current house.  These are stressful events in their own right, but I think it is worth it in the long run.  I already have job interviews in the area where we are house hunting .... a big improvement over our current predicament.  

2) I've been having a really hard time with under or unemployment.  I don't do well as a housewife, and so I'm working at finding a professional job.  Got nibbles already and feel much better about myself already!!!!

3) This is really, really, really hard.  We need to put our dog down.  I've been nursing her along for the past year, but she's not comfortable.  And I have to come to grips with that and let her go.  But it will also reduce my stress alot once we get past that point ... this week or next probably.  She's licking all 4 limbs raw, and I can't see keeping her in a cone for the indefinite future. 

 

Grading .... one point per objective complete. 

I so understand where your coming from. Will be right here "alongside" you for this journey.

 

I am so sorry to hear about your dog. We had to say goodbye to our neighbour's oldest dog this weekend. When they got her about 10yrs ago they didn't know anything about raising dogs, their nature, etc. so we showed them, talked to them, taught them how to train them the basic stuff, and every time they were away, we "looked after the house" and the dogs. We are the honourary dog-parents. Our own Labrador is now also 10yrs old and he is struggling a bit with arthritis. It is a lot better since we switched to a raw diet for the dogs, but now during winter he needs a bit of nutmeg in his food every week, and the occasional medicine if it is very bad. My heart goes out to you

[Swampling]

My personal de-stressors (next to chocolate and cookies, which shouldn't really be on that list):

 

- put on my favourite music (and dance - or not - at work I opt for the latter...)

- visit "my" one-horse personal petting zoo (aka Rosie) and just hang with her (which is mostly watching her eat, but better her than me... )

- grab a book, find a comfy spot and get lost in another universe for a bit

- think of more things to put in my gratitude journal

- talk to family or friends

[Asuka]

 

A list of self-soothers, stress-busters, and self-care ideas that I will use to replace alcohol, sugar, and binging. I WELCOME suggestions!!!!

 

1. Meditation
2. Color in my coloring book
3. Get a massage (schedule it and then pick ANOTHER tactic for right now)
4. Yoga class
5. Martial arts class/practice
6. Walk in a park

 

I'm 100% behind you!!!!

 

I'll share with you a couple of things that helped me cope with stress:

- Imagining emotions as colors: when I'm really mad, I imaging my anger being red and calm being blue and I breathe while imagining the red leaving my body and the blue entering, then I make up a bubble around me preventing the red from coming back in. Sounds silly, but it really helped

- Doing foot massages: I've started taking better care of my foot, using some School products to make them all smooth and then massaging my feet. I feel like taking care of myself is helping me refocus and let go of negative energy

- Cooking: especially if there is either some kneading involved (I recently started bread making) or it requires concentration to do follow the recipe - then give the result of the cooking to the neighbors or a friend (I have a friend with whom I exchange food because we are both single and make too much haha)

- Doing balance ball exercises: They look really easy, but THEY ARE NOT!! They require concentration and will strengthen calf muscles / ankle a lot! And the balance ball was not that expensive ($55?)

- Reading a book, especially one written in the first person: I agree with Swampling - it's amazing. I love first person books because I can read out loud and pretend I'm becoming that person and putting all my troubles behind me. I went through a depression period when I was younger and would get lost in teenage fiction just reading "I..."

 

Best of luck! I'll follow your path towards more calm...

[karinajean]

hello dear! your challenge is so well structured, it's amazing. just like you. I'm super sorry about your pup, please let us know what we can do for you - venting, listening, commiserating, etc. <3

[Chris-Tien Jinn]

Keep the ideas coming!!!! 

 

I had a phone interview today for a great job in the town to which we are moving, but they are concerned about the number of moves I've made in the last 10 years.  There's only so much reassurance I can give that THIS TIME I would stay put.  Time to roll the dice for a de-stressor.

 

Daily Review 7/27

Strength workout: Didn't do one
Weight loss: 0.2 lbs lost (LOL!)

Zazen:CHECK

De-stressor: I rolled a "9" - Gratitude "journal" - see below

Remove major stressors: Purchase offer on house #3 made; vet appointment made for Wednesday

[karinajean]

 

I had a phone interview today for a great job in the town to which we are moving, but they are concerned about the number of moves I've made in the last 10 years.  There's only so much reassurance I can give that THIS TIME I would stay put. 

sometimes people ask those questions on an interview to get a better gut feeling for the person, or to gauge how they respond in an awkward or stressful situation. there's only so much you can do and I'm sure you did your best!

[Chris-Tien Jinn]

 

I am grateful that I HAD an interview!!! 

[petefeet]

My personal de-stressors...

 

1. Watch a sad movie. Sometimes I need the release that a sad movie provides if I'm having a hard time processing my own emotions.

 

2. Read a good book. A nice bit of brain candy to get lost in.

 

3. Keep my hands busy. It could be weed the garden, sort books, put together a bird house etc... With my hands busy, I find my mind can churn in the background rather than in the front.

 

4. Go for a walk. I try and really get my heart rate up by going a fast pace, all my energy goes into breathing and "cheering" myself along.

[Asuka]

 

I am grateful that I HAD an interview!!! 

 Two things:

1/ re: the interview and why you changed jobs as often as you did. I did the same, and changed jobs almost every two years. Every time I have a good reason for changing, but most interviewers don't know that. Use it as an advantage: "I changed jobs often because I have yet to find my dream job - I hope the one you offer will be. And through these experiences, I was able to learn a lot about working in different kinds of teams and learn different skill sets". Unless you're a quitter for no reason (and you are NOT! if your challenges are any indication), there is a way to spin this. 

 

2/ Re: disarming-self-destruct mechanism: Like you, I find that having a gratitude journal is helping me remember the good, happy things in my life. So I'm trying to push the mechanism further, but reminding myself of what I am and what I am not. For instance, saying "I am not afraid" before doing something that frightens me, saying "I'm not too fat" before going outside in a nice dress, "I will not eat that piece of chocolate" when I am in need of emotional eating. You already know when you need emotional support - acknowledge it, and remind yourself that YOU ARE STRONG and can resist. 

[Chris-Tien Jinn]

Daily Review 7/28

Strength workout:

Weight loss: Making a point of NOT weighing every day

Zazen: counts double when there is a cat on the lap, right??

De-stressor: Decided to enjoy the quiet, cool morning and walked along my favorite beach.

Remove major stressors: Purchase offer on house #3 made; vet appointment made for Wednesday

[petefeet]

Looks like you have a firm grip on your day, well done. Nothing worse than having a day run away from you and find you didn't get a thing done.

[Mrs Van]

Daily Review 7/28

Strength workout:

Weight loss: Making a point of NOT weighing every day

Zazen: counts double when there is a cat on the lap, right??

De-stressor: Decided to enjoy the quiet, cool morning and walked along my favorite beach.

Remove major stressors: Purchase offer on house #3 made; vet appointment made for Wednesday

Me too on the weighing. It was starting to rule my thoughts, then I put on an old pair of pants that didn't previously fit, and Walla! Scale back in its place for once a week weigh in, but the measurements are more telling.

Yip, cat makes double!

Praying for you for today! My heart and thoughts are with you all the way. Wish I was there to hug you tight!

[Chris-Tien Jinn]

Playing tourist.

Sent via two swallows carrying a message in a coconut.

[Chris-Tien Jinn]

This past week, I was rejected by both colleges in the town to which we are moving.  Whenever they claim that they have "more qualified candidates", I am reminded of this scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark:

 

 

I have a doctorate and 15 years of experience in Academic Technology .... who could be better qualified?????

 

Suffice it to say that it's been a rough week.  Top it off, hubby just couldn't bear to put our dog down.  With a switch in her medication, she is doing better, but it's stressful trying to take care of her while getting ready for the move and working the odd shifts that retail entails.  

 

Challenge Summary 8/5/2015

 

Strength workout (1/18)

6%

6%

 

Weight loss (2/3)

66%

66%

 

Zazen (5/42)

12%

12%

 

De-stressors (6/42)

14%

14%

 

Remove major stressors (0/3)

0%

0%

[petefeet]

I'm sorry that your week has been beyond disappointing and heartbreaking, though I have no doubt that you will overcome these obstacles.