How to deal with Girlfriend's craving?

[MAGICFATSO]

Hi to all. First of all I want to clarify that I am not blaming my fatness on my girlfriend.

 

HOWEVER, even when I try my best to lead a healthy example, we find ourselves in that situation of "let's order ice cream", and she starts acting like a 3 year old, making noises, wining and even barking like a cute dog (which only annoys me) so that I finally cave in and order the damn thing and end up eating half of it (it's my money right?).

 

Some other times I am the weak one and try to get an acomplice to indulge myself.

 

My question is the following: Do you guys/girls ever had this problem? How do you deal with not only controlling your cravings, but also controlling your better halve's??

 

I guess I could just order ice cream for her and not eat it myself, but I will obviously resent her for it.

Maybe I just need to grow up

[bim]

I'd suggest finding a new after-dinner ritual to break the pattern. For example, not ordering dessert there, but taking a walk to a specialty ice cream store. Establish that as the new pattern, then break it again by adding pleasant distractions to the walk. "Look, a playground, I'll push you on the swing for a while!" "Oooh, sprinklers - let's run through them!" "The lake is so peaceful, let's stop here and feed the ducks."

Someone who is child-like enough to bark like a puppy for ice cream should be fairly easy to distract with play.

[SpecialSundae]

I leave space for ice cream whenever I can so that I never have to worry about giving in to cravings, because I'm giving them space to exist within my diet.

 

Even when I was losing weight, I left room for a regular ice cream (usually on training days).

 

I kind of do the same with pastries and cakes etc etc etc. My husband eats most of the pastries before I get the chance, though!

[MAGICFATSO]

Someone who is child-like enough to bark like a puppy for ice cream should be fairly easy to distract with play.

Lol, yea, I wish... It's really hard for me to make her move a lot though, I went from "Let's start 5x5 together", to "lets just do body weight stuff", to "lets just do 1 squat a day", to "let's take a walk". None of them ever happened =/

 

The after dinner walk is great tho, I've done it myself on a couple of ocassions and I felt very good

I'll just have to be strong!

[Artemis]

Going to an ice cream parlor/store might be a good way around this. Then she can choose which ice cream she wants and you can load up a container with just the healthier toppings (fruit, dark chocolate, etch.). Over time you may be able transition to a healthier dessert for both of you.

I did this with my family for a while and it worked well. I wasn't refusing dessert, just adapting it to fit my needs. Over time you may be able transition to a healthier dessert for both of you.

[Raincloak]

sounds to me like your SO is having fun competing against you. And so far she's winning. I think you ought to change the rules of the game.

If it's a matter of ordering ice cream in restaurants, eat out less. Or at least develop a standing rule that you don't eat dessert in restaurants. There's a huge markup on dessert in most places anyway (that and the drinks is where they make their money). You've had the meal, go have dessert at home. When I was a kid, we had a meal out or went out for ice cream, but not both, unless it was somebody's birthday.

or you could order a kid-sized dessert for her, and just have a few bites of it yourself. That way you get a taste without feeling obligated to eat the whole thing. This is one of my mom's favorite tactics she's always secretly hoping someone else orders dessert, but she won't get one for herself. If nobody else gets one, she'll shrug it off, dessert isn't that important anyway. By the way, psych studies show that the first few bites of a food give you the most pleasure you're going to get from it, so the remaining portion can be adjusted to suit your needs.

[Lou186000]

Hi to all. First of all I want to clarify that I am not blaming my fatness on my girlfriend.

 

HOWEVER, even when I try my best to lead a healthy example, we find ourselves in that situation of "let's order ice cream", and she starts acting like a 3 year old, making noises, wining and even barking like a cute dog (which only annoys me) so that I finally cave in and order the damn thing and end up eating half of it (it's my money right?).

 

Some other times I am the weak one and try to get an acomplice to indulge myself.

 

My question is the following: Do you guys/girls ever had this problem? How do you deal with not only controlling your cravings, but also controlling your better halve's??

 

I guess I could just order ice cream for her and not eat it myself, but I will obviously resent her for it.

Maybe I just need to grow up

 

Yeah, that can be a really challenging situation. I deal with this pretty frequently because my wife is not at a point where she's really ready to focus on fitness. My improving habits definitely help the family, but there are indeed times when ice cream comes home from the store. I usually join the family for the treat, but I get out the food scale and weigh my portion and add it to my food tracking log. For me, that level of consciousness about eating the treat helps me control the portion size and prevents me from going overboard. I imagine others might have a different strategy, but that works for me. 

[Jannit]

Absolutely, yes. I have been dealing with a very similar situation over the last year. My ex is an ice cream fiend and wanted to go for ice cream at every opportunity. He would eat it daily if he could (and often does). Ice cream, chocolate, candies, slurpees ... all of it. It was never enough for him to just have a little bit either, he wanted lots and he wanted me to have it with him especially if we were both on a diet of some sort and trying to be "good." He wanted the co-conspirator and would make it very hard to resist. There were absolutely times when I was the one who was looking for him to come have a cookie with me so I wouldn't feel guilty about my craving too. Not as often, but they happened. 

 

I don't blame my current state on him. I'm the one that made the choices and I'm absolutely the one responsible for those choices. That said, sometimes it's a lot easier or harder to make certain choices given the circumstances. 

 

My solution probably isn't going to be helpful but in the end, he and I broke up. There were a lot of issues at play and I'm not saying him doing this in particular was a reason for the breakup but a pattern of him putting his own interests first at my expense definitely contributed to the end result. 

[MAGICFATSO]

Last friday I found an offer and ordered 2 kgs of ice cream. I went heavy on the ice cream that night, but I had a lot left over in mi freezer, and it's so frozen that I'm not really tempted to dig in. When I decide to dig in, I end up having just a couple spoonfulls. I don't want to risk it and say that I found a solution. But it worked fine for this week

[Cherry Poppins]

I leave space for ice cream whenever I can so that I never have to worry about giving in to cravings, because I'm giving them space to exist within my diet.

 

Haha, me too. I stop eating before I'm full of dinner so I have room for dessert. I like to say, 'My dinner tummy is full, but my dessert tummy is empty!'

 

I think Lou's idea is a good one - make sure she knows how it's going to fit into your daily intake, and adjust accordingly. Maybe if she sees the effort you're going to, she won't pester you to join her in eating it (hopefully)!

[RUNR5AZ]

When my SO wants dessert *and* I have willpower (critical variable there), I'll order a latte, cuppacino or espresso.  It gives me something special to indulge in (slowly) while he eats so I don't feel deprived.  Unfortunately if I'm not feeling strong, sometimes I just cave and get dessert too. 

[Stonie]

I also leave room for things like dessert (because my mental willpower is not great) but I have been able to drop my portion sizes and still not feel cheated. You can replace some of the bulk of the ice-cream with some fruit or something healthier (and then you get more variety too!)

 

If you've explained to your partner that you are trying to get healthier and she's still whining and carrying on like a 3 year old... maybe you need to sit her down and explain how it makes you feel when she is throwing a tantrum? I know I would probably feel goaded into it and sabotaged a little... just my two cents, but it may be completely irrelevant to your situation. Sure it's cute, but is it cute enough to sacrifice all your hard-earned gainz?

[MAGICFATSO]

Luckily, since I've been counting calories, there are days in which I have 200-300 kcal left to spare, so I use them to indulge myself with my girlfriend. Somedays I had already reached my daily intake, so it's a simple no can do. I lost like 2 cm's on my waist so far

[Agidyne]

Ah, yeah this is a tough one.  I'm falling into the same problem with my boyfriend.  When I lived on my own, I just never bought the stuff, and when I'd visit him that's when I'd treat myself to some sweets because we'd usually have something after dinner.  But now that I'm living with him he likes to have that kind of stuff in stock.  So after dinner he'll want to have ice cream and it's kinda become a habit for me to bring our dinner or drinks or whatever to him while he's playing his video games, so not only am I now resisting a bowl, I'm making one for him.  

 

At first it was really hard.  So after a few nights of resisting, I'd sometimes take a little spoonful but stop after that one.  I changed my view on the whole situation like how in Steve's blogs he says to think "I don't eat this" instead of "I can't eat this".  It's helped me a lot thinking that way, and also I sometimes I look at it as a game/test and I feel like I won/passed if I resist the temptation - it helps distract me from thinking about how tasty ice cream can be.  Another little hack I do is simply eating my dinner a lot slower so I don't feel like I have room for anything afterwards, and to then also distract myself from dessert by just getting absorbed into something else like a computer game or going upstairs to draw and removing myself from the situation completely.  

 

Now for eating out and not being able to just walk away from the table, I will limit myself to one or two bites, or just ask for a refill of whatever I'm drinking (usually water) and just sip on that to try to keep myself distracted.  If possible I like to have a table outside so I can sit back and enjoy the scenery instead of looking at tasty desserts I'm trying to avoid.

 

Not sure if any of that will be helpful, but it looks like you are working your way through it.  

 

Luckily, since I've been counting calories, there are days in which I have 200-300 kcal left to spare, so I use them to indulge myself with my girlfriend. Somedays I had already reached my daily intake, so it's a simple no can do. I lost like 2 cm's on my waist so far

 

 

Good for you!  If you keep that in mind, the positive thoughts about what you've accomplished will also hopefully help keep the dessert demons at bay

[thunderseed]

Honestly I don't have this problem, because common logic points to the fact that cravings are actually a message from your body telling you that you are missing a nutrient that your body needs.

 

I eat as well balanced as I can so I don't get a lot of cravings, and when I do, I always give my body what it craves and I end up feeling a lot better afterwards, and because of that I am super healthy. If you are having cravings all the time, it probably means you aren't eating properly or aren't eating enough. When you restrict your body of food, you are going to crave food and set yourself up for binges.

 

I once had a craving for peanut butter flavoured ice cream. I ate it because I know my body is perfectly capable of telling me what it needs. But it turns out, my body was really lacking in amino acids and protien and both milk and peanut butter had the nutrients I needed at the time. Besides, it's perfectly fine to treat yourself once in awhile. I'm not a fan of sweets, so when my body does crave something sweet, I know it's because something vital is missing, just the same as when I crave salt, it's because I have not replaced my electrolytes, or when I crave carbs, it's because I've worked out and have depleted my carb stores for the day. It's not rocket science, just listen to your body and you will lose weight in a healthy way. Your body can show you how to eat healthy and lose weight without restricting/starving or binging, that's what hunger pangs and cravings are for, great signals that show you how and what to eat. 

 

And also, I don't think your soul mate should have to change their eating habits to match yours if they don't want to. It might take more will power on your part, but it is your goal after all, your body, not theirs. 

[soragrey]

Your gf's behavior aside... it's really hard to change people or force them to do stuff. Usually the best thing to do is lead by example. Eventually, as you start getting fit, she'll feel more motivated to keep up with you (at least that is the hope).

 

As for cravings, I've found there are two different kinds (for me). There is the first kind is triggered by me seeing something delicious, or thinking about how good something would taste. This type of craving is temporary and I can easily distract myself with something else, or have a healthy alternative (like a dessert-y tea). The second kind of craving will last all day regardless of any food I've seen or thought about. It doesn't matter if I'm hungry or not, the craving is still there. These types of cravings I pay more attention to and will usually follow up on as long as it's not too crazy. 

[Gogor]

Try saying: "You go ahaid, dearie, but I can't. I got this thing." in a tone of a voice that would suggest you are allergic or something, even if not really. heh. & yeah, walks can be romantic, with holding hands and conversations of what you did that day