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Commitment & zenLara smooths the rough edges off


Lara

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Walking my way through the week. 2 IS workouts done, 1 walk in the sun, trying to spend more time in the patio to get plenty of sunlight during the morning, and trying not to leave the table feeling hungry. Anxiety is there, in the background, with some peaks along the day, specially when arriving home at night. Will spend the next 3 days off and probably without any internet conection, but hope to at least make a challenge wrap-up on sunday evening.

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He who conquers others is strong; he who conquers himself is mighty.

Adventures don't start until you get into the forest.

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Challenge wrap-up.

 

This looks like a very poor challenge to me.

 

Goal 1. Keep my successful morning routine.

Followed it in many aspects: no snoozing, meditation, good breakfast and being grateful. Not so great on cleaning, flute practice, reading or workouts, because due to anxiety I had to reduce my activities. This last week has been a struggle to come back to normal.

 

Goal 2. WAPF eating. 

Big disaster here. Started off well, but then anxiety made everything so difficult. Hyperinsulinemia is at bay, but I would consider it a miracle, because sugar and bread have been around almost everyday.

I did ferment some vegetables, and while some were edible, others had mold so I threw them away. A new batch of sauerkraut is on the pantry right now, apparently ok.

No list of vegetables, no organized groceries.

 

I will consider this challenge as failed and try to regroup for next one.

He who conquers others is strong; he who conquers himself is mighty.

Adventures don't start until you get into the forest.

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Remember when you have a poor period of time that you share the responsibility for failure (and success) with forces outside of your control, so don't feel impotent or defeated. I hope your anxiety quietens down soon :) Also when the mind is stressed it requires more energy, so if you have sugar then it will be used up quickly, and in fact you may have genuine cravings for it.

 

Luckily you're super good at prioritising what happens in your life, and you've had a lot of practice (and success!) at getting the best out of yourself, so I have faith that you'll be doing well again sometime soon :)

 

I've been in a bit of an unproductive rut so sorry I haven't passed by your thread for so long!

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Level 25 Cyborg Assassin

[ STR 36.75 | DEX 26.00 | STA 28.00 | CON 31.25 | WIS 29.25 | CHA 24.50 ]

current 5-week challenge: March 2020

external websites with my resources for...

fitness & breathwork | mental math & mind sports | motivation & productivity

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Remember when you have a poor period of time that you share the responsibility for failure (and success) with forces outside of your control, so don't feel impotent or defeated. I hope your anxiety quietens down soon :) Also when the mind is stressed it requires more energy, so if you have sugar then it will be used up quickly, and in fact you may have genuine cravings for it.

 

Luckily you're super good at prioritising what happens in your life, and you've had a lot of practice (and success!) at getting the best out of yourself, so I have faith that you'll be doing well again sometime soon :)

 

I've been in a bit of an unproductive rut so sorry I haven't passed by your thread for so long!

 

You're so right. I feel impotent anyway, though. I feel like things are completely out of my control, and that it doesn't matter how much I work towards my goals, I've already lost the battle. These are obviously only feelings, I know it is not true. At all. It is just that anxiety is being around for so long I'm feeling tired and overwhelmed. I think winter coming is playing a big role too, with so much darkness. I've never had this winter blues before and it is hitting me badly. At least, they say it will snow tomorrow; that would be beautiful.

It does not help neither that the tap teacher has changed his schedule and this makes it really complicated to assist to the lessons. I should have to waste more than 3 hours to go and come back, which added to the lesson itself puts me in more than 4 hours of my time and having lunch at half past 4 in the afternoon. No way I can do that. So I am losing this fun thing.

 

Don't apologise for not coming by, everybody has their own lifes. I have not been following anyone myself neither, I was feeling rather discouraged. 

 

I don't know yet what I'll do. I am supposed to start a new challenge this very monday, and on one side I feel I have no energy and I just want to curl up in a corner til spring comes, and on the other side I know that if I don't organise myself properly I will lose my time and energy with things that don't make me feel well.

 

Unproductive doesn't adequately describe my current situation. More like... counterproductive.

 

Why? What have you been doing, little imp? Too much beer?

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He who conquers others is strong; he who conquers himself is mighty.

Adventures don't start until you get into the forest.

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Well I don't think it was a complete failure, you still did some things you enjoy and that's important.

 

Are you having fun with Tap?

 

Try not to put too much pressure on yourself, especially around your work. I'm falling in this trap too at the moment, it's difficult to find perspective sometimes. Just remember you are very good at what you do (yes I've heard you play now so you can't say you're not ;) ) and as frustrating as it is to doubt yourself it usually all comes good in the end. Even if something goes wrong, well we will still be here to support you and your friends and family will still love you.

 

You can do it Lara, keep trying! :positive:

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Beer and eating whatever and whenever I want...

And no running.

I've added 10# already :tongue:

 

Probably you will lose them as soon as you stop feeding yourself on beer  :lol:

 

 

Well I don't think it was a complete failure, you still did some things you enjoy and that's important.

 

Are you having fun with Tap?

 

Try not to put too much pressure on yourself, especially around your work. I'm falling in this trap too at the moment, it's difficult to find perspective sometimes. Just remember you are very good at what you do (yes I've heard you play now so you can't say you're not ;) ) and as frustrating as it is to doubt yourself it usually all comes good in the end. Even if something goes wrong, well we will still be here to support you and your friends and family will still love you.

 

You can do it Lara, keep trying! :positive:

 

Yes, I did some things. I am aware that these feelings are not realistic. 

No fun with tap anymore, won't be going to those lessons :(

 

Thank you for your words!

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He who conquers others is strong; he who conquers himself is mighty.

Adventures don't start until you get into the forest.

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Lara, darling, I am so proud of your "failed" challenge.

1) you didn't slink off into hiding

2) you found what morning things are doable even during an increased period of anxiety. That's a strong foundation to build on SLOWLY.

3) I can hear all your affirmations and reframing as you talk about your anxious thoughts. This very skill has led you to victory and will again.

May I make a suggestion for your next challenge? Maintain your current morning routine and add 5 minutes of one of the other things each day. That's it!

Also, winter is totally time for more Icelandic methinks. ;)

Hugs, lady. Keep moving forward!

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Love as thou wilt.

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Lara, darling, I am so proud of your "failed" challenge.

1) you didn't slink off into hiding

2) you found what morning things are doable even during an increased period of anxiety. That's a strong foundation to build on SLOWLY.

3) I can hear all your affirmations and reframing as you talk about your anxious thoughts. This very skill has led you to victory and will again.

May I make a suggestion for your next challenge? Maintain your current morning routine and add 5 minutes of one of the other things each day. That's it!

Also, winter is totally time for more Icelandic methinks. ;)

Hugs, lady. Keep moving forward!

 

Thank you for your encouraging words.

 

It is weird to be totally aware that my feelings and sensations are not related at all with my actions. I know I've done my best in this situation and yet my sensation is I'm a total wreck :/  I know it is "false", but why is it there?

 

I think I'll try to simplify things. Maybe I should focus on cheering up.

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He who conquers others is strong; he who conquers himself is mighty.

Adventures don't start until you get into the forest.

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For me, not focusing on it seems to help...I make a point to do things I enjoy, be 'selfish' for a while if you will...

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Current: RES: CUTE in 2022

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Growth happens when you care more about the well being of your future self than the comfort of your present self!

"Pass on what you have learned. Strength, mastery. But weakness, folly, failure also. Yes, failure most of all. The greatest teacher, failure is." -Yoda

 

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Well, I've been thinking a lot today about what to do.

Some ideas came to mind.

First: I'll take one day at a time. I won't be looking for longer periods by now; not weeks, not months, not -obviously- a whole challenge.

Second: everyday I'll try to focus on things that serve my well-being and hapiness at that moment. These things will be very different depending on the day and my state of mind and body that day.

Third: I'll keep on trying to spend time outdoors, to expose to sunlight and open air.

Fourth: do at least one fun thing every day, no matter which type of activity. 

 

I don't think I need to worry about my workouts or flute practice by now, I am quite hooked on what I am working right now on both fields, so I won't pay them any special attention. I have confidence I will keep on those tasks without problem.

 

So here we are: I'll take one day at a time.

 

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He who conquers others is strong; he who conquers himself is mighty.

Adventures don't start until you get into the forest.

Link to comment

Two first days went rather well.

I haven't spent much time outdoors, but I've been doing things that make me feel well: meditation, workout, flute practice...

My fun things have been so far: yesterday, playing full speed twice the new piece I am working on, Lughnasa, no matter what happened. Today, I did a kind of random workout, and it included beginner steps to cartwheels. Lots of fun with this.

Also, I've retaken my supplements, which I had discontinued for a while.

Now leaving to work, I have a concert today with my students. I hope they will play nicely.

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He who conquers others is strong; he who conquers himself is mighty.

Adventures don't start until you get into the forest.

Link to comment

You're so good at choosing a sensible approach irrespective of your current circumstances. Also cool that you're working on cartwheels - I've found them difficult but unlike other gymnastics skills like flips, the progress seems to be positive and steady. Hope you keep having some fun with those :)

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Level 25 Cyborg Assassin

[ STR 36.75 | DEX 26.00 | STA 28.00 | CON 31.25 | WIS 29.25 | CHA 24.50 ]

current 5-week challenge: March 2020

external websites with my resources for...

fitness & breathwork | mental math & mind sports | motivation & productivity

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Way to go on turning around the new challenge Lara. The last one was a bummer but you got your wins where you could. Taking this one a day at a time is a great idea. I hope the anxiety hurries up and realizes it's not welcome soon though!

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You're so good at choosing a sensible approach irrespective of your current circumstances. Also cool that you're working on cartwheels - I've found them difficult but unlike other gymnastics skills like flips, the progress seems to be positive and steady. Hope you keep having some fun with those :)

 

Let's hope you are right :)  I must say I was rather surprised because I had tried this exercise last year and I barely could get my feet off the ground, and yesterday I was going rather high after some attempts. And more important, I was in control of what I was doing. I could modify height, effort, landing spot... and I practiced from both sides. Happy happy :)

 

Way to go on turning around the new challenge Lara. The last one was a bummer but you got your wins where you could. Taking this one a day at a time is a great idea. I hope the anxiety hurries up and realizes it's not welcome soon though!

 

I  wish anxiety were over. Anyway, there's some improvement: yesterday I got this concert with my students, and I had to play with some of them. I don't usually get nervous anymore about these situations, but yesterday anxiety was there and I was almost trembling. I played with no trouble anyway and when I arrived home tension had gone away, which is new, because I frequently keep on being very anxious after concerts. Not yesterday :) I slept poorly, though. I think I'm gonna be back to valerian for a while.

Glad to see you're back and well!

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He who conquers others is strong; he who conquers himself is mighty.

Adventures don't start until you get into the forest.

Link to comment

Two first days went rather well.

I haven't spent much time outdoors, but I've been doing things that make me feel well: meditation, workout, flute practice...

My fun things have been so far: yesterday, playing full speed twice the new piece I am working on, Lughnasa, no matter what happened. Today, I did a kind of random workout, and it included beginner steps to cartwheels. Lots of fun with this.

Also, I've retaken my supplements, which I had discontinued for a while.

Now leaving to work, I have a concert today with my students. I hope they will play nicely.

That piece is lovely...  Once the anxiety goes away (cause it will)... will you share yourself playing again?  I love to hear you.  :)

 

Glad you are already starting to feel better!

Love as thou wilt.

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That piece is lovely...  Once the anxiety goes away (cause it will)... will you share yourself playing again?  I love to hear you.   :)

 

Glad you are already starting to feel better!

 

I hope I'll upload it, yes! :)

Yes, I do feel better, let's hope things come back to normal soon.

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He who conquers others is strong; he who conquers himself is mighty.

Adventures don't start until you get into the forest.

Link to comment

hi Lara! I managed to miss the end of your challenge but I so appreciate your attitude at the end of it, because even though you were tempted to be discouraged you really shook it off and moved forwards positively. <3 looking forward to the next one!

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hi Lara! I managed to miss the end of your challenge but I so appreciate your attitude at the end of it, because even though you were tempted to be discouraged you really shook it off and moved forwards positively. <3 looking forward to the next one!

 

Thank you sweetheart!

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He who conquers others is strong; he who conquers himself is mighty.

Adventures don't start until you get into the forest.

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I admire how you're using what works for you and let go of what doesn't...:) You've inspired me in so many ways with that...thank you!

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RES...and I want to live days worth dying for...

Current: RES: CUTE in 2022

Spoiler

Magickal, Eclectic, Goddess, Level 65

|1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13|14|15|16|17|18|19|20|21|22|23|24|25|26|27|28|29|30|31|32|33|34|35|36|37|38|39|40|41|42|43|44|45|46|47|48|49|50|51|52|53|54|55|56|57|58|59|60|61|62|63|64|65|66|67|68|69|

|My Character Page | Tracking Spreadsheet |

Growth happens when you care more about the well being of your future self than the comfort of your present self!

"Pass on what you have learned. Strength, mastery. But weakness, folly, failure also. Yes, failure most of all. The greatest teacher, failure is." -Yoda

 

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I admire how you're using what works for you and let go of what doesn't... :) You've inspired me in so many ways with that...thank you!

 

Amazed to see I inspire you. It feels weird, to be true, but really appreciated :)

 

--------------------------

 

Feeling like I need a reboot.

There are some moments that are better than a week ago, but still every task looks hard and dull.

 

I've started to meditate twice a day instead of only once, when I get up and before sleep, hoping it will help to find more relief in daily life.

 

I've hurt myself today while trying to do a so-so-low-cartwheel. The surprising thing is that my first thought after the pain was: this happens because I move and train. Sure it wouldn't happen if I were laying down on the couch as I used to, but other things wouldn't be happening neither, and what awaits on the couch is far worst than this moment of pain. So... good, I would say :)

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He who conquers others is strong; he who conquers himself is mighty.

Adventures don't start until you get into the forest.

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Ow, what did you hurt in the cartwheel? Is it okay now? You're right that if you avoided all risk then life would be super boring - good attitude. Shame you're feeling unmotivated though, it's a crap feeling. Maybe check that you've been getting enough sleep and eating the same as before (maybe with a few more non-protein carbs for winter fuel)?

 

Feeling like I need a reboot.

Misread this as "Feeling like I need a robot." lol :) I guess that could help too?

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Level 25 Cyborg Assassin

[ STR 36.75 | DEX 26.00 | STA 28.00 | CON 31.25 | WIS 29.25 | CHA 24.50 ]

current 5-week challenge: March 2020

external websites with my resources for...

fitness & breathwork | mental math & mind sports | motivation & productivity

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