Stealthstitcher Returns to Untangle the Slinky of Her Life

[stealthstitcher]

Back again.

So, I get in these slumps where I don't care about anything. I don't feel upset or sad or depressed or anything - I just don't care. Then one day I seem to wake up and go, "Wait ... where am I? What am I doing? How did I get here?"

Last week I realized that the grass in my back yard was 9" high and I was having MnMs for breakfast. Seriously, I was sitting at the table, eating a bag of MnMs and a glass of milk and gazing blankly out at the back yard jungle and suddenly I came to my senses and realised what I was/had been doing.

My progress toward health seems to be a spiral. I go forward ... and then loop back. Usually I end up going a little further forward than last time and then looping not quite as far back as I was, so the overall trend is forward progress. However, this time I seem to have gone back to start. The slinky of my life has become tangled.

 

I need to get back to this so I can metaphorically flip my way happily down the stairs again.

I've been trying all different kinds of goals and methods, but part of my problem is that I have no ultimate end goal. So I'm going with a single, simple long-term goal. As of this morning, I weighed 222 pounds. That is more than I should weigh. A good half of my relatives have diabetes. I do not want diabetes. Eating a healthful diet will assist me to both lose weight and avoid diabetes.

 

Goal 1: Return to Whole30. It did good things for me, but I didn't stick with it long enough. Right now, rules are my friends. If I get in a don't-care slump, following pre-established rules is easier and more likely to happen than trying to vaguely "eat healthy". The long-term goal will be a Whole90. If I go off plan, I will restart at day 1.

Reward: After every 30 days in a row, I will buy a book or movie from my hard-to-find book and movie list.

 

Goal 2: Mobility/Flexibility. My mobility and flexibility are both really poor, which leads to injuries. Injuries make it hard to get exercise and accomplish everyday stuff. I used to do 20-30 minutes of stretches everyday (quite completely during my latest don't-care slump), but I never worked specifically on mobility. To ease into it, I'm going to start with 10 minutes of flexibiltiy and mobility work every day. I need to come up with specific exercises - I know Mark's Daily Apple has some good stuff.

Reward: Not sure ... I'd like to come up with something small and simple that nonetheless feels "yay!" that I can do after finishing mobility/flexibility work. I'll have to think about it. Suggestions welcome.

 

Life Goal: Make a list of things that really need to get done around the house (touch up paint, clean out cabinets, etc.) Accomplish four tasks a week.

Reward: A clean and repaired house.

 

That's it; keeping it simple. Not worrying about stats or anything this time around.

[athousandwords]

I feel you on the Whole30 - I did one back in January to kick start my goals as well.  I wasn't eating M&Ms for breakfast, but I was drinking amaretto out of the bottle with a straw at one point, so, yeah, life choices needed to be reevaluated.  Welcome back to NF, glad you're here again!

[stealthstitcher]

Two days in:

Goal 1 - Accomplished both days. I'd read that a lot of people have a harder time with their second Whole30 (maybe because the novelty has worn off?) but so far (a whopping two whole days) I'm finding it easier since I don't have the learning curve. No sugar cravings that haven't been defeated by mint tea and I know how to season food rather than rely on cheese to make everything taste good now. (My very first meal of my first Whole30 was a very blah "omelet" with nothing in it but eggs and salt and some frozen chopped broccoli. I do not reccommend it.)

 

Goal 2 - Accomplished both days. Tried some wrist and ankle mobility exercises from Mark's Daily Apple. They are a lot harder than I expected, and not just because I have really limited mobility. It's like my muscles don't even know how to move my joints around. Tried rotating my ankles - couldn't do it much at all without holding my foot in my hands and manually rotating it. When I tried to just rotate my ankle, my whole leg would swing around in little circles. Presumeably this gets easier with practice? Seriously, it made stretching seem easy and I'm terrible at stretching.

 

Chores accomplished thus far - Levelled Mt. Laundry (I've been piling all the laundry on one end of the table and just rummaging through for what I need ... for about two weeks ...) and gave the dogs a bath.

[Elanor the Fair]

Great! Keep up with the good work! I'm looking forward to your upcoming entries!

 

I'm struggling with a pile of laundry too at the moment BTW

[athousandwords]

Nice start!  I'll probably be doing another W30 after the holidays, so I'm curious as to whether you end up finding it easier or harder.  I loooove mint tea for those sugar cravings though!  Another favorite is this Twinnings honeybush tea - I swear it actually tastes sweet!

[tonbaldin]

Hi.

I liked how you have associated your goals with rewards!

This is a first step to build new habits!

Keep us informed!

[T2sarahconnor]

Great job so far. I too am working on mobility. I will have to check out MDA.

How did the rest of this week go?

[stealthstitcher]

Okay, time for a review of the week.

Work was crazy, so I didn't get around to posting.

 

Goal 1: Up until today, I did fine on my Whole30 goals. I did have one meal that was off template - running late for work, grabbed a banana and some almond butter. Both are acceptable foods, it's just I didn't have any protein or vegetables so not exactly an approved meal. Also I was way hungry by lunch. Then someone gave me a plate of cookies as a thank-you for helping her with a toga (toga day at high school - apparently that's a thing?). Could have said no thanks, but that seemed rude. The plan was to take them into work where the college students would fall on them like locusts. But (as you may have guessed) I did not resist - I ate some cookies. So I will restart my count at day one tomorrow. Honestly, while I don't want to continue a trend of giving in to unhealthy foods just because they're there, I don't feel like eating well for almost all of 7 days is exactly a failure.  

 

Goal 2 - Successful for six out of seven days on this one as well. Missed one day of stretching and mobility. 

 

Life Goal - Aside from laundry and bathing the dogs, I also cleaned the oven. That's 3/4 on this one.

[athousandwords]

Darn those cookies - they're so tempting and delicious!  Hope your restart goes well and you have better success going forward.  It's still early days and your body is craving its old food choices - once you get a few weeks in you'll feel much better and it'll be easier and easier to say no!

 

Congrats on the stretching and mobility goals, and the housework!  You're making great progress - don't let the restart get you down!

[tonbaldin]

Darn those cookies - they're so tempting and delicious!  Hope your restart goes well and you have better success going forward.  It's still early days and your body is craving its old food choices - once you get a few weeks in you'll feel much better and it'll be easier and easier to say no!

 

Congrats on the stretching and mobility goals, and the housework!  You're making great progress - don't let the restart get you down!

This is it!

I have no words to add!

 

keep going! don't give up!

[stealthstitcher]

Darn those cookies - they're so tempting and delicious! 

I think cookies are my one weakness. If I were off saving the world, my archnemesis would show up with a plate of cookies and I would wail, "Nooooooooo, you have found my weakness!" (Now I'm picturing my superhero archnemesis as a sweet but evil cookie-baking granny ...)

 

Goal 1: My new day one went well. Restart successful! I do have a challenge coming up this weekend, though. My parents will be visiting. I could just cook Whole30 style for them but my dad is going to want to know where the cheese and pasta are (he dislikes most meats ... and most vegetables ...) and my mom thinks Whole30 sounds like a punishment and is going to be upset that I'm not eating desserts. I could also cook separate meals for them and for me, but then I will have the cheese and pasta and desserts in my house and will have to resist them. Fortunately, my teenage brother who is also coming will eat almost literally anything as long as he can put ketchup on it.

 

Goal 2: I did do my 10 minutes of stretching and mobility last night, but I was not very focused.

 

Life Goal: No special chores finished, as yesterday was lawn mowing day.

 

 

 

Congrats on the stretching and mobility goals, and the housework!  You're making great progress - don't let the restart get you down!

 

 

This is it!

I have no words to add!

 

keep going! don't give up!

 

Thanks, guys!

 

[athousandwords]

Goal 1: My new day one went well. Restart successful! I do have a challenge coming up this weekend, though. My parents will be visiting. I could just cook Whole30 style for them but my dad is going to want to know where the cheese and pasta are (he dislikes most meats ... and most vegetables ...) and my mom thinks Whole30 sounds like a punishment and is going to be upset that I'm not eating desserts. I could also cook separate meals for them and for me, but then I will have the cheese and pasta and desserts in my house and will have to resist them. Fortunately, my teenage brother who is also coming will eat almost literally anything as long as he can put ketchup on it.

 

I vote you cook Whole30, most people won't even notice!  Make something extra tasty that stands on it's own - like Kalua Pig or steak, and if you need to supplement it just buy the bare necessities.  ie, a 4 pack of rolls so that your family can put the kaula pig in sandwiches.  Or, suggest that you go out to eat and pick places where you know you can order W30 approved meals.

 

Best of luck and stay strong - remember that you're doing this for you!  They don't have to understand or agree for you to keep going!

[Archon]

Awesome progress so far this challenge! I have the same thing about needing rules. I like to allow myself some freedom but have to fight hard to not take a mile when an inch is given.

[stealthstitcher]

Well, my thoughtful coworkers are unwittingly attempting to sabotage me. They brought in a dozen super fancy donuts from the Amish bakery for my birthday and insisted, forcefully, on leaving them in my office. When I attempted to move them to the main office to share there was loud protest. "No, no, no, those are for you!" When I explained briefly that I was not eating such things as donuts right now - "Oh, you can have one! It's a special occasion!" Sometimes people mean so well ... and help so little.

So I thought I'd take a break and hop on here and add a progress bar. If the donuts tempt me (I'm doing okay so far, and I know the college students will consume them as soon as they know they're here.) I will remind myself that I have to set my Whole30 progress bar back to zero if I eat one. The idea seems to provide a mental defense against the sugary things.

[Elanor the Fair]

Wooow, what a challenge, don't want to be in your place there. So, did they eat them or are there still some left?

[athousandwords]

Hey, happy birthday!  I think it's awesome that you're sticking to your guns about your Whole30 restart - I honestly could not resist donuts if they were sitting right there in my office!  I'm also in awe that you're doing a W30 around your birthday - I totally derailed during my birthday earlier this year.  Kudos to you!

[stealthstitcher]

Wooow, what a challenge, don't want to be in your place there. So, did they eat them or are there still some left?

Funny story - no students were coming by, so I decided to take them to the student lounge. It was empty, so I left the donuts on the table, went to a short meeting, and then returned through the student lounge. Which was still empty. But all the donuts were gone. It had been maybe 20 minutes. I feel like students in other parts of the building sensed there was free food somewhere and came just to grab a donut, then left.

 

Yesterday went well as far as goals. Stuck to Whole30, did my stretches and mobility exercises with better focus. Didn't get any extra chores done. I planned to go through my file box, which is crammed full of random papers that may or may not be important, while watching tv but got into the show and ended up only sorting four pieces of paper ...

 

Today I anticipate difficulties. I'm having trouble dealing with people - generalized, non-specific anxiety whenever I have to interact. Why does that make me want to eat things? Just had a ten minute conversation with someone about some supplies we need to buy and I feel shaky and like I want to hide for the rest of the day - and for some reason that makes the vending machine call, "Come, I can soothe you with candy!" Which actually doesn't even help. Maybe some mint green tea instead?

[athousandwords]

I feel like students in other parts of the building sensed there was free food somewhere and came just to grab a donut, then left.

 

I am fairly certain this is a superpower you acquire as a student.

 

How did the rest of your day go?  Did you resist the siren song of the vending machine?  And by the way, I get that feeling all the time - "Hey, I navigated this tricky social situation!  I deserve a treat!"  or "Damn, that conversation really sucked... I should cheer myself up with chocolate!".  Food has been my comfort mechanism for way too long.  It's hard finding new ways to relax/reward that don't involve food.

 

One piece of advice I read is to write down a list of small rewards, like Buy myself flowers, Take a 10 min walk or yoga break, Read a chapter of a book, Make a cup of tea, etc - and then pick something from that list when you find yourself wanting food as comfort.  If nothing else, it may distract you until the food craving has passed.

[stealthstitcher]

It's hard finding new ways to relax/reward that don't involve food.

 

This is so true! Especially if you're also trying to find things that involve little to no money. I've read articles that suggest instead of rewarding or comforting yourself with food, you get a massage or buy new shoes or something. But those are major expenses compared to a $1 candy bar! Besides, do you really want to continue the cycle of, "When I'm unhappy, I get THINGS! And THINGS make me happy!"

 

I did survive yesterday. I don't know if I would have managed it if people had brought unhealthy snacks in, but the fact that I would have had to walk past a bunch of people to get to the vending machine on an anxious day is actually a huge help. Although the desire to avoid people is its own problem ...

 

Goal 1: 3 for 3 this week. And thank you to whoever invented crock pots.

Goal 2: Struggling to focus while doing exercises. I can sew all day long but as soon as I start working on stretches, I get bored and my mind wanders off. Still, I technically did them.

Life Goal: Still no extra chores done this week. My plan was to sort through my file box, put up a piece of ceiling trim that's been sitting around for weeks, wash the windows and finish patching the living room drywall. Haven't done any of that yet.

[athousandwords]

Kudos on getting through the day!  I have the same issue with getting bored while stretching - I know I need to do it, but I always want to rush through or cut myself short.  Have you tried following along to a video?  Or maybe making a playlist and forcing yourself to stretch until it's over?

 

Great job on the eating - hope you get the time to tackle your chores soon!

[stealthstitcher]

Very fast update. Work exploded into business and I wasn't prepared. Poor planning kills, people! It kills!

Or, in other words, Whole30 is not going to work this week. If I had planned and packed a week's worth of meals, then maybe. But I did not. And now I'm only home to sleep and shower. Just focusing on making the best convenience food choices I can and/or skipping meals. I need to learn not just to plan but to also have a backup plan.

Stretching and doing mobility exercises when I happen to think of it.

Chores ... ha, very funny.

What kind of crazy person voluntarily works in theatre ...

[athousandwords]

Just because you can't do Whole30 this week is no excuse to eat poorly - you can still stick to a paleo diet plan even with poor planning.  That's what Chipotle is for!    Make good choices and you'll come out of this week ready to hop back on the W30 bandwagon.  You can do it!

 

 

What kind of crazy person voluntarily works in theatre ...

 

I voluntarily volunteer in theater and some days that makes me question my sanity....  

[stealthstitcher]

Just because you can't do Whole30 this week is no excuse to eat poorly - you can still stick to a paleo diet plan even with poor planning.  That's what Chipotle is for!    Make good choices and you'll come out of this week ready to hop back on the W30 bandwagon.  You can do it!

 

Thanks! Honestly, that is helpful. It's so easy to make busyness an excuse. Monday and Tuesday were downright crazy ... I made a good eggs-and-vegetables breakfast on Monday, worked through lunch, and grabbed a fast food burger for supper because I only had 15 minutes. The particularly annoying thing about that is that it's not like I even wanted fast food. Tuesday I made instant oatmeal and ate it in the car, and took a left over cold potato from home for lunch (seriously, I did - it was the only thing I had in the house that was prepped at all, and I knew I'd have no time to go out.). I did take a short supper break ... sorta ... and boiled some eggs to take back to work with me along with an apple. All of this pathetic food was due entirely to a complete lack of planning and preparation on my part.

Wednesday things slowed down a bit and I ate actual food. And today, I decided to restart Whole30 even though I had an early morning matinee. So far, so good.

 

Valuable lessons from this experience:

When people are visiting, extra planning is required. It's not like my parents' visit over the weekend was a real problem. They're reasonably supportive and would have had no problem with me saying, "Okay, I'm going to need to spend some time grocery shopping and prepping meals for the week. Do whatever you like and I'll be back with you in a couple hours." But I do really badly with the thinking thing when people are around - even family members. So it would have been a good idea to make a menu, shopping list, and schedule for myself before they arrived. 

 

I am not a multi-tasker. Relating to the above - I can't talk to people and plan for the week at the same time. Therefore I should focus on one thing at a time. When I have something important that needs to be accomplished, I need to shut down other activities and do that one thing until it's done. Sometimes one has to multi-task because life is not neat and tidy, but why make things harder for myself when I don't have to?

 

A cold potato is not a meal. (Actually, I knew that already. But it bears repeating. A cold potato is not a meal!)

 

 

 

 

I voluntarily volunteer in theater and some days that makes me question my sanity....  

There comes that time in every show where you think, "I could be doing something easy, like brain surgery. Or relaxing, like mud wrestling. But instead I'm doing this ..." 

Then the next show comes along ...

Yay, Q2Q! 

[athousandwords]

Good for you on getting right back onto your whole30!  Plus you learned some valuable lessons from this week - sounds like a total win in my book.  That really does sound like a crazy week, with almost no time for food, so you did the best you could.  Even if it meant having a cold potato as a meal.  

 

Also, I'm the same way, whenever i have guests in town - even if it's just my parents! - I go into hosting mode and feel like I can't do anything that I need to get done.  I know they'd be fine with me grocery shopping and meal prepping (heck, my mom would probably help!) but I feel like I need to give them all of my attention.  It's a work in progress.

 

There comes that time in every show where you think, "I could be doing something easy, like brain surgery. Or relaxing, like mud wrestling. But instead I'm doing this ..." 

Then the next show comes along ...

 

This is so true!  *cries*  Seriously, every single show I think, "This is it, I am taking a break after this one", and then before I know it I'm signed up to do another one.  Voluntary insanity.

[stealthstitcher]

 

This is so true!  *cries*  Seriously, every single show I think, "This is it, I am taking a break after this one", and then before I know it I'm signed up to do another one.  Voluntary insanity.

I suppose it's better than enforced insanity? 

 

Day two of back on track. Eating is going well. Stretching and mobility, not so much unless you count un-stiffening my shoulders 300 times a day. My left shoulder especially gives me trouble due to the position you hold while sewing on a machine for hours on end. I've contemplated going to a chiropractor ... I hear such mixed things about them. Either they cure all ills and restore life to the dead, or they're quacks who make things worse. 

Chores, just barely holding my own with ordinary dishes and tidying due to the busyness of the week. But no matinee tomorrow! I love Saturdays with no matinee ...