Tamaska's Battles.

[Tamaska]

Day One: Awakening.

 

My eyes open and I look up at an unfamiliar scene. I'm not in my bed, I'm not in my room and I'm sure in the hell not inside either. The air smells like wet rocks, water and moss as I let my eyes scan the glowing stalactites far over head. The eerie green glow only illuminates so much before the roof of the cave turns into a a black abyss far over head. I turn my head to the left, its nothing but an uneven slab of rock that has marbling of the glowing rocks. There's a special name for rocks that glow... Flour.... flur... Fluorescent! That's the word. The rocks are fluorescent. My head tilts to the right and the cavern I'm in is more open on this side. Stalagmites riddle the floor randomly, just like their hanging brothers above them they're riddled with glowing bands around their girth. I can hear the steady drip of water drops hitting rocks through the cave, its making me brutally aware of how I need to pee. But, I should just wake up shouldn't I? Wake up in my bed that's on the floor like I always do? A sea of blankets and pillows would be surrounding me and my cat Ohgren should be laying on my legs. Despite what I think should be happening the scene around me doesn't fade and the silence is nearly maddening. 

 

I roll onto my side quietly feeling the urine in my bladder shift uncomfortably. I swear to god if I go pee in this cave and wake up pissing in my bed I'm going to be so pissed. Now that I'm standing my view of the cave has changed a little bit. I'm in a small section of what appears to be a much larger annex to an underground cavern. In the distance there is that faint fluorescent glow of the rocks, but I can't see any of the familiar white light I'd associate with the sun or a flash light. Where am I? My eyes travel the confines of the walls around me; the area is about 15 feet wide by about 11 or 10 feet long. I look down at my feet to find that I've got my shoes on, I'm wearing jeans and a T shirt along with my hoodie. Why am I dressed instead of in my pajamas? I feel the beginning sensations of anxiety start to build in my gut as I move away from where I woke up. I pass around a large stalagmite that stands at the center of the room to find something white there. Its.... It's toilet paper. Who leaves toilet paper here? I take the roll and scan the area a little bit more thoroughly. This is the most ridiculous dream I've ever had. Off on the side of another stalagmite is a stone toilet... What the fuck. I approach the toilet shaped object. It's not made out of porcelain like I'd expect it to be, but its made out of the very stone this place is made of. I pick up a small rock and drop it in the center of the toilet. I peek over the rim and hear the faint splash of it hitting water. I pick up a few more and repeat the process. Nothing but the faint sound of rocks hitting water. No glowing eyes, no hissing or growling either. I guess its safe. 

 

After I'm done with my business I feel worlds better. I put the toilet paper on the back of the toilet and go back to looking around. The cool damn air sucked all the warmth out of me from having my pants down. I hope I can find the way out of here or wake up soon. I circle around another stalagmite quietly looking for anything that might lead me out of here or give me a clue as to whats going on. I eventually make my way back to where I was laying down and find a piece of paper folded into fours pinned under a rock. 

 

Hello,

 

My name isn't important and who I am isn't important, I'm just letting you know that your name in this new world is Tamaska. Your old one won't do here, so I've taken it from you. There is no need to panic, you have all your memories of your past, but just not your name. Eventually you may find that the memories of your past become fuzzy and hard to remember the longer you stay in this world, but again, this is no need for worry. Everyone who comes to place soon forgets who they once were. You'll worry about your mother and the bills I'm sure, but once again, don't worry about them. I have everything under control. 

 

Over on the big stalagmite in the center of the room is some toilet paper. To the left is a toilet for you to use as you wish. Against the big stalagmite is a backpack for you to use. It has some equipment in it that I'm sure you'll find useful. The caves aren't dangerous this time of the year for most people, but don't stay here too long or you'll become trapped. I can't tell you where the exit is or where you are. You'll have to find that out on your own. I'll be in contact with you later.

 

XOXOXOXOXOX

Lucinda 

 

They took my name!? Just as the person who wrote this note predicted I immediately feel a surge of panic. This isn't a dream? This isn't something I can just wake up from and call it a day? NO! I know my name! I need to go home and take care of my cat, I need to take care of my mom! I need to go to work on Tuesday! I'm going to be fired for sure! I start to pace around wildly. No, okay, okay, okay, calm down. First, we'll remember my name and then we'll go from there. I start to focus. I've written my name for most of my 23 years of life. I've written it, I've been called it and lord knows I've been teased for it. I picture the corner of all my assignments, the top right corner where my name and the date go. I see the date, I see the work for the assignment just fine, but I can't see my name. It's blank. A shiver runs down my spine. No... no... I KNOW MY NAME! I search my pockets for a pen I normally carry. It's not there... Whatever I can write my name just fine with my finger on the rocks! I crouch down poised to write the name I've known my entire life and I'm greeted with nothing. I don't remember my name... I can sing the ABCs... I can write the ABCs, but none of the letters stand out to me as belonging in my name. 26 letters and none of them are mine... Its'... its heart wrenching to not know my name. My eyes scan the crumpled piece of paper quietly. Tamaska... this Lucinda... person gave me that name. I know what it means. It's that Native American word for wolf. I like wolves, and I did lots of research on Native Americans as a little kid. Navajo, Cherokee, Mohawk, Blackfoot, Yakima, Arapaho, Sioux... Tamaska was Cherokee. I scan the paper again, a back pack of stuff? I stand up and walk towards the big stalagmite at the center. Sure enough, there is a backpack leaning against the large rock formation. I kneel down and pull the leather drawstrings open. I start taking things out of the backpack. A heavy wool blanket, a change of clothes, a flint and steel thingy, water bottles, an MRE (Meal Ready to Eat)  thingy. There was even a book. Survival for Dummies. Wow.... thanks. Lucinda was an asshat. I fished around a little more and came across my 360 controller, a pack of batteries, my 3DS with some Pokemon games, the charger for it, pen and paper, a flashlight and a sack of coins mixed with colorful rocks. Not normal rocks either, these were beautiful and smooth like they'd been polished and worked on by a gem specialist person. Why did I need my 360 controller and my DS? I can't exactly plug them in to a rock and charge them... 

 

Whatever, I toss the items back in the bag and scuttle over to the toilet to snag the toilet paper roll. Ain't no way in hell am I going to be wiping my booty with moss if I can help it. I start walking towards what I think is the exit of the little cavern I'm in. The steady plip-plip of water on stones, the rushing of water in the distance and eerie silence all that accompanies on my journey to find a way out of this darkness and to this Lucinda asshole. 

[Tamaska]

Day one 

Entry 2

Explanations

 

I step out of the cavern and look out into the murky darkness with a frown. Why did I get placed in this dank nasty cavern? It's cold, the lighting is crap, the rocks glow and there is nothing even remotely entertaining here. I'd kill for a pizza with a soda and some of those awesome brownie things you can get from pizzahut. Whatever. I can't get that here. I look down at the cavern flooring that is striped with the glowing rocks randomly. It's mostly flat, but there are uneven dips and shelves in the dark grey rocks. "Hello?" I shout and my voice echoes around the huge cavern before dying out. Too bad I'm not a bat I'd be able to echolocation my way out of here. I smirk at the idea before I start trudging towards the sound of running water. As I walk a soft pulsing glow catches my attention. What if that glow is like that fish down at the bottom of the ocean? The one with that dangly thing on its head that it uses to lure other fish in before it eats them!? Do those things exist in caves that aren't full of water? A frown crosses my face as I lean against a stalagmite warily. I watch the light, and it doesn't shift, it doesn't wiggle or bob at all. It's the only interesting thing in a sea of stupid rocks that jut out of the ground or hang from the ceiling. In fact, I can't really see the rocks hanging from above me because they're so far above my head. 

 

I push myself up off the rock and head towards the softly pulsing light source I see. I shiver a little bit and pull the sleeves of my hoodie down around my hands as opposed to having them pushed up to my elbows. I reach the glowing rock with little difficulty, it sits on top of another piece of paper folded up into fourths. The last one was written by that Lucinda asshat. Was this one written by the same person? I slowly reach out towards the paper and attempt to tug it out from under the glowing rock. Just because it hasn't set the paper on fire doesn't mean it can't be hot light a like bulb. I give it a yank and nothing happens. The rock holds it firmly and the paper doesn't rip at all. A frown crosses my face before I reach into my pocket where I put the flash light. It's one of those heavy industrial ones made out of metal. Way better than the dinky plastic ones. I grab the light end and poke at the rock with the other end of the flash light. It should just roll away and let me get this piece of paper. Nothing happens. The rock doesn't budge. I lean all of my weight against it and nothing happens. What in the hell!? I grumble and finally reach out to grab the rock out of frustration.

 

The cavern lights up like its the middle of the day and a voice echoes around the place. "Hello, Tamaska. This message is for you. We want you to know that while you're on your journey you will meet many different people and go on many different adventures. The goal is to become a better person." The rock vanishes and I'm left blinking away bright colorful dots in my field of view. Great, now I can't see. This is just great. Like some kind of wonky BS video game. I snatch the paper up and sit down against the stalagmite it was pinned against. What did that voice mean by 'becoming a better person'? Am I not good enough as I am? My mom was proud of me, I was working on a career in medicine, I worked full time, I took care of my mom, I paid my taxes and I was nice to people! How dare that voice tell me I WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH! My hand balls up into a fist. Fuck that guy, person, girl, thing. I don't know. The voice was androgynous anyway. Screw them. I huff and open up the letter.

 

Hello again Tamaska!

 

I'm sure you're rather annoyed with this turn of events. I know I would be if I was you, and I've been watching you for a very long time, so I think I have a good grasp of the kind of person you are. Your goal is to become a better person; its not that you're NOT a good person, its just we think you can be better. I, we, us, you, want you to be mindful of the things you're doing to your body. You don't have a schedule, you sleep odd hours, your diet is shot to oblivion and we're concerned. The last time you weighed yourself you weighed 289 lbs or there abouts. It concerns me that you're this heavy. You know its not healthy to be that big for someone who is only 5'6". You've taken a nutrition class, you've seen the colorful plate diagrams from the internet and in your medical classes. We know change is hard and you're a stubborn person, so I, and a few other people have decided to force you to change. You're going to be angry, you're going to want your old food and your old habits, but right now, you CAN'T have them. For the next week starting on Monday, October 26, 2015 we're going to have you keep a food diary. Everything you eat, everything you drink is going to be written down. You have pen and paper in your bag and you will keep track of these things for us. I know, I know, it sounds like a load of shit, but this is something you HAVE to do or you're not going to leave. Remember when I told you that the caves are dangerous? It's because it traps the people in them until they do exactly what we say. This is for your own good in the long run even if you can't see it. The format we want is as follows. 

 

The date.

The time you woke up.

A list of the things you've eaten or drank.

What you did today.

The time you went to bed.

 

Simple right? Well, I'll leave you to it Tamaska. Remember, do as we say or you stay locked in the cave for all eternity. =D Byeeee.

 

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Lucinda.

 

I stare at the paper in my hand. We? I? Them? Us? I've been kidnapped by some freaking crazy lunatic! This isn't a game! They can't keep me here! I'll fight my way out! I WILL MAKE THEM RUE THE DAY THEY THOUGHT THEY COULD FORCE ME TO DO ANYTHING! In my fit of anger at this turn of events I attempt to shred the paper in my hands. Nothing happens. I pull and I tug, I go so far as to bite it and stomp on it, but it only gets wrinkly. WHAT IS THIS!?!?! I scream in frustration and throw the paper on the ground. "I'M NOT A TOY OR A THING TO EXPERIMENT ON!" I shout loudly into the darkness of the cave. After the echoes die to down I'm greeted with the eerie silence punctuated by the steady distant sound of running water and the plip-plip of water dripping. This is ridiculous.

 

For hours I quietly stew in my anger.

[LuxCharizard]

-grabs popcorn- Dang you can write, you make me wanna make my life a video game xD

[SpecialSundae]

Beautifully written log! This will be fun!

[Tamaska]

Thanks you guys! I figure if I use my writing skills to illustrate my progress I'll be more likely to do it. All the other attempts at keeping myself accountable were very... uncreative. Soooo, starting Monday, I'll be keeping track of everything I eat, drink and do for a week. After that week we'll move along to different goals. =D

I'll even take pictures of my logs to post here so it feels like someone will call me out on my BS if I lie.
 
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In my normal messy scrawling hand writing that looks like some kind of mash up between print and cursive I jot down my thoughts on the pad of paper I found in my backpack earlier. The flashlight I have is propped up between two stalagmites that are starting to grow together. Maybe in another bajillion years they'll form one big one. I don't know, I'm not a geologist. I just remember reading something or hearing someone say that stalactites are formed by minerals being carried in water. As it drips over the centuries it leaves behind particles that slowly build up. In turn, the water falls to the cave floor creating stalagmites with the same process of mineral deposits. What they didn't mention was the ANNOYING DRIPPING NOISE THAT WAS CONSTANT! God I hate this place. It's dark, its gloomy, and believe me, I've tried plugging my 3DS into a rock... it doesn't work. This place is ridiculously stupid. With a growl I focus on the paper in my lap. There are water spots on it... I think I'm starting to hate water.

 

 

I think I'm hallucinating. When I slept I watched my life unfold before my eyes. I wasn't in control. I had to watch myself do things like I was some kind of spectator. It reminded me of the spectating you can do after you die in Call of Duty when you're online doing multiplayer. I could thrash and scream all I wanted to, but it didn't change my situation. I don't think that Lucinda person was joking around about keeping me trapped here forever. I should probably do as she says, but that doesn't mean I can't find a way out of this in the mean time. Shit isn't okay. It was nice seeing my mom and my cat though... Lets get this shit show on the road.

 

 

Monday

October 25, 2015

 

The time I woke up? Pffft, I was up doing stuff when the new day started. So, I guess I'll sleep later and jot down the time I woke up then. No big deal, its not like Lucinda can punish me for my wayward sleeping habits yet. She can eat the male anatomy for all I care. Ain't nobody telling ME what to do. I hate this pen... why can't I have my nice pens? She had to give me this stupid roller ball stick pen, you know the kind you can find in packs of like 100 for a couple bucks? Yeah, that one. I hate these things. Whatever.... I'm going to sleep to see if that freaky dream happens again.

[LuxCharizard]

Holy crap this is such a good idea. I should do it! Thanks for sharing this with us!

[Tamaska]

October 26th, 2015

 

The funky dream hallucination started again. I tried to sleep around 1am or so, but I didn't get to sleep until around 4am. I woke up at 8am to take mom to her appointments. Tired, groggy and a little grouchy the entire time, it was annoying. Food I ate so far. A cranberry bagel. Liquids, 33oz of water. By the time I got home I had added one of those long toostie roll candies to the list. Around 10am I went back to sleep since it was my day off and I was tired as hell.

 

When the physical body I'm no longer in control of goes to sleep, I'm dumped back into the cave system. I've explored it rather thoroughly, I think. There is the section where I woke up that has the toilet. Nothing interesting there. Same old same old boring rocks marbled with the glowing ones. The bigger cavern is the same. I can hear some kind of river, but I haven't been able to find it. I've walked the perimeter of this cavern and its just this unforgiving stone. I can't punch a hole in the rocks and I don't have anything to help me dig out either. I found a few places where the rock wall is uneven enough to possibly climb it. I'm not sure if I can do that though. I'm scared of heights and if I fell... Nope. Not an option right now. There is a cute little pond, lake, puddle thing, I don't know what to call it. It's about as wide as I am tall. I haven't seen anything living inside of it, but that doesn't I'm going to go swimming any time soon. Moss decorates a section of the cavern as well. Boring, spongy moss I've seen a thousand times. I quietly sit down on a busted stalagmite that has toppled to the side and quietly scan the darkness. The heavy wool blanket is useful for sitting on and keeping warm when I lay down, and I know I could read that book from my bag, survival for idiots, but the index didn't exactly indicate they had a chapter on surviving an underground terrain where you're trapped by some crazy person named Lucinda so I don't feel inclined to read it. I also haven't found a power plug for my DS or another one of those glowing orbs like the other day. Lucinda stated that there was more than person that was interested in my well being. I wonder who else is wrapped up in this crazy scheme of hers. Even if I do break out... who is going to believe me if I tell them 'Oh hey guys! I was kidnapped by something called Lucinda and she's forcing me to be a better person' Not likely. Mom warned me about running my neck to people who could lock me up in the loony bin.

 

My physical body wakes up at 5pm, mom cooks dinner and I eat it. Baked chicken breast, steamed white rice with butter and salt as well as peas. I had two slices of potato bread with it plain. Two cups of apple juice and more water. My physical body then played around on the computer for a few hours. Another 66ozs of water as well. I find some candy and eat it. Three tootsie rolls and a tootsie pop. Nothing exciting there.

 

Today's food eaten:

1 Cranberry bagle

4 tootsie rolls

1 tootsie pop ( sucker)

1 baked chicken breast

2 tablespoons of white steamed rice

4 tablespoons of canned peas.

1 teaspoon of butter

a pinch of salt

2 slices of potato bread plain

 

Liquid consumed:

2 large glasses of apple juice

Approximately 99ozs of water. AKA 3000ml

 

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Text in blue is the journal entries Tamaska is making in her note pad. Black text is her thoughts and ideas or actions in the cavern world. She is spectating her physical body go through its habits and routines for a week and is applying no change to her endeavors. Text that is under the -------- line and Italics or slanted is author commentary is out of character (ooc) noise making via text lol.

[Tamaska]

October 27. 2015

 

Woke up around 8am.

 

Made oatmeal, rinsed some dishes and put 'em in the dish washer. 

Ate about a half a cup of oatmeal. Added 1/4 cup plain white sugar... Not my proudest moment but it tasted so bland!!!!! >.< klajsdflkjasd 

Washed my dishes and put them in the dish washer. 

 

Went back to bed around 9:30ish

 

Woke up at 1pm

Got out of bed at 1:45

Mom made me take left overs for work. Chicken and mashed taters. yum.

Dressed for work and left around 2pm

Returned mom's overnight reader thingy for the tests the doctors needed.

 

Drank spice chai tea

1% milk and sugar added

 

At work at 3pm. Doing 12hr shift x____X

 

drank hot cocoa.

 

MY HUMAN BODY IS SO BORING!!! I toss my pen and pad to the cavern floor. All it does is eat, sleep, answer emails and go to work! Sometimes it even goes to the bathroom! What in the shit am I doing with my life? God this is boring! I stand up and pace the cavern quietly. What the hell am I suppose to do with this information for a week? Lucinda better have a DAMN good reason for all this BS or I'm going to flip shit on the next piece of paper she sends me. Just you wait, I will use that steel and flint thingy to set it ON FIRE. Maybe I'll actually get warm that way! 

[Tamaska]

October 28, 2015

 

There is something here... there is something in this cave and its watching me. I can feel its eyes on me. I can feel it watching my every move. My eyes scan the darkness quietly and warily. I can't see shit in the cave due to the murky darkness that is hardly even phased by the plethora of fluorescent glowing rocks. Even my flash light isn't very effect for getting rid of the darkness. The stupid thing only illuminates nearby areas of about 6 or 7 feet away and 4 or 5 feet wide. In a cavern that is a few hundred feet wide and long that doesn't do jack shit for the distant corners.

 

Lucinda said the caves were dangerous, but she didn't say WHY beyond the fact that people get trapped here because she controls them. Is there something here that she can't control? The idea of some kind of monster lurking in areas I can't see makes me feel small and uneasy. Video games, stories, and movies have monsters in them.... but the hero is always armed with SOMETHING. They're always in a group, they've got help even in the darkest hours and their time of need, but... but I don't. I have a flash light and a video game system. No sword, no fancy powers, no friends to help me and the feeling of being watched just isn't going away. I can feel my anxiety mounting, the panic that has plagued me since I was young, the feeling of being powerless and unable to change the things around you. My eyes strain, my ears strain and I hold my breath for moments at a time in hopes of seeing or hearing something, anything, a clue as to what is giving me this feeling. But, I can't see or hear anything! I bite my lower lip and try to break the mounting panic. You've been through this Tamaska... you've had these panic attacks before. Stop it before you start crying and hyperventilating; that's not going to help you. No one is here to hold you and tell you things will be better. You can't... you can't do this right now.

 

OW! I bit myself a little too hard. With a whimper I run my tongue over the area I bit. The tang of iron rich blood makes my tongue curl back, I hate that taste. Great, I bit the blood out of myself. I hope the monster or whatever it is isn't attracted to blood. I shiver and slowly get to my feet. Come on Tamaska, you're a fighter. How many books, movies and video games have you played that gave you ideas for survival? Is there a place to trap it if the thing comes towards you? Is there a place to force it to only come from one direction? What do you have to set up a trap? My mind races as I slowly pick up my blanket and wrap it around myself almost like a shield. My shivering is more than just the ever present cold, its my body reacting to the high levels of anxiety and panic I have. Go back to the room you woke up in. It's big, but there is only one way in and there is less room for whatever is watching you to get to you. If its big maybe it won't be able to come in.

 

The hairs along the back of my neck stand on end as I move slowly towards the smaller cavern. My heart is in my throat as I move across the couple hundred feet that separate me from the smaller sanctuary. I can hear the sound of my own heartbeat thundering in my ears, the sound of my own breathing seems all too loud. Somehow, I manage to make myself walk the distance to the smaller cavern without running. I reach the back of the smaller cavern and collapse on the hard floor. My entire body is wired and full of energy as I shakily attempt to catch my breath. I need to calm down. This is just a feeling, I have no proof that something is actually in the cave with me. I need to calm down. Count to ten... count to ten...

There is nothing the cave.

Nothing in the cave.

Nothing in the cave.

Nothing in the cave.

Maybe there is something in the cave.....

NO! YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH! THERE IS NOTHING IN THE CAVE.

God damn it... now I lost count...

What's that noise? Oh god... oh god... oh god.

 

I slowly turn to look behind me. There is a face... there is a face looking at me. There is a mother fucking face at the mouth of the cavern. My blood runs cold as I hear a clicking noise come from the creature as its head tilts side to side. The body connected to the face is gangly and matches the rock walls of the cavern. No wonder I couldn't see anything when I looked around. It blends in with the rocks. The head tilts again and the clicky noise happens again. It reminds me of the creepy tree spirits from Princess Mononoke.