Cledbo thinks Femto-sized

[Cledbo]

 

 

So that's a not so subtle hint that this challenge will be different. Very different.

 

I won't say I crashed and burned in my last challenge. Life events took a turn into Depression Avenue and I feel like I'm stuck on a round-a-bout though, so doing things the same would surely be insanity (because there's no way I could achieve the kinds of goals I've set in the past).

 

I'm getting help for the problems which are causing the depression hopefully between now and the end of the year, and I'll be seeing a new psyche from next week.

 

I want to feel like I'm achieving SOMETHING, so that's where NF comes in. There is no main goal outside of that. I have decided to relax and let life settle after the storm a bit before I go focusing on specifics for the future again.

 

1. Take Stock

I need to look at where I am, so I have something concrete to compare to down the road to prove that I am indeed making forward progress. I haven't brought myself to do this yet, because it will require some effort to do it without judgy-judging myself and getting more depressed. It needs to be done, though, so I will do it.

Some goals may come out of this process, which is fine, but I'm not forcing anything (one lesson learned!)

 

2. Femto-action + Prizing

Femto is very small, smaller than nano, so small it can't possibly make a difference (or can it?).

My femto action is silly and seemingly pointless, but I do it every day and every day I prize myself for it (interested in finding out about prizing? Check out my accountabilibuddies group!) What I'm trying to do is change my brain so it sees me as a winner instead of a loser. I will also prize myself, and others, as often as possible.

I definitely can't take credit for this - I bought an online course called the Procrastination Cure by Wendy Joy Hart (not linking because I'm not a spruiker; if you're interested feel free to Google it For less than the price of one appointment with my psyche, I feel like I've found something really valuable though, so that's my endorsement)

 

3. Let Go Of Time

This one is tough, and also counter-intuitive to anyone who has set goals before. I need to let go of my desire to have shit fixed now. Or within a certain timeframe. Because holding on to the timing is not only stressful, it's counter-productive. This is more of an attitude than a task, but I will revisit my frame of mind regularly to make sure I'm not stressing about shit getting fixed now, and instead am relaxing into the process of my little, regular wins.

 

 

So that's it. Told you it was weird. It's also deceptively simple, but like many simple things that doesn't mean it's easy.

 

[ShadowLion]

Not weird at all. Just paying attention to what works! 

 

Small is good. Simple is good. They are very effective. Whole life revolutions are built on such tiny things.

[Countess D'If]

Hey! I've been renting on depression avenue! Shit part of town.

It's not weird, baby steps are always the hardest.

[Cledbo]

My frying pan can't handle fajitas of this magnitude.

I wish the internet had smell-o-vision. My kitchen is like a fiesta.

[Cledbo]

Hey! I've been renting on depression avenue! Shit part of town.

It's not weird, baby steps are always the hardest.

I actually thought of you as I tumbled off my personal cliff, in that I thought "I need to go get help like Countess did, there's no other way out" so thanks for that 😊 you helped me by helping yourself

[Cledbo]

Not weird at all. Just paying attention to what works!

Small is good. Simple is good. They are very effective. Whole life revolutions are built on such tiny things.

It sounds trite but the whole journey of a thousand miles quote is true. Also, big steps are too hard most of the time, and steps you may think are small can be too big as well. So I'm going as small as possible to become fail-proof, and working from there.

[DarK_RaideR]

Dang, now I feel this urge to cook fajitas. Just finished dinner, mind you

[Cledbo]

Action packed first couple of days here. I got a call at midday yesterday that baby girl could come into sleep school as there'd been a cancellation, and here we are! Frantic packing and a mercifully short car ride later.

Last night fair sucked, there are twins across the hall from us who arced up at 4 am, and bubs woke not long after and was awake for 2 hours. Mostly my fault, but that's why we're here - to get learned.

Today is going well so far, and I've definitely worked out why my sleep training has failed in the past - I'm a big softie and gave in too soon to her loud protestations. It's so good to have experienced nurses next to you to say keep going, she's fine, and then she falls asleep after 15 min (in the past I wouldn't last until 5)

I even did my femto-action this morning despite being majorly depressed about the early morning wake-up, and it made me feel better.

I'm consistent, and I do my best to take care of myself and my baby.

[Countess D'If]

I actually thought of you as I tumbled off my personal cliff, in that I thought "I need to go get help like Countess did, there's no other way out" so thanks for that you helped me by helping yourself

Awww, I'm glad to hear that! It's a scary step, but soooooo cathartic! (((hugs)))

[Elastigirl]

They have a sleep school? That is awesome. I hope it helps.  My son was an insomniac since he was tiny, he's an adult now, and he still struggles with sleep.

[Cledbo]

They have a sleep school? That is awesome. I hope it helps. My son was an insomniac since he was tiny, he's an adult now, and he still struggles with sleep.

In Australia they do. I know America has sleep consultants, but I got to come here for free (including meals and no laundry to do #winning). The staff are all mothercraft nurses, with a registered nurse on at each shift as well.

It's been good so far, definite progress is happening. It's not "3 days and you're done" like all those sleep training books say. Every baby is different! It's made me really appreciate my bubba too, she's such a happy child and seeing some of the other kids has helped me remember how special she is (and not just cos she's mine!)

One more night to go. I must admit I'm sleeping way worse than normal, because I can hear the other babies screaming blue murder all night, but baby girl is doing great so it's all good in my book!

[Elastigirl]

In Australia they do. I know America has sleep consultants, but I got to come here for free (including meals and no laundry to do #winning). The staff are all mothercraft nurses, with a registered nurse on at each shift as well.

It's been good so far, definite progress is happening. It's not "3 days and you're done" like all those sleep training books say. Every baby is different! It's made me really appreciate my bubba too, she's such a happy child and seeing some of the other kids has helped me remember how special she is (and not just cos she's mine!)

One more night to go. I must admit I'm sleeping way worse than normal, because I can hear the other babies screaming blue murder all night, but baby girl is doing great so it's all good in my book!

Sounds like a great opportunity

[ShadowLion]

Glad you are able to go to the sleep school and awesome that you are seeing progress. Your little girl sounds like a sweetie. Hope you got some good rest the last night!

[Cledbo]

Back from sleep school! It's funny how I seem to have less time to myself than before, but I think that's just because I can't read on my phone while feeding baby anymore (she's totally distractable 😛) so really I do have time just not for interwebz quite so much!

On the challenge front, I still need to sit down and do a bit of taking stock. I think tomorrow will be good for that, now I'm back home and my Mum is visiting for the week.

I've been doing my little femto action every day (yay me!) and trying really hard to prize myself for all the great work I've done this past week. PS it's so nice to be somewhere not filled with other people's screaming children!

I'm getting good at letting go of timing as well, and also at reflecting on how far I've come when my brain keeps wanting things to rush to the finish line. We went from screaming for 30 min to get a nap, to 15-20 with minimal fussing. Now of course the goal is to put her in her cot awake, then leave and gave her go to sleep alone, and that will come in time. I just need to be persistent, consistent and a loving mum 😊

Got one of our regular Pathfinder games on today (like D&D 3.5) so gotta go help set up, and do dishes and other mundane stuff.

[Cledbo]

Went to They Might Be Giants for our first ever child-free date night, yay! Not at all fitness related, but definitely nerdy and great for my mental health and relationship 😊 I was a bit nervous, and if we hadn't been to sleep school I don't think we could have gone, so everything worked out really well, very pleased.

Went for a walk today, that's it fir exercise. Have also been eating everything in sight as usual but most of it is healthy-ish so whatever. Taking stock will happen soon, as will a haircut. Exciting times.

[Teros]

I need to look at where I am, so I have something concrete to compare to down the road to prove that I am indeed making forward progress. I haven't brought myself to do this yet, because it will require some effort to do it without judgy-judging myself and getting more depressed.

 

What I'm trying to do is change my brain so it sees me as a winner instead of a loser.

 

3. Let Go Of Time

This one is tough, and also counter-intuitive to anyone who has set goals before. I need to let go of my desire to have shit fixed now.

 

Ah yes, the judgy-judging....  Dealt with that in my head for waaaaaaay too long.

 

Strengths-based approach.

 

I don't think it's exactly counter-intuitive.  It's erasing the deadline and instead just focuses on babysteps or some sort of progress.  That seems more healthy.

 

[Cledbo]

Ah yes, the judgy-judging.... Dealt with that in my head for waaaaaaay too long.

Strengths-based approach.

I don't think it's exactly counter-intuitive. It's erasing the deadline and instead just focuses on babysteps or some sort of progress. That seems more healthy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0MK7qz13bU

I suppose I thought it counter-intuitive only because we've had SMART goal setting hammered into us for a while, and the T is of course time-sensitive, like if you don't say "I'll get to this place by x" then it won't happen. Really, you need your steps to be time sensitive, as in "I will walk every day, or exercise three times a week" (As opposed to "when I feel like it", I guess?) but the end result you're after, like losing weight or gaining strength, will just happen when it happens if you keep doing what needs to be done.

Taking stock regularly is important in that respect too because if you're not moving towards your desired outcome then maybe you need to reassess your steps.

[AshPS]

Hey Cledbo!

Wanted to drop in and say Hi and fi d out how everything is going in the challenge and home front.

Hope all is well with you and yours!

Have a wonderful day!

[ShadowLion]

Hi Cledbo! How are you doing?

[Cledbo]

I'm here! I'm stalking people because I don't really have time for posting properly. Plus my own challenge is so small as to be quite boring to post about.

I've done my mini action every day no problems, I still haven't sat down to take stock properly (see above re: time and lack of it) and I go up and down with letting go of timing, mainly as applies to my bubba's sleeping habits. Yes, it's better than it was. But, it needs to be more betterer. Also I've never had to listen to her cry this much in her whole life, even when she was brand new. Now, it's at least 10 min, sometimes up to an hour, of crying which varies from mild bitching to full on hysterics, 3-4 times a day (i.e. every time she gets put to bed during the day)

To say it is getting to me is an understatement; this is why I'm seeing a psychologist.

Anyway, reading other people's threads makes me happy, and it keeps me away from Facebook as far as time sucks go, so lurking mode will re-engage now 😊

[Teros]

I suppose I thought it counter-intuitive only because we've had SMART goal setting hammered into us for a while, and the T is of course time-sensitive, like if you don't say "I'll get to this place by x" then it won't happen. Really, you need your steps to be time sensitive, as in "I will walk every day, or exercise three times a week" (As opposed to "when I feel like it", I guess?) but the end result you're after, like losing weight or gaining strength, will just happen when it happens if you keep doing what needs to be done.

Taking stock regularly is important in that respect too because if you're not moving towards your desired outcome then maybe you need to reassess your steps.

 

Understood.  I think it all depends on the goal per deadline intensity, is all.  I tend to just tone down my goal if I feel like it's falling by the wayside and then just be in 'survive mode', in a sense.  Like if it's causing me too much stress/pressure; and then kick it up afterwards.

[Cledbo]

Still lurking. Still haven't officially sat down to take stock, might do it soon. Still doing my femto action every day. Random things pop up, good and bad, and I deal with them and am trying not to worry about the future too much.

Gtg baby crying (story of my life every day at 6:30pm, and 6:30am for that matter!)