Ready Player One

[Girl-Meet-World]

So, I'm Panda, with my daily log. I'm 18, and overweight, and I dream of traveling the world. There's no place I like more than mountains, and the image of climbing them without heaving and huffing the entire way is a beautiful image. Though I walk to the bus stop, and up to school, and the three flights in school, and then all the way back, I want to push myself in my diet and exercise. I want to become stronger and better and face challenges without the knowledge of fear that I'm going to fail.

This is where I'm going to keep track of my challenges, and then the specifics for each. I will be using HabitRPG as a checklist, but this will hopefully motivate me to keep on track.

[Girl-Meet-World]

Day 1 (yesterday)

Started NF, two weeks late, but I'm going to go for it anyway.

Current Challenges: http://rebellion.nerdfitness.com/index.php?/topic/74528-panda-stretches-out/

1)Run once a week

2)Eat Paleo for breakfast and lunch

3)Workout three times a week

4)Respond as each of my RP characters

1)Didn't run today, as I had friends over. I won't mourn the loss, though I will ensure I have the time next week.

2)Paleo for both meals. Normal banana smoothie in the morning, and then lamb and veg for lunch.

3)Did two circuits of the beginner workout. Can probably push it up to three next time (I stopped as I had friends coming over, and needed to shower)

4)Spam posted as each of my characters. Now to wait for replies.

I think this is going to be the basic format for all of my posts on this, and I will link each new challenge I make. Hopefully I will stick with this one for longer than two months!

[Girl-Meet-World]

Day 2

2) Had a banana smoothie for breakfast, then tangsuyuk for lunch. This was with rice, is this considered Paleo? I'm going to, simply as I've found that is has no negative effects (unlike other grains).

3)No workout today, though I did walk home from church (about an hour). It felt good, especially after my missed run yesterday.

4)I've only had responses for two of my characters, which I have responded to. So, going to 100% for today.

I think that's it for today folks, and this isn't too hard to keep maintained. But we'll see how it goes in the future!

[Girl-Meet-World]

Day 3

 

2) I woke up late feeling ill, so I had a shared breakfast and lunch of leftover meat from yesterday, with some egg and romanian lettuce. However, at 2ish, I then had some popcorn and korean snacks, but small steps. I'm going to forgive myself, but try not to do it tomorrow (or again).

3) No workout today, though I'm going to cadets tonight, with PT (mental groan). So extra 2 hour workout for me, though I might box some this afternoon - having nothing better to do (completely ignores homework).

4) So far, I've responded as 2/3, and I've got the plan for the third. I will be writing on that after this, so that is done.

 

I think in the future, after this 6WC, I'm going to do another one with DuoLingo and keeping my room clean are going to be two future quests. The third will be fitness based. However, I like keeping a little log of what I eat, and what exercise I do, so I will keep both those parts on the Log in the future. Just a little mental note.

 

Edit: I spent some time thinking this through, but I'm gonna be honest with you guys. I've relapsed back into mild/moderate depression in these last few days, and joined up was a last ditch effort to keep myself holding onto some small thin fraying rope of my sanity. While I have been sticking with the clear goals, I've been skirting around the edges to add stuff (looking at you small bag of butterkist popcorn that my friends ate yesterday and didn't finish), therefore delaying my progress. I also (much to my shame, but to the benefit of my mental health) skipped school today, staying at home in my blanket fort. 

Thankfully, today wasn't a workout day, though I did battle mode out a clean of my room that took longer than it should have. However, that is one thing off my mind, and a dirty room only helps compact the problems that I already have. But there you have it, and honest and true rundown of how I did well, and how badly I mess up as well. The human being is so conflicted sometimes.

 

Edit: I'm also going to be implementing a new system every Sunday morning. However, I'm going to start it off today, because I can. I will be posting all of my measurements on here (and taking a photo for myself), every Sunday. I will be recording body measurements every day.

So, this is slightly off, as it is the end of the day for me, but I wanted to kickstart seeing measurements.

 

16/11/15 20:44

Waist: 103cm

Thigh: 67cm

Arm: 37cm (not sure how I want this to change, but it is currently very flabby. Perhaps the same, but with muscle instead of fat?)

Height: 167cm

Weight: 80kg

BMI: 28.7

[Girl-Meet-World]

Day 4

 

Completly forgot to measure myself this morning - because I didn't have my daily shower, preferring to sleep off yesterday. So, (why do I use that word so much???) fresh start tomorrow morning!

 

Meal: (Or challenge 2)

Breakfast : Banana Smoothie - I swear I'm never going to get bored of this drink

Lunch : Fried pork with red peppers, carrots, and lettuce. Perfect amount! For dessert, I had half a Korean sweet potato. I love those things

Snack (not counted towards my goals, but I'm gonna include them anyway. I'll probably forget this in the future) : Korean snack - like a biscuit??? Or a wagon wheel without the chocolate or cream? Called a Margaret - they taste amazing. Small, and a rarity (present from Korean friends), so low on the guiltometer.

Dinner : Oven cooked chicken with potatoes, parsnips, leek, and garlic bread. Delicious, though I'm going to see if I can't put more colours into it in the future. And as for the bread, if it's less than 10% of the meal, I'm not going to loose sleep over it.

 

Workout: Kay, so I actually edited the BBWW to suit me better. I've got a bit extra at the beginning for stretches/warm up, so the actual excercise is shorter than NF.

Squats,

Knee Push-ups

Lunges

Plank

Sit ups

And I had a sequence of 20/10/10 for each of them. So, feeling pretty good about myself! 

I definitely struggled the most with the sit ups, I've always had a weak core, so going to focus on those the most. I might switch them round with the plank, as that might affect my core some. 

Next time (so, Thursday after Cadets), I'm going to keep the same. Maybe every week I'll increase it a bit. But considering I'm already trying to change other things, and I've got my run, I'm happy with where I am right now.

 

4) Responded on all my characters. <fistpumps the air>

     Feeling pretty good about myself rn, though we'll see about that in two hours when I get all the responses back.

 

But nah, I'm doing well, beast moding it out. My room is still clean (It's a miracle!) and I'm about to get started on my homework. Wish me luck!

[Girl-Meet-World]

Day 5

 

Commentary:

So, I've been going through my mind, trying to analyse myself, figure myself out (this might be the cause to half my problems, I don't even know). But today, I brainwaved. It was a depressing brainwave. But I worked out that the reason I feel so aimless (or one of the many) is that I am aimless. My sister was downstairs playing the piano, and I was thinking "She's developing a habit, that she wants to continue into her life. One of her goals is to become successful in music. Even if that doesn't happen, its something that she enjoys, is good at, and can contribute to different people."

Then I thought, what about me? What do I do? What am I great at? Sure, I'm good at tons of things, a lot more than most people. You show something to me and I'll immediately pick it up. I can play the piano, viola, guitar, drums. I'm doing double maths, physics, dt, rs. I got 10 A* to A grades for my GCSE. I'm doing cadets. I'm an active part of church. I learn coding for fun. I self-study boxing. But is there anything I'm great at? For each of these areas, I am the second lowest tier. My best ability is my speed reading. I can't play you a piece on any instrument, if you give it to me. I have to have the sheet music and a week to practise (I acknowledge that this is still more than a majority of people, but I can't claim that I'm great at it).

I feel like I'm just so average at everything. I'm almost-friends with everyone, I'm almost good at everything. And I want to be great. I want to have one area that will benefit me, and that I will be great at. That I can pull out on a whim, that I can use to comfort myself. That I can demonstrate to people. That I can laugh about. (Maybe my problem is that I surround myself with amazing people). I don't quite know the reason why I want to be great at something first. 

Then I started thinking. What do I want to be great at? I have so many different passions, ideals, desires, activities. I draw, I dance, I fight, I write. But for none of them do I spend more than 30 minutes a week actually doing. (The only exception is writing - and thats for RPs on the internet. It may still count as writing, but I have book ideas piling up, and none of those are getting written)

I can't decide. Is this a mental thing where I don't know what I like most? Or do I realise that none of my goals share very much, that none of them impact my future - other than being a glorified hobby. Maybe in an ideal world I become a famous Lonely Planet photographer and journalist. I'm going to push towards that - but I need to keep in mind my still desired but more likely future. Mechanical engineering. And what can I do for that? What should I focus on? What should I be great at?

And then, after watching Ant-Man to calm myself down from this life-crisis, I realised something else. Why do I need to be great at anything? Why do I need to focus on something for the future? I'm 18 years old, I haven't even reached my second decade. (I probably sound so young to everyone ohmygod) Why can't I just pick something, and practise that for a while? 

I've decided. I'm going to keep increasing my fitness (endurance and strength - for thru-hikes and long term travel). And I'm going to continue writing (but I'm also going to try to work on my actual stories. Get away from the keyboard and write in the back of my school books. I'm going to keep an art journal, to doodle in when I get bored. The next one (the main one), I still haven't decided. Should I work on my music, or coding, or drawing? Those are the main three, and I don't want to do all three, because that's what I'm doing now and it obviously isn't working. I'll meditate tonight and think about it.

 

SO, onto the good stuff.

 

Consumption (I can't remember what I titled this and CBA to scroll up and check. I might just do something new every so often) :

Breakfast : Banana Smoothie - banana, milk, cinnamon, honey. Blend in the time it takes to drink one glass of water.

Lunch : Egg, ham, potato fry with lettuce, carrot, pepper, cucumber. Delicious, and completely filling.

Actually, I might start logging my water intake again as well. I used to use Plant Nanny - best app in the world for water monitoring - which I got rid off for space. But now that my spotify premium is running out, I might delete the app and use the space for water monitoring. Maybe next challenge.

Snack : Managed to hold myself off on this one, so, proud of myself. 

Dinner : Korean stew???? What is the English equivalent? This is why I don't use food monitoring, because none of the apps have any of my usual foods. Sigh.

 

Run for your livessss!!!!!

Basically, I got overwhelmed by the urge to run, and I ran home from the bus stop, and then ran around the park once I got changed. It was a good feeling, no matter how shattered I was at the end. The desire to run (I have no idea what it is or where it comes from) only happens once in a blue moon, so got to grab it while I can!

 

4) (I'm going to keep it as 4, because it will only apply to my challenge. Next challenge, I'm going to expand further. I may still have food and workout goals, but those will be added to the current ones). I've responded to all of my Lucius stuff, two of my Glenda (2/5 so meh. I'm going to see if I can't get the other 3 out tonight.) Remus is still pending application, so currently N/A.

 

Period/Mood : I'm also going to add this part, as I've been talking to some people, and I've realised that my depression may be related to my period. So, today was a new day. Finished my period (thats the start of a cycle right?), and I'm feeling pretty decent. Made a couple of revelations, still itchy in my own skin, but settling down fast.

 

[Girl-Meet-World]

Day 6

 

Meh, not the best of days. Had cadets tonight, and ended up waiting for 20 minutes in the rain, and then speed walking a mile to get there on time. Turns out, if I had been earlier (when the bus was supposed to arrive), I would have gotten to go out with my friends. But then cadets was definitly worth it, and going (or afterwards) always cheers me up. 

 

As for the debate I've been having since yesterday, I narrowed it down to martial arts and music. For the time being, I'm going to do music, as it will be too difficult to book martial art lessons now, and I would have to find the right art and where it is, and it is also (a lot more) expensive. So, learning guitar chords and general music theory it is!

 

Munchings : Oops

Breakfast : same old, same great

Lunch : Kimbap! Every Thursday, I have the equivalent of Korean sushi (except without the vinegar and fish, and it tastes 100% better). 

Snacks : Half a packet of Korean snacks (this is so difficult to describe) called Banana Kick. No longer my favourite thing - strangely.

Dinner : I was in a hurry (unnecessarily) to catch the bus to cadets, so I asked my sister to make dinner. She made noodles. But I wasn't going to complain when I had to leave in five minutes. Still tasted nice, and didn't actually go against my thing, so not toooooo guilty about that.

 

Exercises : Well

I've realised that setting myself to do exercises on the same day as Cadets is a really bad idea. As in, completely useless. So, what I did was some yoga (10 minutes of it), which I won't count as exercise (unless I decide to change my mind in the future ), and I'm going to do the Workouts of Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday. That leaves Saturday for running, and Monday and Thursday as rest days.

 

4) Ha. Haha. Ha. (IM SO SORRY GUYS).

I got accepted into my third RP muse, and spent all afternoon designing their blog. Oops. My Glenda draft pile is now 6 long, and the Lucius one is 3 long. I'm gonna have to mass post those tomorrow. Or this evening, depends how tired I get.

 

[Girl-Meet-World]

Day 7 :

 

Rollercoaster of emotions, and it's all due to hope. Found out that Jessica Jones is releasing today - can't yet watch it as I don't have netflix. Remembered Comic Con is tomorrow - realised I can't afford to go. Had a free at the end of school - ran overtime due to an Engineering meeting thing. The people are still great, and I've had amazing conversations, but I can't help but feel a bit drained at the end of such a long day.

 

Food :

Breakfast : Banana Smoothie

Lunch : Chicken, cucumber, pepper, sauce.

Snack : Hula hoops - BBQ (not nearly enough, but urgh they didn't taste as nice as I remembered)

Dinner : fried dumplings and a hot chocolate. Neither was very nice.

Not sure if the food isn't tasting as nice, because it isn't as healthy, or whether it's due to my exhaustion.

 

Workout : 

Once I've written this I'll get to it. My stomach's been heaving a bit all day, so I'm going to do 20/11/15 today (because it's the date). 

 

4) Done some response on all of my characters, need to start plotting with Remus.

 

Period/Mood :

I've been in a good mood for the majority of the day, but after getting home I'm completely exhausted, and I don't want to do anything. I'll drag my sorry ass out my house tomorrow for a run, but I won't be sleeping well tonight.

 

Also, I've decided upon music for my choices. Simply the easiest, and the most rewarding. Also, I have no money to spend on martial arts, which is unfortunate. 

[Girl-Meet-World]

Day 8 : One week finally completed. Not that happy with it tbh.

 

It was an incredibly frustrating today, in all honesty. Last night I figured out that I didn't have enough money to afford to go to comic con today, so I went to go see my friend off. It felt like an incredible act of betrayal, no matter how warm the cloak I gave her was. Really frustrated with myself over the whole business, but I don't have the money to go, or buy anything while there. I just hate feeling like I let her down. 

Then I got home, and spent an enjoyable 8 hours at Kirsty's house. Played AC for 4 hours, had pasta with really strong curry sauce, and watched 4 eps of Jessica Jones - which was really good and I didn't want to leave.

Then I get home, and spend a terrible 30 minutes searching for a CD with my cousin's photos from a trip to Scotland, which I needed to give her tomorrow. I couldn't remember where I put it (not helped by the fact that I had renovated my room since I received the CD) and got incredibly pissed at myself. Still am pissed, in all honesty. Took a lot of strength not to hurt myself, but I realise that I need an outlet for my anger. I'm going to see if I can't get my parents to pay for martial art classes.

 

Workout : 

Didn't go for the planned run, but I did run for 45 minutes to my 2nd friend's house. Did the BBWW once I realised that the CD was missing, just to push some of my anger out. Didn't really work, my stomach was gurgling acid, due to my anxiety about having potentially lost the CD forever. (Can you tell I hate dissapointing people - yet I seem to make a habit out of it).

 

Food :

Absolute binge day.

Breakfast : Toast (because I woke up five minutes before I was meant to see my friend, I couldn't get anything, then when I got home I realised that we didn't have milk or bananas, I wasn't going to go out of the house so soon after I had returned)

Lunch : Subway (my friend wanted one for her lunch, so I got myself one as well. Chicken Tikka, all veg - olives, chili sauce, 6' Hearty Italian)

Dinner : Bowl of curry bacon pasta (not sure how well our cooking attempts went). Bowl of Crunchy Nut cereal (that curry sauce was strong)

Drinks : Two glasses of water, 6 glasses of Coke, 2 glasses of Sprite. Not good, though I did pee a lot of clear.

 

4) Got 6 drafts for Glenda, though I got out a starter, so I did write something, and I will write two responses now. All replies out for Lucius, though I've already received a response for one of them. Received a starter for Remus, will respond after this.

 

Period/Mood : It was restful at Kirsty's, though stressful in the morning - I discovered I could get out of bed and out the house in exactly five minutes. Stressful at home, thinking that I had lost the CD

[Girl-Meet-World]

Day 9 : Somehow I got the dates wrong, and it's actually Day 9 of all of this today. Over a quarter of the way there!

 

Good day, went to church, met Gen and Max, my sister made some cake, watched Cheaper By the Dozen 2 again, and Ice Age 1. I'm gonna keep procrastinating my maths test, and get some replies done and watch either Agents of Shield or HTGAWM. maybe both.

 

Meals : 

Breakfast : What did I have again? Oh yeah, toast with butter and apple jam. Ate in a hurry because I got up an hour late for church.

Lunch : Moroccan Lebanese restaurant. Kebab skewer meat of some form, and naan and lots of hummus.

Snack : Cake and Smarties

Dinner : Currently 3 satsumas.

 

Excercise : Did a BBWW, and spent two hours fun-dancing with my sister. Felt good, though I could do more right now (its been an hour since the last excercise).

 

4) Replied on all four, though I still have five drafts for Glenda. Still waiting for Remus starters/replies.

 

Period/Mood : Good day, good mood, fun time with family.

9pm : Scrap that. I feel like absolute shit. I've gone ahead and actually self-diagnosed with ADD, which is just another thing that I need to go and see the doctor's about that. The problem is doing that. I've relapsed (again - after 3 days does it really count as a relapse?) and I'm struggling to do anything. I just want to curl up and sleep for 36 hours, and watch Jessica Jones. Everything requires so much effort. I've managed to write my name on a test due tomorrow, but I can't stand to even read the question. It takes too much brain power. I think I'm going to be sick.

[Girl-Meet-World]

I've been struggling to breathe these past two days. I didn't have the energy to come online and update yesterday - though I managed to pull myself to Cadets. Hip hip hoorah. My room is slowly becoming covered in clothes, I haven't done the washing yet, my homework is piling up, the to-do list is growing, my own apathy is growing, and I went ahead and self-diagnosed with ADD. Well shit. Perhaps I shouldn't have done that, but it explains so much, and I'm not trying to twist the facts to fit the theory. I know myself well-enough for that.

I currently have the GP on my phone, though they're still on hold, so I'm going to see if I can't get an appointment to discuss my mental health. I don't know how I want it to turn out - but I do need help. 

 

So, I'm going to do both days in this post. If I can't remember most of it.

 

Day 10 : 

Food :

Breakfast : Banana Milkshake

Lunch : Fried rice

Dinner : Steak and sweet potato mash

Excercise : Nada. Went to cadets. Way too tired to do anything else.

Rp : None. I actually got a response for Remus out after midnight, after making a huge mistake for the first one. The drafts are piling up again.

Period/Mood : Relapsing back into depression. Can I call it a relapse after only one day without it?

 

Day 11:

Food:

Breakfast : Banana Milkshake

Lunch : Chicken, lettuce, red pepper, cucumber. 

Snack : Croissant and Sensations Thins

Dinner : Unknown

Exercise : I'm going to do the BBWW after this. Cause my body is shaking and I need to distract myself.

RP : I'm going to reply to all of them, or the majority of the Glenda ones. We'll see, and I'll tell you tomorrow.

Period/Mood : Incredibly tired, nearly fell asleep on the bus, unwilling to do anything, zero energy or motivation. Depression. Stressed because of the stuff I have to do, and I really need a massage.

 

There we go. I'm going to exercise now, then write, then do my homework. If I can concentrate for that long.

 

EDIT : 

Work out :

20/15/15 for Squats, Knee Push ups, Lunges, Plank. 20/10/10 for the sit ups. That's my major weak point, along with my stamina. Feelings slightly better. Though I'm now worried about my gap year (as my mind tends to wander) and being able to pay for it.

[Girl-Meet-World]

Day 12 : Went to see Switch and Crossing IRL for the EES thing in school. Fun, though wet, and I was late home. I realised that I really hate people who can't smile in annoying situations. Maybe hate is a bit strong, but I got really annoyed about my two friends for moaning about the weather and how they were going to be late home. I mean, I understand why they were moaning, but they simply refused to crack a smile. Maybe it was just me and my attempts to get them to smile. Oh crap (*shoves social anxiety back into its box*)

 

Food:

Breakfast: Guess. I dare you to guess.

Lunch : Leftover chicken curry and rice

Snack : 7 Fox's chocolate chip biscuits (so good omg) and a packet of animal biscuits.

Dinner : Dwengangchijae (the brown Korean soup) but with omuk in it.

 

Workout : Ran home from the bus stop. Felt really good about that. Though I'm really sore from the 50 (50!!!!) squats from yesterday.

 

RP : Got Lucius and Remus out of the way. Staring at the Glenda pile of drafts in something akin to fear.

 

Period/Mood : Decent mood. Perhaps forcing others to be happy makes me happy. I also had some good time to myself listening to podcasts on the way home. 

 

I had a thought for my life quest next time. I really want to try journaling again, but I do consider it quite the chore. This almost counts as a journal, but I want pen and paper, and I want doodles and scribbles and an actual journal. If I do that, this section might become quite a bit more factual, but it will only be for my benefit. So.

[Girl-Meet-World]

So, it's currently 11:15 in the evening, and I'm rushing out an answer. Yesterday, I binge bought Witcher 1, 2, and Fallout 3 on the Steam sales. Under £6 and I love myself and hate myself in equal measure. I plan on playing at least an hour of Witcher 1 tonight. Cadets was fun, though its always draining. Additionally, I'm going to be going on camp for the weekend, so I'm not going to be able to respond to anything until Sunday. When I'm making my parent's wedding anniversary present.

 

Day 13

 

Food:

Breakfast: Guess. Please. You'll probably get it right.

Lunch: Kimbap

Snack: A bowl of granola and bran flake cereal

Dinner: Another bowl of granola and bran flake cereal

 

Excercise: Too drained on a Cadet day to do it. Will be doing plenty on camp this weekend

 

RP: Still have the pile of Glenda stuff to do, but caught up on the rest, and starting new threads. Also writing an app for Ava Parkinson in knockturnrp, as terrible as that decision is.

 

Period/Mood : Good mood today, though my skin felt prickly at times. Was completely shattered after cadets, though I recovered on the journey home. 

 

Also, I had a strange thought today. I can't actually envision myself travelling with someone for 6 months. How am I supposed to ever get in a relationship?!

[Girl-Meet-World]

Weekend Update, from Friday to today because I've been completely shattered from Cadet camp. 

I've discovered that this is actually a really good accountability tool (also coupled with the constantly open tab of Habitica), and makes me want to do stuff so I can write it here, even if no-one else is actually following along on this thread. (If you are, shoot me a message, if you want to comment, please do it on my 6WC)

 

Day 14 (Two weeks in whoop whoop)

Set off for Bramcote Christmas Camp, looking forward to my (probably) last camp.

Food:

Breakfast : Banana Smoothie

Lunch : Chicken and veg

Dinner : Cereal ??

Excercise: Not much

RP : Nada

Period/Mood : Good mood, though nervous of camp, but I tend to enjoy it.

 

Day 15 Saturday, first day at camp. Mostly rifle drill, passed it easily, lots of walking around in the freezing cold wind, and doing the test in the rain.

Food : 

Breakfast : Chocolate wheetos cereal and bacon, undercooked egg, sausage, and beans

Lunch : Pastry off a pasty, caramel bar, mini roll, sparkling water. - Really unhealthy, but I need the energy.

Dinner : Christmas meal. Fancy ass dinner. Turkey, peas, brocolli, sprouts, chicken, gravy. Dessert : Two strawberry cream cakes. Amazing (though that might only be because I was so exhausted).

Excercise : Lugged the tables downstairs, walked for five hours, controlled a rifle for all of it. That counts as serious exercise.

RP : Nada.

Period/Mood : Feeling kinda down, tired from everyone and everything, feeling left out of chats. (Cathy seemed to have replaced me with Masie, understandable, but still hurts.)

 

Day 16 (Sunday, last day of camp) Exhausting, did't sleep much, yay

Food : 

Breakfast : Crunchy nut and wheetos cereal

Lunch : 3 caramel bars, 3 mini rolls, half an apple, 2 packets of crisps, Kit Kat

Dinner : Lasagna and (almond honey cinnamon lemon) cake. - Made it for parent's anniversary, it tasted amazing.

Excercise : Lugged those tables back up again, walked to pershore rd from cadets with heavy bag - took an hour, roughly.

RP : Nada. I came home, tossed my stuff on the floor, fell asleep at 9.

Period/Mood : Really tired but unable to sleep until I was home. Very unmotivated, didn't want to clean my room at all.

 

Day 17 (Monday) School day, was not fun. I also had cadets in the evening, which was great fun, and we did movements with/without a rifle in the dark. Lots of laughing, which felt good.

Food :

Breakfast : Bran cereal - I was so asleep I ignored the bananas. Perhaps its not yet a habit? Or did I just really crave carbs after my weekend.

Lunch : Leftover lasagna and pizza.

Dinner : Fish, and sungok made kimchi dumplings. Really tasty.

RP: About to start. Will finish it before I sleep. 

Side Note : Need to update CV, and print it off before Saturday. Need to order maths textbook, and watch things.

Period/Mood : Getting the white sticky stuff, and I've got a lot of tension in my shoulders. A sad mood, though I will do things today(/tonight).

[Girl-Meet-World]

Serious problem here. I really need to commit to writing every day, because my depression is refusing to let me get the energy to click on this tab and write half a dozen words of how the day went. Leaving it to snowball, and me playing a constant game of catch up (as some of the teachers in parent's evening so helpfully mentioned to my parents).

 

Day 18 (Tuesday) : Can't remember much of the actual day, which is why I need to keep to writing. However, in the afternoon I went to Sungok's house after school, to decorate the Christmas tree and other, which was really fun. We also watched two episodes of Blue Blood. And then I went to a Physics lecture on antimatter, which was really interesting, and I made some nice notes. However, I think Tasneem and Bayan are slightly toxic for me, as I always doubt my self-worth when I'm around them.

Food : 

Breakfast : I think it was a banana smoothie, because I refused to have cereal for two days in a row.

Lunch : Something. Probably chicken and veg. Can't remember. Urgh.

Dinner : Went to Sungok's house, had ttoppoki, chicken in a sauce, and dumplings. Absolutly gorgeous.

RP : I think I got out a few replies, just to keep me in the game.

Excercise : Nope. Said I would do it on Wednesday.

Period/Mood : No period, though incredibly stressed, depression coming back to bite me in the butt.

 

Day 19 (Wednesday) : Supposed to be a chill day. Stressed out in the morning due to work, then had a fun afternoon in form time. Discovered that Ms. Whittington likes me and my 'self-acceptance' - obviously she realised I'm not straight. Wants me to speak to a friend about balancing religion and sexuality - though she didn't put it in as many words.

Food : 

Breakfast : Banana Smoothie, I ate mushed bananas and it was weird, the texture was slightly off. I like my bananas like how I bite into them. Whole.

Lunch : Chili con carne.

Dinner : Leftover chicken, ttoppoki, shredded mint lamb shoulder, chicken steak. So much protein, and everything tasted really nice. Best meal in a while.

RP : None. I looked at my computer and then went to bed at 9:30, which is 3/6 hours earlier than usual.

Excercise : None. I was too tired from doing nothing.

Period/Mood : Shattered. 

 

Day 20 (Thursday - Today) : How am I so far into the month already? Where has the time gone? The end of the term (with its exams and coursework) is quickly approaching and I'm getting more and more stressed. There was parent's evening tonight, and they finally found out how badly I'm doing in school, and my inability to hand in homework in time (because I simply cannot concentrate at all - and I think all my friend's hate me for constantly leeching off their answers), and I got "the talk" which basically made me feel bad. However, I do have a doctor's appointment tomorrow about it, so I'm going to see about getting a professional diagnosis, and finding out what exactly I can do with that.

Food : 

Breakfast : Bran cereal, because I couldn't be asked to make a smoothie after my dad used the blender. 

Lunch : Kimpab. Didn't eat all of it. I felt fat but starving.

Snack : Slice of Gregg's cold pizza. Cheese was surprisingly tasty. 

Dinner : Two slices of toast and butter, and a mug of cereal.

RP : None. I've requested a hiatus from fn, and I'm going to try and reply as Remus. Will write an app for Dungus tomorrow (along with my CV - I'm applying for a job, as if I didn't need the extra stress). 

Excercise : PT at cadets tonight. Something about exercise just heightens everyone's ability for bullshit and moaning. I can't stand people crying about shit, instead of trying to change it. Deal with it people. (I know that I have an incredibly high tolerance for everything - including pain - but it just frustrates me, especially at ARMY cadets.)

Period/Mood : I've guilt tripped myself into writing this now, but I'm still so tired, I want to sleep now, at 11. I woke up three times this morning (4:30, 5:30, 6:30), due to this strange sleep patterns, and I have no wish to repeat it tonight.

[Girl-Meet-World]

I'm procrastinating again, though I never let it go past 3 days, which I suppose is good. My mother just commented on how it looks like I've lost weight, but I don't feel it, especially not after the carb food heavy meals I've been having over the past few days. Perhaps the mental breakdowns are contributing to fat loss. Tears weigh something, I guess.

 

Day 21 (Friday) : Went to see the GP about my mental health, arrived an hour early because I didn't know the exact time of my booking, didn't know I had to tell the receptionist I was there, ended up missing my appointment and grabbing a last one because the Receptionist took pity on my small young self. It was embarrassing, and something that I've definitely learnt from. Don't wait 20 minutes to ask about your appointment! Got home late, found my parents home worrying about me, though they apparently forgot to call/text me to find out where I was, or what I was doing. I can sense the love here guys. Then I cried infront of them (again) because (still) believe that this is just something that happens to all teenagers - because my mother thought negative things when she was teenager - and that I'll grow out of it and then I mustn't accept prescribed drugs because they'll simply become a crush. PM your thoughts on this. 

Food : 

Breakfast : Banana smoothie. Maybe.

Lunch : Chicken curry. Very nice, even when lukewarm. Discovered that other people don't eat rice cold. #cultureshock

Snack : Bran flakes. I think I need to ban cereal from the house because I WILL eat it. 

Dinner : Raw noodles, rice, cheese and crackers. 

RP : Idk. 

Excercise :Walked to and from the GP, in the cold, which was draining though I felt strong.

Period/Mood :Cried after the talk with the parents. First cry in a while. So....

 

Day 22 (Saturday) : Christmas Meal day. Went to help prepare the Church. Got up late, went to church for lunch, watched a bunch of youtube videos, was exhausted, I hate children (especially ones who think that they can emotionally manipulate you into doing what they want, and if you don't, they are the nosiest monsters on Earth). 

Food : 

Breakfast : Nothing. Saving for the meals later.

Lunch : Four slices of Bobby's pizza. Absolutely delicious, though I shouldn't have had the last one. 

Snack : Nothing. I was wayyyyy too full. 

Dinner : Plate of turkey and veg, and then cake with custard, and then Orange Pecan Christmas pudding with custard. Absolutely divine. 

RP : None. Didn't bother much with the actual computer, due to being out of the house.

Excercise : Carrying around tables, running to Raja's for foil and cling film, sorting out chairs. But nothing proper.

Period/Mood : Was in a decent mood, until lunch crashed, and then I didn't want to bother at all with people after that. 

 

Day 22 (Sunday - Today) : Boring day of church and videos and watching the Librarians with my younger sister. Going to press onto the second season, so I can start to catch up. I've realised that I really don't care about Agents of Shield, though I really want to watch Jessica Jones.

Food : 

Breakfast : Two slices of leftover BBQ chicken pizza. Just what I needed with a glass of milk.

Lunch : Vegetable soup and German bread. Not the tastiest, the soup looked like green gloop, and the bread was as hard as a rock. Tasted good with butter and cheese though.

Snack : A box of After 8s. I really need to not have food around me if I'm not to eat it.

Dinner : Kimchijigae, and rice. So good, though it wasn't too much, as I am still full from yesterday.

RP : Got a starter and a reply out for Remus, and have started planning for Glenda's episode. 

Excercise : None. Complete lounge day today.

Period/Mood : Chilling, been inspired to do a couple of things, though I really need to stop being indecisive about what to do when I want to procrastinate. Basically, I need to remember my Origin password so I can actually play DA:O and resume my playthrough.

[Girl-Meet-World]

Again, I missed yesterday, but instead of going for three days, I'm just going for two.

 

Day 23 (Monday) : School, had maths tests on differentiation and integration, and I feel alright about them. Especially with how difficult other people found the test as well. Cadets was fun, though people are really emotional. Also got rather annoyed at my dad due to a case of misdirection - and him trying to push it on me and make it a 'lesson' instead of apologising.

Food : 

Breakfast : Did I eat? I think I had a banana smoothie

Lunch : Sausage sandwhich with red peppers and brown bread. Not paleo, but it tasted fabulous

Snack : It was my cake day, so I brought in 28 doughnuts for people. I ate five of them. Then I had two jam doughnuts. The last one did not taste good. Self control gurl!

Dinner : Pasta and mince in tomato sauce. Hurriedly cooked, so not very colourful, though still very tasty.

RP : No one has responded to me on anything yet. Perhaps I should answer memes or write the WNN ep.

Exercise : Cadets, so ran up and down the Hall a bit, and once around the unit to sneak up on some people.

Period/Mood : I was in a good mood today, and wondered at how people could be so moody. Played some witcher, didn't do any homework.

 

Day 24 (Tuesday - Today) : Teacher training day, so I did fuck all. Went on a surprise trip with Calvin to town, cause I texted him about money. Was a nice trip out, and lots of laughs. Then came home and spent five hours wrapping string around balloons for my string lamps. 

Food : Bad day today, really bad. Tomorrow is gonna be super healthy. I looked at myself in the mirror and don't like what I see.

Breakfast : Two bowls of bran flake cereal with milk at 10. Must get rid of cereal from the house.

Lunch : Calvin treated me to Ming Moon - Chinese Buffet in town (because he owed me money) Was delicious, ate two starters, two mains, and a dessert of profiteroles, marshmallows + choco,  and ice cream. Chinese Buffet's are my downfall. Must ask for a second glass of water. 

Snack :Three glasses of shloer.

Dinner : My sister really wanted kebab, so we had donner kebab and chips, of which I could have eaten less.

RP : Answered a couple of memes, and wrote a starter. Still debating the fourth RP chara. Mundungus is so interesting though, and I've already written over half of his app.

Exercise : Walked around town for three hours, then spun balloons for five. However, I should start including a stretching routine in soon. Also, I got Nia Shanks' new Exercise thing, and I'm going to use it for the next 6WC

[Girl-Meet-World]

Every two days. I'm cutting it down, and hopefully one day, I will be able to post every day. I mean, I've managed to keep the habit up for just under a month now. I feel like once I've passed onto the next page I will be able to keep it as a steadfast habit - if not on here then as an actual journal. I do want to start using my many notebooks, and not worry about messing them up or making them ugly. But, a step at a time. Additionally, I CBA for Wednesday, and I can't remember much, probably due to almost finishing Jessica Jones. 

 

Day 26 (Thursday - Today) : Should I keep going with the Day's thing, or drop it? It might be really inspirational once I hit the hundreds, and, urgh fine, I'll keep with it. It's not going to be useful for actual tracking (I need to find a good site to show my stats actually) but more of a motivator. 

Food : Saved myself up for the Christmas party, which had doubled as Calvin's leaving party. /tears

Breakfast : Banana smoothie. Conscious good health choice today, rather than automatic response. I need to get out of this Bran Flake slump. I have asked my dad to stop buying cereal - as it is a huge temptation for me - so hopefully I shall recover.

Lunch : One Kimbap. Perhaps my mother should stop making me so many kimbap.

Snack : Half a seeded bread with butter and jam. I stopped myself halfway through (eating the half of the loaf)

Dinner : Christmas party at Cadets, and Staff Barker is an amazing woman and made us a glorious buffet. Salad, victoria sponge, crisps, three small bread buns with stuff, chicken balls. Three cups of soda, should ask for water next time.

RP : Responded to most of G's drafts. Two left. Have started planning for some of Lucius. Need to respond soon.

Exercise : Walked from cadets to Calvin's house, so for twenty minutes or so. Was a nice walk, will miss him.

[Girl-Meet-World]

Okay, so I haven't posted in forever, and I'm not going to post today. Just to have an update, to say that it is currently Day 33, and I've posted my Challenge Evaulation. There are a bunch of thoughts in my head (Ideas for the next Challenge, comments on the way that my diet influences my health/appearance/gut problems) that I will probably get down very soon. But, catch you later! Time to read the entire new testament before Sunday!

 

Also, I started my period today, so could that be sort of an explanation?

 

Ideas for the next Challenge (even if it is in like 3 weeks, but they have the Rebellion coming soon, which is awesome exciting)

- Fitness and general tracking (to know what I'm doing more accurately)

- Strength (Nia Shanks 6WC?)

- Stretches (general flexibility)

- Language

- Reading/Writing/Photography (I may be making a calendar of my pictures soon, which is exciting)

- Work (First, get a job. Actually work towards this goal)

- Clean room (because I keep neglecting this one)

- Podcast (for an RP, but I've only done two eps so far. Need to start getting that count back up)

- Journaling

- Bullet Journal

- Morning Routine

- etc idk I'll think of more and then struggle between dividing these and picking some to focus on because otherwise I'll burn out

[Girl-Meet-World]

Day 37, and I'm figuring out new systems to get through this holiday, through my mocks, and then through the new year.

 

I started my bullet journal, and it looks really nice, and I have a feeling that it will at least get me through the holidays, after that, well, we'll see how much washi tape I have wasted.

 

Because I have changed systems, it's no longer necessary for me to track my habits on here, as I can add them for each week in the bullet journal (as I have a weekly page). This also applies to my food and my little bits of random journaling that I do at the end of my posts. This means that no matter what, my life quest in the next challenge will be sticking with my journal.

 

On the up side, it means that my Daily Log will become much less necessary (especially with the rumours flying around about the rebellion app thing idk) and I will write more on my Challenge pages. This means increased activity with the community, which is what I am after, after all.

 

So, I shall probably use it more as a weekly update thing, especially for the weeks in which the 6WC isn't happening. However, we shall have to see how it all works out after the holidays, and then mocks as well (sigh).

 

Ideas:

- Bullet Journal

- Morning Yoga

- Nia Shanks 6 week programme

- Revise everyday

 

This is probably going to be my next challenge, though the last point may vary, depending on what comes up. However, I'm pretty certain this is going to be it. I've already implemented the journal and Yoga into my life, so that will run for the next two weeks, until the next 6WC comes out, and I'll bring the other two points back into play.

[Girl-Meet-World]

So, I feel like this has become more of my general inspiration thread, and for keeping track of my thoughts about fitness. No longer do i need to type out every habit I do, and this bullet journal is proving very useful. Perhaps it means more activity in the Challenge Threads?

 

Anyway, the point of this post was to get some ideas for Challenge themes. I keep seeing them everywhere, so I want to come up with a couple of ideas.

- Dragon Age (go through the trilogy?)

- Harry Potter (no-one else seems to be doing this, which is very saddening)

- Discworld (again, very under-represented. Maybe a challenge per setting, eg AnkMorpork, the University, the Library, Granny Weatherwax's house, etc)

- Hitch-hiker's Guide to the Galazy (for that necessary part of sci-fi)

- Marvel (perhaps one for each group? Eg, the Avengers, the X-Men, etc)

- Firefly

- Torchwood?

- Mistborn

- Mass Effect (once I've finished the trilogy)

- Sherlock Holmes

- LotR

 

I may update as more thoughts come along, but who knows. This will last me for quite the while.

[Girl-Meet-World]

Oh wow, I didn't know that I had finally reached the next page! Woopdedo! (That wasn't meant to be as sarcastic as it sounds)

However, I want to do something productive while I sit here acid refluxing at the thought of revising for my exams in a week. /sigh

So, I decided that I'm going to plan out the 4WC. I'm going to be in either the Assassin's or the Rangers, depending on what I actually write here.

So, my first post for my Challenge thread is going to be drafted in the following post!

[Girl-Meet-World]

Girl-Meets-World meets S.H.I.E.L.D.

 

It's 3 AM, and the Avengers are playing human chess in the Tower. 

 

 

It's like normal chess, but each person takes a chess piece, and there's no automatic elimination. Clint and Natasha and wrestling for E6.

 

 

Natasha's just won, and Clint limps off the board, whining as Skye pats him gently on the head.

 

I'm Panda, ready to start training, and become as good as names you hear flung around, the superheroes. I'm here for the new format of the 4 Week Challenge, though some of them will be lasting the course of two challenges. This is going to be semi-themed, based on the variety of people you see pass through the S.H.I.E.L.D halls, but without any actual RPing in it. I do more than enough of that already!

 

 

 

Training Exercise 1 : Steve Rogers

 

This sweet honeybear of goodness and sunshine

 

 

This is a man who's become more than human, stronger, faster, kinder, and he's got the heroism to prove it. Though I'm still merely mortal, I'm going to try to hit as hard as he can. The way to do that is to workout. I'm going to be doing a modified (heavily) version of Nia Shanks' 6 Week Challenge, making it more bodyweight focused. Additionally, due to the time difference, this one will last the next two challenges.

 

Stars : Do the workout 12+ times : STR +3

And : Do the workout 8+ times : STR +2

Stripes : Do the workout 4+ times : STR +1

 

 

 

Training Exercise 2 : Natasha Romanoff

 

She's beauty, she's grace, she'll kick you in the face

 

She may be human, she may have been infected with a version of the Serum. Still, she's deadly, able to use any situation to her advantage, twisting and turning both her mind and body to get where she wants. So, I shall be focusing on her agility, and shall stretch every morning. I'm 18 and to hear my bones crack every time I straighten my back is worrying (probably too long spent hunched over the laptop, searching the NF forums). 

 

The : To do my morning yoga routine 25+ times : DEX +3

Black : To do my morning yoga routine 17+ times : DEX +2

Widow : To do my morning toga routine 10+ times : DEX +1

 

 

 

Training Exercise 3 : Tony Stark

 

So clever, you just need a bit of love

 

 

He does the reading, and he's amazing for it. With a brain that manages to invent a new element in the modern world, his engineering genius is something I want to take ahold of and use for myself. So, I'm going to try. Mocks are literally in a couple of days, and I haven't been very good with revising up to this point. So, this means I'm just going to have to get better at this motivation thing. AS exams, here I come!

 

Iron : Revise 25+ times : WIS +3

'Perfect' : Revise 17+ times : WIS +2

Man : Revise 10+ times : WIS +1

 

 

 

Training Exercise 4 : Melinda May

 

See, she does smile!

 

Melinda May, aka 'The Cavalry', aka The Most BadAss is a short Asian lady who doesn't hesitate to kick butt. However, she also practices Tai Chi, and is the most chill person. She can deal with anything coming her way, no need to get upset about it. I was going to do meditation for her, but I decided to make it about the Bullet Journal, which I start about a week and a half ago. So far, I'm finding it really good for keeping me accountable, so I'm going to use the 4WC as a way of making it a habit.

 

Melinda : Bullet Journal 25+ times : WIS +3

'The Cavalry' : Bullet Journal 17+ times : WIS +2

May : Bullet Journal 10 + times : WIS +1

 

 

 

They all look up, then smile, inviting her into the Tower

 

So that's about it folks! While there is an awful lot of Wisdom points being thrown around, those are the aspects that I need to focus on in real life right now. The fitness is also present, and nutrition was established as a baseline in the previous Challenge. So, here's to hoping that I won't get struck by lighting anytime soon!

[Girl-Meet-World]

I kinda of feel like my personal Challenge started when I wrote the post, and that every day since has been me failing my Challenge, as I've been busy and away. /sigh

I'm going to either the Library or School tomorrow to start revising in earnest (as she tells herself again) for my Mocks. They're in two days and I have done zero revision. I've had an acid feeling in my gut for the past few days over this, and have been unable to sleep without that feeling. My constant bad diet may also be to blame.

[Girl-Meet-World]

More ideas :

I should make an Accountability group or PVP challenge for the next 4WC. I keep stalking the current ones, but not going because they seem to be going onwards very fast, or because they simply don't interest me. So, make one that interests me, with an easy accessibility for those who joined late. Any ideas?

Perhaps I could borrow on the Raid like ideas, and then form a couple of groups depending on the difficulty?