My Story Can't End Like This...

[TheFatFriar]

Hello there!

 

I’m  a 24 year old girl who lives far from where I was supposed to be. Nice to meet you all.

 

Kunmaar is obviously not my real name, it means “hermit†in Dovahzul (the dragon language in Skyrim), well, at least according to the dictionary (I’m still new at learning it). Why? Because I’m basically a modern day hermit.

 

I’ve kind of lived my life backwards so far; when I started college, I was fit, confident and healthy. I had dealt with bullying in both elementary and high schools, but with the help of friends, I gained my confidence back and was totally ready for a new adventure. But then, life happened… By the time I graduated from university, I felt like all the reserves of my energy and willpower had been drained. I still feel like the same way. Sometimes I want to pull myself back together like I did before, but I’m too afraid to do anything. I’m too afraid to work, exercise, or even talk to people. Most of the time I just hide in my room from the rest of the world. I just eat, eat, and eat until it makes me feel good, and not move around much. This is how I’ve been wasting my life for the last 3 years. Long story short, college was the end of a chapter in my life, not the beginning of a new one.

 

I had great friends, we used to support each other in everything, but I lost most of them along the way. The rest kind of accepted me as who I am now, and I’m grateful for that. But I need motivation. I don’t even know how I’m going to find it anymore. I’m quiet overweight and it will be a very long journey. if I’m going to do this, so I need to make sure I have strength to go on before I start.

 

Many people here seem to be achieving great things and writing their own epic adventures. I’m hoping you can inspire me to do the same.

[Big Adam]

Hey Kunmaar.  College was a bad time for me too where I lost a lot of confidence in myself and developed a bunch of bad habits.  I can resonate with that feeling about College being the end of a chapter rather than the beginning of a new one.  The years AFTER college have been the years where I've gotten more confidence, tried more new things, and grown as a person.  Now you've got a chance to do the same and write this new chapter of your life.  I know the feeling of loss at remembering those bad years, but the nice thing about being an adult is that you are in full control of what you do next.

 

Start small with habits you know you can keep up for a long time.  If you haven't been exercising at all, a place to start is just doing SOME movement every day - whether that movement is walking for a few minutes or calisthenics or weight training or whatever.  For diet, pick a small change you can make permanent.  You'll build momentum as you go.  Do you have any particular fitness goals or any types of exercise that you enjoy?

[TheFatFriar]

Start small with habits you know you can keep up for a long time.  If you haven't been exercising at all, a place to start is just doing SOME movement every day - whether that movement is walking for a few minutes or calisthenics or weight training or whatever.  For diet, pick a small change you can make permanent.  You'll build momentum as you go.  Do you have any particular fitness goals or any types of exercise that you enjoy?

 

I don't really like exercising, that's the problem. I'm such a couch potato

 

As for fitness goals, I care more about what I'm capable of rather than how I look. I don't really care what people think about me so motivations like "bikini body," "lose X pounds in X days" doesn't really work on me.  Maybe being stronger, faster, or more flexible could help me be more confident. But I don't know where to start. I'm thinking of combining some strength training with NF yoga, do you think it is a good idea? Or should I go easy on myself and pick just one for the beginning?

[Jack Ryan- Rebel Recruit]

This is my first challenge. I'm so excited to see that you joined the ranks of the Nerds. I was a little bit in the position you're at where historically doing something like committing to Yoga and strength training felt overwhelming and like setting myself up for failure. So in my challenge you will see that I have daily activity and exercise three times a week. I don't yet have an exercise routine it's mostly experimenting or trying a different routine each time it comes due. There's a pretty good chance I will find something by the end of this challenge and we'll set a specific exercise plan next challenge.

I found gamafication helps me. The progress tracker on the misfit was helpful and the moov helps with gamafication. That is mostly irrelevant to you.

What matters is you joined nerd fitness. We're here to support you encourage you and listen to you. I'm following you so if it goes a few days without an update I'll politely remind you that we're buddies.

I suggest you find a couple of people to follow. 6 is working pretty good for me. Reading their stories and seeing how they approach it can give you ideas.

Thanks for putting up with my rambling I'm les versed when I reply on the phone.

( let me know if it help you if I extended small challenges to you)

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[TheFatFriar]

This is my first challenge. I'm so excited to see that you joined the ranks of the Nerds. I was a little bit in the position you're at where historically doing something like committing to Yoga and strength training felt overwhelming and like setting myself up for failure. So in my challenge you will see that I have daily activity and exercise three times a week. I don't yet have an exercise routine it's mostly experimenting or trying a different routine each time it comes due. There's a pretty good chance I will find something by the end of this challenge and we'll set a specific exercise plan next challenge.

I found gamafication helps me. The progress tracker on the misfit was helpful and the moov helps with gamafication. That is mostly irrelevant to you.

What matters is you joined nerd fitness. We're here to support you encourage you and listen to you. I'm following you so if it goes a few days without an update I'll politely remind you that we're buddies.

I suggest you find a couple of people to follow. 6 is working pretty good for me. Reading their stories and seeing how they approach it can give you ideas.

Thanks for putting up with my rambling I'm les versed when I reply on the phone.

( let me know if it help you if I extended small challenges to you)

Sent from my 831C using Tapatalk

 

Thanks for the support, man! I really appreciated your answer. It seems like we have similar goals. I'm trying to change my lifestyle, too, because if I keep eatling like this, it will give me cancer in ten years or so My problem isn't the portion size of the meals or drinking soda etc., I just have a bad habit of buying a lot of junk food everyday and consuming it all at once. It's become an addiction, like smoking (thankfully I hate smoking, that's at least one healthy habit). I want to stop buying junk food, but I don't know how I can slowly reduce it.

 

I loved your challenge by the way. It is simple, reasonable, yet very detailed in some way. I hope you can find an exercise you enjoy.

 

You can surely suggest me some challenges! I'm not very creative when it comes to setting goals

[Big Adam]

If you don't like exercise, then a good goal to start with might be to find something that you like.  Most people think of running on a treadmill when they think of exercise, but there are so many options.  Walking, Biking, Parkour, Yoga, Crossfit, Slacklining, Martial Arts, Team Sports, LARPing, Weightlifting, Bodyweight Exercise, Rockclimbing, that hanging-silks-thing that some girls do..  Walking for X minutes per day is a great place to start if you are unsure of your current abilities.  If you feel comfortable trying some more difficult things, see what groups there are in your town for any of the above activities and just give them a try until you find something that you think is cool.  You'll find something you like.  I've found that I love learning Martial Arts and doing unusual movement things like Parkour.  So I train for those.

 

Diet is the toughest thing for me.  But it's also the most important thing.  I've found success by going mostly Paleo.  That's not necessary for everyone, but it works for me.  You want to stop buying junk food and binge-eating it, right?  Take a look at when you buy junk food.  Do you do it as part of your normal shopping trips or do you go out specifically for junk food when you have a craving?  Or do you buy it on your way back from work or at a specific time each day? If you know when you usually buy junk, you can change up your routine to set yourself up for success.  If you aren't sure when this happens, start by keeping a journal of when you buy food you don't want to eat.  Once you know your patterns, you can start implementing more helpful habits.

[lisawho]

Hey Kunmaar!

I totally relate to all you just said, especially not having motivation. It's really hard, wanting to do better but not really having any motivation to do so. I'm new here, but I think posting here is a great first step!

Starting small is probably a good idea. Maybe set yourself a couple small goals, like being able to do 5 push-ups or touch your toes, or whatever seems good to you! Strength training and yoga would be a good combo.

I'm also way too familiar with binging on junk food :/ it's such a hard habit to break - if I have it in my apartment, I'll eat it. Trying to stick to a budget has helped me a little with that. It makes me think more carefully about what I'm buying, so I'm a little less likely to buy junk food. And prioritizing veggies has also helped me. If I make myself eat a serving of veggies before I eat any junk food, there's a better chance that I'll be able to avoid the junk food entirely.

You got this. We're here for you

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[TheFatFriar]

If you don't like exercise, then a good goal to start with might be to find something that you like.  Most people think of running on a treadmill when they think of exercise, but there are so many options.  Walking, Biking, Parkour, Yoga, Crossfit, Slacklining, Martial Arts, Team Sports, LARPing, Weightlifting, Bodyweight Exercise, Rockclimbing, that hanging-silks-thing that some girls do..  Walking for X minutes per day is a great place to start if you are unsure of your current abilities.  If you feel comfortable trying some more difficult things, see what groups there are in your town for any of the above activities and just give them a try until you find something that you think is cool.  You'll find something you like.  I've found that I love learning Martial Arts and doing unusual movement things like Parkour.  So I train for those.

 

Diet is the toughest thing for me.  But it's also the most important thing.  I've found success by going mostly Paleo.  That's not necessary for everyone, but it works for me.  You want to stop buying junk food and binge-eating it, right?  Take a look at when you buy junk food.  Do you do it as part of your normal shopping trips or do you go out specifically for junk food when you have a craving?  Or do you buy it on your way back from work or at a specific time each day? If you know when you usually buy junk, you can change up your routine to set yourself up for success.  If you aren't sure when this happens, start by keeping a journal of when you buy food you don't want to eat.  Once you know your patterns, you can start implementing more helpful habits.

 

I was a martial artist, too, before completely shutting myself out, I mean. One of the reasons I want to gain my confidence back is to be able to return to my martial arts training. What martial art do you practice? I don't think I can go back now, unfortunately, because being around people just makes things worse for me. I tried and it didn't go well. My fitness level isn't high enough for it yet, and I don't want to test it again in other people's presence any time soon. So I'll stick around with individual sports for now. I'm planning to give yoga a try.

 

I tend to binge eat while I'm stressed, but sometimes cravings happen randomly as well. For example, I wake up one morning I find myself obsessed about chocolate, chips, or something specific like that. I go out just to buy it. Lots of it. If I'm at the supermarket for a usual shopping, I don't get the craving. Most of the time I don't even think about it. I just pick the items and go straight to the checkout.

 

Hey Kunmaar!

I totally relate to all you just said, especially not having motivation. It's really hard, wanting to do better but not really having any motivation to do so. I'm new here, but I think posting here is a great first step!

Starting small is probably a good idea. Maybe set yourself a couple small goals, like being able to do 5 push-ups or touch your toes, or whatever seems good to you! Strength training and yoga would be a good combo.

I'm also way too familiar with binging on junk food :/ it's such a hard habit to break - if I have it in my apartment, I'll eat it. Trying to stick to a budget has helped me a little with that. It makes me think more carefully about what I'm buying, so I'm a little less likely to buy junk food. And prioritizing veggies has also helped me. If I make myself eat a serving of veggies before I eat any junk food, there's a better chance that I'll be able to avoid the junk food entirely.

You got this. We're here for you

 

Thanks, and congratulations on your first step. If you need motivation, you can always ask me for help! Anytime! Yes, binge-eating is hard to break, for me because I'm not exactly sure where to start cutting off.  The bugdet thing seems like a great idea, because I'm trying to save money. Today I also tried to get my daily dose of junk food at breakfast: Some nutella on whole-grain bread and a banana. Of course it's high in calories, but at least I only ate a reasonable amount and it's been keeping me satiated so far (it's 15.00 PM here and I'm doing just fine). I ate some home cooked pasta (again I know it's high in calories, but I feel full at least) for lunch. Hopefully I'll discover something that works for me.

[Jack Ryan- Rebel Recruit]

How was yesterday? I played with different budgeting tools Quicken, mint, and Excel sheets. I strongly recommend YNAB.

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[TheFatFriar]

How was yesterday? I played with different budgeting tools Quicken, mint, and Excel sheets. I strongly recommend YNAB.

Sent from my 831C using Tapatalk

 

Yesterday went well, today I followed the same routine and I haven't had any junk food cravings. I think "having a daily dose of junk food in the morning" does the trick, eh? Thanks for the suggestions, but my bank's mobile app works great for me as a budgeting tool. Try checking out yours! Now I'll set a weekly limit, like 10$, for junk food. I've also signed up for NF academy yesterday, I wasn't even planning that! Also, I'm a bit late for the current challenge, but I'll definitely participate in the next one. Until then, I'll try to figure out what kind of exercise routine works for me.

 

Thanks for the support

[Jack Ryan- Rebel Recruit]

Glad to hear.

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[Toshimi]

Yesterday went well, today I followed the same routine and I haven't had any junk food cravings. I think "having a daily dose of junk food in the morning" does the trick, eh? Thanks for the suggestions, but my bank's mobile app works great for me as a budgeting tool. Try checking out yours! Now I'll set a weekly limit, like 10$, for junk food. I've also signed up for NF academy yesterday, I wasn't even planning that! Also, I'm a bit late for the current challenge, but I'll definitely participate in the next one. Until then, I'll try to figure out what kind of exercise routine works for me.

 

Thanks for the support

 

 

Never too late for the challenges (but I totally understand wanting to wait as well) 

 

There are lots of things you can try out on youtube if you want to play around with different types of exercising. 

 

Even if you don't join the challenges, would love it if you stopped by the Monks Courtyard! I'm sure many of them would have some suggestions for getting back into things!

[Gogor]

In your own name you can find strength:

 

 

and also, in the latest post:

 

http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2015/11/30/a-fitness-epic-your-story-of-love-health-and-self-discovery/

 

best of luck & keep on keeping on!

[Jack Ryan- Rebel Recruit]

Watching for an update. We are excitedly cheering you on!

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[TheFatFriar]

Watching for an update. We are excitedly cheering you on!

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Thanks for asking, Vizzini, I always appreciate the support

 

I'm currently tracking my food (yes, even when I binge-eat), so at least I will have an idea on where to start cutting off. But I realized even when I binge-eat, I eat less now that I have to write it down. Other than that, I'm trying to take a short walk outside everyday, and on the days I can't go out (like today) I do a quick aerobic exercise at home. I'm hoping to maintain this routine until the next challenge. Hope you'll be joining, too?

[Big Adam]

Thanks for asking, Vizzini, I always appreciate the support

 

I'm currently tracking my food (yes, even when I binge-eat), so at least I will have an idea on where to start cutting off. But I realized even when I binge-eat, I eat less now that I have to write it down. Other than that, I'm trying to take a short walk outside everyday, and on the days I can't go out (like today) I do a quick aerobic exercise at home. I'm hoping to maintain this routine until the next challenge. Hope you'll be joining, too?

Awesome.  These are great starting goals.  I think you'll be surprised at the good results that come from these little changes.

[Jack Ryan- Rebel Recruit]

Thanks for asking, Vizzini, I always appreciate the support

I'm currently tracking my food (yes, even when I binge-eat), so at least I will have an idea on where to start cutting off. But I realized even when I binge-eat, I eat less now that I have to write it down.Hope you'll be joining, too?

Awesome the just tracking is reducing. Yes I'll definitely be in the next challenge I'm excited for it then I'll keep the following you.

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[TheFatFriar]

Awesome the just tracking is reducing. Yes I'll definitely be in the next challenge I'm excited for it then I'll keep the following you.

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Great! I've added you so I can see when you start your new challenge thread.

[TheGreyJedi-Ranger]

Honestly, those are excellent starting goals. Every little bit helps. 

 

I completely understand the binge eating thing... I'm on my third challenge and I'm still trying to figure it out (though this is the first challenge where I've been ready to address it). But I've gotten better over the past few months. First, I stopped eating dinner out so often, which helped a TON because I was forced to rely on the food I had with me in the house (which is normally fairly healthy). The problem is that I've started to get to the point where I scrounge for ANYTHING high calorie. Most of the time I eat well, but I tend to have binge issues. 

 

That breakfast actually seems yummy! I tend to have protein (eggs, cheese sticks, yoghurt, ect.), some fruit, and a piece of my homemade bread that I bake weekly.

[TheFatFriar]

Honestly, those are excellent starting goals. Every little bit helps. 

 

I completely understand the binge eating thing... I'm on my third challenge and I'm still trying to figure it out (though this is the first challenge where I've been ready to address it). But I've gotten better over the past few months. First, I stopped eating dinner out so often, which helped a TON because I was forced to rely on the food I had with me in the house (which is normally fairly healthy). The problem is that I've started to get to the point where I scrounge for ANYTHING high calorie. Most of the time I eat well, but I tend to have binge issues. 

 

That breakfast actually seems yummy! I tend to have protein (eggs, cheese sticks, yoghurt, ect.), some fruit, and a piece of my homemade bread that I bake weekly.

 

Yep, I totally get you. The food I keep in my house is quiet healthy actually. But I either order a fast food menu online, or go to the supermarket and buy some chocolate and candies... That breakfast is indeed turned out to be very delicious, I'll also try it with kiwi fruit, and coconut shreds.

 

Another thing is, I stopped eating while watching movies or TV shows. Instead of eaching a bunch of bars of chocolate today, I only bought one (normally I buy at least two) and I just focused on eating it. While eating, I only focused on my hatred against my bullies at the college. It wasn't intentional, I just found myself thinking of them, and by the time I finished eating, I felt full, as if I had eaten tons of it! I'm an emotional eater, so this really is a progress. Food works not as only physical, but also an emotional fuel for me. I really need to eat something satisfying everytime before I have to tolerate other people's presence. I'm a graduate student, luckly I only have to go to school once a week this semester, but every week, before the class and during the break, I secretly eat chocolate in a corner, it seems like the only way I can preserve my sanity around others. But I ate three bars during yesterday's class. Next week I'll only buy one pack of chocolate and eat half of it before the class starts, and the other half during the break.

[TheGreyJedi-Ranger]

Yep, I totally get you. The food I keep in my house is quiet healthy actually. But I either order a fast food menu online, or go to the supermarket and buy some chocolate and candies... That breakfast is indeed turned out to be very delicious, I'll also try it with kiwi fruit, and coconut shreds.

 

Another thing is, I stopped eating while watching movies or TV shows. Instead of eaching a bunch of bars of chocolate today, I only bought one (normally I buy at least two) and I just focused on eating it. While eating, I only focused on my hatred against my bullies at the college. It wasn't intentional, I just found myself thinking of them, and by the time I finished eating, I felt full, as if I had eaten tons of it! I'm an emotional eater, so this really is a progress. Food works not as only physical, but also an emotional fuel for me. I really need to eat something satisfying everytime before I have to tolerate other people's presence. I'm a graduate student, luckly I only have to go to school once a week this semester, but every week, before the class and during the break, I secretly eat chocolate in a corner, it seems like the only way I can preserve my sanity around others. But I ate three bars during yesterday's class. Next week I'll only buy one pack of chocolate and eat half of it before the class starts, and the other half during the break.

That's a great idea I am mostly just super stress prone and I eat more when I'm upset or stressed. 

 

Maybe try either dark chocolate or a chocolate that's so rich that you can't eat a lot? My favorite chocolate is Cadbury Dairy Milk, but I can't eat more than a few squares because it's so rich and sweet. 

[TheFatFriar]

That's a great idea I am mostly just super stress prone and I eat more when I'm upset or stressed. 

 

Maybe try either dark chocolate or a chocolate that's so rich that you can't eat a lot? My favorite chocolate is Cadbury Dairy Milk, but I can't eat more than a few squares because it's so rich and sweet. 

 

I tried dark chocolate before, didn't work much for me I guess in my case being physically full is irrelevant, if I'm angry, or upset, my stomach becomes infinite or something I've never heard of Cadbury Dairy Milk before, but that's probably because I don't live in the U.S.

 

Oh, and I loved your idea of Star Wars-themed challenge! May the force be with you!

[TheGreyJedi-Ranger]

I tried dark chocolate before, didn't work much for me I guess in my case being physically full is irrelevant, if I'm angry, or upset, my stomach becomes infinite or something I've never heard of Cadbury Dairy Milk before, but that's probably because I don't live in the U.S.

It's actually British chocolate, I found it when I went on a mission trip to the UK and it's delicious. Most people in the US don't know much about it either

[TheFatFriar]

Sorry, I assumed it was American, but I haven't been in Britain, either. I'll keep it in mind if I go on a trip to UK some day

[TheGreyJedi-Ranger]

Sorry, I assumed it was American, but I haven't been in Britain, either. I'll keep it in mind if I go on a trip to UK some day

It's a fair assumption, I'm American myself so it would make sense :