Surgical reboot

[outsinging]

Greetings Nerds,

 

I joined about a year ago and was mildly successful. I've had a long tough year and I'm having trouble getting back on the train.  Through family genetics I was found to have a BRCA 1 gene mutation and with my family history I was given a 68% chance of getting ovarian cancer and a 92% chance of getting breast cancer. I'm very pro-active so in the last year I've had a full hysterectomy and double mastectomy AND my reconstruction. I didn't want to live the rest of my life (I'm 39) looking over my shoulder because with those odds it's not "IF" I would get cancer, but "WHEN."

 

Between hysterectomy and mastectomy surgeries I recovered and went ape-sh** working out my upper body. Healing time is reduced by being in good shape. After the mastectomy I was dying to get my full range of motion back and was doing my therapy exercises every day. I went to the pool almost every day to help increase certain movement with less gravity. I was really workin' it. 

 

But after a while I started decreasing all my work because I became over-whelmed by the idea that I had yet another surgery (reconstruction) which should be the last but would once again take me back to that place of minimal range of motion, no strength, and prolonged discomfort. And so I basically gave-up and have been stuck there in this depression which was "why bother you're going to be pulled back down again" but now it's "I just don't feel like it." 

 

My husband, God bless him, has expressed great concern and has tried to help me, but I currently have an attitude problem. I know I do, I just can't seem to get over myself. I could not have done this whole year without him and I feel bad that he's watching me in a place with all the surgery behind me and no motivation to improve myself.

 

I'm trying to reboot myself. Maybe the nerds can help, you have in the past. I wanted to be on American Ninja Warrior, now....I'm working on it....sort-of....

 

I'm starting my questing all over again, back to square one.  Writing a new "WHY" story, putting a barrier in front of bad habits and making good habits easier. I'm planning on starting all over in hopes that even though right now I'm forcing myself to do it I'll get to the point where I'm proud that I am doing it. It's helped me before. 

 

I wanted to buy a couple of tee-shirts but I can't seem to find a nerd fitness store to get them.  I wanted to put them in good motivational places and wear them on my walks.

 

Thanks for giving me a place to lay it all out there and hopefully get a boost in the right direction.

 

 

[Tyburn Lil]

I wanted to send some random christmas hugs your way, I hope you've manage to find the strength to hold on and push through. 

No idea where a decent t-shirt store would be, there seems to be a lass selling some triceratops ones through facebook, but someone else would be better to direct you there. 

Anyway, as it sounds you need a random fellow motivator I hope you don't mind me stalking you

 

*Invisible zen calorie free cupcakes*

[Raincloak]

Does having a mastectomy mean you can go shirtless now?  Because I kind of secretly always wanted to do that.  (I have a healthy rack, so I can't get away with it, but I would totally pump other ladies for doing so.)