Koaladle

[Lady Hawk]

Thinking about you lots! Even though I won't be online for extra notes, know that you're in my thoughts hugs!!

[ixaera]

Hope you are doing well~

[Mr_Willes]

Seconding Ixaera!

 

Hang in there, these are the crappy parts of life, but nevertheless part of it...

[insanity]

I just got off the phone with my mom. Her dad, who very suddenly fell ill, was given about two weeks. It's hitting me pretty hard that I can't be there to give him a hug and say goodbye. I asked Mom to give him my ship blanket (it has the crest of USS Last Ship; he was really proud when I joined the Navy and about busted when I was stationed on that particular vessel), and he seemed pretty happy about getting a "Koaladle hug". This is going to be the third funeral in less than a year for that side of the family; my mom's only sister, then her mom, and soon her dad. My mom is holding herself together remarkably well, but I'll be flying out next month because hugs are better in person.

 

I'll hit the 5,000 steps before bed and call it a night. HH was a superhero--he went out to grab food and instead of coming back with what he wanted to get (read: 2,000 calories with the bag fries alone), he brought black bean soup and a couple of sammiches from Panera. Plus, he helped with the dishes so that I could focus on getting the laundry done, and I am proud to say I'm almost finished folding everything. I was really active on the DR front, even though my fitbit would argue otherwise.

 

Anyway, I may not be particularly chatty for a while. Of the three family tragedies this year, this one is hitting the hardest. I allowed bitterness between my grandma and myself to go on for too long, which in turn interfered with having a relationship with my grandpa. Over the last few months we talked almost every week, but I wasted too much time being angry. 

 

 

But I guess it isn't all bad.

 

 

He won't feel like this for much longer.

Ouch...that hurts...a lot. If you need someone to talk to feel free to PM me, I've been in that same situation,and then some. All you can really do is keep putting one foot in front of the other.

[Koaladle]

Grandpa died yesterday. I've been going between the extremes of doing all the things and then crashing and curling up into a ball. I'm managing to make okayish decisions with food, but there was a startling trend of going an entire day without eating anything. I know that backtracking is absolutely NOT what he would want for me, so when I crash I make sure that the at-hand snack is something vegetable-like. We got pizza yesterday because there was no way I was going to cook, but also because HH made it to the top 200 players in Diablo. Traditionally, we get pizza to celebrate major gaming victories; considering that he's been so thoughtful with our lazy dinner options lately, I figured it was time to compromise in his favor. However, we just went grocery shopping and have a lot of food to eat before I travel to the funeral. 

 

I'm going to do my best to make all the quests this week. I tallied up the water, veggies, steps, and number of times I did yoga at the end of each week; each category has seen improvement over the course of this month, and I don't intend to see that slide. He's my grandpa, not an excuse.

 

Also, I made a decision about silly carb-ey foods: if they're in the house, it's because I made them. I used up cream, berries, and pie crusts in the fridge so they didn't go bad, and made these super stellar single serving pies--which took five ingredients. I also made ice cream (two ingredients), and when I was planning Taco Night this week, I discovered that homemade tortillas have just five ingredients. I don't plan on eating any of these things very often, but I when I thought about buying the alternatives from the store, it actually grossed me out.

 

For instance:

 

 

...but if you give me an hour at home, it's literally just flour, lard, salt, and water. I mean, the label breaks down flour and what's probably a Crisco equivelent, and the amount of preservatives are less than 2% in a serving, but somehow I'm perturbed that "dough conditioners" even appears. >.> 

 

Anyway, thank you for your kind wishes. I've passed them on to my mom, who is confuzzled about the inner workings of the Intarnebs, but appreciative of the compassionate folks at the other end. I'll post challenge status at the end of the day. Days have been logged on my calendar but I'll start it back up with today and move on from there.

[ixaera]

I'm glad you're taking at least some time for ball-curling. It's important coping. <3 <3 <3 <3 sending many positive thoughts your way to help make the grief a little more bearable. Imagine each ascii heart as a tiny koala hug.

 

He's not an excuse, you're right, and sometimes the best way to cope is to just push through and keep on with life as usual, but that ball-curling definitely has its time and place. If you need to cocoon for a while, I doubt anyone would question that decision. (If you need to, not suggesting you should, everyone grieves in their own way ofc.)

 

Congrats to the HH! Diablo is a fun game, but I got bored with the click n loot early on. Good memories there, though. I like your homemade carb idea! If anything, it'll improve the taste of carbs you eat cuz MOAR FRESH

[dancezwithkittehz]

HUUUUUUGSSSS. 

 

I am so sorry to hear about your grandpa. Losing loved ones is so hard.

 

All the <3 for you

[Jayniana Jones]

Sorry to hear about your grandpa. It sounds like you have a reasonable strategy for moving forward with your goals. Be gentle on yourself.

[Koaladle]

20JAN

 

Moderation: Meh. Got pointless carbs in with soda and wine, wasn't stellar with vegetation, and water is low. Did stop eating when I was no longer hungry, though. My pushups may be wimpy but my fork put-downs are getting a lot better.

 

Movement: Got the steps done, but didn't do yoga because for some reason I can't log into NFY or NFA. I've emailed tech support about this issue before, and it's apparently a common problem. -.- I got really frustrated with the NFY issue and combusted instead of pursuing an alternative.

[Koaladle]

Oh! And I told HH about the homemade carb idea, and he was all about it. The mini pies have been a huge hit, and he's been telling his buddies my recipes on teamspeak. The only thing he was concerned about was bread, but on the other hand he really doesn't eat bread to begin with.

 

Now, back to hiding in my box fort. 

[Koaladle]

21JAN

Moderation: Yogurt for breakfast, then HH brought home a terrible and scrumptious substance  called "chicken fries" for lunch, which were followed by six carrots and leftovers from last night. Pretty much avoided silly carbs, magically enough. Water is low, not sure why. Will drink more before going to bed.

 

Movement: I can't get a precise number because there is something going on with the Fitbit app. -.- Number is probably low due to planning a trip to the funeral.

[Koaladle]

Sad cat diary. It's important.

 

[Jayniana Jones]

I totally have to show this video to my grandma. She has an evil kitty, but maybe the kitty is simply misunderstood.

Take care of yourself as you journey about.

[awesomesue]

Thinking of you and your family.

[Lady Hawk]

Sending super big hugs! Glad you've been able to hold on to your goals as well as you have. You've definitely got a lot of support here! And you're always welcome to PM me too thinking about your lots!

HUGS!!!

[kcaleece]

Hello friend! Sorry I've been a bit distant lately, but I hope you're hanging in there. Sending you and yours lots of hugs and good thoughts!

[InPursuitOf]

you've made such awesome progress!!!

[awesomesue]

Worried about you and checking in.  

[ixaera]

[Koaladle]

I am alive; we just got back from an excruciating road trip to get back to California to grieve with the family and also move out of the storage unit. I am beat. Fortunately, I don't want to look at junk food again for a long time. I'll post a challenge for the rest of February tomorrow after I have some time to recover. HH and I are both totally wiped out.

[Jayniana Jones]

That's a long trek. Glad you are back. I was worried you. 

[Koaladle]

FEBRUARY CHALLENGE

 

Moderation: The Diet Goal

I've gotten pretty good at leaving the junk food alone (the roadtrip was challenging, but even then I was either looking or asking for the better option), so instead of focusing on shutting it out entirely (unsustainable--bread is delicious) I'm going to focus on increasing my vegetation intake. Fluids have been consistently good so I won't be tracking those here. I want to eat at least three different fruits and vegetables during the day, preferably at least one per meal. 

 

Movement: The Exercise Goal

I must walk at least 6,000 steps every day and complete at least one of the following: yoga, an additional 5,000 steps, or a weight workout. I can do it, I just need to make it a priority.

 

Rules:

1) Every day must be logged both on my wall calendar and here, preferably on that day. Accountability has been the key to my success so far, but I'll allow for a little wiggle room--if I don't get online, it HAS to be logged on my calendar.

 

2) Updates will be in this color for easy navigation.

 

3) This starts at 2359 on 11FEB16, and ends on 2359 on 29FEB16.

 

4) Quests with >80%  success may be repeated; I will use my best judgement discerning between stubborn habit and future sustainability.

 

5) March challenge will be posted by 2359 on 29FEB16.

[insanity]

Oh hai!

[ixaera]

You are back!!~

[Mr_Willes]

Good to see you kicking again!