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Mir tries to slink in unnoticed, rolls 1, falls over self


Morrigainz

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One thought to start you off.  When we met you and Mr Mir, we (Mrs Wildross and I) were struck by how our personalities matched up (me to him and her to you.  Mrs Wildross has often described me as the rock that tethers her down so she can fly around like a kite or a balloon, but not get lost.

 

Which could be interpreted as I'm a deadweight...but I understand what she means.

That's such a nice thought :) 

Main Quest: becoming a decent kettlebell lifter and a great coach

Current challenge: KB Girl gets her bujo back

my instagram - my gym's instagram

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Hokay. So.

 

Lots of thoughts this morning - let's see if I can remember them and organize them into a somewhat cohesive ramble.

 

Thought 1

 

Of all the things in my life that are out of control and I need/want to work on fixing, one of them stood out from the others - booze. At this point it has become customary for me to drink every day. Sometimes just a drink, but I've been on a wine/champagne kick, and I'll typically drink a half a bottle a day, sometimes a whole bottle if I start early enough on the weekends. This is both the easiest and the hardest, and it's also the most important for my physical and mental health as well as my wallet. I am going to drastically decrease the amount I drink. I'm not quite sure what this looks like yet, but I bought some club soda yesterday for my club soda/lime juice/bitters mixture. It's a good replacement - fizzy, not too sweet, and without caffeine. 

 

I'm thinking I might institute a "drink only at special events/when going out with friends" policy. This will also allow me to cope with my I-hate-work stress in a healthier way (well...in theory).

 

Days without drinks: 1

 

Thought 2

 

It's hard to know where to draw the line between gettin' on with my bad self and having a modicum of organization. There are so many things in my life that are disorganized...like...everything (except the car keys and the meds!). I both loathe and crave structure and routine. So somehow I need to build in small things to make my life easier. As it is, I have shoes all over, and coats all over, and things stay where I've used them, or taken them off, or dropped them. For some people, this may seem a silly challenge. Just clean something up when you're done with it! But for me, between the depression and the ADHD, it's an onerous and almost impossible task. I bought a "crap basket" so when things get overwhelming in one room, I just throw it all in the basket for later sorting, but then of course I can't find my cuticle nippers, and so I end up emptying the basket all over the floor again, and jeez, they aren't even in there, where the heck are they? And of course the stuff doesn't go back in the basket but stays on the floor until things become overwhelming again.

 

I am not making this up. (Unlike Dave Barry, I'm actually not making this up.)

 

The Adderall helps - I take it and BOOM! I can knit all day. Or spend 3 hours cleaning the banister. Or clean out and organize my junk drawer in the vanity. But without structure or routine, the boost I get goes to waste.

 

But like I said above....I want to be comfortable being me. So how do I make my life easier AND happier?

 

Thought 3

 

Another thing that concerns me is my level (or lack thereof) of physical fitness. It's definitely worse than I thought. I get winded to the point of passing out/nausea climbing 7 flights of stairs - slowly. (I decided recently that I would start taking the stairs at work instead of the elevator, and that was a mistake. I think it lasted 3 days. That's how I know this.) I'm having issues with my SI joint on the reg. I had cancelled my gym membership in the spring when I knew I was going to be off work for a while, and I've delayed renewing for several reasons (paying back emergency savings, Christmas, needing to assess the impact of lower income, etc). I also wanted to rethink the whole gym thing. But I'm not having much luck coming up with a genius plan.

 

Before I go back and start lifting heavy things again, I want to start doing my PT exercises every day. I have that as a short term goal on my motivation/mindfulness mirror. I haven't been successful. Akrasia, I suppose. I've been thinking I might do that and some yoga first thing when I get up. More on that later, maybe.

 

Thought 4

 

This job is killing me. It is especially killing my spirit. When you work in a giant bureaucracy, it's hard to get your awesome and crazy ideas recognized as legitimate. So, I'm thinking maybe I need a new plan. I have approximately 35 weeks until I'm fully vested in my 401k, so if I can hold out, it seems silly to abandon ship before then. It makes me feel dumb for taking time off (even though it was much needed), because if I hadn't taken it, I'd be vested by now and feel less stuck.

 

In the meantime, I'm trying to think of things that will make my time here more bearable. There's not much. I've personalized my workspace quite a bit, but it doesn't change the fact that it smells like a crayon factory, and....well, this is a public forum so I shouldn't say more.

 

As a tangent/addendum to this thought, I'm still/again having trouble making it in on a regular basis. I set up a reward system (a "Get the Fuck to Work" jar) but it's been of limited helpfulness. I've changed how I'm using it (I have a very specific reward in mind once I save up enough bucks), so we'll see if that makes a difference, but I'm not hopeful. I just ran a report on my hours since I've returned. I made it 6 weeks without calling in when I first came back...since then, I've had one pay period without using any sick time...and I'm pretty sure I pulled a "working from home" for at least one of those days. I don't know, maybe it's not as bad as it seems. I just....need to show up. I've been thinking about ramping up my hours a bit with the end goal of getting back to 40 (which would also help me get to my vesting goal earlier), but if I can't even work 32 hours consistently....???

 

Okay, maybe I need some opinions. I'll post my hours below. My reduced schedule is designated as "plan A", which means I can reduce my work schedule by 16 hours a pay period - most people do it like I am, and do 8 hours/week. Sick leave is SKLV, and vacation is ANLV. Holidays are obviously HOL1.

 

PPE 10/10/15

 

REG1: 46

SKLV: 2  ??? Hmm. Oh I think I had a migraine and went home early.

Total: 48 (this is less than 80 because I went back Oct 1, midweek)

 

PPE 10/24/15

 

REG1: 65

PLNA: 15

Total: 80

 

PPE 11/07/15

 

REG1: 64

PLNA: 16

Total: 80

 

PPE 11/21/15

 

REG1: 40.5

ANLV: 8

SKLV: 7.5

HOL1: 8

PLNA: 16

Total: 80

 

PPE 12/05/15

 

REG1: 45

SKLV: 8

HOL1: 16

PLNA: 11

Total: 80

 

PPE 12/19/15

 

REG1: 68

PLNA: 12

Total: 80

 

PPE 01/02/16

 

REG1: 32

HOL1: 32

PLNA: 16

Total: 80

 

And this week I wasn't here Tuesday (pinched nerve, but was that just an excuse? IDK). But I'm planning to come in tomorrow to at least make up for it a little.

Level ? Half-Dwarf/Half-Amazon Warrior

STR:21.25 STA:15 DEX: 10.95 CON: 14 WIS:15.5 CHA:17

SWOLE BUCKS: 1

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

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Hokay. So.

 

Lots of thoughts this morning - let's see if I can remember them and organize them into a somewhat cohesive ramble.

 

Thought 1

 

Of all the things in my life that are out of control and I need/want to work on fixing, one of them stood out from the others - booze. At this point it has become customary for me to drink every day. Sometimes just a drink, but I've been on a wine/champagne kick, and I'll typically drink a half a bottle a day, sometimes a whole bottle if I start early enough on the weekends. This is both the easiest and the hardest, and it's also the most important for my physical and mental health as well as my wallet. I am going to drastically decrease the amount I drink. I'm not quite sure what this looks like yet, but I bought some club soda yesterday for my club soda/lime juice/bitters mixture. It's a good replacement - fizzy, not too sweet, and without caffeine. 

 

I'm thinking I might institute a "drink only at special events/when going out with friends" policy. This will also allow me to cope with my I-hate-work stress in a healthier way (well...in theory).

 

Days without drinks: 1

 

 

My boyfriend and I are doing the same thing with drinking - both taking an extended break. I love love love wine, but I need to take a break to make sure my training is on point, and he needs to take a break to make sure he can focus on law school. Right there with you, girl. <3

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For Thought 2: I has thoughts.

 

I would pick one thing - shoes, coats, bathroom things (cuticle clippers? - I've only seen those at nail salons), and try to be neater with those.

 

I feel like everyone says to do that, and then when it becomes a habit, pick something else. That doesn't work for me, I can only do 2 'goals' maximum, so don't beat yourself up about it.

For me, I am less stressed when:

1) No dirty laundry is on the floor

2) No dishes are in the sink

Depression makes it harder, but I find when I'm depressed, and am too tired/exhausted/mentally unstable to do things like hang up my jeans when I take them off, putting them on the floor only makes it worse, because then I get mad at myself for not having the energy to put them away like a normal person. So I either muster up whatever I need to hang them up, or they go in the hamper and I have to wash them before I wear them again (aka, postpone problem for later). And sometimes, washing dishes helps. A thing I did! That I didn't mess up! Or I did mess up, but then I threw everything in the dishwasher and turned it on, and now they're clean anyway! Idk how your depression makes you feel, but sometimes accomplishing something helps me.

 

My roommate:

1) Bathroom counter is clean

2) Kitchen floor is swept

 

My SO:

1) No piles of paper on desk/floor/wherever

2) Nothing on floor in the living room

 

So we work around that kind of stuff when we can. I definitely know the feeling of: "omg, this is so bad I don't even know where to start". Typically, I make sure my two things are done, and help others with their stuffs if I can. Then, when we have time and energy (after finals), only then do we worry about things like vacuuming.

 

Chore lists could help with the "I have three hours of focus! What do I do?!?!?!?!" But I don't have any direct experience with that, soo..... I'm currently trying to make a google doc of things the SO and I want to get done more regularly, but just forget about (i.e. vacuuming, sweeping, the things we don't notice until they're bad). There are some good ones online I could point you to if you want.

 

Apologies if none of this is helpful. You do you!

Goal: Deadlift a (Female) Wookie (100 kg): 65.8%

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It's session time so my brain is not functional. 

 

So, I will leave you with this: 

 

130_catsheep_cat_gifs.gif

 

and also this, which is a portrait of you: 

 

Sheep%20knitting.gif

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"I'm just going to remember to not eat like an asshole most of the time" - MoC

three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: one must squat.- Brobert Frost
 Half-Elf Warrior | Current Challenge
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Special thanks to AkLulu for drawing my awesome avatar!

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You could use the time and money you save from booze to buy yarn and other knitting supplies and other things you need to get your etsy shop going. That way you turn a bad habit into a good one (that could make you more booze money down the road).

 

So as usual your battle with depression echoes my own. I quit grad school at the end of summer, am now back home, working a semi-crappy job to unfuck my life, and, AND, get this, trying to get back into painting and building a web business on that. I'm making progress and have fewer depression days, so there's plenty of hope.

 

Good luck!

 

Also, pics of knitting projects plz!

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Currtent Challenge
Previously known as: Curl Brogo, Darwins_Demon, Vincent Van Bro

2020 Respawn Battle Log || Tarly's Ten Level Nutrition Plan

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Weight Loss Quest: Start 270 lbs., Goal 199 lbs., Current 270 lbs., Waist: ,45.0 in., Bodyfat%: 33%

 

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Thought 2

 

It's hard to know where to draw the line between gettin' on with my bad self and having a modicum of organization. There are so many things in my life that are disorganized...like...everything (except the car keys and the meds!). I both loathe and crave structure and routine. So somehow I need to build in small things to make my life easier. As it is, I have shoes all over, and coats all over, and things stay where I've used them, or taken them off, or dropped them. For some people, this may seem a silly challenge. Just clean something up when you're done with it! But for me, between the depression and the ADHD, it's an onerous and almost impossible task. I bought a "crap basket" so when things get overwhelming in one room, I just throw it all in the basket for later sorting, but then of course I can't find my cuticle nippers, and so I end up emptying the basket all over the floor again, and jeez, they aren't even in there, where the heck are they? And of course the stuff doesn't go back in the basket but stays on the floor until things become overwhelming again.

 

I am not making this up. (Unlike Dave Barry, I'm actually not making this up.)

 

The Adderall helps - I take it and BOOM! I can knit all day. Or spend 3 hours cleaning the banister. Or clean out and organize my junk drawer in the vanity. But without structure or routine, the boost I get goes to waste.

 

But like I said above....I want to be comfortable being me. So how do I make my life easier AND happier?

It doesn't seem silly at all. I am not suffering from depression or ADHD and i'm struggling with the same things. I don't have any simple solutions (of course) but I can offer a story of how it is for me now, several steps ahead of you.

If you look back through my challenges you'll see lots of goals focused on this, which I would ALWAYS without exception completely fail at. Yet, when I look around now... my kitchen counters are clear, my laundry is where it is supposed to and my toilet doesn't scare away the average college dude. My mom still runs screaming. 

How did this happen? I'm not entirely sure, except I kept trying and tiny little bits must have stuck. I'm still hoping to make other things stick (I can't see the floor of my office space or actually put clean laundry in our closets because they are overflowing and I have to clear them out every 2 months or so because I can't seem to keep things semi-organised at all in there..... and I wouldn't recommend the downstairs toilet, it's just the bathroom one I've gotten into the habit of cleaning whenever I wash my hair.... and there are spiderwebs all over my walls and ceiling, but that's still so far down on my list of things to get better at that I don't even care.) 

 

Well, that ramble was supposed to put things into perspective (it's not silly!) and offer a suggestion (just start somewhere, pick something, lets see where it goes!). 

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Main Quest: becoming a decent kettlebell lifter and a great coach

Current challenge: KB Girl gets her bujo back

my instagram - my gym's instagram

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There's a phrase we use on projects...you can't boil the ocean. Like the others said...nibble, don't gulp

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Warriors don't count reps and sets. They count tons.

My psychologist weighs 45 pounds, has an iron soul and sits on the end of a bar

Tally Sheet for 2019

Encouragement for older members: Chronologically Blessed Group;

Encouragement for newbie lifters: When we were weaker

 

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Little pieces at a time.  You can't fix everything at once - especially with all you've been through.

 

Your knitting stuff is so cute!!!  I used to do cross stitch pictures, but lost the patience for them sometime along the way --- or just found other stuff to do I guess, so I definitely appreciate your eye for detail :)

 

Knee #1 feels great.  Still some issues with Knee #2, but I'm hoping to get back to basketball as a sub in April and play full time in June or July when we get back from our trip (we're going to Europe in May).

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Going to update, then go through and look at replies, because of course I have 1000000000 things going through my head.

 

1. Been feeling disconnected lately. This is a theme throughout my life. It makes it hard for me to make good decisions because it feels like the choices I make don't matter. And it's sometimes another symptom of the depression, but I don't think it is now. I just feel out of sync, out of step. It's hard for me to remember yesterday. Or last week. Etc.

 

2. Still trying to figure out how to find a balance between loving myself and the way I am, and still managing to take care of some of that daily maintenance stuff. I haven't really gotten to anything specific on this because I don't want to get overwhelmed, and I don't want to bite off more than I can chew. 

 

3. Physical fitness is just...awful. I don't even know if I can do a push-up right now. I shoveled the driveway yesterday, and it exhausted me completely. I was out of breath within 5 minutes. I get winded walking up a couple flights of stairs. Walking fast. Etc. But again, I don't want to schedule myself to death, so really trying to draw this back in to figuring out how to put PT back in my "routine".

 

4. As a tangent off that last thought, I've been back to work for 3+ months now. I want to start looking at increasing my hours back to 40 (which will get me more money, as well as getting me to my vesting goal sooner). I don't know if I want to do this all at once, so one of my thoughts has been re-joining the YMCA right across from work, going there in the morning before work to do my PT (with a goal of being there by 7), and being to work by 7:30. So I would accomplish the goal of being out of the house earlier, get used to being downtown earlier, AND the goal of PT. But it's only a thought...and maybe I'm overcomplicating it.

 

5. Goal/stuff tracking: I have a chalkboard by my motivation mirror that I'm putting goals on - goals for the morning when I first get up, and goals for just before I go to bed. The idea was to sort of "bookend" my day with routine things that would help add a little structure to my day. I recently decreased the number of goals to 2 in the a.m., and 2 at night - and one of those I've been doing routinely since...sometime earlier last year so technically I probably don't need to write it down - but it feels good, plus I don't want to lose track of it. BUT - there are other things I want to track. Booze. Physical activity. Other stuff that I don't remember right now. But I don't want to track myself to death and again, get overwhelmed.

 

6. Launch pad: I read this idea the other day (as a way to manage ADHD problems) of having a "launch pad" near the door that contains the things you will need/want when you leave the house. So, keys, wallet/purse, shoes, coat, etc. I started that with Blueberries' suggestion to always hang up my keys as soon as I get home (and that's going great), but I'm still running around like a chicken with its head cut off everytime I get ready to go somewhere. So a launch pad would be nice, but it's another thing to track, and manage, and sometime before I leave the house having to think about all the things I might need the next time I leave, depending on where I'm going, and go around and collect (re: find) those things, and...that's a lot. It's a great idea - I just want to find a way to make it work for me.

 

7. There was a 7 but I forgot.

 

8. Oh hell, I might as well add #8. I just got my 2016 planner (Erin Condren, expensive but worth it if I can figure out how to use it right) and it's way more customizable than last year's, so I'm trying to figure out how to use all the areas/spaces.

 

9. I remember #7. It was about how one of the things that's really hard for me is task switching, and that's one of the reasons I'm always late, but setting alarms helps, but I also don't want to live my life by alarms on my phone.

 

I have some pictures I want to post but they are on my phone. So I will figure that out the next time I have some mental capacity, which I'm sort of running out of right now.

 

No booze: 2 days (non consecutive)

Level ? Half-Dwarf/Half-Amazon Warrior

STR:21.25 STA:15 DEX: 10.95 CON: 14 WIS:15.5 CHA:17

SWOLE BUCKS: 1

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

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6. Launch pad: I read this idea the other day (as a way to manage ADHD problems) of having a "launch pad" near the door that contains the things you will need/want when you leave the house. So, keys, wallet/purse, shoes, coat, etc. I started that with Blueberries' suggestion to always hang up my keys as soon as I get home (and that's going great), but I'm still running around like a chicken with its head cut off everytime I get ready to go somewhere. So a launch pad would be nice, but it's another thing to track, and manage, and sometime before I leave the house having to think about all the things I might need the next time I leave, depending on where I'm going, and go around and collect (re: find) those things, and...that's a lot. It's a great idea - I just want to find a way to make it work for me.

I absolutely do this.  I have a launch pad by the door and a couple secondary ones in my office (ie, if the keys/wallet/glasses are not by the door, I know the next place to look).  I also have launch pads at the hotels.  (it goes on the desk/table).

 

I also have a routine for when I'm leaving on a trip.  I can pack reliably in <10 minutes for a 3-4 day trip and not worry about forgetting things.  It helps that Christi has learned not to interrupt me while I'm packing cause I lose my flow.

 

Routines/habits are key to not stressing (imo) though conversely...it can be stressful to get them setup.

 

One that I'm still working on is I don't put my keys in the same pocket all the time when I go to the store.  Which means when I get back to the car, I've got a good chance of having bags in the hand I need to get the keys out....grrr

Warriors don't count reps and sets. They count tons.

My psychologist weighs 45 pounds, has an iron soul and sits on the end of a bar

Tally Sheet for 2019

Encouragement for older members: Chronologically Blessed Group;

Encouragement for newbie lifters: When we were weaker

 

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No booze: 2 days (non consecutive)

 

You're the Grover Cleveland of not drinking. :D

 

I read The Power of Habit a year or so ago, a book about how the "habit engine" drives our lives. It made a point about keystone habits, basically, focus on developing one good habit and the others will fall in around it. Mine is my sleep-wake times. If I keep those regular I'm pretty good with everything else.

 

That's all to reiterate this theme of pick one thing and work on it.

 

Might I suggest something like: "Be out the door by a particular time."

 

If you just work on that you'll likely figure out when to get up, and what should be on the launch pad and getting organized with your calendars and such.

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Level 3, Rebel

Currtent Challenge
Previously known as: Curl Brogo, Darwins_Demon, Vincent Van Bro

2020 Respawn Battle Log || Tarly's Ten Level Nutrition Plan

My Fitness Pal Profile || NF Epic Quest Character Page || Instagram

Weight Loss Quest: Start 270 lbs., Goal 199 lbs., Current 270 lbs., Waist: ,45.0 in., Bodyfat%: 33%

 

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So it's been a bit. I have a Facebook group where I talk about things and I apparently can't copy my text so you get screen shots.

One good thing about being this depressed? I don't even want to drink. 2 consecutive days with no drinks. Hopefully the pics come through ok.

4f9d2eeab8f84a6f28286999d195fcdc.jpgfd68d867b29ababbc39bb467ecacefbc.jpg

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Level ? Half-Dwarf/Half-Amazon Warrior

STR:21.25 STA:15 DEX: 10.95 CON: 14 WIS:15.5 CHA:17

SWOLE BUCKS: 1

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

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That unfortunately is the bane of getting depressed. Once you're in the pit you can't really do shit. I do pretty much the same things. But, when you're not in the pit, you can prepare by building yourself a ladder to help you get out.

 

Last time it hit me, which was not even a couple of weeks ago, I laid in bed all day, listening to music, napping, and thinking about how hopeless and pointless my existence is while a whole bunch of negative emotions were shouting in the background keeping me from getting up. No way in hell was I to get through a to-do list or whatever.

 

What triggered the last event was the ongoing battle between my step-dad and me over chores and shit. I moved back home to rebuild my shitty life after the damage done from being a depressed graduate student. He actually wants to help me, but he thinks the solution is to treat me like an undisciplined teenager rather than a 31 year old who is working hard to rebuild a broken life in shambles. So he snapped at me for not putting the Christmas decoration boxes in the attic (right away) and it triggered me (tip of the iceberg). The first thing was I got angry, then I did the thing, then I ruminated. This kept me awake and the next day and I was too tired to get out of bed. I didn't leave it for 24 hours except for twice, one to pee and one to get another glass of water. I didn't eat because I felt sick to my stomach. No bathing, no teeth brushing.

 

This is what I do to get out of it. To find that spark of life or whatever.

 

While I'm laying there feeling shitty and hopeless. I'm working at that. I have to focus on that 'feeling' or rather vague 'non-feeling.' It hits me in a couple of ways. First, I usually feel that "pain" in my chest and arms. It's a numb tenseness like I want to crush something but can't because I'm too weak or I don't know what to crush. Then it kind of swirls around aimlessly in my body. Then, I have this hollow numb sensation in my head and it makes all my thoughts seem blunt. I get confused and distracted easily when it's there and it makes me very sleepy and feel all stuck in my head. So I put some effort on to paying attention to, observing, and trying to grasp that non-feeling and focus on where it's coming from. While I'm doing that a thought or a real emotion might come up and I have to acknowledge it and defend it or argue with it or whatever. So I just do this until the feeling starts to go away or I get too tired again and take another nap, probably half asleep with some horrible irrational nightmare or just bizarre dream. When I wake back up I get at it again. Where is  the pain, what it the pain, why is the pain? Over and over.

 

Eventually, things come through like "I feel useless because I can't get chores done." and I can respond with "Well, fuck you, I did three other chores today, fuck that one. I did shit!" I get to feel anger again. And yeah, anger is shitty but at least its something I can work with rather than vague, non-feeling, numb shittiness. The todo list and launch pad help you build up evidence that you don't suck when you feel like you suck.

 

Then I spent the entire week feeling angry and sad and just processing it and letting it go.

 

Anyway, that's my process. And it's not just some bullshit. These were things that were taught to me by a counselor and that I've been practicing and learning for two years. It used to take me a week or two of just ignoring the depression only to be back to barely semi-normal where I could fall right back in at even a tiny insult to my psyche. Now it's down to 24 hours or less and I can be "normal."

 

I don't know if it will work for you. Everybody's depression is different, but I think there's hope that something like this will.

 

On another note, I think that people who get depressed tend to have more intense emotions than others. Unfortunately, life doesn't cooperate and we can't let it all out all the time. We need a channel. Because of this we also tend to be creative because when we harness these vast emotional energies we can do amazing things. Every one of Beethoven's 9 symphonies was a struggle against his own depression. Picasso had his blue period, and when once he withdrew from the world for an entire month to work on his painting, he emerged with a painting that redefined art.

 

Depression is just the price some of us have to pay for being awesome. That's why I've returned to painting. That's why you should keep knitting, or writing, or whatever. Again, more evidence that we don't suck.

 

Hope this is useful.

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Level 3, Rebel

Currtent Challenge
Previously known as: Curl Brogo, Darwins_Demon, Vincent Van Bro

2020 Respawn Battle Log || Tarly's Ten Level Nutrition Plan

My Fitness Pal Profile || NF Epic Quest Character Page || Instagram

Weight Loss Quest: Start 270 lbs., Goal 199 lbs., Current 270 lbs., Waist: ,45.0 in., Bodyfat%: 33%

 

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I am still here. I'm not sure I can say I've fully recovered from my episode - I still feel low, and without energy to do many of the things I enjoy. I did, however, make it to work all week last week, and I'm here again on a Monday. So there's that. Yesterday I even managed a bunch of chores!

 

Moar updates in new challenge thread that I haven't made yet.  :)

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Level ? Half-Dwarf/Half-Amazon Warrior

STR:21.25 STA:15 DEX: 10.95 CON: 14 WIS:15.5 CHA:17

SWOLE BUCKS: 1

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

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