Cephalopod_Dreams Respawns for the New Year

[Cephalopod_Dreams]

New Year new chance, right?

I dont have time to write out my challenge in full at the moment but I'm getting this post up here as a message to myself that I WILL get back on the fitness wagon and I WILL resume all the habits I had in place before the Christmas break.

If I dont do this now I will be seduced by lethargy and procrastination, and I dont want to start my new year that way. So, here we are.

I didn't manage as much gym as I wanted to during the Christmas break but I did so SOME so that's worth something. It's hard to continue my good habits when karate takes a holiday break but lessons resume today so I'm going to get right back into it from day 1, no excuses. My vague goal for 2016 is to get myself to 3 lessons a week now, as I've leveled up and the belt tests get progressively harder.

On the plus side I have all the motivation I need as my wonderful dojo awarded me Woman of the Year 2015 at our Christmas party! If I ever needed a boost to tell me that my hard work is paying off this is it!

I'll be back later to outline my official goals (and present a summary of my last challenge) but for now I'm hoping that the force is strong with all my Nerd Fitness buddies this new year.

EDIT:

Well I reviewed my previous challenge. I think i did enough to ascend to level 3, and I gained the following points:

+1 stamia

+1 dexterity

+2 constitution

+1 wisdom

[Kishi]

Well, then, consider me to be on the reminder-wagon until such time as you write out what you're gonna do.

 

Congratulations on making WOTY last year.

[Cephalopod_Dreams]

Thanks Kishi! I was really touched and it was lovely to get external validation that others have noticed that I'm trying. 

 

 

Off to a good start: I made it to karate last night AND I had a glass of water instead of wine. Woo! However, this is my third challenge and I still dont feel like I have good, solid habits, so I'm going to get really focused and stick with my original goals until I feel strong about them.

 

 Quest 1: 

Go to Karate 3 times a week. Now that I've leveled up I will not progress further without more intensive training. 

 

Goal: A = 3 lessons a week. B = 2 lessons a week. C = 1 lessons a week.

Reward: A = +2 Str, +2 Dex, +1 Sta. B = +1 Sta, +1 Dex. C = +1 Dex

 

Quest 2:

Strength training twice a week. This can be at home, but ideally will take place at the gym. It's the third challenge where i've wanted to focus on strength and it's time I got serious about it. 

 

Goal: A = 2 gym sessions a week . B = 2 sessions a week. C = 1 session a week.

Reward: A = +2 Str, +2 Sta, +1 Dex,. B = +1 Sta, +1 Str. C = +1 Str

 

Quest 3:

Have at least 2 alcohol-free nights a week- it's time to get over the festive drinking and back into good, solid habits. 

 

Goal: A = 3 nights a week free. B = 2 nights a week free. C = 1 night a week free. 

Reward: A = +2 Wis, +3 Con,. B = +1 Wis, + 2 Con.  C = +1 Con.

[Teirin]

Excellent goals, and focusing on them until they feel solid is far more sensible than doing something different each challenge. Congrats on your award!

[Kishi]

So, in other words, a consolidation quest. This is good. Those things that we tend to feel need strengthening feel so very often because they do need to be strengthened. It's the way of things.

[Cephalopod_Dreams]

Thanks for the support I thought it might be better to get some good solid habits formed before I try taking on all of the things at once (which is what I usually do).

 

I weighed myself this morning to see how bad the damage is after Christmas - 9st 11lbs. Not great but not as bad as I feared. Next step is to re-do my measurements to see what that weight gain really means.

 

Pleased with myself today as I've made plans with my SO to go to the gym after work and get some strength training in, and I used my 20 seconds of courage to call a clinic and book a consultation for laser eye surgery. This could totally change my life so I'm super excited about it! 

[Cephalopod_Dreams]

Gym last night was surprisingly tough - obviously a three week break is enough to cripple me.

Started with assisted pull up machine

10 x dips at 40kg assist

10 x dips at 40kg assist

10 x dips at 35kg assis

10 x chins at 40kg assist

5 x chins at 35kg assist

10 x chins at 40kg assist

10 x pulls at 40kg assist

5 x pulls at 35kg assist

10 x pulls at 40kg assist

I know that the last time I tried this i managed 10 of each at 35kg, but this time it was basically impossible and even when I went up to 40kg I still couldn't do more than 3 in a row of chins or pulls without taking a 10 second break.

Followed this up by being super brave and grabbing the smallest free weight barbell from the rack to practice squats and barbell row + press. Don't know how much the bar weighed but the plates were 1.5kg each so I think maybe a 5kg total weight. I'm really nervous about having the wrong form while doing these exercises so I think my next goal is to ask a fitness instructor at the gym to walk me through it.

Started with

10 x squat

10 x row

10 x press

then did two rounds of

10 x squat

10 x row and press

EDIT: Turns out that ^ was a 10kg barbell

[WhiteBeltBrowncoat]

Sounds like you're off to a good start. I like the use of the 20 seconds of bravery. Hope that goes well for you. Free weights always intimidated me as I never learned how to use them. Asking for help sounds like a smart move to me.

[Cephalopod_Dreams]

Thanks WhiteBeltBrownCoat! Now I will just need to be extra brave in my next gym session to actually ask for help! Karate is cancelled tomorrow so I intend to go tomorrow and be brave. 

 

Well this looks like a good first week of my challenge:

 

- attended both karate lessons

- went to the gym and was brave

- made a scary appointment to have lasers in my eyes

- achieved two nights with no booze and reduced booze on all other nights despite temptation from SO

- held my temper despite severe provocation from my stepson 

 

I had a fight with my SO this morning about the aforementioned son, although it was more about SO's response than about the boy. However even though I'm upset enough that I came to work 40 minutes early I still didnt give in to biscuits and coffee, and chose a fruit tea instead. Hooray! I say, these habit things are pretty good! 

[Cephalopod_Dreams]

No karate today as there's a competition on, so I am solved yesterday that I would go to the gym with my SO and my friend. However I had too much wine last night and I woke up this morning completely exhausted... but I went to the gym anyway!

I didn't see anyone who looked like staff who I could ask for advice on weights and form, so I guess I'll have to ask for advice next time. I didn't do a full workout as my limbs feel like lead, but I'm proud of myself anyway because I came to the gym when all I wanted to do was stay in bed.

Also, I've been reading the weight on the barbell wrong - I've been lifting 10kg this whole time, not 5.

3 circuits:

10 x 10kg barbell squats

30 x 10kg barbell rows

10 x 10kg barbell press

I usually then do 3 circuits on the assisted pull up machine but seriously I was so tired that I finished one circuit and went and hot in the hot tub

1 circuit:

10 x dips 40kg assist

10 x chins 40kg assist

10 x pulls 40kg assist

I don't seem to be making progress with the weight that I can manage but I think that my form might be getting better.

[Kishi]

Doing a move with the same load with better form is a sign that you're getting stronger and developing something good. It's a good thing.

 

Also, way to make it to the gym even when you didn't feel like it! That's awesome. All in all, I'd say you're off to a great start.

[Cephalopod_Dreams]

Annoying start to the week. I hurt my neck on saturday - probably while doing those barbell squats  - so I had to miss out on karate last night. No point exercising with an injury as I'm likely to make it worse. 

 

But now I feel all bummed out and out of my rhythm. Monday is usually a no alcohol night, partly as I get home so late after karate, but as I was in all evening I ended up having two gin and lemonades and snacking on a flapjack. Boo.

 

I'm feeling chubby and disappointed in myself, even though I know that resting the neck was probably the right thing to do (it still hurts).

 

Starting today with a fruit tea rather than a coffee, so lets hope I can get myself back on track. 

[Kishi]

If you don't mind me offering some advice, I find that it's okay in general for one to make unhealthy choices if those choices are balanced out by healthier choices down the line. And missing out on the exercise isn't really that bad, except that it cost you in terms of your routine, which sounds like it threw you off a bit.

 

Well, okay, then. That happened. Let it go.

[Cephalopod_Dreams]

Thanks Kishi, I appreciate the support. I'm back at Karate tonight and I'm planning to go on saturday, so I can still get two lessons in this week. I think I'll feel better when I'm back in my routine. 

[Cephalopod_Dreams]

It's funny though; I missed Karate on Monday and didnt make it to the gym tuesday or wednesday as I usually go with my SO and he's been having a really rough week. Then my son has spent the last two days being insufferable and I lost my temper today, SO and I had an argument. Actually, he handled it really well, I was the one who got upset and angry.

 

I always forget how much exercise helps me to manage my mood, until I go a few days without it and start wondering why I feel so spiky and unhappy. 

[Cephalopod_Dreams]

Today is a day of increased pain and palpitations. I can't wait to get back to karate tonight and do some exercise. 

 

 

EDIT: OK, so karate last night didnt happen. It started snowing just before I left work, and let me tell you driving a motorbike through snow and high winds in the dark is NOT FUN. So by the time I got home I was frozen (and kinda glad to be alive) so I got in the shower to defrost and when I got out my SO informed me that he had invited some friends over and they were going to order Dominos.

 

So I didnt exercise and have a booze-free night as planned - instead I stayed in and had Dominos and wine. 

 

Oh well, I'm not going to let it get me down. Straight back on plan today. 

[Cephalopod_Dreams]

Week two of this challenge has been a bit of a bust. I didn't go to Karate at all last week as I hurt my neck at the gym on saturday the 9th, so I missed monday to rest. Then Thursday it was snowing so hahahaha NO. And on Saturday 16th  I couldnt bring myself to go as I hate the weekend venue and the time slot takes up such a large chunk of time right in the middle of the day.

 

I did make it to the gym yesterday (sunday) but at no other point during the week, for the same reasons  I didnt go to karate. AND I didnt even get to do my full workout as two dude bros were sitting on the machine I wanted to use and chatting and I didnt have the nerve to ask them to move. What I did manage in the gym was the following:

 

3 sets:

10 x 10kg barbell squats
30 x 10kg barbell rows
10 x 10kg barbell press

10 x step ups (each leg)

10 x incline press ups 

 

A friend of mine went along to the gym with me, and after our workout we went and sat in the hot tub to chat. She asked me why I'm doing weights, and I said that it's not really about weight loss, it's about getting stronger and feeling proud of myself and what I can do. Talking to her about my motivations really helped me have a bit of an epiphany about why I want to do this, and it's spurred me on to get back on the horse and try harder. When I see strong women, women with defined muscles who are badass and capable and awesome, they look like super heroes to me. Maybe it's because I grew up idolising Xena and Buffy and whoever else, but I love the idea of being strong and capable and knowing I am totally able to look after myself. 

 

Strong women are sexy, and fierce, and capable and badass and I totally want a piece of that. That's what  I am aspiring to. 

[Kishi]

Well, as far as karate goes, for one class you were nursing an injury, and for the other you had safety concerns. Seems completely legit to me, as far as good reasons to miss class go. As far as weekend classes go, I can see how they'd be unfun, especially if you have people you want to be with for the weekend and such.

 

I'm glad you found your way back to your motivation. Good. Don't let dudebros get in the way of you getting what you want. Karate them out of the way and get strong!

[Cephalopod_Dreams]

I really, really really did intend to go to karate on Monday. But I got home and my SO had made lasagna and I didn't see him at all all weekend so I ended up staying in watching Scrubs under a blanket :/ I'm not doing too well with this cold weather fitness.

 

Still, I'm going to get back to the gym tonight and see if I can do a proper workout. I've been keeping my eye out for staff members who I  could ask for tips on the weight lifting. I'm almost tempted to book a personal trainer for 4 weeks just to help me get the hang of it. I'm nervous around weights and scared of getting it wrong and injuring myself.

 

How do people ever manage to get started in stuff like this? 

[Cephalopod_Dreams]

Week 3 day 4 - Not really fitness related, sorry. 

 

This challenge has been a complete failure so far. I didn't make it to the gym last night; I did some squats and press ups at home and had a bath instead.

 

Unfortunately I then had a row with my SO. I have a chicken / egg situation here where I'm not sure if I'm extra depresssed because I haven't exercised, or if I havent exercised because I've been too low. Either way I completely fell to bits yesteray. I was miserable and tearful and irrational and seeing the absolute worst in everything and I made a complete twat of myself. My SO was really understanding and talked me through it but unfortunately he's also in the habit of blaming everything on my depression and claiming that there are no external factors in my unhappiness and it's all in my head. So 50% helpful and 50% not so much.

 

And now I'm in the position where for the 3rd time in 12 months I'm wondering if my 8 year relationship is dead in the water. I don't want to risk losing what happiness I have on the off chance that I might find something better, but the thought of being stuck in this cycle forever is kinda horrifying. Maybe I'm just destined to be miserable, and whoever I'm with and wherever I am that will always be the case? Who knows.

 

So, I've been good today and resisted caffeine and sweets, and downloaded a mood tracking app, and made myself a promise that I will to go karate tonight whatever happens and I will set a reminder in my calendar so that I go back to spending minimum one day a week working on my CBT and depression workbooks. 

[Kishi]

My oh my. This is a tough place to be, huh?

 

First off, don't be sorry. We might have fitness in the name, but the whole point of any of us developing our fitness is to live better lives than what we came in with. As such, real life stuff totally falls within our purview. Especially since that's a two-way street - real life impacts fitness just as much as fitness impacts real life.

 

As to your first question in terms of how people ever get started... well, the best trick for that that we've ever found is to set a low bar and then set it lower. With most fitness stuff, that means taking the initiative to go from no-movement to movement, and to make it so small and so easy to hit that it honestly just feels silly not to.

 

In strength work, that very often does mean doing something at home. Which is okay, and it sounds like that might suit you better at this stage anyway, just to get the idea of doing something. Don't knock it, either - as someone who's too poor to go to the gym, I've had a lot of success doing crazy bodyweight stuff. And as much as people swear by Rippetoe and his lifts, I'd like to see him do a pistol squat and pull that off.

 

And hey. Squats and press ups are a pretty brilliant start.

 

As to your depression and your relationship woes, well. I'm not a very good counselor when it comes to this stuff. It sounds like you've got some heavy thoughts on that matter, and I'm afraid to offer advice that would push you any one way. It does sound like your SO is really working hard to see the best of you, and it also sounds like in his zeal to do so that he's ignoring some very real things that factor into your unhappiness. Depression may be a thing of the mind, but that doesn't mean there aren't things outside that can figure into that, and it doesn't sound like he understands that.

 

That's not to say whether you should or should not stay. It's only to say that there may be some things that he doesn't understand. I don't know if that's a talk you and he have had or if it isn't, or what kind of steps you should take. I guess, like. If you don't mind a crude simile, a relationship seems to be like a job to me, in that you try to make the best of it before deciding to jump ship for something better. If it can be made to move again, and if you think it worthwhile, then there's no reason not to try. But that's just a celibate, v-card-carrying romantic talking, so this may not be worth terribly much for you.

 

As to karate, unless you're hurt, remove your emotions from it save for that initial burst of passion that got you started in the first place. If it's something you truly enjoy, then it will remind you of its good every time you go, but if you allow yourself an out on the basis of how you feel, you'll never remember why you enjoyed it in the first place, and you'll never get anywhere with it. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but it's the most true way I know to look at it.

 

Anyway, this is all a voice on the internet talking, so take all of it with a grain of salt. Bottom line is, you can hit reset any time you want.

 

[sarakingdom]

Is some kind of couples counselling possible?  Because this seems like something fixable, and where a professional would be useful in separating it from the depression - and also not like a pattern that's good long-term.  Your SO seems well-meaning and understanding, but it's not a good habit to use your partner's depression as a way of avoiding uncomfortable introspection.

[Cephalopod_Dreams]

Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it. However things went from bad to worse as I got hit by a car on my way to work on Friday.

75mph impact, into hospital in an ambulance and everything. Trauma team had to cut me out of my gear (all ruined) and everything. Thankfully I have wonderful gear so I've managed to walk away with nothing but bruises but I can definitively say that my challenge is over.

On the plus side my SO has been super supportive and reminded me of all the reasons I love him. My depression and my long term illness make things difficult, but i feel really lucky that I have someone who's willing to work on our issues.

Thanks for the words of support x

[sarakingdom]

Yikes, that's horrible!  I'm so sorry.  I'm glad you were as lucky as you were.

 

Don't feel at all bad if you start out with a fitness challenge and finish with an accident recovery challenge.  IMO, it's not just legitimate to transition challenges when life situations arise, but a really good thing to do.  Things overturn out plans, and practicing the adapting and bouncing back is super-useful.

[Kishi]

Wow, geez.

 

 

You take your time. Rest now. Get better.