Men ONLY please...

[Waldo]

The school, I think, genuinely thinks they are taking it seriously, because they're educators, and by definition do not understand how kids ARE, but only how kids SHOULD be. Some pink shirts, an assembly or two, and talking about how 'bullying is not cool' is as far forward as they can think.

Unless times have seriously changed thinking they could do something about it wishful thinking by those that didn't get bullied or those that have forgotten what it is like.

Adults don't understand, see, and/or care about the social structure that children set up. I read a few great articles on it, on how similar it is to prison culture, how a heirachy is set up when a group is locked up with very little in the way of boundaries, rules, or things to do. It is the nature of this social structure to have untouchables that get picked on, trying to stop the incidents that occur is pointless, to end it the social structure has to be altered, and that can never occur in an educational system that is by and large prison for kids where the social structure is allowed to spontaneously develop on its own.

[ETFnerd]

i got into my first fight in 1st grade. i got tossed head first into a wall and was momentarily unconscious. i think it scared the other kid more than it scared me. the day after, my dad took me to a martial arts class... tkd. after that nothing happened until i was in 6th grade. got into a fight with a kid who was a foot shorter than i was. apparently his dad made sure he wouldn't get bullied and taught him how to box. never was able to lay a hand on him and it was all him landing shots on me. apparently i ended up being the bully in that situation. i hadn't been working hard at martial arts... i thought i was the bomb because i had a black belt, but apparently that wasn't enough... nothing happened again until high school when i got into fights with a lot of kids. won most of them, but there were some kids with outstanding athletic ability and others who outweighed me by 100+ lbs who essentially kicked my a$$, but not in a vicious manner...

the common thread with everyone i got into fights with was that they had some sort of trouble in their lives. thinking back on it, i was so concerned about myself that i completely ignored what backgrounds of abuse, dysfunction, abysmal family situations they were facing in their lives. i knew one kid i hated who was beaten several times a week by an alcoholic father. today i hold no animosity toward them, although i hated many of them during childhood and as a teenager. so many people live broken lives behind a facade of false arrogance that it makes me feel fortunate for all the blessings in my life. having a child go through a beating, cruelty, psychological abuse is hard, but not ignoring the troubles of the kid inflicting it, i think is something that i've been able to grow into. i can't imagine growing up without feeling love or security, and i saw many kids grow up like this.

Many times, the behavior of the kid is not really their fault, but that of poor parenting or desperate circumstances.

hopefully i can teach my kids to be safe, but maybe also that when two people fight, there are two stories and lives that are intersecting, and sometimes the one that takes the beating is really the winner as long as both are able walk away...

[Waldo]

hopefully i can teach my kids to be safe, but maybe also that when two people fight, there are two stories and lives that are intersecting, and sometimes the one that takes the beating is really the winner as long as both are able walk away...

True. Though I think that you'd have a hard time getting a younger child to see it from that POV.

That's funny that the boxer cleaned your clock. They kinda did just give black belts to anyone so long as you kept with it long enough. But you get out of it what you put into it. Give it your all and earn that black belt and you should be a very, very good fighter, especially on defense (as the boxer was). In a fight defense outweighs offense 10 fold, especially whe your opponents experience is very low. I was never much of a point sparrer, I sucked at scoring points, always been much better on defense than offense (at least fighter v. fighter, someone that can't block is a sitting duck). Much better at forms and breaking.

[Philociraptor]

Y'all's experiences sound positively terrible compared to the occasional shoving and verbal taunts I received for my weight and who knows what else. Ironically, it calmed down in high school, when I was at my heaviest, in the show choir, and had long hair. Maybe I just appeared happier and so I wasn't much of a target anymore. Then again, most of my classes were AP so i rarely interacted with the typical bullies. I definitely think it's true that if you make it no longer fun for the bullies they will more often than not at least find a new target.

[chairohkey]

I know you mentioned your boy is in sports but have you thought of boxing or wrestling. I was involved in both at a young age and they did more to instill character and self confindence than anything else in my life.

[Waldo]

Y'all's experiences sound positively terrible compared to the occasional shoving and verbal taunts I received for my weight and who knows what else.

There is a pile on effect.

I'm sure some of you can recall the hierarchy that develops. The kids at the top rarely bully. It is the 2nd tier on down that do. Those at the bottom get bullied by all above, including others that get bullied. Everybody partakes on the low man on the totel pole. I was that guy. Gym class was the worst for it, and whole class bathroom breaks. You can at least run away during recess some of the time.

[ETFnerd]

I know you mentioned your boy is in sports but have you thought of boxing or wrestling. I was involved in both at a young age and they did more to instill character and self confindence than anything else in my life.

i agree with wrestling... boxing i'd be concerned with my kid taking too many shots to the head... even with the headgear there is often too much of a height, strength disparity in sparring... there is character, but also head trauma in a developing brain...

[chairohkey]

i agree with wrestling... boxing i'd be concerned with my kid taking too many shots to the head... even with the headgear there is often too much of a height, strength disparity in sparring... there is character, but also head trauma in a developing brain...

Most trainers won't have a kid live spar until they have 6 mon to 1 yr under them and after they've demonstrated a sufficent baseline ability. Then they will be grouped with kids their own size and ability. I believe all boys/men should learn to box even if its only bag and mit work.

[Guest Snake McClain]

i agree with wrestling... boxing i'd be concerned with my kid taking too many shots to the head... even with the headgear there is often too much of a height, strength disparity in sparring... there is character, but also head trauma in a developing brain...

agreed. i'd stick with wrestling too. those kids were the scariest dudes in school. NO ONE messed with them. even the skinny f***ers.

[chairohkey]

agreed. i'd stick with wrestling too. those kids were the scariest dudes in school. NO ONE messed with them. even the skinny f***ers.

Agreed. And trust me no wrestler messed with another wrestler if he knew the other one boxed too.

[Waldo]

I believe all boys/men should learn to box even if its only bag and mit work.

Warning....

This can lead to not good things in college.

When I lived with my bro in college, we both had sets of boxing gloves and both had TKD black belts. This inevidibly led to "fun" while drinking. Just stuck to a no legs rule. Somehow every time we had a party the boxing gloves came out and got passed around. Though it was usually only between the two of us where it got intense, we both had a lot of experience sparring each other and could effectly block/dodge. At the time he was a football player and I was far from it so I didn't tend to fare too well, especially if we stalemated early and I got gassed.

[chairohkey]

Warning....

This can lead to not good things in college.

When I lived with my bro in college, we both had sets of boxing gloves and both had TKD black belts. This inevidibly led to "fun" while drinking. Just stuck to a no legs rule. Somehow every time we had a party the boxing gloves came out and got passed around. Though it was usually only between the two of us where it got intense, we both had a lot of experience sparring each other and could effectly block/dodge. At the time he was a football player and I was far from it so I didn't tend to fare too well, especially if we stalemated early and I got gassed.

TKD ≠ boxing

[ETFnerd]

when you're a teenager, the belief that you're invincible will lead you to do stupid things all the time... i was such a douche a lot of the time...

[ETFnerd]

TKD ≠ boxing

i took boxing after my 6th grade encounter and my boxing buddies were always afraid i was going to kick them. they had no defense b/c they'd never been kicked b4...

left hook ftfw baby... still my bread and butter... if you set it up right... no can defense...

i'm dead on the ground...

[161803398874989]

when you're a teenager, the belief that you're invincible will lead you to do stupid things all the time... i was such a douche a lot of the time...

Actually, I think that just makes you a stupid teenager (though it's kind of a pleonasm ), but there's definitely gradations. Not talking about me specifically (even though I never got into trouble), but some of the kids I tutor are way stupid, while others are relatively 'smart' (not necessarily book smart, but smart as in willing to study). They certainly know they aren't invincible and I highly doubt they do a lot of stupid things; although those things will help you learn, so never doing something stupid is a stupid thing in and of itself.

[Waldo]

TKD ≠ boxing

Take away legs (and open palms, which gloves effectively remove) and they pretty much are. I'm sure it varies school to school with regards to how much fist fighting training there is though. We did plenty of fist only work on the speed bag and heavy bag. In sparring punching was by far the easiest way to score points.

[chairohkey]

i took boxing after my 6th grade encounter and my boxing buddies were always afraid i was going to kick them. they had no defense b/c they'd never been kicked b4...

left hook ftfw baby... still my bread and butter... if you set it up right... no can defense...

True dat. My wife is a TKD black belt/former instructor and I'm scared to death of her kicks.

[Waldo]

i took boxing after my 6th grade encounter and my boxing buddies were always afraid i was going to kick them. they had no defense b/c they'd never been kicked b4...

left hook ftfw baby... still my bread and butter... if you set it up right... no can defense...

I got really good at simultaneous block-punch/elbow. They pretty much always work on inexperienced fighters who natually drop their guard when on offense. My points B&B though was a low side kick/punch combo.

[chairohkey]

Take away legs (and open palms, which gloves effectively remove) and they pretty much are. I'm sure it varies school to school with regards to how much fist fighting training there is though. We did plenty of fist only work on the speed bag and heavy bag. In sparring punching was by far the easiest way to score points.

Not really I've spared/fought numerous TMAs and their punching movement and mechanics are very different. Note I'm not saying they're bad, ineffective, or didn't hurt; just different.

[Thrillho]

I know you mentioned your boy is in sports but have you thought of boxing or wrestling. I was involved in both at a young age and they did more to instill character and self confindence than anything else in my life.

I used to be an instructor, and I want to start teaching him again. I've tried before but he used to get bored very quickly. He has aged, mentally and emotionally, a LOT in the last year (not in bad ways, but he had a very toddler mentality for a long time), so I think he's ready to try again. There's no training really close to us, except for seven or eight "Black Belt In One Year GUARANTEED!" dojos, and I hate those. TKD left a reeeeeally bad taste in my mouth. GSD is self-defense and street-fighting oriented, so I'm hoping it will help him the way it helped me.

[Blaizen]

Whats GSD?

[Thrillho]

Go-Shin Do.

I Googled it, and I was really horrified as the styles that come up all over the US and Canada share absolutely nothing with the style I learned (which I had thought was the only Go-Shin Do there was!) It was designed in the late 80's by Shihan Derrick Rothermel, multiple black-belt teacher in Karate, Aikido and... some other things I have forgotten. He was trying to make a 100% practical street-fighting self-defense program after his sister was raped and murdered. It's very circular, with emphasis on locks, breaks and pressure points.

[Blaizen]

Lol, typing the initials in brings up dogs, so thought it was safer to ask.

I think i have heard of it before, but will now go and do a lil research, cheers

[Thrillho]

Unless you've heard of the 25 person class in Kamloops, BC, Canada, you're thinking of a different style. A dozen people have called their style Go-Shin Do over the years, I've discovered.

[Blaizen]

yeah it's probably one of them that I've heard of, but it does ring a bell.

Problem is so much in MA sounds the same with the names they call them these days....