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It's Not Really a New Year

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Edit: Um, how do I get the spoiler tag to work? I know I usually ramble on, so I wanted to make it where people have the option of reading the details or just viewing the overview of my missions.


Mental Training: Train memory, train reflexes, brush up on math, overcome fears

  • Practice yo-yoing (Reflexes)
  • Read memory book (Memory)
  • Practice math (Math)
  • Practice typing and grammar (English)
  • Practice harmonica (math perception?)
  • Make time for homework (Career)
  • Stay true to your morality and philosophy (Character)

Me not being interested in math and drafting and other technical and sciency things weren't the only reasons I didn't do well in class. I feel like spending years of doing nothing but watching tv, playing video games, and eating has made my brain go soft in some areas. I think if I mentally train myself in some ways, it will help me do better in certain areas of my life. Improving my memory will help with managing this organization and doing homework. Improving my reflexes may make me sharper in conversation, help with gaming, and maybe even pay off later when I go to bootcamp.


I will train my reflexes by playing with a yo-yo. I always liked yo-yos, and I've been meaning to do some of my own research and experiments to see if it could be used as a make-shift self-defense weapon, as I remember reading somewhere that the yo-yos origins might go back to some form of martial arts or game hunting. But before I can practice it as a martial arts weapon, I have to know how to handle it.


I will train my memory by reading and practicing with a memory book I got from my dad. I can't remember what it's called (lol), but I think it's finally time to seriously read it.


I need to improve my math skills. Even if I'm not going to be an engineer, it feels like a critical weakness to not have at least good Algebra skills. Plus, I'm sure I'll need it for the ASVABs, or some job down the road.


I need to work on my grammar and typing skills. I'm thinking of just playing some fun word game on Kongregate for that, though. I'm sure it will come in handy for my journalism classes.


I'm also going to continue practicing playing the harmonica, because music is good for your brain, and I feel like I'm mentally training myself when I try to remember which number hole on the harmonica plays which note.


As far as fears go, I just need to work on not backing down from things because I am afraid of the outcome or consequences. I've been adapting the attitude that "If whatever I say or do does not hurt or destroy my road to becoming a PJ, then it shouldn't matter much if it gets a good or bad turnout. I have to stay safe, as well, but I do not need to let fear of getting hurt control me.


Physical Training: Train, run, stretch, eat right, learn how to swim


  • Bodyweight exercises and swimming MWF
  • Stretch every day
  • Run every day
  • Watch food intake (proportions and nutrition)

Although I was thinking of incorporating bodyweight exercises with dumbbell exercises, I decided to follow an old member's advice and stick to the bodyweight training program on his website, while incorporating moves I'd have to do at bootcamp (mainly situps): Even if it means doing excruciating arm hangs out in the cold for 30 seconds each, because hey: With what I want to do in life, I'll have to do harder things anyways.


I just need to keep doing stretches, especially for my knees, and find a way to incorporate flexibility training, mainly for the hips. I'll ask about this later.


On top of this, I'm going to start running, because for some reason, I like running now, and it's something I'll need to do in the military, as well. I just love how free and athletic it makes me feel, and seeing how much longer I can run each time before becoming too winded to continue. It's also a good way to burn calories and build stamina.


I'm also going to learn how to swim. I feel like it's an important survival skill, and it fits into the whole "me-wanting-to-be-versatile-and-near-superhuman" thingie. i don't just want to be able to run and sprint fast, I also want to swim. Also, I hear that most people wash out of the Pipeline at the water phase, due to not being able to swim well and being afraid of drowning. If I can get really strong and good at swimming, and eliminate my fear of the water, I can reduce that stress early.




Spiritual Training: Meditate, attend different religious churches/mosques/etc, write and sing lyrics


  • Meditate
  • Explore other religions
  • Continue to song write and sing
  • Story write
  • Never be game over

I really need to practice meditating. I don't know how to describe it, but it just feels so fitting and essential now. And since I'm having swimming class at the school rec and am going over there regularly with swim trunks, I might as well spend time in their hot tub or steam room and meditate. I need to meditate on why I'm here, who I am, who I aim to be, and what's most important. If I keep those things in mind, nothing else will matter, and I think that will eliminate a lot of feelings of being daunted, and some social anxiety. I also need to meditate as a form of relaxation. I still haven't decided on a mantra, though.


Speaking of which, I want to, and should, visit some other religious group's place of worship. I'm used to going to church, but I'm interested in meeting new people and learning about who they are, and I need to explore some more, as I usually learn more from leaving campus and doing something non-school-related than I do attending a class. Who knows: I might find out I'm Jewish. I seriously doubt it, but who knows?


I also need to get back to song writing and singing. I really enjoyed those things, and it really helps me in some emotional ways.


I also need to change my mentality about things. During break, I worried about things so much, something clicked in my head, and I decided I'm tired of worrying about things I don't entirely want to do, and instead, work on controlling them and doing my best at them, instead of just letting them overwhelm and steamroll me. I need to keep that mentality.


Leadership: Establish the eSports organization

  • Establish the UofM eSports Association

I need to help my friend establish our school organization devoted to video gaming and competitive play. Since he's graduated, he can't officially run the club anymore, and since I'm already committed, I have to see it through to the best of my ability. Afterall, it wouldn't be very teamwork-ish or soldier-y of me to abandon my friends and allies and brothers and sisters when they need me the most. Even if I enlist this summer, I can at least work on bringing in more members and finding someone who can potentially take my place. Who knows. I might even just travel next summer, come back next fall semester to help further establish the club, and then enlist next winter or spring.


Being president over a club sounds daunting, but after our officers meeting, it doesn't sound so bad. And even if it is, I have to show perseverance and at least do my best to lead. And if I fail at it, then at least I can say I tried, although I don't like that word. And if I cannot join the military at all for any reason, I want to have something to come back to and lead, and still feel at home and welcomed while in college, rather than go back to being a loner who doesn't do anything. Also, it might be my ticket to getting some other job I would actually care about outside of the military.


Website: For journalism, for my story writing, my song writing, and other things, I probably need to just go ahead and work on rebooting my website that I made for Journalism. It might be a way to get myself more noticed on the internet.




OK, after a few months in hiatus on my physical training during the holidays, I've managed to maintain my weight, and even lose a few pounds.That's OK, because being stuck inside out in the country during the coldest (and wettest, where I am) time of the year for two months, I think maintaining my weight was an accomplishment! The last time I checked, without clothes on (except underwear), I weigh 214 lbs (97.1 kl?), and last spring semester, I weighed 280 lbs, if I remember correctly. It was probably more like 274 lbs, but still, I've lost a lot of weight since then.


A little while back, I posted a thread about trying to lose a certain amount of weight in a small amount of time. Forget that I ever posted that. A lot of drama was going on in my life at that time, not to say it hasn't stopped yet, and I got desperate for a brief moment to try and lose enough extra weight so I can enlist in the military.


I tried a crash diet. *pause* Yes, you can whoop me for it, because surprise, surprise: It didn't work. my weight loss actually halted until I started to eat more, and only then did I begin to lose a pound every two weeks. I would have lost more if I stayed active and ate a little better, but I'll change that around this semester. After my panic was over, I decided that I shouldn't rush myself to lose weight so I can go do something to escape some problem. Instead, I need to prepare for those upcoming obstacles, and continue to keep this weight loss process a healthy and positive one.


I still remind myself of the original reason I wanted to lose weight: I remember watching  martial arts and parkour videos and thinking of how it almost seems superhuman what they were doing. However, I've gotten a new motivation for getting into shape: After doing some deep thinking and research, I've decided that I want to enlist into the US Air Force. It's my end-goal/end-game to become a Pararescueman in the Air Force, but I know that even if I meet the physical requirements to make it through the Air Force's basic training by this summer, I'm far from ready for the training PJs go through. There are also other factors I have to keep in mind and deal with first, before I can become a PJ.


I came to my conclusion on joining the military on a few things: I've been spending all my time in college trying to figure out who I am, or at least who I want to be, and what I want to do in life for a living.


I chose Engineering Technology because I "like robots and drones and technology, so why not work with things i love?" I'm weak at math, and even though I am confident that I can improve my math skills and attention to details and succeed in a career path such as that, something kept myself distracted from doing so well in that major in the past, and I think it's because it was not anything that connected with me on a very personal level. Simply put, learning how to code and wire things and weld things wasn't what I was worried about at the time.


I chose Geography because I have an interest in the world around me. It wasn't a good match. It taught me about the world, alright. But not the parts of it I care about, which is the history of people and civilizations, different cultures, and relations between these things. I mostly learned about rocks, and water, and the flow of these things, and wind, and dirt, and rocks in dirt, and dirt in rocks, and how the rocks got into the dirt, and how dirt forms into rocks, and etc. Some of my Human Planet class was interesting, but only because it covered some ancient mysteries about the planet, or taught me about some beautiful places on earth and remains of ancient civilizations and how they were made.


Journalism is the only major where I had classes where I enjoyed reading the material, and enjoyed doing the work. Media Writing was very pro-active, and I actually felt like I was developing professional skills and doing professional work. However, there's still the question of, can I get a good job that I am satisfied with through a journalism degree?


I decided that I wanted to become a PJ or at least a Rescue Swimmer because I want to help and protect people, and I also want to be strong, and I want to be recognized for that combination of compassion, strength, and bravery. As far as I see, saving lives is one of the ultimate ways of helping others.


Right now, I'm not very strong, so I want to be VERY strong, near-superhuman, but not in terms of weightlifting. Maybe a better term would be "physically capable".


Right now, even though I never wanted to admit it to myself, but I'm pretty afraid of a lot of things in life. I want to be one of the bravest people I know and other people around me know.


At last, I remember of all the times I have ever gotten scared that I would lose my home, my family, and my life in a tornado, and then one day I thought, "What if I could do something about that?" I don't believe in controlling the weather, but being able to protect and save others from natural disasters and threats, now that' something. I know that if I work in the military, it doesn't mean I can and will be able to go on missions to save the lives of the people I hold dear to me, but I'm still saving someone's loved one, and with the money I make and support I get from the military, I can help provide for my family if anything ever happens to them or their home, or at least this is my understanding. And if anything happens to me, I won't care, because for me, it's all part of my job, and part of my life journey. And if my duty and journey take me to the end of my life, at least I will die being the man I want to be, while doing something good.


Another thing that I believe motivated me to train towards joining the military, are some things I've been told and learned almost a year ago in school. It was after a few protests and talking to someone. Whether if it's true or not, I began to believe that it IS important to be successful to find love, although that does not always mean having a lot of money and a nice sports car. I'll probably tell the story at a later date.


Although there is a parallel between the things you own and who you are as a person, I believe there's still a line between vanities, and who YOU are as a person. Your good money and nice suit may reflect how seriously you take yourself and how hard you're willing to work, but it does not tell the whole story of your character. So on my road to becoming this man I envision myself being, I have to make sure I do not let myself obsess over nice titles and fancy hats. And really, as long as I am doing something I enjoy and am still holding myself to the standards I strive to reach, whether if I use the PJs as a guidelines or not, I should be happy, but never content. Like, even if I cannot become a PJ or a Rescue Swimmer, or even if I cannot join the military for some reason I can still hold myself to the same or similar physical standards, and I can still strive to help and protect others in other ways.


I have to keep in mind, if nothing else goes well this semester, I have to at least keep my body in check. It may sound crazy, but my priorities in life go like this: My health first, my grades second, my organization third. All of these things are important, but I'm not willing to sacrifice my grades for the organization, and I'm not willing to sacrifice my health and fitness for anything, if I can help it.

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