We can rebuild him - MegaCarp's Log of Gainz

[MegaCarp]

So lets first off start with, I'm not very good at logging or typing things out. This could be a fact of A.) My head runs in 50 million directions B.) I'll be honest right now, I started one in the past and I realized that yea...it was nice to be checked in on, and initially I was, but you know...after awhile, you kind of get to be on your own. I didn't deal with it well, but I was sporadic at best and I can't expect the whole community to put in effort if I don't even remotely try to put in the same effort. C.) This is the big one, when I decide to post something, I don't want it censored. This is different from saying I don't want it moderated, but I feel that there are things I've seen and noticed from my own point of view that I keep myself from saying because its considered 'stepping on other people's toes'. I'm done with that...so here are the expectations and hopefully explains the title as well. 

 

Overall Goals:

 

Physical: 

A.) Improved Health

1. Lately I've really neglected stretching and its done a number on my knees and ankles. I've been battling this as well as a shoulder injury. So my goal is to spend at least 5 minutes lower and 5 minutes upper 3 times a week to start getting mobility back. Today I actually purchased knee sleeves that fit better and some Voodoo Floss to start getting my joints right. 
2. Working out more efficiently is something that has never been my friend, especially when it comes to weights in heavy lifting. I've kind of come to the point where I realize that in a given work out, I'm not going to be able to get to decent reps in the strength section if I wait until I feel 'decent' at a challenging weight. I just now need to realize that its important to get the sets done, so probably a lower weight, higher rep scheme in order to still build strength until an open gym where I can focus on a single lift. 
3. Checking in with the doctor - So, if you've ever met me IRL you'll notice I cough a lot. A lot of this has to do with having a lot of junk just sitting in my throat so I'm constantly trying to clear it. I'm not sure whats the cause (I try to mostly eat a Paleo w/dairy diet, but my cheat day I'll have beer and breads) but its not only a frustration to me, but my wife as well and I need to get it resolved. I also have a few other things I need to get looked at as I strive to get back to more complete health.

 

B.) Improved Eating - Yup, that guy up there is the typical me when I hit cheat days, and even though I log everything on mfp (sanuriel if you wish to connect) I still think I can improve upon this. My biggest weakness is my desire to eat burgers (yes I could easily tell myself to gorge on a 660 calorie Whopper from BK, or a 790 1/2 lb double from Wendy's, or a 780 Five Guys Bacon Burger, and yes...I won't just stop at one.) So I need to find ways to enjoy these burgers somehow because I'm being realistic, I just can't give it up. My initial steps are using ground chicken/turkey, but the bread could be tricky (no I will not spend $9 for a single loaf of bread...I'd rather do a hundred burpees). So suggestions would be nice. I guess overall I need to find a way to fill my hungers of sweet things without going insanely overboard. I feel i need this as I want to drop from around 220 to a nice 200 by summer time. 

 

 

C.) Getting back to enjoying lifting and working out in general -  This has been my greatest challenge, and with the previously mentioned knee/ankle injury, not having enough time to fully lift, and trying to get my weight down, I've stopped enjoying working out. Some of it has been the injuries that I've sustained, but one thing that really held me up was when my prosthetic broke last year (kinda like what happened to Mr. Potatohead there). My prosthetic repairs used to be very costly on my old insurance and also required me to burn sick time to get the appointments in. So I tried very hard to be very conservative in my lifting and not break anything. This has severely hurt lifts I used to love like the deadlift. Now that I'm not doing that lift as much, I get all bummed out because I remember the power I used to create and joy I had when I lifted big. Another thing that comes with my prosthetic breaking as it had was a possible realization that I may have reached the limits of my arm and I might no longer be able to get 'gains' there. Meanwhile, I watched other athletes just blow right by me, and there's nothing I can do. So yes...getting back to that happy place would be nice. 

 

 

D.) Censorship - Often times, I see things that I just can't support. I'll admit it, I'm not your warm and cuddly guy. I will not pat you on the head every time you find a way to do something construed as good. I find often times we live in an enabling and settling society where we've adopted things we call norms now because enough people have picked up the habits and no one has really stood up against it. What do I mean and how does it relate to here? First, I don't go on threads a lot because I feel like I see nerds who try and try and then they get comfortable because they get lifted up. They stop trying or address it as issues with time, injury, or other such things. Yea, I'll admit, these things come up, in fact, I didn't go to the gym last night because the workout time wasn't convenient to my schedule. I will say though, I was wrong, and I still should have done something. As for injuries, if you're taking care of it properly it should heal up, and while it does, do things that don't inflame it, but still strive to go hard. I had a buddy at my gym who told me he couldn't row because pulling hurt his arm. I had to explain to him that he still had another good one. Same guy, watches me work out and sees my adaption of my arm length on push ups and puts the same adaptation under his elbow so he can still do it.... So yea, my goal here, to be honest with people about how I see things, but also to not be at such a level that you're just being a jerk. It also applies to me outside of here as I'm trying to resolve some issues in my family where the past has done a real number on me. Right now, I'm trying to write a note to one family member in particular that really hurt me emotionally and mentally over the years. The deadline for that is the day my son is born in mid-April. 

 

 

My final goal is simple, and this is 3 times a week. Just post things here 3 times a week. Maybe its a workout, maybe its a meal I wasn't real proud I ate, maybe its just telling you guys how I'm doing mentally, or it could be just an update on life in general, but I'm shooting for 3 days, and I'd like people to keep me to that. I may not know all of you, in fact, I probably know very few of you, but I still think if you're in on keeping me plugging along, I can at least be there enough to tell you how I'm doing. So I really appreciate any and all who want to help out. I'll probably not post pics of myself just because I really hate pics of me, but who knows, things might change in time. 

 

 

[MegaCarp]

Last night I hit the gym in a firm effort to fix my squats. I had told myself I wouldn't lift heavy because I was going to focus on mechanics. I chose to work out with some guys I knew were going to put up about a 100 less than I could have gotten, but it let me focus on my work. So at the end of doing 4x5 Pause Front Squats at 185, I feel better about my form since I really focused on pushing up through my butt. 

 

This morning I started working to get my legs back underneath me by rolling my left leg out because of all the knee problems I had recently. I've noticed my IT band is extremely tight in that leg so after I get a haircut tonight I'll probably start hammering on that. Food wasn't horribly bad yesterday except I had a Camembert cheese (that I would suggest if you like nutty tastes, but is like a Brie. I'm thinking of using some ground mustard to possibly take the edge off of it.) on Garlic toast instead of my regular meal. I'm not sure I'm real proud of that, but I also hate wasting food and I enjoy trying new foods. Still, the scale said I lost 2.4 pounds, and I bet some of that is due to rowing 250 calories at Crossfit because we're stuck to a silly 100,000 in a month thing...Lets just say...its fucking dumb.  

[MegaCarp]

Yesterday...oh yesterday sucked hard at the gym and on the food. I'll start with the food and try to keep it chronological. Then I'm going to post a rant/complaint, why? Because I can. 

 

So food, usually trying to ride the 1850 cals/day train...yesterday forgot soup and after working out, barely survived eating my protein pudding and drinking my beer. So end of the day roughly 500 calories short...Yea that kinda screwed me over because once I got to the gym...I decided to be Mr. Row for All the Calories. End of the session I had rowed for 380, but this did not include the 30 burpees on the side, the 2 sets of 3 weight pull ups I got completed (Yes this is a fault in Crossfit...too much crammed into a small time after you really go up in weight), the warm up (that usually doesn't warm me up) and several dips and 135 lb O/H squats. So yup, I really extended myself. 

 

Now for stretching, I really didn't do much outside of a hot shower where I let my IT band get warmed up, hopefully fix that tonight. 

 

Now my rant...ok I have two rants actually... first.. and this will give you background to me. I have two brothers and a mother who worked a lot, and my dad drove semi. I can remember coming home and upon entering the door, my mother would lambaste him with the injustices committed while he was gone. Let me draw this out for you, don't do this...don't ambush someone if they enter your presence with negativity. I see this occur in the vice versa where someone enters a place and without prompting, instantly starts complaining. I'm sorry you had a bad day, but your negative waves do not need to germinate here. Take them and go play in traffic. 

 

My other rant has to do with pole vaulting over mouse turds, mountains out of mole hills, and the definition of 'a little'. I dunno if you don't understand this, but the physical body does not operate linearly. You also do not consume calories linearly typically. So because of that, your weight is not linear. Recently I've seen friends, family, and acquaintances complain about small fluctuations in weight, and then also state that they overstepped 'a little'. To some, that's just having a beer with dinner...thats a little. To some thats devouring a whole Bigfoot Pizza Hut Pizza and telling yourself you have 20 meals at least to get it right. So, whats the definition of 'a little', and please...be honest with yourself because in the end...even if you don't care...you are the one it matters to. 

[MegaCarp]

So...the high points...I had a great weekend with my wife despite us both having colds. We saw copious amounts of people all weekend and I started working on putting my touches on my son's room. Am I excited to meet my son, I wish I could squee and say 'Oh yeah' but its funny how one of my wife and I's recent friends explain it. For me...there's really no change. It was nice though sitting in his room as I put the knobs on his bureau thinking of things we'll eventually do together that I didn't get to do growing up. 

 

So, exercise...yea, that did not go great other than all the walking I did going from place to place, and the eating was bad..I'm not calling it little because Saturday...there was quiche, and I ate it, because I was seeing friends I had not in awhile and I won't come off as I superior jerk because of my dietary choices. We met another group of friends that night and they had breads and spaghetti...again..I won't insult them because it was honestly a very big deal to them to host people (even if some people cancelled on them...showed up later anyway...then sat on the couch crocheting..I have no issues against crocheting but its the fact that it closed the person off from being talked to or made any contact with.Sorry...I warned you all...there would be rants. 

 

Sunday...Sunday I tried very hard to eat well as I gobbled multiple chicken burgers, but then I crapped out while having combos and then later a large bag of PB M&Ms that made me stomach feel like a raw sewage plant...well I guess effectively it was, but the feeling is horrid. I just looked at my mfp, and I think my sole focus needs to be ensuring protein. I'm so bad about it that I take a bad break on Saturdays and Sundays. So here's to being awesome on protein (I get roughly 100 to 120 g if I'm not trying, but I need to hit 200 g regularly). 

 

Mobility - YES! The Voodoo floss came in and I started really wrapping my left knee. I have to say, it does feel worlds better than before, but still feeling gingerish about going crazy with it yet. I also decided to try my ankle. I think since its been messed up so long, it'll take a longer time, but hey...why not start trying to fix it today? So good things in my mobility future I hope. 

[MegaCarp]

So today, I've decided to go the 'Drowning Man' path with my water consumption. Usually I end up around 62-64 ounces of water, but with two 16 oz cups of coffee in between...Well screw this...this is day 1 of the drowning man and we are currently at 122 ounces of water, no coffee, and another 18 ounces to go before end of the day. I'm going to really give this a go for the next 2 weeks to see how it works for me. Why such a drastic change...because I struggle with food and drink and I want to get feeling like a real human being. 

 

Last night, I felt crappy while hang cleaning 75 lbs, my right shoulder ached as the tips of bone would bump against bone, and I know I can do more, but it just didn't feel good. This is why Crossfit needs to get back to being fun again. Being sore is one thing, but aching to no end is another...but I think I've done it to myself. 

[MegaCarp]

Hmm, really struck out last week in keeping up with this thing. I better work on that. So lets handle what I feel is the good news. I've been keeping up very well with my drowning man concept except over this Saturday and Sunday and I still think I made decent work on that (never mind the fact that I am certain that all the alcohol I drank over the weekend more than likely nulled that out.) So today, like every other Monday, I'm 'back on the wagon'. My food consumption wasn't that great either as I had tasty treats at my Crossfit box's 5 year anniversary. It was neat, but I have limit control issues, and then last night my wife wanted sushi and so we got sushi, but I also added some ribs and Lo Mein...again...limit control issues. 

 

Working out has been decent. I tried doing overhead press and maxed out at 185, and then started playing with my bench. Again got to 185 comfortably, but then just ran out of gas. Of course my current schedule is getting rearranged by the arrival of my son as it draws nearer. No, his coming does not bother me as some people seem to try to read in my statements. My frustration sometimes comes out when flexibility is questioned by someone as rigid as a 2 x 4. So yea, thats where its at...I'm not a ultimately grumpy guy...I just like level playing field and people who don't try to earn wealth on nothing...

 

Anyway, more later, Happy Monday

[MegaCarp]

So today's post is going to be more morose, so its my preemptive warning to try to save you from hearing about this. If you want, I'll throw some junk on the end of a recent workout and you can skip down there. 

 

[Will be added later when I can sort my thoughts into something where I don't hesitate to say what is actually happening and not try to talk in code or obscure reference] 

 

So on Tuesday it was probably one of the best days I've had in awhile, deadlift day. Yes, I'm sorry...I live for the deadlift, and I hadn't done any real reps in about 4 months, so it felt amazing to really start trying to get my juices going. Of course for me that's pulling 455 like its NBD. I really wanted to shoot for 485, but I also knew I had to do 3 rounds of 12-24-12 of 225 lb deadlifts, jump rope (should be doubles, but I'm not even really trying anymore...its just waaay too frustrating), and hand stand push ups (my goal was to get at least half of them without any pad under my head...I fell two short. Regardless, nice lifting day. I worked out Wednesday as well, but it was press at 8 rep sets and a silly rowing pull up thing...so meh. 

[Rosiesan]

So today's post is going to be more morose, so its my preemptive warning to try to save you from hearing about this. If you want, I'll throw some junk on the end of a recent workout and you can skip down there.

[Will be added later when I can sort my thoughts into something where I don't hesitate to say what is actually happening and not try to talk in code or obscure reference]

So on Tuesday it was probably one of the best days I've had in awhile, deadlift day. Yes, I'm sorry...I live for the deadlift, and I hadn't done any real reps in about 4 months, so it felt amazing to really start trying to get my juices going. Of course for me that's pulling 455 like its NBD. I really wanted to shoot for 485, but I also knew I had to do 3 rounds of 12-24-12 of 225 lb deadlifts, jump rope (should be doubles, but I'm not even really trying anymore...its just waaay too frustrating), and hand stand push ups (my goal was to get at least half of them without any pad under my head...I fell two short. Regardless, nice lifting day. I worked out Wednesday as well, but it was press at 8 rep sets and a silly rowing pull up thing...so meh.

Hope things are going OK.

Sent from my XT1254 using Tapatalk

[MegaCarp]

Things aren't too bad, I've been tracking my macros on an excel sheet along with my weight...LOL I've learned that I hate drinking water on the weekends, but love eating carbs in those moments. I've been trying a program that allows me to slowly 're-up' my calories since I've held myself in deficit for so long. My workouts have been coming along better since the recent bump up, but the weight has slowly been sliding off.