Jothra Conquers the Mystery Shack!

[Jothra]

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

     Seconds after Jothra had picked up the ratty old journal and re-entered his house, the rain started pouring in buckets. Damp and unfortunate, sure, but hardly foreboding.
     Jothra was a fairly skeptical person, despite having spent quite some time in a place with cardboard-winged flying people and extant dinosaurs in top hats. So when he found the journal full of descriptions of strange creatures, he was about to dismiss it outright.
     Until he found a page about a portal.
     According to the book, Jothra's Rebellion-provided home was located directly on top of the former site of a large dimensional rift, and a bunch of things had come through.
     Things too weird for this place? This was definitely a problem...the kind of problem Jothra intended to solve.
 

 
     So, I think it's rather telling that in a world in which almost every single person now carries a camera for almost 100% of their waking time, there is still an absolute dearth of evidence for Bigfoot. But mysterious creatures sure make for good television!
 

     It's too bad the next episode is the series finale, but at least it's ending before it has a chance to fizzle out or something.

1.) Main Fitness Quest
My three goal-achieving-type-little-goals-that-add-up-to-a-bigger-goal-goals.

i.) Mine, shovel, chop, and hoe except on S Days (Saturdays, Sundays, and Special Days).
 

 
Shovelglove! Shugging is a good time. I have recently developed the ability to complete my whole routine in exactly 14 minutes. If I get it done faster, I'll add more reps. I am quite happy with the 22 lb. hammer. Easy scoring: __/20. [+2 STR | +2 STA]

ii.) Ride the Getaway Golf Cart! Except it's actually a bicycle. I don't own any golf carts.
 

Ride a bicycle for 30 minutes except, as above, on S Days. Unless I want to. No rule about intensity, and no upward time limit. I've been going to town on my Modified Thunderbolt Grease-Slapper of a stationary bike, and the mountain bike has been behaving. Also, the way the weather's behaving, I might be back on the road bike sooner than I thought. __/20. [+2 STA | +2 DEX | +1 CHA]

iii.) Stick to an all-gnome diet. It's basically paleo, and also gnomes are gluten and lactose free.
 

 
Actually, I'll just eat at a calorie deficit as if to lose 1 lb. per week. This is a deficit of 500 calories a day. It more or less worked last time, and wasn't terribly taxing. __/28. [+2 CON | +2 WIS]

2.) LIFE SIDE QUEST
Read every day. With an important difference.
 

 
I'm in a play. For the first half of the challenge, I'll be reading from that script a lot. After that, the play will be over, and I can go more free-form. __/28. [+2 CHA]

As per normal, I'm going to determine scores based on percentage ranges, more or less like on my childhood report cards.
A = 86-100% | B = 73-85% | C = 66-72% | D = 51-65% | F = 0-50%
 
3) MOTIVATION
 

 
 
 
 
 
 

...

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

I absolutely could not think of a thematically appropriate way to include this image, so here it is anyway.

[Lightning]

Best.Theme.Ever.

Also shove glove is cool and the all gnome diet sounds lovely. Subbing!

[Jothra]

Best.Theme.Ever.

Also shove glove is cool and the all gnome diet sounds lovely. Subbing!

Hooray!

Fun fact: the theme happened because the blue pine hat arrived in the mail just as I was thinking about themes.

[Lightning]

I went to an anime convention a couple of months ago and my daughter was Mabel and I went as Wendy.

[Y-Not]

Subbed and looking forward to it.

[Jothra]

I promise, my start wasn't as inauspicious as it looks.

[brianhicks]

Biking! Yes! Following.

[Nnimn]

I promise, my start wasn't as inauspicious as it looks.

 

You must be off living life again. *tsk, tsk* Gotta be careful with that stuff, it can really suck up your time...

[Jothra]

This is a thing, apparently.

     Mystery Journal, p. 1:

     There were gnomes in the house! Gnomes! They were like a vermin infestation! How do you get rid of gnomes? Borax and sugar? Some kind of pied piper? Enya?

     I tried to chase them off into the woods, but they all stood on each other's shoulders to make a sort of giant gnome Voltron. I admit, I admired their teamwork, but they very nearly crushed me to death. It's a good thing I've been cycling a lot, or I would be about a mile wide and one molecule thick.

     In the end, I managed to knock the whole mess over with a really big leaf blower. I'm not sure where the leaf blower came from, but I'll just go ahead and pretend it makes perfect sense.
 

 
i.) Mine, shovel, chop, and hoe: Yes. 1/20
ii.) Ride the Getaway Golf Cart! CCM Slim Gym. 1/20

iii.) Stick to an all-gnome diet. Yes. 1/28

iv.) Read every day. Script. 1/28

 

     No special notes.

[Jothra]

Strangely, not the most frightening thing around.

     Mystery Journal, p. 2:
     After asking around, I decided to track down the "Gobblewonker," a weird sea serpent people around here have been spotting semi-regularly. With all the giant slurpasaurs and things in the woods, I didn't expect much more trouble than usual.

     Well, I got what I expected. The Gobblewonker was a fake the whole time! The driver was some old coot with no sense of personal space. Or smell.

     This is just as well. Who needs another giant carnivorous reptile around here?

 

 
i.) Mine, shovel, chop, and hoe: Yes. 2/20
ii.) Ride the Getaway Golf Cart! Alt. 2/20
iii.) Stick to an all-gnome diet. Yes. 2/28
iv.) Read every day. Script. 2/28
 
     I wasn't getting to a bicycle, real or stationary, on yesterday's schedule. I walked more than 10 kilometres, though, so I'll take it.

[Jothra]

Strangely, not the most frightening thing around.

     Mystery Journal, p. 3:
     Everyone has at least one irrational fear. I'm not going to reveal mine here, but I will tell you that it was not Living Wax Statues What Want Me Not Alive No More. It still isn't. They weren't terribly fearsome once I found out they were susceptible to ordinary warmth from ordinary sunlight. They did nearly get the drop on me, sure, but I got lucky...and sometimes, that's enough. Wax Sherlock Holmes was too smart not to fall for a dough-heading trap to lure him outside. Hubris, man, hubris!

 

 
i.) Mine, shovel, chop, and hoe: Yes. 3/20
ii.) Ride the Getaway Golf Cart! Alt. 3/20
iii.) Stick to an all-gnome diet. Yes. 3/28
iv.) Read every day. Script. 3/28
 
     Again, no bike in my travel schedule. When the play's over, I'll do less subbing out. As is, my running around on stage is absolutely doing the trick.

     I think this may be the last day I have to limit myself to reading my script in my spare time. We'll see how I feel about my lines tomorrow.

[Lightning]

Just curious, what style of bike do you ride? I have a low-end racing bike that I love but, it seems to be bad for my back if I ride too often. I'm thinking of selling it and getting a comfort bike. Will miss the speed but I love a day spent on the bike trails.

[Jothra]

My road bike is an upgraded 2009 Trek 1.2. Most of its components have been slowly replaced over the years.

My mountain bike is a 2004 Kuwahara Eclipse. It feels like sitting in an easy chair on top of a tank. It spends most of its time winterized. Sadly, Kuwahara isn't a thing these days.

My stationary bike is a cheap Body Break branded friction pad thing I got at Wal-Mart. Its components have nearly all been replaced with hand-me-down real bike parts by now.

[Jothra]

There are no words.

     Mystery Journal, p. 4:
     Okay, I have seen some weird things since the Rebellion stuck me in this weird place, but I draw the line at ghosts. The two things haunting the store nearby seemed pretty ghost-like, but come on.

     I'm still trying to figure out exactly how I took care of the ghosts. All I remember is eating some kind of pop-rock candy knockoff, overdoing it, riding a hallucinatory crazy multiple-fisted flying dolphin monster, then waking up outside in a lamb costume with tired feet.

     But, hey, no more ghosts!

 

 
i.) Mine, shovel, chop, and hoe: Yes. 4/20
ii.) Ride the Getaway Golf Cart! Alt. 4/20
iii.) Stick to an all-gnome diet. No. 3/28
iv.) Read every day. Script. 4/28
 
     I finished lunch early, so I used the 14-pounder at school. It kind of felt like a toy, but I pushed hard anyway.

     I still kept to maintenance on food. It was a special occasion, so I'll take the hit.

[Lightning]

Couldn't find a 15-pounder

 

Thanks for the bike info.  I think I just need to find someone that will help me outfit my bike in a way that fits me.  The bike shops around me just sell, they don't really have anyone that is willing to alter bikes.

[RittenRemedy]

I'm so confused by this theme, but it seems fitting for Jothra's story. I imagine since gnomes spend a lot of time in forest undergrowth, they probably taste a lot like pork. But that spoiled pork that eats all the good food.

[Jothra]

Gravity Falls is a show about a small forest town absolutely saturated with mysterious and mythical occurrences. Each entry so far is referencing the basic plot of an episode of the show.

[Artemis]

 

 

 

iii.) Stick to an all-gnome diet. It's basically paleo, and also gnomes are gluten and lactose free.

 

So, I've never heard of this show before.   Do terrible things happen to all of the gnomes? what do they do that makes them an eligible food choice?  Honestly curious here, I've never seen GIF's quite like this.

 

I like the continuity across challenges that you have going on.  Shovelglove, biking, etc.  It's great to see all of the progress you're accomplishing.

[Jothra]

So, I've never heard of this show before.   Do terrible things happen to all of the gnomes? what do they do that makes them an eligible food choice?  Honestly curious here, I've never seen GIF's quite like this.

 

I like the continuity across challenges that you have going on.  Shovelglove, biking, etc.  It's great to see all of the progress you're accomplishing.

The gnomes pop up now and then. They're kind of jerks. Most of these gnome GIFs are from one episode. The farther I get into this challenge, though, the more I realize that Gravity Falls has a gif for almost everything.

As for challenge continuity, I readily admit that until I started shugging, I never managed to stick to a strength training program for more than a couple of months. Bicycles, on the other hand, have always been there.

[Jothra]

The Manotaurs have a very...um...particular view of what it means to be a man.

     Mystery Journal, p. 5:
     There are a few reasons I tend to think of myself as a pretty manly man. You know: I'm a Queen's Venturer, I swing sledgehammers around for exercise, and — this is the only really important one, really — I am, biologically speaking, totally a man.

     So, when I stumbled on a strange race of creatures in the woods, the Manotaurs, who prize virility above all else, I raised an uncertain eyebrow.

     The Manotaurs' need to prove their masculinity was so ridiculously overblown that I could hardly stand to be around them. Apparently it's not enough to be a rugged and well-meaning individual — they demanded that I prove myself my killing another creature called The Multi-Bear.

     Well, I did find Multi-Bear, but he seemed like a pretty decent person (thing? I don't even know), so I refused to go through with it. Now they're pretty much unwilling to talk to me anymore. I'm pretty sure they've gone back where they came from, so problem solved.

     Good riddance.

 

 
i.) Mine, shovel, chop, and hoe: No. 4/20
ii.) Ride the Getaway Golf Cart! Alt. 5/20
iii.) Stick to an all-gnome diet. Yes. 4/28
iv.) Read every day. Script. 5/28
 
     Missed shugging. This has two meanings, because I also missed shugging. Should've been more sure to pack my hammer before I left home.

[Jothra]

If there's one thing I've already learned, it's to beware of substitute Jothras.

     Mystery Journal, p. 6:
     Longtime followers might remember the evil mirror-version of me that eventually got devoured by a slurpasaur. Well, I think we all learned a valuable lesson about doubles, right?
     Right?
     So when I stumbled on a photocopier that could copy people, I should have been more careful not to copy myself. Even though the copy tried to convince me that he wanted to help me with my Rebellion training, I could tell something fishy was going on.
     Turns out he made a whole bunch of copies! There were Jothras coming out of my ears (his ears)! They swarmed over me, each trying to take my place...even poor Paper Jam Jothra.

Yeccccch.

 

     I lucked out, though, and found out the copies were all vulnerable to water. In another piece of good news, so was the copier. One of me is probably too many already.

 

 
i.) Mine, shovel, chop, and hoe: Off. 4/20
ii.) Ride the Getaway Golf Cart! Off. 5/20
iii.) Stick to an all-gnome diet. No. 4/28
iv.) Read every day. Script. 6/28
 
     Over maintenance on food. Must not do this too often. Fortunately, my weekdays were pretty strong.

[Jothra]

Joke's on him. I've never lived farther south than Lethbridge.

     Mystery Journal, p. 7:
     Today's mysterious mystery of mysterious mysteriousnes was some guy claiming to be a long-forgotten U.S. President. He tried to make me a Congressman, even though I am, technically speaking, Canadian.

     Then he started wandering around with no pants on, shouting at stop signs and tin cans.

     He got bored and left on his own. I give him maybe a week before he gets himself eaten by something.
 

 
i.) Mine, shovel, chop, and hoe: Off. 4/20
ii.) Ride the Getaway Golf Cart! Off. 5/20
iii.) Stick to an all-gnome diet. No. 4/28
iv.) Read every day. The Explorer's Guild by Jon Baird, with Kevin Costner and Stephen Meyer. Very cool. 7/28
 
     On maintenance today. I'm going to have to buckle down pretty hard if I want to do this thing properly.

[Lara]

Never heard of gravity falls. Will have to give it a try.

Good luck for your challenge! 

[RittenRemedy]

Not even ashamed that I'm hoping this is on Netflix. I seem to have fallen down the pit of British Noir and have since been attempting to climb out by watching Clone Wars.

I want to kill Asoka with fire.

[Y-Not]

Not even ashamed that I'm hoping this is on Netflix. I seem to have fallen down the pit of British Noir and have since been attempting to climb out by watching Clone Wars.

I want to kill Asoka with fire.

I'm guessing you aren't very far in? She gets better, honest!

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