Getting Back On The Horse

[Spark]

Come here, horse. Stand by this stump.

Wait. There's a ladder. That would work better.

Oh, hang on, a crane!

 

...shit. Where'd the horse go?

 

So I vanished from the forums, and not too long ago Dark_Raider went on a quest to find me to see if I was dead. I am not. Life sort of kicked me in the teeth a couple of times, and then inertia got hold of me. I do this.

 

My computer died, first. It caught some sort of corruption in the Windows program itself and slowly died of computer Alzheimer's as it lost the ability to find or recognize files. This made it difficult for me to post on here, and when it becomes difficult then it often becomes impossible for me thanks to inertia. I go a day without posting, and then it's just a little harder to post the next day. And so on.

 

I broke up with my lady about a month after that. There was a blue period.

 

By the time I got over the blue period I'd been gone so long that it was embarrassing to even come back. I'm really good at starting big, making noise, losing energy, and then slinking away without a word. DR found me and reminded me that no one here is perfect, and that the race is more about recovering from stumbles than cruising along on a silver cloud of perfection (exact words).

 

So now I'm back, from inner space. It's hard for me to come back, not for anything to do with anyone reading this, but because of my own issues. One of those issues is the regular assurance from my self-talk that no one wants to listen to me anyway. Screw that self-talk. I'll blather on and people can read or not, as they choose. So far it's made a writing career work for me, so whatevs.

 

I also haven't been exercising hardly at all. I've been eating...okay, at least well enough to maintain good scores on my diabetes issues and to not regain any of the weight I've lost. But it's time for me to get back on the horse, provided I can find a horse large enough to carry me.

 

Perhaps a mule.

 

Anyway. Monday I start up again with my daily battle. This will involve bodyweight workouts and kettlebells. It will be slow to start, mostly because I've let a lot of my conditioning simply go away. But yeah. I'm back. I probably won't be doing the challenges at least to start, mostly because I can't figure out the new format and how it relates to the character sheet. But whatever. Challenges don't make me a ranger. Rangers gonna range.

 

Glad to be back, no matter what my out of whack brain tells me.

[DarK_RaideR]

Yay Spark is back! *hug*

 

One of those issues is the regular assurance from my self-talk that no one wants to listen to me anyway.

LIES!

[Chris-Tien Jinn]

SPARK!!!  Welcome back, man!!!

 

[ShadowLion]

Spark! So glad you are back!

 

It's the dark side of rangerbrain, man. Don't listen to it. It lies and wheedles and whines and whispers cruel things. It makes snide remarks and tears down your hard work. Know it for what it is and then kick its butt. Hard. 

 

Sorry for your troubles. Life really sucks sometimes. But you are a Ranger and you're going to range!

 

Horses? Mules? Pshaw! Dragons and Pegasi and Gryphons, dear Spark. Let the battle begin...

[Spark]

Today: 3x10 bodyweight squats. It has been a freaking long time since I did anything like that, and it felt both good and a bit enervating; I spent the rest of the day stumbling from time to time thanks to a bit of leftover weakness. This is a good thing. =D

[ShadowLion]

[EricMN]

Damn glad you're back.

[Spark]

Thanks for the warm welcome, all. It means a lot. =)

 

Yesterday: I listened to my thighs and glutes whine about squats, mostly.

Today: I told my thighs and glutes to quit their damn whining and went on a half-mile walk. It felt good, but my wind isn't what it once was. Next time it's gonna be a full mile.

 

I also took some steps toward becoming a perhaps-more-normal person today. I auditioned for our little theater production of Oliver! I did a lot of little-theater stuff in high school and enjoyed it, but I haven't done any since coming back to my hometown a few years back. At first it was because I wasn't in good enough shape to stand there and emote or sing, but now that I'm in close-enough shape, it was my anxiety holding me back. Getting out of the house and into the truck was the hardest step, but once I got there things went fine. I auditioned for the villain, Bill Sykes, and did some singing. It was nice. Maybe I'll stop being a hermit, or at least not as much of one.

 

...I also went to my first-ever appointment with a therapist. We talked about some of my past and some of my present problems, and I explained that I was mostly there in an effort to learn some tools and techniques to deal with the black dog and associated anger. She felt that this was well within the range of possibility, and I left feeling optimistic about the whole thing. Time will tell, but I made it through the first appt without walking out, so that's a good start. Uh, for me, anyway.

 

Cheers! Tomorrow, thighs and glutes, we squat again. Oh, hush.

[DarK_RaideR]

A lot of bravery in that post, Spark. You did very very well

[Chris-Tien Jinn]

 

Congrats on taking huge steps toward your goals!!!  

[Spark]

Well, looks like I got the part of Mr. Bumble, the guy in charge of Oliver's orphanage in the play. Looks like fun; being a villain is always a good time, and there's at least one good song involved.

 

In other news, I spent a solid hour and a half working in the yard today, hauling fallen branches and using the post-hammer to...well, hammer posts into the ground. I think I might start doing that as part of a workout; it's pretty amazing and I look forward to being sore again.

 

Tomorrow: Deadpool, and then Hail Caesar. Cheers!

[SevenofSeven]

Welcome back Spark!

Wishing you all the best for your re-spawn! You are just awesome anyways.

[Chris-Tien Jinn]

I've heard good things about Deadpool ..... let me know what you think.

 

And yard work ---- yea!!!  

[ShadowLion]

Yay! Good steps, and big ones! 

 

Setting posts is a great workout. Let the offended muscles scream as much as they like - ought to be music to any villain's ears!

[Spark]

So I went and saw Deadpool.

Deadpool is one of those characters I've gradually grown to dislike, along with Gambit and Wolverine, because he's frikkin' everywhere. Overexposure, is the term. When I first heard that there would be a Deadpool movie, my response could be categorized as "on the cool side of lukewarm." The trailers made me think that it might not suck, as did various reports leaking onto the Intertubes. So I went.

This, my friends, is a perfect movie. It was everything that I'd ever liked about the character in the first place, rendered beautifully and, yes, well-acted by Ryan Reynolds. You remember when you first saw Mark Ruffalo playing Bruce Banner? It was that level of perfection, and this is coming from someone who disliked Reynolds and Deadpool both.

This movie has changed that attitude. From the opening SECONDS, when the credits referred to the star as "God's favorite idiot," it had me. It felt like reading a Deadpool comic, one of the ones where they were having fun instead of saying, "Hey look! He's popular, here's a comic with his name on it!" Yes, it is rated R, in the best possible fucking ways.

It also caused me to fall even more in love with Morena Baccarin, a trick I thought impossible.

Gina Carano, the lady who plays Angel Dust, deserves an honorable mention as one of the most gorgeous women I have ever seen on a film screen. She did a hell of a job with her part, too, well done.

So yeah. Wins all around. Cookies for everyone. I want to go back.

[EricMN]

Well, looks like I got the part of Mr. Bumble, the guy in charge of Oliver's orphanage in the play. Looks like fun; being a villain is always a good time, and there's at least one good song involved.

 

In other news, I spent a solid hour and a half working in the yard today, hauling fallen branches and using the post-hammer to...well, hammer posts into the ground. I think I might start doing that as part of a workout; it's pretty amazing and I look forward to being sore again.

 

Tomorrow: Deadpool, and then Hail Caesar. Cheers!

 

Villains can be a spectacular romp - you almost can't go overboard with some parts.

 

Post-hammers are killers. I suspect you could do an afternoon of those and your slosh pipe and you'd outwork me on most days.

 

So I went and saw Deadpool.

Deadpool is one of those characters I've gradually grown to dislike, along with Gambit and Wolverine, because he's frikkin' everywhere. Overexposure, is the term. When I first heard that there would be a Deadpool movie, my response could be categorized as "on the cool side of lukewarm." The trailers made me think that it might not suck, as did various reports leaking onto the Intertubes. So I went.

This, my friends, is a perfect movie. It was everything that I'd ever liked about the character in the first place, rendered beautifully and, yes, well-acted by Ryan Reynolds. You remember when you first saw Mark Ruffalo playing Bruce Banner? It was that level of perfection, and this is coming from someone who disliked Reynolds and Deadpool both.

This movie has changed that attitude. From the opening SECONDS, when the credits referred to the star as "God's favorite idiot," it had me. It felt like reading a Deadpool comic, one of the ones where they were having fun instead of saying, "Hey look! He's popular, here's a comic with his name on it!" Yes, it is rated R, in the best possible fucking ways.

It also caused me to fall even more in love with Morena Baccarin, a trick I thought impossible.

Gina Carano, the lady who plays Angel Dust, deserves an honorable mention as one of the most gorgeous women I have ever seen on a film screen. She did a hell of a job with her part, too, well done.

So yeah. Wins all around. Cookies for everyone. I want to go back.

 

I believe I'm the last geek in the Western hemisphere who hasn't seen this flick, and I desperately need to remedy that.

[Chris-Tien Jinn]

 

 

 

I believe I'm the last geek in the Western hemisphere who hasn't seen this flick, and I desperately need to remedy that.

 

I need to catch up too.   My excuse is that we don't have a movie theater nearby .....

[DarK_RaideR]

Didn't wanna spoil it for you, but I'm glad you watched Deadpool and loved it. Your description is pretty much everything I had in mind about it

[Spark]

I need to catch up too.   My excuse is that we don't have a movie theater nearby .....

 

I went to the nearest one, which is about 80 miles from here. There are some movies that are just worth the trip. Deadpool is one of them.

[Chris-Tien Jinn]

I went to the nearest one, which is about 80 miles from here. There are some movies that are just worth the trip. Deadpool is one of them.

 

It's on the calendar for Sunday!!!