Everanything: The Edge of the Forest

[Merrin]

Hi! I'm Ever, and I've been a Rebel for a little over one year. Being here has helped me accomplish a lot of things. I've been off soda for an entire year, thanks to a PvP. I'm not super competitive, but the encouragement of others was a big help in that regard. Several challenges have helped me lose and keep off 20 lbs. I discovered keto, and learned I'm too tall for aerial, but that walking is actually really nice, and lifting heavy stuff once in a while can be fun.

For the last month, and the next two, there's been some divorce process that's taken up a lot of my emotional resources. It's probably the dumbest and most needlessly stressful thing I've done in quite some time. Beast has shown little interest in how this has been affecting me, arguing "You cast me in this role", so it's somehow now perfectly acceptable to act like a Disney villain to one's former partner. If I end up ranting about this, I'll use spoiler tags.

Last year saw a lot of great things, too. March was getting my second tattoo. April was my first live show of Night Vale, and the first time I've traveled on my own since college. June, Ifrit got to see Titus for the first time, and I loved introducing him to the comedy of someone who really helped get me through some dark places. July was the trip to the Sand Dunes with Ifrit, someplace I'd been meaning to go for several years. I could go on, but it's easily one of the better years I've had in a while.

Staying positive and keeping my health on track will help manage the stress, and ensure that I'm taking care of myself.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Following along. I got divorced last year, sorry you're having to go through it this year.

[Merrin]

 

Mirror, Mirror: Become the fairest in the land. Daily face routine, morning or night. Twice-weekly spot check and moisturize. Weekly mask. +3 CHA
 

 

Home...Cooking: Stick to keto on work days. Cook lunch, dinner, and dessert items on non-work days so that better food will be more convenient. Log excessive non-keto snacks if needed. Continue to avoid liquid calories. Consider planning out snacks for long shift days. +3 CON

 

The Thousand Mile Forest: Walking to and from work is life right now. It's too cold to scooter, even to the train station, and it won't save me much time that way anyhow. Go outside on non-work days for at least half an hour. Walk the Part-Time Puppy if applicable. Drag Ifrit out to go play Ingress, if applicable. +3 STA


That'll Be 100 Gold Coins: Update percentages and stick to new budget for LQ: Eliminate Travel Debt. Pay back savings first/empty out savings, close all accounts. Research if Beast is needed for this. Check numbers with Ifrit to make sure I will not be broke/sad/hungry.

[Merrin]

Following along. I got divorced last year, sorry you're having to go through it this year.

Glad to have you on board, Tank. I appreciate any votes of solidarity and/or total insanity that may be needed.

[Merrin]

Damn you, chocolate pudding pastry. Why are you so delicious?

[pureleeawesome]

I feel you. There were hot cross buns at work yesterday >.>

 

 

I had one, it was delicious.

 

 

Following along. Go everanything, go!

 

[Merrin]

OMG Lee I do not know why but I am absolutely dying. Probably because I heard the theme song in my head with the words and everything.

[Merrin]

Ps I ate the entire pudding roll. I have no regrets.

[Merrin]

Mirror Mirror: Face scrub yesterday in the shower, followed up with moisturizer and blemish gel. Did quick eye-makeup and all-over swipe cleanser today. Bought new masks at Walgreens today. Will check on spots tomorrow.

 

Home Cooking: Monday, as previously confessed, there was a chocolate pudding pastry. It was delicious. Today was far better on food, I got up and only had some BP coffee and water before errands, then got home and had eggs, avocado, and prosciutto. (I am a creature of habit.) Tonight I have sausage and peas for lunch, and I've stuck to sugar free candies and energy drinks so far.

 

I bought weird flavor chips at the Walgreens and Ifrit insisted on hiding them from me until tomorrow.

 

TM Forest: I got a small reprieve from my shin splints. Caught the train last night, and tonight I have the car. Tomorrow should be super nice, so we should go for walkies.

 

Gold Coins: Cashed first paycheck (woo!) Going to move money back into savings, pay phone bill, pay student loan for the month. Still need to check my initial numbers.

[Merrin]

MM: Face scrub today + moisturizer and blemish stuff.

 

HC: Have all ingredients now to prepare several mug cakes for the weekend. Today's experiments will be Chocolate Cardamom, Bourbon Pumpkin, and Coffee Chia.

 

100GC: Need to go to the bank to deposit money.

 

TMF: Painted doors and cleaned the garage for three hours this morning. Will likely continue this afternoon if the good weather holds, so we can leave the gate up and let the doors dry a second coat.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Sounds like another great day. Those mug cakes sound amazing.

[pureleeawesome]

I bought weird flavor chips at the Walgreens and Ifrit insisted on hiding them from me until tomorrow.

 

Good job Ifrit! (PS: what flavour chips?)

 

HC: Have all ingredients now to prepare several mug cakes for the weekend. Today's experiments will be Chocolate Cardamom, Bourbon Pumpkin, and Coffee Chia.

 

TMF: Painted doors and cleaned the garage for three hours this morning. Will likely continue this afternoon if the good weather holds, so we can leave the gate up and let the doors dry a second coat.

 

 

 

Nice job with the painting Did it end up getting finished and how did your walk go?

[Merrin]

They were Gouda and Chive crisps. I like the weird flavours that Lays does.

 

Walkies did not happen, tho they should've. The sun and bright air would've been good for me. But, alas, depressive thoughts hit, so I was in a downturn for a little while.

 

Sans explanation, I'm at about 70% depressed, 29% angry, and 1% acceptance. And that 1% has got me a little freaked out. It was thanks to a pop song, and then several more, all that got me thinking about relationships and changes and love and stuff. (Btw Good Riddance can be really depressing if you're in the wrong mood.) I know that eventually I'll be okay with all of it, and that it will be another chapter in my life, one that has closed. Still. It's...weird. How can you be mad about something ending, and accept that it is?

 

How do you find a way to stop thinking about that chapter? Right now, Beast is in Rome, teaching at a thing. I am...a mixture of sad and disappointed and resentful. Rome was part of our honeymoon. I'd always had this 'rule' for my poly, that certain things were specific and special to us. A restaurant. A song. A laser tag arena. Those sorts of things. It caused fights because he never really cared about this concern of mine, with poly, that it wasn't fair to expect that he only take me to the nice whiskey bar, other people like whiskey, but here I thought poly meant people sharing different interests, so our interests would be respected. I guess I thought bigger things were different, but no. He leapt at a chance to invite himself to Rome. Rome, where I was sick with a sinus fever but we stayed half the evening at the Trevi because he wanted pictures. Rome, where I wanted to shop the piazza by the Steps, but he wanted to take pictures of tourists for hours. I guess I shouldn't be mad. He clearly wanted to be there with other people more than he did with me. So now he can take that opportunity.

 

And I can be hurt about it if I want to.

 

The front door was finished and hung before the end of the day. The bedroom doors are dry and just need to be put up.

 

I ran out of butter for mug cakes! But the Cocoa Cardamom smells amaaaaze.

[Merrin]

The Cardamom Cake, she was eh no good. Too much a spicy.

But really it was almost awful. In better news I had bulletproof tea for dinner.

[Merrin]

TM Forest: Walked to the bus stop this morning. Had to speed walk over to work because the 5:13 bus seems to not actually exist on weekends.

Mirror: Remembered to do a quick cold cleanse last night. Tonight will be face mask time.

Cooking: I really wish I had made that quiche the other day. I seem to be procrastinating on cooking. No more! It's a new week, so I'll be trying to work on this goal a lot harder. Also my macros are completely screwed for today thanks to some sneaky sugar (silly me eating processed meats). Tonight will be salad night for sure.

Gold Coins: Paid phone bill. Still haven't gotten to the bank.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Sorry you're having a rough time re: spoiler tag, things will eventually get better.

[Merrin]

Sorry you're having a rough time re: spoiler tag, things will eventually get better.

Thanks. It's just weird, knowing that these are akin to the grief stages. Are you still processing after some time?

[Merrin]

Are we out of the woods yet are we out of the woods yet are we out of the woods yet are we out of the woods

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Thanks. It's just weird, knowing that these are akin to the grief stages. Are you still processing after some time?

Sure, The divorce was granted last July, finalized in August. I also moved out in August (we had agreed to live together till then to save money). I'm still healing and forgiving. 

[Merrin]

Sure, The divorce was granted last July, finalized in August. I also moved out in August (we had agreed to live together till then to save money). I'm still healing and forgiving. 

 

Hugs.

[Merrin]

If I haven't mentioned it yet, this new job has me on a weird sort of 2-1-2 schedule. Two days of 12 hr shifts, then a day off (technically) then two nights of 8 hr shifts. I forgot completely to update over my 3-day weekend.

 

Home Cooking: For Tuesday night's lunch, I made a chia pudding, because lunches are where I get most of my fibre, but my salad had gone off.

 

I will gladly try anything once, and twice to be sure.

 

Chia pudding is gross. And I am very sure.

 

I made a pack of salmon burgers for supper for the whole week, along with a tray of chia chips (which still NEED MOAR CRUNCHY than I'd hoped but really good.) Thursday was movie night with a bunch of friends, wherein I brought guac (with extra chia and pre-made salt mix) and ate it with celery and avoided the entire CASE of soda and yet another CASE of chips. SO THERE.

 

I'm going Hardcore Keto until this current weight plateau breaks. That drop from 50g to only 20g of carbs has been rough. Why are there carbs in everything? Why? However! I did find a big bag of SF chocolates and some super low-sugar can coffee (if you know me you know they are my greatest diet enemy). I have two for today, as treats, to keep me going.

 

Thousand Mile Forest: Ifrit and I spent a good amount of yesterday in the yard, enjoying the sunshine. Tuesday night I drove down. It's still too cold to scooter b/c Colorado won't make up its mind.

 

Mirror Mirror: Did face mask last night and also Wednesday. Some of the major stress breakouts are finally clearing up.

 

Gold Coins: I dislike my new paycheck system, but I have to deal with it until my name changes back and I can make all new accounts. That said, I got a check written out to Beast (because I elect to have receipts to cover my ass).

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

That work schedule sounds brutal, good job keeping up with your goals, don't give up.

[Merrin]

Thanks Tank! I'll do my best!

[Merrin]

Thousand Mile Forest: It turns out the 5:13 bus does exist...another five stops down from my regular stop. So my walk was a little longer and I was at work on time. Ifrit picked me up b/c St Pat's.

 

Home Cooking: Smoothie for breakfast and salad for lunch. This cold brew can coffee is actually too bitter, and that's saying something. Salmon burger and avocado for dinner.

 

Gold Coins: Deposit money into bank, make all payments.

 

Mirror Mirror: Spot treatment.

 

To Do!

 

Clean/Craft/Construct: The cross-stitch poster could use some love. So could the kitchen counters. I'll try for both depending on spooooons.

[Elastigirl]

I never could get myself to like chia pudding either. What recipe do you use for the salmon cakes? Do you pre-cook them and just warm them later or do you just cook at the last minute?