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Tourennatrix Finds her Happy Place


tourennatrix

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Because life has felt a bit like SadSherlock lately...

 

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Another format change woo! I'll probably be going back to the laser-focus format in the future because I really like the concept. But after having 2 challenges in a row "foiled" due to waves of depression, I'm going to try another format and kick it down to "no-fail" mode. It's GRAB BAG time! The grab bag will consist of various things I can do to earn points throughout the week (scored Saturday thru Friday) which focus on long-term happiness (physical, mental, emotional health). Each week, points can be allocated towards different rewards, which focus a little more on short-term happiness. Even if I score really low in a week, I should still have something to look forward to on the weekend, and any unspent points can roll over to the next week. There will be 3 of these rewards. At the end of the challenge, the total accumulated points will be tallied and there will be an awesome reward at the end.

 

Let's get going shall we?

 

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The Tasks:

 

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The Weekly Rewards:

 

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The End of Challenge Rewards:

 

 

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Ohh, I really like this! Nice point system, looks very motivating.

(Also yay for Sherlock :D)

 

Welcome (back!) to the challenge(s)! Glad to have you around for the ride! I'm super excited for this one :) My challenges tend to be riddled with Portuguese code-speak as I train Capoeira a few times a week, so if you stick around and it gets super confusing just let me know XD I'm happy to (over)explain things or find pictures and video of what I mean :P

 

***

 

Day 1: 6 points

Went for a walk with Sister 

DuoLingo

Khan Academy

Journal

 

Today's agenda:

Nurse a sneaking sore throat into submission

Leisurely stroll to the store

Yard work!

Clean off my workspace so I can-

Budget

Go to the gym for filming!

More Yard Work!

 

Hopefully aforementioned sore throat doesn't impede on the active stuff. It started up yesterday and I was hoping it was just part of that silly hangover thing, but it seems to be lingering a little more than it should :P

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Behehe, apparently this sore throat is more of a headcold or something. glooorious. In the interest of not making it worse, I will be foregoing the trip to the gym (cardio and inversions are probably not the best for congestion and such). Most of the rest of the day seems to be going about on schedule though. I might not be doing much for the second bout of yard work, but I'm pretty happy with what we've got done so far. I mean... yard work in February, we should be happy that anything is getting done :P 

 

So, alas, no filming (still) but, in the spirit of this challenge: 

 

No day is a failure!

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Day 2: 16 points

 

Not sick enough to sleep all day, so I was bored and pretty much went through my task list and picked things that sounded fun. They were typically only fun for a little while, so I went through a lot of them... 

 

Of note: I took a really short nap. I had 2 types of soup, orange juice, coconut water, cough drops, and sudafed (the real stuff). I would have had tea but I can't stand the stuff and it sits weird in my tummy. I stayed away from anything strenuous after the yard work, but in the evening I got sick of being stiff and sore from sitting all day so I did some ultra gentle yoga and meditated for a bit. Husband has decreed that if I'm not feeling a marked improvement when I wake up (or, half an hour later because I imagine I'll feel like ass right when I wake up no matter how much I recover) then I am calling in to work sick because we hate it when people go into work when they're sick. That's what sick days are for. Protecting your coworkers from all your nasty plagues :P HOWEVER, still hoping for a swift recovery because this is just annoying and I want to go play! 

 

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I love this format! Sorry you aren't feeling so hot though. 

Raptron, alot assassin

67666564636261605958 575655545352515049484746454443424140393837363534333231302928272625242322212019181716151413121110987 | 6 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 1

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Good gravy if I had a nickel for every time you guys wished me to feeling better. .. winter is so dumb.[emoji14]

I'm feeling marginally better, enough to be at work pumping myself full of fluids, though I'll probably be heading home at lunch due to brainfog

Sent via carrier pigeon

 

:D

 

Brainfog is the reason why I volunteered for I don't know what earlier today at work. Ugh. Hope my boss is okay with whatever it is.

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:D

 

Brainfog is the reason why I volunteered for I don't know what earlier today at work. Ugh. Hope my boss is okay with whatever it is.

 

HAH! Good luck with that!

 

I don't think my supervisor was too thrilled with my decision to take the afternoon off, but damn it someone has to stand up for using sick time when they're actually sick. Bleh. 

 

I... I have DOMS from yoga. My brain finds this really confusing because srsly I've been all full of BAMF training, what's so strenuous about downward dog and- ooooh riiiight, chaturanga dadasana... I don't think i've done any real push ups (or knee push ups for that matter) in over a week. Woops. >.>

 

I'm going to go curl up and wish I could sleep the rest of the day away now >.<

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Heyyy... On a whim I decided to do a silly thing. Video time! I of course have loads and loads of critiques about it, but the only one I'll mention is I'm SORRY about the volume. If not for the sore throat, I would have spoken louder (and with more energy and excitedness. The pitfalls of making a video about being sick while being sick. Ok I'll shut up about it now...)[emoji14]So without further ado, I present:

How to practice Capoeira when you're sick

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5H6BXmYGNSY

Here's hoping for massive improvement tomorrow so I can do some real movement[emoji14]

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I don't think my supervisor was too thrilled with my decision to take the afternoon off, but damn it someone has to stand up for using sick time when they're actually sick. Bleh. 

 

Cough on them next time, see how they like it. :tongue:

 

You should've mentioned the guest star Atlas is in the video! I'll try watching it again with sound when I get home from work. :) Feel better already!

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The good news: I think my cold is gone

 

The bad news: you wouldn't be able to tell by listening to me because I spent the majority of the day trying not to fcking cry (and only partially succeeding).

So at the end of my last challenge I mentioned that my Boss (super awesome Dude) was in the hospital and didn't really share much beyond that other than the fact that he might be there for a while. WELL. 

 

He had a stroke. A really really bad one from the sound of it. Like... apparently it may have *started* like 2 weeks ago and they thought it was a sinus infection I don't know how strokes work, but this was part of the news we got today. The other part of the news was that they can't keep doing the things they've been doing to try to regulate his blood pressure, so they have to stop... Best case scenario, he somehow regulates on his own and he's crippled for life. Worst case, well...

 

Depending on how things progress tomorrow, the family may allow groups of us from work to go up and visit, but we won't know until some point tomorrow if that's even remotely possible. The idea of doing this is terrifying, not only because I *hate* seeing people in hospitals because they always look so weak and helpless, but also because this may be the last time I would get to see him. Ever. Fuck.

 

(of course there is also this glimmer of hope that he'll stabilize and slowly get better little by little, but we all know I'm a little too emotional to let that be the reigning opinion of the situation >.< )

 

So today has been hard, to say the least. In the interest of not having a repeat of last Friday (as fun as it was, I *do* still need to go to work in the morning), I went to the gym. I was hoping Girafa would show up, but he was unable to come. And there was some sort of birthday party or something going on in the gymnastics area right next to the dance floor, so I spent the first 20 minutes of my time cranking out a BWW. It was very much an emotion-filled and emotion-fueled workout, but unlike the ones where I'm just straight angry and I use up all my energy right away and then I just feel pitiful, I was actually able to pace it a little better today. I walked a lap around the track, then jogged (in my not running shoes, this wasn't the most comfortable thing). I did some core, then some pulls (#2 band: 4, 2; 2 eccentric negatives); jogged around the track, then RAN around the track because fucking emotions damn it.

 

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More core and knee push ups. Baby shrimp squats. Handstands (yes, after pulls AND pushes, I have smarts today. But I didn't land on my head!) Rows on the TRX bands. By this point I noticed the kids vacating the gymnastics area so I set up camp, did a little practice and some filming. Lots of breakdowns, lots of au. Lots of noodly arms. Hopefully got some footage I can use. 

 

Came home, cried on Husband, ate some soup, and now trying to numb out just a little bit with a singular drink so I can maybe fall asleep without bawling myself into a migraine. There might be some Ben & Jerry's in the freezer with my name on it too.

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Now that I've had a surprisingly decent night's rest (and seeing a slightly more optimistic update before bed) I'd like to say "I'm ok, I'm ok, really."

 

But then I remember how I actually feel and I know that while I can probably do my daily "stuff" without too much difficulty at this point, the truth is I'm not really okay, and probably won't be for a while. Even if he starts doing better little by little, I won't be able to rest easy until he's stabilized. Maybe until he's released from the ICU. I don't know, and I won't know until it happens. 

 

And I try to remind myself that It's okay to feel not okay, I mean this is a pretty fucked up situation, and especially so in my own little world since it landed right when I was in the middle of digging up some heavy emotions to work through. But I'm so tired of it being "not okay."

 

C would probably cheer me on for my awareness of how I'm handling the situation, and it's true that awareness is one of the bigger parts of figuring out how to feel better. 

 

But damn it I want to find my happy place!!!

 

Buuuut.... Things might be pretty crazy right now, roller-coaster-y if you will, and I might periodically forget this (you may want to remind me), as fucked up as it is, I WILL pull through, things WILL get better.

 

For now, time to chin up and go into work like

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Oh right, points! Doing really well considering the circumstances.

 

Day 3: 11 Points

Mostly because I folded all of the laundry (where does it all come from?!) and recorded that little video on a whim :)

 

Day 4: 12 Points

Because I did all of the things at the gym last night.

 

so many points

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Very many points. Sometimes having this routine and these goals to work towards are the best distractions and best outlets when you are feeling really not okay about a situation completely out of your control. So sorry to hear about his condition and wishing all the best in his direction, but also all the best for you to continue to take it on and cope in your way.

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Raptron, alot assassin

67666564636261605958 575655545352515049484746454443424140393837363534333231302928272625242322212019181716151413121110987 | 6 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 1

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That is insanely rough. I really hope that he stabilizes. You're right; it's okay to not be okay right now, but it's also okay to be a little frustrated about that too. You'll be okay and find your happy place soon enough. You're coping really well (I think), and we're here when you need us (cheering you on from the InterEther). You'll come out of this stronger than you were before.

Sidenote: I love getting noodle arms. But I think I'm just weird. XD

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