Jayniana Jones Gains a Bionic Leg

[Jayniana Jones]

Meet Ed.

 

Ed was affectionately named by me while under the influence of pain meds (legally prescribed by my doctor). Ed and I were excellent friends about 18 months ago on the last leg of my recovery from my ACL being rebuilt. Then, when I got the all clear, I put him in the closet with much relief that I wouldn't have to wear him ever again. About a month ago, I wondered what I was going to do with the brace. It cost us a nice chunk of change because it is a semi-custom get up. I thought about bronzing him, but the sleek black carbon parts look impressive. I thought about throwing Ed in my cabinet with other braces (yes, I'm sorry to say but I've been injured enough to have many different ankle braces, knee apparati and crutches - wood and metal.). Instead, I left him in my closet and figured I'd decide later. Then when I started my daily yoga challenge, I started to really notice that my left leg isn't as stable as I thought it should be. I called the nurse to see if ACL could stretch over time. She didn't like my description of what it felt like and told me I needed to come see the doctor. I didn't like her response, but was too polite to tell her so over the phone. She was supposed to tell me that ACL cadaver's can stretch and it's totally normal. 

 

I meet with my doctor Wednesday to find out if I need my ACL rebuilt. Recently, I learned when you are under 40 (as I was and am) a cadaver has a 25% failure rate. I don't think I would've chosen different when I originally had the surgery because of the longer recovery period with the other options, but it's a bummer to find out. Whether or not I need surgery, I have to learn to accept the fact that I need to wear Ed when I'm active. My family members told me that pretty much that means anytime I leave the house because I'm usually off to do something outside. I struggle to stay in one spot for long. If I need surgery, I actually get an in between brace that extends the entire length of my leg and then Ed will be useful four months (give or take) into rehabilitation. Yeah?

 

Last time around, whenever I was in public and Ed was visible, I would get comments about being the bionic woman. I hated the comments but I think it was because I had to admit that I wasn't normal. Why that's a problem, I'm not sure because I've never been normal, but I digress.

 

This month, I think I need to embrace my new normal. Things could be worse. I may have to work on some nifty come back for all the bionic leg comments that I'll receive.

 

My goals for this month:

 

Keep my yoga streak going. Today is day 56. My daughter and I started doing yoga together just to see how many days in a row we could do. Our first celebration was at 50 days. Our next celebration is at day 104. If I need surgery, I've found a few options to keep the streak going - chair yoga and 30 minutes of meditation (the meditation is probably all I can do the day of surgery - the pain can be a bit intense).

 

Body weight workouts two times a week. I got things arranged so my son can do his workout without me or can join me if he wants to, but I won't be as dependent on our schedules matching up. 

 

Not eat junk with the mindset of "this will make me feel better." This month has the potential for a few very big stressors coming. When I listed them out yesterday I burst into tears as I wrote because I'm extremely worried about what may come. I felt broken, but figured I can only take one step at a time and remind myself that there are lots of unknowns with all the family members involved. In the past, when I got overwhelmed with emotions, I'd eat lots of sweets to the point I'd get sores in my mouth from the sugar and belly aches from the flour (it's not official, but I think I'm sensitive to wheat). My goal is to eat with intention and not buy sweets when I feel out of control. Right now my kitchen is "safe" and doesn't have any of my comfort food triggers in it. My measurement for this goal will be a simple success or fail at the end of each week.

 

Painting weekly.

I was inspired by SnowOwl's idea of doing an art quest that involves learning to paint. I learned how to paint during my rehabilitation for my knee but after watching the first video, I thought it might be good for me to dig out my brushes and develop my painting "voice." The quest started in January, but I think if I do one video a week and complete the assignment I'm good to go. I also have a pen portrait I'm working on, so if I have time, I'd like to finish that this month as well.

 

That's the plan. All subject to modifications as needed. 

[SnowOwl]

So excited to follow your art quest! (and cheer your other quests too!)

[Jayniana Jones]

Well... the news today was a bummer, but not really unexpected. The good news is I got to see a 3D rendition of my left knee. It was kind of like watching a science video where the camera is taking a tour of the inside of my leg. The bad news is there were two screws that were supposed to have a ligament between them and there was darkness. Clearly, someone came in and stole my ACL! Technically, it's still connected to the bottom screw and is lying horizontal to my knee cap. I need a new one. Something is also going on with my meniscus which concerned the doctor (it has a sandpaper look to it, so my untrained eye says it's probably getting destroyed by me using my leg).

 

While I don't NEED to do surgery, from the sounds of it, my future self with love me later if I do so. My other option is basically to keep using it until there my bones are rubbing together, the meniscus is worn out, and the pain is driving me crazy. At that point it's time for a full knee replacement somewhere in my 40s or 50s. Going the surgery route now will hopefully push that date out until my late 50s or 60s. It's a gamble, but I think it is worth it to try while my body is "young" enough to handle the rehabilitation.

 

I'll confess, I had a pity party after my hubby and I left the clinic. The part I dread is the rehab on the other side of surgery. Last round I swore I wouldn't ever go through that again. While we grocery shopped (nice date, huh?) I started to give myself a pep talk. I turned down the suggestion to buy myself a treat. I also turned down the suggestion to get bourbon creme (I'm not much for booze, but for some reason that is one I love on special occasions). My hubby is supportive and I think he was just trying to do something to make me smile.

 

By the time we got home, I could tell the kids the news without tears. The kids were bummed for me but have mentioned ideas to help me on the recovery side. We resumed our homeschool lessons. Joked around alot to the point we got stuck laughing. Then after dinner I did what anyone with a 57 day yoga streak would do... my daughter and I completed day 58!

 

Yesterday, my son and I did our bodyweight workout. I bumped us up to level 3, setup the pull-up bar with assist bands and a lower one for inverted rows. Something clicked in him and he grinned the entire workout. It was fun to see. I still out do him in strength (he just turned 13), but I don't think it'll be long before he leaves me in the dust.

 

Overall a good week so far. There's part of me that still wants to curl up into a little ball and pretend everything is okay, but it won't do any good. I'm not sure when surgery will happen, I have a few things to arrange, but my guess is mid-April. Until then, I will keep plugging away with Ed on my leg to offer his support.

[SnowOwl]

So sorry about the surgery, hopefully recovery will go way better than you expect. And now you will have some wonderful art projects to keep you busy when resting is required.

[Alexandrite]

Following! I actually read your thread when you first made it (I wanted to meet ed, haha) but forgot to subscribe! Now I realize we would be great accomplices because I'm trying to do yoga every day too (just the prenatal type).

The knee stuff sucks. I only know about it because my husband is a physical therapist and he says knees and shoulders are tough. But I think you're right in that being able to push back a total knee to later would be much better than having to do it sooner. We have a friend who's had multiple knee surgeries and he's under 40, but his knee was totally torn up from skiing and some other stuff. Rehab the second time around can actually be a bit easier mentally because you know what it's going to ask of you and you know where the benchmarks and plateaus can happen. Basically you're able to make a better gameplan? And your kids sound fun, I'm looking forward to that stage with mine (both mine are under five right now).

Sent by my Navi-powered device!

[SnowOwl]

Are you joining the Big Art Quest group? If so, friend me, my profile pic is the same on that site as this one, then we can share all of our quest progress with each other.

 

http://theartsherpa.com/groups/the-big-art-quest

[Jayniana Jones]

So sorry about the surgery, hopefully recovery will go way better than you expect. And now you will have some wonderful art projects to keep you busy when resting is required.

 

Thanks. I'm actually looking forward to having to focus on playing with my art projects.

 

 

Following! I actually read your thread when you first made it (I wanted to meet ed, haha) but forgot to subscribe! Now I realize we would be great accomplices because I'm trying to do yoga every day too (just the prenatal type).

 

That sounds great. I wonder if doing pre-natal yoga will result in a baby that sleeps through the night from day one because they are super calm... Fantasy? 

 

 

 

Are you joining the Big Art Quest group? If so, friend me, my profile pic is the same on that site as this one, then we can share all of our quest progress with each other.

 

http://theartsherpa.com/groups/the-big-art-quest

 

I just signed up. I finished my painting this even. I thought I'd post a thumbnail but the paint is still wet and very shiny. I did a palette knife painting because I was thinking about cake and painting with a palette knife is like spreading frosting. I'll plan on posting my painting tomorrow when I can touch it. 

 

The yoga streak is still going.

[Alexandrite]

The yoga for a calm baby is total fantasy as far as my kids go, unfortunately... my son woke about every 2 hours on the dot without fail through all 18 months of his nursing. It was brutal. My daughter was a little better but she had nursing difficulties that tired her out more or she would have woken up just as frequently I think.

Yoga just helped me feel calmer, and gave me some better body positions to work with during labor. And all of my kids have been head down naturally, so maybe?

Keep going on the yoga streak!

Sent by my Navi-powered device!

[Jayniana Jones]

Weekly Update:

Yoga - Yeah! 

My yoga streak is still going. I'm blanking on what number I'm on today because I'm not looking at my calendar. On Sunday, I managed to squeeze yoga in with my daughter before I had to head over to my parents. I'm watching their dogs for today (Monday) so that my mom doesn't have to worry about them stuck in the car while she is visiting doctors and having tests and scans done all day. She has incurable ovarian cancer. Overall, she is doing okay, but I have a feeling based on her pain levels that she will be restarting chemo (she's had a break since August). Because of her pain, my dad's pain from a pinched nerve in his neck, and the dogs all whimpering to each other every 15-30 minutes, I didn't get much sleep last night. 

 

 

Bodyweight - Ye!

I missed a bodyweight workout at the end of the week because of a pain in my foot and ankle (apparently related to my missing ACL). I did a few walks in place of the bodyweight workout. Jumping is what messes up my feet, so I'm thinking I should probably hold off on jumping even though the doctor said that as long as I wore Ed I could do my regular activities. He never asked what my regular activities were. Normally, I tend to push boundaries, but my knee is one place where I really don't want to push and make things worse.

 

Not eat junk - Hmm.

The eating healthy and avoiding junk food worked really well until Friday. I got a bit stressed and my son made cream puffs. I had one and didn't care for it. Then Saturday, my grandma took me out for lunch and she insisted I get ice cream. It wasn't hard to convince me. Yesterday, my mom made a flourless cake and gave me a huge wedge for dessert. Chocolate is my weakness. She put another piece on a plate for me today and told me to help myself. So far, I've avoided it for four hours. I feel like the little kids on the Stanford marshmallow test where the kids are told not to eat the marshmallow so they hide their faces to avoid the temptation. If you haven't seen videos of them, search for it on youtube and be amused and relate all at the same time.

 

 

 

Art - Yeah!

I spent Saturday evening painting the Art Quest pear assignment. I ran out of time to post my picture yesterday. So here it is:

 

 

I did a knife painting because I wanted to experiment with blending colors and textures together. I really enjoyed it. This week it's time for quest #2.

[SnowOwl]

Fantastic pears! 

[Trewest]

You're on an amazing yoga streak! Holy amazballs I cannot do yoga that many days in a row. A- I'm not terrible but I am not bendy B- I live with cats that equate yoga time to climb all over the funny human time.

 

Jedi Ally FTW!

[Briniel]

Hey Jeyniana, I'm here as part of the Assassin's Force Academy. I don't have a lot of time right now, but I'll be back as soon as I can to cheer you on

[Alexandrite]

Yes! So cool you can share your paintings!

Sounds like your family loves you and worries about you in their own way through making tempting food, haha. You can do it! Resist!

Also, that marshmallow thing is hilarious!

Sent by my Navi-powered device!

[SaltyDragon]

Hey, finally checking in over here! Sorry to hear the news about your knee. While I can't really offer any authoritative advice, I'm inclined to agree with you that opting for the surgery now is probably the better choice. I also suspect that Alexandrite is right that you'll find it easier second time around – mental preparedness, and such.

 

Love the pears!

[Schaengel]

Following along, that knee surgery sounds like a real bummer but I'm sure you can get through that

[Briniel]

I finally got around to catching up on your thread. You've got a lot going on and I hope it will all turn out fine.

I would love to see some of your paintings and drawing. I've done both and I'm always happy to meet other art-nerds Your pear painting is awesome!! The colors are so pretty and the structure from the palette knife works really well. I think I might have to try that sometime

I'm sorry to hear you about the surgery, but it sounds like the sensible option. I'm glad for all the support from your family and your decision to not give in to candy and booze after learning about it. That's some uber willpower right there

Also, doing yoga/workouts with your children sounds like such an awesome thing to do. You're setting up a great role model for them!

[Jayniana Jones]

Quick mid-week update (I've got 5 minutes before I'm supposed to be out the door).

 

Day 65 today for my yoga streak!

 

I got a body weight workout in yesterday. My son and I were having unofficial competitions about who could do the most in a row for various exercises. The little bugger was able to squeeze out 30 assisted shrimp squats in the time it took me to do 10. I was a bit slower thanks to Ed, but he was pretty happy to win. The other items I was able to do more, but I have a feeling he'll be ahead of me in a couple of months. 

 

Somehow I managed to avoid junk and didn't touch the flourless cake that called to me the entire time I was at my parents.

 

Art - I watched the next video and plan to get my painting assignment done this weekend. However, I did paint today. I finished painting my bedroom. While it isn't exactly art, I'm happy it's off my to do list because now I can add art to the room.

 

Time is up. I'll be able to catch up on my reading tomorrow. Thanks for the encouragement.

[SaltyDragon]

The best part about making to-do lists is getting to cross stuff off of them. Good work!

[Trewest]

I find it very satisfying to finish painting a room. Its a task done, and usually the new paint is something you've gotten to choose so you've taken control of your environment as well. It's..... satisfying, there needs to be a better word for that lol.

[Alexandrite]

For some reason, every time I read your yoga streak, I hear "yoga, yoga, yoga" chanting in my head the same way they do in Animal House with "toga." Haha!

You're making me want to paint indoors so bad. My husband made me swear to hold off renovations for one year when we bought a house in Dec... dang!

Sent by my Navi-powered device!

[Jayniana Jones]

I'll have to do a yoga chant tomorrow before my yoga session. That'll be funny. It may require some explanation for my daughter's sake.

On our walk today I told my husband I wanted to paint his office next. He agreed until I mentioned getting it done before my surgery. What a party pooper. I couldn't resist teasing him. He's been a bit concerned about my emotional status and keeps checking on me to see he I need anything. It's sweet until I need space.

[Jayniana Jones]

Week in review update.

I took Saturday as a me day. Originally I was going to paint all day, but what I realized is I'm a bit of a restless spirit. I can't stay in one place for more than an hour. I took my dog for a long walk, did a walking meditation, and worked out. By the time I was done with that it was lunch. Painting happened for a few hours and then my grandma needed a ride into town (about a 40 minute drive one way). 

 

Yoga - Yeah!

Today is day 69 of my yoga streak. My daughter and I almost missed last night because we hadn't done it in the morning and I spaced. So right before bed we did a floor routine, For some reason I wasn't as stretchy as usual. I think it is because I was in pain before I started.

 

Bodyweight - Yeah!

I got my two days of bodyweight workouts in. 

My hubby commented that it looked like I was slimming down. My full length mirror hasn't been in my bedroom since I repainted so I hadn't noticed. I figured I'd put my old pants on to see. They actually were a bit baggy, so later this summer I'll probably need new pants. With my brace for now baggy is better.

 

Not eat junk - Yeah!

So until I did this challenge of not eating junk to feel better, I've become aware of how much my family members (outside of my immediate family) use food to treat me or try to soothe their own upsets and want me to join them. I've been able to resist some very tempting treats. For some reason I keep getting tested with cake (one of my weaknesses) and this week I resisted. Despite high stress and immense worry, food hasn't been my go to this week.

 

Art - Yeah!

The art quest video was longer than I expected. There were two assignments: make a color chart and paint an abstract heart. I painted the chart outside yesterday because it was 65 degrees out and I couldn't stay indoors. It worked okay, but big projects my paints would dry too fast.

 

Here's my abstract heart picture. When I was almost done I had an idea that may have worked better for the color layout, but I didn't feel like redoing it.

 

 

I hope everyone has a great week.

[SnowOwl]

I love your heart!

[Schaengel]

The heart looks nice

[SaltyDragon]

Cool heart. I like how you integrated the opposing color wheels.

 

Great job on all your goals, especially resisting the treats and making your clothes bigger. I'll bet that feels good!

 

Keep it going – Yeah!