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It's time to start up the engines in Terinatum's world!


Terinatum

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*wanders in*

*catches up*

*administers scout-hug*

 

Hi Teri,

 

Definitely feeling your pain in the gaining-the-weight-back department - I've been there. You've done really well in this challenge though, despite recent wagon-adherence issues. What do you say - are you going to pull this back and finish strong?

 

 

 

  • Like 2

Level 20 Ferret Demon Scout

STR 43 | DEX 21 | STA 49 | CON 30 | WIS 45 | CHA 21

Challenges: #1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6 #7 #8 #9 #10 #11 #12 #13 #14 #15 #16 #17 #18 #19 #20 #21 #22 #23 #24 #25

Instagram | Wordpress | Twitter | Linkedin | Goodreads | Facebook: *spits* I despise facebook!

Valeu a pena? Tudo vale a pena Se a alma não é pequena.

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19 hours ago, 18ck said:

*wanders in*

*catches up*

*administers scout-hug*

 

Hi Teri,

 

Definitely feeling your pain in the gaining-the-weight-back department - I've been there. You've done really well in this challenge though, despite recent wagon-adherence issues. What do you say - are you going to pull this back and finish strong?

 

 

 

 

Hey 18ck, et al...

*Scout hug gratefully received*

 

Moaning:

I'm feeling really unsteady in my emotions. I started eating junk again last Wednesday. I have gained back 50% of my 96 pound loss. I feel dreadfully achy, stiff, and weak from no real exercising in over 10 months. My spine is deteriorating near my waist line (facet disease is worse there) and my SI joints get pissy if I manage to walk more than 2 tenths of a mile at once on pavement. AND my car is in recall. :disturbed:  Bloody hell.

 

Where I am now:

I started this challenge with a lot of healthy anger and that brought me through a lot. I am quite proud of myself for that. I stuck up for myself and made decisions that were good for me. Now, the anger is waning which I think is healthy, but it leaves me with little energy to move myself. The habits and beliefs I need to care for myself are again hard to find and utilize. I feel like I am the me that was before NF circa 2012. I wanna get better, I wanna go right by myself, and I want to get inside me to where my action is and bring it to the surface.

 

Where I'm going:

I am doing heavy work on therapy and a great deal of that is finding my self-worth and releasing the shame that has collected over the decades. So my challenge now and next month will be about being an caterpillar. Vermont's own banded woolly bear!

 

insects_Wooly_Bear_Composite_rsz_ct.jpg 

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22nd level Wanderer

better is right here, right now

The Way

Here's to all the 1% increases in life!

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4 ice cubes treats

roast beef sandwich with garlic mayo

20 water

small chocolate shake

double cheeseburger

small fries

4 piece nugget with hot mustard

4 chocolate chip cookies

22nd level Wanderer

better is right here, right now

The Way

Here's to all the 1% increases in life!

Link to post

injections are done and 48 from now will tell me how well they worked. Shots in my arse was an experiment I have no desire to repeat!

 

Sausage biscuit with cheese

hash brown

water

4 chocolate chip cookies

2 to go 3 musketeers.

king sized reeses peanut butter cups

peanut butter m&ms - sharing size

water

turkey sandwich 1/2

mcIntosh apple

2 baked lays chips (literally just 3 of them)

 

22nd level Wanderer

better is right here, right now

The Way

Here's to all the 1% increases in life!

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still at the VA - staying overnight due to not having a driver for today.

dinner: pork chop, white and red mini potatoes, a few carrots, two white dinner rolls with fake butter, and 1 cup of whole milk. The stuffing they made was really gross and I don't like broccoli.

 

I finally opened up spiritually in the VA chapel.It's been awhile.  I cried and said I can no longer take care of my parents, no more abuse relationships. I asked the Great Mystery to care for them and help them find opportunities for healing and joy. I don't want to do it anymore. I'm done. I've gone back and forth on this for almost 6 weeks now, and several times throughout the last 10 years. It's so hard to go against the 'natural' desire and expectation that I will be there for them in their time of need. The trouble is, they have always been in their time of need. I have been the unnatural surrogate to their mental health needs and paid a heavy price. And now, I have learned, I paid a lot more than I realized. It's devastating and yet makes sense with the issues I have.

So now I move onward, forward. Or even sideways for awhile here and there. But I am done falling backwards in the hell that I have lived in, the inescapable void of PTSD and shame. No more.

 

Now what?! Haven't a clue. Okay, I do. My woolly bear motto. Slow and easy. The little steps are the most important ones for me. I need to continue to refurbish my emotional foundation. I need to own the small things that I can do to get better: PT, drink water, and as much outside and inside bodily self care as I can manage each day. This is not starting over, I'm 50 for goodness sake. haha This is moving in a healthy and loving direction. I am my own parent, friend, and self. I'm Terri. Hear me meow a bit from the back of the room in the shadows that are starting to let in the sunshine of a new day. A new way.

 

Thank you, NF.

Blessed Chi to All,

G'nite!

  • Like 2

22nd level Wanderer

better is right here, right now

The Way

Here's to all the 1% increases in life!

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BIG ASS WIN DAY

 

Checked out of the VA at 7 am this morning.

Breakfast at McDs - sausage biscuit with cheese (no egg), hash brown, and 4 chocolate chip cookies with 20 oz water.

Got home and went backed to sleep until just after noon or so.

Packed my laundry and went to the laundromat. Had twice as much as usual.

I put on my back brace for laundry. I figure if I immobilize my weak vertebrae, then I can tell if the SI joint injections worked. So far so good!

I did my laundry slow and without excess bending and very little twisting. I didn't fold everything right away, only the things I really don't want to look wrinkled.

The rest I'll do later tonight now that I'm home.

After getting home (and buying 2 charleston chew bars, and coconut clusters) I brought up my laundry and settled in and did a MARVELOUS meditation journey to a sacred palce I haven't been to in a LONG time. I feel great!! I felt so grateful to be held by my spirit guide again.

I'm chowing down on my shepard's pie, water, and probably one of the chews. As well as some Benny Goodman!

I forgot just how good it feels to be consciously connected to the universe and my body.

I encourage everyone to connect to that which holds their faith and spirit. Rejoice in it!! 

 

Going to breakfast with friends tomorrow and then to a Drag Ball. And bowling on Sunday! See Teri socialize! hehehe

  • Like 1

22nd level Wanderer

better is right here, right now

The Way

Here's to all the 1% increases in life!

Link to post

Breakfast was nice, although tense as the couple I visited with were a bit snippy with each other. - shaved beef, cheddar, red peppers, spinach, tomatos, home fries,a nd water

Took a nap

Quick visit with 2 friends  - they work near my home

Bought 2 charleston chews

Visited with K

Laid on my back for awhile on the yoga mat - with moist heat

Played a few games

Ate my shepard's pie

Took a shower

Went to the drag ball - danced twice and then stood and sat for the rest of the evening

Got Mcds - double cheeseburger and 6 nuggets with hot mustard sauce and a water

Laid on my yoga mat again and rested the back - took my meds along with ibuprofen and hydrocodone

Played a few card games

Rewrote my parental divorce letter

Came on here to update

Pretty okay day 

22nd level Wanderer

better is right here, right now

The Way

Here's to all the 1% increases in life!

Link to post

Hey, what happened to the....

I feel like I've posted here since that moth pic appeared. Hm... I'm sure I have. *eyes Tapatalk suspiciously*

 

Anyway, if I did, I don't think it was particularly profound so probably no great loss to the culture at large. In the meantime, just stopping by to say hi and I hope we'll be seeing the emergence of Terrihartica Natumella from her Chrysalis, unfolding her wings to the warmth of the sun and flitting up into the morning air soon.

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Level 20 Ferret Demon Scout

STR 43 | DEX 21 | STA 49 | CON 30 | WIS 45 | CHA 21

Challenges: #1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6 #7 #8 #9 #10 #11 #12 #13 #14 #15 #16 #17 #18 #19 #20 #21 #22 #23 #24 #25

Instagram | Wordpress | Twitter | Linkedin | Goodreads | Facebook: *spits* I despise facebook!

Valeu a pena? Tudo vale a pena Se a alma não é pequena.

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1 hour ago, 18ck said:

Hey, what happened to the....

I feel like I've posted here since that moth pic appeared. Hm... I'm sure I have. *eyes Tapatalk suspiciously*

 

Anyway, if I did, I don't think it was particularly profound so probably no great loss to the culture at large. In the meantime, just stopping by to say hi and I hope we'll be seeing the emergence of Terrihartica Natumella from her Chrysalis, unfolding her wings to the warmth of the sun and flitting up into the morning air soon.

 

LOL Started that today. The beautiful sun and its warmth on my skin was intoxicating.

  • Like 1

22nd level Wanderer

better is right here, right now

The Way

Here's to all the 1% increases in life!

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