Polaris chills the f¤#& out

[Polaris]

So, uh, hi. I'm a warrior/monk, but I decided to wander over here for this challenge. I have a weird lumbar back/hip issue that might be just temporary muscle tightness or some horrible thing that'll never heal (I was told to just basically wait and watch it until I see my physiotherapist on 22nd, very exciting), which has forced me to alter my workouts. So I'm saying goodbye to my heavy barbell lifts for a few weeks and doing more work with kettlebells, bodyweight, and other stuff I'm really not good at, as it turns out.

 

Fitness goals:

 

#1: No Pain, No Still Gains

I'm used to doing high intensity stuff, nothing else feels like a proper workout to me. And I'm guilty of exercising despite pain as long as I'm technically capable of it. But I need to learn not to do that, because I don't want to mess my back up any more. So the rules are: 1) No barbell squats (light front squats are okay as long as they don't hurt, I'm trying to learn the form). Substitute with goblet squats, split squats, lunges. 2) No barbell deadlifts. Substitute with one-legged dumbbell/kettlebell DLs. 3) Do core work every workout. I've neglected it in the past because I don't like it, but it's really important to both my lifting and taekwon-do. 4) Work on balance at least 2x week, just because mine sucks. 5) Generally listen to my body, and if something hurts, DON'T DO IT. You wouldn't believe how hard this is for me to get through my thick skull.

 

#2: Cut Carbs

I'm trying to decrease my body fat, which has been going absolutely nowhere for the past month and a half for reasons beyond my comprehension. For the next four weeks, I'll stick to a low-carb, high(er) fat diet to see if I can get some ketosis going on and melting off some of this annoying fluff. My current carb allowance on MFP is 40-50 grams per day, but I might adjust it along the way. A little more is allowed on lifting days, but even then I'll try to stick mostly to vegetables and the occasional orange juice. (I know that's liquid fructose but it's sooo good.)

 

#3: Cardio

Except for running outside, I hate most cardio. I usually get my cardio from TKD, but now I can't always attend the classes due to this back issue, and even when I can, I can't do most of the stuff that develops endurance. So in order to keep my endurance from going worse than it already is, I need to do at least 3x 20-30 minute HIIT sessions per week. Mostly on the elliptical since that's the safest option right now, since it's the most low impact for my hips and back.

 

Life goal:

 

Get Your ST Together

I got recently diagnosed with ADD and meds to help deal with it, so I should finally be able to get my s&¤t together Like An Adult. So, during this challenge, I'll read the three remaining (terribly boring) literary studies books for a course, and book and ace that exam like a pro. I'll also read at least one novel I need to read for another lit course, and do one of the essays that's been late since about forever. I'll clean up the chaos that used to be my room and KEEP it clean. And pay my bills on time, which I've been dreadful at because my brain's like a sieve.

 

Shouldn't be too hard. *sweats nervously*

 

[Polaris]

Today's workout, with commentary:

DB Split Squats (Why are these so hard?? I can barbell squat a fair amount of weight, yet I'm struggling with teeny dumbbells with these. Also, it's really hard for me to find a semi-comfortable stance.)

Barbell Bench Press (You would think powerlifting-style benching would hurt my back but no, it feels totally fine. Thank dog, I can keep one powerlift in my routine.)

Kettlebell One Legged RDLs (My balance is so crap oh my god I can't even. Otherwise I love these, and they don't hurt.)

Hack Squats (Surprisingly harder than leg press, but feels more like real squats so that's nice.)

Underhand Pulldowns

DB Flies (The hardest part is trying to sit back up.)

DB Lateral Raises

Cable Crunches (For some reason this feels really nice for my back.)

Seated Calf Raises

DB Triceps Extensions

Some more variations of crunches

 

I tried to do front squats, but I'm afraid to go low enough because of my back, so I did hack squats instead. Also they hurt my shoulders so much all my focus is going there. So front squats are also out for the time being. I was also gonna do cable abductions, adductions and kickbacks, but all those hurt so I noped out of them. I basically can't do any weighted abductions or adductions, and my glute work is also limited. I usually do fairly heavy barbell hip thrusts or bridges, but even though they don't cause me pain, I'm afraid all that hip hinging is gonna put more pressure on my hip and lumbar spine. I had some sharp sciatica pain after my workout, I'm guessing because of those cable exercises I tried and the weights in general, but it's starting to subside so I'm crossing my fingers. Gonna sleep with an ice pack anyway. I noticed the stabilizer muscles of my left leg have suffered from this issue (the problem, or at least the pain is mainly on that side), usually it's my better balancing leg but now I was struggling more with it than the right one.

 

On a positive note, I did the RDLs with this adorably pink kettlebell:

[Maeghaan]

Kettlebells look fun, I might have to try and work some of that into one of my challenges someday! 

 

Concerning your back and other pains, have you considered trying to work in deadlifts? They're great for getting all sorts of your body into shape, and they really help your core and back. I know some types of back pain are really helped by improving core and back muscle strength. Also, I think they're fun I'm just starting with them, so I don't do a ton of weight yet.

[karinajean]

hey! what kind of core workouts are you interested in fitting in? and tell me about your tkd, too.

[Waldgeist]

Hello, you still there?

[Polaris]

I'm still here. I've been MIA because this back issue has been eating up a LOT of my time and resources, both mental and physical. I sleep very badly for several nights and then I sleep an entire day to catch up on that debt, so I'm behind on literally everything in my life. I'm also so tired of all the pain and how debilitating it is I honestly have cried multiple times and wanted to jump off some high place because I can't deal with it anymore. Though lately it's been getting better *knocks on wood, crosses fingers* the back pain is almost gone, now my left hip/thigh is the biggest culprit because the muscles are so tight it hurts to use them. Annoyingly seem to be mostly immune to foam rolling and stretching, muscle relaxant meds help somewhat. I got x-rays taken and nothing showed up there (excluding a congenital aberration in my L5 which is likely not behind this), my physiotherapy will finally be next Tuesday so hopefully she can fix me and show me how to prevent this from happening again.

 

Anyway, goal progression so far:

 

#1: Kinda-sorta? I've only been able to do strength workouts once or twice a week, and my lower-body training currently... quite painful and almost impossible, because of those tight muscles that make everything hurt. And because the pain shifts from time to time, I was able to do single-leg RDLs one workout without issues, and it destroyed me after the next one, so it's been tough. I have attempted to work through the pain a couple of times, but mostly because I thought using those muscles would loosen them up (it didn't), not so much because of my stubbornness. I have actually worked on core consistently, and for a while I had like, VISIBLE UPPER ABS because the muscles were swollen, which was hilarious because I'm not really anywhere near low enough BF% to have abs. Balance work... I've kinda neglected, but again, not by choice. Right now I'm anxious to get this perma-cramp off my thigh so I can restart training my legs before my butt disappears. (This is a very big concern for me. I have literally texted my co-athlete friends "waaah I can see my butt dropping I need help!")

 

#2: I've been acing this one. I've been so strict with my carbs and honestly, it hasn't even been hard. Both keto diet and my ADD meds cause loss of hunger for me, so I'm not craving food like I usually do during cutting, it's actually way harder for me to remember to eat. I even stuck to my guns while visiting my mom and uncle, who are the worst influence on my cuts, because my mom is always saying "well you can eat that just this one time" and my uncle will ask about every two hours, "Have you eaten breakfast/lunch/dinner/snack? Do you want me to make [some delicious but extremely sugary dish]?" They were pretty respectful though once I explained that it sounds good but I really can't. AND I've actually lost weight! I'm around 61 kg from the stubborn 63, yesterday I hit 60.8 so I rewarded myself with a McDonald's meal. Also I've lost several cm off my waist but that may be just bloat leaving.

 

#3: Yeah lol no, I haven't been doing 3 cardio sessions x week. I've done one or two per week, either after my lifting or on separate days, which I've kinda... started to enjoy? I did semi-starved cardio one morning and I was expecting to feel awful like an empty balloon, but I think my body's got the hang of this burning-fat-for-fuel thing. I've always had really bad endurance, and I feel like my body doesn't know how to utilize energy storages on a "normal" diet; it'd run out of glycogen in about half an hour and then just, nothing. I suspect I might be one of those people who just feel generally better on a LCHF diet.

 

So generally, I've done the best I could under the circumstances, and that should be enough, shouldn't it?

 

Oh and life goal: two books out of four down and one halfway read! I'm proud of myself for this one. I haven't cleaned up my room yet because my back hasn't let me, but I'm planning to do that as soon as I'm able, because even I can't take this mess anymore. 

 

Concerning your back and other pains, have you considered trying to work in deadlifts? They're great for getting all sorts of your body into shape, and they really help your core and back. I know some types of back pain are really helped by improving core and back muscle strength. Also, I think they're fun I'm just starting with them, so I don't do a ton of weight yet.

Oh my god, I love deadlifts! I'm a (aspiring) powerlifter, and they may be my best and favorite lift. But alas, I've not felt safe lifting that much weight because of this back issue. Like, I was gonna try some back squats with just the bar a couple weeks ago, but I felt that weight/pressure around my sacrum, which felt very weird and alarming. So DLs are off my list for a little while at least, but I'm very anxious to get back to them asap, because I've also read a lot about their positive effect on your core. I've been reading a ton of Andrew Lock's articles and they make so much sense to me.

 

hey! what kind of core workouts are you interested in fitting in? and tell me about your tkd, too.

So far I've done a lot of... let's see, straight planks, side planks, different kinds of crunches on ground and exercise ball, heavy-ish cable crunches, leg lifts (for what my lower back allows, which is not a lot), dead bugs, weighted and unweighted hyperextensions, supermans... Basically anything I've been able to. I can't really lift my lower back off the ground because it hurts, so that's limited my options. I have liked exercise ball crunches but (or because) they are brutal. I've always had this problem of, well, not really knowing how to engage or brace my core, but they force me to do that. My physio has told me to go to pilates classes, which I'm on the fence about, because I've heard very conflicting information about their actual usefulness for core strength. My biggest problem is that during squats (and sometimes DLs) my back goes to extreme lordosis, even though it's normal in other situations, which is the exact opposite of most people's problem, so there's not much advice on how to fix it. Basically I have no idea how to make myself keep neutral spine.

 

My TKD... Well, I've been practicing ITF style TKD for about two and a half years, I'm currently a green belt/6th gup. (I know, I'm so behind...) I intended to take the belt test this spring, but unless a miracle happens, it won't be possible because this ¤% back hasn't let me practice. I'll be so mad if I have to wait till the fall. Plus I really miss it, I was watching a competition last weekend and was just like, "bwaaah I wanna be in that ring!"

[karinajean]

DUDE knowck it off, TOTALLY not behind. you are studying at your own pace! it's cool that you love it though, and you know that you love it. it SUCKS that your back is in your way, that's the pits.   I'm REALLY glad that the pain is letting up.

[Polaris]

So, finally got an actual diagnosis. I have no idea why the doctor didn't tell me about the actual problem, just the L5 mutation. My physiotherapist broke the news to me on Tuesday.

 

I have spondylolisthesis. My L4 vertebra has slipped 6 mm forward, which I'm told is not serious since they don't even consider operating on slips under 1 cm; it's not caused by anything I did, rather some small congenital abnormalities and my general crazy joint laxity (my PT's words). Still, I was a little... shocked, to put it lightly. I'd been hoping I had a mild subluxation or a muscle injury or basically anything that could be fixed and then it'd be done with. But spondylolisthesis is forever, it's not gonna slip back to its place (without surgery, obvs). My PT assured me, though, that the pain will pass, and that it might return periodically or never. So I'll always have this... Schroedinger's back pain looming over my head. But she gave me a list of exercises to strengthen my core, which should hold the spine in place in the future, and said I don't have to quit lifting or TKD, just make sure to take a break if/when the pain flares up. She said I'm gonna be fine, and I'm trying to tell myself I'm gonna be fine, it's just... my brain's chronically messed up, but up until now my body's been relatively healthy. It's difficult knowing there's an incurable flaw in my physical self as well.

 

Anyway, hopefully the pain will ease up soon so I can start getting back to my regular training. It comes and goes, I only had minor back pain today and yesterday, but the day before that I woke up with goddamn stinging sciatica pain in my (literal) butt. But I haven't got the kind of pain or muscle tightness/cramps that's left me crying for a couple of weeks, so yay, progress, I guess?

 

On another note, I was an idiot and binged on bread for breakfast after 2+ months of strict keto diet. The stomach ache, oh my god, wtf I am not this dumb

 

On 18.3.2016 at 5:29 PM, karinajean said:

DUDE knowck it off, TOTALLY not behind. you are studying at your own pace! it's cool that you love it though, and you know that you love it. it SUCKS that your back is in your way, that's the pits.   I'm REALLY glad that the pain is letting up.

I know everyone is studying at their own pace etc., but I really haven't stuck to the 'ideal' schedule of progress I would've had if I hadn't had to take breaks or had periods of laziness with too little training. What's really getting to me is that a friend of mine, who started exactly a year after me, is gonna catch up to me, so I feel I'm late and not a respectable taekwon-doka (-in? What's the ending?)

But the thing about loving it? It's like... my relationship with TKD would probably be listed as "its complicated" on Facebook. Back when I started and decided I like the art, I set the goal to reach black belt in a certain timeframe, and I'm gonna do that if nothing drastic intervenes. And I still like it, I never hate it, even though I sometimes hate myself for being so mediocre at it. I know so many people who are so talented at it, they've been BAMFs pretty much since the beginning, and me... I have horrible balance, bad motor control, I'm scared of jumping, I have issues with being hit etc. There have been times when I've been really happy because of TKD, like when I win a medal or really succeed in something, but there have been a lot more times when it's made me cry. Like, if I was dating TKD, my friends would have to stage an intervention  Compared to lifting, which rarely fails to make me happy unless I'm having an exceptionally crappy day. Still, I persevere, because I know that despite all the times it's made me hate myself, I'd hate myself more for quitting. (I guess that's one way of interpreting 'indomitable spirit', eh?)