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Wash DC, workaholic, new dad, underweight, out of shape seeking balance


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Ever wake up in your mid thirties and say to yourself, "I need to start working out!" only to realize that over the past 15 years, while you have been living the american dream, your body has gone into hibernation. Well this has hit me like a brick to the head. One night when going into sooth my new son, I reached to pick him out of the crib and felt a searing pain in my back when trying to lift him. The next day I decided to start working out as I had when I was in college. However, I could not run at all. Felt like I was gonna faint just during the warm up. Tried lifting wieghts and could not even come close to my prior warm-up weight. Reality has set in...I am 35, out of shape, skinny fat and weak. In addition, when a coworker invited me to do the Tough Mudder this year and I told my wife, she basically said: 1) you can't do it; 2)even if you say you will do it, you will probably bail...

So I am a 35 year old, skinny fat, weak, quitter..yikes!

I need an intervention. Went out and bought my 5 finger shoes, started Rebel strength, started tracking calories with goal of 3500/day. Gained about 6-8 lbs in 2 weeks...BUT...baby got sick, I got sick, wife got sick and all my New years momentum came crashing to a halt. So, I decided to post because I need motivation. I want to do the tough mudder for my psyche and to prove that I have not given up on myself. Any mid thirties, workaholic, fathers out there who know what I am talking about...I need your mojo!

thanks,

justin

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Not a father and not quite to my 30's yet, but my advice is to just pick back up and go at it again. I know how you feel though. I lost 30 lbs last year and gained it all back. Now I'm doing it again and progressing again. One really good thing is that it's easier the second time around. I know what it takes to get what I want and I'm doing it. Hopefully the same applies to you.

Massrandir, Barkûn, Swolórin, The Whey Pilgrim
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"No citizen has a right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. What a disgrace it is for a man to grow old without ever seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable. " ~ Socrates
"Friends don't let friends squat high." ~ Chad Wesley Smith
"It's a dangerous business, Brodo, squatting to the floor. You step into the rack, and if you don't keep your form, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ Gainsdalf

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How about a mid-forties, overworked father? There are a lot of us here.

I feel your pain. I let myself go in the mid-thirties and am just now getting back into it. Lifting the kids and running around with them is a lot easier when you are in just a bit better shape. I also tried to jump back into it right where I left off. It took a couple of months of futility before I tried something new and started to get back in shape.

If that was me, I'd take my wife's comment as challenge and that would motivate the hell out of me - you better do the Mudder...

I don't think I can help you out with the mojo; I tried to circumvent will power by making everything automatic. I wake up = I work out, if I miss the morning and I work out as soon as the kids are in bed, no debate, no questions, it's just what I do. It gets hard when the kids get sick or your wife needs you (someone's been sick in my house since New Year's). Last night I was doing bodyweight stuff with and arm full of feverish baby, I traded off with my wife as she did a pilates tape. It's hard, but if you skip a day, then it's easy to skip two, next thing you know, you're fat and weak again and I already missed a couple of days last week with the feverish toddler).

Hmm, I feel better having "shared" my difficulties...

Anyway, you're not a quitter, you're a hard worker with a lot on his plate. You just gotta get right back in the game, you already started, you already got a game plan, now do it.

“We might as well start where we are, use what we have and do what we can." – Caitlin Rivers

Sloth: The Man with the Hammer battle log

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I used to be a workaholic, but needed to take the top 20% of my efforts and redirect that energy toward myself. If you don't do that, you won't last. I imagine my daughters being married, and I don't want to walk down the aisle in a walker or motorized wheelchair. I started at 40 and dropped ~95lbs. Took a year to get in some semblance of shape, from walking on the treadmill to running 30-50 miles per week. If you are a workaholic, you are used to working hard, driving toward your goals. You need to reprioritize your goals, and sacrifice immediate achievement at the workplace for longevity and restoration of your health to become a more complete and able individual going fwd. in the longrun, your career should benefit. imho.

i don't care what u think of me. unless u think i'm awesome. in which case u're right.

Intro - Workout Log - ABS Log - Fitness Philosophy - Accountability - NERDEE - Weight Maintenance

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Thanks for your post. Being automatic is a good idea...funny about the sickness thing. We had the same issue. Daycare baby is the vector for the worst germs. Was your wife motivated to get in shape also? I think it would be easier if my wife was as motivated to change her fitness level/physical appearance/endurance as I was. BTW I did sign up for the Mudder, so I have 7 months to train.

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I think it's really hard to stay motivated when your other half is not. My boyfriend is very athletic and strong, however the past 2 years of 80 hour workweeks has really taken a lot out of him. He's not motivated to eat better and won't make the time to work out regularly. It makes it pretty hard for me, but I just remember my life is my own even if I love this man. But motivation is hard to find - it's much easier to sit on the couch and watch Netflix. :)

I really commend you for trying to improve your life while having so much on your plate - babies are so much fun, but they're also a lot of work. Just do your best and remember you can't do more than your best. Good luck!

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Making it automatic failed this last week. With everyone but me sick, our schedule was way off, so I didn't have one to follow and working out fell by the wayside.

No, my wife isn't very motivated right now; she's breastfeeding and it takes a ton of time. Once that's done she'll probably get back into her old routine of swimming or pilates every day. She is very supportive though, she helps to make it possible for me to get a workout in every day and she's changed her menu to help me meet my nutrition goals.

I'm glad you're doing the Tough Mudder. How are you going to train for the obstacles?

“We might as well start where we are, use what we have and do what we can." – Caitlin Rivers

Sloth: The Man with the Hammer battle log

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Make rewards for yourself.

If I sign up and do the Tough Mudder.... I will go on a weekend vacation with my wife.

If I work out today.............. then tonight I can watch my favorite show on tv.

If I eat right today.............. then I can play that video game.

Have you wife join in and make it a competition. Like if she works out and you don't then you have do the dishes and etc... Don't make it into anything set in stone, but it can be fun if done right.

IMPORTANT: Unless its healthy, like a steak, do not use food as a reward.

Good luck with all this. Maybe adding your baby into working out can help. You can rock him/her to sleep while doing high rep execises like squats.

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Welcome to the NF forums!

I don't have kids, but I am in my mid-30's.

I have this bookmarked, and go to it in times I need a pick-me-up.

NF Inspiration

Also, I watch these videos for added motivation when I don't feel like doing anything:

How Great I Am

Versus - Momentum

I know they are more sports related, but they make me feel like I can do anything after watching them.

Every morning in the mirror, I look myself in the eyes and say "I'm going to show YOU how great I am."

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Hi! Not male and just hit my 30s and no kids yet, but.....I feel ya. I work 30+ hours a week plus attend school full time (1 hr commute one way) and damn being a newlywed is hard! I am totally a workaholic and have to challenge myself in whatever I do. And if I don't do The Best, it is a complete and utter FAIL. It's hard but the rewards are so worth it! Welcome to the Rebellion! Also I am a great butt-kicker/motivator so if you need some let me know.

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