Atrytone Takes A Single Step

[Sevasan]

Yes, school is very expensive! Now don’t do like I did....   I went to school for 3 years and changed my major 5 times...  if you ever have the chance to do that, I would not recommend it!   And yes I would think that when ...yes “when” …because it will happen one day.   ... when you move out, it should make things better with your mom.  I know it is hard to live with your parents at times, but things will get better!   *Staying positive!!!*

 

So yea, makes more sense to spread the treats out rather than downing the whole thing all at once.

 

And I had a blast on my vacation!!!  Ended up being more tired than I realized but getting back to a normal routine will help.  I had a ton of fun, but also glad to be back home.

[NeuroPunkNonsense]

Well I think I'm set. I have two weeks (not counting finals) left. I graduate in June. Four years with the same major is no problem when it's something you love and you're good at staying hyper focused.

[NeuroPunkNonsense]

I'm not sure if this is something that's here to stay or just a temporary upswing but I've been feeling pretty good about myself lately. Overall that is. I just feel more comfortable in my own skin. I haven't lost much fat or built much muscle that I'd consider noticeable, but my measurements over the past couple months have shown a definite redistribution. So changes are happening even if they aren't obvious. It's really nice. I just feel happy about it and I hope that feeling stays. I usually have way too many body image issues for my liking.

[Sevasan]

On 3/29/2016 at 2:37 PM, Atrytone said:

Well I think I'm set. I have two weeks (not counting finals) left. I graduate in June. Four years with the same major is no problem when it's something you love and you're good at staying hyper focused.

 

Awesome!!! Not much more to go!  What is your major by the way?  (If you have said it before I have totally missed it and I apologize.)   Being hyper focused is a good thing!  i know that is something I need to work on myself. Kudos!!!  

 

 

5 hours ago, Atrytone said:

I'm not sure if this is something that's here to stay or just a temporary upswing but I've been feeling pretty good about myself lately. Overall that is. I just feel more comfortable in my own skin. I haven't lost much fat or built much muscle that I'd consider noticeable, but my measurements over the past couple months have shown a definite redistribution. So changes are happening even if they aren't obvious. It's really nice. I just feel happy about it and I hope that feeling stays. I usually have way too many body image issues for my liking.

 

Once again, KUDOS!!!  Stay with that attitude!  

Even if you don’t “SEE” it, it does not mean changes are not happening, as you said. We are our own worst critic.  Glad you are getting more comfortable and feeling better about yourself!  Stick with it and imagine how much better you will feel later on!            

[NeuroPunkNonsense]

2 hours ago, Sevasan said:

Awesome!!! Not much more to go!  What is your major by the way?  (If you have said it before I have totally missed it and I apologize.)   Being hyper focused is a good thing!  i know that is something I need to work on myself. Kudos!!!  

Yup. I'm pretty ready for a break before grad school you know? I want to pay off my loans. I think I've mentioned it in other threads but not this one; I'm a psych major. I'd like to pursue a career in cognitive neuroscience though which means I have approximately 50 million more years of school ahead of me (actually like 6-12 years but same dif). Hyper focused can be good and it can be bad. I tend to drop off the face of the planet around midterms and not reappear until after finals. It's been less like that this year as I've been finding motivation very difficult to come by. It's a common issue, or so I'm told.

 

Quote

Once again, KUDOS!!!  Stay with that attitude!  

Even if you don’t “SEE” it, it does not mean changes are not happening, as you said. We are our own worst critic.  Glad you are getting more comfortable and feeling better about yourself!  Stick with it and imagine how much better you will feel later on!            

I guess I'm just worried it's a temporary up. In the past I've had days or weeks where I feel great about myself followed by the same days or weeks of...not hating myself per se. But it's definitely not a positive feeling. I also get pretty serious cases of the "mehs". I'm happy now but what if it's just an upswing and there's a downswing around the corner? I try not to dwell on it because it prevents me from enjoying the moment but it's usually in the back of my head when I feel particularly good (or bad) about myself. I'm really hoping that actually improving my physical health and well being will have a lasting positive effect of my psychological well being.

[NeuroPunkNonsense]

New squat PR! I'm so happy. I'm getting super close to 50% of my body weight. Exciting!

[Sevasan]

21 hours ago, Atrytone said:

New squat PR! I'm so happy. I'm getting super close to 50% of my body weight. Exciting!

  Awesome!!!

 

  I feel lame but.......  what does the PR mean?

[NeuroPunkNonsense]

Personal Record. I've heard some people will also use "PB", meaning Personal Best, but I prefer PR.

[Sevasan]

And now it seems so obvious. haha!   That was my glorious moment for the day!  

 

I just find comfort in the fact that we all have to learn somehow.   *hides head in shame*   

[NeuroPunkNonsense]

No shame dude. I had to look it up myself back when I first started. Never feel bad about asking questions or trying to gain knowledge. Everyone starts somewhere.

[Maggie-Miau]

*slides in* I had to look up what DOMS means after spending several days in deep confusion when people kept using the term.

 

Congratulations on your record, by the way, Atrytone! Almost halfway there!

[NeuroPunkNonsense]

Yup, I had to look DOMS up too.

Thanks! Next time I go I should be up to 52%. I'm pretty stoked.

[Copper Rabbit]

Hi Atrytone! It's nice to see you here, I was a bit nervous about joining up too but it's a great community!

 

I'd be happy to follow along if you don't mind, it sounds like you're nearly done your degree which is an awesome achievement! (:

[NeuroPunkNonsense]

It is pretty great isn't it? I definitely don't mind.

 

Thank you. I'm glad to almost be finished this step of my education.

[Sevasan]

Yea, I got lucky with DOMS and i had read it in a book once before and they actually has it defined in some notes. 

 

And yes, we all have to start somewhere!  I know I still have a lot to learn.

 

 

7 hours ago, Copper Rabbit said:

Hi Atrytone! It's nice to see you here, I was a bit nervous about joining up too but it's a great community!

 

 And I Agree Copper Rabbit.  From the short time I have been here, it does seem like a great community!   (even for us asking questions. HAHA!)

 Glad to become a part of it.

[NeuroPunkNonsense]

Dinner was a non-event at our house tonight. My parents both had cereal. Usually I'd probably just snack on whatever and call it good. Food and eating is probably one of my biggest hurdles. I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables which, sadly, don't always have that many calories in them. I'm probably going to have to count calories in a future challenge just to see where I'm at. :/

 

Anyway, instead of going the easy route I grabbed three small carrots and two small potatos and cut them into sticks that I roasted with olive oil, salt, and pepper. I also made two basted eggs without seasoning. Not the worlds greatest dinner but still decent. Better than I would usually make for myself at least. Unfortunately I'm still hungry. I didn't eat all that much earlier so it's not surprising. There's not much to eat though. We need to go grocery shopping.

[NeuroPunkNonsense]

Not sure if I'll have time for the gym today. In typical, "it's my last semester and all my motivation is gone", fashion I've left myself 7 pages of an 8 page paper to do that's due today. I've gotten it down to 5.5 pages now but yeah. :/ That was really dumb of me.

[Sevasan]

Just think of all the motivation you will have once your last semester is over!     

[NeuroPunkNonsense]

None?

 

[Sevasan]

*GASP!*    

 

  You know better than that!  HAHA!

[NeuroPunkNonsense]

My only motivation once I'm done is to get a job, pay off my loans, and move out. Once that's done I'll see about more schooling. 

[Sevasan]

On 4/5/2016 at 10:34 AM, Atrytone said:

My only motivation once I'm done is to get a job, pay off my loans, and move out. Once that's done I'll see about more schooling. 

  

 

That sounds like an awesome plan!    Hope all goes well for the end of your semester!

[NeuroPunkNonsense]

Today might be the last day I get into a gym for a while. Until I get a source of income and can afford a membership somewhere local. I'm having some self-doubt issues right now. I've been feeling pretty good about my progress but then I see all these awesome people who are doing way better than I am. Even though I know I shouldn't make comparisons it's hard not to. I know I've improved myself a lot since I started. I went from hardly being able to do a body weight squat without falling over and now I can do almost half my body weight (it should be over half as of today). It's hard though. I've been trying to improve my self-esteem for years and sometimes I feel like it's taken and I'm good and don't base my self-worth on others. Sometimes it's not so easy though. I just see how far I still have to go. It's like this sort of aching emptiness. Like someone dug out my lungs and I can't quite catch my breath because its so hard and so empty and all I can see is what I lack. It's hard not to think of myself as worthless sometimes.

 

I'll be alright. I'm upping my squat today so hopefully that will improve my mood. I guess all the stress and lack of sleep is catching up to me.

[NeuroPunkNonsense]

I had kind of a rough day today. I didn't sleep well and all this "almost done school" crap is just really adding up. I went to a free clinic today and saw a therapist I've seen a few times before. She offered some really good suggestions that I'm appreciative of. I guess I'm just feeling kind of lost right now. It's weird but it's almost like I don't know who I am right now. Apparently that's "normal" though. Whatever the heck that's supposed to mean.

[AaHa]

You'll get through. When I finished my undergrad, I had a, "what the hell do I do now with all this debt and adulthood stuff lol." Not saying this is your sityuatio, but it was stressful. I found a job, changed to new ones a few more times. Worked full time and went to grad school.....that was stressful. On top of that I had extreme family drama going on so it lead to panic attacks, visit to cardiologist. All turned out fine in the end. 

 

That was a long winded response to end with a brief summary of, things will work out. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Keep your head up in the hard times, because it will make you stronger. Then you'll be able to help others through similar struggle's.