On my own again

[Bookworm_Tess]

I'm all alone again. No instructors.

 

For the past semester I had been working out at this awesome gym with this great PE instructor and for once I was getting results! It was expensive as fuck, but I have never been so strong, safe & pain-free.

 

But a new semester arises and things changed a lot. I'm really, really broke, like, really broke. (For a change, huh?!) I gave up working to finish Law school (this is my last year and I have a shitload of things to attend to so I can get my degree). I have to pass the "bar" (local license examination) and turn in my senior thesis. Also, I'm preparing for a very competitive public post (attorney for the State). On top of that, I thought it'd be a good idea to take up German too.

 

(May I just say... NERD!)

 

So there you are. I have no time to go to the gym and very little money to find solutions with.

 

Thankfully, there's a gym in my condo, fairly well equiped, the only two major things I feel are missing are safety bars on the squat rack, which have served me more than once, and a bar where I could hang from for pullups and stuff.

 

And the PE instructor of course. (I miss him so much...)

 

With losing my instructor and my gym routine, I have just kinda let things... slide... and I'm currently some six weeks without regular exercise (I have randomly hit the condo gym, no routine tho).

 

I'm going fucking crazy.

 

As in crazy crazy. Craze ass bitch. Touring crazy town. Looney tunes. Bananas.

Just last Saturday I had a panic attack sitting in my living room alone trying to watch a movie.

 

I feel depressed and anxious and losing control of shit. I feel like crying and lose my appetite. I have intrusive thoughts and can't focus on work.

 

Working out's my goddam zoloft and I know that. Have known it for some time. Overcame fucking addiction with it.

 

Yet I let it slide. Shouldn't have let it slide.

 

So goddam hard to do it by yourself.

 

So I came back to NFR, maybe the community can help me keep the routine going.

 

We shall see how it goes.

[Bookworm_Tess]

I had set to workout three times a week. The new semester is just starting now (late, on account of a strike we had last year -- public schools, bruh, all education and no crippling debt ooh-hoo \o/ ) and I'm still trying to adjust my schedule, which is one more reason why it's been so hard to keep to the exercise regimen.

 

As I was saying, I had set to work out three times last week, Tuesday evening (no class), Thursday evening (only 8pm class), and Saturday (no class). Tuesday was easy. Thursday was a mistake tho. I saw a block of vacant hours there and thought this might be a good time to work out. But after attending classes from 7am to 11am and working all afternoon and having yet another class at 8pm, thinking I could work out then was a trip. No work out. Friday I had adult errands to attend to before evening classes... no workout. Saturday I was bored & lazy... no workout.

 

But I did hit the gym on Sunday. And it felt great.

 

I already know that the worse periods to control my mood and my impulse issues are when my hormonal cycle is in each of its peaks: ovulation and pms. Ovulation this month was brutal, as stated on the previous post. I can only expect pms to be another ordeal.

 

Which is why I'm proposing myself the following challenge: work out everyday till the next cycle starts, to try and handle the anxiety.

 

When I'm tired, or when I'm supposed to take a rest day, I'll squeeze in a stretching session, which at least will get my muscles warm and my blood pumping a bit.

 

I'll report how it goes.

[Bookworm_Tess]

Calling Sunday day 1 (cuz it was), I got it two in a row. Cheers!

 

Sun, March 20 - STRENGTH

Mon, March 21 - CONDITIONING

[Jord]

Welcome back. I'm not sure how I got here. i clicked one thing, then I clicked another thing, and somehow I ended up at your battle log. Everyday is another day to workout. You can't go back and change the days you didn't, you can only make progress from here. It is you against you. And you already know you can do this. So basically, YOU GOT THIS!

 

[ninjaking]

Good on you for keeping at it.  Even when money is low, no reason you can't keep up with fitness.

[Bookworm_Tess]

I got a good week's workout, not perfect, but good, than Iron Maiden came in the way lol. Truly. Iron Maiden came to play a concert here and the husband is a blind fan. It was a great concert, don't get me wrong, I was very impressed with the quality of the band.

 

But before Maiden came in, Anthrax opened for them, and that's when I got my banging done. Lemme explain this to you: when you let you hair grow long, all you have to do when you want to headbang is put all your hair down in front of your face and shake your head lightly sideways. You actually hairbang, do you see what I mean? When you decide you'll look good in a short bob, though, and you let yourself get caught in a concert with one of the loudest trash metal bands ever, then you may try to really shake that thing, and the neck gets the worse of it.

 

I'm not a metal head exactly, but I got ears on my head. You don't just watch Anthrax with your eyes, you see. Those fuckers are LOUD.

 

Next morning I can barely move my head. Three days went by before I recovered full mobility of my neck. Tessy's gettin old for this shit...

 

***

 

So I'm without exercise since Anthrax & Maiden's concert last Thursday, and when Monday came along I thought: this is a nice day to go back to the gym.

 

But then the condo decided to get work done in the gym. It's closed down. They say there's a leakage coming from the ceiling so god knows when it's gonna be open again. The apartment per se is way to small to be burpee-ing around it, and though I use very little equipment, it's absolutely necessary equipment which I never had to buy because it could be found at the gym, like mats and dumbells and stuff.

 

Alright. Here I am, then, no exercise, crawling outta my skin as my law licensing examination day approaches. All I can do for myself right now is use the time I'd be at the gym to study for my exam and eat cookies. Chocolate cookies. 

 

Will be checking in soon.

[Bookworm_Tess]

Anyone else having a hard time locating content in the new layout of the NFR?

[Bookworm_Tess]

I feel like a dried up piece of turd.

 

Thankfully the gym in my building is open again and I can start over. My first law license examination was yesterday and I did pretty well, it lifted some weight off my back and today looks like a good day to start over again.

 

Next examination day is six weeks from today, but I feel pretty positive about it, provided I get plenty study until then. Gotta be careful because the timing of the second exam will coincide with my midterms. Gotta be extra careful about that.

 

Also, next week my German classes start. (Soooo excited about that!!)

 

I have to be realistic about exercising possibilities, and, above all, I can't miss my workout due to not being in the mood, because if I do, I won't have an opportunity to do it over before next opening. But I have to do it. I have to exercise, even if it's a bad workout, even if I'm just doing time in the gym and not really getting any stronger, because my mental health depends on that. When things get less not-ideal, I'll look for help again so I can advance on strength. For now, I gotta keep my head clean.

 

It may not be ideal, but it's better than nothing at all.

 

 

Got my week planned out, on a post it lol. It's ADD -- I have to have time drawn on a piece of paper with colored pens to make sense of it. It's in Portuguese because I'm Brazilian... but you can have an idea of my planning: the blocked time in purple highlighter is study time, and the ones in pink highlighter is workout time. The time blocked in purple spherografic is unavailable time: classes and work (part-time as an Law intern).

 

Three times a week at the gym, two for strength and one for conditioning. I feel confident I can do it.

 

The challenge now is keep it up till next license examination, on the last weekend of May. That's six weeks, so maybe I should join the NFR challenge with the others... Get some real support and accountability, right.

 

Till next time! Cheers!

[feralMorra]

You've definitely got this. Also, so glad to see I'm not the only nerd that uses a plain old piece of paper to write my schedules on.  ^.^

[Bookworm_Tess]

Just dropping by quickly to share this: http://breakingmuscle.com/sports-psychology/life-aint-easy-train-anyway.

 

The article is titled "Life ain't easy, train anyway". Which is also the story of my life, so...

 

Have a nice Wednesday, everybody. They're tough but maybe we can carve out some time to move our body the way nature intended <3

[Bookworm_Tess]

I miss my instructor. Considering going back even if that means draining my account of every last available drop of money.

[Bookworm_Tess]

I've been posting on the challenge thread: http://rebellion.nerdfitness.com/index.php?/topic/81179-discipline-compass-3x-a-week-nothing-else/#comment-1884331

 

[Bookworm_Tess]

To whom it may concern. Working out on my own didn't work out

I tried hard to make it work, but it just needed too much energy to organize the time to exercise and to have the self discipline to do it alone.

 

So I found a place to exercise. I couldn't find a strength & conditioning gym near my school or home that fit my budget, but I did (finally) find a martial arts one, a really cool martial arts gym, and took up muay thai.

 

It's not ideal, because I dig strength, but I'm there four times a week now, working hard and learning a new skill. I also made a couple badass lady friends. Fighting ladies are awesome!

 

So here's my tip for you who's out there trying to do it on your own: in case your plan isn't working, like mine wasn't, maybe accept the less than ideal scenario and find a gym, coaching and/or company to get your workouts done. And a purpose, it's of the utmost importance. Nothing will be accomplished without a clear purpose, you don't just do something for its own sake, stuff got to have a meaning for you. A powerful one. Find something you can attach a purpose to.