Michi cleans up!

[MichiruSedai]

Back for another challenge!  I feel like this month, I'll be advancing in some ways, and going backward in others, but it should all be helpful!

 

1. Clean up my drinking!

I was doing well with cutting soda this earlier this year, but as soon as I dropped it from my challenge goals, I lost sight of it.  For this month, I will only drink soda at work, or in a mixed drink at a social gathering.

I have maintained my (not listed as of yet) goal of only drinking alcohol in social settings. This month I am making it official.  The last couple weeks my depression has started to intensify again, and historically that makes me drink a lot more often. I don't want to fall into this trap again.  I will continue to have a couple drinks at game night, but no solo drinking!

+2 Con, +1 Sta

Week 1: 100%

Week 2: 100%

Week 3: 86% (missed one day)

Week 4: 100%

 

2. Clean up my snacking!

Guys, this is super embarrassing for me to admit.  But I know NF is "safe space", so here goes.  My snack habits for the last couple years involve eating an entire bag (not the little bags, the big bags) of pre-popped popcorn almost every day.  Like at least 5-6 days of the week.  Sometimes I also eat a bag of chips (again, full size bag), or a bunch of candy, or etc.  Now, I have done really well over the past few challenges in that I have cut almost all sweets (baked goods and candy) out. I'm eating small portions occasionally instead of mowing through a box of Little Debbies in a day.  But I am still crunching away. 

One step I have already taken to hopefully help with this is I am eating bigger lunches.  Healthy, but bigger.  I am hoping this will help me stay fuller longer, so that I don't go nuts on snacks after work.  I am also spending the money to buy healthy snacks.  My current favorite is green grapes which are kinda pricey this time of year.  Well, I am paying the money, it's better to keep those in the house then junk.

So, the goal itself:  Only eat popcorn twice a week.  That would be a big improvement from 5-6 times a week.

+1 Int, +2 Wis

Week 1: 100%

Week 2: 100%

Week 3: 100%

Week 4: 100%

 

 

3. Clean up my exercise!

Just kidding, my exercise isn't dirty. (maybe it should be?  that would make for fun tracking, LOL) I just wanted to stick with how I'd been writing these because reasons.    So, this month I'm going to step outside my cardio comfort zone. I will do the NF Beginning Bodyweight Workout twice per week.  I will also still do cardio, at least twice per week.

+1 Str, +2 Sta

Week 1: 100%

Week 2: 50%

Week 3: 50%

Week 4: 100%

 

 

4. Clean up myself!

As previously stated in this post, the depression monster has been chasing me harder lately.  The first thing to go is my personal hygiene.  Gross, I know, but I am going to make it a goal to take care of myself.  What I am listing as my goal may seem like low standards, but it would be a huge improvement over depression standards.  For this goal, I will take full showers at least three times a week, and I will brush my teeth every day.

+3 Cha, +3 Wis

Week 1: 100%

Week 2: 100% teeth, 66% showers (2 of 3)

Week 3: 100% teeth, 66% showers (2 of 3)

Week 4: 100%

[MichiruSedai]

As I've seen popping up in other threads, a bit about me.

 

I've been overweight since middle school.  I started to really gain when I got sick in high school.  With the wonders of modern chemo, I didn't throw up at all - instead, I kept eating, but had very little activity, so I packed on the pounds.  College came, and with it more weight gain.  Etc etc.  I spent most of my adulthood between 220-230 lbs. I'm 5'5" for perspective.  I tried and failed several times to lose weight, usually managing to drop 20 lbs or so, then gain it back with extra.  When my marriage exploded in August 2012 (he cheated on me with now ex friend, left me for her, etc), I decided I would SHOW THEM! I'd lose weight and be super hot! I got down to about 202 lbs before my depression grew to the point of Who Cares.  I gained it all back and then some, and landed somewhere in the 240's. I've spent the last three years usually between 235-255.  Well, last year, I thought I had found Mr. Right.  A friend of mine asked me out. We dated most of the year.  He ended up "ghosting" me, and I later learned there was someone else.  My self worth (what little I had) was gone. I wasn't even worth a break up.  I ballooned up to 272 lbs as of my December weigh in. 

 

That number made me see enough was enough. I made small changes, still ate a bunch of crap over the holidays, but did manage to lose 3 lbs.

 

January I joined a challenge here. It is the first challenge I completed.  I've been rocking and rolling here ever since.

 

I've decided to take an indefinite break from dating, because... yeah.  It seems to just add stress. I have so little trust left anymore, and I'd rather devote the energy to me. So instead, I've formed a D&D group, a board game group, and I'm debating going to things like Friday Night Magic.  I do some video gaming as well, I read, I watch tv, I keep busy.  I'm slowly re-building a social circle. 

 

My cohort in much of this is my six year old son.  He loves cooking, so we cook together., He loves gaming, so we game together.  He is my inspiration and my team mate. We actually decided since we're a team, we should have a team name. So, we're called "Team Awesome: The Silly Club".   I love that crazy cake!

[LadyWitch]

I think 'dirty exercise' should be more of a thing! Nothing wrong with going out and getting a little bit muddy... that was the kind of 'dirt' you meant, right?!

 

We did D&D for about 3 years (the same campaign) and I've had to take a break from it, as I got burnt out  Didn't help that I was hosting and had to cook for 7-8 people every week! But I do still enjoy the weekly board game sessions we go to at my friends, its a great way to chill after a long week!

 

Isn't it strange that when depression hits, the first thing to go is your ability to care about showering? I've had that, and had my hubby order me to go take a shower  

 

Good luck with all your goals

[stealthstitcher]

Yay, new challenge! New threads to follow!

11 hours ago, MichiruSedai said:

 

Now, I have done really well over the past few challenges in that I have cut almost all sweets (baked goods and candy) out. I'm eating small portions occasionally instead of mowing through a box of Little Debbies in a day. 

What do they put in Little Debbies? It can't be the gummy, waxy, faux-cakeness that's so addictive. I can't even walk past those things any more. Seriously. I'd finish the box before even getting home from the grocery store. You are far, far from alone on the oversnacking. That said, popcorn's probably a pretty good pick for a snack food, although I get the desire to keep it under control. Maybe eventually switch to air popped at home?

11 hours ago, MichiruSedai said:

 

I was so disappointed as a kid to find out that there weren't actually tiny little scrub brushes inside this cleaner. I didn't expect them to be anthropomorphic or anything, I just expected there to be tiny wee scrub brushes. Childhood disillusionment right there ...

 

[Sylvaa]

I'd like to echo the scrubbing bubble sentiment above. I'm still kind of disappointed about that as an adult.

 

Thanks for sharing your personal story! Part of mine is very similar. I also had an ex (the father of my children) who had issues with faithfulness and a second long-term relationship that fizzled out before meeting my husband (we've been married for almost 4 years now, my kids were 10 and 11 - their father and I split up when my daughter was 1). I can absolutely relate and will totally cheer you on in focusing on yourself! I fully believe that when you get yourself to where you want to be, that's when you'll find what you are looking for. 

[deftona]

I love how you set this challenge up and your honesty and openness when discussing your personal journey is lovely Let me just sit here and follow your progress, fangirling out for Team Awesome: The Silly Club! 

[LadyMonk]

Michi I'm super impressed with your goals and your openness!! I think you've got a very achievable action plan. If you're worried about showering, what about bundling it with working out? Every time you do one, you do the other, then you treat yourself by watching your favorite show (or something). I think Steve wrote a post on temptation bundling a while back, and that's what this made me think of.

Sent from my XT1575 using Tapatalk

[MichiruSedai]

Wow, thanks for all the support! I will respond after work in more detail. 

 

Just wanted to pop into my thread to give thanks, and also to celebrate that in the month of March I lost 9.4lbs.  These challenges are definitely helping me stick to my goals!  Today or tomorrow I'll get my whiteboard set up for April so I'm all set to start Sunday. 

[CrimsonTide2006]

On 3/31/2016 at 8:45 PM, MichiruSedai said:

 

4. Clean up myself!

As previously stated in this post, the depression monster has been chasing me harder lately.  The first thing to go is my personal hygiene.  Gross, I know, but I am going to make it a goal to take care of myself.  What I am listing as my goal may seem like low standards, but it would be a huge improvement over depression standards.  For this goal, I will take full showers at least three times a week, and I will brush my teeth every day.

 

I totally understand how that is. I am the same way, I do try to be better at it too. 

[stealthstitcher]

2 hours ago, MichiruSedai said:

Just wanted to pop into my thread to give thanks, and also to celebrate that in the month of March I lost 9.4lbs.  

That's awesome!

[Tyburn Lil]

On ‎31‎/‎03‎/‎2016 at 2:45 AM, MichiruSedai said:

4. Clean up myself!

 

*Would attempt to hug Mich*

 

Have just posted that the one thing I need to focus on today is having a shower!

 

Oh depression, oh fatigue. <3

 

 

[MichiruSedai]

I wasn't sure how to quote every single reply into one post, so, I didn't! Instead I'm typing in a notepad file so that I can read posts as I go, hehe!

@LadyWitch - I have been playing this D&D campaign for about 5-6 years now!  I'm on my third group.  There have been many breaks when we lose group members etc.  But, what keeps from burnout, is that while I do host the group (as well as my board game group), we only meet once a month!  I also alternate between cooking and ordering pizzas (and everyone chips in $$).  I would love to game more frequently, but with everyone's schedules, monthly is the way to go!

And yeah, usually I know I'm entering a deeper depression because I stop shower and brushing my teeth and caring.  I'm just glad I notice it and I can work on taking steps to keep it from getting as bad as it has previously.

@Stealthstitcher - I KNOW RIGHT?  My swiss cake rolls don't even taste that good but when I buy the damn box I can't stop eating them!!  As to the popcorn, air popped, to me, tastes like cardboard. I end up dumping so much butter and salt on it that I don't think it ends up being any healthier than my pre-popped stuff.  Maybe I can learn to like it eventually?  But I am thinking cutting back from 5-6 days of eating it to just a couple will be a huge start in the right direction.

And I am still disappointed as an adult that the scrubbie bubbles (how I thought as a child it was pronounced) don't actually come to life and clean my bathroom!

@Sylvaa, thanks for sharing.  I have been having an easier time managing my depression these past few months and really the only differences are that I have been focusing on myself and not focusing on the drama of trying to date.  Way less stress, way more self care.

Thanks, @deftona!  We have our first team fan, I feel special now!

@LadyMonk, that is a GREAT idea!  I know that when I work out (at least the cardio I've been doing, this will be my first month attempting the beginner body weight one) I do end up pretty gross and sweaty.  Work makes me that way also.  I certainly have good reason to shower!!  I do like the idea of rewarding myself with something fun afterwards.

@Cannonfury, maybe we can help keep each other accountable on the showering!

Thanks, @Stealthstitcher!  I was super happy that I met and exceeded my goal of an 8 lb loss!

@Tyburn Lil, I will always take e-hugs!  *hugs back*  Like I said above to Cannonfury, maybe we can all help each other stay on track with the showers this month? Such a little thing that makes such a huge difference (for me at least).  Depression and fatigue are super evil monsters.

I spent today being a slug!  But after my stressful week I kinda needed it. Kiddo is with his dad so I was able to veg out and not worry about anything really.  I did prep my white board that I use for goal tracking for the new month, so that's all set up!  I'm starting my challenge tomorrow so that I have four full Sunday-thru-Saturday weeks, keeps it nice and lined up on my white board, LOL!  Tomorrow I will meal plan, grocery shop, and batch cook my work lunches - that worked SUPER well last week.  The bigger lunches I ate last week did seem to help with my "must eat huge snacks right after work" issue.

[T2sarahconnor]

Following along to cheer you on.  I am so impressed with your honesty.  Realizing what we do that sabotages our weightloss is key.  I used to have the same issues with food.  Still have triggers to eat emotionally and have to watch it but from this community and being honest I have really made my good diet a habit.  When I do slip I don't get that feeling that "I have screwed up so bad it doesn't matter".  

[MichiruSedai]

Thanks T2sarahconnor!  It really is helpful to learn. I do still beat myself up a little bit when I slip, but nowhere near as badly as I used to.

[Tyburn Lil]

13 hours ago, MichiruSedai said:

 As to the popcorn, air popped, to me, tastes like cardboard. I end up dumping so much butter and salt on it that I don't think it ends up being any healthier than my pre-popped stuff.  Maybe I can learn to like it eventually? 

 

Agreed! Air popped tastes like it's been left out for ten weeks and has gone stale. I've been experimenting with healthy toppings, but am not having too much luck yet. Balsamic vinegar and.. um... nutritional yeast isn't the worst in the world. Close, but not quite there. 

Hope someone out there has recipes for topping that works. 

Good luck!

[JessOfAllTrades]

Awesome, awesome goals! Looking forward to seeing your progress as we fight the good fight!

[Leigh]

I used to really, really, really love popcorn as well and I totally agree that air popped is not popcorn, it is like eating packing peanuts... and no form of seasoning sticks to it at all without adding a shit load of something like butter/oil/margarine etc and when you do that, it becomes shriveled up and soggy. I started telling myself that it wasn't worth it, having the shells stuck in your teeth for sometimes a week or more was the main thing that keeps me away from it now.

 

I find having chopped up crunchy vegetables works well as a snack alternative, (carrots, celery, peppers, broccoli etc) or I will chop up one or two potatoes into small cubes, and toss them with a bit of olive oil and various spices from my insane collection and roast them for about twenty minutes, makes a decent movie snack for me

[MichiruSedai]

Oooh. I love the roasted taters idea!

 

So, I'm feeling pretty fat and out of shape, which is appropriate, since I am.  I just did the Beginner Body Weight Workout. Or at least... part of it. I couldn't even complete one full circuit.      I guess maybe by the end of the challenge I might be able to do one?  My progress today:

 

• 20 body weight squats - managed 13, and I doubt I was going down far enough
• 10 push ups - managed 0 regular, 0 on knees, so did 10 wall push ups
• 20 walking lunges - managed 5
• 10 dumbbell rows (using a gallon milk jug) - completed
• 15 second plank - managed 6 seconds
• 30 Jumping Jacks - completed

 

 

[Leigh]

squats: go as low as you can go while able to stand back up again, if you can't get your thighs parallel to the floor then who cares! You'll get there with more practice ^_~

push ups: wall ups are awesome, I like table ups myself, a bit lower to the floor but not too much harder than wall ups, wall ups - table ups (like desk or kitchen table height) and then coffee table height and then knees and then floor. <- that is what always worked for me

lunges: they are evil and I currently can't do them at all without brutal knee pain, so you are awesome for doing five! *high fives*

planks: are you doing planks with your hands flat on the floor? or with your forearms on the floor? doing these off the table is also a really good place to start if you are killing yourself going for floor height.

jumping jacks: easy peasy am I right?

 

You will rock that circuit by the end of week two I'll bet

 

 

[MichiruSedai]

I did the plank the way it was demoed in the video, with my hands and forearms flat on the floor.  Thanks for the suggestion on the "table ups". Also the encouragement on squats - I kinda felt like a giant fail on those for not getting all the way down.

 

The knee pain was an issue on squats and lunges, but I know as I lose more weight I won't have as much joint pain.

 

Thank you for your encouragement!

[Leigh]

Knee pain stuff:

I found that a lot of the pain I was getting was because I was letting my knees go too far forward. If I keep my knee right over my ankle then I have less pain doing lunges at any rate. Are you able to do yours by a mirror or a fairly reflective surface like a tv or a window?

[MichiruSedai]

Sadly I don't really have a good reflective surface I can use.  But I will try to keep in mind what you are saying about positioning.   I know historically when I get down about 20-30 lbs more from where I am at now, my knee pain in general is down significantly, so I'm honestly not sure how much of it was from my weight and how much was from the exercises themselve.s

[stealthstitcher]

4 hours ago, MichiruSedai said:

 

• 15 second plank - managed 6 seconds

My archnemesis ... grrrr.

But yeah, that bodyweight circuit is no joke. Getting through it once is an accomplishment.

[T2sarahconnor]

you will be surprised how quickly you improve with the BBWW.  That is what is nice to see the improvement.  The table push ups is a great idea.  You get a better range of motion than knee push ups.  I started by doing them through out the day 5-20 at a time when I was in the kitchen off the counter top.  It was a great height and then as I got stronger I backed up my feet.  When I did the BBWW I would still attempt regular push ups and I was surprised how quickly I improved.

 

the main thing is to keep,going and not give up because you can't do as many as others can.  You are doing great and can't wait to see how much you progress even in this 4 weeks.

[MichiruSedai]

Thanks for the support all!  <3

 

So, day 1 summary.

 

This morning, I forgot I was starting today, and drank a soda for the caffeine boost. Oops.  But, the rest of the day I drank lots of water, and I had a glass of green tea when I wanted something different than water.   I had pretty decent meals - kinda a lazy breakfast (green grapes and string cheese), lunch was a turkey sandwich with a ton of veggies from Subway, and dinner I had a bake tilapia fillet, roasted sweet potatoes, and steamed green beans.  As previously posted I did the Beginner Body Weight Workout (at least what I could of it).  Also I did well on my "clean up myself" goal - brushed my teeth and took a shower.  I am starting off day one pretty strong despite the soda slip up from forgetting I was starting today!   I batch cooked some chicken and roasted sweet potatoes to take in my work lunches along with sliced cucumbers and baby carrots and such to hopefully stay fuller longer. I'm also going to start having two breakfasts.  What I've been doing is eating breakfast on my morning break at work (turkey bacon and a banana, approx 300 calories).   I've been getting hungry before that though, so I'm going to make a bowl of oatmeal with cinnamon and diced apple to eat before work, then eat my bacon/banana on break, and then my pre-made lunch at lunch break.  Hopefully this increase on "real food" will help me with my goal of staying away from my popcorny goodness.