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Fleaball and the paper wars - please don't eat the kittens.


fleaball

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5 hours ago, zenLara said:

Trying to catch up on your thread.

I got stressed just at reading it, omg, these are the paper wars indeed!

This. So much this. But the last post made up for all of it. Congrats :D Hope there'll be more of those posts for the rest of the papers :)

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So I managed about two hours of sleep. I'm just chilling on the couch watching TV and waiting for bedtime to roll around. I will be popping Benadryl and passing the fuck out. Fun story: my undergrad school called looking for money and woke me up from my nap. But my super confused brain decided it was the prof reading my super shitty paper calling to berate me for turning in something that bad. 

 

Tomorrow's the deadline for a handful of (unpaid) internships, so that's what my day will be about. And then starting the stats paper due Sunday night. God I cannot wait for this shit to be done. Time to eat all my vegetables so I never get sick again. 

 

Oh, speaking of which, the hospital fucked up my payment two months ago, and last month when I called to find out what the fuck happened they fixed and said not to worry about the bill I'd received and just to wait for the one this month. Well that came today and said "Your account is now SERIOUSLY PAST DUE" crazy formatting included, and that if I didn't pay by Monday they would have "no choice" but to send it to collections. It's paid now, but what the fuck. Grr. 

 

Okay, back to watching stupid TV shows til I pass out.

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Thank you @Owlet !! I was literally thinking earlier that it's been forever since there's been a kitten gif! Or maybe I've just posted to much that it seems like forever.

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4 hours ago, fleaball said:

Okay, back to watching stupid TV shows til I pass out.

What shows do you watch?

I have the habit of seeing some episode of a series or youtube videos till I pass out too. lol

giphy.gif

 

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15 hours ago, SirPrize said:

What shows do you watch?

I have the habit of seeing some episode of a series or youtube videos till I pass out too. lol

giphy.gif

 

I was watching Supernatural, The Flash, and Arrow since I was a responsible adult and didn't watch them when I had papers due lol. Supernatural is the only one I'm really interested in, but there are other shows that I watch when I need to kill time.

 

That cat looks kinda demonic and I don't know if I find it cute or terrifying.

 

14 hours ago, Owlet said:

Yeah your ratio was way off. Not that I didn't enjoy all the updates, but kittens are still necessary ;) 

Kittens are so necessary in my life right now. When my brain recovers I will find more gifs.

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So I slept for 12 hours last night and feel a lot more human than I have in the past few days. Still exhausted and have zero motivation to do anything, which is unfortunate because of that internship deadline staring me in the face. And that stats paper. Ugh. I've put more effort into finding a restaurant to order from than I have actual work today. This is not good. I'm also obsessively checking my grades because the group paper prof has until 8pm tonight to get them turned in and I don't actually know when they'll show up on the website but I am not good at waiting. Mehhh. 

 

Goal things: had a vegan meal yesterday but didn't do any of the rest. Well. I guess I did the schedule bit? The days before it are a blur so let's just assume I didn't do what I was supposed to. 

 

Jesus I'm so tired. It doesn't help that I didn't have coffee today in an effort to get my heart to stay in my chest. Between caffeine + anxiety the past few days it's been extremely mad at me. 

 

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I'm so mad that this school does +/- on grades. At my undergrad 90+ was an A, 80-89.9 was a B, etc. Mostly I'm just bitter because 3.67 is the cutoff for an A-, I have a 3.61/4 in anthropology, and she said she was rounding "generously." So I think I should have an A. GPA doesn't really matter overall but I'm fucking bitter because I hated that class so much the least the gods of academia could do is bump me up a bit. 

 

Still no grades for any other classes, despite checking every 20 minutes. Also still no progress on either the internship applications or the statistics paper. For no reason other than I just don't want to.

 

Also I didn't actually wind up getting Leverage or House of Cards into the paper yesterday. When you have to write 4 pages in an hour it's just uncontrollable word vomit and I totally forgot about them.

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2 hours ago, fleaball said:

Also I didn't actually wind up getting Leverage or House of Cards into the paper yesterday. When you have to write 4 pages in an hour it's just uncontrollable word vomit and I totally forgot about them.

 

Shhh. Nobody has to know. 

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12 hours from now the paper wars will officially be over. The victor is still to be determined. 

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Hahaha thanks. I appreciate the confidence.

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Have I mentioned I hate statistics? Because I hate statistics. 

 

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I think I finally beat that actual statistics into submission. I feel like it was too easy/I'm missing something now that it's over and done with, but I basically felt like that after finishing every homework assignment last semester, so I'm trying to ignore that feeling. 

 

However. I now have to produce 3-5 pages of lit review on the topic with minimum 3 sources. Not terrible for the 5 hours I have left. But I'm also freaking out because since I did this shit backwards (data first, research after) I'm realizing that oops, one of the variables I picked to study the thing I'm studying is part of its definition. Not as it's defined in the dataset, but as it's defined in the research. It's far too late to start from scratch so I'm just going to hope I can justify it well enough and cross my fingers. So at this point, logically I know I just have to power through, but my brain has already latched onto "LOL YOU'RE GONNA FAIL." I've been staring at my computer for half an hour just going "oh, shit" over and over. Gonna go reheat some pasta and hang out on the porch while I wait for it. That will give me a chance to regoup and also knock out the outside component of my goals. 

 

Wish me luck.

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Stats paper turned in 15 minutes early. I think I fucked up. I thought I would be okay even if I did fuck up a bit because the prof loved me last semester, but then I ran into him on campus last week and he had no idea who I was. And then I remembered that half the people in the year before me hate him because he failed a girl in their class for no reason? (Although to hear some people tell it, her laptop broke or something and she just didn't turn in her work because she assumed it would be a valid excuse or something? And people were just outraged on her behalf? So it may not be cause for concern but tell that to my anxiety disorder. x_x ) I wasn't like, banking on special treatment or anything but I thought maybe "hey remember me, the girl you really liked having in class, who almost died last semester?" might get me a little wiggle room if I were on the cusp of a grade or something. And now I don't even know if I'd be close enough to a decent grade for that to matter. 

 

Jesus Christ. I feel like I'm going to cry and I don't know if it's out of relief or because of stress or what. I'm tempted to go with the former because as nervous as I am about 3 of the 4 papers I've turned in since Thursday I'm also done! First year of grad school knocked out. Hopefully I've passed all my classes and don't have to repeat any.

 

Fuck you, paper wars. 

 

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Welp. I seem to have convinced myself that I'm about to fail out of grad school. So there's that. 

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7 hours ago, fleaball said:

I thought I would be okay even if I did fuck up a bit because the prof loved me last semester, but then I ran into him on campus last week and he had no idea who I was.

 

That's the WORST. I'm always so bummed when professors who liked me don't remember who I am. :(

 

I'm with Owlet on this one. You're the master of paper wars! 

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You've won the wars!!!! Congratulations!!!

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Thanks y'all. I'd reply individually but I'm on my phone and I hate it. 

 

I think last night I was just super stressed and it really got to me. Hoping it was just an overreaction. 

 

Thanks for watching all my flailing this round. <3 I'll have a new thread up by tonight probably. Currently on my way to meet a friend for lunch and then heading to the grocery store before it rains. #adulting

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