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Buy the boots. If they become to wide after losing weight, you can always strength train your calfs to grow bigger again. :-) 
(I have a somewhat related problem: I have a very nice pair of boots that once were part of my dress uniform that, should I be called into reserve duty again I would not be able to wear any more - my calfs have grown so muscular that the shafts of the boots are now becoming uncomfortably tight...)
#guywithgirlyproblems

Rowing, rucking, running, lifting heavy stuff. Why not do it all?

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22 hours ago, turboseize said:

Buy the boots. If they become to wide after losing weight, you can always strength train your calfs to grow bigger again. :-) 
(I have a somewhat related problem: I have a very nice pair of boots that once were part of my dress uniform that, should I be called into reserve duty again I would not be able to wear any more - my calfs have grown so muscular that the shafts of the boots are now becoming uncomfortably tight...)
#guywithgirlyproblems

 

Hmm...yeah, I might be able to do that. I have no fucking idea how I'll get my calves as big as they are now after I have lost weight. But then again...maybe they will stay this size always? *shrugs* Who knows? But then again strong people, men and women, are super attractive so I guess it wouldn't be an issue to have bigger calves. ;) 

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But then again...maybe they will stay this size always? *shrugs* Who knows? But then again strong people, men and women, are super attractive so I guess it wouldn't be an issue to have bigger calves. ;) 



I got mine by being overweight and running. :beguiled:  (Ok, kidding, I always had strong strong calves since my youth, being used to running and cycling a lot. But they surely got way bigger in the last five years than ever before...) 

If you run with proper form - forefoot or midfoot strike -  the fascia and muscle of your feet and of your lower leg do all the dampening that in a heel-strike would be done by the cushioning of the shoe. (Hint: Dampening a shoe sole does not work as well as the body itself. Force transmitted through the knees into the hips while running in well-cushioned shoes and heel-striking is greater than when running barefoot with a forefoot strike. Your body does A LOT of work when running properly.)
I also changed my footwear some years ago; in my free time I now mostly wear shoes with flat and very flexible soles. That works  your feet and your lower leg muscles, too.
And doing all of my at-home-strength work , which was mostly bodyweigh stuff and kettlebells, barefoot should have helped, too. (I only re-started doing heavy barbell stuff again, going to a "gym", that is a room in the basement of our rowing club, one month ago. Before that, I have not set a foot in a gym for five years.)

As you are currently overweight and as you walk and run a lot, chances are high you'll build some muscle in your lower legs (if you keep an eye on proper form). As you will eventually shed fat (you will succeed, won't you?!?) the form of your calves will change - the lower half will slim down as the fat recedes, but the upper part of your lower leg (being the widest part) with the m. gastrocnemius potruding will hopefully remain wide and bulky. And as the upper half of your lower leg is already the widest part that decides whether the shaft of a boot will fit, the boot should still fit after your transformation into Viking-Warrior-Adrianne. 

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Rowing, rucking, running, lifting heavy stuff. Why not do it all?

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21 hours ago, turboseize said:

As you are currently overweight and as you walk and run a lot, chances are high you'll build some muscle in your lower legs (if you keep an eye on proper form). As you will eventually shed fat (you will succeed, won't you?!?) the form of your calves will change - the lower half will slim down as the fat recedes, but the upper part of your lower leg (being the widest part) with the m. gastrocnemius potruding will hopefully remain wide and bulky. And as the upper half of your lower leg is already the widest part that decides whether the shaft of a boot will fit, the boot should still fit after your transformation into Viking-Warrior-Adrianne. 

 

Yeah I do try to walk at least 8 km every day at the minimum. Usually I do it in portions, but in general I end up around that distance more or less. It feels good. I've always been a walker so I guess I have mad strong calves. And considering my dietitian told me when I did the body-measuring thing with her that I consist of like 85 kg pure muscles....well....I think I have something going for me at least. :P

 

I've talked it over with the dude at home and I will wait with the boots. Right now it's too much money that needs to go towards other things (ie wedding, house renovations, cost of sending kitty to the vet) so I'll just have to wait. It's ok, I don't feel to bad about it tbh. I just hope they have something similar in their line next year.

 

Apparently I also had an appointment with my dietitian today! I had totally forgot that! Fingers crossed it will show some difference, I really hope it does. Considering how damned sore I feel today I know I did something good this weekend. So all is good really. :) I'll give a full report after I'm done with her.

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17 minutes ago, Adrianne said:

 

Yeah I do try to walk at least 8 km every day at the minimum. Usually I do it in portions, but in general I end up around that distance more or less. It feels good. I've always been a walker so I guess I have mad strong calves. And considering my dietitian told me when I did the body-measuring thing with her that I consist of like 85 kg pure muscles....well....I think I have something going for me at least. :P

 

I've talked it over with the dude at home and I will wait with the boots. Right now it's too much money that needs to go towards other things (ie wedding, house renovations, cost of sending kitty to the vet) so I'll just have to wait. It's ok, I don't feel to bad about it tbh. I just hope they have something similar in their line next year.

 

Apparently I also had an appointment with my dietitian today! I had totally forgot that! Fingers crossed it will show some difference, I really hope it does. Considering how damned sore I feel today I know I did something good this weekend. So all is good really. :) I'll give a full report after I'm done with her.

85kg of pure muscle? I'm jealous! :adoration:
No, really. There is a viking warrior hiding beneath the chubby bride. Girl, you absolutely must strength train with heavy weights. That would be such a shame if you lost these gems while losing weight... 

Regarding the dietitian: if you feel sore, do not expect a weight loss. Soreness => inflammation => water retention. You know that already, but sometimes it's good to recall stuff like that before you beat up yourself.  (Of, course, should you lose weight despite feeling sore, you'd have done even better.)
Ultimately, appearence is a consequence of fitness. If your performance improves (more weight lifted, the same weight lifted for more reps, walking/running/swimming distance and/or frequency increased...) and you have your diet dialed in, you are on the right track and will succeed eventually. And you DO walk a lot more than some months ago, don't you?

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Rowing, rucking, running, lifting heavy stuff. Why not do it all?

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16 minutes ago, turboseize said:

85kg of pure muscle? I'm jealous! :adoration:
No, really. There is a viking warrior hiding beneath the chubby bride. Girl, you absolutely must strength train with heavy weights. That would be such a shame if you lost these gems while losing weight... 

Regarding the dietitian: if you feel sore, do not expect a weight loss. Soreness => inflammation => water retention. You know that already, but sometimes it's good to recall stuff like that before you beat up yourself.  (Of, course, should you lose weight despite feeling sore, you'd have done even better.)
Ultimately, appearence is a consequence of fitness. If your performance improves (more weight lifted, the same weight lifted for more reps, walking/running/swimming distance and/or frequency increased...) and you have your diet dialed in, you are on the right track and will succeed eventually. And you DO walk a lot more than some months ago, don't you?

 

*nods* This is very very true. Having my muscles sore means I'm doing something good with them and also considering it is "that time of the month" I'm not having my hopes up that hight for a weightloss. Or, ok...let me put it this way. I'm hoping for a FAT loss but I wouldn't be suprised if I had gained some water weight at all. Not at all.

 

And yes, you are right  I move alot more then I did just a few months back. So it will come to me, eventually. I mean...I can't do all of this and nothing happens, right? :P

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So update, as promised. 

 

The wierdness continues. I had gained 1 kg, so about 2 lbs over the last two weeks. But I have lost 1 cm on all my measurements. So basically my outline has shrunk a whole cm. :P Again, I must be doing something right. 

 

Now I'm heading to bed. It is 9 pm and I'm so darn tiered. So I will listen to my body and get some much needed sleep. 

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Holy crap this week has been good! First monday I did the whole dietitian thing and got the results as seen above. Then yesterday I went to see my therapist and that also went awesome. Goddamnit I've come a long way from where I was just 6 months ago. It's insane! To now be able to feel like shit and NOT go for comfort food is amazing. I can be sad and upset and still not eat my emotions. I can eat candy without feeling shame and regret. It is....wonderful. I don't know if anyone can understand if you haven't been down this road yourself but it is so freeing.

 

I also feel super happy with myself because yesterday I shattered my goal for movement. Did 17500 steps yesterday and the NF beginner bodyweight workout. I don't feel sore today! :D Woop woop! So you know...things are plodding along nicely.

 

The next thing I need to do when it comes to food and such is to try to find all of the things that I don't really need. My dietitian told me that she thinks that I just need to tweak this a little more and then I'll start seeing a weightloss. So basically get rid of all the unnecessary things. Like instead of using 1 dl milk in my tea I can just go for ½ of that. I can just take one slice of cheese instead of 2. Just small things like that. In this I'm not counting the totally obvious things like no candy and blah blah blah because I feel kinda over that tbh. This week has been worse because of my cycle but I don't feel the need of sweets as much anymore. And that is nice. But come saturday I will fill my little bag and be happy with that. ;) Now back to work! Hope you all have a fantastic day!

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Wednesday again, where the hell does the weeks go?! Soon it will be christmas again and I have a goal set for that time. Don't know if I will hit it but I will work as hard as I can for it.

 

A little update on the whole situation again. Had a chat with a dietitian at my workplace and we started talking about the need for routine even when regarding food. It ended up with her and me sitting down and me writing down when I eat. Not what, but when. And it because super duper clear that I don't have a crappy willpower in the afternoons - I just become hungry! Between 5.30 am and 11.30 am I eat every third hour, not even thinking about it. But after lunch I don't eat for 6 hours!!!! No wonder I'm ravenous when I leave work! No wonder I end up snacking on the first thing I can find and that being usually candy...well...you see the problem right? So I promised her that I would add two more snacks, high protein snacks that is, into that amount of time and then we shall see over time if I get results. There you go, shit happens and sometimes it is good.

 

I've also been feeling....crabby....for loss of better word since saturday more or less. Like I don't want to be around people I don't like, I'm having a hard time keeping my temper in check, I feel fidgety and restless and grumpy. All I want to do is like sit on the couch at home with tea and read a book or go out running in the woods. That last thing I've tried but I got pissed at the fact that I couldn't run as fast as I wanted....myeah, I think there is living a little gazelle inside me sometimes. :P

 

I also realise that I need to get back to lifting weights. I need to get back to getting stronger, working my muscles that way is good for me. I KNOW it gives me satisfaction. So why is it so damned hard to do it? *sighs*

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Oh..wow....I'm almost two weeks late! Darn it, I bet I'll get my ass beaten now. :P But thank you for checking in on me like that, I need it.

 

UPDATE! Well...or something of the sorts. Let sjust cut to the chase - I think I'm depressed. Or at least heading in that direction. I sleep super bad, food doesn't interest me at all right now and I just eat because I know I have to, working out is a bummer and all I want to do is lay in bed all day. I'm trying to not get stuck in my head, I try to get my shit together and do things but it is...hard right now. I do however feel a little bit better after spending time with my friends this weekend playing DnD, the swedish version, and laughing alot. So it can't be that bad I mean, since I can laugh. Right?

 

This week I'm trying to get back on the wagon. Or at least to eat stuff that isn't chocolate. I've made a mealplan for the entire week, did easy foods that I like the taste of and the just made...a shitload. So I have lunchboxes done for every meal for this week. I don't know how I managed that but I did. And I've been writing it down also, planning it all out in an app. Keeping track. I don't need to like the tastes of everything but I know it is good for me so I eat.

 

A lifesaver has been the egg-muffins I made. I can just heat two of those up and pop them in if I feel like I need food but can't get myself to eat an entire meal. It is a start. And it isn't chocolate. I'm trying to keep it simple right now.

 

I promise I'll get back to the check ups. I prooomise. I need it.

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Might be a bit of overreaching/overtraining or underrecovery. Plus, it is getting cold and dark. That does affect our mood, and this is also the time of the year when everybody seems to get a cold, so there is a lot of viruses and bacteria flying around. Your immune system might be working long hours right now trying to keep these in check. This will affect energy levels and recovery time. So scale back exercise a bit, perhaps even skip it totally for a few days. If you feel better, rest a day or two longer and then get back to work with newfound vigour.

If a few days rest do not help then I'd also suspect depression creeping in. And then, physical activity definitely helps. So if after some rest you do not feel better, and you are certain you are not catching a cold, get back to work. Some cardio (and a lot of walking!), and some heavy strength training. When I was battling a burn-out some years ago and depression and loss of focus started to become too much of a problem, I would usually kill both muscles and CNS with heavy whole-body exercises close to or until failure. (Squats, deadlift, pull-ups.) This would leave my exhausted for the rest of the day, sore for the next few days, but it would practically guarantee sleep - and clear up my mind and help me think straight again. Depression is thought to be caused by a disturbed balance of neurotransmitters, and I felt that by literally overloading my CNS I could kind of "reset" it. (This is just a personal theory based on very rudimentary understanding of depression and my own anecdotal experience. I do not know if there is any scientific research regarding the einfluence of heavy strength training on depression. Please take this with a grain of salt, I am neither a medical doctor nor a psychologist.) Also note that I did not reach any significant strength gains during this period - but as the focus was on just keeping my mind functional, that was ok and somewhat expected. Oh, and do some steady-state cardio. Runner's high is a great source of dopamine. 

Hope you get better soon!
 

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Rowing, rucking, running, lifting heavy stuff. Why not do it all?

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Last night was the first night in a looooo-OOOO-oong time that I slept like a baby. I don't know if it is because of the dietary changes I have been getting around this week or the fact that we finally got snow. Yupp, you heard me right - we have snow now. I don't know how long it will stick around but it came and I slept. And today I have some sort of hangover from sleeping to much but I feel rested for the first time in a long time. And that is great.

 

I'm also a little nervous because on monday I have my first  consultation with a doctor. I've finally gotten a full check up healthwise and maybe we'll see what is wrong with me. So today I took a shitload of blood tests, hade my EKG taken, bloodpreassure and hight and weight. Urgh, I don't like things like that and I kind of suffer from white coat syndrome, thus my bloodpreassure always goes up somewhat. It is stupid really. But anyways it was ok I guess. Had 130/80 and that is acceptable the nurse said. So more on that next week.

 

Regarding wokringout I haven't done anything this week. And I kinda feel ok about that. I've gotten my food under control for the last days and that in itself is amazing. I'll crack out the scale on saturday morning and step on, I think I'll have my weigh ins then instead on monday. Somehow mondays just feels more daunting then saturdays. Don't know why. But come saturday I'll be sure to post an update regarding weight and such, I think I need to become more acccountable towards that.

 

Oh, and super random sidenote - I'm getting a facial done tomorrow. Can't wait. I need to feel pampered. Just a little.

TREAT-YO-SELF.png

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Ok, update time.

 

So I just got down from the scale at the nurses office and boy oh boy do I want to dissapear from the face of the earth. 142 kg, or 313 lbs for you none metric users. That is huge! I've never been so big in my life! EVER! And I kinda can't breathe no more....urgh, it is so damn hard. I honestly have no idea what the hell to do anymore.

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Yesterday afternoon was a disaster. It was a long time ago since I felt so down. But do you know what? I got myself up again. I'm damned awesome for doing that. I didn't bindge, I didn't eat my feelings away - I did feel shit for a while and then I started debating with myself. Ok, so....I'm 142 kg right now, where do I go from here? What did the number on the scale really change? Nothing much really. I haven't gained all this weight in like two days, it has been creeping up on me. So I actually started feeling shit when I saw the number. Before that I felt rather ok with everything. So what did I do besides eat my anxiety away? I'll tell you.

 

* I sent an email to the gym I'm going to asking for a coach to help me set up a regiment, I need the structure.

* I went home and batch cooked 8 new meals within my kcal-range, now I can eat that the whole weekend without getting off track.

* I packed my lunch and snacks for today and then I went to bed, early, to get a good nights sleep.

* I talked to the hubby-to-be and cried a little and it was good. It's nice to talk about your feelings.

 

All that I did. I managed to get out of the goddamned black hole and make a plan for myself. I did it. And now I will follow it. Weigh in at home on saturday morning, will update on the number then.

 

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53 minutes ago, Adrianne said:

 

 

4526744.jpg

 

This is exactly right. You won't lose the weight as quickly as you might like to but if you keep coming back and chipping away at it, even if you have bad days, you will see progress. This process is really really hard but we're all in it together and you have people who can support you here and in real life. 

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If it's not siesta or fiesta, I'm not interested. 

Profile picture credit : NF's resident super artist - NinjaKitten

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11 minutes ago, deftona said:

This is exactly right. You won't lose the weight as quickly as you might like to but if you keep coming back and chipping away at it, even if you have bad days, you will see progress. This process is really really hard but we're all in it together and you have people who can support you here and in real life. 

 

Thank you. You have no idea how much it means to me to know I have support here. It is....fantastic. Darnit, I'm becoming emotional about all of this. *whipes a tear away*

 

YAY! The trainer just called back and I've now got myself a PT! :D So 17th of november I have my first date with her. Much awesome! Things are coming together. And up until then I can focus on getting my food in check.

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I didn't post an update on saturday and I'm sorry! But I was out playing in the snow instead. :P #sorrynotsorry

 

We got snow! YAY! And my mood has drastically changed with it! I'm feeling awake and fresh and I'm sleeping like a baby! Regarding food I've been nailing that all weekend also. Had 350 g of assorted candies on saturday as planned, and that was it. I feel awesome! Regarding my weight - I forgot to get on the scales.... Saturday it was All Hallows Eve in Sweden (alla helgons afton) and me and the dude spent it outside trying to get the garden a little more ready for winter for reals and then I visited the graves of my two granddads and my first love. Yeah....the first boy I ever was in love with, and that was my best friend, died at 15 from leukemia....so it was a hard day in some ways. But I'm glad I went and gave him some time and thought.

 

But monday again. And food is looking on point for this week also. I'm pumped. :)

 

If you just wait a bit I'll go weigh myself real quick and we'll see where I end up, ok? BRB! *runs off*

 

YAY! Got on the scale here at work today and I've lost 1,7 kg! *does a little dance* Well that feels good! Now I'll just keep doing what I've been doing and it will work itself out juuuust fine. :)

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And then The Red Flood came and She ate everything.

 

Or at least that is how I feel today. Heya guys! How are you? I'm doing really good even if I'm bloated, emotional and aching all over. Aaah yes, that damned period came this month too. I don't understand how something so utterly natural can cause me so much stress every. damn. month! I mean....when it doesn't arrive on the day I think it will I freak out and check if I'm preggers and then it turns out I'm not. And THEN, like a day or two after that, Aunty Red comes around! Like....urgh. Every month it's the same! It's exhausting. *le sigh*

Also I become this eating monster during my periods. I want everything. Well....I actually more or less just want steak and chocolate. :P Not together, but you get the idea. One of thise things aren't the worst thing to happen ever but the other...well...I know I shouldn't so I won't.

 

But HEY AMERICA!!! Wtf happend last night dude, huh? I woke up into a snowy winter wonder land and then I found out that Captain Orange won! I mean, sure, the election might have gotten twisted to us over here on the other side of the pond but uhm....wasn't like the other boss-lady a better choice? Sure I get that many people didn't like her (was it because she was being so agressive and "man-like" in her behaviour or the emails? what threw people off?) but uhm....wouldn't she have been better then the dude that won? Just asking, maybe I'm stupid for doing so but I'll accept that in that case. It's easy to sit here and just gape and wonder what the hell is going on but if you are not living in the situation it might be hard to understand, and I get that. So please don't bite my head of for this ok?

 

Personally I'm just hoping the world is still around in 4 years....fingers crossed!

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13 hours ago, Adrianne said:

But HEY AMERICA!!! Wtf happend last night dude, huh? I woke up into a snowy winter wonder land and then I found out that Captain Orange won! I mean, sure, the election might have gotten twisted to us over here on the other side of the pond but uhm....wasn't like the other boss-lady a better choice? Sure I get that many people didn't like her (was it because she was being so agressive and "man-like" in her behaviour or the emails? what threw people off?) but uhm....wouldn't she have been better then the dude that won? Just asking, maybe I'm stupid for doing so but I'll accept that in that case. It's easy to sit here and just gape and wonder what the hell is going on but if you are not living in the situation it might be hard to understand, and I get that. So please don't bite my head of for this ok?

 

Personally I'm just hoping the world is still around in 4 years....fingers crossed!

 

I am going to give you a real non partisan answer to this with no biting at all :) .  in full disclosure I have no dog in this I hate them both so I am not supporting any side here.

There were many reasons why she lost but it had nothing to do with Hilary being a woman.  The big one was she lost the rust belt which is normally very democratic but has not seen the economic resurgence that other parts of america has seen during the recovery of the recession.  The rust belt is in the north and had a lot of manufacture jobs (Think Auto industry) and those jobs are dying.  Trump talked to them and said he would help (Not saying he will or won't but it's what he said he would do) when he was campaigning.  Both partys have left this voting block behind and Trump capitalized on it.  If she had won the rust belt it would have been much harder for Trump to win if he even could have won. 

 

14 hours ago, Adrianne said:

And then The Red Flood came and She ate everything.

 

Or at least that is how I feel today. Heya guys! How are you? I'm doing really good even if I'm bloated, emotional and aching all over. Aaah yes, that damned period came this month too. I don't understand how something so utterly natural can cause me so much stress every. damn. month! I mean....when it doesn't arrive on the day I think it will I freak out and check if I'm preggers and then it turns out I'm not. And THEN, like a day or two after that, Aunty Red comes around! Like....urgh. Every month it's the same! It's exhausting. *le sigh*

Also I become this eating monster during my periods. I want everything. Well....I actually more or less just want steak and chocolate. :P Not together, but you get the idea. One of thise things aren't the worst thing to happen ever but the other...well...I know I shouldn't so I won't.

 

Sorry to hear things got bumpy but don't give up you got this.

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9 hours ago, mdwill said:

I am going to give you a real non partisan answer to this with no biting at all :) .  in full disclosure I have no dog in this I hate them both so I am not supporting any side here.

There were many reasons why she lost but it had nothing to do with Hilary being a woman.  The big one was she lost the rust belt which is normally very democratic but has not seen the economic resurgence that other parts of america has seen during the recovery of the recession.  The rust belt is in the north and had a lot of manufacture jobs (Think Auto industry) and those jobs are dying.  Trump talked to them and said he would help (Not saying he will or won't but it's what he said he would do) when he was campaigning.  Both partys have left this voting block behind and Trump capitalized on it.  If she had won the rust belt it would have been much harder for Trump to win if he even could have won.

Yeah I guess this is the problem. Noone really seems to LIKE Trump. I mean....he says he'll do alot of good things and I get why that is so alluring. I really do. And on the other hand you had Hillary that seems to be super-disliked all over and saying also kinda good things. You know what Hillary stands for, everyone has seen it all over. But Trump? He is kind of the wildcard in this I guess. Like....wtf will happen now? Will he blod up the world of just...fall flat on his orange face? I'm sorry but I really don't like him.....but I'll give him, just like any other human on this planet, the benefit of the doubt and HOPE that I'm wrong about him. Dunno if that makes any sence at all but meh. *shrugs* Thanks for the explenation man, really appreciate it. :) American politics are really confusing to me, since out voting consists of that every man and woman over the age of 18 gets a voting slip sent home and then we just trodd off to our designated voting-booth, but a check in the box that fits us best regarding the parties, and then we are done. So yeah....I'm utterly confused by the whole swing-state, need to register to vote stuffs....

 

9 hours ago, mdwill said:

Sorry to hear things got bumpy but don't give up you got this.

Oh it's been bumpy but not horribel. :) I'm doing better then normal actually. And that is fantastic.

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There are social issues as well but those can get complicated and cause people to get angry quickly so I stayed away from those because I didn't want to have even a chance to ruin your thread.  If you would like to learn about some opinions on the impact of those social issues though I think Sam Harris had a good opinion of those in his last podcast. 

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On 2016-11-11 at 4:55 PM, mdwill said:

There are social issues as well but those can get complicated and cause people to get angry quickly so I stayed away from those because I didn't want to have even a chance to ruin your thread.  If you would like to learn about some opinions on the impact of those social issues though I think Sam Harris had a good opinion of those in his last podcast. 

Thanks man! I'll check it out. :)

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Thursday! I'm one day late for my weekly update! *gasp!*

 

Things are going well. I've gotten into some kind of flow right now and it is paying off. Did a sneak peak at the scale today at work and since november 2nd I've lost 2,5 kg, so about roughly 5 lbs I guess. I feel good about it, really good. But I feel absolutely best about me doing this without stress, without anxiety or any other kind of bad emotion. I'm just...plodding along doing my thing. And I've had a visit from Aunty Red also during this time so I'm absolutely stoked about the results. :)

 

Today I have a date with my new personal trainer. I'm looking forward to it so damn much. I need help to get me some kind of schedule around workouts and also help not going over the top every time. Right now I feel like I need to be consistent more then I need to actually work my ass off. First thing is first - by just going to the gym at this point I'm winning. I don't have to slay the game every single time. Just getting up from the couch and doing something is good. Therefore I want to make a sexy planner with her that I can put up on my wardrobe at home so I see it and can follow along.

 

Ok so some number:

Starting weight: 142.8 kg / 314.8 lbs.

Current weight: 139,5 kg / 307,5 lbs (2 weeks in)

Goal weight: 110 kg / 242 lbs

Lost in total: 3,3 kg / 7.2 lbs

 

My first goal is to get under 137 kg / 302 lbs. When I get to this point I will treat myself to a movie at home with a footbath, maybe force the hubby to give me a footrub and a nice and quiet evening at home. I'll try to not do goal treats in food, because that is mostly what got me to this point in the first place. I'll also change up the goals as I go, right now I want it to be at the first 5 kg but after that I might just do 3 kg intervalls just to feel like I'm not biting off to big chunks all at once. If that makes any sence.

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Holy crap it's almost been a month since I posted anything. Life just...happened. Like...shit. Really shit.

 

So a quick recap. I hit a bump in therapy and have been feeling like shit. Christmas is around the corner and that has always been a shitty time in my family, alot of anxiety and crap like that that comes up during the time when "things need to look perfect". Urgh, I hate it. So damn stressfull. Give me a hot chocolate, some candy cane (polkagrisar ftw) and a blanket and let me cuddle the kitties on the couch and watch movies. That's about what I want.

 

Besides that my dad went in for his 5-year-checkup regarding the cancer he had, we are still awaiting the results of all of that jazz. Fingers crossed. Aaaand as the cherry on top! My mom started her own therapy like a month back and it has been brutal. She has this pathological need to call and tell me things all the time and I just...can't handle it. I've told her that I love her and that I support her but that I'm her daughter, not her best friend. I can't deal, and don't want to deal, with all the crap she has been through in her life. I want us to be mom and daughter, not buddies. And that is a hard thing to have to handle.

 

Oh, and also, my lovelly little Queen, one of our cats, started peeing blood like a week ago, right when shit was the worst. YAY! Turns out it wasn't anything bad and she just needed some antibiotics, she is feeling much better now. But all of that shit in a clump was hard to deal with. But soon it is all over. Soooon I can go back to just being...well...normal me. :P

 

On a good note I remember telling you guys about me starting up a one-on-one contact with a trainer and that has been going goddamn fantastic. I'm down to 6 times with her now, sorry, 5 times. Got my 6th time tomorrow. Usually, she told me, they only give 6 times/person since it is a company gym but she told me that for my sake, because I needed it, they could make an exception. And that feels....awesome. Super awesome. So I'll try to talk about that more. Goals right now is to be able to do 60 kg deadlist, I'm guessing that is around 120 lbs.

 

And results! What is going on with the weight! So I stood on the scale at the nurses office like 5 minutes ago and I'm super pleased about the results. ;)

 

Starting weight: 142.8 kg / 314.8 lbs.

Current weight: 138.3 kg / 304.8 lbs (in 6 weeks)

Goal weight: 110 kg / 242 lbs

Lost in total: 4.5 kg / 9.9 lbs

 

Things are changing! I'm so pleased by this. Very very happsy. ^^ One thing that makes all of this so much more interesting is also that my dad has promised to pay for my wedding dress if I manage to lose 15 kg/33 lbs until our birthday 13th of April next year. So you know - the heat is ON!

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