Adrianne, the chubby bride

[Adrianne]

On 2017-03-20 at 3:09 PM, turboseize said:

So that's leg presses? Hmm, strengthening the legs, but as you do not have to stabilise your body, you are missing out on the tremendous benefits of the true squat as a whole-body exercise.

 

The picture shows a squat rack. That is good. I hope you are not talking about a smith machine (where the bar can only move on a fixed path)... That would be the worst you could do. 
So, if you are doing light squats in a squat rack to work on form, balance and monility, great. But you should definitely go PAST the 90° bend at the knees. Yes, people have been told not to go deeper during the 90s, but that was bullshit and very harmful advice. You need to squat parallel, i.e. the crease of the hip below the knee. That is much more healthy for your knees, as only this deep are the hamstrings fully activated, and shear forces of the knee balanced. 

 

Yeah...it's the smith machine my trainer got me working on....unfortunatly I can't go past 90 degrees with my foot as it is, it tilts up when I try to go down lower. Like I raise up on my toes even if I don't want to. I might try to talk to her and tell her that I want to do more weighted squats without the machine then, just to get away from it. Hard thing to get thou that a trainer tells you to do something that's harmfull.

 

But regarding squatting that low - I'm too fat! I can't get up if I go that low down! I've had this issue for years. When I did crossfit they had me sitting down and getting up from a low foot stool just so I could have somthing to catch me when I lost control. I want to be able to do it but goddamnit it is hard.

[mdwill]

Funny thing, I read your post today and then saw this on YouTube. I think it may help you on your squat journey. 

 

 

 

[turboseize]

Have you tried a wider stance and more angle of body lean? So, as in sitting back down into a squat instead of just squatting down?
If you try to squat down with an upright upper body, your knees move way forward. This necessitates very good ankle mobility. if you'r ankles aren't very mobile, you'll end up balancing on your toes. Now, if you start with a wider stance, feet pointed ca 30° out, you create space for your belly and allow for much greater body lea. You start the squat out by sticking your butt out backwards, folding at the hip and as a consequence of that bending the knees. In a back squat (bar on your back, lots of body lean) you lead with the hip, while in a front squat (bar on your chest, upright upper body) you lead with the knees. 
Even without a bar, with reduced ankle mobility you can only do the back squat style. If you have problems getting "out of the hole" at the bottom of the squat, squat in front of a doorknob within arms reach, so that you can get some assistance. Or just have your friend assist you.

[turboseize]

@mdwill That is a good video. I always forget that some people might just not have the strength for a bodyweight squat, and I always assume and issues people have with that are problems related to form....
Under that light, @Adrianne's combined approach does make a lot of sense. Use the leg press to work the muscles in the leg  and to get the strength up to a point that she can squat her bodyweight. Use the (generally horrible, but here it might be useful) smith machine to introduce a load on the back. And try and try and try free bodyweight squats... to improve squats.

[Adrianne]

6 hours ago, mdwill said:

Funny thing, I read your post today and then saw this on YouTube. I think it may help you on your squat journey. 

 

Thanks man! This was a very very good listen to me and it makes alot of sence.

 

5 hours ago, turboseize said:

@mdwill That is a good video. I always forget that some people might just not have the strength for a bodyweight squat, and I always assume and issues people have with that are problems related to form....
Under that light, @Adrianne's combined approach does make a lot of sense. Use the leg press to work the muscles in the leg  and to get the strength up to a point that she can squat her bodyweight. Use the (generally horrible, but here it might be useful) smith machine to introduce a load on the back. And try and try and try free bodyweight squats... to improve squats.

 

Yeah I think that it is the goal of my trainer to get me into a squat. We do some body weight squats now and then to see if I've gained some range but it's damned hard. I have however seen progress. When I first tried the smith machine I couldn't even go down in a so called squat there, I didn't have enough power to get myself up. So we started on the leg press with just 80 kg. And now I've worked myself up to 120 kg and I've managed to set the peg (that stops the carriage from slamming into me if I drop it) to a lower setting. Thus I'm ganing range of motion. And regarding my ankle that will always be a problem. I mean come on....I have 9 titanium screws and 2 plates in it. I broke EVERYTHING in that ankle. And in that light I'm glad I'm not in pain and can work out all together.

[turboseize]

Quote

Yeah I think that it is the goal of my trainer to get me into a squat. We do some body weight squats now and then to see if I've gained some range but it's damned hard. I have however seen progress. When I first tried the smith machine I couldn't even go down in a so called squat there, I didn't have enough power to get myself up. So we started on the leg press with just 80 kg. And now I've worked myself up to 120 kg and I've managed to set the peg (that stops the carriage from slamming into me if I drop it) to a lower setting. Thus I'm ganing range of motion. 

 

Good to see you are making progress.

 

 

Quote

 

And regarding my ankle that will always be a problem. I mean come on....I have 9 titanium screws and 2 plates in it. I broke EVERYTHING in that ankle. And in that light I'm glad I'm not in pain and can work out all together. 

 

 

So no front squats for you, and all the more reason to work on a deep back squat. 
 

[Adrianne]

Ok, this is going to be one of those posts that mostly consists of me whining. Just a heads up.

 

I feel like shit. Like a big bag of useles shit. I realised it is more then a year ago since I started this journey and I haven't done shit. I wanted to have lost at least 40 lbs by now but nothing has happened. NOTHING! I find myself googeling LCD-diets, you know those powders, and thinking that I'm so goddamn useless I can't do shit on my own. I don't know what to do. Think I'm just having a super bad day but urgh.....

 

And I hate that I start looking for an wasy way out as soon as these feelings hit. Maybe I should get a gastric bypass? Maybe I should do a powder-diet for a couple of weeks? Maybe I should just stop eating? I KNOW this is so goddamn stupid and that I have been making strides to a healthier life but....I'm still fat. And right now, in this exact moment, I feel miserable. And fat. And ugly. Did I mention fat? *groans*

 

I try so goddamn hard to stay positive as much as I can but something it's just too much. I'm just so obvious, all of a sudden, how goddamn fat I am and that I can't do like half the stuff that I want. And I get so dissapointed in myself for not fixing this. For not doing what I know I should be doing. For not....trying harder. I need to do more, try harder, work better.

 

BLERGH! I just...hate myself today

[deftona]

I understand how you feel, Adrianne. Weight loss is hard because you're sacrificing a lot of immediate satisfaction for some far off, future benefit that if you have always been overweight, you won't even fully understand what the pay off will be like. I have had so many false starts I can't even count them. I have lost large amounts of weight, gained it all back again, and felt defeated when I realised I needed to lose so much weight just to get back where I was before and it's disheartening and it's really really hard. But you need to carry on because you really want this. 

 

But why do you want it? Do you have a list of reasons why you want to lose weight? If not, make a list. And then work on making small changes that you can live with forever. Do you want to lose weight so you're healthier, more mobile and can live longer? If so, great. Those are reasons that best align with generally living a healthier life. You don't have to wait for a payoff because you will feel more mobile after every yoga session. You will be stronger after every lifting session, your lungs and heart will be stronger after every cardio session and your body will be healthier with every healthier food choice you make. It will take a little longer for you to notice the changes in your appearance, but keep making the healthy choices and you will notice the changes. 

 

And the best thing about this? You don't have to give anything up forever. It's not like other unhealthy behaviours or addictions. Alcoholics can never drink again. Drug users must stay clean or risk falling straight back into the addiction but you can eat cake again. You can eat chocolate again. You can eat fried foods again. You just can't eat them all the time, and there may well be some foods you decide to stop eating because they trigger binge eating but the more you do this and the longer you are on this journey to a healthier life, the more you will understand your body, your motivation, your weaknesses and that little key that is really personal and specific to your own success. I think there comes a turning point for everyone where they go from struggling with making the healthy decisions to actually wanting to work out and eat better because of the way it makes them feel but the key to all of this is never giving up and always learning because every false start and slip up can provide you with so much valuable insight into yourself if you really look for it. 

 

But start small. Just one decision at a time. A positive decision - so pick something to do as opposed to not do. So instead of banning a food or refusing to snack or something, maybe say to yourself you are going to work out for 30 minutes, three times a week, and you are going to do this regardless of what else happens. Or maybe you want to eat 5 portions of fruits or veg, or do a yoga session a week, or just track everything you eat into a food diary. Don't worry about anything else, just do that one thing. When you have nailed that, add something else and eventually you will have built yourself some excellent habits so gradually that you won't even notice until one day you'll see how far you've come. 

 

But just keep going and you'll get there. You can do this, I know it. Because you keep coming back so it shows you have the resilience. And if you need anything at all just drop me a message.

 

Channel your inner Beyonce. 

 

[Adrianne]

Thank you @deftona for your advice. I very much appreciate it. I will be writing a list of things that makes this important to me and why I want to do it. I promise. <3 

 

I think I'm just having a down day all together. Because when I take a few deep breaths and start to look at what is going on. I'm still doing three sessions of working out each week, monday dance, tuseday lifting and thursday lifting. That is what I manage every. single. week. No exceptions. And it is doing wonders for me. I mean...come one....just yesterday someone told me they could see I had lost weight. I just feel so frustrated about it not being more, if that makes any sence.

 

All in all I've lost 19 lbs since the beginning of january. That is a good number! Considering I do this alone, no help but from my trainer to keep me going and you lovely gais, I should say I'm doing great. Then why is it so hard to see the success I've already had? *sighs*

 

OH! Side note! I could do my first ever really deep squat this morning! You hear that @turboseize? I did have to hold myself onto the desk but I did it! Nice and slow, all the way down. And I didn't even have to lean forward to get up. Always something.

[turboseize]

@Adrianne, what was your leg press when you started working out? And what is it now? 80kg to 120kg is a 40kg difference. Your legs have become 50% stronger!
And you say you have not made progress?

Sometimes progress just is not obvious to the eye. If you build a house, you have to excavate the soil for the cellar/basement. Perhaps you have to drill wells and reroute ground water away from the consruction site, so that your excaveted building site stays dry. You have to test the soil for stability, perhaps you need to compress and fortify it. Only then can you start laying the foundation. And then you will need some time for the concrete to harden, before you can even start to build the walls. 
A casual observer might walk by and not see any progress for months. Yet, these are the most crucial steps in building a house.



edit: this was written before your last post appeared.  Seems like with other people complimenting you, with 10kg lost, and with your first deep squat progress starts to become visible now. :-)

[deftona]

12 minutes ago, Adrianne said:

All in all I've lost 19 lbs since the beginning of january. That is a good number! Considering I do this alone, no help but from my trainer to keep me going and you lovely gais, I should say I'm doing great. Then why is it so hard to see the success I've already had? *sighs*

 

3 minutes ago, turboseize said:

A casual observer might walk by and not see any progress for months. Yet, these are the most crucial steps in building a house.

 

Exactly, to both of these comments. You see yourself every day, it's hard to notice a physical change. Do you take progress photos? Maybe you should start doing this, you don't have to share them with anyone else but it will be a way for you to compare how you're doing better. 

 

It's hard for you to acknowledge your success because you're hungry for more. But don't worry, it'll come

[Adrianne]

2 minutes ago, deftona said:

Exactly, to both of these comments. You see yourself every day, it's hard to notice a physical change. Do you take progress photos? Maybe you should start doing this, you don't have to share them with anyone else but it will be a way for you to compare how you're doing better. 

 

It's hard for you to acknowledge your success because you're hungry for more. But don't worry, it'll come

 

WHAAAT?! Taking pictures of myself and NOT put them up on the interwebsfor everyone to see?!?! What is this foul idea you have!

 

Just kidding. But yeah, maybe I should start taking pictures of myself to track progress! Good idea! Thanks.

[deftona]

hey, feel free to upload them. I am always happy to cheer on my internet friends  

[Adrianne]

30 minutes ago, deftona said:

hey, feel free to upload them. I am always happy to cheer on my internet friends  

 

 

Me at the pool last friday, ain't I a sexy beast?

 

All jokes aside - I would love to have the guts to post pictures....maybe I could do it in gym gear or something and cut the face out. I don't know. I'm just very insecure about my body. But I do love seeing things like that from others so myeah..maybe.

[deftona]

31 minutes ago, Adrianne said:

All jokes aside - I would love to have the guts to post pictures....maybe I could do it in gym gear or something and cut the face out. I don't know. I'm just very insecure about my body. But I do love seeing things like that from others so myeah..maybe.

 

Just do what you're comfortable with. Hopefully you'll make peace with your body whatever it's shape but I think a lot of people are self conscious so don't do anything you're not completely sure about. 

[Sometimes_gypsy]

23 hours ago, Adrianne said:

All jokes aside - I would love to have the guts to post pictures....maybe I could do it in gym gear or something and cut the face out. I don't know. I'm just very insecure about my body. But I do love seeing things like that from others so myeah..maybe.

 

Do what ever makes you feel comfortable. If you want to post pics and are proud of something, even little things then do it for you. I don't think anyone here will shame you.

 

Or post somewhere else. I actually have a separate Instagram I started that I only post pics of health/workout/diet stuff I do like meal prep, new gym gear, #sweatyselfies, lol. and on there I only follow other people who interest me in the health side of things like work outs, meal prep, and low carbers. I keep my travel/friends/other follows for my regular insta. One "real life" friend found it somehow and it sort of annoys me b/c I wanted to keep it separate from anyone who isn't aware of the work I'm doing on myself. Otherwise its semi anonymous. I post my pics but its not linked to Facebook or anything. But I like it b/c it keeps that part very focused for me and its an outlet for me too when I'm proud or excited or even bummed out.  Just an alternative idea...

 

Edit: I should note that my experience with the weight loss/fitness Insta I have has been super supportive. I'm not shy about posting my full body pics or mentioning my weight and I've never gotten a negative comment. Just a few likes and supportive notes from nice random internet strangers.

[Adrianne]

23 minutes ago, Sometimes_gypsy said:

Edit: I should note that my experience with the weight loss/fitness Insta I have has been super supportive. I'm not shy about posting my full body pics or mentioning my weight and I've never gotten a negative comment. Just a few likes and supportive notes from nice random internet strangers.

 

That sounds awesome. I might look into doing that. Or maybe I'll just post some pics here instead and that way I can keep track on what the heck is going on with my body  

[Adrianne]

Mooondaaaay! Oh glorious monday!

 

Hey peeps! How are you all doing today? I'm super happy, spring has finally come around up here in the north! Well, at least it was here yesterday. We had 16 degrees! It was lovely! We did stuff aorund the house, drove a ton of stuff to the recycling station and then we spent the rest of the day out in the garden trying to get that under control. It was glorious! Also, I baked cinnamon rolls. Just saying. Enjoying a warm cinnamon roll with a cold glass of milk out in the sun on the patteo after a hard days work? Fantastic! And then I made chicken lasagna with mozzarella cheese for dinner....it couldn't get any better then that almost.

 

So how are things then with food and stuff? Well after my little smack down last week with low selfesteem I managed to pick myself up. I kept telling myself that I'm not a faliure, that I've lost almost 20 lbs and that I'm killing the workout game. Regardin getting homecooked meals in every day I got that. Still need to work on adding veggies but that is all about habit. I love veg. I'm just not used to having them. I've started writing down now with every meal on the whiteboard at home what veg we are going to have with that dinner, it makes it easier. At least for me it does. I did however have a good week regarding sweets. I had sweets two times, once on thursday when a coworker had made something as magical as a chocolate chip cookie dough fudge cake (don't ask me how, it was just amazing) and then two cinnamon rolls yesterday. I'm not saying it was easy, because it wasn't, but I did it. And that is what matters.

 

*takes a deep breath* One day at a time, right? I'll get there eventually.

[DyDy]

You are, indeed, not a failure. I also nowdays start out planning with the vegs.

 

BTW: are you only eating three large meals a day or do you have other snacks (crackers, ..) inbetween?

[Adrianne]

5 hours ago, DyDy said:

You are, indeed, not a failure. I also nowdays start out planning with the vegs.

 

BTW: are you only eating three large meals a day or do you have other snacks (crackers, ..) inbetween?

 

Yeah veg is hard. I just have like NO imagination when it comes to veg. I tend to get vegetarian meals when we go out to eat and I have many friends that are vegetarians. But yeah....I just need to try more stuff out, that's all. There is only so much you can mix into pancakebatter without making it gross.

 

I do intermittent fasting at the moment. Or more I guess when my body tells me it want's food. Sometimes I don't eat over 16-18 hours and sometimes I wake up hungry. I do try to keep an eatwindow of 8 hours and fast the rest of the time but as I said, I try to listen to my body more. I struggle with cravings and this is a great way for me to figure out if I'm hungry or just have a craving. I've started asking myself if I could imagine eating a chicken breast with some veggies instead of that chocolate. If the answer is no then it's probably a craving. But regarding to how many meals I eat it's usually lunch and dinner with two to three snacks inbetween like cottage cheese, fruit or a piece of bread with some protein rich topping on it. And tea. I drink alot of green and white tea. 

 

 

[turboseize]

12 hours ago, Adrianne said:

I struggle with cravings and this is a great way for me to figure out if I'm hungry or just have a craving. I've started asking myself if I could imagine eating a chicken breast with some veggies instead of that chocolate. If the answer is no then it's probably a craving.

 

That is brilliant.

[Adrianne]

20 minutes ago, turboseize said:

That is brilliant.

 

So far so good! If it works, use it right?

[DyDy]

Ugh, I hear you sister! Never been properly introduced to vegs, my mother like the boil everything out of the vegs, so only mushy stuff remained. That is not very yummy.

 

I'm considering fasting as well. Problem is, that I having trouble getting a good idea what to do for lunch. I'm also waiting for a doctor's appointment to find out which foods my body does like (and I'm scared for the unknown).

[Adrianne]

19 hours ago, DyDy said:

Ugh, I hear you sister! Never been properly introduced to vegs, my mother like the boil everything out of the vegs, so only mushy stuff remained. That is not very yummy.

 

I'm considering fasting as well. Problem is, that I having trouble getting a good idea what to do for lunch. I'm also waiting for a doctor's appointment to find out which foods my body does like (and I'm scared for the unknown).

 

Oh I hear you about mom making mush out of the veg! Tasted like nothing, and I still can't eat boiled broccolli to this day. *shudder* It's disgusting! Thankfully there are a ton of other things we can eat then! I CAN however recommend oven fried brocolli with some seasalt and freshly squeezed garlic on top. It is suuuper good! Love that crunch.

 

How do you find out what foods your body likes? That sounds super interesting! Fasting for me works just fine. But as I said in the above post - sometimes I do a 16 hour fast per day and sometimes I can't make it that long. Like right now, I didn't eat anything after 8 pm last night and now it is 6.47 am and I'm so darn hungry my stomach is making noises. Therefore I'll shove some quark down there and a piece of bread with ham and cheese together with some white tea. So I don't do the fasting suuuper strict, I'm just trying to learn what my bodys signals for "GIEF FOODS!" is, ya know? Plus I recon, why eat if I'm not hungry? *shrugs* I'm giving it a try and we'll see where it takes me.

[Adrianne]

 

*groans and drags herself to her desk*

Like REALLY?! Why isn't it friday yet? Uuuuurgh I can't stand this week! Soo tiered! So damn tiered! I do belive this is because of Aunt Red that came around, I sleep like shit, I eat like....well...a little less good and I feel like I have uncomfortable clouds in my head. HAH, MYEAH, there is such a thing as uncomfortable clouds! Prickly ones. Nothing that destroys your brainfunction all together but fucks it up enought that you can't think straight. I had to ask a colleague yesterday about something I've known since I started working, 9 years ago! Blergh, I don't want this. My belly is swollen, my feet are swollen, I feel like a pregnant elephant, my hair is revolting against me and my skin is all kinds of messed up. But somehow, wierdly enough, I still manage to look kinda cute! I wrangled my hair into submission in some kind of messy half-up doo, I put my favourite highwaisted jeans on, paired that with a white top and a dark green lace croptop over. Yeah....I can do this. OH! And not to forget, since swelling in feet I'm going for compresion socks today. But rainbow-colored ones! Uhu!

The ones on the left, yes Sir! I do own both pairs just because.....you know.....colors! Don't mind the text...couldn't fint a pic besides the one from the website that I got them at. I think I can do this. I just want more sleep. But we are going away for a bit this weekend so I guess I'll get enough sleep anyways.

 

OH! And working out yesterday was haaaaaaard. We always slap a pulse-watch on me as I work out, just so my trainer knows where I'm at for the day. Usually I'm around 120 for medium hard workouts, like flys, bench press, step ups, battle ropes and that kind of thing. Yesterday I was peaking at 145 after 5 min on the treadmill. o.O So that was a thing! I do want to add in that my pulse also goes down as fast as it goes up. So after about 30 sec of rest it's down again to about 130. And that is apparently a good thing. We did however managed to get around that, did small bursts of movements, did aloooot of abwork, backwork, chest and arms. That way I can lay down and still get a good workout. Those russian twists thou.....*groans*. They hurt sooo good! Plus she didn't push me yesterday to go up in weights even if I should be doing that, but yesterday just wasn't a good day. But I feel the burn in my back today and a little in my abs. So it's all good. Next meetup with her is thursday morning and then I'm off for the weekend. I've promised to take a 45 min walk every day for the weekend so I'm thinking about downloading Runkeeper or something like that to be accountable.