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Harihead

Harihead is Moving Ahead

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Tues stats:

Sleep:  Almost 8 hours, 7 of it "sound". Whahoo! New herbal remedy rocks!!!!

Renew:  Talked to book cover designer

Blessing: All the flowers on the trees

 

Phys: Walk + Tai Chi

Fud: Very clean diet, 1 gl champagne

MFP projection = -1.5 pounds/week

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I can say that my sleep problems are definitely mental. I was worried over an email from the company I'm interviewing with, where HR wanted to talk to me instead of the tech team. It's set up for Friday morning. I was convinced they wanted to give me the heave-ho, and that made me distraught, despite the other resumes in the mail. I really want to leave, and the idea of staying indefinitely at a place where I'm so isolated was more than I could handle. I'm definitely fragile and need more healing time. 

 

Fortunately friends convinced me it might be something different, as people usually don't make appts to dismiss candidates. So I'll see what it is tomorrow. In the meantime, I had a great massage and deep anxiety work from my wonderful therapeutic masseuse. I didn't sleep as long last night, but much better and sounder. 

 

Weds stats:

Sleep:  Almost 8 hours, but only 3.33 of it "sound". 

Renew:  0, just prep

Blessing: Deep massage with nerve calming 

 

Phys: Walk + Tai Chi + meditation 

Fud: Very clean diet, some butter, 1 gl champagne

MFP projection = -1 pounds/week

 

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I agree that it's not very likely they'd make an appointment just to dismiss you. Dismissals are usually in email. 

 

And just keep in mind that if they don't want you, it's likely that you don't want them either. I definitely know the need to get out fast, but ultimately it's worth the wait if the next job is a good fit. You've got a lot going for you and you're clearly an attractive candidate. 

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And just keep in mind that if they don't want you, it's likely that you don't want them either. I definitely know the need to get out fast, but ultimately it's worth the wait if the next job is a good fit. You've got a lot going for you and you're clearly an attractive candidate. 

Thank you for the emotional boost. I bounce between feeling good and getting just racked.

 

I feel okay tonight, but I've seen myself go up and down almost daily. I think that's the sustained exhaustion coming out. I sincerely hope once I start sleeping regularly, these mood swings will sort themselves out. I'm not at my peak, stability-wise. 

Thanks again. 

 

Thurs stats:

Sleep:  Almost 7 hours, about 4 of it "sound". Maintaining prep, 1 pill. 

Renew:  0

Blessing: Gorgeous snow-capped mountains 

 

Phys: Walk + Tai Chi 

Fud: Very clean diet, 1 gl champagne

MFP projection = -1 pounds/week

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This is all about the interview progress:
 
I was disappointed when, after interview #2, they didn't schedule my "technical" call. Instead, HR wanted to follow up with me. We had the call this morning. It turned out my salary was the problem.
They wanted to take an additional $15-25K off my salary-- after I'd already been talked down $10K (which would keep it even with my current job). 
 
Salary was one of the options I'd planned for. I'd already mentally decided if she offers me something in the low range, I would decline. And she did. Bummer. 
 
But I was prepared. I summarized some of my contributions that show how my experience would outweigh the salary. I reiterated how pleased I was with the company and how much I wanted to join their team. I pointed out that my (negotiated) salary requirement is actually a medium-range salary in the Denver area for someone with my experience, and I'm a top performer. 
 
So we're going off to think about it. I asked for a timeframe, and she said 2 weeks. I'm also going to decide if I'm willing to take that huge of a cut, but as I'm sitting here reflecting, I can't see taking a $20-30K pay cut (exact amount unknown, as salary increases and bonuses for my current job come out in May).
 
I still intend to get out, but this offer seems as if maybe the job I was envisioning wasn't there after all. I'm grateful for the interviews and interest, though. They got me through a tough time and the company was very nice.
 
It looks like it's back to the job boards.
Have a great Friday, everyone. 
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Thanks, Tank. Yes, I will keep looking. I'm not interested in stepping back a couple of decades in experience. 

 

It was a gorgeous day, and I did get out a little. Tonight I'm feeling relaxed for the first time in ages. I might actually sleep. 

 

Fri stats:

Sleep:  Almost 8 hours, about 4 of it "sound". Maintaining prep, 1 pill. 

Renew:  Disappointing discussion with company #1, off to new adventures

Blessing: The goose eggs hatched!

 

Phys: Short walk + Tai Chi 

Fud: Very clean diet, some butter

MFP projection = -1 pounds/week

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Feeling calm. Yesterday was a full day of sister calls and my monthly writing workshop. I'm so fortunate to be a part of this group. It's been going over 40 years now, and keeps itself strong by continually admitting new members as older ones fall away, because their interests have changed or the group no longer serves their needs. It's been a lesson to me in how to keep things vital. 

 

Week 3 Roundup:

 
Exercise
Cardio = only 5 workouts, and only one of them strenuous. C for week.
 
Diet
Very good! 1 processed food (I let myself eat summer sausage at the workshop), some dairy, alcohol = 4. A for week! 
 
Refresh:
I achieved >= 7 hours total a night for 4 nights this week. Improving. B for week. 
- Tai Chi and meditation much more routine this week. I've added chanting in the car. 
 
Renew:
Met activity goals for the new job front + some fiction groundwork. A for week. 
 
 

Sat stats:

Sleep:  UP was off, so clueless. Less than 7, though, by the clock. 

Renew:  Finishing getting volunteers for executing my will, last of the benefits to get done before I leave current company

Blessing: Dinner with my dear, long-time writing friends. 

 

Phys: 0. Chair day.  

Fud: Very tough day to eat clean. Workshop's idea of food is cream puffs. I did scavenge an acceptable lunch and dinner, but with lots of cheese. 

MFP projection = +1 pounds/week

 

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Did a great deal of meditation and reflection today. Long hike in the mountains was perfect. 

 

Sun stats:

Sleep:  8 HOURS SLEEP! Whahoo! 4 of it "sound."  

Renew:  Lots of chanting, meditation; life thoughts.

Blessing: Rocky Mountain bluebirds! Very beautiful and rare. 

 

Phys: ~6 mile hike, about half of it "up"

Fud: Super clean. Tiny bit cheese, squint of port

MFP projection = -2 pounds/week

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Work is tense. No promising jobs have turned up. I'm getting big into the chanting and meditation to cope. 

 

Mon stats:

Sleep:  A little over 7 hours, 4 of it "sound."  

Renew:  More chanting and meditation; asking my body what it needs. 

Blessing: The idiot who peeled backwards out of his parking space without looking didn't hit me. 

 

Phys: walk + Tai Chi class

Fud: Super-duper clean, no exceptions

MFP projection = -1.5 pounds/week

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Trying to prove to the director at work that I actually can make reliable estimates when I'm not overworked. Just stupid pride. But it hurts having people dislike me all the time.

 

My sister has a great saying. "All you can expect is a paycheck and an office not filled with sewage." She's right; there's no sewage. The job is a win.  

 

Tues stats:

Sleep:  A little over 7 hours, 5 of it "sound."  Improving! I cheated by taking 1/2 a pill when I woke up. Good!

Renew:  Found some more jobs to apply to. 

Blessing: I'm going to World Con!

 

Phys: Tiny walk + chanting

Fud: Very clean, some butter

MFP projection = -1 pounds/week

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Work emergency temporarily beaten down. I wish the knot in my stomach would subside.  

 

Weds stats:

Sleep:  Almost 8 hours, 5.5 of it "sound."  Prep last night included a soothing hot bath. 

Renew:  Kept the relationship "open" with potential employer, in case they can ever afford me.

Blessing: Sold another story to major SF magazine. Sweet!

 

Phys: 2 walks + slow Tai Chi

Fud: Super clean, 1 gl champagne

MFP projection = -1.5 pounds/week

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On 4/28/2016 at 10:29 PM, Hilary_W said:

That's so awesome.  Congrats on getting your story published.

Thank you! I'll be in Analog. I'll let you know when the issue is out. :)

 

On 4/28/2016 at 7:38 AM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Congrats on getting published! Don't let up on the job search, you need to bail on the company of doom as quickly as possible.

You're quite right! Busy week with story revision and work emergency. I'm amassing jobs to apply to this weekend. 

 

On 4/28/2016 at 2:07 PM, Swampling said:

I am with you re knotty stomach... :( Hope it gets better soon! 

 

YAY for getting another story published! :triumphant: 

Thank you! It's so nice to get published once in a while. :)

Boss is finally starting to chill. I guess she realized it's easier to just do business normally and not like a spoiled brat. We'll see if it sticks Monday. 

 

This weekend I have an old college buddy and his daughter coming to town to look at colleges. I'll be hostess today.

Also trying to finalize will. I just realized I need to appoint a literary agent-- in case my screenplay takes off or something. Highly unlikely. 

Still, it will be a good weekend.  

 

Thurs stats:

Sleep:  8 hours! 5 of it sound.  Big sigh of relief. 

Renew:  Looked for more jobs.

Blessing: Tai Chi indoors, quiet day. 

 

Phys: Short walks, Tai Chi

Fud: Clean, 2 gl champagne

MFP projection = -0 pounds/week

 

Fri stats:

Sleep:  8 hours! UP not working, but at least 8. Win!  

Renew:  Looked for more jobs.

Blessing: Snow day, stayed home.  

 

Phys: Zip. 

Fud: Clean, some dairy. 4 gl wine, paying for it today!

MFP projection = -0 pounds/week

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Week 4 Roundup and Challenge Outcome:

I think I put in a solid performance this challenge. My most important problem to "solve," lack of sleep, showed steady progress. This last week I even got to an A! 
Maintaining a very good relationship with the revised diet. It feels very sustainable. Next challenge I'll have to work on bringing the physical aspect into par, but overall I am grateful for the gains made during this challenge and this wonderful community for keeping me on track through some fairly choppy seas!
 
Exercise
Cardio = elevate heart rate at least 25 minutes 6x weekly. Snow contributed to C for Week 4, which gives me a C+ for this challenge. Must do better!
C = >4/week, STA +1
 
Diet
Focus on my 2 worst stress-handling fails: processed food and alcohol. B for Week 4, which shows steady improvement and gives me B for this challenge.
- <=1 processed food/week
- <=7 drinks/week total
B = 3 fails/week, CON +2, DEX +1
I learned a lot about my body during these last 2 months. By cleaning up my diet, I actually like clean better! I think I have established new, healthy habits, friends! 
 
Refresh:
Make sleep and stress reduction a priority. A for Week 4, with 4 8-hour night wins! This gives me a B for the challenge.
B = 2 fails/week, CHA +2
I still feel as if I have a lot of "catching up" rest to do, but the reappearance of an 8-hour sleep suggests to me that the crisis is over. What a battle. I definitely need to build in better self-maintenance protocols so this doesn't happen again. 
 
Renew:
Job-seeking + fiction-writing activities. The ideal is 2 of each per week. A for Week 4, which gives me A for this challenge! 
A = 5/week WIS +3
Continue to deeply reflect on life priorities and options. And another fiction sale certainly helped!
 
3 Month Goal: 
Lose 15 pounds before I go to France this June. - Looks like the 15 will be a fail, but I'm certainly ahead overall!
March: Down 4 pounds.
April: Down 4 more pounds.
May: 

 

 

I feel as if I'm ready for a little break now, where I don't record or report anything.  I just want to live my life and do some deep re-evaluation of my priorities. 

 

I saw a TED talk featuring a procrastinator-- cute talk, but what struck me was a chart he put up at the end that showed a slide of little squares, where each empty box represented one week in a 90-year old life. 

 

I want to make this chart. Many of those boxes will be filled in. I want to use my remaining boxes wisely. I want to be able to look back on a life well-lived, where I'm proud of the accomplishments I made and the contributions I've made to others. I don't want to waste my squares. 

 
"Life is too short," I so often say. Well, it's certainly limited. I'd like to become a little more focused on the beauty and power of each of those glorious squares, the real gift I am given in this time on Earth. 
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You have made some incredible progress this challenge, both with goals and with self awareness on you job. That second one is truly impressive and I'm very proud of you for it. Out of curiosity, are you wanting to stay local or are you looking at jobs elsewhere?

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On 5/1/2016 at 11:12 AM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

You have made some incredible progress this challenge, both with goals and with self awareness on you job. That second one is truly impressive and I'm very proud of you for it. Out of curiosity, are you wanting to stay local or are you looking at jobs elsewhere?

 

Tank, you have been so incredibly supportive, there's no way for me to repay you. You're just going to have to accept the fact that you will have incredibly good karma elevating everything you do. :)
 
At present I very much want to stay local. I have a tremendous network built up here of personal, professional, and writing friends. I'm even being extra picky and only searching for jobs north of downtown. (The valley's air is a little too polluted for me to breathe on a regular basis.)
It's a slow process, but I'm keen to find my professional peeps in a work environment. I know they're out there! Come here, my peeps! *shakes kitty crunchers* 
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On 5/3/2016 at 8:08 AM, shaeon said:

Good work on this challenge, Hari. I'm sure you will find a great job soon. 

Thanks so much, Shaeon! It was great having you as a buddy engaged in the same journey. A tough job situation is... tough!

 

Right now, the jobs seem to have slowed down. I'm looking them over and being picky; will this really be a better situation? I'm grateful for the experience I got with the one company; it helped settle me down and get focused. 

And there's that old rule of thumb: one month of looking for every $10K of salary you want. It helps to put the journey in perspective.

 

Good luck to us both, my friend!

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Oh yeah, I know what you mean. When I got the callback from that one job I had an interview with, I realized that during the time between applying and the callback, my standards had changed. They were no longer a place I would normally have applied with. I started off the job hunt just desperate to get out. Now I'm in less of a hurry, because I don't want to get a job just to begin hunting again immediately. That's also why I turned down the contract work in Montgomery. ;)

 

I agree with your sister that the only real guarantee is a paycheck and a place not full of sewage. But there are certainly things we can do to ensure that it's most likely better than that. 

 

 

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